Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
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Recent deaths
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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Today sucks because...
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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