Babel:Pathos

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Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister. As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...) Recently featured: Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? Archive · Vote for featured articles · Lies Did you Know? ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured) ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out? ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that I think you know what's happening today? ... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured) ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress? ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions? ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured) ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out? ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that I think you know what's happening today? ... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured) ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress? ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions? ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured) ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out? ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that I think you know what's happening today? ... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured) ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress? ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions? ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured) ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out? ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that I think you know what's happening today?	Lies recently told In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • M-m-m-Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other Iranian leaders Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (according to Wikipedia) • Avicii (according to Wikipedia) Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico • Smiling Friends On this day nothing happened... March 2: International Genderflip Cartoon Characters Day 1797 - The Bank of England issues the country's first currency to feature a smug, grinning monarch. 1867 - First Reconstruction laws: replaces slavery with "technically-not-slavery", which is not slavery. Technically. 1917 - The people of Puerto Rico are granted U.S. citizenship, to make the colonial exploitation that much more painful. 1946 - President Ho Chi Minh is declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in high school yearbook. 1961 - John F. Kennedy starts the Peace Corps, a secret CIA project to dump potentially troubling bleeding-heart hippies abroad. 1995 - Yahoo! is created, Nintendo immediately sues the site for stealing Mario's orgasm sound. 2017 - Scientists discover a side-effect of watching Guy Fieri (Pictured) marathons on the Food Network: severe internal bleeding.
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