User talk:Bonner/Archive 1

Welcome

Hello, Bonner/Archive 1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 22:39, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

You really helped on the link thing! My interent has been down all week. Comcastic, eh? Well, you really helpde me, so now I'm over affectionate. Here have this:

It changes when you refresh it! Fresh Stain Serq Fet of Pokemon (At your service)

Hello

Thanks for the review, do you have ideas on other products I could put in HowTo:Decieve people on eBay? --Sir Manforman 20:53, 19 June 2007 (UTC)

Advice

When you mention templates on User's talk pages, it is best to use {{tl|Username}} so the reader can easily click it. Thanks for reviewing. Anyways, I need votes. Could you vote for my user page at User:Tom mayfair/Uncyclopedia:User Page of the Month? It's a great user page: Manforman. I desperatley need votes. Thanks! --Sir Manforman 18:22, 21 June 2007 (UTC)

• Thanks for voting! --Sir Manforman 18:41, 21 June 2007 (UTC)
• You can nominate your own page but that means you automatically forfiet your vote for the month. But please note that if your user page is crap, your nomination will be removed. You can not nominate your page this month because you already voted for mine. That's OK, it's pretty late anyways. You can nominate your page in July. Thanks! --Sir Manforman 18:44, 21 June 2007 (UTC)

History of woman

With reference to History of Woman, I agree it is too long and I will cull it mercilessly. However, do you think it will fare better as an UnBook? I await your advice. Pieface 04:23, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

.

I have re-nominated my page for User:Tom mayfair/Uncyclopedia:User Page of the Month. If you like it, you can vote for it. Also, I saw your on the proofreading commitee. Could you proofread my article HowTo:Deceive people on eBay (The One You Pee Reviewed). Get back to me on my Talk Page and please consider a vote and proofreading. Thanks!--Sir Manforman 18:32, 4 July 2007 (UTC)

• I forgot to ask. Do you hate George Bush? If so, check out the "Get George Bush in Jail" link in my sig. If you hate George Bush, it would be a great idea.--Sir Manforman 19:40, 4 July 2007 (UTC)

Barhah!

This user looted Caiger Mall S/he spent 20 Action Points searching. All s/he found was this lousy template. Caiger Mall was then attacked and Ransacked by Zombies.

Add to userpage. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:54, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

Sig

I fixed it, I think. Remember that when you have a <widget>, you need a </widget> to bring the widgeting to an end. Your unfortunate lack of unwidgeting was corrupting the youth of America, leading them to smoke, wear berets, and treat tourists rudely. That's right, you were making them French. There, I said it. I'm not ashamed. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:33, 30 July 2007 (UTC)

Nexus War

You can join. I am at (13,3) right now in St. Germaine. If you can, find me. I am in a house recovering my AP so let me know when you are there. --Eiyuu Kou 20:14, 11 August 2007 (UTC)

VFH

On Aug. 2nd in a Pee Review you said you would vote for Holy Cheese. Now's your chance! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 20:46, 11 August 2007 (UTC) Thanks!

UnCyc Reciept

You have bought:

One Grue. (100 Yoinxx)

...with the discount...

Grue Army Membership (All items half price)

Total: Y 50 Enjoy your Grue! Grue Army not responsible for you being eaten by a grue. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:42, 13 August 2007 (UTC)

Horizon Engaged

- Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 19:15, 17 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for voting!

For voting for my page, as well as for your kind words of praise, I award you this template:

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a handy pamphlet, so that you will always remember how to check for lumps.
	Thanks for voting on my article, and giving me TWO FEATURES IN A ROW! Also: beware the deadly lumps!

Thanks again, P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:25, Aug 19, 2007

The Receipt

*** UNSOC OFFICIAL PARTY STORE ***
*The Favorite Place for Proles to*
******** Shop or else! ***********

Item: Commie TV
Paid to: Tom Mayfair
Price: ฿ 88.50
Paid in Full? Over
Change: ฿ 11.50

Enjoy your new items! 
Don't be afraid to come again!

฿ 11.50

BILL ISSUED BY THE BANK OF OCEANIA

Uh yeah... uhhhh...

Enjoy the list of skills you and me worked out.

• Here ya go! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 20:44, 27 August 2007 (UTC)

Aw, quadruple damnit. It appears that you need CP to memorise spells, otherwise you can only use the spell once from the scroll, and you need to look for another. And you only had 5 CP left from levelling alone. Either you can get a HELL lotta badges to use the spells... or we start the hole choose the skill thing (again.) and if you choose the latter, Kalir will probably NOT screw up like me. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 01:53, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

• I'm a good witch, by the way, not a bad witch. Ж WHEEEEE! 02:05, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for voting!

	WILSON!! WIILLSOOONN!! Hey, there he is! Anyways, The Led Balloon would like to thank you for voting on UnBooks:The Castaway.
	When you get on the raft, don't forget to bring...... Oh, never mind...

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:33, Aug 29, 2007

VFH

A while back ago, you reviewed HowTo:Deceive people on eBay and gave it a pretty good review, [1]. It's on VFH now, can you vote for it? Thanks--Sir Manforman 19:20, 30 August 2007 (UTC)

You get another one!

Enjoy! - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 15:18, 1 September 2007 (UTC)

Thwack!! I mean, uh, thanks!

	The Led Balloon humbly thanks you for reading and voting on UnNews:Hitting children found to have positive effects on brain development.
	Remember, it's for their own damn good!

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:53, Sep 2, 2007

*sigh* better?

is my sig better now? someday the flying spaghetti monster will smite you for this!

the FSM

Type it with the timestamp. And it still seems too long if i'm honest -- (Bonner) (Talk) 17:10, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

VFH thanks!

	Necropaxx hath awarded thee a wedge of Holy Cheese!!!!!
	PS: Thanks for voting on Holy Cheese on VFH.

Thanks for the review, too. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 00:40, 6 September 2007 (UTC)

INNER PARTY

Well, as a new inner party member, you get a representation of yourself on a Valjuta. So please contact me on my talk page to develop your very own Valjuta bill. I will be of requiring a head to represent you (it can even be the head of the navigator if I was being serious about letting you have the head of the navigator represent you), which will be put on the body of Comrade Trotsky. The head must be a full one, and it cannot have long/messy hair which leaves holes into the background or it won't turn out well. ~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

9/09/2007 @ 00:51

I've made every Valjuta bill so far, and I don't think anybody here has Macromedia Fireworks to edit the original Tom Mayfair bill to make it look perfect and fit in with all the other bills so far. The image you chose is just about the right size, but I might even have to scale it up. I'll see what I can do. ~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

9/09/2007 @ 16:22

The Uncyclopedian Forces

I've noticed that you haven't updated your Status Report in The Uncyclopedian Forces Urban Dead group for a while. I'm just checking in to see how you're doing, and ask if you're still around. If not, it would be greatly appreciated if you could remove yourself from the status reports page, and list yourself as retired on the Membership list. Thanks!     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   00:20, 14 September 2007 (UTC)  

Thank You

Please accept this offer for supporting HowTo:Deceive people on eBay on VFH

--Sir Manforman 11:34, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

AAAAAH!

Hey Bonner, its Tayor! what's up!

and I totally didn't know you have a grue! I do to! Her name is Indigo Septentropolis! They should totally meet!

Tayor MUN (Praise!) 15:58, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

I am! Totally! as much as possible..its the chatting I have a problem with... I'm doing fine though..yes yes! that kinda sucks about the articles...I don't know what to tell you though! anything new happened in uncyc or otherwise? Tayor MUN (Praise!) 18:26, 24 September 2007 (UTC)

Re. Okay answer me this...

No, I don't have a problem with you, I didn't like HowTo:Catch A Mouse mainly because it wasn't my cup of tea. And for HowTo:Strip A Wall, I didn't like the lists, but I re-read it and found that it's okay and I'll withdraw that nomination (see UN:LIST for more criteria for lists). Also, I wasn't the one who VFD'd Fuckwit, it was TKF. --Sir Manforman 18:28, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

Also, don't hate me. Sorry, I just withdrew both nominations--Sir Manforman 18:39, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

Well, as I far I can tell, we don't need a "valid" reason to delete. We VFD articles that in our opinion aren't good, and if other people aren't digging it, we delete, if it was a "mistaken" nom like I did with HowTo:Catch A Mouse and your other article, people would vote to keep. VFD is like Democracy--Sir Manforman 18:49, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

Jack's WIP template

Bonner, you wrote "Just thought i'd ask a favour of you; your personal WIP template adds them to this category would it be possible to remove the templates from those pages? I thought i'd better check with you before doing anything."

The whole purpose of the template was to have a template indicating not-done-yet which would not add the article to the insta-huff category. The category was added without my knowledge -- and it defeats the purpose of the tag. I removed the categorization. Thanks for the heads-up. ----OEJ 15:05, 23 September 2007 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

Here, have one of these, on the house...

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Bonner, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

---

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

---

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

---

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

---

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:32, 25 September 2007 (UTC)

Thankies McThanksALot!

	The Led Balloon thanks you for nuking the whales, and hopes that you will nuke the whales again with him sometime very soon.
	Remember: Fuck the hippies, nuke those whales!

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:37, Sep 27

Teh tahnks

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 23:25, 27 September 2007 (UTC)

Comrade

Thank you for supporting me for dictatorship at the VFS. Now my diabolical scheme for domination can commence. You Are A True Comrade. ~

Prepare for the thanking of your life!

Prepared yet? TOO LATE!

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a free sample of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, for voting for Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A.
	What a mouth-full...

Thanks for voting for the page with the ridiculously long name! (You thought it's a mouthful to say, imagine typing that word as many times as it appears in the page! Eventually I had to go C+P, cause, well, laziness n' all...) Anyways, thanks! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:14, Oct 3

Hey

Just wondering if you'd like a free position as a Grueslayer Implementor. Reply on my talk page, please! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 23:17, 4 October 2007 (UTC)

It involves working on Grueslayer, and because a team member just quit. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 10:47, 5 October 2007 (UTC)

Coding

So, you're (relatively) unfamiliar with MediaWiki coding, are you? Well, I can help!

The standard Grueslayer Header Template looks like this:

{{slayerheader|[Room Name]|[Score]|[Approx. Number of Pages Player has Gone through (normally slightly less than real number)]}}

So...

{{slayerheader|Bonner's Talk Page|0|0}}

Produces:

Grueslayer

Bonner's Talk Page	Score: 0	Moves: 0

If you know how that works, that's good.

The command template is used for:

1. Trivial commands that most players would choose
2. Reminders of what the player chose on the last page.

The command template is {{gscmd|[insert text here]}} or {{slayercommand|[insert text here]}}.

So...

{{gscmd|examine box}}

Produces:

> examine box

Clear? Good. There is also the matter of the link template. This is {{gsl|[insert target here]|[insert text here]}}. This template basically works like a regular wiki-link, but it needs both a target and text.

So:

{{gsl|Nobody cares|Go die someplace}}

Produces "Go die someplace".

Links are placed in lists at the bottom of each non-death page. Which brings us to our final topic, which is [spooky voice]DEATH PAGES[/spooky voice]. Death pages should normally end with the template {{slayerdied}}, which will give you...

*** You, the mighty Grueslayer, have royally screwed up ***

Would you like to sail back to Virginia from England, send a letter to Parliament regarding your death, or quit unlike a gentleman? (type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT):

• RESTART

• RESTORE

• QUIT

...or something similar to that.

Finally! Putting a page together! Let's make a simple death page!

Start with a header...

{{slayerheader|Land of Hungry Grues|0|1}}

...then a command. Let's assume the player chose to go north...

{{gscmd|go north}}

...then some text...

You step through the portal labelled "To the Land of Hungry Grues", and arrive in a land full of hungry grues.
You are confronted by a '''hungry grue'''. It eats you before you can say "xyzzy".

...then the obligatory grue image...

[[Image:Gsgrue.PNG|center]]

...then the death template...

{{slayerdied}}

...and you're done. Put together, the code should look like...

{{slayerheader|Land of Hungry Grues|0|1}}

{{gscmd|go north}}

You step through the portal labelled "To the Land of Hungry Grues", and arrive in a land full of hungry grues. You are confronted by a '''hungry grue'''. It eats you before you can say "xyzzy".

[[Image:Gsgrue.PNG|center]]
{{slayerdied}}

...and should produce...

Grueslayer

Land of Hungry Grues	Score: 0	Moves: 1
> go north You step through the portal labelled "To the Land of Hungry Grues", and arrive in a land full of hungry grues. You are confronted by a hungry grue. It eats you before you can say "xyzzy". *** You, the mighty Grueslayer, have royally screwed up *** Would you like to sail back to Virginia from England, send a letter to Parliament regarding your death, or quit unlike a gentleman? (type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT): RESTART RESTORE QUIT

...and you're done. That's the main Grueslayer pages at least. It's best to talk to Conniving about PvP.

I hope you learned something. If not, then... I don't know. I just hope you learned something. Ask me if you have any queries. —Comrade Pongo (V2) GS Implementor (Talk | Contribs | Award) 08:59, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

For You

The Ring of Devandalisers For poking Rieke on irc Rabbi Techno

Not be a snitch or anything...

I don't know if you've noticed yet or not, but Evil one275 has ripped off your sig. Feel free to torture/kill/keelhaul him, but you didn't hear anything from me. I'm not even here... Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 15:12, 15 October 2007 (UTC)

OMGthankyou

...for the vote, I mean. And hey, what's wrong with getting a little excited about apathy? Ooohh, riiiight...

	The Led Balloon thanks you for voting on that UnNews... the one about that guy... Oh, what's his name again?
	Ah well, it's not important. Thanks for voting!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:33, Oct 17

rar

just a random rar for you, Bonner :) --Jack Phoenix _(Contact) 14:22, 17 October 2007 (UTC)

Re:QVFD Script

Cool, thanks alot! :) -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 19:53, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

BONNER

You know me, anything for my Bonner. -- Mantiwhore ^{Spam | Vandalism} 13:18, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, I know. Should I set nosubst, or hold one of the MediaWiki developers hostage until they change it to the uncyc way? -- Mantiwhore ^{Spam | Vandalism} 13:30, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

Bonner you thick shit, it already exists! -- — Sir Manticore 13:46, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

Actually, I just needed to add nosubst. But thanks for your help, oh wise Bonner. -- — Sir Manticore 13:56, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

To clarify, I've been referring to preferences in all of these messages, you silly British man. Also, why isn't your ass in #uncyclopedia? Olipro's ready for it. -- — Sir Manticore 14:36, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

UnNews

Cheers for rolling back there, matey. You know how you see these things and they just scream out vandalism - especially when there's IP involvement? Well, you got to that one even quicker than I could check it. Nice work! :) RabbiTechno 17:58, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

JourneyMan

Is my article on JourneyMan so bad that it deserves QVFD? Can you at least tell me why so maybe I can improve and possibly resubmit it? How rude.YourMotherHasMyUnderwear 01:43, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

Are you kidding?

I read Oscar Wilde, as you asked. That's an example of a good article?! No accounting for taste I guess. I don't think I'll be copying that one too much. Any other ideas?--YourMotherHasMyUnderwear 02:24, 30 October 2007 (UTC)

Hey you! Get outta my yard!

Can you lay off QVFD for a few mins? You keep conflicting me (4 times in a row, to be honest). --AAA! (AAAA) 07:52, 5 November 2007 (UTC)

Come on IRC too. --AAA! (AAAA) 07:54, 5 November 2007 (UTC)

Ok. Fair enough. --AAA! (AAAA) 07:57, 5 November 2007 (UTC)

QVFD

I would just like to say that I have been an avid QVFD'er and have helped with a massive amount of QVFD'ing.  :) Can I have a cookie? -Razorflame 16:46, 8 November 2007 (UTC)

Razorflame/Ideas

Please look at User:Razorflame/Ideas and tell me if you think any of them are actually worth pursuing please? --Razorflame 18:12, 8 November 2007 (UTC)

Signature Help

Heyo, can you help me make the rest of my siggy? I know what I want...red about size 14 with my name. Can you post the code for it on my talk page please?

-Razorflame 18:35, 8 November 2007 (UTC)

Deletion Policy

Hey, Bonner, some of the things that you're putting up for VFD could be better handled with other tags: ICU for instance. Please take a read through the deletion policy and make use of some of our other facilities to help keep the load down on VFD. Thanks. --Sir gwax (talk) 21:31, 10 November 2007 (UTC)

Damn, sorry about that; I didn't realise some of them could be dealt with by ICU due to the fact I've had them on a list of mine for a while. I'll start making some more thorough checks before I VFD next time. Also seeing as you're an admin, feel free to remove any nominations that you feel could be handled in better ways. (Bonner) (Talk) Nov 10, 21:39

Ah, a list, fantastic. I'll give it a quick run through and delete a few of the things. You can VFD/ICU the rest at your leisure. --Sir gwax (talk) 02:38, 11 November 2007 (UTC)

Wow thanks :) That's saved me quite a lot of time (Bonner) (Talk) Nov 11, 10:17

adding QVFD tags

As long as i make sure that an article really is in QVFD, or add it there, isn't adding a QVFD tag a good thing? Doesn't it tell people that the article has already been QVFDed and that they don't have to go check? Thanks. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Ggarfield (talk • contribs)

Tehee

I always appreciate someone baking me a... well... something. Finntastic 14:58, 28 November 2007 (UTC)

UNLIMITED POWER

Thank you muchly For allowing me access to UNLIMITED power I shall now fulfill my destiny November 2 20:56 Mordillo (Talk) blocked Mordillo (Talk) (Infinite) (Clear off!).

~ 16:37, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

Complimentary award

Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Thanks for reverting my user page

Every once in a while members from Kuro5hin come over to vandalize my user page or some of my articles. They usually accuse me of being a homosexual, etc. I got tired of dealing with them on Kuro5hin and left, but they kept creating Orion Blastar themed accounts there to mock me. Since I've ignored them for a long time now, I guess they felt the need to vandalize my Uncyclopedia user page and some other user pages of people who worked on some of the same articles as I did. While I am not a homosexual, I support equal rights for homosexuals, and most of the people on Kuro5hin are bigots anyway. I think many of them are on ED as well, because they have ED personalites about creating LULZ or whatever. I think they have been banned from Uncyclopedia before, but they keep using proxy servers to come back and vandalize pages. People from IWETHEY do the same thing to me. I don't go there anymore either, but at least most of them left me alone and stopped stalking me, unlike Kuro5hin members. But I guess that is the Internet for you, it opens up the world, and some people in the world are not very nice. Good thing that there are plenty of people who are nice, and can revert the mean peoples' edits. Thanks again. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 04:32, 14 December 2007 (UTC)

Re: Merry Xmas!

Thanks Bonner! I imagine you're banned right now for spamming, but luckily you can still reply here. :) — Sir Manticore 00:22, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

rar, and Merry Xmas to you too - fun card indeed. :D -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 10:59, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lolwut?

Trar has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

--Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 16:25, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Right back at ya

Merry Christmas Despite being required by British law to carry an umbrella throughout December, and to respond to all festive cheer with "Bah Humbug", nonetheless I wish you a very Merry Christmas. Or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever other gnostic mystical mumbo-jumbo you colonials practice these days. Just don't tell the Queen.

-- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 21:32, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Have a not-shitty Christmas!

	Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
	Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:19, Dec 17

Bloody Pagans

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

Christmas and stuff

Merry Christmas! or whatever it is you new-fangled Christians do at this time of year. From Rabbi Techno

Please don't delete my page!

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please don't delete my page! Oh I beg you, for the love of god don't do it! Hyper Girl 16:26, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

STUFF THIS DOWN YOUR STOCKING!

	Yo you, yes you, I'm talking about you! It's that time of year again. Yep, time to spend hundreds of dollars on loved ones, dress up your house and raise your hydro bill and, most of all, time to fill each other's talk pages with templates that took us 2 minutes to make. SO STUFF THIS DOWN YOUR STOCKING!!!! and have a happy holidays!
	...or a Chappy Chanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, Tet, Ramadan, Festivus, or whatever you so decide to celebrate in order to get more gifts. Enjoy! Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate

A WARNING

ARE YOU PREPARED? SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN. WE ADVISE YOU TAKE PRECAUTIONS. TAKE HEED. TAKE NOTICE. TAKE COVER. a friendly message from your local Santa Awareness Bureau.

To protect you in further Holiday mall shopping...

On the first day of Christmas, the General gave to me... A Sniper in a pear tree. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines

Merry Christmas soon!

Uncyclopedian wishes you have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year's!

Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Christmas cuteness

Thanks for the card, it's going to look just great hidden down the back of the sofa. Here's wishing you the cutest Christmas ever! Not cute enough? CLICK to try again

Yay Christmas! -- sannse esnnas 21:36, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

Merry Xmas

Secular Greetings! This atheist wishes you much non-religious merriment as we celebrate the birth of consumerism. -- pointless Ape (mollify) (Riot Porn)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch

-- Mitch 12:54, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Merry Xmas!

~ Merry Xmas Bonner/Archive 1! ~ Ye Olde Luke

--YeOldeLuke 08:00, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

hey

ty fo the welcum message... :p

can yu help me with this article: Minster

The image is too big and also i dont know how t2 caption it...

cheers (ps, cud yu reply on my tork page)

) x

Iamandrewrice 12:38, 28 December 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

--Æ 00:48, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

BONNNER!!!!! (guess who?)

yays!! you got your name on the front page! woah! probly not so much of a phenomenon that I think...any vay, for you

Tayor has decided to grace you with her presence. She likes kittens, and apparently you too. Yay!! Now hear these words of wisdom, and good bye.

enjoy!!! I'll talk to you as soon as I can!! wooh! Miss ya! Tayor MUN (Praise!) 18:16, 9 January 2008 (UTC)

Enjoy!

There you go son! It's now your turn to take the good ol' family wooden condom. It's been in my family for years, passed through the generations. Slip it on boy, its your's now! Wear it with pride! The UnIdiot would like to thank you for voting his article to the front page!

Sorry I'm late

Enjoy your late thankin'.

	The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.
	Beware the white stuff!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:19, Jan 14

Voting

Phooey Approved Jan 2008

Thanks

GopherKiller has given you a free ticket to ride Superman Tower of Bloody Severed Legs for voting on UnNews:Six Flags to sell severed legs in gift shop.

Have Fun! Remember, avoid those rednecks at all costs. They want your legs.--GopherKiller Questions? Comments? 14:53, 20 January 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for your indulgence

On behalf of Prettiestpretty, Mrs. Edwin Standish of Shaker Heights Ohio Wife, mother and Daughter of the American Revolution appreciates your vote for Why?:Have Humongous Breasts Appreciatively and with warmest regards, Mrs. Edwin Standish

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:05, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

Wow!

Those are some pretty awesome time travelling ICU stamps you've got there! • Spang • ☃ • talk • 04:48, 29 Jan 2008

Ahhh man! I never realised it was doing that! Sorry :( (Bonner) (Talk) Jan 29, 07:48

Laffin SS

Ok I added a bunch of new pictures and added some new topics to my Nazi clown article. Can I remove the ICU tag? – Preceding unsigned comment added by RedIvan3 (talk • contribs)

This is JoeMonco

Did you just undo my entire rewrite, Mr. Smartypants? Gwad don't I just love this community... -- JoeMonco 17:30, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

UnForces Nexus War name

It has come to my attention that Conniving informed you 'bout the name changery I suggested. It also came to my attention that he did not have the name I suggested, but rather the one he came up with on a Latin translator website. The one I figured, with proper grammar, is Citatio Tempestatis. The main reason that I'm persisting with this is that I don't particularly like the "Call of the Storm" name as is, because it just sounds like it's trying to be cool without identifying anything about the faction in general. I'd like to have it in Latin because that would at least help to distinguish us from most of the other factions around (although Acta Sanctorum did this too, but I think their name roughly means "enacters of the law"). Ж WHEEEEE! 18:50, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks be to you!

Thankings from Led Thanks muchly for the vote for me on VFS. Now to abuse my powers... 03:38, 1 March 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎(Muahahahaha!))

Thanks again for the vote, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:52, Mar 1

Anytime led :) (Bonner) (Talk) Mar 1, 18:29

thanks

Thank You!

...for voting on this thing. I wanted to give you a big wet hug for your efforts, but the judge says I can't do that anymore. So, instead, here's a ballot paper for any future nominations. Oh look! It's already filled in, ain't that handy? - Seeker

--Sir Seeker (Call me?) |KUN|VFP| 09:22, 18 February 2008 (UTC)

Loads of thanks

You and Boomer, of annoyingly similar nickname fame, both voted for me. You have been around longer. Nonetheless, I being the old coot that I am (^_^) remember your first visit. It was in IRC. I made some cheesy joke about your name, mentioned Family Guy, and we immediately hit it off. I think. Never too sure with you Brits. Anyway, thanks a bunch for your support in VFS, which I finally passed. It will be an honor to serve you.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 04:33, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

Heh, i'm surprised i'm that well remembered, and it will be an honour to serve you as an admin :) (Bonner) (Talk) Mar 1, 18:29

Thanks for the addition! =)

Thank you for adding that "Work in progress" template to the You are here page. Seriously. I mean it.

Warm regards, Javascap 18:34, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

Hea dude

Sorry to here you will not be around so much, you will be missed, but I guess school comes first. Have fun and see you around... MrN 23:54, Mar 19

failure();

Hi there, dear newbie. I wish to welcome you on this wiki, part of the wikia network. Be bold in updating articles and adding your knowledge (albeit sourced) to improve the wiki :)--Kirochi 19:45, 30 March 2008 (UTC)

Right...That's interesting, I'm not not even going to bother... (Bonner) (Talk) Mar 30, 19:47

BONNER

BONNER! Are you back now? — Sir Manticore 15:26, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

HAHA, not really. I'm just killing time and going over a few things I used to do, like cleaning the help category (Bonner) (Talk) Apr 21, 15:28

Formatting advice/help?

The Pleasure page you ICU tagged was my first article, which I wrote to clear up a red link on some of the pages I stumbled across. At any rate, I'm by no means an expert formatter (basically assembled it from copied code off other pages), and I was wondering if you had any advice as to what specifically needs to be changed? Coolcoder 08:17, 25 April 2008 (UTC)

Gotcha, hopefully I'll find time to add a bit more to it. School gets in the way of doing too many inane things on the internet. Coolcoder 01:46, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

BONNER

Othx! Hey there, Thanks for voting your friendly janitorial whore in as admin. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to contact Sapplerx instead. No, seriously, I'm very lazy. But that's a good thing, right? Love always, Mantiwhore

My disgrievences

Whatever that means, my mind slipped and I rejected your Xbox live friend request by mistake, I forgot about the forum thing. Hope you didn't think anything of it. Will re-add.--Witt, of UNion Entertain me* 18:55, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Don't worry about it, i've done it a few times before :) (Bonner) (Talk) Apr 30, 06:36

Thanks for Vote

Ta fo voting for my article;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:23, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, Bonner!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, Bonner, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!

Double moos from your cowy friend,
YTTE (and Tayor too, I guess)

Hey, it's truly amazing. I just joined, and I feel fantastic! So much more in touch with my inner cow! do it! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 12:38, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Welcome note

Thanks:) Ceha 06:38, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

No problem (Bonner) (Talk) Jun 15, 15:46

---

OK smartass. I added links. Happy now? Well if still unhappy you can kiss my shiny human ass or you may make more crappy proposals on how to make my crappy article worse. (Whatever you choose is up to you but thank you anyway.) taratata

Thanks

for the welcome :) -- Shoot Me Dead 16:31, Jun 14

No problem (Bonner) (Talk) Jun 15, 15:46

Woaaaah, far out!

This is a haiku Thanking you for voting For On this article

-RAHB 23:10, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

And then Otter Bear said "just don't get on the carpet..."

Prettiestpretty thanks you for finding Goldilocks and the Three Bears. to be just right for VFH Fondly, PP

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:00, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Thanks and all!

Yeh...hi Bonner. Sorry, I've been really lazy and can't be bothered with the whole template thing. Well actually, this is a template...I'm just substing it in. It's just as generic and unpersonalised as a template, so don't worry about that! Anyway thanks and all for voting for this. Erm, yeh...it's on the frontpage! Woo! Also I created a tribute to it, after some talks with Hypeybole. Anyway, thanks again, Bonner! - [08:44 10 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Thanks for Vote

Ta for the vote;)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:01, 10 July 2008 (UTC)

Can you review my page pleaze

• I would appreciate it if you would check out american airlines and tell me if it's funny. Many people hate american airlines right? How cumb only I and just another person have looked at it?

--Mazman343405 23:02, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

Hi Bonner

I added a new section to my article and removed the ICU tag. If it's still too short let me know and i'll come up with some more stuff.

Thanks

Aliceinwonderland 04:36, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

Thrown

thrown out of wikipedia or beaky...pe..dia...by a checkuser.plotting to hijack his account.will you help?
[+]►▪ Bureaucrat ▪ (♪ ╥a|k ¿ ) ▪ 10:54, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

I have a huge Bonner

Quit staring. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:06, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Tony and Ludo thank you!

Splendid, what! UU would like to express his gratitude for you vote on UnMysteries:A Tissue Of Lies. Therefore, please accept a free gift of Sir John Obvious-Suspect's latest innovation - Sudoku toilet paper, for those mornings when you know you're gonna be in there ages!

I honestly thought that any of my own stuff I loved that much would never make it, so thanks for proving something-or-other to me. --UU - natter 09:00, Jul 28

Help me agian

Someone blindside my page with a no redeeming value sticker! Is that some kindof joke. The only thing i consider crude humor is the second image. I will edit it. Seriously, whats wrong with it?

i made that message above, forgot signature

--Mazman343405 22:25, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Well telling which page you're on about might help a little, I mean we have over 20,000 of them. I can't go looking through them all can I? (Bonner) (Talk) Aug 7, 10:54

Thanks for the vote

Thanks for the vote, I'm glad you liked my article:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:17, 11 August 2008 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks for the welcome!--Eukesh 17:34, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

Hey there!

Yet again I find that it's been a really long time. Good news is I've finally found any coding ability I have, and am actually able to be somewhat productive in places other than #uncyc. That's my excitement. Do you have any? HUH? Long story short, I miss you as one can only miss someone they don't know extremely well. Hope to hear from you soon? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:25, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

I wish I could get on IRC more often--I don't get to talk to a lot of people. I'm at school--IRC is blocked, so I content my self with the cite/site/sight (who knows anymore?) itself for two hours...from around 1-3. It's a good life :D. Yes, we must have a chat sometime soon. I love your wonderfully sarcastic humor. At least most times I hope it's sarcastic :D. How's everything going for you, otherwise? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:55, 2 October 2008 (UTC)\

Haha, congratulations on the dual compliments! I'm doing pretty well, I'm pretty sure...that I don't know what I was going to write for the rest of that sentence. I'm having a rough time with some things, but I think it'll pass. It may have been something along those lines. So, you appear to be an admin. Lucky you :D I want to be one of those someday. In short, I want to be you, Bonner. *shooting star* So, are you on IRC alot? I will be able to get on Wednesdays for a bit now--I'm taking an impersonater college class and I've got time and computer access before an after. Perhaps we could talk then. Egad I'm thirsty. Waterfountain! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 18:17, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

I hope so :) Well, I dunno know why, but I assumed you were. It's kind of ironic that you're editing less, and I'm finally actually editing. Egad, time differences. They always get me in the end. What are you, 5 hours behind me? It's 2:37 p.m. for me right now. Wednesdays I'd be on from 5- a bit before 6 pm, and then, usually, 8-9 pm. so...1, and 3 for you? that's kind of during schoo,. We'll see. I haven't really seen you active when I've been on, ever really, but that doesn't mean you're not around. I'll look for you. Oooh, I have to write to Zombieninja. Not that you need to know that, it just came to mind. Oh, dear, the biology class just came in here. That doesn't bode well :/ For the sake of conversation, what's your favorite word? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 18:42, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

A nod from me.

Celtic Ninja Star This person has done good deeds in the eyes of Sycamore

For protecting the site when others would not, or had just got up:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:34, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

A cookie!

Citation Needed has awarded you a cookie! Now, please Bonner this Bonner.

~ 07:50, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

• Here is another cookie~ 22:04, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

User:Citation Needed has awarded you a cookie! Now please Bonner Bonner Bonners using Bonner Bonners

Happy Hanukkah

PARTY LIKE IT'S 5769

if you're not Jewish, party anyway

Happy Hanukkah from Rabbi Techno
NOW START DRINKING

---

And thanks for handing out your Christmas cards now - I'll just follow you around and give Hanukkah cards to anyone I forgot. :-) RabbiTechno 14:06, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Merry Mid-Winter Festival

PARTY LIKE IT'S RAGNAROK!

Yule- the season of giant stone calendars and pagan elf chicks

Happy Winter Solstice from The Evil One
NOW START DRINKING MEAD AND WEARING ANIMAL SKINS

---

Happy Holidays!

Happy Pagan Holiday from Tayor .

Actually, Yule was the 21st. But, uh, the Christian Christmas is a capitalistic farce, so, uh, hah. Long live the original!
And I am SO not a heathen.

---

w00t :D The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 15:12, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Oh boy! The gift of fail! Just what I've always wanted :D Merry Christmas! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 19:52, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

BITCH, PLEASE!

I'd just like to say to you, <insert name here> Merry/Happy/Already with the happy! Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus/Capitalism, bitch-nizzle! and other mildly offensive things that make self-respecting white-people cringe with disgust. -Colin "All your base" Heaney

STUFF THIS DOWN YOUR STOCKING!

	Yo you, yes you, I'm talking about you! It's that time of year again. Yep, time to spend hundreds of dollars on loved ones, dress up your house and raise your hydro bill and, most of all, time to fill each other's talk pages with templates that took us 2 minutes to make. SO STUFF THIS DOWN YOUR STOCKING!!!! and have a happy holidays!
	...or a Chappy Chanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, Tet, Ramadan, Festivus, or whatever you so decide to celebrate in order to get more gifts. Enjoy! Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate

Here's Your Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas 2008 From Sawblade5

Here's a Potato Christmas Tree For You!
Caution the Grue protecting this tree!

---

Sending From Near Bonner Springs, KS ----Pleb- Sawblade5 ^{( yell | FAQ | I did this )} 08:03, 25 December 2008 (UTC)

Punch!

	Thanks for the card and Happy Boxing Day! So that's it for another year... now it's all turkey sandwiches and packing up the presents to sell on ebay. So take advantage of this last day to have the traditional punch-up with your family.
	-- sannse esnnas

>_<

I just decided to peruse my talk page, and I saw your Christmas 'gift'. It appears to be a gift that keeps on giving, because now I've lost the game. AGAIN. And I was doing quite well, too. So, let it be known. YOU LOST THE GAME!! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 12:29, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Your chastity is mine

MINE I SAY! ~ Mordillo where is my HOSER? 23:37, 28 December 2008 (UTC)

Sig.

I'm going to steal that thing from your signature. But, because I'm polite, I'm going to tell you first. Although it may not work...
--> ᐛᐂᐖ-- You REALLY CAN talk to me! WOW!  17:32, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

No, get out, you broke it (Bonner) (Talk) Mar 4, 21:41

?

Why does Uncyclopedia not need advertisements like encyclopedia dramtica? I like it, especially since uncyclopedia has no pop-ups. Also, ED has some MalWare. ED really sucks.

1) Who the fuck are you?

2) What the fuck are you talking about?

(Bonner) (Talk) Mar 4, 21:41

Purim

Mad Mike "Moishe" Tyson does it, so you should too!

Yes - it's Purim already, so be like
Mike and eat some ears today!

It's the only time of year when being a Jew is fun!
Chag Purim Sameach from Rabbi Techno

---

OK, so you're not Jewish. Who cares? This is a great excuse to get drunk.

Grueslayer

If you think you can contribute something, would you be interested in joining the GS DEV TEAM again? --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 09:47, 25 April 2009 (UTC) Probably not, seeing as I barely contribute anything to anything around here nowadays. (Bonner) (Talk) Apr 25, 11:54

Who's in charge here?

Are you in charge here?--Enemyatthegates 23:44, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

He isn't in charge. These people are. I'd try this guy or this guy. They're both on right now. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:49, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Edit

Thank you for fixing my Bad Religion article earlier today, I was actually wondering if you wouldn't mind taking a look at the Success portion of it if you get a chance. I tried to add an image to it, and for some reason that part of the article became extremely long, horizontally speaking, and I am not sure why. If you could fix it I would appreciate it. Thanks- Legolas 11 August 12, 2009 (UTC).

Thanks for filling me in, that happened on another article of mine and now I know why. Once again thank you for your time- Legolas11 August 13, 2009 (UTC).

No problem (Bonner) (Talk) Aug 14, 09:35

Welcome

Thank-you for your welcome, but I think, since I am a respected user of Nonciclopedia, that you must not control me too much. P.s Your welcome was come delayed. I wish you will understand my English, that is not good.-- Magnus  Come here 10:48, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

welcome right back at ya!

thanks for the copy and paste welcome, I feel so touched ;) TriKid 13:09, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Welcome

Did you notice your sig code is leaking? ~ 11:24, September 6, 2009 (UTC)

Cut me some slack, I'm lazy busy

And especially for the nom. ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 20:26, 18 December 2009