User:Argo v8.2/1984 Front Page

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Did you know...

*... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.

In the news

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Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 3 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirementBills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker

Recent deaths: Doug DimmadomeZed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob ReinerBowen Yang's tenure on SNLPatrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • Pittsburgh Steelers' season • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCardDick van Dyke, eventually • 2025Stranger Things

On this day...

Cowards

December 31: Fuck, What Did I Do This Whole Fucking Year? Day

  • 2000 BC - The Ancient Sumerians are the first to observe the New Year as a way to celebrate their slowly impending deaths.
  • 1788 - The Scottish convince the world they need to sing at New Year's Eve at midnight, write a song whose lyrics are completely unpronounceable.
  • 1900 - The first glowing ball thing that drop when the year ends is invented, initially as a terrorist plot by Irish extremists.
  • 2010 - Manufacturers of those novelty glasses shaped like the number of the year start to worry.
  • 2017 - Novelty glasses makers give up and just make normal glasses with the years put on top like a bunch of fucking cowards.
  • 2025 - You think to yourself: next year's gonna be the year I get my shit together, I'm gonna lose 10 pounds, quit drinking, start opening up to people...
  • 2026 - It's a year later, and yet another year has come and gone with nothing to show for it. Maybe next year...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
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Today's featured picture

Chill The Fuck Out
Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.

Image credit: RadicalX
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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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