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Did you know...

... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)

... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?

... that Cafeteria food (Pictured) is not generally edible?

... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that Uranus is a gas giant?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?

... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)

... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?

... that Cafeteria food (Pictured) is not generally edible?

... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that Uranus is a gas giant?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?

... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)

... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?

... that Cafeteria food (Pictured) is not generally edible?

... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that Uranus is a gas giant?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?

... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)

... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports Recent deaths: That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora UnNews – Radio Free Lunch**
On this day...
March 26: Fast Food Day (U.S.) 1845 - Fast food, then called fasting from food, is invented in Ireland: millions starve due to new trend. 1940 - First McDonald's restaurant opens in San Bernardino, California, life expectancy drops to levels unseen since the Civil War. 1965 - Fox in Socks, the first depiction of a modern-day rap battle, is published by Dr. Seuss. 1994 - After complaints from vegans, McDonald's switches from beef fat to vegetable oil for their fries, vegans celebrate, give money to company that kills millions of cows. 1997 - Someone orders an iced coffee from Starbucks, destroys the economies of three South American countries. 2011 - McDonald's attempts to make Happy Meals healthier, billions of apple slices rot inside their teeny plastic bags. 2016 - New FCC regulations on misleading advertising forces Carl's Jr. to release new 30 second ad of a fat man crying, alone. 2018 - Wendy's delivers epic clapback against dumb bitch on twitter with sesame seed allergy. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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