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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)

... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)

... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?

... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)

... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)

... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?

... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)

... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)

... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?

... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)

... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
"Come! Come support my tacky AI website!" Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (Pictured; this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths*: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough* Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
February 19: Alt + F4 Day 1600 - A volcano explodes in Peru. It's a good first line for a limerick, I guess. 1807 - Aaron Burr, former Vice President and guy who shot Alexander Hamilton, is imprisoned for treason; Burr is released following a quadruple rhyming triplet and an emotionally resonant leitmotif allusion. 1846 - The State Government of Texas is officially established in Austin, its first act: Mexican food sold within the state must include at least 200% recommended cheese intake. 1915 - World War I: The first attack on the Ottomans commences as the Australians attack the shoreline with drop bear reinforcements. 1949 - Ezra Pound decides that poetry is the perfect medium for his antisemitism, mostly because Jew can be rhymed with so many other words. 1954 - The Soviet Union transfers Crimea from Russian land to Ukraine, which will cause absolutely no problems in future. 1985 - EastEnders stars airing in the UK, causing more Brits to be visibly depressed. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

This film is brought to you by The Number Eight: The number of muppets it takes to save one.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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