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the Eurasia Eastasia-free country that NO ONE EVAR tampers with, all that is said is true and final! Long live Big Brother!
40,444 Goldstein sympathizers executed
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Did you know...
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*... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
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In the news
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"It's for the children's own good!"
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On this day...
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August 2: Intentionally Give A Stranger Misleading Directions Day
- 456 - Maurading Mongol hoardes are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe.
- 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggested that the stranger seek directions from his own mother.
- 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be" the series of events that followed causes the stock mareket crash and the great depression.
- 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia.
- 1939 - Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow invaded by accident.
- 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between men and woman drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels.
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Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,444 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Argo v8.2/1984 Front Page!:
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