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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

When-i-grow-up.jpg
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
  • ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
  • ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
  • ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
  • ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?
Adrian Bors.jpg
  • ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
  • ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
When-i-grow-up.jpg
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
  • ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
  • ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
  • ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
  • ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?
Adrian Bors.jpg
  • ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
  • ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
When-i-grow-up.jpg
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
  • ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
  • ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
  • ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
  • ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?
Adrian Bors.jpg
  • ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
  • ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
When-i-grow-up.jpg
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
  • ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
  • ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
  • ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
  • ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?

In the news

US-Canada hockey brawl.jpg
"USA! USA!"

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWinter Olympicsr/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over

Recent deaths: Brad ArnoldNFL season • Lindsay Vonn's legSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert DuvallKurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse JacksonYouTubeTom NoonanMcSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about

On this day...

Justice for Han

February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day

Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

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Chairman Meow

Image credit: Socky
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles

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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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