Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?

- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?

- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?

- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?

- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?

- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?

- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?

- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?

- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that this sentence is incomple
- ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
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Recent deaths
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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Today sucks because...
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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