User:Argo v8.2/1984 Front Page

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Welcome to Oceania,
the Eurasia Eastasia-free country that NO ONE EVAR tampers with, all that is said is true and final! Long live Big Brother!
40,975 Goldstein sympathizers executed

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Walk around Airstrip One · Top bellyfeelers · A–Z index

Today's featured article

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Did you know...

Blackprince11.jpg
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
  • ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
Santa plane.jpg
  • ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
  • ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
  • ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
Blackprince11.jpg
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
  • ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
Santa plane.jpg
  • ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
  • ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
  • ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
Blackprince11.jpg
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
  • ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
Santa plane.jpg
  • ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
  • ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
  • ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
Blackprince11.jpg
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
  • ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?

In the news

Norris4.jpg

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn AwardsChucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • BuffyXander HarrisRobert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: IranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora

On this day...

Ah shit where'd I put that screwdriver?

March 24: International Do-It-Yourself Day

  • 1857 - Oscar Wilde pens his story The Soul of Man under Socialism while under something else.
  • 1943 - Jackson Pollock unveils his long-awaited third exhibition, featuring the classic Angsty Orange Tiger.
  • 1964 - The ping pong incident occurs at my high school, and will torment me for over forty years until my son avenges me.
  • 1991 - The first child is admitted to the hospital for Phonics addiction in the beginning of a nation-wide pandemic, resulting in thousands of kids becoming 'hooked'.
  • 1994 - Kitty porn makes its first appearance on the primitive internet.
  • 2007 - The first human trials of Neuroipods suffer drawbacks when a vast majority of test subjects contract iEllepsy.
  • 2010 - Sarah Palin kicks off the first annual Alaskan Sasquatch Appreciation Day.
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Insert image title here, without link
The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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