User talk:GopherKiller

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Welcome![edit source]

Hello, GopherKiller, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 21:02, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

INDEED![edit source]


-RAHB 05:11, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

Done[edit source]

I finished. The last paragraph was pretty much Sex in a School Bag so I left it (mostly). Anyway, tell me if you like. Hope it fares you well.

Alright, now the lowdown[edit source]

I was a bit busy last night when I got your message, so I put the template on quick and had to leave. Anyways, here's my speech-ish thing.

My name is RAHB, as you may have guessed. It seems as though you're going to be my adoptee. Contrary to popular belief, this is a great privelage, and I'm currently working on something, on and off, to distinguish my adoptees as an elite breed on Uncyclopedia. This will be through the use of fancy templates and badges and things, but also through a particular adopting method I'm fine-tuning. You may be one of the first to be involved, as you are now my newest adoptee.

Now to advice. I am here for you. If there is ever a question that needs asking, no matter how silly, or how embarrassing, ask me on my talk page. I've got your page watched, so I can see your replies when I talk here. You can watch my page by clicking the "watch" tab up above my profile. I'll generally be answering your questions on my talk page, where you post them, which is why you should watch it. Likewise, you can answer me, or whoever else talks to you, on your own page, as they'll usually expect that, and I will personally have your page watched, as I stated.

That's about all, go ahead and read the noob links in your welcome notice if you haven't; they're actually very helpful. Ask me if anything else needs any clearing up. Cheers! -RAHB 23:13, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

OOooh! One more thing! I'm in the IRC channel a lot, if you ever wanna check around there. Good for talking and...things like that. Anyways, that's all now. -RAHB 23:19, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
Wow, I'm not "special" enough for your little program RAHB? Anyway, GopherKiller, congrats on being RAHB's latest Noob slave. --- UnIdiot | GUN.png | Talk | Contribs - 03:04, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
Thanks again RAHB! With the help of The UnIdiot and The LedBallon I got my IRC working so I am on there alot now. Still working on Caddyshack conspiracy If you would look it over that would be great. Also I need some help with a sig.Thanks GopherKiller Questions? Comments?Icons-flag-us.png 00:00, 20 September 2007 (UTC)
Hey no problem. I'll take a look at both later on, unfortunately I'm busy all day. If you can get someone else to do either, that's just fine. I'll do them both if they're free to do when I get back though. Cheers! -RAHB 17:07, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote! Have a whale![edit source]

Kansasty.jpg The UnIdiot would like to award you with a authentic Kansas whale! Because apparently Kansas has oceans now! Treasure it always! Only 789,729 more left! Tell your friends!

Thanks for voting on Kansas whaling!

Hey There[edit source]

Sorry I wasn't able to take a look at your article yet. My internet was out for a few days and the ISP were being a bunch of asshats about it. I'm back on now though, so I'm going to give your article a thorough examination and review. -RAHB 23:23, 22 September 2007 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews[edit source]

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, GopherKiller, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:53, 24 September 2007 (UTC)

Thank you[edit source]

This text is written in off-white, as opposed to white. It may be difficult to read, and you may have to strain you eyes or cheat and highlight it with your cursor to read it. CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER!

Thanks for voting for UnNews:White House discovered to be off-white!

Thank you! --- UnIdiot | GUN.png | Talk | Contribs - 00:37, Oct 1 00:37, 1 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the NotM vote![edit source]

Crotchgun.jpg Pfft, only a n00b would try this! Remember, you voted for me because I did this better than any other n00b on the site! Please accept this poorly made template! No, its all we have! GO AWAY!

Thanks for voting for The UnIdiot!

Thwanks! - UnIdiot | GUN.png | Talk | Contribs - 21:24, Oct 1

UnNews[edit source]

I noticed you were working on an UnNews yourself lately, and figured, since you seem to be "tuning it up", that I would drop you this link right here. Seriously, click it, you know you want to. I hope this helps! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:52, Oct 2

He's right. That link is one of the surprisingly helpful ones on Uncyc. -RAHB 20:07, 2 October 2007 (UTC)

Prepare for the thanking of your life![edit source]

Prepared yet? TOO LATE!

STMVA1.JPG The Led Balloon has awarded you a free sample of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, for voting for Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A.
What a mouth-full...

Thanks for voting for the page with the ridiculously long name! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:15, Oct 3

Tanks 4 teh votes[edit source]

Readingisfun.jpg The UnIdiot wood like u 2 no thay reeding hells you improd u're readding nd wrting! Weeding is fund!

Thanks for voting on UnNews:Studies show people who read are better at reading

Thank you for the vote! - UnIdiot | GUN.png | Talk | Contribs - 01:20, Oct 3

Shanks[edit source]

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 16:48, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks![edit source]

Iranarmy.jpg The UnIdiot wishes to acknowledge you for voting for UnNews:Iran to invade Iran, and hopes that you support Iran's plan to invade Iran.
The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his persistent whoring!

Thanks again! - UnIdiot | GUN.png | Talk | Contribs - 00:51, Oct 12

THANKS!!!!11!!!!!111111111[edit source]

Ak47.jpg The UnIdiot has chosen to give you an AK-47 as thanks for voting on HowTo:Be safe with guns, and hopes that you will remember to be safe with your shiny new rifle. Don't shoot your eye out!
The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his incredible amounts of whoring!

Thanks vote teh votzrs! - UnIdiot | GUN.png | Talk | Contribs - 00:18, Oct 19

Feel the power of science!![edit source]

ScienceFair.JPG The Led Balloon has awarded with the gift of sciencey knowledge, because he can already tell that you are smarter than that asshat judge was.
Thanks for voting, and remember, magic science is all around us!

Thanks for the vote, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:26, Nov 12

Free template![edit source]

Norwellgang.jpg This user is from Norwell, Massachusetts. In other words, they have an army of whores to vote for their articles!

Enjoy - UnIdiot | GUN.png | Talk | Contribs - 01:16, Nov 29

Have a not-shitty Christmas![edit source]

WinterBreakCalendar.PNG Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:16, Dec 17

Bloody Pagans[edit source]

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous

Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png

One Of These[edit source]

Christmas tree.jpg HEY LOSER! Here's another semi-personalized (that's a lie) Merry Christmas template to add to the overwhelming pile you've got building up on your talk page right now. Have a Merry Christmas, or I'll come over there and make you have a Merry Christmas.
If you don't already have a pile of these building up, you're a hopeless loser that nobody on Uncyclopedia likes...sorry.

Yours truly, RAHB

Happy Holidays, or some such. -RAHB 03:38, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

Holidays Frequently Occur in Winter![edit source]

SnowyHillside.jpg Hey, y'all. It's me, UnTalented, here to wish you a joyous Midvinterblót! Don't forget to offer up your finest stallions and swine as sacrifices to the Norse gods, lest the chill of winter freeze you to the bone. Cheers!

Have a nice vacation. --UnTalented 22:35, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

Two messages from me in a row![edit source]

Thanks for your vote! --UnTalented 21:53, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

Well Hey There!![edit source]

Fancy seeing you here Gopherkiller! And on your talk page no less! Anyways, it looks like you had to go before I finished overhauling your article. Have a look next time you're around, I pretty much just rephrased lots of the things in it with bigger words, and tried to cut down the use of the word "legs" to make it more pleasing to readers. Let me know what you think, and feel free to change anything I wrote, as it is your article after all. Also, expect another, much more generic message from me at some point today concerning adoptions and things like that, as I'm probably going to be sending a how-do-you-do out to my adoptees. Cheers! -RAHB 00:41, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

Enjoy![edit source]

Modernwoodencondom.jpg There you go son!

It's now your turn to take the good ol' family wooden condom. It's been in my family for years, passed through the generations. Slip it on boy, its your's now! Wear it with pride!

The UnIdiot would like to thank you for voting his article to the front page!

You there![edit source]



Dear GopherKiller

Workers' Party Member The UnIdiot has invited you to join the Workers' Party and help the revolution be the best it can be! Without many members being of helping the site, we cannot be of big helpings to site and users, such as the have of unfree that are of need of negotiations with admins for unbanning and such. We are also of giving free hats to all members, amnesty coverage, healthcare, and if you makeway into Inner Party, you get face on Valjuta. Valjuta allow purchasing of great products on Uncyclopedia from the Worker's Party and the Uncyc Store, and you are of getting them when you are joining. You can even deposit Valjuta for Yoinxx and help party drive Valjuta inflation down so that you can buy more.

Stop rebellion. Help the newcomers. Fix the site. Negotiate your Uncyclopedia friends. Buy stuff. Kill the brotherhood. Don't forget Miss Unsoc!



The UnIdiot

Hello1[edit source]

how are you