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Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.
This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.
What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)
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- ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
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- ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
- ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
- ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
- ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
- ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
- ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
- ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
- ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
- ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
- ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
- ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
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