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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
40,531 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
- ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
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Recent deaths
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Trump pictured holding up his project in front of his friends. They're all delighted.
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Today sucks because...
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August 19: Battle of Knockdoe Day
- 1501 - The de Burghs and Fitzgeralds agree to have a glorious battle in Knockdoe next year.
- 1502 - Ulick Burke too hung over to remember what day it is; Gerald Fitzgerald "super pissed" that he didn't show up.
- 1503 - Gerald Fitzgerald too hung over to attend the battle; Ulick Burke calls him a damn hypocrite.
- 1504 - The Battle of Knockdoe: a bunch of Normans and Irish chop each other to pieces, probably forever altering English history or something.
- 1919 - Afghanistan gains independence from the U.K., bringing an end to the 2nd Battle of Knockdoe.
- 1952 - Jonathan Frakes, actor who portrayed William Riker, born in order to commemorate the 448th anniversary of the Battle of Knockdoe.
- 1991 - Collapse of the Soviet Union: Mikhail Gorbachev placed under house arrest while watching docudrama about the Battle of Knockdoe.
- 2005 - Lonely tourist kisses the Blarney Stone, ends up in extended makeout session.
- 2010 - The parish of Lackagh, former site of the Battle of Knockdoe, found to be infested with stinking drunken Irishmen.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,531 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Cheddar Cheesia/Emopedia!:
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