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the ~~Eurasia~~ Eastasia-free country that NO ONE EVAR tampers with, all that is said is true and final! Long live Big Brother!

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Today's featured article

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Did you know...

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?

... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting?

... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?

... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting?

... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?

... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting?

... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico UnNews – Radio Free Lunch**
On this day...
February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day 1455 - The Gutenberg Bible is first printed, God brags that he is now a published author. 1923 - Werner Heisenberg plans to describe the uncertainty principle to his peers, but is unsure if they'll like it or not. 1941 - Scientists first create Plutonium, but instead of getting cool superpowers they just get cancer and die. 1947 - The International Organization for Standardization is founded to make Americans feel insecure about the customary system. 1999 - Kurdish leader Abdullah Öcalan is sentenced to death by Turkey due to mustache jealousy. 2015 - Vin Diesel (Pictured) says the word family so many times it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Aerial photo of Pen Island, named after Penelope "Pen" Isbig.

Image credit: Zana Dark
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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