User:Argo v8.2/1984 Front Page

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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

*... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
  • ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
  • ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
  • ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?

In the news

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SIX SEVEN!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas CowboysThe Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • the New England Patriots suddenly being good again

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy Cliff

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they might actually miss the playoffs • Weed

On this day...

Part of the ongoing War on Abstinence

November 26: Abstinence Rejection Day

  • 1800 - Chastity belts effectiveness called into question when inquisitive mind finds 'back way'.
  • 1818 - The Republic of Bulimia declares its independence from Spain, rejecting abstinence in favour of a Binge and Purge policy.
  • 1971 - Devout Christian Jim Morrison dies a virgin.
  • 2005 - Avowed abstinence practitioner Britney Spears gives birth through immaculate conception.
  • 2009 - Chastity belts are outlawed and replaced with Chastity lasers.
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
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Today's featured picture

Professional Potato Sack Racing
After tiring of bourgeois racing events such as MotoGP and Formula One, Valentino Rossi enters the competitive world of Potato Sack Racing

Image credit: Sonje
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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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