Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
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Recent deaths
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Boxer shorts, like a real man. And Bruce Lee black pants.
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Today sucks because...
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July 17: Dog Days Begin (Summer), Professional Copiousness Day (Uncyclopedia)
- 800 – With the Roman empire in shambles, the Dark Ages begin, ushering in a time of mysterious axe wounds and serfdom.
- 1717 – The Blackbeard Catering Company (pictured) is founded, offering full foodservice and a variety of bar items including rum and grog, all at competitive rates.
- 1934 – Faced with demands to clean up its act, Hollywood introduced the Hays Code, which set guidelines for things such as the use of negroes in film.
- 1948 – The U.S. Presidential ticket of Strom Thurmond and his New Hampshire Merchant Cat, Stripey, garnered over one million votes in the general election.
- 1955 – Disneyland establishes its independence from Pixar.
- 1995 – The Snopes website comes online, and the truth and validity of countless rumors and urban legends, such as the safety and sexuality of children's toys and children's icons, respectively, are quashed.
- 1981 – Absolutely nothing of any consequence happens.
- 2005 – Misquoting Jesus, a book by Bart Ehrman, is published. Within a few short weeks it becomes the center of a firestorm of controversy, most of it defending Jesus' accomplishments as described in the Bible, among them "champion surfer" and "speedboat owner".
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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