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Today's Featured Article Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 38,574 articles in English Politics Games Music Science History Art Television Film Theatre Society People All Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations Categories · Featured content · A–Z index Recently featured: Newspeak - One Out of Ten Doctors - HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship - Grue's Clues - Baby Seal Yesterday's Featured Article Newspeak, Oceanian speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Repeats unwords. Crimethink unwords. Ref 11th ed Newspeak dictionary. Miniplenty feeds Party, proles. Makes rations, bodywares. Makes plenty. Chocorat 20gm increased. Minipax keeps pax. Floating fortresses unsinkful. Minitrue rectifies malreports. Verifies Times. Miniluv crimestopper. Keeps goodthink. (more...) Did you know... *... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool? ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class? ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool? ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class? ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?	In the news "He ah-no give me ah-good coverage!" Google reveals least popular searches of 2024 Jay-Z and Beyonce sit their children down and have a talk with them Luigi cosplays as Robin Hood and guns down health insurance CEO; (Pictured) Americans rejoice South Korea's president tries to order pizza, declares martial law instead Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom ... and Hunter... and Fauci... Special Counsel Jack Smith pardons President-elect turkey, meaning he gets away with January 6th Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix "boxing" match Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon! "Nope!" says, judge Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... only for him to pull out Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA Obama smears poop on daycare Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America 2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs" Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump Dance" • Bill Belichick going insane Recent deaths: Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO) • Democrat party • Diddy's career • The Eras Tour • Alabama football's championship bid • The white guy from The Mod Squad Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Benjamin Netanyahu • Jay-Z's career and freedom • Kate Middleton • Aaron Rodgers' career On this day... December 16: Fun With Typos Day 785 - The Knights of the Round Tablet go in search of the Holy Grail. They fail to exit the bottle, which is child-proofed. 1453 - The Hundred Rear War ends after the French agree to stop mooning British monarchs. 1982 - South Africa ends its fan on interracial marriages, replaces it with an air conditioner. 1983 - United Airlines Pilots go on trike for twenty-nine days, are later treated for head injuries after not wearing their helmets. 1985 - In Ukraine, one of the reactors at the Chernobyl Unclear Plant explodes, disaster blamed on lack of transparency. 1986 - The Soviet Union launches the Bir space station. Vodka distillers complain.
Today's featured picture Mr. T is a beacon of hope in our cold and dark world. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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