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the ~~Eurasia~~ Eastasia-free country that NO ONE EVAR tampers with, all that is said is true and final! Long live Big Brother!

40,985 Goldstein sympathizers executed

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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
... that sheep shrink when it rains?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay?

... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
... that the butler did it?
... that my mom's name is also Martha?
... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
... that sheep shrink when it rains?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay?

... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
... that the butler did it?
... that my mom's name is also Martha?
... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
... that sheep shrink when it rains?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay?

... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
... that the butler did it?
... that my mom's name is also Martha?
... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
... that sheep shrink when it rains?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • M-m-m-Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other Iranian leaders Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (according to Wikipedia) • Avicii (according to Wikipedia) Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico • Smiling Friends UnNews – Radio Free Lunch**
On this day...
March 3: Beat Strangers to Death With a Lead Pipe Day 1800's - The inventor of modern pizza gets brutally hit with a comically large rock, it was not a welcoming "per favore". 1938 - Oil is discovered in Saudi Arabia, camel herders use it as a garnish for their camel steaks. 1972 - Jethro Tull releases an album based on what they consider "the most epic poem they've ever read in their life". 1991 - An amateur video captures Rodney King rudely getting in the way of an LAPD officer's jackbooted foot. 1992 - The practice of beating strangers to death with lead pipes (Pictured) first emerges in Post-Soviet Belarus. 2007 - A misplaced comma found in the 1st edition of Infinite Jest haunts David Foster Wallace for the rest of his days. 2017 - Nintendo releases the Nintendo Switch, a device used to preoccupy your little brothers while you wash the pots and pans. 2018 - The UN bans the practice of beating strangers to death with lead pipes, due to concerns about lead poisioning, and advises everyone to instead follow David Harbour's instructions for dealing with strangers. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Darth Vader was the only spawn of Qui-Gon-Jinn, a legendary intergalactic televangelist who made millions on the planet Naboo curing toasters of inflammation. During his reign as King of Iceland, Darth Vader often took time off to endorse a variety of things, including the Segway.

Image credit: RadicalX
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,985 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including German!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 40,985	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.