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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

... that 45% of Japan's electrical and nuclear power is produced by manual labor? (Pictured)

... that Uranus is a gas giant?
... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?

... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude?

... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians?
... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
... that I'm better than this person in particular?
... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?

... that 45% of Japan's electrical and nuclear power is produced by manual labor? (Pictured)

... that Uranus is a gas giant?
... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?

... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude?

... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians?
... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
... that I'm better than this person in particular?
... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?

... that 45% of Japan's electrical and nuclear power is produced by manual labor? (Pictured)

... that Uranus is a gas giant?
... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?

... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude?

... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians?
... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
... that I'm better than this person in particular?
... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?

... that 45% of Japan's electrical and nuclear power is produced by manual labor? (Pictured)

... that Uranus is a gas giant?
... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed Recent deaths: Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? • Chuck Norris doesn't fuckin' die, the world died to him Upcoming deaths: Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Every Cesar Chavez Street's name UnNews – Radio Free Lunch**
On this day...
March 21: Vernal Equinox... Probably 5 AD - The first recorded instance of the question "What Would Jesus Do?" occurs when his mother asks what he wants for breakfast. 1890 - Oscar Wilde pens his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray in the vicinity of one of his favorite sources of inspiration, a kitchen sink. 1919 - The Treaty of Versailles is dictated to several secretaries, ending World War I. One of them is a German spy and covertly adds a clause mandating a sequel. 1931 - The electric guitar is introduced, resulting in the genre of Rock 'n Roll being born and enjoying its peak during the Great Depression. 1943 - In the last recorded mounted cavalry charge, soldiers on horseback from Austria-Hungary charge a battalion of Russian tanks and succeed in destroying 80% of them using only their broadswords and ceremonial poofy hats. 1993 - The first video is uploaded on the internet: a skin flute performance. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Figuring he would at last turn around his luck, Wild Jim drew the fabled dead man's hand.

Image credit: Sonje
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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