User talk:Gerrycheevers/archive5

This is generally when someone comes along to rape you...

Rape! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:02, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

rape, indeed. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:35, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

hey, somebody please archive my talk page. Its getting long and I cant archive it using my lame cell phone browser. And I dont have access to my pc these days. Please. 17:01, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

it is done. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:40, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

Reviewed your article.

Review here. Saberwolf116 17:48, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

excellent, thanks a lot saber. i'll look to making thos suggested changes sometime very soon. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:50, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

Bergman

It was featured, which means it's pretty good, which is all the feedback I need. And, for future reference, feel free to delete any of my articles on Pee that get featured before they're actually reviewed, because that's happened three times now I think. Thanks. —Sir Guildensternenstein 22:48, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

duly noted. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:16, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Yo dude!

Just finished the unnews and I think it is ready for featuring. I had a bit of trouble combining the two extremes suggested but I think I have found a happy meduim. Could you please work your magic to further clean it up and do whatever it is you were going to do as soon as possible? I am anxious to see how this does. Thanks! Yours truly, ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 02:24, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

sure, i will take a look, hopefully today. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:17, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Alright thanks alot! Let me know what you think of the new changes too. I toned down the text parts and made the tone more news-like. If you have time of course. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 15:26, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

A Signpost discussion on your talk page for a change

Woo, go variety! Anyway, you may or may not have noticed the impending anniversary of the USP. Yes, despite the fact that we'll only be on issue 46, it's our 1st birthday! In honour of this (and to give myself time to do something about it) I've claimed dibs on the main retrospective article, trying to bring together comments from the main contributors such as, well, that handsome and talented Gerrycheevers chap. So, any comments about this momentous achievement? (And, come to that, any other good ideas for our milestone issue? I've already got the biopic lined up, what other stuff can we do? How can we top the seventeenth issue spectacular, or the hugely popular all-kitten issue?) --UU - natter 11:29, Apr 28

How can you tell if one issue is more popular than the last? Don't we all get it regardless of whether we like it or not? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:10 28 April 2009

Y'know, last time I looked, this was a humour wiki, where people made flippant comments about the alleged popularity of things. Also I know the disclaimer about me correcting your spelling only applies to my own talk page, but honestly, I couldn't help myself. --UU - natter 14:13, Apr 28

And me correcting yours, too. 14:18, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

GO MAMOOSH! And you know I have 12 archives full of bad spelling if you're so inclined... The only thing you can do is make me look like I actually give a fuck. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:22 28 April 2009

Touché Mr M00shA. I was always going to be hoist by my own petard one day, I'm just so glad you got to that before Orian did! ;-) --UU - natter 14:24, Apr 28

at your service, sir 14:51, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Oh he EC'd me, I hadn't noticed, proving that I obviously can't read either. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:29 28 April 2009

me neither. I actually though syour was a real word for sometime.. Oh, and maybe I'll take some time to rifle through orians archives, and correct those spelling mistakes.. Uh, who gives a fuck, anyway? 14:51, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

oy, i come home from a hard day's work to find you lot sitting on my porch!? get! anyway, i have also been contemplating our one-year anniversary issue, but it snuck up on me rather quickly. i don't think anything will ever top the all-kitten issue, but we can try. retrospectives, all-time bans, top articles from '06 or '07...there's a lot of top quality stuff we can go with. as for an official comment, i guess i can say that i'm proud for having successfully stolen this periodical from cajek and skull, and i look forward to many more years of turning forums into news stories, dredging up old features that nobody cares about, and of course making tedious cajek ban jokes. i also demand a raise and cajek's office. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:29, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

i did NOT see that coming. furthermore, i wouldn't mind seeing this issue balloon to epic proportions. don't limit yourself to the usual half-length article; go all out with the quotes and such. we can have twenty pointless boxes on the right if we need it. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:37, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

I think you'll agree you walked into that one with eyes wide open. Thanks for the quote. And I'm sure there are all sorts of fun things to do with it between now and thursday week. If Skull responds I'm gonna ask if he fancies dicking with the formatting to make a one-off shiny special look for it too. I just figured if I started now there was a chance I may actually do some of it, instead of just watching you do it all again. I'm hoping for a bumper special issue so yeah, let's really go for it (perhaps we could do a particularly skimpy issue this week to tie in - Headline: USP editors too busy prepping Anniversary issue to find any news this week" or something equally snappy - or does that suck as an idea? --UU - natter 15:42, Apr 28

yes, i certainly asked for that. incidentally, that ban actually pushes my total ban time past 'zero'. i had my first look at the 'you are blocked' screen. i feel like a part of uncyclopedia now! good call on starting early. i think the idea of a half-assed issue is spot-on for this week, i'll get to work on it! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:51, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Oddly, although I had many joke bans, the first time I saw the ban screen was after I became an admin. I'll chip in with the half-assed issue, of course. Leave the atrocious pun in though, won't you? --UU - natter 15:54, Apr 28

why certainly, my good chum. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:57, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Nice, I like it. It looks pretty well good to go, and a day early too! --UU - natter 10:41, Apr 29

half-assing is my specialty! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:25, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

I miss Newsradio

"Gazziza diznoofus, it's Bill McNeal saying get with the crezappy taste of Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... Rocketfuel's got tha upstate prison flavor that keeps you ugly all night long. So when you wanna get sick, remember, nothing makes yo' feet stank like Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... DAMN! It's crezappy!!!"

Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:11, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

gazziza, modus. i miss it too. i watch the entire series on DVD at least twice a year. i hate that we lost phil hartman in his prime. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:14, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

That's my cutoff date for the Simpsons, too. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:17, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

understandable. i don't think i can fathom how much more awesome futurama would have been if he had voiced zapp branagan like he was slated to. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:27, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

He should've skipped the big screen and done more TV. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:44, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

seconded. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:26, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

INTERJECTION: Unless I'm mistaken, Billy West took over the Zapp Branagan role and tried his best to do the character as Hartman had intended. Branagan is still the best character in that show too. You're right Gerry. If someone mimicking Hartman is that good, how good could Hartman have been? Now I'm sad. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:54, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

billy west did indeed channel hartman as that character, but it would have been perfection were it hartman himself. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:08, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

But who would he channel? Who?! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:42, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

Of papyrus and man

Ok, mr. Gerry, my papyrus... article is done except for images, I believe sonje is working on them now. Would you please take a look at it and do an unofficial pee review -like, you know, with the pee table, scores and everything- on its talk page? 16:58, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

sure thing. i'll get to it at some point today. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:59, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

Lots of thanks, bro 17:13, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

uhhh *cough cough*Ahem 15:31, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

yea, i'll get to it as soon as i can, moosh. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:41, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

moosh! I fucking like that nickname! Everybody call me moosh from now on 16:44, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

well, i just wrote out my thoughts, and unfortunately the talk page did not save correctly, so i have to do it all again. i'll get to it before too long... SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:26, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Proofreading

I don't know... somehow it still doesn't look quite right. pillow talk 18:08, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

better now? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:23, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

The time I jumped the gun while delivering the UnSignpost!!!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!

April 30th, 2009 • Issue 45 • The periodical that - Jesus Christ it's a lion get in the car!

UnSignpost Editors Too Busy Working on Anniversary UnSignpost to Bother with This Week's Issue By Gerrycheevers Since next week marks the incredible one-year anniversary of the storied UnSignpost, the editors are focusing all of their efforts on that issue and thus leaving this issue out in the cold. Rest assured that next week's 46th issue, marking the 46 weeks in the year on the Uncyclopedia calendar, will be "a bumper special issue" according to co-chief-editor Under user. The promise of a special bonus issue brings to mind several of the UnSignpost's more notable issues, such as the All-Kitten Issue and the Seventeenth Issue Spectacular. Reactions to the milestone were mixed in the community. "I feel the signpost has in many ways brought a little too much cabal propaganda to the site for my liking," said noted good-looking tree Sycamore. Were there a cabal, cabal authorities would currently be on the way to Sycamore's house to arrest him. Lucky for him there is no cabal. By the way, if you really thought this was the first anniversary issue, you suck.

Check out these pages! To pee or not to pee? Some more links. Are you still here? From our logs: Take your pick Biopic of the Week <insert name here> is certainly noteworthy. Old School Featured Article of the Week Nihilism. Word of the Week Brevity.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I think I covered my ass, though. See, I messed up when I delivered the first seven and... Yeah... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:52, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Well dude

You are now officially the only Uncyclopedian to ever win, WotM, UotM, NotM, FPotM, and PotM. The only other two who are close are Braydie, who has won all but PotM, and myself, who has won all but FPotM. I felt this warranted some sort of notoration, which is not a word. So kudos, sir. On your unrelenting devotion to Uncyclopedian excellence. -RAHB 11:35, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

I think I can find room to run a story on this in next week's super-duper bumper UnSignpost, so do you have any comment to make on this unprecedented clean sweep Gerry? --UU - natter 11:40, May 1

well, i don't know what to say, really. i suppose my well-roundedness speaks volumes about my excessive amount of free time. my next objective will be to obtain a microphone and continue my quixotic quest to collect all of the awards. oh, and rahb: how have you not won the foolitzer? maybe i can do something about that...SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:29, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

You sly motherfucker. You do realize that the race is on, and the tension is brewing. I now am off to make my plans for world domination winning Plawright and Reviewer of the month. -RAHB 22:44, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

it os on! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:31, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

This makes me very happy.

Thank you. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:40, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

my pleasure, sir. i have been linking to that article since i first came across it, and it seemed an opportune way to keep the signpost's bumper special issue under wraps. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:46, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

TOC

A talk page without a table of contents is pretty much a pain in the ass, sir. I might not be the first to point this out, but you need the TOC. *Buuurp* 22:43, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh, and quote me in the next USP issue or I'll smash your skull :) Kidding, can't do that, I don't know where you live and I don't have a big hammer.. Ra knows and has the hammer, though ;P 22:51, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

i dont like tables of contents, they smell funny. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:32, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Requesterising a review!

Heya gerry, I remember you reviewed my power rangers article and it became massively successsful, Would you like to give this the same treatment? I personally think it's just as good if not better. Not that I'm being arrogant or anything... Anyway, thanks if you can, never mind if you don't have time. Thanks :) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 10:44 2 May 2009

shit, man! Do you have to make a typo every time you post? 10:49, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

I don't actually mean it. And I havent slept in ages, not to mention it's entirely my keyboard's fault. Sorry I do know it's irritating, esspecialy when I read it back. :( ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 10:53 2 May 2009

why this :( thing? I was just kidding.. Btw, Ive just read you sandcastle howto. Its teh awesome 11:06, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Glad you think so, I thinks its great too, and that's being as objective as possible. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 06:49 3 May 2009

sure thing. i might not get to it til monday, but i'll definitely do it then. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:31, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

That's no problem at all Gerry, thanks again. In advance. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 06:49 3 May 2009

Hi Gerald

Yeah, I'm getting cranking on the bumper super-duper all-singing etc USP, and was wondering - can you get yourself on this please? Only the other main contributors are all on it and it'll make a handy dandy rogues' gallery for the main article if you can South Parkify yourself as well. Go on - all the cool kids have done it and stuff! --UU - natter 15:45, May 2

you know, i've always wanted to immortalize myself in the UU south park gallery, but i've never had the motivation...this may well be it! also, they have south park in england?? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 06:20, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh yes, we're quite up-to-date, don'tcherknow? We also have three-year-old Letterman repeats on really obscure cable channels! I like to watch it and play "spot the US sport/politics reference" - thanks to this place, I'm getting quite good! Also, I live very near a South Park Avenue, if that helps (then again, I live in a city with a Rampant Horse Street and an Upper Goat Lane, so anything's possible). --UU - natter 15:41, May 3

Wham, I've done what I can, and what I have time to. Feel free to edit the main article for length/readability/funniness as much as you like. I think you can see where your South Park pic should go... Just your article and the side panel flannel to go - may I suggest tracking down a few classic "of the week" boxes to make life easier? Should fill the thing out nicely, hopefully, and leave us with a spiffy celebratory issue. Hope you like, and now I really must dash, I have wayyyyy too many deadlines this week! --UU - natter 12:27, May 6

F Moi?

??? How's it my fault you got the time wrong? I'm just curious. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:34 3 May 2009

oh...that's weird...you conflicted me, but i guess you didn't really...?SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

No actually, I was the last person to edit UU's talk page though, but that was four hours ago. Very strange. though I've heard about updates being delayed and thinsg recently. It's probably some sort of conspiricy. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:38 3 May 2009

thanks god i always wear my tinfoil hat when editing! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:39, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Exactly it's the wikipedians, they're trying to get in our minds! They want our minds to find out about humour! THEY WANT OUR MINDS!!! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:42 3 May 2009

and our johnsons too 15:45, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

THAT'S TEH SAME THING! OUR MINDS, OUR PRECIOUS, HORNY MINDS!!!– Preceding unsigned comment added by Orian57 (talk • contribs)

I did sign. I really did but it's them they're trying to divide us -- tun us on each other! THEY WANT OUR MINDS!!! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:46 4 May 2009

Trickle

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:50 4 May 2009

Oh and was the spelling ok? the last review said it was terrible (3.5 terrible). If that's so, would you go through it? and I've added to the intro and a couple other places too. If you think it's ready would you mind nomming it? And I know I said I wouldn't listen to any whinging about the title but do you understand why I called it that? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:22 4 May 2009

i didn't think the spelling was all that bad, but i'll give it a proofread nonetheless. i thought the title was appropriate, as it's like the articles that have little to do with their namesake (like Battle of Gettysburg). if you're presenting this as the finished product, i'd be glad to nom it after a quick proofread. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:28, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

I do think this is finished now, if I start adding too much I might spoil it. And thanks again! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:30 4 May 2009

Hey Orian I know this isn't your talk page but I want to ask both you and Gerry about an article of mine. Are you guys familiar with Planet Earth? A show about different animals and places. I actually really like it and I thought it would be funny to make one about humans. There are only two sections but do you guys like it? I need help with the intro I know but are the other parts any good? Here is the link if you guys can just give me a word or two on whats good and whats not. If you are not familiar with the show its just a discovery channel kind of thing. Thanks guys! If you could just tell me on my talk page that'd be great. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 18:32, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Way to interupt a conversation and actually that sounds like a really good idea! I shall have a look. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:34 4 May 2009

Thanks, I need to have a way of saying it should be read as if the narrator is reading very slowly and with lots of expression. That might be hard to pull off though. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 18:37, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Not really just change the narrator's name to David Attenbouragh (spell check that though) because anyone who knows who he is will know how to read it (not to mention he actually is the narrator of Planet Earth (I think)).

Alright that sounds good. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 18:42, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Yet another useless award

Rabbi Techno awards you this lovely Mechanical Thing because you voted for something I wrote to be featured. Cheers!

bird smoking cigarettes? how delightfully absurd! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:30, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

♪Operator...♪

Is that guy on your userpage the guy who sings that song? I like that song! ... Ok, bye! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 15:56, May 5

it is indeed, the great jim croce. he also sings about shooting pool and putting stuff in bottles. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:30, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Typo

Well spotted and well done. Thanks :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:27, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

no problem at all, good sir. excellent article. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:32, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Cheers - the idea to do it came out of the blue one day. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:36, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Phanks!

"Joshy, what do you say to all the nice boys and girls...?" Uh… Oh yeah thanks! Mrs Peterson said that I had to thank you all for voting on my story, even if you do all have stupid names. Daddy read it too and then he told me that he lied about the sharks as well as his hands being tied up! Mummy gave him a row though so it’s ok now. But now I want to know what the men and women who fight the boy-eating sharks do! Dandelion thinks they’re bankers.

And much with Why?:Am I a Power Ranger? your advice was invaluable! :D ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:18 6 May 2009

Free Stuff

While I was over at the Googleplex researching History of Google I managed to grab a load of these promotional t-shirts. Here's one for you because you voted for the article on VFH! Model not included. Thankyou from Rabbi Techno

Delivery

Can I start delivering the UnSignpost? Before other obligations prevent me from doing so... —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:58, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

sure. i wanted a last word from UU, but it seems he's away and i'm confident in the issue. thanks so much socky! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:00, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

You're welcome. Maybe UU is having some fun with the wife. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:02, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

May 5th, 2009 • First Anniversary Issue! • Disdaining news in favour of blatant self-promotion

Self-Proclaimed Greatest Newspaper on the Wiki Reaches First Birthday By UU Can you believe it? We can't - particularly as we're only on issue number 46 - and yet it's true, the greatest piece of talkpage spam in the history of this shabby little wiki (and the most modest too) celebrates its first anniversary! Birthed in a blaze of optimism and creativity by fiendish evil genius Dr. Skullthumper and mythical user-in-exile Cajek at the start of May 2008, the UnSignpost was intended to shine a light into the dark corners of the wiki, keeping users up-to-date with anything worth keeping up-to-date with. In this special article, we examine what went wrong, where that glorious vision got corrupted, and how it has ended up in its current state. The early issues were churned out at a great rate by the founding editors, and Cajek was so enthused by the project that he suggested to Skullthumper that they should move to a twice-weekly release - fortunately, this suggestion was shot down in flames by the doc, or the paper may never have celebrated a second month, let alone a full year! Skullthumper was first to leave the Signpost behind for pastures new, perhaps feeling his work was already done. Looking back nostalgically now at those heady early days, Skull exclusively observed: "Well! Working on the UnSignpost in the beginning was a really fun experience, not gonna lie. Cajek and I were both super excited about it. I'm glad it existed through to today, entirely by the help of other people. The setup was seriously the most fun part. We had NO clue what we were doing, we were experimenting with formatting, content, and a bot that only worked half the time. To summarize: It kicked ass. I had no idea it was about a year ago that it started." With only Cajek powering it, the Signpost forged onwards, but was beginning to run into troubled waters - even Cajek's legendary enthusiasm was beginning to founder, and when he began to struggle for time, he asked DJ Irreverent to take the helm. We asked Cajek for a nostalgic comment about the Signpost, but he was unavailable, so instead here's a random line from one of his articles: "Also, don't be surprised if you go to jail for what society deems "gross", "horrible", and "Satanic": it's all part of being an ant keeper... and an ant "watcher"". The DJ managed to steady the ship (how long can we sustain this metaphor?), but struggled to handle the torch he'd been passed by his adopter (looks like we didn't sustain it very long - never mind!). Asked to comment on this turbulent period, the DJ exclusively remarked: "I dropped said torch like a ton of bricks as a good child should always do. I could not take on the family business, I needed to dance. Anyway, I wrote about 2 articles". So the pattern of users taking over the paper, only to burn out and abandon it again was becoming well established. Next in the editor's chair was UU, who lasted about 6 issues, before becoming so overwhelmed by the pressures of the paper that he went and got married in order to have a good excuse to get away from it for a few weeks. Recalling those halcyon days, UU told us exclusively: "I love the Signpost, and have had a great time working on it. It does get in the way of writing real articles though, as some users might testify, and it can be a pain to come up with stories each week - hopefully this issue might spark a few people to put some more ideas in the press room". Fortunately, UU had taken the foresighted step of questioning the staying power of one Gerrycheevers in a previous issue's "comeback of the week" box, and Gerry was so determined to prove he had what it took, that he took over the paper while UU swanned off around the world. Cheevers's time at the helm brought such classic issues as the all-kitten issue, and his exclusive dewy-eyed remembrances run thusly: "I'm proud for having successfully stolen this periodical from Cajek and Skull, and I look forward to many more years of turning forums into news stories, dredging up old features that nobody cares about, and of course making tedious Cajek ban jokes. I also demand a raise and Cajek's office!" Unfortunately, Cheevers's staying power lived up to UU's expectations, and Gerry took another small break. UU returned to the paper, and frantically enlisted contributions from the likes of Orian57 and Heerenveen to keep the wheels of news turning smoothly. Asked for comment on his input, Orian exclusively told us: "It's a been a great help in bonding together this community. And it's made things more interesting, what with everyone trying to do news worthy things just to get their names in the paper. Or something, I can't manufacture funny under pressure and this is pressure because you're gonna put this in the paper just to humiliate me now, aren't you?". Hv, meanwhile, exclusively commented: "It's amazing that our wonderful newspaper has lasted for so long, especially when you figure the us editors have had nothing to work with but "OMGZ THIS WIKI IZ D00MED" stories since about Issue IV. It's a great tribute to the us editors' ability to make Cajek-filled fluff pieces up on the fly. Maybe they we should try for the Daily Mail?". Gerrycheevers has been fully back on board since early this year, UU is still hanging around in between banning people and huffing stuff, and with other contributors still pitching in, plus a plentiful supply of Cajek bans to use as padding (see next story), it looks like the immediate future of the paper is in good competent human some kind of hands. Want to join the list of over 25 people who have contributed to the paper since its inception? Or want to join the ranks of hand-deliverers and paperbots that have been burned out along the way, and now line the wiki as lifeless husks? Give us a shout in the press room, and become part of the Uncyc furniture! Wish we'd gotten a quote from Cajek though. Bastard. Cajek 100 Ban Extravaganza By Gerrycheevers During the very same week that Uncyclopedia's most well-known journalism source (suck it, UnNews!) celebrates its first birthday with much cake and punch, one of its co-founders achieved his own personal milestone by being banned for the one hundredth time. Rumors of making Cajek an admin when he reached the milestone have thus far not proven to be true, although he may have magically gained sysop powers upon entering triple-digit territory and we just won't know it until he comes back from wherever he's hiding in a hailstorm of admin-related activity (whatever it is that they do). The milestone was reached largely thanks to users such as Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, who took to the streets in a grassroots effort to raise awareness, and Gerrycheevers, who went directly to certain sysops with demonstrably active bansticks pleading for a "Cajek-whooping." The landmark 100th ban was achieved yesterday, with the good Dr. Skullthumper blocking Cajek with an expiry time of "a milestone". The UnSignpost would like to congratulate Cajek, and also plead for his return. Cajek was unavailable for comment, and this reporter was once again chased off of the grounds of the Cajek Mansion, this time by the abstract philosophical concept of existentialism. From the desk of the Cabal Special By No-one The cabal is most displeased with this apparent so called "newspaper" or "voice of the people". What news could there be other than "maintain the peace and obey the cabal, should it exist"? What voice should the people have other than "Yes sir", "No sir" and "Of course, I'll send my sister post haste to your bedroom, Sir"? This useless rag might let people think that the Uncyclopedians have a modicum of freedom. We the cabal, do not exist. But if we did, we'd be most unpleased and just about prepared to clamp down on this operation. Obey the cabal, the cabal is your imaginary friend.

Check out these pages! 3,422 and going strong! No winner yet declared in 'not pointless' forum A blast from the past Best of From our logs: 09:23, 30 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a gay admin ‎ (you like rahb. rahb = penis. therefore you like penis. therefore you = ghey. this logic is irrefutable. also, morning mordillo.) 11:00, 15 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Slicktorine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbullying: We just don't care about you or your friends. Sorry. I suggest you ask him for a date. He's probably a really nice guy.) 02:46, 8 February 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 97.83.236.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fer the love of Christ, you make me think I actually have a life. You've been doing the same God damn thing since the summer. Just fuck off already.) 08:25, 13 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Tardman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (I love being a cunt, it makes my hair glow) Codeine (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wild sweaty orgies" (If anyone's gonna write an article about these it'll be me. I've done the research.) 02:14, 10 December 2008 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.142.37.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hi. Welcome to Uncyc. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here. We did too.) 04:57, 23 October 2008 Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs) blocked TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Intimidating behaviour/harassment: & Not The Good Sexual Kind of Harassment Either) 04:20, 22 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.15.244.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You, sir, have gone above and beyond the call of failure. Now that may sound like a compliment, but read it again, paying special attention to that last word. Yeah.) 7:41, 20 September 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Just got back. Haven't banned Cajek in a month. Gotta get my fix. CLICK. Aaaaaah yeeeeeahhh. That's gooood shit.) 19:36, 21 September 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Reggie4 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You have 2 cows. Both of them are banned.) 21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.) 23:56, 20 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Swampgas (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (congratulations, now you can add us to your list of sites you got banned from for being a bellend) 07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.) 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) Biopic of the Week 1 year old this week, the UnSignpost is the wiki-based newspaper vain enough to give itself a biopic! It has yet to write any featured articles, and hasn't even created a single featured image, but it's appeared on almost as many talk pages as a Modus one-liner, and is certainly the longest-lived newspaper on this wiki. Vive l'UnSignpost! Thankies of the Week The staff of the UnSignpost would like to thank all our readers for pretending to care long enough for us to reach this milestone. We couldn't have done it without you. (Well, we could, but there wouldn't have been much point). Retraction of the Week In last week's edition of the UnSignpost, the current swine flu pandemic was hailed as a blessing, and our editors expressed hope that the world population would be reduced, making references to particular groups of people as 'expendable'. We would like to express our deepest apologies for referring to this epidemic as 'swine flu', and we will henceforth refer to it by the disease's proper name: H1N1 influenza. We are truly sorry to any pigs or other members of the swine family who may have taken offense. Old School Featured Article of the Week Water Polo... With Sharks! is possibly the most difficult, dangerous, and exciting sport known to man. With only slight rules variations from normal water polo, such as the amount of hands you can have on the ball and there being sharks in the water, Water Polo... With Sharks! is the world's second fastest-growing sport, behind Texas Hold 'Em... With Rabid Wolverines! Pathetic Plea of the Week What has happened to all of the robots? The UnSignpost has gone through a seemingly endless supply of robots, and several unsuspecting and apparently bored users have also hand-delivered the paper when no automated bots were available. Lately, Sock and Dexter have joined forces to ensure prompt Signpost delivery, but surely the task of pasting the paper onto thousands hundreds dozens of talk pages will result in arm fatigue and dog attacks. Therefore, a plea: everyone create more robots! Old School 'Of the Week' Box of the Week This Week in Uncyclopedia, featured in issues 3 through three, took a look back at some of the greatest highs and crushing lows in the history of this silly wiki. Look for this box to make a triumphant return to the UnSignpost, along with other old favorites such as UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week and Reason For Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

---

Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:33, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Hi there

I'm not too good with maths, there is an article created from a redirect, I have no idea whether it's any good or not: Hexadecimal, can you help?:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:04, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

i'll take a look, and we can strike up a conversation on the talk page. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:23, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

For that review! It was again, very helpful and informative. I realllly liked that idea of having his life only being hard for a muppet. But then again, the concept of him going through the real world's troubles would be lost. So I am going to make another version and see what people think. Thanks again! ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 18:22, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

it will indeed be a challenge, but i trust you're up for it! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:24, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Hello again

Blimey, we always seem to run into each other, don't we? Anyway, I've made some tonal adjustments to Gazelle, and wondered if you thought it worked betterer now? Also, nice job polishing up last week's issue to a high degree of shine - sorry I wasn't around to give a nod of approval, I was probably at a birthday celebration: everyone I know seems to have been born in May, making it the most expensive month of the year (no kidding, Christmas is cheap by comparison!) Anyway, I'm off again, but keep doing the loads of awesome things that mark you out as Gerrycheevers! --UU - natter 20:52, May 11

hello again, UU. we do make quite the dynamic duo. i'll take a look at gazelle sometime today (hopefully) and leave a few thoughts on the talky page or here or your talky page...SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:22, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Two Things

First, here is my revised version of Oscar the Grouch. I changed it quite a bit according to your review. What do you think? Also, what do you think of my new sig?    Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   01:21, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

i'll give it another look and let you know how it feels. sig stealer! i'm calling the police! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:23, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh I didn't steal this sig from you. I assure you. I found something similar on another wiki (the name escapes me at the moment) and changed it a bit.    Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   18:33, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

interesting, it looked similar at first glance, but now i can see your changes. as far as the oscar the grouch article, i like it a lot! i think you did a great job with the 'sesame street dark' approach. it needs a streamline, mostly with grammar and a bit of formatting, so if you want i can do that for you and then i'd be happy to pop it onto VFH as i think it's got what it takes! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:09, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Wow really? Well if you think it ready than by all means go ahead! Make any changes you feel necessary.    Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   20:30, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

sweet. i might not get to it today as it's almost quitting time here in boston, and my beloved bruins face the dark spectre of elimination tonite, so i won't be dallying. but by tomorrow for certain i'll get to it! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:38, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

No problem thanks alot!    Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   20:42, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

alright tagsy, i've given it a proofread and added a tidbit or two. the only remaining issue is the lemonade stand image, which no longer fits with the rest of the article. maybe you could persuade sonje to chop it again, with 'candy' replacing 'lemonade'? once that issue is cleared up, let me know and i'll be happy to nom. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:50, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 14th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

May 14th, 2009 • Issue 47 • And you will know our name is the UnSignpost when we lay our news upon you!

Wales Speaks Exclusively to UnSignpost! by UU It's the big one folks, the interview they all wanted, but we got: shy, retiring Wikimedia mogul Jimbo Wales has spoken exclusively to your UnSignpost. Wales (pictured right in happier times) took time out from his busy schedule of inserting further Liberal bias into Wikipedia to share with us his thoughts on the credit crunch, the Obama administration, the Pope's visit to the Middle East, and the future of Uncyclopedia, and the insight is literally devastating in its incisiveness. When pressed on these vital issues, Jimbo confided to us: "You kids get offa my pipe! Now, where's my lawn?" These are words that every user will interpret in their own special way - Jimbo, like all great orators, has the ability to make profound pronouncements that each and every listener will put their own unique spin on, so that it seems he is talking to them alone. Whatever pearl of wisdom you find in this oracular utterance, we are sure it is exactly what you were intended to find. Crowning Acheevement by UU UnSignpost co-editor, Imperial Colonization lynchpin and all-round star user Gerrycheevers has made Uncyclopedian history by becoming the first user ever to win all of the major monthly awards on the wiki: WotM, UotM, NotM, FPotM, and PotM. Plus RotM, although that's not really considered "major". This astonishing fact was pointed out by RAHB, proving quite conclusively that he must have no life whatsoever. When asked for comment, Gerry exclusively told us: "Well, I don't know what to say, really. I suppose my well-roundedness speaks volumes about my excessive amount of free time. My next objective will be to obtain a microphone and continue my quixotic quest to collect all of the awards". Rules < Funny: The Essay by UU Loveable Uncyc pyromaniac The Woodburninator, long known for his views on how "rules" and "funny" should relate to each other, has, in an alcohol-induced "moment of clarity", composed an essay on the subject. He encourages you to read it, and exclusively told us he questions the sexuality of everyone who doesn't. As a completely neutral wiki newspaper, the UnSignpost of course neither endorses nor doesn't endorse any of the views contained within the essay. It just agrees with some of them. Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it? by Joe9320 It has been about a year and a half since Uncyclopedia's once shining usergroup network stopped operating and became extinct. As ever in such circumstances, conspiracy theories have quickly sprung up to explain how this could have happened. Some say that when Chronarion left Uncyclopedia to focus on another project, he left it to the Wikia staff to do all the patrolling, which caused Uncyclopedia's domain name to be changed in October 2008, and the user groups were left to rot with no activity, like the Hittites did when they destroyed their own city and left. Others say that UNSOC killed off every other usergroup, from the Grue Army to UNATO, and had a monopoly on the usergroups. Whether the theories are true or not, the usergroups appear to have all but died. In January 2009, archaeologists from the Philippines dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader Necropaxx was heard to observe "UNSOC has about 3 or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers". The non-existent Cabal have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously.

Check out these pages! Rewriters, assemble! Confessions of a parody parodist Who needs publicity? From our logs: 18:42, 27 April 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I AM GOD (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Zeus called. He wants his title back. Something about missing having an excuse for incest.) 21:58, 13 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.47.141.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(seek the definition of life in the dictionary. Hint: it does not include so called venegance against humor wikis. Also, seek the definition of vengance. Creating wiki pages does not constitue as such.) 12:49, 14 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.41.56.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank pages, it's proof you have even less of a life than we do.) Biopic of the Week Colin "All your base" Heaney may possibly have the most annoying username to have to copy and paste into a Signpost biopic in all of Uncyclopedia. A mainstay in such helpful roles as VFD, Colin's accomplishments include contributions to the famed Al Gore colonization, having explosions in his sig that look rather cool when he signs a bunch of times in a row, and setting the record for most electrons used in a userpage and corresponding talk page. Go Colin! Cajek Sighting of the Week Co-founder of the UnSignpost Cajek was sighted this week in an alley behind his userpage, taking out the trash. He also updated his ban counter to a robust 117 and added electricity and magic to the iron fences surrounding the Cajek Mansion. Look for an exclusive fake interview with Cajek in next week's UnSignpost! Desperate Attention Seeker of the Week 00:55, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (The) 00:55, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (UnSignpost) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Had) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Better) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Run) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (This) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Series) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (of) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Bans) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Next) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Week) (There were more. We got bored copy/pasting them. Find the rest yourself)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:25, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Der Unwehr

Check this out, and join if you really want to: User:Guildensternenstein/Der Unwehr —Sir Guildensternenstein 21:31, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Oscar the grouch again

Is done! Take a look and see if it looks all wrapped up please if you have a minute!    Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   01:30, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 21st

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

May 21st, 2009 • Issue 48 • I've seen news you... people wouldn't believe

Glorious Cajek return story By Socky Something known as a "Cajek" apparently made some sort of return recently. According to eyewitnesses, he updated his ban counter, wrote a few articles, got some of his old articles deleted, did some nominating and voting stuff at VFH, and made several comments on user talk pages. This, seemingly, is about what he used to do, although few of our readers are old enough to remember his previous contributions to Uncyclopedia. Cajek exclusively told us the following: "Gotta go bye see ya". People disappearing, people reappearing, people with little time on their hands, bots unavailable By Socky & UU What happened to users like MrN9000, Dexter111344, GlobalTourniquet and DrStrange? Were they run over by a train? Did they suffer from a heart attack? Are they running from the law? Or are we just getting too worked up after a couple of weeks' absence? Whatever be the case, we here at the UnSignpost hope they are all right and will be returning to us in the near future. More recently, it has come to our notice that Gerrycheevers, Sonje and RabbiTechno have been missing for at least a couple of days. Perhaps there is a serial killer stalking and brutally murdering bright Uncyc talents? (Are we getting good at this whole "wild press speculation and fear-mongering" thing yet or what?) In the mean time, fortunately, several other users have made glorious returns to Uncyclopedia. As documented elsewhere, a Cajek is apparently back and doing stuff. MNM5150 has been doing some things around places, mostly the forums. Readmesoon has been spotted at VFH and a few talkpages. Yettie has been sporadically active. And Todd Lyons has been doing more stuff recently than he was doing less recently. A lot of users seem to be unable to contribute as their work/school requires them to spend their time on "useful" things. The more young adult users/little kids seem to be struggling with certain "finals", like Mahm00shA for instance. SysRq appears to be working on his graduation. Statistics show that Hyperbole's activity has been rather low, but recently increased dramatically. For how long this trend will continue is uncertain. UU has been here intermittently, but keeps proclaiming himself to be "busy". He commented "I don't have time. In fact, I may not even have time for banning and deleting today, things are going fucking nuts! [...] I have teetering mounds of work, and nowhere near enough time! Arrrrrgh! (I almost feel a second exclamation mark coming on, but nothing's that bad...)" He then proved himself to be a big fat liar by editing this story and various other bits of the UnSignpost. Additionally, while Wikipedia is being overrun by bots, they seem to have gone completely extinct on Uncyclopedia. This has led to our beloved Socky becoming partly mechanized in order to fill the role of paperbot. However, he is currently planning to get his bot operational so he won't have to tire his arse off every week. Porn! Porn! Pr0n! By Socky There has been somewhat of a controversy as of lately about the existence of supposed pornographic images on Uncyclopedia. Some support the view "Only if it's funny.", while others say "Meh." The controversy led Orian57 to put all his gay porn on QVFD. Optimuschris was quoted saying "I don't know what the fuss is all about, there's no porn on Uncyclopedia!" The discussion seems to have concluded in something like "If it's really bothering you and isn't funny in any way, delete it!" Mnbvcxz might also want to add that pictures showing prominent nudity could give rise to some legal issues, though he wasn't actually available for comment, so we can't really be sure. Usergroups! Usergroups! Usergroups! By Socky War is raging in usergroup land. IC, suffering major losses, has been grinded to a halt and was forced into defensive strategy, regressing to trench warfare. But UNSOC, with masses of new recruits, has declared an all out war against any potential competition. Meanwhile, a new powerful group has arisen, Der Unwehr, and they have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with. The Goa Tse Clan has gone into hiding and remains a mystery to most Uncyclopedians. "The End" is being foretold once more By Socky Since this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make it to the press, it was inevitable that there would be foretellings of "The End" and it being "near". On Forum:Count to a million, Orian57 was found stating "we could all die [...] then how stupid would we look?" A lot of users made somewhat eccentric speculations on how several issues were related to this "impending doom". Multiliteralist, Cajek and Optimuschris posted the following "articles" in response to a request to write something for the UnSignpost. Porn and the impending doom By Multiliteralist As we all know, the impending doom to all good things is caused by porn. This vile practice of drawing pictures of naked women has spread so wide among our young men that it is almost impossible to get them to do anything else. User groups and the impending doom By Cajek No wai, the impending doom is caused by user groups! Impending doom and porn By Optimuschris Our porn! The usergroups are coming, and with them...impending doom! Treasure these last few mumble with your porn for the end is nigh! First person article about porn and impending doom By Multiliteralist I was in a usergroup, watching porn. Suddenly I understood watching porn in a usergroup would do nothing against the impending doom. I got rather stuck, and forgot the reason. Later, I forgot about the impending doom as well. That's what watching porn in a usergroup will do to you. Suddenly I understood: if you are the first person in a usergroup, nobody can make you watch porn. My advice if you are in a usergroup and someone tries to make you watch some porn, avert your eyes! if you see porn, remember that the doom is impending. The perfect solution to problems with porn, usergroups, and the impending doom Form your own usergroup and make others watch porn!

Check out these pages! A "clever" forum topic? Has the world gone completely insane? What in the name of Sophia is a "clan"? Voting to close voting on a votey type thing? From our logs MOTHERFUCKING NIGGER LOVER SPECIAL: 21:34, 14 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Nevada" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 21:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 21:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Why is the fucking nigger vandal back? I figured he would have killed himself by now, the little waste of sperm......) 01:38, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "ROMAN DOG BIRD IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Anybody else here a nigger faggot? Oh, wait, we all probably are. *goes back to eating his god damn fried chicken w/ Colt 45 on the side*) 05:49, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.212.236.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fucking one trick pony. And stop accusing all of us of being black, you worthless little prick. You do realise how gay that makes you sound when you tell us to suck your dick, right?) 05:55, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "UNDER USER IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK 24/7" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, you're a clever little cookie, aren't you? I can't WAIT for you to do this me. Too bad I might not be up at the time...oh well.) 06:08, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "ROMAN DOG BIRD IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK 24/7" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, fuck it, I want to see what this little mongoloid can come up with instead, if anything. But seriously folks, in all seriousness, I'm as black as they get. A friend of mine told me this once.) 18:09, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Joseph Stalin" [edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [move=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) ‎ (Yeah, Bill Cosby pounded me up my gay nigger ass last night. It was HOTT.) 20:27, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.46.52.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Please end your life right now. Go take one od your father's guns, load it, put it in your mouth, and pull the trigger.) 20:30, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" ‎ (Oh God, first the nigger vandal returns, and then you're ugly ass shows up again to "torment" us with your worthless crap. You need to kill yourself as well.) 20:31, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" ‎ (No, really. Tie a noose, put it around your head, hang yourself. Simple.) 20:32, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Yeah, yeah, we know already, you little crybaby. What did we ever do to you? Oh, wait, all you can do is cry and moan and make pages with periods and then blank them. Speech is beyond you, I guess.) 20:33, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (And I've never been more serious about this whole suicide thing. I've been reluctant to tell you people to do so in the past, but I really don't care anymore. It's not like you're really going to do it. I'm sure you're having a blast doing this every day.) 20:37, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNNEWS SUCKS!" ‎ (I'm sure you're not as much of a lower life form as I think you are. You just love doing this, knowing how much it irritates us. Me especially, as I'm the only one willing to type out messages this long in response.) 20:40, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!" ‎ (I wonder what else you'll come up with. Are you just going to keep adding exclamation points? You must be one of the angriest people on the planet or something. You're worse than Idi Amin and God combined.) 20:40, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!" ‎ (And I'm sure shit like this has been done before. Originality certainly is dead. I mean, can you get any lamer?) 20:42, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!" ‎ (But really now, what if nobody deleted this shit? What if we let you and the nigger vandal just do what you always do? Would you assimilate the website so it's all the same shit? OH! What if you two got into a conflict?! That would be comedy bronze!) 20:43, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!" ‎ (God, just imagine you two going at it, two little twats who think they're the rebellious type going at it, with.....with......oh man....) 20:50, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.96.165.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yes it does. You're a real rebel aren't you? I bet you've murdered many blacks before and beaten up various others. I am TERRIFIED of you.) 20:51, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Kentuckistan" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (You're talking about how we're nigger faggots like it's a bad thing. Well, if you keep talking about putting your dick in my mouth, that clearly makes you gay. Don't try to tell me you like women. You haven't said anything to prove this.) 22:19, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Ohio" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, so it's a domination thing, right? You can't possibly be gay since you're making me suck your cock, but I'm the one enjoying it since I'm a gay nigger, which is the type of person you hate. Right, okay, but do you like women? Y'know, with the vaginer?) 15:50, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked ZooZoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Your mother is a nigger. You are what you hate.) 17:43, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.94.198.122 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (TYLER LIONS!!! YOU KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!!!!! AND MORDILLO IS A JEW, MY NIGGER!!!!!!!) 17:50, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Maryland" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 17:50, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 17:50, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Tyler Lions? Never heard a more niggerish name then that! Let's lynch 'em!!!!!!) 20:27, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Louisiana" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 20:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 20:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Well, you're finally listening to me! But Hitler's been long dead! How the fuck is he going to take out Mordildo? Don't talk for my nigguh hitler, man.) 15:42, 18 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Work" [edit=sysop] (expires 15:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=sysop] (expires 15:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Yo nigga, imma gonna break free from deese chains and fill yo cracka ass up wit mah dick, honkey bitch) Biopic of the Week MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER is the token black admin. Known for his rampant homosexuality and love of sucking the cocks of racist vandals, he's forever spoiling the fun of innocent, hardworking vandals by deleting their masterpieces about their friends, and then adds insult to injury by banning them with excitable and lengthy comments. Bastard. He'll probably get lynched by the KKK before too long. Cajek Notice of the Week He was banned a couple times. No, seriously. See for yourself.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:09, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey Faggot!

Or alternatively, hi there! I noticed your name was listed on IC. I also noticed that our latest project is in need of some help. So I put two and two together and realized I should ask Modus. When he told me to get bent, I immediately thought of you. I'm setting an arbitrary deadline for this one at next week Saturday, so if sometime in the next week you can tear yourself away from your porn collection and maybe contribute a line or two it'd be appreciated. We're counting on you, <insert name here>! -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:38, 23 May Dictated; not read.

Where'd you run off to? -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:38, 23 May

Ello

I've heard you're pretty adept with UnNews. So, how do you get your article on the template on the front page? Staircase CUN^t 22:47, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Also, Do you do anything in the Adopt-A-Noob program? I've heard you're pretty cool and I'm looking for someone to adopt me. Staircase CUN^t 16:39, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Just so your not disappointed by a slow repsonse or none at all, Gerry is on vacation so he will not be here. He said he is gone for good which may be true or a joke, I am not sure.    Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   16:55, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh. I hope it's a joke. Staircase CUN^t 16:56, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Me too.    Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   16:58, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

For good? Man, I hope not. You'd better come back, Gerry, or I'll infiban your ass! Yeah, you heard! If you stay away, I'll ban you so you can't come back! That'll work! Exclamation mark! Also, I'll miss you even less than I missed that Cajek thing (I'm still not clear exactly what it is), so I'll certainly never vandalise your userpage on occasion or anything. Bastard. --UU - natter 08:26, May 28

staircase, i am not invlolved in the adopt-a-n00b program, although i see cajek has taken you under his proverbial wing. if you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask, though. if you're still having trouble with the unnews front page template let me know.

uu: oi! keep away from my userpage, you sewer-dwelling crumpet-lover! you think i could ever rip myself away from uncyc for more than a few weeks? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:40, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Thank ye

Thanks for voting for my article, Dear Diary. And do rest assured that I am not a violent or vindictive person, and that voting no would have in no way resulted in me abusing my administrative powers to crush you like a grape. ~ Todd Lyons

Yeah, Gerry Cheevers is the worst synchronized diver in history!

He totally sucks at tennis or bowling or Gnip-Gnop or whatever! Anyway, I looked through the Unsignposts I missed while on haitus, and you are a fucking amazing writer, Gerry. Please keep up the good work!   Le Cejak • <17:46 May 28, 2009>

do not speak ill of the gnip-gnop skills of the great gerry cheevers! it's my pleasure to keep the unsignpost going. i'll be around only sporadically for the summer, but it's good to see you've been sucked back in to this silly website to at least some degree! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:42, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

May 28th, 2009 • Issue 49 • The kind of news your momma warned you about

Going Portal by UU Under conditions of great secrecy, a select group of talented volunteers has been slaving away at the wiki-coalface, dedicating themselves to the selfless task of bringing Uncyclopedia a dedicated selection of portal pages. And now their tireless efforts are starting to bear fruit, with the first few being linked on the Main Page by noted twirly star of David, Mordillo. He proudly flagged them up as "new!", until Bradaphraser, more accurately understanding the IQ of the average Uncyclopedian, flagged then as "newd!" instead. What, some of you may ask, are portal pages? Well, rather than have us explain it laboriously for you (because that sounds like, you know, effort), why not take a look at the following highly sexy portals: Politics; Games; Science; History and Art. And with more to come including the intriguing concept of a Quaint portal from Cajek, one thing's for sure: there has recently been an increase in the number of portals on Uncyclopedia. What? Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia! by Docile hippopotamus Actually, Nile and Nile related articles are not invading Uncyclopedia - we merely wanted to say that to see if you, the reader, were gullible enough to believe it. And you were. More like, "Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia hoax!" Let's find out what Sir Edward Mahm00shA, professor of Egyptian history and archaeology at Oxford university exclusively had to say about this: "It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth". See now? Undeniable proof from Sir Edward Mahm00shA that the band is chilling with him and have not even mentioned invading Uncyclopedia. We also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he exclusively replied: "Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story". Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists - very afraid. To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal.

Check out these pages! A true Uncyc legend returns! Promise to make a vote, the whole vote and nothing but the vote Big audio dynamite From our logs: 19:47, 25 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 88.208.208.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yep, you're really trying, I see. Great, keep the laughs coming, Mr. Funny Man.) 09:37, 25 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.146.77.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You meant "make love to me, she dog") 20:43, 24 May 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.154.2.5 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Vandalizing articles, smearing dog shit all over Todd Lyons's car, etc.) 10:48, 23 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.211.138.192 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank, I'm running out of insulting ban reasons.) Biopic of the Week Todd Lyons has been on Uncyclopedia forever. No, seriously, he started editing in 2005 - and he's still here! He cut his article writing teeth on Dwight Schultz, and went on to write a further 98 of the buggers, while nailing his first feature with Fecal E.Coli, which started a run of 18.5 front page appearances up to the recent Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters. He's been an admin longer than most of our readership have been users. Put together. And he still has all his own teeth, he tells us! Blatant Filler of the Week This box here, which is blatant padding so the formatting of this issue looks about right. Cajek ban of the Week 22:16, 26 May 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Unacceptable username: ...too few recent bans for my liking....)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

The only newspaper to be delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:59, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

hey gerry?

Just wondering if I could get some advice on writing in-depth pee reviews? It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Thanks!

I just came by to thank all you. Because you did something I like to see in this newer generation, and that's appreciating those of us on the wrong side of 50. These days, getting featured isn't as easy as it used to be. Why, back in my day any ol' whippersnapper could throw something together and put it on the front page. Not anymore, not anymore at all. So I am glad to see myself on the front page of the good ol' wiki before I die. I guess its nothing big, but oh well. Anyways, I got to get back to helping Elmo now, so I better get going (he thinks his dresser is trying to kill him again.)

   Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   17:50, 31 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 4th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!

Todd not Lionised by all? By UU Uncyclopedia's long-cherished status as the worst was given a massive fillip this week with the discovery that genial admin Todd Lyons has his own Facebook hate group. This considerable accomplishment has to be considered among the highest praise ever bestowed on an admin of this wiki. Kosher kvetcher Mordillo even opined that it makes him the #1 admin on the wiki, as "even Mhaille doesn't have a hate group!" Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings By Gerrycheevers As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism.

Check out these pages! Image spam Another one bites the dust Admin competence? From our logs: 01:08, 3 June 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.8.59.236 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (So far you've edited the pages 'your mom' and 'school'. Want me to try and guess your age?) 07:46, 2 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.17.189.150 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bored fuckes should go fuck boards. It's too early in the morning and I can't think of anything smart to say) 20:04, 30 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 174.117.160.23 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Cyberbullying: we don't want to hear about people you know and why you want to suck their dick. I know that's not quite what you said, but something about what you said implied it) 20:38, 29 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Da Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (PLEASE MASSUH WHIP ME, OH MAH GOD, I'M GETTIN' SO HOT, I'LL SUCK YO DICK!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week The very Reverend Zim ulator is the undisputed, acknowledged, and slightly puce master of UnNews. As such, reporting about him in a newspaper may be an act of such metaphysical self-referentialism that it creates a negative feedback loop, destroying the universe, or at least this wiki. But, in the name of bringing Zim's name to our readership, that's a risk we're willing to take. We'd normally link to a bunch of stuff he's done at this point, but just take a look at UnNews - as we mentioned, he's basically the guy who keeps it all tickin'. Rats off to ya, Zim! Old School Featured Article of the Week In a week when Obama is trying to reach out to the Muslim community, perhaps it is an apt time to consider how far he is going to have to reach. Will he ever be able to bridge the gap all the way to the readership of American Fundie Magazine? "The magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist", and is just as relevant today as it was way back in 2006. VFD kept article of the week Plan 11 from Outer Space has been referred to as "amusing", "pretty funny" and "hilarious". Go see why people thought it worth having around.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Delievered by Saberwolf116 02:28, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

An important announcement from your friends at IC.

Did you know *snicker*...Ahem. Did you know that SYSRQ IS TEH GHEYZORS? LOLOLOL!

Also, we've decided to keep our Colonization projects contained to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/project for your watchlisting convenience. Put it in your watchlist and try to remember to add a cuss word or something once in a while eh?

Also also, I heard that Gerry likes the smell of his own farts.

Have fun Colonizers and let's be careful out there. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:08, 6 Jun

Handy suppository form?

Gerry, you are, remain, and shall always be so much better at this than me! ;-) --UU - natter 14:48, Jun 10

when in doubt, go with butt humor. did you know the butt contains the third largest amount of humor out of all the organs in the human body?

anyway, thanks! i don't know about better, though, as you're certainly more consistent than i am at any rate. will you be penciling in a story this week? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:54, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

You know how I always seem to be saying I'm really busy recently, then do stuff anyway? Well, I'm even busier than that right now (actually, this is true, although I seem to be finding time for this comment), and as such was kind of wondering if I was going to get any USP time at all this week. So seeing you lay that sweet funky thang down is such a blessing! If you have any other emergency article ideas around, this may be a good time to deploy them. However, if we still lack for another article this time tomorrow, I'll do my usual "last minute caffeine powered panic" thing and throw something in. Now, back to trying to do way too much. When am I going to get that third arm I ordered? --UU - natter 15:36, Jun 10

sounds excellent, sir. i really don't know how you manage to contribute here as well as be productive at work...SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:40, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, mainly by abandoning all hope of writing anything new, and not even trying to be funny beyond the occasional creative ban, if I'm honest. Although this brief lobster interlude has reminded me this place can be fun. --UU - natter 20:20, Jun 10

fun??? no fun allowed for admins! go ban someone...and it better not be me!! i could get used to this collab stuff...SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:03, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Victory for vandalism

Look at what your vandalism inspired me and UU to rewrite completely! Bastard.   Le Cejak • <1:59 Jun 11, 2009>

Add stuff! Bastard.   Le Cejak • <3:08 Jun 11, 2009>

AWESOME! You and I... we think a lot alike. (Great stuff, Gerry! Let's... keep adding stuff?)   Le Cejak • <15:54 Jun 11, 2009>

thanks! not sure if it was going to work out with the cajek-y tone of the rest of the article. but maybe a deadpan tone in one or two sections would complement your self-described 'off the deep end' approach, which is hilarious. let's keep adding stuff indeed! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:00, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Holy crap that was good /me scuttles away to lobster up some of those lines you added (in the popular culture and other family members sections) on to my favorite quotes template   Le Cejak • <17:33 Jun 11, 2009>

Thing about the list

Hi Gerry, as someone who has had the deep pleasure of updating the list, would you care to weigh in on this discussion? --UU - natter 08:12, Jun 11

Sup Ger?

So, have you given up on us over at IC? I've been trying to keep it going, but I sure could use some help. A lack of voting has left us with Singapore as our current colonization (with three votes) and nobody, myself included, really seems to have an idea what to do with it. Could I persuade you to stop in and maybe lend a hand? I wanna get a PEE review on it this weekend and take one week after the PEE to finish it up. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:17, 11 Jun

yea, i've been trying to get back to uncyc, and it seems i've succeeded for the moment. how we ended up with singapore is beyond me, but we can at least hack out the fat and insert some silly, and end up with a decent article. i'll be back to ICing shortly...SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:19, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

That was basically my thought as well. We've spent the past two weeks just removing crap from the existing article, but nobody (again, myself included) seems to have anything to add. Hopefully I'll have some time to devote to writing this Saturday. And it's good to see you still about, loved the C-3P0 article! -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:28, 11 Jun

Thanks +

YOU ARE LOVED! And in appreciation for your donation to The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association I am sending a sign of my personal love for you — your very own polyester prayer handkerchief, suitable for wiping the tears of joyous revelation. ~ B. G.

And, so long as I'm here, will Cajek be getting a mention for his fan tune in the signpost this week?  :) --T. (talk) 19:15, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

i'll have to investigate this after work, as i can't play the audio here...but it should merit at least a mention in next week's issue (this week's was just polished off). also, excellent work on billy graham! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:52, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. I should probably quit pretending to be a writer and get back to admin work, but... a guy has to have some fun here.  :) Plus, I've noticed that there's a perception here among a handful of users that old articles aren't up to stuff to the current standards. I guess that's why I felt compelled to polish the dust off Billy G; which is virtually unchanged from what I wrote 2 years ago.  :) --T. (talk) 21:14, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

it's good to see you admins out in the sunshine having some fun! the only old articles that aren't up to standards are some of the old 2005 features that are rather short, random, and quite lacking in the funny department. i'd refer to anything in the area of billy g as 'vintage'. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:11, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey!

Awsome work on the UnSP this week, I'd probably come here every week and say this but I almost never read it. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:56 11 June 2009

and that wins the award for 'backhanded compliment of the week'! thanks orian, it's good to get feedback. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:48, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

you ARE a good writer: Unsignpost, articles... freaking everywhere! /me feels insecure... /me selfnoms fourteen shitty articles   Le Cejak • <14:59 Jun 12, 2009>

insecure? you're the most well-received writer in the history of uncyclopedia, even with your recent six-month buggering off. but maybe that's where your funny comes from...feeling inadequate...looking for approval constantly...in that case, you suck! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:08, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

I get an award, really? I did spend ages making up that joke so yeah. cool. Seriously though, always great work on the UnSingpongst. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:18 12 June 2009

Actually Gerry, I was thinking the same thing. I usually like Unsignpost, but this week's was golden. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:21, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

June 11th, 2009 • Issue 51 • Also available in convenient suppository form!

"Uncyclopedia Worst, Boys Smelly" Declares User By Gerrycheevers In a move that shocked the Uncyclopedia community, female user Kamikazewatermelon09 this week posted a topic in the lovable Pancake House of Benson. The shocking part of the incident was that an actual girl visited Uncyclopedia. Hooray! Our numerous virgin users can now cross off 'make contact with a woman (without giving a credit card number) over the internet, phone, or via smoke signal' from the list of steps towards achieving manhood. Though we can't help you with that face-to-face stuff...we hear that genre of contact is terrifying. The content of the post was too lengthy and riddled with cooties for the male, attention span deficient UnSignpost editors to actually read. Furthermore, the UnSignpost Executive Board refuses to add cootie insurance to the UnSignpost employee health plan. However, resident awesome potatochopper and known girl Sonje was recruited to read the message and react as if she had been asked a clever question by a hypothetical handsome UnSignpost reporter. From her exclusive comments, it seems that the topic poster was disappointed in the vulgarity and immaturity displayed by many of our gentlemen users. "I find the crassness rather endearing," Sonje responded, "in moderation." So, the moral of the story is: the users who really count will forgive us our occasional desire to cuss a blue streak or upload some boob-related images. So...go nuts! Cabal Criticism of the Week By: Gerrycheevers This week, lead Cabalist Mordillo blocked The Wizard Of Oz with an expiry time of Judgement Day, and did not provide a reason for the epic pwning. We here at the UnSignpost would like to call out Mordillo on this lack of explanation. Not as a courtesy to the user, which he certainly did not earn through his insertions of a weird version of a California article into several unseeming places. No, we would like to know why Mordillo did not take advantage of an opportunity that was ripe with comedic potential. Surely this poor soul's username could have resulted in a ban reason referencing shiny red shoes or flying monkeys? A statement concerning the location of the user being a place that is not Kansas? We would have settled for a measly 'looking for a brain' line. But instead, you left us hanging, Mordillo. We'd like to officially call you on it, and we take comfort in knowing that though you can ban the editors, and you can ban our freedom, you can never ban the UnSignpost. Though, on second thought, you could delete it.

Check out these pages! Invisible Forum! Happy Birthday Sonic80! Happy Birthday Woody! Happy Birthday Modusoperandi! FREAKING LIAR! From our logs: 15:19, 7 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.192.116.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(How To: Fuck off for 3 months) 17:49, 7 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.1.87.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(one two fuck you!) 10:00, 8 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.190.33.94 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(comedy website. all football clubs get equal treatment here - ie a merciless slagging. mind you, chelsea really do suck.) Biopic of the Week Of all of the writers enshrined in the Uncyclopedia Hall of Shame, Electrified mocha chinchilla has the highest number of featured articles without having ever been profiled in the UnSignpost. Whoops, not anymore. Anyway, his list of works reads like a what's-what of awesomeness. The entity known as e|m|c also organized and ran several Poo Lit Surprise competitions. Worshipful notes and pie can be sent to his talk page. Retraction of the Week In last week's exceedingly humorous edition of the UnSignpost, we referred to Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435 was requiring all returning users to announce themselves in the forums. This is actually Bylaw #453. We apologize for the mistake, and also from the confusion resulting from the real Bylaw #435, which states that every 94 days a user's dog must be sacrificed to the Rancor. Sorry Led, and get well Fluffy! This Week in Uncyc, 1215 The Magna Carta was signed by King John of England, granting certain rights to serfs, peasants, slaves, farmers, and servants. This was immediately parodied in Ye Olde Signeposte, Uncyclopedia's bi-weekly periodical of the time. It was depicted as a document that forced King John to admit he had the power to tax servants, control every aspect of farmer's lives, and shoot serfs in his Royal Preserves for sport.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I think I'm going crazy. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:41, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Mr. Cheevers, I think I love you

While you were away I made an executive decision concerning the default IC project schedule. Maybe you wanna check the talkpage and weigh in? -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:55, 12 Jun

|<ooL

if it's cool enough for todd l, it's cool enough for me!)

Heh. I actually have some reservations about the almost nazi-ish look of the organization — it's templates, titles, and the like. I've debated removing the userbox from my page every day since it was added (by someone else). But I like the idea of the group, it's different model, and healthy competition with IC. --T. (talk) 21:08, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

for me, it's just another motivation to actually open up the relevant pages and get some writing done. i like both its premise and the IC model, though it's not a competition by and sort of standard. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:00, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost stuff

I asked UU whether he may get a bot (he said he may give it a go), but I figured I might just as well ask you too. From what I hear, it should be pretty easy. I got some information on Sannse's talkpage. The AutoWikiBrowser seems to be the way to go. It has a guide on Wikipedia. And Charitwo made a config file for delivering the UnSignpost. I'd do this myself, but as you might have heard, it won't work on my computer. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:06, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

i will probably take a look at it. i just got a shiny new laptop, so i might be able to get a bot fired up. although it will take me about two weeks to come up with a good name for it. anyway, it will relieve the need for me to worry every week whether you or dex will be able to come through with your weekly dose of being clutch to deliver yon signpost. although, i just thought...MrN is back, hows his bot buddy doing? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:02, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Ah yes. This post was made before he made his flaming return. Still, it might be best to have another bot for when he's not around. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:19, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey Ger...?

Just wondering if you'd like to put your vote behind HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle in the top three of the month. I only ask because you nominated it. Also thanks for the WotM vote! Means an inordinate amount to me that I'm up for that. :) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 03:08 14 June 2009

hey! what's rule #4, you fruity numbered misspelled constellation!? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:03, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Dunno if you noticed, Orian, but there's talk of admins cracking down on whoring, particularly to those who don't actively welcome it. Let this be your warning... --UU - natter 14:06, Jun 15

Can I use ignoance as my defence? Seriously though, I just forgot, sorry. :/ This probably deserves a ban.    Orian57    Talk   14:36 15 June 2009

Thank you Mr. Cheevers...

Thank you ... ... for supporting my recently featured picture. A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed in your honour. - Sonje

--^Dame 18:20, 14 June 2009 (UTC)