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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
41,054 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
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Recent deaths
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Today sucks because...
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December 8: Llamas Against Communism Day (Tibet)
- 1000 BCE - A little Chinese Prince was holidaying in Tibet. Whilst he was innocently trying to feed a local Llama some grain it viciously bit him. And so began countless millenniums of conflict.
- 1231 - The Dalai Llama seduces Chinese king, but after they'd been going steady for a couple of months the Llama cheats on him with Kubla Khan. Chinese king calls the Llama a slut and finds a less attractive rebound girlfriend and cries himself to sleep for a month.
- 1567- The Dalai Llama tells all the other Central Asian leaders that the Chinese King is gay.
- 1911 - Llama tells Sun Yat-sen and Yuan Shikai that the Chinese Emperor said that their mothers were terrible cooks.
- 1931 - Llama mentions to Emperor Hirohito that China is pretty shit and that he might as well go in and take over. Then he whispered quietly in the Emperor's ear that if any Japanese are looking for easy women Nanking is the place.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,054 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Cheddar Cheesia/Emopedia!:
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