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Today's Featured Article Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 39,609 articles in English Politics Games Music Science History Art Television Film Theatre Society People All Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations Categories · Featured content · A–Z index Recently featured: Newspeak - One Out of Ten Doctors - HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship - Grue's Clues - Baby Seal Yesterday's Featured Article Newspeak, Oceanian speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Repeats unwords. Crimethink unwords. Ref 11th ed Newspeak dictionary. Miniplenty feeds Party, proles. Makes rations, bodywares. Makes plenty. Chocorat 20gm increased. Minipax keeps pax. Floating fortresses unsinkful. Minitrue rectifies malreports. Verifies Times. Miniluv crimestopper. Keeps goodthink. (more...) Did you know... *... that 100% of people who make good life choices die? ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny? ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die? ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny? ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?	In the news The face of HATE! 4chan hacked, nobody cares Vatican commits simony YouTube child educator Ms. Rachel detained and deported by ICE (Pictured) Scientists revive some dead wolves because they can Steve's Lava Chicken shut down due to health code violations Wayne Gretzky's all-time regular season goal record broken by Putin's Instagram buddyboo Donald Trump receives prestigious award for destroying the stock market Kid (and ball) escape narrow car crash Robert F. Kennedy Jr. engulfs every panda bear in existence Kardashian and Ye do washed up things Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • Everyone ditching some Disney live-action remake for A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • Americans scrambling last-minute to pay their taxes Recent deaths: Meghan Markle's Netflix show • Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe • Bruce Glover • Richard Chamberlain • Roger Daltrey's eyes and ears • Val Kilmer • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Your 401K • Jay North • The playoff bids of all New York State NHL teams Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global Economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Columbus Blue Jackets' playoff chances • Gawr Gura On this day... April 16: 42nd Josef Stalin Appreciation Day (World) 1560 BC - Moses forgets to take his schizophrenia pills and begins to hear voices. He takes off from Ur, resulting in all of modern humanity's problems. 1855 - Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln enjoy a night of mad passionate love. 1878 - Joseph Stalin (Pictured) is born. Baby Hitler shudders in his Baby Hitler dreams. 1934 - Eleanor Roosevelt uncharacteristically enjoys a hotdog. 1943 - The first "Annual Miss Stalin-Look-Alike" contest is held in the Soviet Union; Joseph Stalin wins unanimously. 1953 - Desi Arnaz slaps Lucille Ball, calling her an "estupit beach" on national television. 1991 - US federal law passed forbidding driving while spreading cream cheese on a bagel. 2006 - The Queen of England decrees that all Australians must wear cork underpants. 2011 - Encyclopedia Dramatica sadly returns within 2 days of its death.
Today's featured picture DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa." Hewlett Packard were unavailable for comment as the CEO was busy discussing a merger with Ferrari to create the world's first petrol powered printer. DaVinci is said to be in a closed door meeting with Dan Brown to discuss the implications of this event. Image credit: Nonymous View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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