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Did you know...

... that Gypsies are stealing your carrots right now? (Pictured)

... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?

... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)

... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?

... that Gypsies are stealing your carrots right now? (Pictured)

... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?

... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)

... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?

... that Gypsies are stealing your carrots right now? (Pictured)

... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?

... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)

... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?

... that Gypsies are stealing your carrots right now? (Pictured)

... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
1977-2026 US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: ~~Uncyclopedia~~ • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek** (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
February 17: Sheeranist New Year (United Kingdom) 1991 - Famed British musician Ed Sheeran is born. Brits rejoice that their Messiah is finally with them. 1996 - Gary Kasparov loses a game of chess to a computer, like that's never happened to anyone before. 2008 - USA bombs some country after the military finds a few extra bombs hiding in an old pair of pants. 2017 - Denmark is officially recognized as a mistake and erased from history. 2026 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

In order to quell the ongoing strife in the Mideast, the Canadian government has elected to send their elite peacekeeping forces into Afghanistan, Iraq and Mos Eisley.

Image credit: NewMess1ah
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,062 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Klingon!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 41,062	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.