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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
40,685 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
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Recent deaths
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Today sucks because...
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September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day (International), Talk Regularly Day (Somalia)
- 1778 – The Continental Congress passes the first budget of the United States, budgeting 10,000 doubloons for defense, 5000 pieces of eight for social programs, and additional booty to highways.
- 1796 – George Washington makes his farewell address, saying "Aye me mateys, it were good being captain of this fine ship of state."
- 1957 – First U.S. underground nuclear bomb test is conducted, shivering timbers as far as 500 miles away.
- 1970 – Pirates the world over rejoice at Oldsmobile's launch of the Cutlass Supreme.
- 1985 – First pirated movie released. It is rated ARRRRRRRRRRR!
- 1995 – First Talk Like a Pirate Day. It rapidly replaces the unpopular Talk Like a Ninja Day, which involved people saying nothing so as to conceal their presence.
- 1997 - Mike Tyson ruthlessly made fun of after doing a pirate impression. Three ears are added to his collection.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,685 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Cheddar Cheesia/Emopedia!:
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