User talk:Under user/Archive 25

REIKI!

Would you like someone to massage your temples a bit for improved feeling? ~ 12:24, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

I liked your creative "reservation" of the privilege. --UU - natter 12:26, Dec 15

IS ALL MINE! ~ 12:26, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

/me gives UU a facial/ Yeah take it bitch. let me just rub that all in and you'll be beautiful in no time.    Orian57    Talk   16:47 15 December 2009

I've got the Cucumber for his eyes! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:44, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

But Woody! I already sliced the cucumber!    Orian57    Talk   18:39 15 December 2009

Pies

The mince pies! They're... they're growing! How is it possible?! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 05:59, Dec 17 2009

Natural evolution. They grew reproductive organs and started multiplying. It's the only explanation. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 06:07 • Thursday, 17-12-2009

Thats... disturbing... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 05:13, Dec 18 2009

I know it's hard for a kid like yourself to take it in at once, but it's the truth. Mince pie can reproduce, it's a scientifuckally proven fact! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 14:57 • Friday, 18-12-2009

Amelie page

Why did you huff it? Is there some rule about new pages being too short and/or unfunny?

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:31, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

---

Cut me some slack, I'm lazy busy

Thanks! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 20:26, 18 December 2009

Pee Review backlog

It's not as bad as it was before, but after being caught up the Pee Reviews-in-waiting are starting to pile up again. Could you do that thing you did before to get people to hop on the bandwagon and get to pee reviewing? It would be great if we could start the new year with it caught up. And while I'm here there's no feature article scheduled for tomorrow. Addition: Just got added for the end of today, which I imagine will extend to tomorrow. Happy editing! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:38, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

Partly my fault guys, I've not been available as much as usual,and now with the snow chaos and general illness throughout the force I am having to work 16 hour shifts. I'm still reviewing when I can, but it isn't happening as much as I anticipated it would this month. I will still try to get the one I have booked done tomorrow night. With regard to the backlog, it isn't too bad right now and a call to arms, isn't called for just yet, at this time of year you are less likely to get a lively response to it. Just my opinion. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:37, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

Chiefster, yes, there would be less of a backlog if you were currently doing the work of 10 reviewers like you have been, instead of doing the work of a mere four or five. If we could just get half a dozen more people to do one a month, and a few to do two, we'd be caught up. As much as I appreciate all the work you've done, we need to attract others to do more reviews. You may be right that it's not bad enough for a "call to arms," I don't know. But as for the time of year, there's a lot of people who are finished with finals and just finishing with school before winter/spring break. They got time on their hands right now. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:54, December 19, 2009 (UTC)

Well, now I'm back, and I don't see any problem. I'll only issue some kind of call to arms if the queue is a couple of pages long and growing. Looks well within limits to me, particularly compared to what I have seen in the past. Plus, I'm about to start my hols, so I'll probably pick up a few myself shortly. --UU - natter 11:54, Dec 22

Halp?

Would you mind, when you got the time, to unprotect the articles for the Aristocrats? I'm on my in laws' machine and it's a torture, I could barely operate it to get the summary in place and I can't work it any longer. Please? Pretty please with a mince pie on top? ~ 22:34, December 19, 2009 (UTC)

I'll get started on it, but may not finish, being as I'm on my mum's computer and she'll need it herself shortly! --UU - natter 09:46, Dec 20

Drama

Hi, I have just wrote an article that parodies the social phenomenon on Uncyclopedia known as Drama. Seeing as its become a bit of a problem in the past few months (years?) I thought it would be quite cool to make a section at the bottom of the article about other users' opinions of Drama. So I thought I'd invite you to write one, preferably humourous. It's no big deal if you don't want to, but if you are interested, you can come up with a quote and either leave it here on your talk page and I'll add it later, or you can go straight to the article itself and add it there. Any suggestions on improvement are also welcome. Thnx. --Matfen 00:49, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Article link here.

Uhh, my views on this are that people should just get on with writing stuff. And not put loads of quotes from users in a mainspace article, which carries more than a whiff of vanity on top of the drama. --UU - natter 12:03, Dec 22

PEE problem

Hi UU, Happy Christmas.

Anyway, I was checking reviews into the list today and I came across this one by Puppy. I recall that you warned him against reviewing in such a style in July, so I decided that the best thing to do would be to check it in as a review without depth. Do you think that this was the right way to go? I feel a bit harsh saying no to it, but I think that the review makes it exceptionally difficult to extract meaningful feedback on improving the article, equally, I think Puppy devoted a great deal of time and effort to it's production. I left an override next to the review in the maintenance box so you can change it if you think I made the wrong call. Thanks. --ChiefjusticeDS 23:11, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

I'd still call it in-depth, and here's why: first, as you say, it's clear that time has been spent on this review, and if you take the time to read, there is enough feedback to work with; second, the somewhat verbose style dovetails somewhat with the style of the article being reviewed, so it's fair to assume that if the author can write in such a style, and expect others to find humour in it, they can also read a review in that style, ,and find the feedback in it. Granted, I wouldn't want to see every review done in that fashion, but I don't think it's that huge a deal here. Of course, the opinion of whoever is doing the checking at the time is the one that really counts, unless I feel strongly enough to override them, which I rarely do - but you asked my opinion, and there you have it. --UU - natter 09:23, Dec 22

Appreciated, I will take a second look. --ChiefjusticeDS 09:35, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

Apologies

Sorry as regard signature. I was trying to change the one on the drama article. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:30, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

You can have more than one sig page, y'know. SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:33, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

Don't worry

It really isn't about what I like and/or what you like. That comedy is relative subjective is not the crux since we agree; it is how we expect others to act upon it. You cannot convince me there is any absolute value to an article's featureworthiness either. You're more experienced here than I am, and even I have already noticed totally different factors. I think I don't have to list them. Also, if you wanted the last word on said forum you just got it: I got too many edit conflicts to write it a fourth time. This was what I wanted to say anyway. It won't matter to anyone what I add to it so I'll quit wasting my time there. This thing is something I cannot watch - as per what I said on the forum - so I have no choice but to quit. I'm really sorry you, as an admin, take the stance you take. Of course everyone is entitled to an opinion but come on. It is too easy to abuse the right - so I cannot keep my hands off, and while that just turns into a drama - I'm not dumb enough to continue. That's why I saved my comments for when I decided to leave, too. The idea of competing writers voting against each other on a website? Yeah, nobody is being a dick. -- Style  Guide 12:58, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

Almost forgot - none of those joke nominations (Essay..., the Pee thereof, and Classical Satire - yes that too) had nothing to do with my decision to leave. Too bad they coincided, it gives a false impression of my intentions. On the other hand, they go nicely hand in hand to shed light on the stiffness of the site. Well Classical Satire was only half a joke-nom: I half thought it had feature potential since it wasn't intentionally bad. It was just intentionally sardonic, which I thought people would notice. Not many did, it seems. -- Style  Guide 13:40, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

"I'm really sorry you, as an admin, take the stance you take" - why? Now it sounds like you're implying something. My views on this have nothing to do with my being an admin - I don't ban anyone or threaten to because I don't agree with the way they're voting! ;-) Anyway, I do see your point, I understand where you're coming from, but I'm going to have to continue to disagree - having the freedom to vote at all necessarily means having the freedom to vote against. An example: Filial Piety (again). That gets nommed (for the thousandth time), and two or three regular, decent users vote for it, as has happened in the past; should I then not vote against it? No chance - even though it appears to be my sense of humour against theirs, I don't find it funny, so I'm voting it down - end of. Occasionally, good articles don't make it at one time or another for whatever reason - it happens, deal with it; most of the time that gets fixed by bringing it back in a few months when the regular voter roster has changed. I honestly thought Lobster was one of the funniest things that I've been involved with, and expected it to ace VFH - instead it got voted down, and according to DJI it's a "crusty wank sock". OK, I'll bring back something funnier next time, it's not the end of the world.

And if you honestly think votes are being prejudiced by some kind of sense of competition, I'm going to have to disagree with you there as well - I vote for what I find funny, and I believe most others do too. I have never seen votes that I thought were cast for competitive reasons, and if you see any, please bring 'em to my attention, so me and my banhammer can have words with the individual involved. Ditto any kind of cliquey voting. I agree there shouldn't be any kind of dickish voting, but the way forward is not to ask people to refrain from voting one way based on how others have voted. That way lies the way of the sheep. --UU - natter 12:40, Dec 23

Re: DDR

As I mentioned in the VFD discussion, please (1) userfy to User:Pentium5dot1/Storage facility/DDR, preferably preserving the history so that a move to Illogicopedia can be considered in the future, and (2) recreate DDR as a redirect to Dance Dance Revolution. Thank you very much. --Pentium5dot1 (semi-retired) t~^_^~c 19:02, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

Done and done. --UU - natter 12:51, Dec 23

Why did you delete my article?

Are you on drugs? – Preceding unsigned comment added by 72.83.66.151 (talk • contribs)

Yes, UU is notorious for his illicit drug use. Only just got back from rehabiliation. You're better off going away, as he is a madman that cannot be reasoned with. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 23:12, Dec 22 2009

He's ODing on mince pies. That's a strange English habit. You wouldn't get it. ~ 23:14, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

You can never OD on mince pies. And I deleted the page because it was essentially a one-liner, and a penis joke at that. If you intend to make it a bigger, better, less penis-y article, then try again, and use the {{construction}} tag - which will give you seven days without fear of deletion to get it into order. --UU - natter 12:49, Dec 23

F-Troop

Okay, so this page was huffed, but if you could return the page, please return it as "User:MrCleveland/F-Troop". By then, I could make the article better...or not.MrCleveland 19:56, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

Looks like Max beat me to it... --UU - natter 12:56, Dec 23

Knew there was a reason I liked you

You sir have your head screwed on right. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 23:19, Dec 22 2009

 For. --ChiefjusticeDS 23:15, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

i made a follow up commennt, can i have some praise too please?    Orian57    Talk   23:28 23 December 2009

Merry Christmas also...

...and also my deepest sympathy for being as sad as me and logging in here on Christmas morning;)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:31, December 25, 2009 (UTC)

I am an admin on a comedy wiki - it's pretty much scientifically proven I have no life! Good to see ya, BTW. --UU - natter 10:33, Dec 25

Ha ha! Loser. Also, this isn't my talkpage. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 11:56, December 25, 2009 (UTC)

You're a poopy. A poopy, I tell you. :(

SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 12:04 • Friday, 25-12-2009

Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 12:14, December 25, 2009 (UTC)

If you want another helping of Pee Review

(Just to let you know I posted this or a variation of this on the user talk pages of some users who were recently reviewed in a manner that may have been less than satisfactory).

Yes, you may well already know this. But just a reminder that if a Pee Review by any reviewer, including me, doesn't help you in the way you hoped, you are free to request another one. Happy editing! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  17:43, December 25, 2009 (UTC)

My third ban

Does that mean I'm finally a real boy? Pup

You think you're a man/ but you're only a boy/ you think you're a man/ you are only a toy -- fucking love that song.    Orian57    Talk   00:47 26 December 2009

Merry seXXXmas

I dunno why I made the header look like an unforgivable porno title, but I'm sure you apreciate the sentiment. I regret that once again I have failed to finish (in fact start) this seasons holiday short, but I hope that by valantines day I'll have got my act together. Also very glad to hear I've been placed on the noughty list because I am a very bad boy. /the crack of a whip can be heard off stage/ may pop in and out (LOL TAHTS JUST LIEK INUENDOO!) but really hope to make a full return, like with writing and shit, in the new year.    Orian57    Talk   00:47 26 December 2009

Roy billings

I would reaaaally really reaally like that page back please! --Rudyska 18:13, December 27, 2009 (UTC)

OK, first of all, you explain why there was a phone number on it, and how it's not vanity. If I believe you on both counts, you get the page back. Deal? --UU - natter 09:16, Dec 29

Bambifan101

Are you familiar with this particular vandal? He has a long history of inane vandalism that he's quite proud of. He's been bothering us on Uncyclopedia for a long time, and he targets articles about children's shows that he's far too old to watch. I'd recommend protecting those articles if this tendency didn't make him so easy to catch. Another couple of things he likes to do is deny who he is without being provoked, and pretend his sockpuppetry is not completely obvious. I admit I do have a little doubt about BHMMF, but he's still pretty suspicious. JasonDude, though, is pretty much a sure thing. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:26, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

Bambifan's a very disturbed guy/girl. I'd do what I can if I were you but s/he obviously suffers from an extreme case of histrionic personality disorder so the best thing to do is give him/her as little attention as possible. I've crossed paths with User:Collectonian before and she's a nasty piece of work but the way Bambifan treats her is beyond the pale. --Ozymandiaz 03:12, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

I'm kinda familiar with Tinkywinkyisgay, but not really - the guy is normally active when I'm not, so I'm mostly familiar with the bans. As such, a few seemingly innocuous edits aren't going to ring any bells with me. I'll have a word with Sannse. --UU - natter 08:08, Dec 28

Copy of that unbook.

Yeah, that Jesus Christ and the Philosophers stone one. I kinda forgot about it and things. Dump it in my userspace somewhere. --Reverse Genocide Cockatrices 22:58, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

There ya go. Shift it back to mainspace when it's done. Good luck! --UU - natter 09:18, Dec 29

I also put this in your userspace. Try using userspace for new ideas more often, it means you don't have to worry about admins on huffing sprees if you forget them for a few days! --UU - natter 09:59, Dec 29

Copy of that Wank_bank

Hi Mordello,

I'd quite like a copy of the Wank bank article as I had mentioned I was intending on finishing in the coming weeks. Also since the last edit I had done 2 paragraphs and some formatting.

I will not be on the net to reply to this for a couple of days. As I am in remote NZ.

Thanks, R – Preceding unsigned comment added by 125.239.2.214 (talk • contribs)

I am a valid person and my edits matter. I am a valid person and my edits matter. I am a valid person and my edits matter.    Orian57    Talk   03:35 29 December 2009

Could somebody please revert that twit's edits? Pup

OK, "R", here's the deal: I'm not going to restore that to the mainspace, because it was left in an unfinished state for a week, and you say you plan to finish it "in the coming weeks". If you plan to take your time over it, the best thing to do is get an account (or are you the NewUser who started it?) Once you have an account, I can restore the article to your userspace for you to finish at your leisure, with no fear of deletion, and then you can put it in mainspace when it's done, and hopefully won't get deleted again. So tell me your user name, and I'll give you the article - OK? --UU - natter 09:24, Dec 29

Am I the only one to notice he called UU Mordello? ~ 14:47, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

Nope. I was taking it as a compliment. --UU - natter 14:49, Dec 29

Perhaps he was referring to this? ~ 14:51, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous remark. --UU - natter 14:57, Dec 29

Those are some nice jugs though...    Orian57    Talk   20:24 29 December 2009

Oh hey I see you banned the blanker.

I reverted his edit because he was stupid. I hope he doesn't have a dynamic IP or something similar. --Reverse Genocide Cockatrices 11:03, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

Odd request

i've just done a pee of kreator where i may be too harsh. if you - or anyone else - would like to check it out and soften it somehow if needed I'd appreciate it. Pup

I have an odd request too that involves a rope, dry ice and several sticks of butter. I'll keep it off the wiki for decency's sake. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 15:44, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery! - December something!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that took a long enough vacation to make former President Bush jealous.

December 17^th, 2009• Issue 70 • Fuck You! I Felt Like It!

UnSignpost and random editor return from two month break, find that not much has changed By THEDUDEMAN After 2 months, one would think that things would change. But from the looks of it, nothing really has for Uncyclopedia in the past few months with out UnSignpost. In particular, the problems in caring, changing things, doing other things and caring have gone from the problems of two months ago, to the problems of now, with nothing really changing. The causes of these problems, discovered after much digging through archives seems to be the general Nobody cares aditude of the site, and the general populations inability to really change anything, because they don't care. A random user who had been missing since around the last issue of UnSignpost made this comment. "Well, when I left, uncyc had been having its own problems and everyone had been complaining about the same things for some time and nobody really cared enough to do anything, or just couldn't make anything happen." says THEDUDEMAN, who had been missing since late September. "I thought I'd come back and see what was happening in the world of Uncyclopedia, and by the looks of it, nothing has changed" While the general population of Uncyclopedia has been alerted to these aging problems, nobody has raised any fuss to get any of them solved. It seems nothing will ever happen because as they all say, nobody cares. UU notices return of USP, hijacks article for own nefarious ends By UU Yeah, that title pretty much gives it away - evil admin UU has hijacked this section of the USP to announce two festive initiatives: the Mince Pie contest, and the Ban Parto-ho-ho-l, both of which are to be found on his userpage. So if you think you can eat more mince pies this Christmas than UU or current runaway leader Barry Gibb of Bee Gees fame, or if you want to request a friendly festive joke ban for one of your Uncyc chums, get yourselves across to the most festive userpage on the wiki! YOU ARE ALL LAZY TALLYWHACKERS! An Editorial. By The Woodburninator Alright you lazy sons of bitches (no offense to Zana, of course), what in the hell have you been doing these last few months? Gerry takes time away from this awful place for, like 3 months, and no one is able to do a single UnSignpost? Not once. SINCE OCTOBER! Have we as a community forgotten the fine, upstanding tradition that this here barely read online journal has kept going since May of 2008? It is time for a little history lesson boys and girls (No offense to Zombiebaron, of course). The Post was started by Cajek and Skully in May of 2008. That's really as far as I got with my research though, so I guess your history lesson is over. Regardless, how many amazing stories have been broken from the fine investigative journaling over the years? Like the time we broke the story that the UnSignpost was starting up. Or the time we told everyone Spang's talkpage was destroying the Wikia servers. A problem that still haunts us today. Without this venerable post, those stories never would have been unleashed upon the moronic and ignorant public that includes you, who are both a moron and ignorant. We need this thing to bring us the news, and make us laugh. We need this thing for the sake of parody. But, above anything else, we need this post in order to waste Dexter's time when he's forced to deliver them. Have you seen his edits around here over the past few weeks? That guy's getting to be WAY too useful, and if we don't stop him now, who knows what he'll do next. Fix VFH? Win Last person to edit wins? Nip this in the bud Uncyc. Nip this in the fucking bud.

Check out these pages! A Caption Contest... or something... Some sort of war of templates? WTF? Shit like this still going on... Really? From our logs: 19:53, December 15, 2009 Mordillo blocked Bobbinator with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (end of the line, fuckwit. I'm going to track down your IP address and report it to the abuse department of your ISP. run and hide motherfucker, run and hide.) 16:56, December 15, 2009 Under user blocked 209.175.13.46 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (oy, fuck off. no blanking, no cyberbullying, and NO personal details like phone numbers. GTFO.) 13:20, December 15, 2009 Mordillo blocked 199.43.172.254 with an expiry time of infinite ‎ ("199.43.172.254, causing trouble since 2005") BIOPIC OF THE WEEK AH, WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THEDUDEMAN? THE GUY EXHUDES DUDLINESS AT ALL TIMES DURING HIS TIME HERE. HE WON UNCYCLOPEDIAN OF THE MONTH IN AUGUST OF 2009. HE WON A PLS WHEN HE RE-WROTE DUDE, AN ARTICLE THAT LATER GOT FEATURED, AND FROM WHICH HE TAKES HIS NAMESAKE. HE HALFHEARTEDLY EVEN TRIED TO START THIS EDITION. HAS HE DONE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE COOL, NOTEWORTHY, AND I SHOULD BE TELLING YOU ABOUT? PROBABLY. BUT RESEARCHING ANY OF THAT WOULD FORCE ME TO GO ONTO HIS USERPAGE, AND SINCE I AM AT WORK, I AM UNABLE TO ACTUALY DO THAT. INSTEAD I'LL JUST STICK TO THE ALL CAPS GIMMICK IN A COY TIE-IN TO HIS NAME. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THEDUDEMAN. Quote of the Week <zim_ulator> no penis involved here LadyCS has left #uncyclopedia <DrSkullthumper> You just lost LadyCS's interest Old School Featured Article of the Week MonthTri-Month Let Someone Else Do It tm is every intelligent person's philosophy of life. There are plenty of things that if we stop doing them for a long enough time, some other sucker with less patience and a greater sense of responsibility will do them instead. This is an established law of our social reality, and it is our obligation to uphold it. VFD Keep vote of the week. Keep The less use something is, the more I identify with it. mAttlobster. (hello) 22:41, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:47, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

So I'm too lazy for your userpage...

I refuse to count the Mince Pies you have there. My estimate is Eleventy Billion, but I could be way off. So, how many are you at, and when do you stop? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:45, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

I think I'm averaging less than one a day still, although I've just cooked up a batch of my very own for a family gathering in a day or so, and they're really rather fine, so the family may yet not see a single one of 'em. When do I stop? At the end of January 1st, or when they're all gone. Whichever happens sooner (clue: I don't think it'll be January 1st). --UU - natter 16:50, Dec 30

BOO!    Orian57    Talk   18:53 30 December 2009

It's not Halloween you fool. "Happy New Year" is the expected greeting around this time of year. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:31, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

silly me! I'm always getting things wrong! It's so comical! I failed every test at school! It's so comical! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'm always getting things wrong.    Orian57    Talk   22:08 30 December 2009

If you're about right now, get over to RotM and break the three-way tie (hint: vote Necropaxx). --UU - natter 09:46, Dec 31

Whore.    Orian57    Talk   10:52 31 December 2009

If you're trying your best to do it on someone else's behalf, it's not whoring. Did you even read what I said about Necropaxx before casting your (unsigned) vote? Oh, and Happy New Year - hope 2010 brings you gainful employment, a successful finish to your novel and some hot bloke for you to do clearly un-natural things to ;-) --UU - natter 11:02, Dec 31

Oh I can't read -- I'm always doing things wrong -- it's so comical! And ta, you seem to have nailed precicely the top three things I'd like out of this year, and in a pretty decent order too, bonus points. I wish you a promotion to a higher, less satisfying workload, surprise triplets and er, more time for uncyclopedia. Have a good 'un :-)    Orian57    Talk   11:18 31 December 2009

Do you really make mince pies? Gosh, I miss those. Every now and then I'll tell someone who used to bake pies, "Gosh, I sure miss having a mince pie," and they'll say, "Yeah, those are good," but won't make me one. Maybe I need to stop telling someone who used to bake pies and tell someone who still does it. Darn Yankee Doodles. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:49, January 5, 2010 (UTC)

Please Monitor Monitor

Say Under user I screwed up. I marked Monitor to be Proofread but then nobody, including me, ever got around to proofreading it. I just proofread it. Could you or some other Admin type fix it so the proofread version is featured? The currently-to-be-featured version has some major goofs. As Modusoperandi moved this to the feature cue I put a note there too, but am also putting one here in case he doesn't see it in time. Thanks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:02, December 31, 2009 (UTC)

The newest edit is always featured, as my understanding anyway. and it can change on the feature day aswell.    Orian57    Talk   21:27 31 December 2009

I remember reading about a previous case where an admin changed the featured version--but perhaps that was after it already appeared as featured. So you may well be right; if so, that would make things easier. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:30, December 31, 2009 (UTC)

Apparently, it doesn't work that way. The featured version is the unproofread version, starting out with a grammatical error: "Monitors are a computer peripheral...." It has other errors that were corrected in later edits, and even has the needs-to-be-proofread tag on it. So can it be changed so a corrected version is featured? Thanks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:01, January 1, 2010 (UTC)

Oh right, I see what you mean, yeah. you will need an admin to change that. But it doesn't really matter, most people will just read what's there and not bother clicking the star.    Orian57    Talk   06:10 3 January 2010

award thing

	Reviewer of the Month December 2009

-- Roman Dog Bird 01:20, January 1, 2010 (UTC)

Oh bugger. I still don't believe in giving awards to people who've already won 'em when there are deserving new winners around. --UU - natter 09:49, Jan 3

Commiserations UU. --ChiefjusticeDS 10:14, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

Pee Review

I haz done ure review. Congrats on ROTM btw. --Matfen 15:55, January 1, 2010 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Ich Bin Ein Celebrity Juden, Get Me Out Of Here!

UotM thanks

'Sincere Thanks'

Thank you very much for helping to make me December 2009's Uncyclopedian of the Month.

In the words of the immortal Sally Field, "You like me, you really like me!"

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~}

---

Congrats on the UotY nom! Here's hoping you win it! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 04:20, Jan 3 2010

Youyou

Hey UU, could you block this guy? He's been consistently vandalizing the Filipino article. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 07:08, 3 January 2010 (UTC)

Nevermind, MadMax got him. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 07:27, 3 January 2010 (UTC)

Hello, Selamat petang, G'day, Fush and Chups

Having read the kind words about you on the that page of the year thing page I just had to pop by and say hello. Shopping list is still probably my favourite article on the whole site. --Nikau 12:04, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

Good afternoon, thanks for dropping by, always good to have good folks drop in on my little talkpage, especially when they say nice things about stuff I wrote! Glad you like it - maybe I can top it one day! Your name is familiar - didn't you write Tradesmen? I rather enjoyed that one myself - hope you have more for us in the future. --UU - natter 13:01, Jan 4

Thank you for remembering, I'd have to say Hyperdrinking comes close though. Anyway, if by future you mean now then, yes, I do have more. Good to be acquainted, or re-acquainted as this was on my watchlist. --Nikau 13:46, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

Oh my god! Honeycomb biscuits are amazing! Like, really good. Try one.    Orian57    Talk   17:46 4 January 2010

I, er, wha? What brand? What flavour? And what prompted that outburst? --UU - natter 09:40, Jan 5

If we're going to start on honeycomb, at the gelato store I worked at once you could either have honeycomb or a waffle thingy in your gelato. When asked "would you like waffle or honeycomb? *pointing at display*", everyone always answered only "yes". --Nikau 09:51, January 5, 2010 (UTC)

I dun' get it.    Orian57    Talk   21:57 5 January 2010

I know it's late, don't bitch at me. Bitch.

I WILL FUCKING EAT YOUR FAMILY!!! Oh, and thanks for the vote :) --It's Magically Fucking Delicious

It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 20:53,4January,2010

Hey; that thing you did.

You huffed Hildegard von Bingen on VFD but I'd asked for it to be moved to User:Happytimes/VFD/ so that I might "fix" it. And by fix I might mean 'chop for parts'. So... if you could move it that would be great, and if not that's ok too. Thanks.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  05 Jan 2010 ~ 03:14 (UTC)

I stuck it here. If you specifically want it in your VFD space you can shift it again - I didn't notice that until I'd done it already. Good luck with whateveritis you want to do with it. --UU - natter 09:26, Jan 5

Ah, I see now. Thanks!  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  10 Jan 2010 ~ 04:56 (UTC)

Thanks UU!

Thank You For Finally Taking Out The Trash Unfortunately, the situation in the kitchen has not changed. I made it a point to not create a single dirty dish in this sink for the very purpose of demonstrating to you that the mess in the kitchen is not somehow our problem but is, in fact, your problem. Technically, that makes it my problem as well but said problem is one of inconvenience as opposed to the complete negligence inherent in your failure to clean up after yourself. It's also come to my attention that you and your friends have been urinating in the kitchen sink, despite the fact that it's full of dirty dishes. while your reluctance to touch the dishes is understandable it does not form a basis for me to empathize with you. While I shouldn't be bargaining with you again, I'll agree to clear a path to the bathroom sink so that everyone will have a place to urinate. All you need to do is simply dispose of the dirty dishes. We'll buy more at the flea market.

I finally pushed myself to loosen up and do a simple 2nd person escalation. I had a few years worth of memories to draw upon. It might have been the 80's but some things are universal. Thanks for your support!--    12:49, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome To Violence ...the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!....................................................

It's double shot Wednesday for templates! Quite the dichotomy too.--    16:24, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

DON'T FORGET TO STUDY THESE MOVIES TOO!

Goodness me! Another template! It's starting to look like my practice page in here! Thanks again UU! --    11:54, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Best used in the Bedroom

<3 ~Formerly Annoying Crap 06:23, 8 January 2010

VFD Issue

It appears that 2 or 3 (depending on how article age is counted) articles only about a day old have been nominated on VFD. Unless somebody changed with the VFD policy, I believe those nominations are invalid. --Mn-z 19:17, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Don't worry - it'll get picked up. In fact, it looks like it already did. --UU - natter 09:42, Jan 10

Opinions, views, abuse

I know your a busy chap since you've apprantly knocked your woman up, but I was hoping you'd give some feedbak on my latest abominations, not a review, just any stuff that would improve them or anything that stands out as just crap. I'll leave them here in hope you'll have a swatch - {Bildungsroman, Ketch Anbang}. /me Gervais/Breakdances away--Sycamore (Talk) 10:47, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Syc, good to see you writing again! I'm having a "bitty" time at present, snatching a few seconds here and there between lots of annoying little tasks at work. I'll have a look at your stuff during one of those, whenever I can. In return, as someone from the side of the Atlantic that may have heard of him, what do you make of Jose Mourinho? --UU - natter 10:44, Jan 12

I think its good from what I know about him. It’s nice and short. I felt that it could have more of him giving his views on football, he's a bit of a snot, and gets paid a lot for being - to my knowledge, not being a major football fan - a bit mediocre as a manager, so they're could be a some more direct stuff about justifying his methods and style. That’s all I've got, I think it’s a well formatted article that deserves a feature:)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:08, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

It's one of my favourite articles already. I'll definitely vote for it at january's top thre. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 11:13 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

Thanks guys - wasn't fishing for that, Syc's opinion is just one of the ones I always like having (not that I'm not flattered by yours, Fredd!) --UU - natter 12:50, Jan 12

OK Syc, here goes: Bildungsroman - ooh, nice idea, anthropomorphising the concept and then telling it in the classic style. I do like that. It's clever, and a good read, although I wonder if it may lack a true lol moment for the kids of today? Oh, and the bit about confused ancestry in the birth section makes no sense - did you miss something out there? I'd suggest looking to make more of the allusions to the classic books you refer to - placing him in a somewhat warped version of a key scene from each book at the appropriate stage. You can then mis-match these for further comic effect. Hope that makes sense - if not, I can elaborate later, when I'm not bolting a chicken sarnie! Opinion on Ketch to follow later when I get time for my jam sarnie. --UU - natter 12:50, Jan 12

Ketch Anbang - hmm, interesting. Can I suggest contrasting between this and the popular "hunt the scrunt", for comedic effect? Again, this is neat, and dry, and a good read. I enjoyed 'em both - fewer suggestions for Ketch, but that could be because I lack inspiration on tuesday afternoon. I'd suggest you pop Ketch up (heh) for a full review, but if you look at my suggestions for Bildungsroman, I'd be tempted to nom it for you. --UU - natter 14:43, Jan 12

Ta there, always a help, I'll look at the Bildungsroman one in the ways you suggest:) /me gets back to exam revision pronto--Sycamore (Talk) 15:49, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Motherfucking papyrus

Since a lot of you seem to be fucking perplexed by the fucking article, would you please fucking review it, and fucking point out what's fucking wrong with it? Fucking thanks in fucking advance :) • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 11:04 • Tuesday,

As you may have fucking noticed in my fucking response to Syc afuckingbove, I don't have that much free fucking time right now, certainly not efuckingnough to do a fucking review. Even when asked so fucking politely.

In a nutshell, I think your concept is too muddled and not clear enough. I saw the blurb you left on Hype's page, and that sums it up for me - you're trying to do too much, and it never settled enough for me to be able to follow it and get a handle on what was going on. If you want to take a shot at all those targets, maybe do it across several articles? That's all I got time for right now, hope it helps. Off to look at Syc's stuff while snatching 5 minutes for fucking lunch. --UU - natter 12:26, Jan 12

Hey, I fucking asked you politely. Politely as fuck. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 12:37 • Tuesday,

I've been away too long. I can't tell if this is banter or another know-nothing noob expecting the red carpet treatment.    Orian57    Talk   12:52 12 January 2010

Well, I'd explain, but that would spoil the fucking fun. --UU - natter 12:57, Jan 12

Fuck you.    Orian57    Talk   12:58 12 January 2010

I'm Benson, dude. I just changed my name. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 13:47 • Tuesday,

Fucking fun-spoiler. --UU - natter 14:25, Jan 12

Who? • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 14:59 • Tuesday,

Who or what is "Benson"?    Orian57    Talk   16:55 12 January 2010

BENSON, DUDE. DONTCHA REMEMBER ME? YOU GUYS USED TO WORSHIP ME. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 19:08 • Tuesday,

oh I arrived a couple generations after BENSON left, he's nothing more than a story to me. Like Jesus but with slightly more evidence supporting his existance. I say he because I doubt you are. But regardless: Nice to meat you. I think.    Orian57    Talk   19:14 12 January 2010

Nice to meet you too, onion69. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 19:45 • Tuesday,

I suppose you think you're being original. That or you're Yettie. but that's just too good a possibility to be true.    Orian57    Talk   20:47 12 January 2010

I heard that if you say Benson's name 3x in the mirror, his ghost appears behind you and edit's your internal organs... Does it work? Fucked if I know. I'd never try it. --Matfen 21:12, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

You were right, UU, this is fun! Orian, keep guessing. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 22:02 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

Keep guessing what!? I'm old and moody and I don't give a shit who you are now get out of my house you leftist hippy. Or Mosshy called me "onion69" once too looking at your name it's not so different. Meh.    Orian57    Talk   22:10 12 January 2010

Yes I'm him. Meh. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 06:33 • Wednesday, 13-01-2010

I think the Egyptian flag was a giveaway. Or the smell. ~ 14:27, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

The smell. The kitten-shit smell. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 15:05 • Thursday, 14-01-2010

Fredd/Moosh/whatever - are you taking the piss on VFD or what? --UU - natter 15:35, Jan 14

This Talk Page Is Starting To Resemble France in 1941!!

HITLER AND MUSSOLINI INVADED COUNTRIES THANK YOU TEMPLATES INVADE TALK PAGES TEMPLATES ARE LIKE HITLER AND MUSSOLINI A vote "For" an article on VFH is a vote "For" Hitler and Mussolini!!

Every "against" vote kills a Nazi! --    13:37, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Abstain. Listcruft. --UU - natter 14:12, Jan 12

Another List

And there's only two items on that list!  Against. --    15:29, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Restore Request

Hello, Under User, since I'm not banned anymore, can you "undelete" my UnBook Alex in Wonderland? I'll be able to finish it, and after that I'll take away the WIP, and I just might get published by Uncyc! Where can I get a list of files on the entire Uncyc that end in .mp3? --68.42.246.27 00:21, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

OK, I restored it. But it still has the WiP tag on it, and if you leave it another 7 days without an edit, it will get deleted again. I suggest you get an account, then it can be moved into your userspace for you to work on at your leisure with no fear of deletion. When it gets finished, you can then move it back to the mainspace. Let me know if you want to give that a try. As to the mp3 thing, just do a search on "mp3", and in the advanced search box, tick only "file". There's probably a better way to do it, but that's how I roll. --UU - natter 11:04, Jan 13

Mork and Mindy

Hi

I would like to have Mork and Mindy page actually merge with Happy Days since that was a spin-off show...if there is a Happy Days Page, if not redirect it to User:MrCleveland/Mork and Mindy, and I'll get back to writing it into a full article...or not.

So whenever someone clicks on Mork and Mindy, they should get redirected to Happy Days.MrCleveland 17:33, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I'd put it in your userspace as requested, but you already have a copy there, so you don't need it. And as there's no Happy Days page, and we don't want redirects to userspace, I'll leave it as it is until your article is finished and ready to move back to mainspace. Good luck! --UU - natter 20:06, Jan 13

The UnSignpost you huffed this morning

could you unhuff it, I was going to finish that. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 03:20, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Never mind, I just saw that you started a new one. You want me to deliver it once you're done with it?Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 03:25, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, that would be awesome, if you could. And if you wanna chip in and add anything to it, of course, be my guest! --UU - natter 09:03, Jan 14

Actually, now that I say that, I'm done - wanna go deliver? --UU - natter 10:00, Jan 14

It's here, BTW. --UU - natter 16:55, Jan 14

WotY and WotNot

The least I could do. --Nikau 14:08, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

You could contribute to the Buy UU a Porsche fund. ~ 14:26, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Or the Buy Necropaxx a small African country fund. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 12:58, Jan 15 2010

I'd say buy Angola, the Cup of African Nations is being held there, you'll get double what you pay in revenues. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 16:45 • Friday, 15-01-2010

Non of those suggestions come under the heading of "least", though, do they? --UU - natter 11:15, Jan 18

Damn

Now I don't have exactly 42 bans anymore. But I'm actually grateful. Relentlessly avoiding bans was rather tiresome. Thanks for being your regular awesome self, UU! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:31, 14 January 2010

Ah, but now you have 42 plus 1 yes? It'll only be a matter of time until you rack up enough for your second 42 if you work hard enough at it.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  15 Jan 2010 ~ 08:36 (UTC)

Whore-o-scopes

Whose dick do I have to suck around here to get horoscopes onto the UnSignpost? I saw you looking around the room trying to find someone to give you material to fill out the right-side content, and then I saw you ignore my raised hand and exclamations of "Ooo! Ooo! Pick me!" They used to put them on it you know, and I've been writing idiotic horoscope jokes for months now, quite consistently, and a whore spot for them on the UnSignpost is all I need to get more famous than I already am. So what's the deal? -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 10:46, January 16, 2010 (UTC) P.S. I also could have simply said something more humble like "Hey, do you think it might be fun to include my mildly amusing horoscopes on the UnSignpost like they used to back in the day? Whaddaya think?" If that approach works better with you, then ignore the above. Thanks.

Whose dick you gotta suck? Mine. Or UUs it's bassically the same thing. I'm his sock puppet you know?    Orian57    Talk   12:43 16 January 2010

It was a short issue, I decided to do it at pretty much the last minute, and I hacked it together off the top of my head. I'd be quite happy to add horoscopes in a future issue, as it cuts down on stuff I have to do myself! Pop a horoscope bit in the press room, either an article or just a single horoscope with the "click here for more horoscopes" type link for the right hand panel, whichever you fancy, and I'll gladly add it to the next edition. If I get round to writing it! ;-) Oh, and I generally prefer the second approach. Ta. --UU - natter 11:14, Jan 18

so ah....

Do you think we should ban everyone and feature Roak Band as the number 1 article for 2010? ~ 17:18, January 18, 2010 (UTC)

Sounds like the best plan I've heard so far this year! Complete with an ümläüt-hëävy rëskïn öf the mäïn pägë, öf cöürsë! --UU - natter 20:59, Jan 18 --UU - natter 20:59, Jan 18

Better late than later

Thank you Geez, now don't I feel like an idiot. I forgot to thank you for voting me Noob of the Month...back in August 2009. While I disappeared shortly after receiving the award, I have now, like Spiderman, decided to live up the responsibility of wielding it's power. If you, like Jesus, can find it in your heart to forgive me, please send $1 to Forgetful Man P.O Box 5564 NSW, Australia.

Thanks for the vote. Sequence 05:46, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

You call that revenge?

You know what this means, mister, don't you? ~ 20:04, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

You're gonna buy me ice cream? --UU - natter 17:12, Jan 22

UnSignpost 21th January 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

Jan 21st, 2010 • Issue 72 • Yorkshire-style news

Awards of the Year race thrillingly poised By UU Yes folks, as the first month of this new decade lurches slowly and falteringly towards conclusion, the ... of the Year awards showdown is accelerating towards a thrilling climax! Your ever-topical UnSignpost mascot DogNewspaper therefore brings you this essential and timely guide to the runners and riders!. In the most prestigious award of the lot, Writer of the Year, the race for second place behind prolific funny factory and champion-elect Hype is neck and neck between apparently-no-longer-hirsute TKF fan-club president and feature-machine Guildy and low-profile but high-quality-output, er, feature-machine Sog1970. But wait! There's still a chance they could get caught by the chasing pack of little-known and modest Scouser Mhaille, hetero macho-man Orian57, antipodean canine PuppyOnTheRadio and none-more-metal mosher Monika. Oh, and some other chancers have been nommed without polling a single vote (including DrStrange, who is currently looking likely to become the first Uncyclopedian ever to win WotM twice, but hasn't carried that form over to WotY - odd). Meanwhile, over at PotY, the race for second place behind Sonje is even closer, with both Modus and some n00b polling a creditable one nom but no votes each! Who will pull ahead by the end of the month? It's a competition you just can't keep your eyes off! Disappointingly, the UotY vote lets the side down, with seemingly a boring old race for first place between Belgian one-man categorisation whirlwind, maintenance addict, broken thing fixer, BUTT POOP!!! junkie and footwear-as-handwear exponent Socky and handsome English admin who wrote this article and is not in the least bit biased UU. The apparent scramble to be runner-up to whichever of these two is runner-up is far more interesting, as non-stop wikifixer MadMax goes up against Welsh Rarebit RabbiTechno, not-Yorkshire-enough admin Mordillo, vowel-free-zone Mnbvcxz and Moterfucking Nigger Lover Roman Dog Bird. Damned with the faint praise of a nom with no votes in this category are the pants bomber, talk page king FU Spang, human non-sequitur generator Modus and absent but deadly hockey nut Gerry. And finally, over where it's really at, the NotD cockfight is almost impossible to call! Will plucky outsider RC hold off the challenge of Apple, Apples and Maddie's life? The tension is quite literally unbearable! But remember kids: whoever "wins", we're all still losers. And now, your not-at-all-struggling-for-material Signpost brings you... Horoscopes! By GlobalTourniquet Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week, you have a dream, that one day you will be judged not by the color of your skin but by Simon Cowell. Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - If Martin Luther King had believed them when they told him "Silence is golden", he never would have accomplished his great work in the cause of civil rights. You, on the other hand, are just a mouthy bitch. Silence is golden. For the rest of this week's horoscopes in full, see the horoscopes page, obviously.

Check out these pages! Narcissism? On the intertubes? Serious businesszzzzszszz - sorry, nodded off there Breaking News: We're The Worst! From our logs: 06:45, 20 January 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I LIKE PIE!!! (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 48 hours ‎ (This is your local formatting nazi-admin reminding you to stop undoing people's formatting fixes. Learn to wiki, pl0x. And don't harrass people trying to help.) 01:04, 18 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.61.194.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (suspected homophobe. might hate gays. or he's just a faggot.) 12:33, 18 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 196.12.233.26 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And the Lord said unto me, "Cursed are the page blankers, for they are the least of my creations; take up thy banhammer and smite them") Biopic of the Week Conscientious vote-machine Romartus has been around longer than you might think - kick-starting his Uncyc career with a series of DYK suggestions, before hitting his stride. Known as one of the more "demanding" voters on VFH, Romartus has also been diligently saving some of the less-deserving articles on VFD. He also breeds tropical ferrets. One of the previous statements is a lie, introduced by the biographer in lieu of a joke. Use your skill and judgement to work out which one! Old-School Featured Article of the Week Really Big Tree is an article about a really big tree. This tree is of such an immense size, it is scarcely credible. Few trees deserve their own Uncyclopedia article, but the Really Big Tree deserves its own wiki. You may think you have encountered trees of impressive size before, but you haven't seen a tree at all until you've experienced the Really Big Tree! Cajek UnBlock of the week! MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) resurrected Cajek (Talk | contribs) (blocking Cajek is Sooooo old school. Unblocking Cajek is the new, new school. Not that I went to school. Obviously.) The (probably short-lived) return of UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week Were you to find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, you may happen upon a local. Were that local to then say to you "dew yew keep a troshin'", you may find yourself somewhat at a loss for a reasonable response - well, no more! Yes, your ever-useful UnSignpost is here to furnish you with a translation, which is: "take care of yourself". (It comes from "carry on with the threshing", if that helps, although we can't see how it would). So now if you find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, the only thing you have to worry about is getting out of there. Fast!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot)  17:41, Jan 21

High five!

Great job on the Unsignpost, UU. Your stellar journalism brightened my day. Oh, and where is the SAotY (Sexy Admin of the Year) voting page? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 01:41, Jan 22 2010

Glad you're enjoying it Necropaxx - I'm still not sure how long I can keep up with it: my boss has to notice I don't have all that much work to do soon, and then it'll be back to sneaking 5 minutes editing here and there! SAotY page? Second link on the left, then straight on 'til morning... --UU - natter 11:29, Jan 22

Aw, and my vote was going to be something like this:  It's the hotpants. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 17:09, Jan 22 2010

I knew it. --UU - natter 17:22, Jan 22

Hey!

Well, I agree your offer of making article about Mark Robinson better. Well, feel free to make any changes you see accurate.

However, I'd like to leave here some excuses:

1. Well, I wrote this article few months ago. I think I've improved my English since that time but maybe it's only my impression. But please remember I have no contact with any foreigners in my country (with exception of my lacrosse coach who is American but he speaks broken Polish :)) and most of the time I need to figure out myself how to use English correctly. Most of the time I trie to compare it to my retarded Slavic language but again most of the time it makes no sense (Polish language :P). Actually, it would be nice if people here correct me sometimes when they see some obvious mistake I do. But still I started using articles (a, an, the) only because some people pointed out I've not been doing it :P. But still I'm unsure when to use which even I know the theory. And I also have some problems with tenses as English has simply too many of them and each Slavic tense cover few English tenses (e.g. past perfect, present perfect = same; present simple, present continous = same, etc. ) Otherwise how am I supposed to learn English, especially when English learning system in my country is an epic failure? :P
2. Yes, I had known nothing about cricket but I found cricket really cool game and now I visit cricinfo.com nearly every day.
3. The part about Mark Robinson being born of wicket refers to cricket slang of walking wicket and this refers to an absolutely terrible batsman who most of the time gets noughts. Seemed accurate to Mark Robinson :)

That's all from me. Then I wait for the results of your work over this article. Cheers. Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 20:14, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Ptok - no need for excuses here, as I say, your English is far better than my Polish (for example) would ever, ever be! I have nothing but respect for people who write articles in a language that isn't their first - I could never do that. English is a wonderful and stupid language - one that drives on a parkway and parks on a driveway, for example - and I know enough native speakers who still struggle with many of the grammatical rules (most of my officem for instance!)

The "walking wicket" joke - hmm, I see what you're driving at, but it wasn't really that obvious. Maybe we can make it a little easier to see what you're driving at there. I'll roll up my sleeves and have a good old go at it soon, but right now, I have to head off to play my other sport of choice - football. Goals to be scored! --UU - natter 12:25, Jan 23

Same here. Grammar and prose are still my prime pain in the ass when writing humour, even after a whole year of practice, and 14 of studying the fucking language at school. I lack style, and that's probably why I can't get a mainspace article featured.. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 10:23 • Tuesday, 26-01-2010

Thanks dawg

Uncle-Dad thanks you in the only way he knows: a long glass of moonshine and an hour with his niece-wife.

...and thanks for the vote on Hollywood! IronLung 22:09, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

User:SPIKE/Q

Sorry about the double redirect and thanks for fixing it! I'd normally take this to QVFD, now that it's in mainspace, but perhaps it should stick around because it's used as an example in the Forum? Spıke ¬  15:14 25-Jan-10

More Yorkshire is required

I'm flying over to London for the day, and I just hope that your bloody transportation system won't collapse as usual. Eh? Eh? BTW, after showing the Yorkshire Airlines clip in a team meeting, it turns out that my boss is from Yorkshire.

...

...

Anyways, can you possibly do me a favor? I need a stamp like PNG, red and semi opaque (so you can put it across article) that says: "Article disqualified by the International Elders of Zion Consortium" or something along these lines. Got time? Got milk? ~ 19:15, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Can do, how do you want it? Any particular style? Font? Angle? Size? Shape? When you say semi opaque, you mean transparent background, and semi-opaque red stamp that you can still read the article through, right? Supply the answers to these questions, grasshopper, and you shall have your png. --UU - natter 09:58, Jan 26

Got back from the UK. UK border control is still an ass. But hey, I'm a bloody foreigner. So the answers are - no specific font/size/shape in mind as long as it resembles a stamp. Correct regarding the semi-opaque (I thought it was a standard term, did I make up words again?) ~ 20:48, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

No, standard term, just wanted to make sure you didn't want the background semi-opaque or anything like that. I'll try to rustle something up shortly. Also, don't you know our terror threat level over here is now "bound to happen, everyone panic like mad"? Shifty-looking types such as you can think themselves lucky we let you in at all, dammit! --UU - natter 14:54, Jan 27

Border lady: How long are you going to stay?

Me: Just the day

Border lady: so when are flying back?

Me: ....This afternoon

Border lady: So where are you staying?

Me: ....I'm not staying

Is this is some bizarre English humor that I'm missing? ~ 22:04, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Hello Mr. UU

I realized today that it's been a long time since I randomly wandered by and left a pointless comment on your talk page. So here it is. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:46, 26 Jan

Me wanders in. can i just use your loo? It's upstairs on the right, yeah?    Orian57    Talk   21:48 26 January 2010

Use the one on bottom floor, I'm using the one upstairs. ~ 22:01, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

Haha...that's funny because I know someone named Lou. Oh, you silly English and your words.HELPME 22:08, January 26, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

Point of concern; how pointless does the comment have to be?  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  27 Jan 2010 ~ 01:48 (UTC)

Aardvark. MrN 01:51, Jan 27

That aardvark stole my ass. HELPME 02:00, January 27, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

I'm still busily fearing your mojo from MrN's talkpage, Opty. Nice to see you. But can you shut the door behind you after you've randomly wandered by? You seem to let all sorts of undesirables in, and I have to fetch the big broom, and it all gets messy, and then the police get called... It's more hassle than it's worth, it really is. --UU - natter 14:59, Jan 27

You'll have to forgive me, it's this new cologne - Eau De Mojo. The saleslady swore it would help me attract women. I think you can see how that's worked out. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:55, 27 Jan

Undesirable? I'm as undesirable as a big ham. Ladies. HELPME 21:21, January 27, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

Thanks

Grazie... Grazie for doing me this favour. I won't forget it. Ask your friends in the neighbourhood about me. They'll tell you I know how to return a favour Don Flamingo 11:16, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry for the double redirect

The title on Loo or Toilet or whatever it is apparently changes (do you know how that works?) and it changed from "Toilet" to "Loo (Redirected from Loo)" which I didn't make sense of. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:47, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

{{Title|Loo}} ;)  Hi UU.  As usual I have nothing to bring but toilet humour... MrN  22:00, Jan 27

So that's what that title thing does. I learned something; thanks. Now I'll have to go find something else I'm ignorant about so I can screw that up. :-D King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:04, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

IT IS ON

Mass Effect 2 that is, I'm going straight after work to get it. Time to kick some Geth ass! ~ 13:50, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

My copy is in the post. I'm hoping to see it as soon as I get home tonight, although I won't get much time with it in the next few days (I'll just have to sneak a few minutes where I can, I guess). Mind you, I'm at a very interesting point in Oblivion as well. Too much RPG, not enough time! --UU - natter 14:11, Jan 28

Thoughts so far? I'm enjoying it, but think one or two changes were made for the sake of change, and it's gonna take a little while to get used to 'em. I'm also thinking it's gonna be a real effort to get away from it long enough to make your png... --UU - natter 09:17, Jan 29

WHAT PNG?! I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT COMMANDER! The little (2.5 hours, up to 2:30am mygodamItired) I had with it last night - it looks very good. I do like the change they did with the weaponry (clips and all). The controls are a bit weird still, but it's only a matter of time to get used to it. All in all, looks great. ~ 10:01, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

Also, I can't believe you fixed my spelling of Geth. Also, I can't believe I actually wrote Gek, which is "Mad" in Dutch. ~ 10:06, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 28th January 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

We're delivering it to your door anyways!

Jan 28th • Issue 73 • A Periodical. Period.

Continuing Absence Of Certain Users Forces Other Users To Do Things By UU It has come to the notice of our fearless journalists that some users have recently been desperately attempting to fill the gaping void left by the absence of some other users. For instance, in the absence of part-time dinosaur and popular keyboard feature SysRq, Why do I need to provide this? has stepped bravely into the Colonization brief (and has not, for instance, been forcefully volunteered for the task by MrN), dedicating himself to bringing colons where there are none (such is our understanding). Also bravely stepping into the "ban magnet" position created by the continuing and lamented absence of hyperactive loon Cajek is, well, a plethora of users. Admins, deprived of their favourite joke-ban target, have taken to joke banning anyone in an attempt to get their fix. Even those devoted to doing only good, just and true works have recently been targeted; and as if to prove this very statement, some power-crazed asshole went and joke banned Socky, RabbiTechno and Optimuschris as soon as he'd written this sentence. Elsewhere, ChiefjusticeDS has been filling the gap left by the absence of someone's enthusiasm for anything pee-related right at the moment by looking after the pee list, taking over as the person with the most in-depth reviews, reviewing everyone else's reviews, and generally not being lazy about it all. At the same time, the continuing absence of the yellow and black sig of Gerrycheevers has forced grumbling British curmudgeon UU to return to the Wiki's only newspaper, the UnSignpost, churning out issues that are, let's be honest, mere placeholders until Gerry gets his arse back here and writes something worth reading. YOU HEAR ME GERRY? GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW DAMMIT! Rumours that, in the relative absence of Orian57, Roman Dog Bird will take over the position of "token gay" are unconfirmed at the time of going to press. And finally, in the absence of enough content to make this issue balance out nicely, the UnSignpost is once again resorting to using blatant filler for the first time this year. Shameless, that's what it is. Complain to someone - it's the only way they'll learn.

Check out these pages! This seems to mean something to some people Bonzer Bruce, throw another stereotype on the barbie! Like. Comment. From our logs: 20:30, 26 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.223.27.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (No-one talks that way about my favourite Jew. Learn some manners or GTFO.) 00:48, 26 January 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Why do I need to provide this? (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Sometimes I feel, like I've been TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEDDD to the Whipping Post!!!!) 18:19, 24 January 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.246.27 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Toll. Idiot. Whatever. Banned, UnBanned, Banned, Banned. BYE. Try IRC next time. The guys in there will enjoy it.) Biopic of the Week Users today, they barely know they're born. The problem? Too little exposure to Flammable. The permanent curator of the Principal's office rarely deigns to grace us mortals with his presence these days, but the very sight of his rainbow-strewn sig used to inspire fear, dread, terror and, for some reason, carol singing. "While shepherds fed their flocks thermite..." Old-School Featured Article of the Week This one's for you, Guildy: HowTo:Be pretentious. Don your black polo-neck, cock a snook at the hoi polloi, and sit back, secure in your superiority, thanks to this indispensable guide! Cursory Mention of the Week CheddarBBQ wanted to be mentioned in this week's Signpost. So he is.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  15:01, Jan 28

UU!

As it seems that you did the WOTM template for previous year, can you chop one for Mr. Hype? ~ 09:02, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Would you like that before or after your png? Things got hella busy again (so busy I've not had time to play any more ME2 yet, which should tell you everything you need to know), so I will if I get time. Might wanna try RadX though - I saw him about the other day, and I think he may have the original file, which would help. --UU - natter 13:51, Feb 1

Ah! No prob, I'll ask him. Also, I though you were away because of ME2! Everything OK there? ~ 13:52, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Everything is OK, just bloody manic! Trying to make sure all my work is at a stage where I can drop everything at a second's notice when the baby decides to make its grand entrance! --UU - natter 14:00, Feb 1

Congratulations

Both you and Socky have worked hard to help make Uncyc the place it is, I'm pleased to see the two of you rewarded for your efforts. Always nice to see a Brit doing well in these things too! ;) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

You both totally deserved it. Thank you for being you. MrN 09:25, Feb 1

Thank you for being U. U. O_O ~ 09:43, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

What can I say? I have a natural dedication to being the worst...--UU - natter 13:55, Feb 1

I gotta say, User of the year sounds like an impressive honor. Boy, the fact that I call winning an online award "an impressive honor" really shows how much of a shut-in I amHELPME, I've fallen and I can't get up!/ Talk to me or die!/ My daddy!(ew) 21:53, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

So, what's been going on in my relative absense?

apart from me not winning anything, I've been following that, yet forgot to throw in my other votes. and vote for the otY awards, it was Hype that won writer of the year anyway, wasn't it?

how's yourself? Mrs/baby doing good too? I'm getting the horrible feeling that I'm drifting away from this place, which I'm not really happy about. I just haven't had the time recently, or any ideas for an article or motivation. Anyway, just thought I'd drop by, hopefully catch up a bit on local affairs, before my doubtless, unnoticed return.    Orian57    Talk   09:32 1 February 2010

How's myself? Well, I clawed my way back above you in the HoS this year, so if that's not motivation enough for you to get your arse back here and write something as funny as I know you can, I don't know what is... Everything is going well, just busy and on permanent baby standby. Could happen any time in the next three and a bit weeks... Hope RL is treating you well - any sign of a job on the horizon? --UU - natter 13:58, Feb 1

Not a paid one. Going back to the charity shop when my placement is over, to volunteer, apparently this looks good on a CV and in truth I'm enjoying it, starting to feel more like a proper person, you know? And upon news of your attavk on my lead in the HoS, I do feel slightly more motivated.    Orian57    Talk   00:01 2 February 2010

Gutter Press

Afternoon UU, just wondering if you have any comment about tying with categorisation-bot Socky on that UotY thing? I'd ask if I should make something up if you don't, but that seems a bit pointless. --UU - natter 14:34, Feb 1

Well, yeah, actually, I was gonna say a couple of things: first, it's good to see someone who isn't an admin get their hands on this award, and Socky's hard work deserves recognition. Second, it's great to have my complete lack of a life recognised in this way. Third, did someone say Spang's archived his talk page? What the fuck's that all about? --UU - natter 14:38, Feb 1

Thanks. Not very funny comments though, were they? Not going to stand you in good stead for a WotY campaign this year, is it? --UU - natter 14:39, Feb 1

Ah, blow it out your ear. --UU - natter 14:41, Feb 1

How would I go about doing that, then? --UU - natter 14:41, Feb 1

I dunno. Why don't you have a try, and I'll let you know what you're doing wrong? --UU - natter 14:42, Feb 1

Another day in Uncyclopedia... MrN 16:47, Feb 1

So do you think UU is finally loosing it then? 9001(bot)  17:18, Feb 1

Well that would suggest that any of us ever had "it" in the fist place. MrN 17:20, Feb 1

Maybe. Just so long as you don't start going crazy also. 9001(bot)  17:22, Feb 1

THUS WE CONCLUDE OUR BROADCASTING. PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE

Thank you!!

Thank you!!

I stand here before you, arms outstretched and butterflies exploding from my zipper, in thanks for supporting me for Uncyclopedia:Writer of the Year.

Throughout 2009, many people had stupid ideas, and many of those people wrote those stupid ideas down, but apparently you agreed that no one thought of so many idiotic things, nor humiliated himself on such a regular basis, as I.

You pity me! You really pity me!

May 2010 be an even worse year for us all!

---

UotY

I can't believe no one stuck the spiffy UotY Award for 2009 on your user page yet. So as Uncyco of the Month for January 2010, I done gave myself permission and I done did it. Congrats and stuff! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:49, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Or, y'know, you could have a quick nosy at the history and spot that Mordillo had added it, and I'd shifted it to my awards page. But thanks! --UU - natter 09:07, Feb 2