User talk:Under user/Archive 28

British Rail

I'm going to enjoy their hospitality in early May again, seems like I'm coming for a couple of days to London. So yeah, now you can tell me how there is no chance in hell you're coming down there. ~ 14:51, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Tourists tell any native to "go on, do the cockney thing". London in winter only for me. --nldr 14:53, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

London only with a gun to my head normally, for me (I really don't like the place). However, there are exceptions, and I'd be prepared to make one of those exceptions for everyone's favourite power-crazed Amsterdam-based Jew - depending on when in early May you're talking about (because May is already quite a busy month for me, so don't hold your breath, but if there's a chance, I'll take it!) --UU - natter 15:03, Apr 6

Might as well talk with the other Brits then :). Probably around the 4th. ~ 15:15, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Right. I'll check with my social organiser (read: wife). Fingers lightly crossed. --UU - natter 15:33, Apr 6

if I can afford it would I be allowed to come, like if theres a proper gathering. I wouldn't want to intrude on you and Mordillo's Special Time.    Orian57    Talk   15:50 6 April 2010

Oh cool - someone to hold our drinks for us. If I can make it. --UU - natter 16:02, Apr 6

I'm not comming unless Oli is. gonna go talk to Oli aren't you?    Orian57    Talk   16:06 6 April 2010

Dude. If it is the 4th - indeed, if it is that week, then it is a shamefaced "can't make it", I'm very much afraid. That week is rammed full of important stuff with the little one, with work, and with my parents, and I can't rearrange any of it (and I've spent the last couple of hours seeing if I can). Arse, feck, and possibly bugger as well. --UU - natter 21:23, Apr 7

Speaking of London, I'm going to Wembley this weekend for Pompey vs. Spurs semi-final. I've been to that stadium more than any Arsenal fan, crissakes. --nldr 19:22, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Drape

As I'm stuck in America and can't go to London either. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 15:44, Apr 6 2010

It does disappoint me how nobody pays attention to UU when he says "kno R wurd plez". It's like his only rule. And no Prostitutes. And also no bad grammars. And you shouldn't be nasty to people.    Orian57    Talk   15:52 6 April 2010

Yeah, it particularly disappoints me this time, as I suspect Necro will be worried by getting a ban. No biggie, Necro, but I've set a precedent and I'm sticking to it - that does matter to me. Hope we're cool. --UU - natter 16:01, Apr 6

Actually, yeah, you did scare the carp outta me. Here I was, updating the Pee List, and BAM! Sorry I didn't see that earlier. And yeah, of course we're cool! :-P • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 16:05, Apr 6 2010

Why, was that you first time? Ha, noob! I was banned for indecency on UU's talker, like, twice or something.. So, errm, do I win anything? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 16:12 • Tuesday, 6-04-2010

I think he should be bannationed.    Orian57    Talk   16:14 6 April 2010

I don't think I sounded sincere enough in my post. So, I'm sorry Under user. I won't do it again. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 16:21, Apr 6 2010

I think you should ban him again for being needy and clingy and gay.    Orian57    Talk   16:29 6 April 2010

no your gay • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 16:33, Apr 6 2010

You're experiencing the same "sincere sorrow" feeling I had when the same thing happened to me. I thought I really crossed UU, and felt really awkward.. You're a charming lad, UU, I'm telling you. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 16:31 • Tuesday, 6-04-2010

Lad? UU I'd call that insubordination. Ban him. BAN HIM.    Orian57    Talk   16:44 6 April 2010

C'mon, UU, do what our fine lass here asks! • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 16:52 • Tuesday, 6-04-2010

In all seriousness, I really don't like the casual overuse of that word and the seeming trivialisation of the abhorrent concept it actually represents. I'm not on a crusade to stop it being used on the wiki any more than I'm on a crusade to keep down salt in the sea, but I don't want it using on my talkpage, and I will ban anyone using it here. And don't go using it looking for a joke ban, 'cos you'll get a serious one.

That said, there are no hard feelings towards people using it first time - as I said, no biggie Necro, we're cool. Now, I'll just go ban all of you like you asked, and that'll sort everything out, right? ;-) --UU - natter 09:08, Apr 7

Random thing

Hello UU. First of all, Rich. :P("The R word" actually irritates me a bit too-I only intend to kid) Second, is there any way to make finished reviews automatically lock after a while, like forums do? There have been multiple instances where Chief or someone else has thought a review was new and needed to be checked because someone fixed a spelling error, vandalized it, or something along those lines. I think it should be given enough time for the author to comment on the review, but not so much that we have people checking reviews from three months ago. Thanks.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 20:32, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

I've no idea, I'm not really a wiki code expert like Spang, and I'd be reluctant to do it if there was - sometimes, people return to a review for a reason, and I wouldn't want to remove the possibility of that happening. Besides, I checked the pee queue for a year and a half or more, and occasionally came across the same review twice, but I never saw it as a major problem. It's a minor irritation, but paying a moment's attention to things such as the timestamp in the sigs can keep it from happening most of the time. --UU - natter 09:13, Apr 7

Oh my god, you're so mean. Leave Hep alone! As your personal advisor I would suggest you issue an apology and then ban yourself several million times.    Orian57    Talk   11:25 7 April 2010

Let's not start coding because I'm lazy, I see the minutes I lose chalking up already checked review as a time tax on my stupidity. --ChiefjusticePS2 21:37, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

PeeReview Template

Thanks for adding the info about the {{PeeReview}} and a note to the Pee Review page. I've gotten involved in two heated discussions that could have been prevented with that template. Also I may take the liberty of adding a note to the template about not nomming an article for VFH while it's up for review as that was the main problem with both those situations (and with a third that caused problems for another user and I). Thanks again! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:03, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry Why, I'm going to remove the VFH note. Unlike the VFD one which is perfectly justified, I don't think any article needs protection from being nominated for VFH. The heated discussion you refer to actually lead to an article on its way to being featured in a couple of days, so I don't think such a note is necessary. ~ 21:24, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

What about a note asking people to check with the author before nominating for VFH? I personally know of three cases where a VFH nomination before the authors had finished the article caused a problem. In the first of them I and the other co-author spent most of our time here over two days asking people advice on what to do when our article got nommed before we felt it was ready. We got varying advice that left us convinced anything we did would be wrong (if I recall correctly, we finally got an admin to remove it from VFH). In the second, the author got very upset with the person who nommed an article while it was up for Pee Review (that discussion became another big drama, and I got involved as Chiefster's assistant in Pee Review). In the third (the one you mentioned), an article nommed for VFH when it was up for Pee Review got several people involved in heated discussions on various talk pages and general upsetness both here and by email--I personally have about four pages worth of email about it.

But if you don't want to mention VFH on that template, I may just make a separate template saying an article is in progress so please don't nom it for VFH. A simple template like that could have easily prevented three major conflicts that I was personally involved in. I imagine there's more. And really, my interpretation of Pee Review is that the author specifically wants advice on improving an article. To me, waiting until the author is finished polishing his or her work before putting it up for VFH is a way of showing respect for the author and the work. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:02, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

I don't agree. Your argument hinges on the fact that the author has some claim to ownership of an article, which, being this is a wiki, they have minimal claim to that. I've had a few articles nommed before I was comfortable with it being nommed, and I have asked that they be removed. The forst time I was shot down, being told that I had to let it wait out the time and just make the further changes to it in my user-space. The second time it was removed but it was very obviously going to be voted down anyway. Either way there was no drama as such. And given that there have been times I've looked at an article on PEE and decided it should be nommed as it stood - what's the point in me reviewing it when I have nothing to add, but I feel that it's good enough to be put on front page? Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 23:40, Apr 6 2010 UTC

I'd also like to say that getting voted down on VFH isn't the end of the world. (I can assume) it sucks, but you won't die or anything.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 00:40, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Agreed, and boogaloo is spelled with 4 o's. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 00:52, Apr 7 2010 UTC

Wow, all that drama over someone nomming an article because they thought it was funny? I agree with the others here, Why - there are a few issues here. For instance, some people aren't always looking for feedback necessarily, so much as an idea of if they can nom an article they think is good - THINKER, for instance, used to treat Pee as a formality to go through before he nommed his latest work (although it was usually good enough, admittedly). And your examples are about the only instances I've heard of in my time on this wiki of people being upset in this way - most people are happy to see an article nominated, and if it gets shot down, hey! At least it shows them how much more work it needs! I'm not interested in making changes based on a couple of people getting their panties in a bunch over nothing. If someone nominates your article, be flattered they like it. End of. --UU - natter 09:23, Apr 7

PEEING Question

Hey UU, seeing as how Chief isn't going to be back for a bit, I was wondering if you could help me out. I don't know whether this is in-depth or not. Could you provide an authoritative answer so I can get to sleep at night? Thanks! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 02:10, Apr 7 2010

I'd say yes - constructive feedback was given enough so that I know what changes need to be made. Given that there is very little in the way of prose to be reviewed, and the concept is extremely straightforward, those two areas would be likely to be less in-depth. The humour, images and spelling are probably the most important things. And this isn't my talk page. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 02:29, Apr 7 2010 UTC

Well, seeing as it was you who got the review, you are more than qualified to judge. Too slow, UU! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 05:31, Apr 7 2010

....and Skinfan already got it. Well I feel profoundly useless. :( • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 05:33, Apr 7 2010

Plus, I already judged it lol. In all seriousness, I thought it was in-depth based on the fact that Matfen met the length requirements and gave pointed advice in places. While I personally have a really high standard for my own pees, This review seemed perfectly acceptable to me based on the guidelines. Edit: not to mention that was an extremely hard article to review...-- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 01:37 EST 7 April, 2010

YAY! Everybody is sufficiently useless. Especially UU. He's too useless to even be a part of this conversation. Eat it UU. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 05:47, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Well, seeing as everyone has already looked at the article as well as the review, and I'm significantly useless, does anyone have anymore feedback? Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 06:04, Apr 7 2010 UTC

Yes, your new sig is too small. I hve to get out my reading glasses just to see what it says. Harrumph! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 06:05, Apr 7 2010

Sorry about that, old man. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 06:16, Apr 7 2010 UTC

So as far as I can tell, I don't need to do anything here? Good, good, that's how I like it. Carry on. --UU - natter 09:25, Apr 7

Nominated for the Foolitzer Prize

One fine day...

--Funnybony    05:30, Apr 7

Spin quotes

• "Uh... give me a few hours, I'll come up with some"
• "You like the truth, don't you? But you don't like it the way it is now? Join us."
• "Summit of Spin will give the world the truth our customer pays for."
• "You cannot spell client without including lie."
• "Our door is open for anyone with - in the words of Sir Humphrey Appleby - some moral flexibility."

More coming up if I invent any. Truth is such a variable thing. -- Style  Guide 10:36, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Was it Sir Humphrey or Sir Arnold? I forget. -- Style  Guide 12:45, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Appleby performs all the monologues, so I'd presume he said that. --nldr 12:48, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Could have been in a conversation between those two - but it doesn't matter. If nobody knows, what a SoS member says is obviously the truth. -- Style  Guide 13:08, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Assuredly! --nldr 13:13, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Spin quotes, part 2

"Early this year, I felt something was missing in the world. That something was money truth - and it was specifically missing in my pockets the world of organised news reporting. Whatever is true in the world - like how wooden wheels are far better than tyres made of rubber and wheels made of metal alloys, or how fluffy bunnies are infinitely useful for all kinds of things - I felt I had to bring these things out for people to see. And you, if you are as greedy as I am love truth as much I do, can join forces with me by working for Summit of Spin for a ridiculously low salary, considering how much you have to lie love of truth! I cannot promise you anything else but prolonged court battles blood, sweat and tears in our constant fight for better-paying clients a more honest world!" Edit it if you like. I'll think once more today, to see if I come up with anything else. I think this is the gist of it though. -- Style  Guide 13:32, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Cheers Multi, keep your eyes peeled for the next issue, due to hit talk pages tomorrow. --UU - natter 21:16, Apr 7

Thanks!

And what do you want? You think that because you voted for Why?:Do I need to provide this? you'll get some kind of thank you from Necropaxx? Ha!

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:41, Apr 7 2010

True story--I saw that Necropaxx was blocked for 10 minutes for posting a word on your talk page. Curious as to what the word was, I looked at his most recent edit here, and saw he used the word "thanks." I had to check through the history before I sorted it all out. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:39, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Uh, um - er... congratulations, if you know what I mean, for letting us know which word not to use on UU:s talk page. -- Style  Guide 07:03, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

He said Jehovah! Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 06:39, Apr 8 2010 UTC

Might also have said nu (the other, more dangerous kind of nu). -- Style  Guide 07:04, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Are there any women here today? --nldr 17:55, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

Apr 8th, 2010 • Issue 83 • News even an Uncyclopedian can understand!

We deliver on our promises By PuppyOnTheRadio As stated in last weeks edition of the USP, VFS is over, and we've run out of material to be able to fill this particular edition. Discussion about what to include in here has been vast and varied. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user suggested we write an article about how it's his birthday today, but how are we going to be able to write an entire article about his birthday? Especially when the bastard hasn't invited us to his party or shared any of his cake with us. Other suggestions included writing the value of π to the first 1,000 digits, or planting drugs on an admin. As none of the regular writers are able to do anything mathematical, and we attempted to plant drugs on an admin, but they mysteriously disappeared before we could discover them, those options were excluded. So instead we have gone back to suggestions for what we were going to do for the April Fool's day issue, where EMC suggested we have an article which simply showed someone being hit in the face with a pie. Working on the assumption that a picture is worth one thousand words, this seems to incorporate elements from most of the ideas we have had so far. If you are interested in helping to pad out contribute fine quality writing to the UnSignpost, or just wanting to bring up items of interest for our intrepid team of editors to report on, drop us a line at the press room and we promise we'll be polite when we ignore it. Spinning some new yarns By UU Another week, another new Uncyclopedia project, it seems. The latest to be launched is the Summit of Spin, which purports to be "an "office" that makes it easier and more organized to collaborate on article serials". It seemingly has no rules, but claims to provide "a series of tools to facilitate writing", which sounds dangerously close to helpful, if you ask us. Intrigued, your ever-alert UnSignpost asked the project's founder, Multiliteralist, for some quotes, preferably lengthy ones for the sake of padding. He responded: "You like the truth, don't you? But you don't like it the way it is now? Join us." Which is all well and good, but doesn't exactly fill this article out anything like enough. Fortunately, he added: "Our door is open for anyone with - in the words of Sir Humphrey Appleby - some moral flexibility." That was slightly more helpful for our purposes. Fortunately, however, he followed that up with: "Early this year, I felt something was missing in the world. That something was money truth - and it was specifically missing in my pockets the world of organised news reporting. Whatever is true in the world - like how wooden wheels are far better than tyres made of rubber and wheels made of metal alloys, or how fluffy bunnies are infinitely useful for all kinds of things - I felt I had to bring these things out for people to see. And you, if you are as greedy as I am love truth as much I do, can join forces with me by working for Summit of Spin for a ridiculously low salary, considering how much you have to lie love of truth! I cannot promise you anything else but prolonged court battles blood, sweat and tears in our constant fight for better-paying clients a more honest world!" And we think that just about sums it up without us having to do too much actual reporting, so we'll leave it here. Why not have a look at the Summit of Spin and get involved?

Check out these pages! Someone wants to be banned Oh dear God, is it still going? World Cup fever starts here From our logs: 14:26, 6 April 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 167.206.233.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (ooh, is this a game of "state the bleedin' obvious"? OK: you're a twat. I win!) 15:53, 4 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Starsky133 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 seconds ‎ (I have no life and nothing bothers me more than people who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." :-)) 01:22, 3 April 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 123.243.77.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Because I said so: Random insertion of the phrase "Monstrous testicles" into an UnNews article is not funny unless you're extrodinarily lucky, and you, my fine douche bag of a fellow human, are not lucky.) Biopic of the Week You'd think that, him having been on the wiki for over 4 years, having written a bunch of featured articles, and recently become an admin, we'd have done a bio on RabbiTechno by now, wouldn't you? Arguably Uncyc's second most notorious Jew (because no-one ever remembers TKF is Jewish), and UotM wayyy back in January '08, the good Rabbi now polices the wiki with his kosher banstick as part of the increasingly Semitic but non-existent Cabal. Old-School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. It was a stormy and dark night. Not a dark and stormy night. That's an unrelated story, one that’s got little to do with this narrative. That somber tale has got something to do with Paul Clifford and I'd tell you about it, but the library revoked my card. Something about expositioning too loud last time I was there. Sorta-Comeback of the Week A wild Gerrycheevers appeared! Gerry used April Fool - it's pretty effective! Necropaxx, RabbiTechno, Mordillo and UU used gullibility - it's not very effective! Gerry wins!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:49, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

(The forbidden word)!

Nice ad, let's see what happens! -- Style  Guide 20:07, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

???    Orian57    Talk   11:52 10 April 2010

OK, promo news for SoS. -- Style  Guide 12:08, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

It's my birthday and I'll cry f I want to/ Cry if I want to

What's up with you this fair tenth of April day?    Orian57    Talk   14:29 10 April 2010

Really? Your actual birthday? Well then, happy birthday, hope you have a good one! My parents are visiting, so I've been out with them and mini-UU all day, and now we're off again - I'm literally just passing, and this should be my only edit of the day. Toodles! --UU - natter 17:15, Apr 10

My actual birthday, as apposed to my uncyc birthday (which everyone without exception wholesale ignored for the past two years). And ta, I had pretty good day. Well it was rubbish but it wasn't an important birthday or anything. I mean it was so rubbish I was made to miss the first ten minutes of Doctor Who. Oh well, glad to hear you had fun on my birthday.    Orian57    Talk   01:44 11 April 2010

Get anything good? What flavour jelly did you have with your ice cream? --UU - natter 09:36, Apr 12

I got Metro 2033, it's awsome, post nuclear-apocolypse Moscow, and a Michael Mcintyre DVD and Skins searies 4. And about £75 which I intend to spend on books, mainly erotica, and DVDs. And no ice cream sadly (the last time I had jelly and ice cream on my birthday was when I was four, the last time I was truly happy.) but I had honey roast lamb and waffles for dinner. It was lovely. Ta for asking. :) I promise I am trying to write something, I just start and realise that it's not funny, there's a story to tell there, or both.    Orian57    Talk   00:26 13 April 2010

You're too precious. Just write any old garbage, and then write something else. I end up writing featured articles because I write a lot of stuff, and about 40% of it is featureable if I'm lucky. (Well, going by 50 articles written/rewritten and 20 features not counting collabs. Of course my features are the things that I've often spent the most time on, so the real figure is probably somewhat less than 40%, but you get the idea.) Don't be afraid to write duds - we just want more Orian magic, and with nothing coming from you, there aren't even any Orian diamonds in the rough. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 01:41, Apr 13 2010 UTC

Yeah but personally I can barely bring myself to finish something I see as crap. What's the point? Thank you for your kind words though, you big ol' dog you.    Orian57    Talk   08:49 13 April 2010

LoL

• 15:23, 2010 April 9 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 168.169.153.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (back in black, i hit rollback, and the page that you blanked has come back (don't blank, it just gets you banned))

ACDC FTW! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:43, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Well, what do you expect when the muppet blanks the AC/DC page? You don't mess with Acca Dacca. --UU - natter 09:27, Apr 12

I thought that stood for Alternating Current/Direct Current...I'm a nerd.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 19:33, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Wrong, you two! It's Anti-Christ/Devil's Child, obviously! Repent, o sinners!!!one!eleven!! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:29, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Apropos of nothing

I've had the theme song from Minder stuck in the head for the last hour or so. Could you do me a favour and kill Dennis Waterman? Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 05:26, Apr 12 2010 UTC

I've tried. Seriously. Several times. It's like he's protected from up on high by the Prince of Darkness himself. Or something. I prescribe an hour listening to "The Birdie Song" - that should help. At the very least, it'll make you feel a whole lot better about the theme from Minder. --UU - natter 09:34, Apr 12

VFH question

Hey, I wanted to renominate Chatroulette as what let it down the most last time was the lack of images. I've added in a near infinite amount of images now and would like toi renominate it, but I know that there is a guideline on waiting before re-nomming an article, but I have no idea what it is. Care to shine a little light on this for me? Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 04:48, Apr 14 2010 UTC

"Guideline" is probably a little strong. It's generally considered bad form to re-nom with indecent haste, and I've seen that mean "within a fortnight" in the past, so leave it a couple of weeks after the previous nom, and you should be OK. Don't worry, VFH won't go anywhere in the meantime! --UU - natter 10:59, Apr 14

I don't know about that UU, what with these government cutbacks... I mean it's VFH or the Grue Army.    Orian57    Talk   12:15 14 April 2010

BAN!

"Ghad!!!"

Jeez! Uncyclopedia is the kind of nut house where getting banned actually feels like an honor. Or at least being accepted into the UnLuminati. Thanks! It was a pleasure! Cheers--Funnybony    16:55, Apr 14

Gabba gabba, we accept you, we accept you, one of us! --UU - natter 08:24, Apr 15

Russian Reversal Article

I'd like a copy of my "Battle of Russian Reversal" article please. I have time to finish it now.

--Fail77 23:59, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

I was gonna make a funny joke about how you FAILed to format correctly and sign and then you corrected yourself. :(    Orian57    Talk   00:00 15 April 2010

Here you go: User:Fail77/The battle of Russian Reversal‎. I put it in userspace so you can finish it without fear of deletion. When you think it's done, come back and we'll look at putting it back in mainspace. Good luck! --UU - natter 08:54, Apr 15

What? No comment on my genius (that word always looks wrong, is it?) pun?    Orian57    Talk   11:43 15 April 2010

No. --UU - natter 12:27, Apr 15

BRING ON THE TRUMPETS!

You mentioned that All My Best Friends Are Metalheads is the best song that Less Than Jake have ever written. While that may be true I would like to say that everything else they've done is pretty fantastic. They're my new second favourite band.    Orian57    Talk   00:18 15 April 2010

Mmm, they're not bad at all. I always thought of them as a baby NOFX, myself. Have you heard "Liza and Louise" by NOFX? --UU - natter 08:28, Apr 15

Yeah! but I think that's a good thing. NOFX have some great songs and philosophies but they try too hard to not give a fuck about anything, occasionally it just comes off as childish. And their song "medeo-Core" really annoys me because A) it's crap B) all of their songs sound the same. And not heard that particular song by them, however Eddie Bruce and Paul, is a good one.    Orian57    Talk   11:41 15 April 2010

NOFX are hit and miss, I agree. But for me, their hits are better than LTJ, and their misses are on a par with LTJ's weaker stuff. So NOFX FTW. When they can be bothered (see Punk In Drublic and White Trash, Two Heebs and a Bean) they are very good. And Liza and Louise is one of their best. Neither of 'em hold a candle to Rancid, mind. --UU - natter 12:34, Apr 15

Evidently

I have a son. I have no idea how this happened as I was fighting in the pacific for the last 2 years. ~ 02:42, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Hmm, this would appear to call for a woo.

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

That should do, I'd say. Congratulations man, life will never be the same, but you'll find you wouldn't change a thing! --UU - natter 08:15, Apr 15

Many congratulations Mordillo, now go and have responsibilities and tell me if life is actually out there. --ChiefjusticePS2 06:14, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

You'le a poopy

Thele, I thaid it! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 08:51, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

You shot who in the what now? --UU - natter 09:00, Apr 15

I shot a crappy music video in the desert. For which I should be shot. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 09:18, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

Apr 15th, 2010 • Issue 84 • News? Where we're going, we don't need... News...

Something Scary This Way "Comes" By Skinfan13 A recent infestation of glowing dildos has taken over the front page of Uncyclopedia. Many users were shocked on April 11th when they opened up their web browsers and were treated to bright green replicas of EugeneKay's penis. Everywhere. Even poor anti-Semite Mel Gibson couldn't escape the wrath of the glowing dick. And the reason for the Scream in Edvard Munch's famous painting was revealed - turns out to have been caused by a hoard of giant glowing EugeneKay penises - an understandable reaction. When asked to comment on the matter, users simply refused to acknowledge that they had seen the penises at all. "Well, I for one didn't notice anything. Glowing penii are so common around here that these particular examples of illuminated manhood really didn't make an impression..." said Aleister in Chains. HELPME had a different outlook on the whole matter: "of course I noticed, how couldn't I? They were everywhere!" he exclusively told our intrepid reporter. Random internet traffic took notice of the infestation as well, with 127.0.0.1 commenting" "Ballsack!!!11 alolololololololooll pasfsdkjfhaelkfjds PENIS PENIS PENIS." He was promptly banned. The infestation passed almost as quickly as it came and a sense of normalcy returned to the main page when the penises retreated into the dark and abysmal graveyard of unused image files. By April 13th, all traces of the Great Penis Invasion of April 11-13 2010 (as it is now being called) were gone. There are, however, unconfirmed reports that the menace still lingers close to the main page, just waiting to strike again soon. I See IC All At Sea By UU It has come to the attention of our ever-vigilant reporters (largely because Why? has been bugging us to write a story about it) that Why? has decided to stand down as Admiral of Imperial Colonization, the organisation that somewhat amusingly styles itself after British Imperialism, but uses American spelling. We didn't need to ask the outgoing Admiral for a comment, as he was falling over himself to give us plenty, so we randomly selected the following: "I'm anal for accuracy", he told us. Among other things. Anyway, if you want to follow in Why?'s footsteps, and those of his illustrious predecessors in charge of the Colonization project, you can sign up to be considered for the post here. If it helps, you may wear a nice hat (please provide your own hat).

Check out these pages! The seed of a good idea It's a surprise, it says so in the name... Tell Uncle Dex everything. Everything... From our logs: 17:54, 14 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.185.215.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (On the charge of flagrant asshattery while in posession of an internet connection, I find you incredibly guilty) 20:05, 13 April 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I never gave you an inaugural joke ban? I blame you.) 23:03, 12 April 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.55.13.71 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (And the LORD said unto me: "Go ye, and smite the page blankers; they are as shit upon My heavenly sandal") 14:44, 11 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS blocked 79.73.5.86 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (You sound clever, and therefore I am blocking you to ensure that your talents are not wasted on us.) 21:19, 11 April 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a random ban time ‎ (chose your own adventure) Biopic of the Week Continuing our glorious occasional tradition of bio-ing people who haven't contributed for months and half the newer members of the wiki will never have heard of, let's have a look at Andorin Kato. An Uncyc stalwart since 2006, Andorin was voting on VFD, QVFDing stuff and writing good articles when most of today's active users were in short trousers (they're still in short trousers, of course, but it's been a while). In true on-the-ball Uncyc fashion, this hard work was recognised when Andorin was made UotM in November 2009. He was less than thrilled. The nostalgic return of Cajek Ban of the Week 11:39, 14 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (About time I did this. It's been a good two weeks and I haven't done yet.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticePS2 20:31, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

rabbit excretes japan

that image is a very central part of no link clicking 9272.188.101.60 05:16, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Uh, what? --UU - natter 08:21, Apr 16

Feature

A suggestion for a one-time thing here. Since no admin put up a feature today until now, almost a half day into it, let's let Iwillkillyou's feature stay for a day and a half as well, and then go back to the regular order. Doesn't seem fair that on his FIRST feature after being here so long he'll only get half-a-day. What say U,U? Thanks, Aleister sans chains 11:05 16 4 mmx

TBH, I'm exhausted doing that much featuring, particularly because it required me to concentrate and try to get things right and all that bollocks. I think this will very much depend on which admins are around over the weekend, and if any of them can be bothered to do any featuring. I expect not to be around at the weekend, so that counts me out. Being as this has happened before though, and other people have seen their article featured for a few hours, I dunno if a special case will be made. Why not watch and see what happens? --UU - natter 11:10, Apr 16

OK. Is there someway to go into the featured version now and link the words in the lead "Emo Girl" to the page so when someone clicks there it redirects? When I had In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida up a major mistake I made was to previously link the first large notice on the page to 'Hippies', which was unprotected, so I had to go into hippies a few times to clean up vandal droppings. Anyway, a small point. I'm very happy for Iwillkillyou, it's fun to see his page featured. Al a few minutes later

You're old enough to vote I assume

Who you voting for? I'll vote for whoever you are because it's probably more right than whatever I may decide autonomously.    Orian57    Talk   00:22 17 April 2010

My voting choices are rarely wise. My first ever vote went on the Legalise Cannabis party, and I've made similarly relevant choices ever since. Besides, whoever you vote for, the politicians always end up in charge, which is a deplorable state of affairs. --UU - natter 08:36, Apr 21

My future feature article

Could you review this and see if it's feature worthy? OK, so I'm joking about the review. But I literally loled at this about three times in a row. Four. OK, just looked at it again. Five. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:40, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

i am still around

i haven't made an edit in two weeks, but i would still like to be 'back'. so i'm just hanging around on your talk page. (oh god, is this what orian feels like? it feels good.) anyway, give me something to do, o mighty uncyclopedia overlord, so that i might get off my lazy ass and contribute. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 04:24, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

This Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 06:56, Apr 21 2010 UTC

Ohai Gerald. Y'know, I was about to pop to your talk page and ask if this was your way of avoiding burnout... Anyway, if you want something to do, there's this which currently has no content. I believe you are familiar with our house editorial style, so would you mind running up an article on the exciting new Uncyclopedia Facebook page, as handily linked in the site message, on a freelance basis? And by "freelance", I of course mean the "free" part most of all. --UU - natter 08:33, Apr 21

But...

You're not allowed to leave! Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 01:30, Apr 22 2010 UTC

If you're doing this to avoid burnout, good for you. Take a much needed break. But if that's not the reason, WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU HERE? With love, King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:24, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

File:UUndercyc.jpg

Oh my gosh that has to be the cutest thing ever. I noticed little UUette! Ha! That's awesome! Oh, and come back you aren't so dang busy! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 04:58, Apr 22 2010

Opinion on Uncyc constitution

Here. What do you think? Also, my talk page is sponsored by cronyism. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Giratina CUN|IC Kill | 12:40, April 30, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1 May

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost: Special Weekend edition

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here

The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. By PuppyOnTheRadio "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still struggling going strong. There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves." One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, RDB PuppyOnTheRadio. And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia

Check out these pages! UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out Looks who's out of the closet. The most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years From our logs: Flammable blocked 86.171.18.85 with an expiry time of infinite ‎(YOU ARE SO COOL SO COOL AWESOME LOL) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 91.195.183.211 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Ah, that may be true, but you are a wanker, so it evens out) Olipro blocked 92.4.117.223 with an expiry time of infinite (YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ARSE WHILE WATCHING A YANKEES GAME?) Mordillo blocked 217.28.207.226 with an expiry time of 1 week (time's up! you need to go to the toilet to do some poopy!) RabbiTechno blocked 91.195.183.213 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Cyberbullying. Matthew R. would like to point out that while he may be gay, you are banned) Olipro blocked YOUR TOO SLOW! with an expiry time of infinite ‎(your spelling is shit, it's spelt "YOU'RE" ... so that means you're a fucking retard) ChiefjusticeDS blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 days ‎(Blessed be the Uncyclopedia admins for they shall lead us to the promised land, also bye bye!) Mordillo blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 years (It took them 40 years not 40 days you bloody heathen) Biopic of the Week What can anyone say about Maniac1075. There are rumours that he is not an individual, but rather a multinational conglomerate of authors who do nothing but write quality articles on an extremely high rate. Or at least on an extreme high. However you look at it his contributions to date have been fast and furious. There is definitely something odd with him at least. If nothing else, he has a scarily in-depth knowledge of the world of professional wrestling. In fact he has been nominated as both Writer of the month and Potatochopper of the month. There is a particular school of though that says that these fields here should be filled in with any old garbage in order to ensure that both the left and the right hand sides of the USP are of the same length. While we appreciate this sentiment, the truth is that the USP is known to be constantly at bursting point with information that we can't fit into one column, and so this right hand column is essential for the stuff that we can't fit elsewhere. SCROTUM The above section is not a prime example of the statement in the section above. Please feel free to ignore it.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:00, 1 May 2010

Ok

Did you want to do that thing I beat you to last month? Al des chain 16:09 2 5 MMX

Given that I am ill, busy, and still pissed off that a Wizard Did It got featured, and therefore just not active at present, knock yourself out. --UU - natter 09:34, May 3

Maybe too late, looks like a bandwagon has been built for Fredd, a worthy winner. But Nach should really get wotm at some point soon. I do like the wotm clubhouse by the way, a very nice view of the bay from there. Get well soon, not so busy, and piss on the Wizard instead of about it. But seriously, get well, and it's good to take breaks from here from time-to-time. User:BensonAleister in Chains|Al sans chains]] 17:11 3 5 MMX

I was gone on vacation for a little over a week, and a whole lot seems to have changed.

1. A Wizard Did It got featured. I've seen articles that were much longer than this fail VFH because they were too short. Maybe it got featured because it was an inside joke.
2. People used to be against inside jokes getting featured, and they would fail VFH. Now it seems people want inside jokes.
3. More first-person articles became features of the month than encyclopedic articles. Now it appears people are against first-person articles.
4. "Watching" is now "following." But it still says "my watchlist" instead of "my followlist," which could confuse new users (actually, it confused me).
5. I tried starting a new page, and Uncyclopedia wouldn't let me. I tried again with a different page, and it still wouldn't let me. Has the procedure changed, or have I been blocked from starting new pages?
6. ADDITION: I just noticed it now lists pages I'm following on my user page. I never tried to put that there and do not want that there, but apparently it's now the default unless you shut it off. Can it be changed so that will not show unless we choose to have it show? I don't particularly need the world to know what I'm looking at, and believe I should be able to make that decision for myself.

King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:58, May 5, 2010 (UTC)

1. I'm still not here because that piece of crap got featured (and because I'm busy). Thing is, it's simply because the community here is quite small at any one time, and so three or four active users taking time out, and a couple more returning or joining can significantly change the perceived "taste" of the community. Still sucks, as far as I'm concerned, though.
2. See above.
3. See above above.
4. Wikia suck.
5. No idea - I haven't been here, or tried to create a new page, in a while now. I suggest you see above.
6. Oh fuck, that's awful. See above above. And add the word "fucking" in between the other two words. --UU - natter 08:41, May 6

Additional: your preferences do now include the option, under "followed pages" to "Make my followed pages lists private". Tick that, and hey presto! Wikia still suck, though. --UU - natter 08:49, May 6

Thanks for your comments; I appreciate it. Now see below.

1. ANOTHER ADDITION: It's almost impossible to sign in using Internet Explorer. I tried Firefox and it took me three tries before I could log in. User:Aleister in Chains actually had to start a new user name because he couldn't sign in. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:36, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

1. And you're expecting someone who is all but inactive at present to do what about it, exactly? --UU - natter 08:03, May 7

Wave your magic wand and fix everything, of course. Also, as this is a Wikia-wide thing, Mordillo said the place to complain--or compliment--the changes I mentioned starting in no. 4 and in additions is here. They've already reversed one of the changes I complained about--other people did too, but I'll be happy to take all the credit.

Also I hope your break from Uncyclopedia helps--I took a break and came back upset about what's been happening. Oh well. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:50, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recent UOTM campaign.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:15, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

---

Mecca Vice will skip your home

"Much thanks!"

--Funnybony    06:57, May 3

Er...

I'm here to say sorry for voting for A wizard did it. I seriously thought it wouldn't make it. If I had known it would have, I would have gone against in a heartbeat. So, uh..yeah. Sucks that it was featured, I think. =/ I outlined why on the top 10/April talk page.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 19:24, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, vote the way you want and feel - don't apologise for your voting. This is the thing about a community, different people feel different ways. There have been features I don't like before, and there will be again. This one pisses me off more than any other, admittedly, but it's not the end of the world. --UU - natter 20:04, May 7

Oh stop being so civil. Lay into me.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 20:09, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

/Me lays into HELPME and promptly dies of AIDS contracted either from HELPME or HELPME's mother/ There you go; since UU is mature and won't rise to you. --ChiefjusticePS2 21:59, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

It's not my fault I have AIDS. Blame Orian.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 22:18, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

I beg your pardon!? I'm a VIRGIN! I'm saving myself for my civil partner. It's the way God wanted it, you permiscuous faggot.    Orian57    Talk   20:46 10 May 2010

Ever wonder why you don't have a civil partner yet? It's because you have AIDS.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 22:01, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

No it's because God gave you aids for being a sinner. Or something. :( You make me sad Hep, I though we could have had something.    Orian57    Talk   22:54 10 May 2010

Oh, you know I love you.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 19:22, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

Discordianism and Under User

You may know that, while Discordianism got 13 for votes, it didn't pass VFH. I'm asking all those who voted no for suggestions for improving the article. I know you said as written it didn't work for you, so any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated, and other formal talk. Thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:02, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

ADDITION: If you post any comments you might have on Talk:Discordianism, that would be great. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:35, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

I'm hardly on here, and I haven't done a review in months. I doubt you'll be getting a whole bunch of feedback from me on this one. --UU - natter 13:30, May 11

YOU HAVE AIDS!    Orian57    Talk   23:11 10 May 2010

Geezus Why? Anyone ever tell you not to change your messages? Now that there's not mention of "Formal talk" in your message I just look like a cunt now. :(    Orian57    Talk   01:17 11 May 2010

Oh, sorry. I didn't realize your comment was related to my post--I thought it was random humour. I fixed it for you. Also what's wrong with how cunts look? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:36, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

What's right with them? I mean even if they aren't bleeding they're pretty horrible bacteria harbours and just eugh, yuck.    Orian57    Talk   01:37 11 May 2010

Penises look pretty horrible when they bleed too. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:39, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

How often does your penis bleed? Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 03:14, May 11 2010 UTC

Oh you're cyberbullying me now?

Proof that power corrupts. And I did try. I nomminated that ant thing and nobody liked it. And then I couldn't find any good ideas. I even went looking for some and they didn't get further than title stage before they fell apart. :( I tried, OK? Besides kinda busy now, I got my first proper job like one that pays and is going to expire in 6 months.    Orian57    Talk   20:08 13 May 2010

I love you

Just thought I should point that out. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 12:00, Jun 2 2010 UTC

Well it's nice to see that you're secure in your masculinity, Puppy. ;) --Ozymandiaz 13:33, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

I love myself. But them I'm secure in my masturbationity. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:08, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

I love myself too! *bends down to kiss reflection in lake* --Ozymandiaz 18:32, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

Please forgive me my skepticism

I know admins do the impossible on a regular basic, but you did 76 in-depth Pee Reviews in 24 hours? User:Boomer/People for the Evaluation of Excrement and Influencing Nominations for Greatness (I told ChiefjusticeDS about this too.) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:14, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

When was this?    Orian57    Talk   19:54 2 June 2010

The beginning of June. Check the handily provided link. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:57, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Yes he did, and anyone who disagrees is welcome to step outside with me in order to face a bit of rough and tumble. --ChiefjusticePS2 20:29, June 2, 2010 (UTC)