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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

... that your daughter wants to be just like her mommy? (Pictured)

... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?

... that Lost Labyrinth is a cannibal? (Pictured)

... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?

... that your daughter wants to be just like her mommy? (Pictured)

... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?

... that Lost Labyrinth is a cannibal? (Pictured)

... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?

... that your daughter wants to be just like her mommy? (Pictured)

... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?

... that Lost Labyrinth is a cannibal? (Pictured)

... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?

... that your daughter wants to be just like her mommy? (Pictured)

... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
"USA! USA!" Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths*: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy* (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day 1455 - The Gutenberg Bible is first printed, God brags that he is now a published author. 1923 - Werner Heisenberg plans to describe the uncertainty principle to his peers, but is unsure if they'll like it or not. 1941 - Scientists first create Plutonium, but instead of getting cool superpowers they just get cancer and die. 1947 - The International Organization for Standardization is founded to make Americans feel insecure about the customary system. 1999 - Kurdish leader Abdullah Öcalan is sentenced to death by Turkey due to mustache jealousy. 2015 - Vin Diesel (Pictured) says the word family so many times it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

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Chairman Meow

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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