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UnNews:Shit That Pisses Me Off:Netflix, Iron Man 2, BTTF, Alien, etc.

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29 October 2010


Written by:

Editorial-pissed.jpg Hardy McTakeTheBus

Subscriber, Netflix

Damn!... Damn!... Damn, damn!

Greetings. I have a real bone to pick with Netflix. They signed deals with major studios a while back to ensure that new releases be delayed by 28 days in order to prevent (read: encourage) piracy. I have been waiting a fucking month for fucking Iron Man 2 to arrive. I also have yet to receive Napoleon Dynamite, and The Runaways, but it hasn't been that long yet.

And the icing on top of the ice cream sundae of shit and piss -- the final nail in the coffin -- is that although the recently-released Alien Blu-rays are available on Netflix, the same can't be said for the recently-released Back to the Future Blu-rays. Great motherfucking Scott! Once my DeLorean reaches 88 mph trying to run over the guy who conspired against the 1985-1990 saga, you're gonna see some serious shit! Maybe even literally.

Alien and Aliens (and to an extent, Alien 3) are classics in their own right, but dude, this is fucking Back to the Future -- a groundbreaking film that mixed comedy. sci-fi, time travel, and classic lines and characters that stand the test of time. Who could forget Marty McFly, Doc Brown, or even Biff Tannen? The story was quite simple -- Doc invents a time machine in 1985; Marty takes off with it and travels to 1955; he runs into his future parents as teenagers in high school. Marty seeks the help of 1955 Doc to help him return to 1985.

Maybe it's because of the fuss about not being able to remove the discs? All you have to do is squeeze the packing in and push down on the disc you wish to remove. For a visual, Kevin Spacey shows you how to remove them:

It's quite a shock that Netflix is missing the boat. Back to the Future is one of the most popular trilogies in film history. It spawned a wildly popular landmark ride at Universal Studios for a great number of years. They even did a parody of it on the short-lived and obscure cartoon, Walter Melon in which Doc and Marty get a speeding ticket and Walter musty replace them. And what about those parodies on Family Guy? Do they mean nothing to you, Netflix?

Oh well, at least they have Alien. Imagine watching the Alien burst out of John Hurt's stomach... in 1080p HD.


Alien was a groundbreaking film, the first from director Ridley Scott. Sigourney Weaver played Ellen Ripley in all four films spanning 1979-1997. The original came out at a time when Star Wars was all the rage... before it was all rage. There had never been a sci-fi film like it -- dark, suspenseful, taking itself quite seriously. It was more like a horror movie than the typical science fiction film.

The next film, 1986's Aliens, was directed by James Cameron and involved Ripley and a cyborg trying to stop the Alien from sinking the Titanic on faraway Pandora. Both Alien and Aliens are highly revered in the same way as the first two Godfather films.

I guess I'll look for Back to the Future at Blockbuster before it goes out of business.

— Hardy McTakeTheBus

Howard Beale.jpg
I'm as mad as hell!   Is shit pissing you off? Have a hatchet to grind? If so, simply create a new UnNews article, but don't create a new shitty article.