Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?

- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?

- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?

- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?

- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?

- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?

- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?

- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?

- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
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Recent deaths
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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Today sucks because...
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!
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