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Today's Featured Article Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 39,077 articles in English Politics Games Music Science History Art Television Film Theatre Society People All Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations Categories · Featured content · A–Z index Recently featured: Newspeak - One Out of Ten Doctors - HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship - Grue's Clues - Baby Seal Yesterday's Featured Article Newspeak, Oceanian speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Repeats unwords. Crimethink unwords. Ref 11th ed Newspeak dictionary. Miniplenty feeds Party, proles. Makes rations, bodywares. Makes plenty. Chocorat 20gm increased. Minipax keeps pax. Floating fortresses unsinkful. Minitrue rectifies malreports. Verifies Times. Miniluv crimestopper. Keeps goodthink. (more...) Did you know... *... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?	In the news Artistic impression of the new tanks. Trump ought to create nazi tanks, with the help of Elon Musk (Pictured) Support our fake album and win a free Palestinian! The Philadelphia Eagles steal the NFL's script and prevent the Kansas City Chiefs from 3‑peating Philadelphia will burn to the ground as a result. Taylor Swift also begins writing her new breakup song for Travis Kelce; it goes something like "Dreamed of a 3‑peat, but you fumbled the play – Lost the Super Bowl and me the same day." Ye has officially lost his fucking mind for the millionth time Donald Trump announces grand opening of the Sierra Gaza Biden announced as new Bond after signing with CAA Trump Taken audition leaked Kendrick Lamar wins five Grammys AND performs Not Like Us at the SuperBowl to over 100 million people, much to Drake's dismay Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion Upcoming deaths: Philadelphia • Travis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this time • Bashar al‑Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse On this day... February 22: International Day of Spam 1996 - Need money quick? Need money now? Get a Payday Loan today! It's not like you have a choice you poor piece of shit haha. 1998 - Got bills you need to pay? Some student loans looming overhead? Donate some plasma to literal blood-sucking capitalists. 1999 - There are hot singles in your area! I don't think you can do anything with that information, I just wanted to tell you. 2001 - Retro fans! Buy a complete box set of every movie and television series released during the 1980s, only $25,999.99! comes in fourteen trucks. 2005 - Buy the last 49,367 Blu-ray discs of Peter Jackson's opus King Kong, I don't know use it as tinsel it's starting to leak chemicals. 2011 - Look like your best self, buy our signature collection of foundation and concealer, made from the ground up bones of the long extinct sea cow.
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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