User:TheHumbucker/Talk Page Archive 1

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Hello, TheHumbucker, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 04:45, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

I saw you needed help[edit]

So here I am. Anyway, in addition to what ever Zombiebaron tells you, read this and this. For any other help go here. Lastly, you can make any test edits here. If there's anything els you need just ask. --Wanna see a magic trick? 02:21, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks! I'd already read the pages (some sections a couple of times), but I think I might be starting to get the hang of this. I'm a comedy writer, not a computer person; I think that it's my lack of code knowledge that's keeping me back. I created a sub-page so I could have basically my own sandbox to keep code I'll use later, but some of the code I put there (categories, esp.) make it appear in searches, which can't be good. Aside from that, I guess I'm worried of making a mistake in an article that I can't fix. Example: I'm on the Proofread list, doing this article. The caption under the picture at the top right makes me think the author wants it centered. I switched the code from "chevron-center" to "pipe-center" and it worked, but the spacing got all screwed up, so I'm just... going to leave it. What can I do that's minimally invasive, but that lets me be all hands on with the code so I learn? --TheHumbucker 05:15, February 16, 2011 (UTC)
Hmm... Minimally invasive, but that lets you be all hands on with the code so you learn... Well, You could try to design your signature. That usually uses lots of code. You may also want to read this, this and anything listed here. I know it's a lot of reading, but it'll pay off in the end. --Wanna see a magic trick? 14:58, February 18, 2011 (UTC)


It just so happens that my last noob managed to free himself from the cellar and escape so I have room for one more. If you're still interested, paste the code below on your userpage and move your things in to the cellar. Don't worry about the matress, those stains are probably dry by now. --John Lydon 14:21, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

Yeth, mathter  
--TheHumbucker 21:56, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

I'm just going to make a section where I answer your questions[edit]

1) The license is a tricky one, but I think you did the right thing on your sig. You can also use the unknown license if you're ever in doubt. Uncyc claims a fair use policy so it's not really a matter of law suits or anything, more about giving credit where credit is due. 2) I can't remember for certain, but I'm thinking it takes a few days for your account to get autoconfirmed so you can move pages and qvfd things. In the meantime, if you want something tossed out, you can always hit up an admin and explain that you are still a simple peon and you want something deleted. Alternatively, you can just wait a while and eventually one of the creepy sewer dwelling members will come by and notice that the images are not being used and whisk it away to never be seen again. Totally your call. --John Lydon 13:17, February 17, 2011 (UTC)

One more thing: Instead of saving all that annoying code in your sandbox, just save this link in your favorites bar. --John Lydon 13:21, February 17, 2011 (UTC)

Hot damn, that link saves time! Thanks! ~ Humbuck.png Talk 17:34, February 17, 2011 (UTC)

Next question: How should I go about editing articles? I came across the Existentialism article and was really disappointed with it, so I rewrote it, but it got changed back to the previous version in like 5 minutes and I felt a bit like an ass, esp. because I dropped the ball providing a summary of my edit (whoops). But I still don't think the article delivers. Someone else suggested a good rewrite on the talk page, but also that his change got reverted, too. Do I get in touch with the author of the article, let the whole situation go and find something else to edit, or get some breakfast? ~ Humbuck.png Talk 15:27, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

  • Check the history and see who's reverting your edits. In this case it looks to be the work of the infamous Socky. Just drop him a line on his talk page asking why he reverted your changes. In this case, it's pretty obvious. You basically blanked a page. If you want to revise an article, always use your sandbox to build the article and then you can copy and paste into the main space or move it to the main space (when you get that feature.)--John Lydon 14:08, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Alright, I've covered editing articles, how about judging them? After I proofread that article for the Comma Brigade I put a "fix" tag on it because it I thought it Wasn't Funny, Just Stupid (section 6). Since then I've run across many other pages that are just like it - full of shit, penis and sex jokes put in for cheap laughs (what I'd call "blue humor") - but none of them had fix tags or anything suggesting a rewrite. Naturally, now I feel insecure about putting the fix tag on an article written by someone being considered for Writer of the Month (kind of like my stupid edit on the article written by the user who's going to win Writer of the Month). I sure know how to make friends fast. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 16:50, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

I have found that gradual substitutions raises fewer hackles than wholesale deletions, at least as an initial strategy. For example, tackle that "blue humor" by figuring out what the underlying joke is and trying to replace it with wording that tells the same joke cleverly rather than shockingly. That will show spectators where you're coming from, and they may eventually cede to you custody of the article (which is a very mixed blessing). Spıke ¬ 17:14 22-Feb-11
Or you could tag them all. Seriously. *kitty eyes* I'll try to protect you if people get annoyed, but then again, most people already hate me for doing similar things, so... er... maybe what Spike says really is a better idea. >.< 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 17:22, 22 February 2011
I'd suggest just diving right in. If you get reverted, either question it or move on. You may get reverted if you tinker with an already featured article, but so many pages on the wiki are pure wholesale garbage that any improvement is welcome. Penis jokes are common, and you will be sucked into them after awhile, that's the long and short of it, come what may. Good to meet you, and that's a great sig thing. Aleister 18:39 22-2-'11
I think the nuts and bolts of the issue is What would be better for the site? Gradual substitutions and slow takeovers are effective, but would be ridiculously slow with so many articles. Tagging, on the other hand, would raise hackles and generally piss people off, but the blue (can I say bad?) articles would begin disappearing after the tag expired and the article came up for deletion or the author just reverts. Constant tinkering, however, would inevitably get the writer ticked, though. Looking long term, I'd think that we'd see A) People up in arms in the forums about what makes a good article, which would be a tough situation, but probably good for article quality and therefore the site in the long run and B) The people who write generally bad (sorry, couldn't help it) articles would stop writing, which is a good thing? I can be the bad guy if you need one, but if I rock the boat, there will be waves to deal with, and I don't want to really screw things up in my first week here. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 17:53, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
Please don't be shy about jumping right in. You may get feedback if you try to take out all the fucks and shits and "Please suck me Virgin Mary" things, but lots of them are, like I said, garbage. The line between funny blue humour and just stupid is different for everyone, and that's where people like Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, Joan Rivers, and many more of the oldies had to push the envelope so the rest of us can play in there (and Funnybony had a great description for this site, "a playground for adults", and maybe one of the best such playgrounds on the internet). So meet people, write good stuff, sneak up on someone and set their page on fire, do whatever you think you want to do and the chips will fall down where they may sometimes. It's good you are serious about concerns, yet those concerns can also hinder your happiness and playfulness here. So go to that Virgin Mary page, change anything you want, and don't ever look at it again (because you will be reverted a minute later, but if you don't know that you will be happy for doing so the rest of thou days). Aleister 18:02 22-2-'11
I agree with everything Al just said. And to be fair, the thing you said about WotM, even the best writers write crappy articles from time to time. --Wanna see a magic trick? 19:39, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, Someone get me a pair of waders I'll book a dumpster Someone call Mike Rowe Where can I find a Haz-Mat suit? Sign me up for the Witness Protection Program Fuck it I'm going in. Is that a brownie?Humbuck.png Talk 20:47, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
Great! 0_o PARTY! CUNT PICKLES!!! There's a French ship off starboard, sir. Has anyone seen my toupee? *Dies* Double rainbow all the way across the sky! MTFBWY --Wanna see a magic trick? 21:45, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
What are all you people doing in my basement??!!! As for you Noob, listen to these guys and gals. They don't know what they're talking about but they have friends in high places and some of the best drugs available this side of Amsterdam. Also, those stains are not going to remove themselves from the pits of my American Idol T-Shirt! Get to work!!!! --John Lydon 13:36, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

So... I just learned from the UnSignPost that I was, apparently, banned 3 days ago. How much else in the UnSignPost tends not to be entirely true? ~ Humbuck.png Talk 18:05, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

Ahhh..... the old username template joke. Pretty much anytime you see your name pop up in a random spot, it's the username template at work. --John Lydon 18:36, February 24, 2011 (UTC)
God damn it. I can't believe I didn't think of that. I've seen it a bunch of places and didn't buy it. Touche. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 18:42, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

User:TheHumbucker/University of New Hampshire[edit]

A very good start. I did the article on New Hampshire and am watching with interest from fifteen miles away. Spıke ¬ 01:20 20-Feb-11

Most awesome. I'll definitely be making a few references to your article, especially on the later drafts. I'm assuming you've seen the Granite State of Mind video? ~ Humbuck.png Talk 05:18, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

PS--"School-cruft" is a hated genre and, if done poorly, there are a dozen authors willing to bring the page to Votes for Deletion for a Final Solution. (I recently resurrected Michigan Tech, whose unique claim to fame is its near-arctic climate.) Be sure that, whatever allure your article has for UNH students, it is also accessible and entertaining to people who don't know anything about UNH, and that it explains (starting early on) why the random bystander should care. Avoid the triteness of saying things about your institution that any student might say about his: Comparing the administration to Nazis or belittling the student body in generic ways. Spıke ¬ 17:19 22-Feb-11

Totally. Right now it's still 1st draft, so I'm just spilling everything that comes to mind onto the page, making it all either personal rantings or random crap. I'm very much in the vein of "Write for yourself, rewrite for others," so it might even a waste of time to check in on the article unless you see a Draft 2 or 3 on the summary page. Thanks for the input, though ~ Humbuck.png Talk 17:31, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Thousands of Egyptians call Gov. Walker "tyrant," flee Wisconsin[edit]

So you do UnNewses too?! This is excellent--reads like news, takes two very current stories from the real news and grinds them together in a humor crucible and seasons them with clever writing. It gets the 1-Spot on today's Front Page. Spıke ¬ 01:43 24-Feb-11

Thanks! It was fun - I think I might be hooked. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 04:48, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignnull pointer exception[edit]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 07:44, 24 February 2011

UnNews:Republicans get behind equine contraception[edit]

I shortened the headline on this one, and eliminated the excess capital letters, per our style. (It's in UnNews:Style--also read the note from the Chief. In particular, I saved words by not disclosing your final zinger--that contraception for horses will come at the expense of contraception for women. If you disagree, just add it back, if you can do so tersely. Spıke ¬ 23:52 24-Feb-11

How about taking out the word equine too? Having women in the headline zings it to the Republicans, which should be done thrice daily before getting out of bed. Aleister 23:55 24-2-'11

You will have to excuse our award-winning writer, who is on a personal crusade to prevent the return of slavery and child labor in Wisconsin. He would prefer that the UnNews begin, "Fucking Republicans." As a compromise, we could eliminate all the words. Spıke ¬ 23:59 24-Feb-11

PS--"Congress backs horse pill" is plenty tight. Spıke ¬ 00:00 25-Feb-11

"Congress backs bill for horse contraception" is slightly longer, but still only takes a line of UnNews' Latest News section, so win. Plus, it's anti-government rather than anti-GOP, so jives with my anti-everything-equally tone, doesn't alienate readers with an aggressive tagline, and keeps "contraception" in the title, which is not only fun for everyone, but also draws the reader's eye to the story and instills the always useful "wtf" reaction - though maybe not as well as "condoms." Hmmm... ~ Humbuck.png Talk 01:29, February 25, 2011 (UTC) Now onto the Advocacy posting.

As you like. However, a couple days ago, I got Kip the Dip to delete "Ideological" from in front of "civil war," though it stayed on in the VFH vote. "Contraception" is a long word, and one expression of WTF is to simply click on something else. Spıke ¬ 01:33 25-Feb-11

“Female horses, or mares, should not be subjected to the horrors of a forced pregnancy.”

~ Attributed to Rep. Burton in your UnNews

“I am going to teach [my daughters] first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby.”

~ Obama, a real quote harped on by the right

Feel like changing the quote and putting a little Obama in your UnNews? Spıke ¬ 02:43 25-Feb-11

Um, yes please. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 03:57, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Forgive me for tweaking this again. Actually quoting Obama saying something he actually said, is the delight of an UnNews that reports the exact truth but just misinterprets it, and allows for the additional interpretation that the UnNews reporter is the only crazy one in the room. Spıke ¬ 12:36 25-Feb-11


I noticed some of your work, are you interested in joining the grue army? apply here Gen. Fudgem0bile Save money by killing hookers. 04:02, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Sure, I'd be interested. Looking at the squads, I guess I've already done some of the stuff the Twin Suns do, so why not get paid for it? We get paid, don't we? ~ Humbuck.png Talk 04:46, February 25, 2011 (UTC)


I nominated you for NotM, go vote for yourself Gen. Fudgem0bile Save money by killing hookers. 04:07, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Hey, thanks. I got some catching up to do. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 04:49, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews[edit]

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, TheHumbucker, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
Damn, you caught me on my way out of UnNews to try out the rest of the buffet that is Uncyclopedia. I'll be back soon, though ~ Humbuck.png Talk 15:55, February 25, 2011 (UTC)


did You put a {{vfd}} template on Gamecruft and not have the Article on VFD? - I'm not just another n00b...oh wait, I am. LOL vandalz

Further, I've read your discussions about categorizing Uncyclopedia pages with a view toward identifying truly crappy ones. You have barely started to contribute; they are fine contributions, but crusading against substandard stuff might be premature. (Insert here your favorite sarcastic joke about what UNH alumni tend to do when they reach the Real World and find it messy and unreformed.) Spıke ¬ 23:55 25-Feb-11
Poop on a stick. Go forth and categorize and find. Do what you want to do. When and if you do something to make someone squawk, that will be the time for this discussion. Wander, explore, but don't go into hentai, for there be dragons. Aleister 00:01 26-2-'22
Aww... must you guys go and ruin my dreams of the utter demolition of Uncyclopedia? Must you?! 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 00:42, 26 February 2011
Then again, I thought you meant categorize, not template all up. The best way to uproot crappy articles is to VFD them, and then some of them actually get saved. SPIKE has saved many many many pages, and I saved maybe three. It feels good to uproot, but planting seeds when you do never hurts. Aleister 00:53 26-2-'11

Oh, and if you do tag pages - understand exactly what the templates do. {{VFD}} is for articles which you nominate on VFD (which should be over a week old) - don't use the template unless you add an entry there and visa versa. But if an article is under a week old, then use {{ICU}}, following the directions on the page. Don't use the sub-templates by themselves, though; that's not what they're for, though if a new article is too crappy, just add it to qVFD instead. Then there are the fun ones, which work on any aged articles... {{ugly}} for ones with major formatting issues, or if they just plain look bad, you found {{expand}} and {{fix}}... {{AAP}} for ones that just need pictures... a whole lot of others I don't even know anything about...

...perhaps Spike is right; it is a little soon to get into this, at least as any primary project. Watching what others tag, doing reviews, voting on VFD and seeing how other people vote and what ultimately gets kept and not, writing your own stuff, even eating cake may all prove useful in the long run, both for this and for other endeavours, however. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 02:04, 26 February 2011

Indeed I did not mean to dictate chapter-and-verse to you, on which I am neither an authority nor an expert, but rather how to endear yourself to a new "community"--namely, not by setting out to reform it at the end of your first week. Spıke ¬ 02:08 26-Feb-11
I was driving home earlier this evening and had that sudden and crushing realization that I am being an asshole by thinking I know what's wrong and how to fix it after a week. To quote myself, "Fuck." ~ Humbuck.png Talk 03:51, February 26, 2011 (UTC)
Meh, there is hope for you yet, and gorrammit, will this stupid laptop stop not accepting my apostrophes?! GRRR! Ill hurt you, laptop! AAAGH! 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 03:55, 26 February 2011


For the review Humby! I'm very new here and t'was my 1st review.. I guess I should leave some sort of irreverent image on your page as thanks.. Talk JelloMold Talk 19:23, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

there ya go! Talk JelloMold Talk 19:24, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
No prob. I'm also fairly new here and t'was my 1st review. Thanks for the pic of the... uh... cream covered, pompom-topped mushroom hat wearing, sad-eyed, ball of jade? ~ Humbuck.png Talk 02:42, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
Jello you have the weirdest penis I've ever seen. (Also, you can change the size of the pic by adding another | then the number of pixels you want the base to be i.e. 150px) Jackofspades.png (talk) 02:51, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
Yes, the picture of your penis is too big. Please make it smaller or decrease the number of pixels. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 03:41, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Lohan makes TV debut, handcuffs missing[edit]

Good concept and very well-written. Could use a more terse first paragraph or an additional "lead" sentence to make it look more like a news story. Whether or not, it's in the 1-Spot. (Saw it last night and added it to the list on the Uncyclopedia main page, but had just changed the Front Page and thought it could wait until the morning.) Spıke ¬ 13:02 1-Mar-11

UnNews:Pittsburgh Pirates forfeit season[edit]

I removed two words from the headline (shown above) (and edited your user page accordingly), minced some words in the text, then recorded an audio version. You are now listed in UnNews:UnNewsAudio#Other writers whose stuff got broadcast. If the US flag is not appropriate, please edit your entry. I omitted other stuff from the text in the audio version; you can align the text if it sounds better or leave it as is. Spıke ¬ 03:01 2-Mar-11

PS--Thanks for your vote for interim Admin; but as I have declined the nomination, you are free to reassign it. Spıke ¬ 03:49 2-Mar-11

PPS--Well, now, I see you have denoted this story on your user page as (Front Page). In fact, more than half the stories turn into graphics on the Front Page (statistics at UnNews:Newsroom) and yours didn't yet, though I'll think about the best of the overnight tomorrow morning, and I did enjoy it enough to record it. Funnybony, too, documents the "Front Page" honor and I have teased him about that. Separately, though, in not giving your photo a caption, you missed the chance to tell one more joke. Spıke ¬ 05:02 2-Mar-11

The audio was an unexpected treat, muchos gracias, and made me realize that I tend to be a little wordy. As for editing, do what you want to it - if you step on something that I feel really needs to be there, I'll let you know. And I was literally just asking if the "front page" statistics on UnNews meant being pictured or just there on the Main Page when I got edit conflicted. (And hopefully I'll have a good caption tomorrow. I pulled a blank writing it) ~ Humbuck.png Talk 05:08, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

Roger on that undo; Anon appends to the story's funniest line some random extra gallows humor which, if any thing, argues that the season just forfeit would have been a little tolerable. Spıke ¬ 13:16 3-Mar-11

UnNews:Gadhafi blames unrest on Al-Qaeda, global warming, etc.[edit]

Can't stay away can you?! This is a veritable index to past UnNewses. Last year, before the Big Format Change, we used to have Specialty Indexes such as UnNews:2010 Oil Spill and a garish Navigation Bar with which to reach them all. Your story, unfortunately, is the third or fourth that blurs Gadhafi with Charlie Sheen. By the way, I bumped you out of the 1-Spot as I was on the computer within 5 minutes of the news on the Supreme Court decision and was enthused to do a rendition of something that just happened, but the Pirates are now back on the Front Page for a while. Spıke ¬ 01:00 3-Mar-11

I noticed I was beaten to the punch by several people (I think the story I cited was from 2.24) but figured I'd try a difference perspective and put it out there anyway. Not my best, though; I'll make up for it with my next "study". ~ Humbuck.png Talk 01:09, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

It's in the 5-Spot now, as the picture is fun and the lead didn't need much help. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 02:06 3-Mar-11

All the UnSignpost you ever wanted[edit]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 16:08, 3 March 2011

UnNews:Study: Blueberries actually just peas holding their breath[edit]

I led with this today--as I am looking forward to having it quickly drop down to the 4-Spot and go side-by-side with Pork Chops--but it is missing something. You've got a single clever concept--peas do resemble blueberries--then pulled in all the usual directions: extraterrestrials (a concept that actually contradicts the headline), snappy dialogue, political activism, faction versus faction, then plaintiff versus defendant. It needs something unifying it, perhaps an undercurrent of allegory to something in the real world.

Separately, you are providing interpretation--"In a groundbreaking discovery" "News of this sort has, naturally, made for some interesting stories." (The latter is a double-shot.) You may have read a lot of bad journalism, where the cub reporter leads with his own opinion, but I am hoping for UnNews to be a satire of good journalism, where he doesn't. (This is another Ignorable Policy: If you want to slather it on thick and make an opinionated reporter part of an article's joke, that would be fine.) Spıke ¬ 11:50 5-Mar-11

UnNews:Local grandmother finally uses printer‎[edit]

Finally got the two food articles side-by-side. I was working on the Huckabee story at the same time, and give myself the 1-Spot; The Onion is willing to shatter the impression that it is a real news source with "local grandmother" stories, but as Zim ulator so often insists, we ain't The Onion. However, I did nominate your great story for featuring on the Uncyclopedia main page. Spıke ¬ 00:14 7-Mar-11


Urinating fountain.jpg

I just peed on something you wrote. I apologize profusely for that.

I'll attempt to control my bladder in the future. No promises though

What a great article. Blue peas. Hahaha. Jackofspades.png (talk) 04:39, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the review. I incorporated some of your suggestions like fixing the awkward sentences and making the picture bigger, but left some of the bigger fixes out until I get some more time to do them. My overuse of quotes is something that I've been noticing already, and it really bothers me that I tend to use them in the same places in the story, too, like right after the lead sentence/paragraph. This is an article that I think I'll be revisiting in the future (when I started it I had like 6 possible places to take it and settled on the alien spore thing) so this review will also be useful for then, too. Thanks again. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 12:55, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

And again[edit]

I reviewed your thingy. Although the way it was set up my template wouldn't work which makes me sad :(. Jackofspades.png (talk) 01:04, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks again for a great (and fast!) review. Great catch on the politics and keeping it strictly about business/corporations. I kept the Old Spice line where it was simply because I couldn't find another place for it, but enlarged the picture and made an effort to add to the little jokes, or what I call "interior decoration." Now that's 2 of my articles you've reviewed in under 24 hours. Take a break. Go read something good for a change, like David Sedaris or something. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 04:45, March 8, 2011 (UTC)
Yes, well I choose my articles in a very strict fashion. First, I look at all of the current Pees. Then I click a few that have interesting titles. Then I go "Do I want to do this one?" and keep doing that till I guilt myself into doing one. Jackofspades.png (talk) 07:46, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:New 9/11 video inspires advertisers[edit]

Great concept! I minced words in the headline, as shown above. Wish you would mince a lot of words in the story. The lead paragraph provides much too much real-world background; it should be tight and rush the reader into the upcoming humor. Pay close attention to not reporting on the moods of your characters; let their words tell the message.

The picture tells the story, if you look at it for a moment--it would tell it more clearly if there were perhaps an airliner flying into one of the bottles--but a better illustration would show the resulting crass commercialism, perhaps a still from the video with a Disney character in front holding a package of something.

The final paragraph, with Bush saying "They tried to change our way of life, and they failed," is a great way to end the article, but with perhaps a clearer illustration that they did change his way of life. Spıke ¬ 13:23 8-Mar-11

I still tend to run wordy - I've been trying to cut back on it, but I guess I just like to listen to myself talk. I'll try to experiment in one of my next few articles. As for the pic, if I had the skill to change it, I might, but I think I like how it's an actual ad. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 20:52, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

OK. Except for the photo, I tugged the story in the directions suggested above and it's now in the 3-Spot. Spıke ¬ 20:56 8-Mar-11

Alrite Humby[edit]

loved the blueberry article, had probably the best title I've ever seen on here. I'd give a full review but the good lord gave me blue screen a week ago and my laptop's f*cked :( Talk JelloMold Talk 15:24, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

No problem. Don't think of it as you owe me one, though; just try giving about as many Pee Reviews as ye receive. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 21:04, March 8, 2011 (UTC)


Hey dude. Thanks for the review. It really had some good pointers, and doesn't make me want to insult your mom in anyway. So, just like to say thanks. -User:BobNewbieI have a talking zombie 06:56, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

No problem. If you have any other questions just ask. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 14:43, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
I'll be sure to do so. ---User:BobNewbieI have a talking zombie 14:52, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Owner of Shell Oil buys Prius, gas prices rise[edit]

Ooh! topical! It leads. Spıke ¬ 19:28 9-Mar-11

UnSignpost: March 10th, 2011[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 03:13, March 10, 2011 (UTC)


Hey! You're good. Every month there will be a user that will make harder for Neopowell to be Noob of the Month. Will you people stop being good and let that man have his first award? Also congrats for the featured article. --~ Mimo.gifMimomaxus.gifMaxus.gif 16:01, March 11, 2011 (UTC)


Thanks dude. Here ya go. Good luck with your UnNews. ---User:BobNewbieI have a talking zombie 18:09, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

AdminBots presents: The UnSignpost[edit]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 05:13, 17 March 2011

UnNews:Wisconsin judge: "Ummm, no."[edit]

I rewrote this entirely, finding that the near-truth was funnier than a treatment of bipartisan goofiness. If you'd like, I'll revert these changes and publish them separately. Your original text also snuck Scott Brown into the story, as well as the state of Michigan, and twice referred to that neglected branch of government (the judiciary) as the legislature. Spıke ¬ 07:44 19-Mar-11

Huh. I didn't know you could rewrite an article six and a half hours after its creation. Back in my day, we had categories for that.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 08:03 Mar 19, 2011
There were a couple of errors that tend to sneak in when I write on the dark side of a coffee high (MI vs. IL, legislative vs. judicial), but I thought the rewrite was a bit extreme. TKF seems to have rectified it, but this would be one of those incidents I mentioned earlier about editing something I want (in this case, the article). No hurt feelings, just now you know where my toes are and not to tread on them. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 17:01, March 19, 2011 (UTC)

The parallel-articles solution works, as it will any time there is such a disagreement. Cheers for playing your article down-the-middle, but the mutual baby talk, in my opinion, squanders the real-world absurdities only slightly less than if you had made Walker and Sumi both grues with laz0r eyes. I finished up late last night by picking a different photo and cutting the last ties with your version.

Still don't know exactly where your toes are. Funnybony sometimes bangs out an UnNews without a comedy theme and is happy when I install one. Your factual errors made me think that yours was perhaps a quick first draft submitted to seek refinement--then my different comedy taste took over. At any rate, all is well. Spıke ¬ 19:42 19-Mar-11

If you feel like you can apply a different comic style to an event, then write a separate article. I feel like "total rewrite of something I just made" is where most people's toes will tend to draw the line. Also, kudos to your toes for learning how to draw. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 22:24, March 19, 2011 (UTC)
I call bias on SPIKE, bless his heart, who argued with me about the Madison Movement until I did an end-around him while he was sleeping or something equally as useless and wrote about the 5-year old, then got that featured with the help of Dexter and Mrthejazz. So I'd say put it back to where it was B.S. (Before SPIKE) and guard it with shotgun and dogs. Aleister 22:56 19-3-'11

Aleister, Froggy did exactly put it back to where it was (with editorial corrections) and my article is now separate. Both these Judge Sumi articles make both sides look foolish. 23:00 PS--Now visit the Newsroom for something really important. Spıke ¬ 23:02 19-Mar-11


For your vote on Viking Metal, I'm glad you liked it. The page was from the Happy Monkey contest, and when I got the topic I felt "Damn, I can't do a page on the music. What twist is possible?" and there was the Viking Metal Fashion Show. It seems a long time ago that it was written, but it was only four years ago tomorrow! Thanks again, Aleister 00:55 23-3-'11

I have to admit, I did not know there was such a thing as the Viking Metal Fashion Show. Makes the article that much better.
Your twist was really surprising: I read the story thinking how I would've done something like it being a music genre that would've led the Vikings to a world takeover, had they known about it, and suddenly I'm reading "Black is the new pink." Well done. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 03:50, March 23, 2011 (UTC)


1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 10:13, 24 March 2011

This is your UnSignpost speaking[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:15, 31 March 2011

You win[edit]

Noob of the Moment Award Noob of the Moment March 2011

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 00:38, April 1, 2011 (UTC)

Foolitzer Prize Award Foolitzer Prize Winner March 2011

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:45, 1 April 2011

Football Thanks[edit]

No problem. I knew I was going to vote for that when I saw it going through Pee Review.~ Humbuck.png Talk 03:49, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Terribly creative UnSignpost header[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:26, 7 April 2011

UnNews:Study: That thing in the sky is the moon[edit]

A fine piece of writing. Now, what's it doing in UnNews? It has nothing to do with the news, it really has nothing to do with studies, it's not written like news, it is another first-person article mainly about the author's own reactions, just like our notorious Testicle UnNews. Spıke ¬ 22:22 9-Apr-11

And don't forget mine! --Wanna see a magic trick? 22:30, April 9, 2011 (UTC)

A very apt comparison. At least you know it was nothing personal. Spıke ¬ 22:50 9-Apr-11

I know; it's more of a magazine article than anything. Unfortunately, we don't have an UnNational Geographic, so I put it in UnNews. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 23:02, 9 April 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Michigan supreme court votes in favor of rapper[edit]

Congrats on the main-page feature! I never figured out how to do a graphic for this on the UnNews Front Page, an oversight I have just remedied. You have the 1-Spot today. Spıke ¬ 01:16 12-Apr-11

Awesome. Cheers! ~ Humbuck.png Talk 03:23, 14 April 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: On-time and on top of things... as always.[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:59, 14 April 2011

On What the Hell is this all about?[edit]

Hey, I'm part American too, and I already sign my posts (some of the time, at least), as far back as 2007, and we were chatting about my personal history. He sent me a message, and I was just replying, that's "what the hell" this is all about, I'll just post this on your talk page, just to help make me a tad more clear. -Canadian Man, from Kinnikuman, who before time began, in 2007, wrote Something

what people are meaning when they say sign your posts is to put ~~~~ at the end of your last line. Even Greenlanders are doing it. Well if they ever sign up. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 04:02, April 17, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for putting this here, too, but I'm going to reply on Lollipop's talk page just to keep the conversation in one place. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 04:04, 17 April 2011 (UTC)

Huh?I already put it up on here, but I WILL also put it up here, International Batman is Gay Day, I also put in another example John Goodman. Neither of them has been deleted. -CANADIAN MAN, still from Kinnikuman, also from freaking Mars.

Also, if you read this, I did manage to find it again quickly, just setting things straight, as I have easily done here, as well as with other people at other places, and if you still have a beef with me about this, A: sorry, B: then communicate it with me privately or some shit, also, just as a Just to smegging be on the smegging safe side, International Batman is Gay Day.

...Also, I don't give a shit about much of anything at this point, except to just explain, and if someone (like you) needs a link, I can at least put it up some of the time, I could do many things, that included, for a long time, long before I came on Uncyclopedia (a long time ago, atill around '07, or at least within the last decade or three)

Alright, I'm giving you a lot of slack here, so don't push your luck; I see that you've been editing since at least April 11, 2007, so you should know to sign your posts and how to do it, that you sign your posts on talk pages, not on your edits to articles (like it sounds you intend to do on other pages you've edited), how to link to other pages in text, and that this is about as privately as we can communicate on this site. If this is the message that is making all of this commotion, I agree, you have a right to be upset. But this is not how to deal with it. You've got a couple of users stepping in to work this out but getting sarcastic and pissy isn't making me want to help you. It's obvious that Lollipop either isn't online or is just hiding, so there's nothing anyone can do to completely resolve the issue so let's step it back a notch and cool off, okay?
Now, is this the only things that's been going on, or is there more? If there's something else involved in this problem, copy the URL and paste it between a single bracket to let me know about it and I'll see what I can do. And then use four tildes to sign your post (adding text to the end of your post like it's a handwritten letter doesn't cut it). ~ Humbuck.png Talk 05:03, 17 April 2011 (UTC)

Chill, I've just been explaining it, and if it's him hiding *shrugs*, then I at least explained things fairly well on my end. Since you explained things at fucking least coherently, and since whether or not I have a right to doesn't matter, I'll give you a thumbs up, you're fucking awesome compared to too many other dipshits in the world. And I wasn't being pissy, but sarcastic? You've gotten that thing about me right, difficult when you haven't talked with me for at least years, which, along with the fact that I've been getting good at the sarcasm thing, makes me (grateful) glad you noticed. Thanks for not just making shit up about me, and I was already planning to stop for at least several half-hours in advance, so I'm going to go and take a bath.

...And unless I've had Alzheimer's for the last several or three years, no, there hasn't been more, and even if you're giving me a lot of slack here, fine, I've been giving Lollipop a lot of slack too, and have been barely pissed off, too (again, the sarcastic "somehow" still applies.

Thank you for not just making up bullshit about me like any anonymous dipshit on the internet would, and I'm still off to take that bath of mine, maybe two...

...The Mortal (When the fuck was I anything other than just a Mortal?) Meteo

P.S. If there's still anything I need to let you know about, I will (and still probably hold in my temper (the "somehow" part still applies)

UnNews:New measures taken to keep air traffic controllers awake[edit]

Above the fold! Thank you! Spıke ¬ 02:25 18-Apr-11

UnNews:Unrest in Syria, nobody cares[edit]

First article I have ever seen to make the "nobody cares" angle not be trite. I need a second photo to do a graphic of this, as the one you've got will be useless when reduced to a Front Page thumbnail. Spıke ¬ 02:26 20-Apr-11

Found something to use. This article too was in the 1-Spot recently. Spıke ¬ 12:44 21-Apr-11
Sorry about the delay; I was in the car for most of yesterday and couldn't get online until now. Good choice on the image tho, I think I would've done a picture of a broken pencil, but yours gets the job done, and probably better. Thanks. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 14:02, 21 April 2011 (UTC)

That UnSignposty thing[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:20, 21 April 2011

UnNews:Encyclopædia Dramatica ends undramatically, world celebrates[edit]

You in da lead. But it would read more like news if you would give names to your "interviewees." Spıke ¬ 22:30 22-Apr-11

True, I just had trouble giving brains and eyeballs names. Though I guess Iris would've worked... ~ Humbuck.png Talk 22:47, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

PS--The name shown on the Front Page does not mean I renamed your article. I just wanted a chance to trot out an æ. Also, one "news" direction you didn't take it is the mortal threat of a flood of refugees to Uncyclopedia (compare real-world news out of Tunisia). Spıke ¬ 23:02 22-Apr-11

As long as the link on my userpage works I'm cool with it. And is the flood of refugees a "news direction I didn't take," or a "news direction I didn't take yet?" (I really don't know myself, I just felt like awkwardly phrasing that in the form of a question. If I come up with anything good for content I'll definitely pursue it, so thanks for the idea.) ~ Humbuck.png Talk 23:13, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

It was, exactly, an idea, which you are free to use or not; "yet" is always implicit as no page is frozen. When I change a page name, I don't edit the author's user page, but inform him, typically with a new section with the new page name as the section head. For the headline on the graphic, it was shorter to just state the "news" rather than introduce your comedy take on it. Spıke ¬ 23:17 22-Apr-11

PS--EDiot has now renamed you, though he can't suppress the redirect, so the old name still works. Spıke ¬ 00:15 23-Apr-11

UnNews:Armed Forces to change uniforms to accommodate women[edit]

I like it! Am inclined to keep your other story in the 1-Spot for another day as it is closer to the hearts of our alleged readership. I'll give you the oldest other Spot.

However, you might throw a fit if I do everything that needs to be done with the lead paragraph.

  1. Please lead with the lead rather than "After realizing." The fact that someone realizes something is not the news. First sentence needs to be hard-hitting, an indication that the world is not the way you previously thought it was.
  2. Please fix "comprises." The whole comprises (com-prise, together takes) the parts. The Army comprises some number of women, not vice versa.

Cheers. Spıke ¬ 22:40 23-Apr-11

Thanks for the catch. I added a sentence to the beginning to grab the reader rather than just sit passively and changed my abhorrent blasphemy over the word "comprise." I know better.
Also, for what it's worth, I'm liking the new editing style you've got going by putting the things you'd like to see changed here. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 00:15, 24 April 2011 (UTC)

Assertiveness does send a message, which I don't mind receiving. Funnybony, by comparison, does not mind at all when I tug his stuff in a new direction. Just a matter of getting to know one another. Spıke ¬ 00:34 24-Apr-11


10 reasons to thank TheHumbucker

10. You voted for User:Dr. Skullthumper/10 reasons to defrost Frosty on VFH

9. You're pretty cool

8. You participated in rigging one of Uncyclopedia's most sacred voting pages

7. Thus proving that you don't have a frigid sense of humor

6. Except you do since you voted for an article that involved freezing temperatures

5. Not even sure if that was a proper pun anyway

4. Sorry

3. I think I'm running out of numbers here

2. But I just wanted to say

1. Thanks for the vote!


 Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 04:24 Apr 25, 2011

UnSignpost: April 28th, 2011[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 06:29, April 28, 2011 (UTC)


I used your template it is kind of buggy with the start new unnews process. I had to tweak here and there to make it format right. I suggest a lot of <!--c0mment lines to say what to do because I winged it --> I hope you don't mind, but I needed space filled. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:08, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

I expect full citations in APA format.
And as much as I wanted to pop the cork for the template, I'm just happy it's being used. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 01:18, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
I stole your template and put it in the template namespace, as a template that takes parameters. My point is that substing the content of a template completely defeats the purpose of having a template at all, except for in a few special cases, of which this is not one. Now... what was it doing weirdly on UnNews itself, and how might this be remedied on the the template itself? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 01:24, 30 April 2011
The issue is where to place the template within the article. The proto article template is so strream lined for date, town country picture, that the template has to be placed between the lead paragraph and the remaining, for it to format right. Any wiki editor worth her salt, should haven no problem, but it was a whoopsy moment from namespace to main space.--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:49, April 30, 2011 (UTC)
Did a quick alter after looking at how wiki does it. Good? ~ Humbuck.png Talk 03:21, 30 April 2011 (UTC)

Signpost Un[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:18, 5 May 2011

The Signpost is delivered to all God-fearing citizens[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:44, 12 May 2011