UnNews:Stars unite for ultimate charity single

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Neil Young's shaky tenor graces the charity single, "Wake Up America." All proceeds benefit the Make UnNews Funny Again Foundation.

Several of music's greatest aging rockers have come together for two causes:

One: To tell America to get its act together after the recent shootings in Baton Rouge, St. Paul, and Dallas.

Two: To make UnNews funny again after a year of celebrity deaths, mass shootings, terrorism, and Donald Trump.

"Enough is enough," says Neil Young, one of dozens of legends who have lent their voice to the new charity single, "Wake Up America," released Friday on Young's Reprise Records (a subsidiary of Warner Bros.).

"Nothing is funny anymore. You turn on the news, or visit UnNews, and all it is is wackos with guns, wackos like Trump trying to destroy America. The Second Amendment is obsolete and should be abolished, but nobody's doing anything about gun control. We've got a problem and nobody's man enough to fix it."

Sting, clearly sick of having to do charity singles every thirty years.

"I concur," interjects Elton John, another vocalist on the track. "A shame, it is, that America, and the world, has come to this."

Two similar songs have already been released to raise awareness of gun violence: "Hands" featuring artists such as Britney Spears, Halsey, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Lopez, Troye Sivan, Meghan Trainor among many others; and Victoria Monet's "Better Days" featuring Ariana Grande. But the charity single veterans featured on "Wake Up America" say that this will be the last.

"We'll never go another charity single again," says Sting, "or at least for free. As Cuba Gooding Jr. once said, 'Show me the money.'"

The track features John, Young, Sting, Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd legend David Gilmour, UnNews's own PF4Eva and Leverage, Uncyclopedia's own BENSON, Mr. Winkler, Tom Petty, Bono, and a few surprises.

Listen to the song below in MP3 format. The high-resolution Pono version of the track was to be made available also, but Pono's content prodiver, Omifone, was recently bought out and Pono is seeking a replacement in the coming weeks. (And that version would have far exceeded 10MB anyway.)

"Wake Up America, a song for UnNews"

All proceeds from this song will go to the Make UnNews Funny Again Foundation.

What’s happened to the world?

Every day’s a new kind of hate

When you resort to using guns

You give a person grounds to blate

Pre-chorus:

Why does it have to be this way?

The world ain’t had a laugh in days

Chorus:

Wake up, America

It seems your country’s gone to wack

But Hillary Clinton has your shoulder

And Bernie Sanders has your back

Wake up, America

Before you become too insane

Wake up, America

Or Amerexit will become Ameremain

America, put down your guns!

And make the world a lot more fun!

Don’t vote for no Republican

Who wants to give you all more guns

Pre-chorus:

Wake up and smell the fire

And watch the news once in a while

Chorus

Chorus:

Wake up, America

(Wake up America!)

It seems your country’s gone astray

(It seems your country's gone astray!)

But Hillary Clinton has your shoulder

(But Hillary Clinton has your shoulder!)

And Bernie Sanders has your back

(And Bernie Sanders has your back!)

Wake up, America

(Wake up America!)

Before you become too insane

(Before you become to insane!)

Wake up, America

(Wake up America!)

Or Amerexit will become Ameremain

(Or Amerexit will become Ameremain)

Bridge:

What else can we say?

The world has gone astray

To be honest, we’ve ran out of lyrics

We won’t do the next charity single for free, you’ll have to pay

Chorus:

Wake up, America

It seems your country’s gone astray-hay-hay-hay

But Hillary Clinton has your shoulder

And Bernie Sanders has your ba-ha-ha-hack

Chorus

Wake up, America

It seems your country’s gone astray

But Hillary Clinton has your shoulder

And Bernie Sanders has your back

Wake up, America

Before you become too insane

Wake up, America

Or Amerexit will become Ameremain

Chorus:

(Wake up America!)

Wake up, America

(Nope-a gun-gun style)

It seems your country’s gone astray

(Can't touch this gun)

But Hillary Clinton has your shoulder

(Wake up America)

And Bernie Sanders has your back

(And Bernie Sanders has your back in black!)

Wake up, America

(Nice, Nice, baby! Ice is back!)

Before you become too insane

Wake up, America

Or Amerexit will become Ameremain

Chorus/fade out