From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
41,021 heart-rending poems in English
|
|
|
|
|
Today's Message of pain
|
Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
|
Did you care...
|
*... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
|
|
Recent deaths
|
|
|
Today sucks because...
|
November 25: Feel Vague Anxiety Whilst Examining A Tattoo You Got On A Drunken Impulse Day
- 1622 - The toasted sandwich is invented in a joint venture by the Earl of Sandwich and the Duke of Toast.
- 1901 - Ernst Schrödinger, inventor of the Uncertainty Principle, was born on this day. Or was he?
- 1997 - Princess Diana dies in car crash after driver is distracted by the 'I love Charlie' on her right buttock.
- 2006 - Europeans give thanks for the farsighted move of kicking Ayn Rand off their continent.
- 2006 - Rush Limbaugh suffers great embarrassment after an assistant leaks information about his secret tattoo depicting two men engaging in immoral acts.
|
|
Today's featured artistry
|
|
|
|
|
|
Poets of the Month
|
|
Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
|
|
The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
|
Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!
|
|
| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,021 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Cheddar Cheesia/Emopedia!:
|
Protected by the life-is-unfair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Goths.
