User:Cheddar Cheesia/Emopedia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to Emopedia,

The artsy and misunderstood encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but probably won't, since nobody cares.
40,986 heart-rending poems in English

Loneliness · Rejection · Love · Misery · Death · </3

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Message of pain

Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.

It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...


Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.

Did you care...

Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
Fleagorth the awesome.jpg
  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
Fleagorth the awesome.jpg
  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
Fleagorth the awesome.jpg
  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
Fleagorth the awesome.jpg
  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
Fleagorth the awesome.jpg
  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
Fleagorth the awesome.jpg
  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
Fleagorth the awesome.jpg
  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
Fleagorth the awesome.jpg
  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
Post modern 2.jpg
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?

Recent deaths

Iran hits Tel Aviv.jpg

Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID to "protect the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter ParalympicsSaturn Awards

Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert CarradineWarner Bros. bidding war • Neil SedakaAli KhameneiTeam Italy sled hockey

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpWeedDancin' MaduroIranMahmoud Ahmadinejad

Today sucks because...

Whitepeople.jpg

March 9: National "Shit We Forgot to Celebrate Your Birthday" Day (Canada)

  • 400 BC - Noted Greek scholar and intellectual Hypocrites denounces extravagant living from his posh ninety-acre woodland mansion.
  • 1862 - First American Civil War battle between two Ironclad ships ends in draw after the CSS Virginia argues the war was about "economics, not slavery" as if the two topics are separate.
  • 1982 - Time travel party is announced three weeks ago in Baltimore, scientists declare that time travelers don't like Maryland very much.
  • 1994 - Bill Gates announces invention of a method that lets men hold handbags without looking "super gay", men clamor for secret.
  • 1996 - Secret to holding handbag like a man revealed: tie the strap around your balls and swing the handbag around like a flail. Cowardly men invent the extra-large pants pocket instead.

Today's featured artistry

Heart-o-nails.jpg

My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it.

Image Credit: RadicalX
Nominate new image - View all featured images

Newest MySpace friends


More newest friends | Pages that abandoned us | Lovelorn Pages | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Emo Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Poets of the Month

Wotm.jpg

Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).


Noobaward.jpg

The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.


Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!


Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,986 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Gen Alpha!:
United States
Uncyclopedia
English
United States
40,986
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

Protected by the life-is-unfair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Goths.