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Today's featured fatty A Civil War is a form of warfare known for its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to the other tactics such as scorched earth which are entirely too dirty for upstanding gentlemen. Civil warfare is a strategy that has outlasted many minor fads in warfare such as Germany's Blitzkrieg Bop, the British Redcoat's Stand In a Line and Shoot or the French Foreign Legion's Surrender. Its longevity as a tactic can probably be attributed to a few things, namely the incompetence of modern military tacticians compared to those of the past and the universal human need for cordial smiles and small talk, even during battle. Civil wars are defined by a few chief characteristics. The Blitzkrieg Bop, for instance, was famous for its angular guitar rhythms and use of armor and dive-bombers to spearhead a motorized assault straight through the heart of an opposing force. Civil War, however, is based on these precepts: (Full article...) Recently featured: John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that Canadian baseball (Pictured) is a thing? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life? ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that Oh My God! There's a Meteor Heading Towards Us? (Pictured) ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that sheep shrink when it rains? ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit? ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down? ... that Canadian baseball (Pictured) is a thing? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life? ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that Oh My God! There's a Meteor Heading Towards Us? (Pictured) ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that sheep shrink when it rains? ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit? ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down? ... that Canadian baseball (Pictured) is a thing? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life? ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that Oh My God! There's a Meteor Heading Towards Us? (Pictured) ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that sheep shrink when it rains? ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit? ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down? ... that Canadian baseball (Pictured) is a thing? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life? ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too?	In the news 1977-2026 US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again On this day... February 18: Penis Day (Tonga) 4000 BC - Men discover their hands reach down to their genitals, and there is peace for three thousand years before they get bored and start killing each other with pointy sticks. 1791 - American imperialists "liberate" the state of Vermont because of its vast maple syrup reserves. 1861 - Jefferson Davis is declared president of the Confederacy after saying the "hard R" N-word fifty times in only six seconds. 1885 - Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is published, its numerous grammatical errors are labelled by the publisher as a regional dialect. 1970 - The Chicago Seven are found guilty of being dirty commie hippies who might as well be guilty. 2010 - WikiLeaks publishes hundreds of thousands of classified documents revealing exactly where the U.S. keeps its nudes.
Today's fattiest picture Windows XP is a reliable computer program, as shown here. Image credit: Guest View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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