User:SSJ 5/Albania
The belonging of Albanians to the human species is disputed.
| |||
| Motto: Would you like my sister as a prostitute? | |||
| National Anthem: Our Land, Our Anus! | |||
| Capital | Muqibaba | ||
| How to get there | You're already there | ||
| Largest city | Muqiverca | ||
| Official languages | Albanian and the language of the Dollar. | ||
| Government | La Mafia Albanese | ||
| President | The Terminator | ||
| Area | Unknown km²(gaining more territory every day) | ||
| Population | 5,000,000 (Sober: only some tourists who just arrived) | ||
| Currency | Chinese AK's & Bullets | ||
| Time zone | KMT | ||
| Most Popular first name | Mahz-a-fakka | ||
| Most Popular last name | Punani | ||
“It is true that John Kerry is of Albanian descent, damn I wish I were so lucky!. ”
“Albania? Of course I know about Albania. Do you think I'm from Mars or what. ”
Federal Republic inside of Kosovo; It's territory covers the Western part and most of the Southern part of the Illyiran Peninsula (a.k.a The Balkans).
History[edit | edit source]
It is very hard to remember Albania's exact century of emerging, as it is known to be in the Balkans for more than 3,000 years. Different from barbarian Slavic tribes who are known to have moved to the Balkans around the 7th century. The Illyrians on the other hand are never linked to nomad or barbaric behavior. The ancient Albanians, called Illyrians had many interesting sports and events that they held.
Climate[edit | edit source]
Albania's climate is very similar to that of Hawaii, just without all the crack addicts and hurricanes.
Tourism[edit | edit source]
Albania is covered by tall mountains with plenty of snow that are, however, unusable as ski centers due to a lack of roads, and has a fairly long but beachless coast. These characteristics did not make it a major tourist location, but it did have some fine tourist seasons, the best being the 1912-1918. period which saw two major armed-men-only Serbian excursions - the first one to Shkoder (1912), and the second one to Tirana (1915), and a transit one to Greece(1915). Also came a similar Italian excursion in 1915. to Valona, French one to Durazzo, and then a tour of the country by the Austrians. Italians returned briefly in 1918. The tourists complained about the non-exsisting roads and lack of food, but nevertheless, the new kingdom of Yugoslavia organised another similar trip to Albania in 1924. and another one was organised in 1939. by the Italians lasting four years. The end of the latter ended the glorious days of Albanian tourism.
Tradition[edit | edit source]
Wedding ceremonies usually require a fixed number of Kalashnikov rifles in order to perform the ritual of "happy shooting" or shooting in the air until you have no more rounds left. The usual ratio for required Kalashnikov's is one for every ten people attending the wedding celebration, but in cases where Kalashnikov's can't be brought because of technical reasons it is recommended to use regular pistols at a ratio of 5 for every 10 people.
Each time a boy has reached manhood (the age of 7) he is taken to a Greek village where the little boy will repeatedly hit a Greek male's groin with a stick in a fashion similar to American Baseball. The boy is then given the honor of urinating in the Greek's face. On that night the boy will be entitled the full privileges of every grown man, and receives the license to catch and dispose of Greeks professionally.
Other traditions include: Ceremonial mafia parties, where new members are admitted; Rioting; Violent protest's; Uprisings.
Sport[edit | edit source]
Albanians are not good at any other sport, besides, sex.
But for some of the sports played in Albania, consult the Kosovo article.
