Babel:Pathos

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Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister. As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...) Recently featured: Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? Archive · Vote for featured articles · Lies Did you Know? ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured) ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts? ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"? ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap! ... that you've just lost the game? ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured) ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts? ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"? ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap! ... that you've just lost the game? ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured) ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts? ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"? ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap! ... that you've just lost the game? ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured) ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?	Lies recently told In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • M-m-m-Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other Iranian leaders Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (according to Wikipedia) • Avicii (according to Wikipedia) Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico • Smiling Friends On this day nothing happened... March 2: International Genderflip Cartoon Characters Day 1797 - The Bank of England issues the country's first currency to feature a smug, grinning monarch. 1867 - First Reconstruction laws: replaces slavery with "technically-not-slavery", which is not slavery. Technically. 1917 - The people of Puerto Rico are granted U.S. citizenship, to make the colonial exploitation that much more painful. 1946 - President Ho Chi Minh is declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in high school yearbook. 1961 - John F. Kennedy starts the Peace Corps, a secret CIA project to dump potentially troubling bleeding-heart hippies abroad. 1995 - Yahoo! is created, Nintendo immediately sues the site for stealing Mario's orgasm sound. 2017 - Scientists discover a side-effect of watching Guy Fieri (Pictured) marathons on the Food Network: severe internal bleeding.
Today's featured eyesore picture Like Jesus, Michael Jackson just wants the little children to come to him. Image credit: Sonje View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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