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Today's featured article Extension:DynamicPageList3 (DPL3), version 3.5.2: Error: No selection criteria found! You must use at least one of the following parameters: category, namespace, titlematch, linksto, uses, createdby, modifiedby, lastmodifiedby, or their 'not' variants Did you know... *... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?

In the news "...at least panda meat doesn't give you autism!" ‑RFK Jr. Kid (and ball) escape narrow car crash Robert F. Kennedy Jr. engulfs every panda bear in existence (Pictured) Kardashian and Ye do washed up things We have road copters Mummy Pig's pregnancy sparks paternity drama Heinz Doofenshmirtz finally takes full control over the Tri-State Area UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg Cinema ceiling makes dramatic entrance during Captain America screening UnSports update for February! USA and Canada take their trade war to the ice hockey rink. Literally. Philadelphia Eagles ruin Super Bowl "3-peat" dreams for Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift And more! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Hollow Knight: Silksong, and Deltarune Chapter 3 • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • DOGE firings and budget cuts • Myanmar earthquake • Tornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors • Disney fans re-watching the original Snow White to forget the remake Recent deaths: Skype • Kingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensions • Space Ghost • Tesla's stock • Bob Rivers • Meghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe • Snow Broke and the 9-figure loss for Disney • Bruce Glover • Richard Chamberlain • Roger Daltrey's eyesight and hearing • Val Kilmer Upcoming deaths: Luigi Mangione • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse • Pope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • Your March Madness bracket and bank account • Tornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie On this day... April 3: Vivaldi Appreciation Day 1220 - Rampaging crusaders drive a trebuchet through the walls of two towers in Ancient Syria. 1666 - Sir Marquis Baron Vivaldi walks to the crossroad and sells his soul to Satan 1888 - Vivaldi composes new record "A Change of Four Seasons", inspired by regressive metal band Dream Theater. 1945 - Scientists discover that if you play John Cage's 4'33" backward you'll hear someone cough, but backwards. 1974 - Tornadoes sweep the U.S.A, inspiring the invention of the tumble drier. 1986 - D.J. murder rate at all-time high, blamed on the provocative lyrics of The Smiths. 1996 - Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, is arrested for crimes against tasteful nomenclature, and killing like six people. Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

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Children's books as they should be, without sugar-coating. Image credit: Bonjo Nelson View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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