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Today's Featured Article Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 41,166 articles in English Politics Games Music Science History Art Television Film Theatre Society People All Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations Categories · Featured content · A–Z index Recently featured: Newspeak - One Out of Ten Doctors - HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship - Grue's Clues - Baby Seal Yesterday's Featured Article Newspeak, Oceanian speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Repeats unwords. Crimethink unwords. Ref 11th ed Newspeak dictionary. Miniplenty feeds Party, proles. Makes rations, bodywares. Makes plenty. Chocorat 20gm increased. Minipax keeps pax. Floating fortresses unsinkful. Minitrue rectifies malreports. Verifies Times. Miniluv crimestopper. Keeps goodthink. (more...) Did you know... *... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?	In the news Downing Street denies this image. Starmer announces plans to make tweeting illegal in the UK (Pictured) Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens fans shitting themselves after both their teams choked big-time • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions', Indianapolis Colts', Buccaneers' and Ravens' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • New York Rangers' fans livers and kidneys • The Green Bay Packers' season Not dead: Eleven Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" On this day... January 11: Alexander Hamilton Day 1569 - English merchants propose a national game by which the poorest of society freely and willingly give their money to the rich with no hope of a reward; they call it a lottery. 1755 - Alexander Hamilton (Pictured), financial elitist, slave owner, serial adulterer and father of Wall Street, is born to a whore and a Scotsman; inspires overpriced musical for bougie liberals. 1879 - The Zulus defeat one British Redcoat unit with eleven Impi spearmen, British cry "no fair!" and reload save. 1922 - The first patented Diabetes treatment, a pair of rusty pliers used to excise the parts of the tongue that taste sweetness, is introduced to the general public. 1946 - Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha builds 750,000 bunkers not to keep Capitalist invaders away, but to see who cares enough to break them down. 2015 - Lin-Manuel Miranda is sentenced to hell for making a black guy dress up as Thomas Jefferson, which is like, three layers of wrong.
Today's featured picture Popular Al Jazeera reality series "Jihad My Ride" features, among other Muslim celebrities, Mahmoud "I-Wanna-Jihad" Ahmadinejad taking normal automobiles and making them "The Bomb". Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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