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the ~~Eurasia~~ Eastasia-free country that NO ONE EVAR tampers with, all that is said is true and final! Long live Big Brother!

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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)

... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured)

... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
... that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that.
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?

... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)

... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured)

... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
... that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that.
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?

... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)

... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured)

... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
... that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that.
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?

... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)

... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico UnNews – Radio Free Lunch**
On this day...
February 24: "I don't care what day it is" Day 1803 - In Marbury v Madison, two men named Mr. Marbury and Mr. Madison fight each other with canes, and the Supreme Court decides who wins. 1863 - People on their way to California collapse from heat while traveling across the desert, and rather than dying with humanity, they found Arizona. 1920 - God decides today is a good day to create Nazis, a few select Germans suddenly feel an unusual aversion to international Jewry. 1942 - Aliens attack the city of Los Angeles! (Pictured) They're confused for Japanese soldiers due to racism. 1978 - Five men disappear after attending a college basketball game in California. The bodies of four of them were actually clones of the same person. 2007 - Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe launches a spy satellite to perv on Kim Jong-un's sister, Kim Yo-jong. 2008 - Fidel Castro retires, spends the rest of his days smoking cigars and laughing at assassination attempts. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
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Recent Articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,062 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Gen Alpha!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 41,062	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.