User:Cheddar Cheesia/Emopedia

Emopedia

Welcome to Emopedia, The artsy and misunderstood encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but probably won't, since nobody cares. 41,140 heart-rending poems in English

Pain Rejection Depression

Sadness Misery Gloom

Conformists Futility All

Today's Message of pain Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude. It is the feeling that no one loves me. Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst. No one understands me. No one loves me. My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying. God, I hate them so much; the fakes. The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care All live in my iPod... Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right? I'm not. Not since she left me. I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am, or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair. It was the best three days of my life, though, with her. She was so much better than the girl last week. I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie. They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul. They are tempting me. Did you care... *... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?	Recent deaths Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas. Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday (Pictured) Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 3 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Bills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker • Nanny state officials breaching people's right to privacy via enforcing social media bans and digital ID on their respective countries under the pretext of "think of the children!" Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Pittsburgh Steelers' season • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Stranger Things Today sucks because... January 1: Break Half Your New Year's Resolutions Day 65M BC - For his new year's resolution, God promises to stop throwing giant meteors at Earth when upset. 1661 - Philip IV of Spain hopes his son will make him proud. 1812 - Napoleon Bonaparte vows not to start a land war in Asia. 1989 - Renowned ornithologist Arthur B. Magpie promises to stop fucking bird cloacas. 1994 - Ted Kaczynski says to himself, "This is my last letter bomb." 2012 - Whitney Houston promises to stop hoovering lines of cocaine like a roomba. 2026 - You hope that this year will be a good one, that you'll sort your life out for the better. Ha.
Today's featured artistry My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it. Image Credit: RadicalX Nominate new image - View all featured images
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Poets of the Month Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes. Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes). The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries. Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year! Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers

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