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Today's featured article

Extension:DynamicPageList3 (DPL3), version 3.5.2: Error: No selection criteria found! You must use at least one of the following parameters: category, namespace, titlematch, linksto, uses, createdby, modifiedby, lastmodifiedby, or their 'not' variants

Did you know...

... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)

... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?

... that in another time and place Rod Serling existed as a discarded cardboard cutout on the set of the Twilight Zone? (Pictured)

... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)

... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?

... that in another time and place Rod Serling existed as a discarded cardboard cutout on the set of the Twilight Zone? (Pictured)

... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)

... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?

... that in another time and place Rod Serling existed as a discarded cardboard cutout on the set of the Twilight Zone? (Pictured)

... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)

... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
"Come! Come support my tacky AI website!" Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (Pictured; this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths*: Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy* (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
February 20: Hot Garbage Day 1792 - The Postal Service is first established, celebration ceremony is accidentally rerouted to San Francisco, Spanish California. 1872 - After some harsh wind, the Metropolitan Museum of Art opens its first exhibit, a giant pile of toppled over ceiling scaffolding. 1877 - Russian ballet Swan Lake is received poorly by critics after show swans descend into the audience and peck their eyes out. 1935 - The first woman to set foot in Antarctica wonders what all the fuss was about. 1986 - The Soviet Union launches the space station Mir, cosmonauts test whether communism can work in outer space. 2016 - A man in Schenectady, New York is the first person to describe someone's opinion as "hot garbage" (Pictured), is given medal for ruining English. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

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The Microsoft Word Processor is good for the office and the kitchen! It can be yours for just 3 easy payments of $39.99!

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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