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the Eurasia Eastasia-free country that NO ONE EVAR tampers with, all that is said is true and final! Long live Big Brother!
41,060 Goldstein sympathizers executed

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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

Knightsu.jpg
  • ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
  • ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
  • ... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
  • ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
Captainautofellatiocover.png
  • ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
  • ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
  • ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
  • ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
Knightsu.jpg
  • ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
  • ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
  • ... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
  • ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
Captainautofellatiocover.png
  • ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
  • ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
  • ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
  • ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
Knightsu.jpg
  • ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
  • ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
  • ... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
  • ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
Captainautofellatiocover.png
  • ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
  • ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
  • ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
  • ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
Knightsu.jpg
  • ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
  • ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
  • ... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
  • ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?

In the news

Jack-Hughes-bloody-smile.jpg
He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Filesr/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life

Recent deaths: Brad ArnoldNFL season • Winter OlympicsSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert DuvallKurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse JacksonYouTubeTom NoonanEric DaneMelania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy and snow handling capability • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' MaduroIran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to rememberMexico

On this day...

Justice for Han

February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day

Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Pen Island
Aerial photo of Pen Island, named after Penelope "Pen" Isbig.

Image credit: Zana Dark
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles

More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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