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Dead Dicks, besides being the enduring legacy of mythomaniacal former U.S. Presidents, Lyndon Baines Johnson and "Tricky Dick" Nixon, are also a numerical unit of one in Vietnam War "grunt-speak." The term was first used to describe a war stiff reported by the Vietnamese and American governments during the "body count" game. "Body-count" was a ghastly, albeit highly rated televised sport notorious for being imposed on the citizens of Vietnam and America by the captains of both teams. Essentially a dead dick is the complete opposite of a live dick, also known in Vietnam as a "Swinging Dick." From the onset both sides of the conflict agreed via negotiations that "the only good dick is a dead one." Accordingly the scoring system came into play and the game was once again a-foot. (Full article...)
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Lies Did you Know?
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- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)
- ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)
- ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)
- ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
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Lies recently told In the news
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On this day nothing happened...
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March 7: Talk Like Caveman Day
- 11,000 BC - Grog think very hard and make up number coming after two, called like "tree" but dumb: Grog pummeled with many rock for wasting everybody's time.
- 9800 BC - All the mammoths are burned to death by Grog, his friends pelt him with poop since they have no food, but now there is no poop to eat either.
- 2580 BC - Grog's best friend Enkidu seduced by city-slicker propaganda, play dress up as civilized instead of sucking on rocks and eating bugs like good old days.
- 2500 BC - Grog sandboards down the slope of the Pyramids, is detained and put on cave arrest.
- 1309 AD - Grog is happy and healthy in cave, while stupid civilized people die of Cholera and Plague, at least until Grog eat juicy rat.
- 1995 - Unabomber say modern gizmos bad for soul of humanity, but Grog have smelly green leg and must punch antelope to death everyday for breakfast so what does he know.
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