Babel:Nk

로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 41,054 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column Tesco, officially the Federal Union of Autonomous Shopping Republics, is a large country that has grown in size since its origin in 1917. It is the largest thing in the world by some considerable distance. It was founded largely on Marxist shopping principles, somewhat of a contradiction you might say, but they sure as hell have found a way! While inside, please refrain from buying Nando’s new Mouth-Roasting-Japan-Hiroshima-Bomb-Devil’s-Blood-Extra-Spicy sauce. Tesco recruits its staff by loitering outside school gates, waiting for school dropouts. It has a strict policy of not employing anybody with 5 GCSEs or more. If you send them 10 or more CVs they send you a polite letter to tell you to stop sending fucking CVs. So if you're looking for an exciting, well paid and mentally stimulating career that allows you to express your creativity, get lots of fresh air, make lifelong mates and meet lots of interesting people, then working for Tesco is not for you. (Full article...) Recently featured: Aragorn Donald Duck Why?:You should not vote for my dog. Just DON'T! Harvey Weinstein Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history December 8: Llamas Against Communism Day (Tibet) 1000 BCE - A little Chinese Prince was holidaying in Tibet. Whilst he was innocently trying to feed a local Llama some grain it viciously bit him. And so began countless millenniums of conflict. 1231 - The Dalai Llama seduces Chinese king, but after they'd been going steady for a couple of months the Llama cheats on him with Kubla Khan. Chinese king calls the Llama a slut and finds a less attractive rebound girlfriend and cries himself to sleep for a month. 1567- The Dalai Llama tells all the other Central Asian leaders that the Chinese King is gay. 1911 - Llama tells Sun Yat-sen and Yuan Shikai that the Chinese Emperor said that their mothers were terrible cooks. 1931 - Llama mentions to Emperor Hirohito that China is pretty shit and that he might as well go in and take over. Then he whispered quietly in the Emperor's ear that if any Japanese are looking for easy women Nanking is the place. Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is procrastination Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK Those poor bastards. North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island (Pictured) Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7 • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal? You cannot deny... ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? More wisdom
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Party members of the month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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