User talk:Frosty/archive5

Happy Halloween!

-- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 1 November 2011, at 01:32

Whats this "Halloween" you speak of? -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 21:16, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Love dem loopholes

	Reviewer of the Month October 2011

-- KittyKitty (t) (c) 05:51, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Gee thanks mister! -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 21:16, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Gobshite!

	Useless Gobshite of the Month October 2011

-- KittyKitty (t) (c) 06:03, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Gee thanks mister! -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 21:16, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

WotM

You Voted for Me for Writer of the Month! Good job!

Thank you very, very much. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:26, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Gee thanks mister! -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 21:16, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Another generic template

	Snowman of the month October 2011

-- KittyKitty (t) (c) 21:15, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Gee thanks mister! -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 21:16, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

RotM

Hey, man. I noticed that you just got your second Reviewer of the Month award. Which is fantastic, and congratulations, and everything, except...you got a score of +1, struck a convenient vote, and the month's voting pretty much appeared to be a joke seeing as it was incredibly unactive. More importantly though, and I stress that I really don't pay attention to or care about awards at all, but I'm pretty sure that admins are supposed to archive the voting pages. Although I might be wrong. I don't know. But apparently this has happened before too. So I'm not sure what to do. Care to make a suggestion? -RAHB 05:11, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Your nomination by myself was a joke, since.... come on you know! I didn't expect at all you would award it to yourself! Let's get back to having fun! Mattsnow 05:14, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I was tempted to just revoke it outright once I saw the changes in my watchlist. Apparently Black Flamingo won his award with a score of -1, though, so stranger things have happened. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:44, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Well...that certainly is a feat. -RAHB 05:45, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Keep. Wait. Am I on the wrong page again?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Nov 2 '11 6:12 (UTC)

I thought it was a joke all along, you nommed me for it and it was very rightfully stopped, so I nommed you in order to "piss off" and "destroy" whatever reason admins would come up with! Just to see what would happen, in a camaradery way. I just knew it would necessitate another "stop". It was a joke aimed at the admins, since we were in the exact same situation! I hope you understand. I was waiting for the joke ban! Mattsnow 06:28, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

It's all fun and games until someone accidentally wins RotM. Then the killing starts. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 06:34, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Just like playing with a gun that blows your skull off! Mattsnow 06:35, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Minus the blown off skull, of course. -RAHB 06:43, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

I guess we can conclude your subtle attempt to win a second one didn't work out... As of yet!!! Mattsnow 06:46, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

The self awarding was also some what a joke to a degree, so if I don't win just scrap it. I don't care. And as for the arachival I've done itfor months, because people ask me to do it, because they are lazy I guess. -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 07:58, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Admit you know I tried to stir a funny shitstorm when nomming you :P Mattsnow 08:23, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

YOU DID THIS! -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 08:25, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Should have guessed. Keep archiving it then. I'm too lazy to do it too. -RAHB 19:06, November 2, 2011 (UTC)

Who did? 1234 ~ 21:08, 2 November 2011

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The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

November 3rd, 2011 • Issue 143 • Forseeing all sorts of unforeseen problems since 2008!

Fundraising By Chief Money, dosh, moolah, cash. It's the time of year when Wikipedia pastes a gigantic banner to the top of all of their pages hosting a link to an inspirational article penned by Wikia-Oberstgruppenführer Jimbo Wales (not to be confused with Uncyclopedian JimboTheKillerWhale). The text of this article usually runs along these lines: "Isn't Wikipedia wonderful? Yes it is. Now if you donate the small sum of £300 we can keep it looking nice and won't have to send it back to its parents in tiny pieces". This is an absolute disgrace. It's like they're holding Wikipedia to ransom; if I wanted to pay for information I'd move to Nazi Germany, assuming I had a time machine, obviously. How does this affect us here on our own benighted wiki? Well, the logged-in among you may well have paused to examine the banner that has been pasted all over the site notice this past week, at least you will have done before you hid it and carried on with whatever it is you people do all day. Predictably Lyrithya, never one to be swayed by the crippling apathy of the Uncyclopedia userbase, has suggested that we all try and create our own banners. Evidently she isn't swayed by the crippling ineptitude of the Uncyclopedia userbase either. Now we'll be brutally honest, the UnSignpost doesn't have a template critic and the current editorial staff aren't really sure how the UnSignpost itself works; we just fill in the boxes. However, as seasoned UnSignpost readers are no doubt aware, ignorance never stands in the way of good journalism, so having affixed berets to our monitors and incredibly condescending and disgusted looks to our faces, we decided to examine the submissions so far. First up is this one, which was made by Magic man in 2010, which brings a certain authority to the piece... we assume. However we simply cannot countenance the font, which makes it look like it was written by a spider on rollerskates. Go back and try again, Magic man, and get a haircut as well. The next choice offering came from the pen of EpicAwesomeness, and here it is. We sat down with EpicAwesomeness so he could talk us through the allegorical significance of the piece: "Well, you know, it has Wikipedia in it, you know, because I was just like trying to capture the fact Wikipedia is in it, you know?" he droned at our slack-jawed reporter. "There's, you know, some italics to prove I'm, like, sophisticated, and some blood to show I'm deep, it's my blood, I like to be in all my work. The background is a mix of my-" Alas, the recording of the interview ends there to the sound of gagging and retching, so we can only imagine what the background of EpicAwesomeness's banner is a mix of. Lollipop's offering is this interesting piece which expresses his desire to sodomise dogs. On an unrelated note the UnSignpost dog will not be appearing in this issue. The only other offering has come from an IP. We here at the UnSignpost are united in our delight at its subtlety and in raptures at its wit and elegance. Just kidding; the pictures are wrong, the text is wrong and I've never seen a template name so flawed. For your chance to critique the honest endeavours of other Uncyclopedians, visit the forum here. Or don't; visit the official page instead and remain untainted. Awards By Him yet again The forums have once again become the stage for what looks set to become one of the more exciting votes of the year. Thekillerfroggy has suggested that awards are becoming devalued when they are being handed out after voting from only one or two people. Naturally the solution is a quota of some sort, that or we drag the unused awards out to the square and beat them to death as an example to the others. This obviously comes as something of a blow to our plans to introduce an UnSignpost Editor of the Month award, which we wouldn't announce to anyone and would award to the most deserving amongst us every week until Judgement Day. The vote appears to be getting some support, indeed the forum has gotten more votes in two days (8 at time of going to press) than Playwright of the Month has managed to accrue so far this year (5 at the time of going to press). This leads us to suggest that instead of implementing its recommendations we simply create a new award, Policy Changing Forum of the Month, since as Thekillerfroggy so eloquently suggests "If you build it they will come". And so they will, TKF, assuming of course that you're building some kind of wank machine. The forum link is hanging about in the "Check out these pages" section, cleverly masquerading as a link. If you can't find your way to the correct forum with these instructions then we don't think you deserve to have a say. You big stupid-head.

Check out these pages! Useless Awards Botting What's INS? Because the UnSignpost needs more me From our logs: 00:14, October 29, 2011 Haydrahlienne (Talk | contribs) blocked A filthy jew (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite 04:03, October 29, 2011 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked SPREE SPREE SPREE SPREE (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Sorry, old chap... but you're proving quite the caterpillar in our buttermilk) 23:03, October 29, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS is a filthy jew (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (He's also a fantastic swimmer, and if you play your cards right then he just might coooome round for dinner!) 00:05, November 2, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 144.124.29.68 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (your resemblance to tom jones does not intrigue me) 10:20, November 1, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Jizz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You're disgusting.) 19:37, November 1, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 38.100.105.130 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 weeks ‎ (Somebody needs a nap and some juice) Biopic of the Week Now we here at the UnSignpost don't often do requests; if we did, the editorial staff would have had to commit seppuku on no less than four occasions or would presently be suffering a lifetime of slavery on Cuban sugar plantations. However this week we will be addressing a complex and dynamic issue at the behest of Sycamore and Orian57. Namely, why aren't they in the UnSignpost more often and could we maybe consider putting them in the UnSignpost more often? For the few of you who are unfamiliar with Sycamore he's the most newsworthy Uncyclopedian around. At least, that's what he told us. He's even more newsworthy than that guy over there, who seems to make it into the UnSignpost just about every other week. His past successes include being fae bonnie Scotland, being the writer of several featured articles and the adopter of several noobs. He hasn't been in the UnSignpost because he has been editing a little bit less and because when he is around he has generally been getting on with writing, voting and reverting, all things which will never get you into the UnSignpost. Ever. Orian57 hasn't been in the UnSignpost because he's gay. He did have features on three consecutive days once, but that was so long ago all this was just fields. Words This edition of the UnSignpost has an awful lot of them. Well done us. Also, bone is not a dirty word. Newsroom UnTune of the week Congressman in Drag Confessions from Recent Changes "This page was shit and I should feel like shit" - HELPME "Facepalm" - Lollipop "Calendars are a wonderful thing, aren't they?" - Oliphaunte

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:51, 3 November 2011

Thank you for your vote on the Foolizter Prize

You now have a burning urge to send Bizzeebeever all of your money, a tasteful 8"x10" glossy nude print of yourself, and the keys to your apartment.
 ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Nov 4 '11 23:22 (UTC)

Pass the gravy boat and the green piped potatoes, would you , Love?

Thank you for your vote on Fanny Cradock! Hugs! Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:27, November 4, 2011 (UTC)

yay? -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 23:33, November 4, 2011 (UTC)

Ban patrol

Hey, man... if you add a user to ban patrol, you don't need to put all the things they've created on qvfd as well - the admins check their contributions and will find them, especially if you make note of how they created a lot of pages that would need deleting. Hopefully this'll save you some trouble in the future.

On an unrelated note, you do realise that last thing was probably just messing with you, right? Becoming visibly frustrated over it, regardless of how frustrating it may be, is only likely to encourage those sorts. That's what makes MadMax so great. He's like a robot, and then he just smashes things. Mmmm, smashy... robots are fun. 1234 ~ 15:41, 5 November 2011

k, where was everybody when that happened >_< -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 21:38, November 5, 2011 (UTC)

Living, probably. Or dying. Or something in between... but why advertise it? I don't advertise it when I glue myself to the ceiling, which is, I might add, what I'm doing up here, and no, I'm not coming down, mostly because I can't. 1234 ~ 21:58, 5 November 2011

Uh huh -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 22:49, November 5, 2011 (UTC)

One rule of being a vandalslayer is to never give the vandal a reaction. The vandal's ultimate goal is to piss everyone off, and by showing them you are pissed off, they will become more motivated to do it again. Just something I always keep in mind. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 6 November 2011, at 03:33

I'm mad at the site admins, where were they?????????? -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 03:34, November 6, 2011 (UTC)

Listen to Lollipop. Let's not have an Andorin Kato 2.0 on our hands. Also, watch copious amounts of The Wire and try to understand more the systemic and reactionary causes of crime, and how they apply to this situation. Then you can probably write an essay with that title. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:22, November 6, 2011 (UTC)

k -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 05:57, November 6, 2011 (UTC)

thank oo

Thank you for voting You have recieved a single pass to the Jones Family Memorial Museum to see all the artifacts retrieved without incident by the various Joneses. The museum remains the most popular location in the continental United States to be crushed by a boulder, despite that wanky 127 Hours film. --Nikau 02:32, November 9, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks

When I showed my recently featured article to my good friend Vasco da Gama, he had this to say:

“ Eu não falo Inglês, estúpido. ”

Thanks for your vote, though. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:39, 9 November 2011

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The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

November 10th, 2011 • Issue 144 • Is it really that big?

Hard-Hitting Journalism By Chief There's plenty for the UnSignpost to talk about this week so, naturally, we have decided not to talk about any of it. Instead we are going to tell you about the issues, the real issues, the ones that they don't want you to know about. Issue number one is that the cabal chairperson for November: Zombiebaron has, and not everybody knows this, instructed the administrative body to ban everyone in the world. You can see that it's happening. I mean, does it not seem strange to you that every time there's some kind of vandalism at some point an administrator just happens to turn up? Are you with us? True anarchists should be sure to pick up their copy of "If you can't revert it, kick it to death" when it comes out on UnTunes. Another issue that they don't want you to know is that we appear to have another VFS fast approaching, which for the experienced among you also means four weeks worth of UnSignposts following the VFS. This is news which pleases our editor greatly as it will just about take him through to the stage where he can fill at least half of every issue with mince pie banter and can continue to drop into a stupor every Thursday without fear of missing another UnSignpost. The page is a melting pot of passive aggressive wankery mixed in with pessimism. We won't be quoting any of it here unfortunately, our wankery license got revoked after we ran that Conservapedia issue. Electrified mocha chinchilla has also hit the forums this week objecting to constant changes to the site notice. Something which should be secondary in importance to the fact that the vast majority of the userbase don't seem to have noticed, clearly we need a new site notice, possibly one that sits in the middle of the screen and runs away when you try to close it. Lyrithya has closed her fund-raising forum, having raised no money whatsoever, this correspondent isn't quite sure whether she understands what you when you fund-raise, and also would like to suggest she runs a car wash next time she wants to raise some cash. She closed the forum by saying "Thank you all for your efforts. Unfortunately blah blah blah...". Disgruntled banner creators are strongly encouraged not to hunt Lyrithya down and "Gut her like a stuck Pig", but obviously if such a thing were to happen it would not only provide great publicity for the wiki, but also would provide UnSignpost material for at least three months. On the topic of UnSignpost material, the editorial team would like to celebrate an entire year at the helm of the UnSignpost. A year, over the course of which, only two issues have been missed. Thanks must go to Frosty, Lyrithya and anyone else who picked up the slack on weeks when the editor wasn't doing the job he should have been. Thanks also to the subscribers, without you we'd just be sticking this on Mhaille's talk page every week. I'm so pleased to have been a part of this that I've bought you all this small box of chocolates, to share, and I've bought myself this giant golden Camel because... well... I need it. IC By Magic man There is a group of people, cool people. These cool people do cool things like collaborate on articles monthly and... well, actually, that's all they really do. But they're cool while doing it! These cool people are so very cool that they have a section on the main page devoted to them and their very own Uncyclopedia: namespace page. I know what you're thinking, "Who are these people, and where can I get one of their autographs?" Well, I'll tell you. These cool people that I'm referring to are the gang over at Imperial Colonization (That's right, kids, I'm on the list. One at a time, please. Don't worry, everybody, I have enough ink to sign everyone's foreheads and babies and such). Unfortunately, a terrible thing has happened to the cool kids at IC. Their section on the main page has ben hidden away between <!------------ ------------------------------ -->'s, their Uncyclopedia: namespace page hasn't been edited since July, and, worst of all, dare I say it? Their coolness has worn off. I know, it's pretty bad. Now that the IC crew is lacking in coolness, they haven't been seen collaborating on an article together in months and they've been having the same vote since October... in 2010. The situation is starting to get dire. We here at the UnSignpost are far too lazy to actually interview anybody, so we just decided to try and interview ourselves. But we kept missing our appointments, with ourselves. We wanted to interview Chief, but he was far to busy with "real life" to talk to us on the matter, whatever that means. We tried interviewing Magic man, but he wouldn't talk to us about IC because he said, "If you talk to yourself, you'll get people to think you're crazy." What a weirdo. And we didn't even bother contacting Frosty because we don't like him. So when all was said and done, the only actual person we interviewed wasn't even alive at the time. It was Zombiebaron, and I bet you can guess what he said. However, if we had interviewed anybody who had more that one word in their vocabulary, we imagine some of those words might be words like 'bad', 'unacceptable', 'disappointing', and maybe even, *Gulp*, 'uncool'. So Imperial Colonization, if you're reading this, this is a call to action. Go finish that vote that's been going on far too long now, and collaborate on an article, already! That's right, you know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about getting my your cool back.

Check out these pages! It's coming... possibly Run this up your flagpole Up Sog! Whatever this is Lots of sexy people... and Dexter111344 From our logs: 23:59, November 7, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.128.203.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ("small dick in his pants that is purple with green.") 12:59, November 5, 2011 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked I will blank moar pages (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (What's this button do? Whoops!) 01:01, November 6, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 79.97.248.48 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (SUCK COCK SUCK COCK SUCK COCK SUCK COCK) 04:51, November 5, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 108.211.110.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (i'll lemony you right in the snicket) 18:19, November 3, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.120.12.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Claims to be a tor exit node) 01:40, November 4, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 96.255.253.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (It's meant to be BS, numbnuts; it's a comedy site. lrn2read.) Biopic of the Week His name is Iwritewhatiwant. Possibly. We aren't sure and neither is he/she/it. Naturally the UnSignpost completed all the necessary research to write a biopic and certainly didn't have to keep refering back to his userpage while writing. He of the strange username joined us at the start of September and now as he enters his third month one thing has become clear to all of us. He doesn't want to write anything all that often. Oh the raptures we slip into when he touches his quill to the parchment and makes words appear, the prose, the paragraphs, the lack of vowels... it's something to behold. His achievements have included beating Rcmurphy to Noob of the Month, scooping the Best Noob Article in the PLS and molesting anybody who comes within 6 feet of him. We went through about 17 correspondents to get this biopic, the rest of them are probably locked in a warehouse somewhere being forced to writewhathewants. In which case the joke is on him since most of them can barely speak, let alone write. So congratulations Iwritewhatiwant you are officially an evil, slave-driving freak of nature and that's why we love you. Old School FA The Earth. Majestically spinning on its axis for thousands of years on end, in a constant state of evolution, progress, and overall forward movement. The millions of innovations in technology that the human race has brought to this planet in its tenure here is beyond the scope of typical brain capacity, and has for the most part been beneficial, to the human race at least, if nothing else. This begs the question: With all of these innovations to make life here on Earth so luxurious, why the FUCK have we not invented WIDER FUCKING HALLWAYS?! The ongoing battle with the narrow hallway continues to be fought by us hard-working civilians, day after day, and doesn't look to have an end in sight. This fight is not only against the severe crampedness of such passages, but against the barrage of personages we are forced to encounter walking through them every day. Read the full report here. Newsroom UnTune of the week (Anniversary Special!)* Stalker *Yes anniversary special means the same UnTune we used this time last year, who knows, maybe next year can just be one big anniversary special!

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:48, 10 November 2011

Of Course I'd agree

Thanks for wanting to adopt me. Heading says my response. And thanks for nominating me. I deem at as an honour. POP! --PopGoesTheWeasel 04:13, November 12, 2011 (UTC)

Excellent, if you need help with anything be sure to let me know! First off sign your posts like this --~~~~ rather that just typing your username. Because everybody else does that... ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:22, November 12, 2011 (UTC)

That was a mistake, thanks for telling me. --PopGoesTheWeasel 04:28, November 12, 2011 (UTC)

k ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:27, November 12, 2011 (UTC)

QVFD is not a discussion page

I understand you may feel the need to defend your decision to qvfd something, but that is what talkpages are for; if something merits discussing, do so there. It makes sense that one should be allowed to contest the deletion of something on the page so the admins see it, but at that point please leave it up to the admin, or take the matter elsewhere. You are a poopsmith and as such expected to be above this sort of thing; please remember this in the future and don't muck around on official pages. Thank you. 1234 ~ 05:34, 12 November 2011

What Magic man said. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:56, November 12, 2011 (UTC)

Category:Review Suspended

Hey, man, please don't add that to review requests; it doesn't actually do anything except bump the request to the end of the queue, which just makes it even less likely to get a review in good time (say, if it fails VFH), and regardless of that, anyone who looks at the article should notice pretty quickly it's already on VFH and will probably factor that into their decision whether or not to review it anyway. And even if an article doesn't need a review, one can still be useful for fine-tuning and general improvement, different perspectives and all. You know? 1234 ~ 15:09, 13 November 2011

Yeah ok ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 20:13, November 13, 2011 (UTC)

Argument Clinic

Thanks For Your Purchase! The NAARAHYNWOMDTCRDP appreciates your patronage because it prevents us from having to get real jobs and we can continue to provide you with compelling yet useless publications which exploit your fear of embarrassment and nuclear holocausts. Here's an oddly designed abomination of a template for your talk page as a special gift which acknowledges your stupidity for everyone on Uncyclopedia to see!

You now only have 80% fewer arguments on your talk page! Congratulations! Thanks for the vote too.--    18:56, November 14, 2011 (UTC)

Your Opinion Please

Hey, I saw that you voted for my article, anywho, I was wondering if you think it would be "to much" if I wrote an Unnews article about Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan. – Preceding unsigned comment added by ZTVstudios (talk • contribs)

I think of UnNews as more of the place for a satirical view point on actual events and limited too events only. However some of our greatest UnNews have been based on fake events, what made the difference was the writer! So I think if you can pull it off, go for it. Also I liked your original articles too, very nice ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:45, November 15, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the review of St. Louis Cardinals

You're right, I should definitely figure out something more to put in the 1970s (and the Popular Media . . . or just, as you say, remove the bullets).

As for Fredbird, he actually does have a history of, for lack of a better phrase, putting someone's head inside his beak, although of course he's not violent about it. Truth can be stranger than fiction!

The joke about Obama is that the Cubs are the Cardinals' mortal enemy, so his wearing a Cubs jacket would be like if he were to wear a Red Sox jacket in Yankees Stadium.

I like most of the history, but I will look over it in the near future and see if there's anything to be trimmed. And do something about the links. After all, I can save a "complete" copy under my user page for my own happiness.--Sloublues 02:46, November 15, 2011 (UTC)

You can move it too. But I don't think its in danger of deletion, I like my revieiws to offer advice on how to get it up to feature

Thanks for helping out

Thanks a lot, Frosty. Ever since you adopted me, things have been looking up. You have edited my articles while I was too busy kitten-huffing(this joke is damn old) and you inserted links, paragraph formatting and whatever shit I was having problems with. You even nominated me for Noob Of The Month. I have to say, I'm touched. I look up to you as a role model, and I would like to thank you for helping me out with my articles and indirectly giving me helpful tips. My articles are sometimes, in my eyes, a little embarrassing but you somehow managed to make them look good. My first article was, I think, quite bad, but I believe I'm improving? I have improved my user page and made more articles. Anyways, thanks a lot. I don't know if I may be Noob Of The Month, but I do know with someone like you helping me, I believe you may turn me into a good noob! Or uncyclopedian or whatever shit..., so, thanks a lot. I may be thanking you again soon at this rate you're helping me with! Thanks! Now lets put an epic template here.

A mysterious stranger has awarded you a slice of cake!

The icing is extra-frosty!

---

-- 15:06, November 15, 2011 (UTC)

Don't mention it. I love to help out. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:32, November 16, 2011 (UTC)

Ah...thanks anyway! -- 08:41, November 16, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 09:28, November 16, 2011 (UTC)

Award from UN:REQ

This user created Minecraft, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

This user created James Cook, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

UnSignpost - 17 November 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

83.54% more reliable than The Daily Mail

November 17th, 2011 • Issue 145 • Yes, yes it is really that big!

VFS and Turkey Balls By Chief Now it would be very easy for the UnSignpost to devote yet another issue of the year to covering the VFS and the voting on the same, the interviews with the candidates, the scores, the numbers, the lunches with the bureaucrats, and Sycamore shaking his head slowly as he despairs at the futility of it all. So we will. It's VFS time again! Voting was opened on Sunday by Zombiebaron with a pair of massive scissors. As he prepared to cut the ribbon he turned to the assembled masses and, wiping a tear from his eye, announced, "Zombiebaron"; naturally the crowd went wild. The early nominations flooded in: everyone who was anyone seemed to garner a nomination, as well as several people who aren't people at all. Two users have distanced themselves from the pack: Black flamingo11, the noire gregarious wading bird who has captured Uncyclopedia's imagination with his endless flows of witty prose and his avoidance of all forms of drama, has stacked up twenty-two fresh crispy votes. In order to best sum up his thoughts on being nominated, we've decided to hack up anything he has said on the VFS page and arrange it into a more suitable order: "What a nice old man his socks are. I would make a terrific admin. I'm my first choice." You heard it here first and, hilariously, so did he. The other contender is Romartus, with twenty votes. Uncyclopedia's voting machine and general history boffin had this to say to the UnSignpost: "Perhaps too young. Excellent." He probably isn't a paedophile but if you are concerned, then why not write to us at: "Save The children, The UnSignpost". We'll get them, by which we mean your letters, not the children. Other contenders are Frosty with seven votes, PIGGY with nine and Sycamore, who has eight. As VFS hurtles towards its final round, we here at the UnSignpost are on the edge of our seats and we hope you will be too. The other news is that it is once again time for the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, described by liars as "A celebration and carnival of sublime writing" and by others as "A wretched hive of scum and villainy". Ringmaster Host of the competition for this year is Mhaille, who has started a forum asking for judges. Judging is fun and improves your sex life in 94% of cases, so why not get involved? Eyes forward everyone! It's all about to kick off! Nominate my PIGGY! By Chief Discussions began in the forum this week. Well of course they did, after all that is what a forum is for. However one particular discussion is over the removal of the rule against nominating your own articles for VFH without a pee review. Uncharacteristically for a discussion on Uncyclopedia about an aspect of Uncyclopedia, everyone appeared to be in agreement. The brains behind the idea, if brains is the right word, is Uncyclopedia's very own deputy innovator Lyrithya, who would like nothing more than to see the good ship Uncyclopedia sink below the ocean of crap because Uncyclopedians were far too busy hanging their appalling articles off it to notice this analogy breaking down. Unsportingly the forum was started the day before the UnSignpost was due to be delivered last week and thus everything that we have said so far is hideously out of date. The rule has already been removed and no, we didn't want your opinion; you'd have just slowed progress down with your so-called "questions" and "concerns". The other news for this week is that Zombiebaron has figured out how to raise our edit count by over 9000! His solution is to simply delete 15,000 articles by Christmas because... well, because it would be tremendous fun. Also because Dr. Skullthumper, who isn't a real doctor, made some statistics that showed that we had most edits when we had 15,000 articles, so deleting 15,000 to bring us back to around 15,000 will, logically, produce more edits, mostly, we fear, from people complaining that we have deleted 15,000 pages without asking. Anyone wishing to participate in Zombiebaron's Time Travelling Article Removal and Edit Count Revival Event (that's easy to remember because it spells TTARECRE) should assemble, with their time machines, a week last Tuesday to be given their instructions twenty minutes earlier.

Check out these pages! We really do! Ethine reckons deleting 15,000 articles would work too From our logs Under user bans the other admins special!): 08:16, August 22, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 132 seconds ‎ (in my country, it is a tradition that on the penultimate monday of august, we ban someone with an allcaps name. a bit obscure, but there you go.) 11:15, August 21, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 138 minutes ‎ (I recently lost a sock in the wash. was it one of your relatives?) 12:49, June 19, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 132 seconds ‎ (you are my all-time favourite fascist dictator) 15:17, April 6, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (why hello there, handsome) 07:48, January 29, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 23 seconds ‎ (who the fuck are you, and what makes you think you can "write" an "article", eh?) 10:28, December 25, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 143 seconds ‎ (Merry thing you don't celebrate old chap! Hope the presents you didn't get would have been fantastic!) 10:33, December 15, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Chronarion (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 119 seconds ‎ (A man, a plan, a canal, and then you filled in the canal with silly-putty.) 09:31, December 1, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 weeks 4 days 5 hours 6 seconds ‎ (*looks through ban log* - dear god, I've never banned Zombiebaron, he must feel so left out! I must rectify this at once.) Memorial of the Week By now you have probably heard the terrible news, or at least seen the huge black manhole cover hats he made us all wear. Under user has left the fold and ventured onward to pastures new. Under user came into this world on the fifth of July 2007 and since then he has written articles, pee reviewed more articles than you have ever read , edited the UnSignpost for months on end and chopped more potatoes than the Irish ever did. The esteemed Under user requested that his administrator status be removed earlier this week and Thekillerfroggy generously excused him from the farewell de-bagging in the canteen. He has stated his intention to continue reading the featured articles which, to be honest, makes him more active than most of the active users. Confusion also reigns over the fate of the annual mince pie race, which, without its founder and annual winner, may not take place, much to the disappointment of all three of the competitors. Perhaps someday UU will return and change our lives once again, perhaps not; regardless the UnSignpost wishes him all the best in whatever it is he does in real life and reminds him that he still owes us £4.70 in tea and biscuit money. Newsroom UnTune of the week I Will Possess Your Log

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:28, 17 November 2011

Hey man

How are you doing Frosty? You are not worthy of that name since we are the ones freezing here, we already have snow! I just saw the VFS thing and I kinda guess you wanted to be an admin and all, I hope you're not pissed, just telling you I'M gonna be on IRC for about an hour. Just saying. Mattsnow 06:25, November 17, 2011 (UTC)

Why would I be pissed? Flamingo and Romartus deserve they've been here for years! Oh cool, I was just about to pp in actually. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:58, November 17, 2011 (UTC)

Ninjastar!

Oh wow an award! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:02, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

HELP!

Help me! I'm running out of ideas ever since I created that Article. I've read my article over and I find my humor in there gradually decreasing. I've actually got my ideas ready before I created it, but now ,I realise my ideas may not be as humerous as I thought it'd be. Can I do something about it? Can 'YOU' help me? Can I put a template? I need to do something about this article. Can you give me some tips on making it better? Thanks a lot. Sorry for bothering you, yet again. And thanks for reading this. If you ever tire of helping me, please inform me. I will imeediately refrain from screaming in your face whenever I need help. It's just that my article is driving me Bat Fuck Insane. Thanks a lot for reading this!

--POP!. (talk) 04:01, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

I could move it to your userspace if you like, that way the construction tag can be removed and you can construct the article as the ideas come to you, and take as long as you like with it. And when you finish it, I can re-mainspace it. Hows this sound? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:43, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

You should also come on IRC too, its fun and you get to chat to people including myself. DO IT!!! You can probably get some advice from people who can write better than me (I'm far from gifted in writing) but you could get some advice there. See yah there. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:47, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks a lot! As for the IRC, I'm not sure about that. I'll go there when I have the time! I'll move the article myself, thanks for the tip, and thanks a lot! --POP!. (talk) 06:01, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

I offered to move it, as I can suppress the redirect it creates, but you're welcome. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:06, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 24 November 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

November 24th, 2011 • Issue 146 • This is a knife!

VFS and Turkey Ball By Chief Well here we go again: VFS has reached ROUND FOUR!! The excitement on the wiki was palpable and here at the UnSignpost we could barely contain ourselves. Now while we usually compare the need to meet a deadline every Thursday for every week of our lives to being slowly lowered into a vat of acid without the benefit of being Batman first, this week we were whisked out of the vat before the worst could befall our dynamic duo. Thus we began to plan for the UnSignpost as far back as Monday. Monday! It was as though our prayers had been heard by a God whose power only manifests via consensus on humour wikis. So another VFS has been delivered to us and as the top candidates have been selected, we will now judge and belittle them for your amusement and our own perverted satisfaction. Black flamingo11: Bursting through to the third round of VFS in first place is Black flamingo11, whose cunning tactic so far has been to make absolutely no comment at all regarding the VFS. We're sure some kind of snivelling "Thank you so much for voting for me, it's good you did because I completely deserve this" message will wing its way to your talk page. We sat down with him to establish just what he thought being an admin might be like: "It's the cash I look forward to the most!" he enthused as we queued at his local soup kitchen, "I mean sure I enjoyed doing things just to be helpful, but if there wasn't cash in it for me somewhere, it'd just be pointless!". Thank goodness he isn't just in this for the money or he'd be so incredibly disappointed. Romartus: So close on Black flamingo's heels into the third round that it's a good job he's wearing such baggy trousers is Romartus. Besides voting for everyone who isn't himself in the second round he has also made very little comment on the VFS, but expect no comment from him regarding your support or how much he appreciates it. Why? Because he is actually a very sophisticated robot who thirsts for the destruction of unwitting humour wikis like this one. We didn't need to talk to him; after all, robots don't have feelings, so fuck you Romartus! You'll never find our office. The other top story this week is that the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball has begun. The judges are in place and the competitors are poised on the blocks. Any moment now they'll write an article and run down to the other end, some three hundred meters from the starting line, there they will leap as far as they can into the sand. We assume. Otherwise there is absolutely no need for this competition to be taking place on a running track and I am utterly mystified as to why I've been handed this starting pistol and why Shabidoo has those flags. If this seems like your idea of a good time, the competition is open until the third of December though please bring pants: "The next person who arrives without pants will be disqualified," said competition host Mhaille yesterday. "This competition has the potential to be very exciting and we don't want anyone getting the wrong idea, or getting splashed." I'm back! By Puppy Did you all miss me? No? Fuck it. I'm going again. Festive Treats Ahoy! By Chief Just a quick word to announce the imminent arrival of two fun festive traditions additions to Uncyclopedia. Normally Under user is the benevolent king of Uncyclopedia's Christmas time and he presides over the jollities like a strange old man presides over a children's playground, however this year Under user failed his annual admin re-qualification tests (apparently he took more than 10 seconds to punch out the baby) and thus cannot host ANYTHING any more. True story. Because of this, the annual mince pie scoffing competition will be relocated to the user page of ChiefjusticeDS. If you have a taste for those delightful Christmas treats then feel free to join in. The competition will begin on the 1st of December and it must be stressed that pies scoffed before that date are so-called "Training Pies" and will not count towards your total. The ban patrol-ho-ho may or may not return depending on the financial climate. Remember: PIES!!!

Check out these pages! That's Racist! Have camera, will sing Drunk editing Who? From our logs: 06:01, November 17, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.116.44.143 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Wank wank wank. Boy I sure do love to wank. Can I wank on you? I think I will. I don't require your permission. WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK...) 19:30, November 16, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.180.115.161 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (Panic at the dildo! It's funny because dildo sounds a bit like disco, is a funny word and it's a sex thing!) 12:33, November 19, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked JAF1999 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Wow, you're either really stupid or you're a really lame troll. Probably both, coming to think of it.) 21:17, November 22, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.104.226.185 (Talk) with an expiry time of 12 hours ‎ (You're doing undictionary wrong, I didn't think that was possible) 02:51, November 16, 2011 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked Wearetheworld (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (cool story, bro) 12:53, November 23, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I seem to be under-represented in this week's UnSignpost. You should remedy this.) Biopic of the Week In the biopic this week is HELPME, and we'll begin with this quote from his userpage: "I used to be full of shit, humorless, stupid, uptight, and annoying. Now I am slightly less of those things." What a nice man, a liar, but a lovely man nonetheless. Arriving on Uncyclopedia at the start of 2010, HELPME became well-known for his hyperactive page editing, article reviewing, outrageous gaying and recent changes patrolling. All this earned himself a whole stack of shiny goodies, several death threats and the acclaim of all. This was all splendid and lovely. BUT THEN CAME THE DARKNESS. It corrupted his soul and made him simultaneously world-wise and world-weary, now happiness is "Fucking square, man" and hyperactive page editing "Shits for the birds, man". However this hasn't rendered him incapable of doing the thankless busywork we know he used to love so much. Welcome back, HELPME, now get to work; the drainage ditch under Olipro's desk won't drink itself. Make haste, my jacuzzi water grows tepid. ATTENTION! At ease soldier. Newsroom UnTune of the week Home on a Friday Night Confessions from Recent Changes "The politicians are demented people that take orders from demented monkeys" - 86.178.71.123 "created article -- finally figured out how images work" - JacKow "This is a satirical website, you know for satire." - Zarbag

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:10, 24 November 2011

Sorry it took so long. Too busy with articles. I plan to make a start up on the new IC.

A MESSAGE FROM THE HEAD PRIEST JOE9320 Welcome to the Goa Tse Clan. Congratulations for joining this group, a very good alternative to the Grue Clan or the UNSOC Clan. Anyway, as for joining the Goa Tse Clan, you are entitled to talk about Goa Tse. Also, you must abide by the Goa Tse Clan Code, which is the Beginner's Guide of course.

Here is your Goa Tse Clan Monk pack:

This user is a member of the Goa Tse Clan . This user does not want Uncyclopedia to be the worst .

Copy this into your user page.

Copy this and place it into your sig.

May the Lord be with you, as always, opening His arms wide as a sign of peace and love.

P.S. Screw the Flying Spaghetti Monster- it is a creation of the Devil.

|Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 10:49, November 30, 2011 (UTC)

Oh thankyou. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:16, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

Re: Redirects

Hi Frosty, I need your help with your something. Since I sometimes have a hard time getting onto my userpage for one reason or the other, I'm trying to create a redirect to my page to find another way to get around to it.

Here is the redirect I'm trying to create: The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

If you can help me create/teach me how to make redirects, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for your help and/or consideration. Send back as quickly as you can. --Matthlock 00:14, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

Generally they do not allow you to have redirects to your userspace. What seems to be the problem with direct access? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:15, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 1 December 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Free Newspaper Only Two People Started Out Editing, But Now They Want Nothing To Do With!

December 2nd, 2011 • Issue 147 • Don't make me use this!

Reflections, Turkey Ball, Cabal Broadcasts and VFS By Chief As December dawns, the UnSignpost can only reflect on what has been an eventful year. Or rather we would if the reflections on this year weren't all about poo, bacon and Lyrithya... FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW. The UnSignpost would like to remind all users that there is only a month left before the annual Cabal broadcast absolutely nothing happens. The reflections must be completed or the world might end. If there were a cabal watching, Socky and Roman Dog Bird adding reflections about their strange depraved fantasies and bowel movements in the early hours of the 3rd of January would upset it no end. The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball ploughs onward, amassing entrants in all categories, to Mhaille's undoubted delight. While Mhaille was not available for comment, we were able to sit down with Lyrithya who just happened to be in the lobby complaining that she has not been in the UnSignpost enough over the last few weeks. What comment would she make? What fabulous insights would she reveal? "What Turkey Day Ball?" asked Lyrithya. This was deeply concerning on two levels, firstly because Lyrithya is judging the title category, and secondly because she said it to a hat stand about 4 feet to our reporter's left. Leaving Lyrithya to continue her tense negotiations with the hat stand about getting a job with computers, we moved on to interview Zombiebaron, who commented, "Zombiebaron", as usual. The annual Mince Pie eating competition started on ChiefjusticeDS's talk page on Tuesday, two days early, because he's impatient as well as being fat and lazy. All users are invited to join in and attempt to match Under user's astonishing work scoff rate. Oliphaunte has also come up with a brand new feature for the UnSignpost to further the relentless search for filler material. He proposes a Question and Answer section where you, the users, ask the UnSignpost a question and then we put it in the right hand column with a scathing and witty reply. Obviously such a plan requires questions, and therefore, if this sounds like your sort of thing, ask some questions. It's for a good cause. VFS has also concluded. As you read this splendid periodical the results are known, however due to our lack of a time machine and the injustice of the world in general we do not know as we are writing this now. Our experts have looked at the vote and, after much deliberating, tea drinking and "Please stop holding me prisoner"-ing they concluded that there could be several outcomes, which further lead us to conclude that we should have captured some better experts. You'll have to wait until next week for the scoop on the new admins, which should please Black flamingo11 as he hates being in the UnSignpost; the illusive flamingo had this to say to the UnSignpost this week: "The horse porn is in the house; why would I throw it out?". Don't look at us, you voted for him. Hugely important happening stuns Uncyclopedia; no one cares By Bizzeebeever This week a bolt of lightning apparently emanating from Wikia struck Uncyclopedia in a sustained manner, singeing eyebrows and back-hair from the United Kingdom all the way to that iota-sized island which Frosty calls "home". What was this scintillating stroke of... of... scintillation? Why, a mighty arbiter of Wikia was perturbed from her perch by the screams of the tortured mortals long enough to, as she put it, "blackmail a techy" into granting Uncyclopedians that boon for which they had clamoured for literally a couple of days: new namespaces. Yes, you asked for it, and now you've got it: those heretofore-faux namespaces, including HowTo, Why?, and that incredibly popular mainstay of Uncyclopedia, UnDebate, are now actual namespaces. According to several people who understand the full implications of this, having namespace-specific stuff will potentially make the entire thing a lot easier to deal with. Said designated Uncyclopedia scapegoat Lyrithya: "Having namespace-specific stuff could potentially make the entire thing a lot easier to deal with." When the news of the blessed event was heard, there was shouting, jubilation, gunshots, and widespread looting, and that was just Roman Dog Bird. Uncyclopedian-extraordinaire Zombiebaron, taking a couple of seconds off from his normal endeavours attempting to fit all of Uncyclopedia onto VFD, was heard to shout his own name in an uncharacteristically-ebullient manner. Extravagant fame-whore Bizzeebeever, the author of the forum topic which started it all, spoke from his 15,000-room palace constructed entirely from mirrored pianos: "Of course, no one man can take credit for this," he said, flinging the end of a tie-dyed feather boa over his shoulder, "it was truly an achievement made possible by the work of multitudes. Anyone who notices the massive groundswell of changes should especially thank Lyrithya for her ceaseless work on the site." He also went on to thank Sannse for her munificence and benevolence, as well as the small pile of ashes which, we presume, is all that remains of the "techy" whom Sannse "blackmailed", and, lastly but not least-ly, Zombiebaron... for "being such an incredible pile of 'Zombiebaron'."

Check out these pages! Mediate Babel table? This is just weird Arson From our logs: 14:17, November 29, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.65.34.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Monumental Wang, and not in a good way) 23:20, November 28, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 117.241.59.129 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (go back to whatever foreign place you probably come from) 22:04, November 26, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Lingling513 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (If all pony fans were like you, I would have never watched it. Thank God shitheads like you only make up a small part of the fan base. The new episode blew, but it was funnier than your shit article.) 22:02, November 29, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.89.220.165 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (WE COULD JUST DELETE EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR A TEMPLATE AND IT WOULD BE BETTER! I'M QUITE LIVID AT MYSELF FOR HAVING NOT THOUGHT OF IT!) 03:45, November 27, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.164.108.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of 5 hours ‎ (You're right, I'm so much better than you because I'm an admin. Also, try to familiarize yourself with apostrophes.) Biopic of the Week Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO! It's Xamralco! It has taken us five whole months to biopic him, and now we're going to do it without insulting him once! KIDDING! Xamralco slimed his way onto Uncyclopedia, as slime creatures will, through a carelessly open downstairs window in late June of this year. Having slimed his way in, Xamralco thought to himself, "What could a useless slime beast such as I contribute here?" While he was deciding, he wrote four featured articles and won writer of the month and the Best Rewrite category of the most recent Poo Lit Surprise. Naturally, what the people want to know is: When exactly is Xamralco going to do something useful? When will he stop resting on his laurels and actually get down to work? Strangely, for a slime beast, his talk page is full of him being thanked, making witty banter and generally taking part. What a slimy bastard. I shall smite him, and his slime. Well done Xamralco, now get to work or get out. Old School FA Long walks on the beach There’s nothing I enjoy more than long walks on the beach. Some of my other hobbies include watching the sunset from a picturesque grassy knoll, indulging in fine wine with a scrumptious foie gras dinner, and candlelight conversations on French film. But I think you'll agree that nothing is quite as sexy as me taking a long walk on the beach. Me with my salon-fresh sandy blonde hair flowing in the breeze (courtesy of Tina; you're a miracle worker, honey!) and a sporty J.Crew sweater tied casually around my waist, lobbing a stray Frisbee back at some snot nosed little urchin. You'll see me on the coast looking pensively out at the sea, reflecting back on all of the endearing little things I did that week. New Admin Celebratory UnTune! The Uncyclopedian's Song Confessions from Recent Changes "THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED!! (+ Expansion tag)" - Wilytank "Added some categories, WITHOUT using HotCat." - 66.105.218.19 "Reverting edit, as it was so good, it would intimidate other users." - Matt lobster "Torture instruments and a ducking stool" - Jonny appleseed

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:14, 1 December 2011

Thanks for nominating me

Thanks for nominating me, Frosty. I'm touched. And by the way, I'll be on vacation for a week starting from tomorrow. When I come back, I'll be sure to work on a template for you and the others who voted for me. Thanks again! You're my favourite adopter! Which does'nt makes sense, because you're my only adopter. Cheers! --POP!GoesTheWeasel 13:53, December 2, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome. Keep writing! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 22:03, December 2, 2011 (UTC)

Dear Frosty

I got a letter from you (or at least my IP's page's history said it was you) complimenting me for being special at writing on Uncyclopedia. Anyways, I need to know this: Was it actually you, did you really mean that, and, if both are yes, what article did you mean? This is important.

24.209.182.98 00:55, December 5, 2011 (UTC)

I saw you wrote descent article, so I gave you the {{IPjoin}} template to encourage you to make an account. Please do. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 02:26, December 5, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you. It's just, I do need to know exactly what article you meant. Please. 24.209.182.98 12:32, December 5, 2011 (UTC)

Frosty

The issue with IRC is that somebody (possibly Meepsheep) was screwing around, and Lyrithya or Olipro or somebody set the channel +i (invite-only). Hop back on, and when you get diverted to #unops, Zombiebaron or somebody will invite you.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Dec 5 '11 3:49 (UTC)

Yeah probably, alright I got an invite from Zb so its all good. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 03:54, December 5, 2011 (UTC)

On the categorization of LangName templates

Hi!

I noticed that you had categorized a bunch of LangName templates, such as Template:LangName en, into a category. That's great! Categorization helps people find the stuff they need, or it should at least. However, your change unfortunately broke userboxes using these LangName templates (mainly Template:Lang) due to the added newline, and as such my user page appeared rather broken. I've fixed some of those, but I'd appreciate if you could take a second look at all of your LangName template edits. Thanks! -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 21:33, December 6, 2011 (UTC)

Damn it, I always break things >_< ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:43, December 7, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 8 December 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

December 8th, 2011 • Issue 148 • Goodbye to all that.

VFS ends... or does it? By Chief The wiki has new admins. There we go, got the first bit of non-news out of the way. Since time and circumstance have both conspired against the UnSignpost in a bid to not only evict us from the building but also to ensure we have nothing to report on every week, it has in fact been eight days since this particular piece of news broke. Black flamingo11 and Romartus have been made administrators and, clearly in protest as to how such a thing could have possibly occurred, Lyrithya has started a vote to change the system in order that such grave injustice does not ever occur again. Black flamingo11 agrees that he is exactly the type of weird abomination that such a system would easily sieve out. Romartus simply muttered something about not wanting to upset the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls; we assume he is chained to a radiator in her flat, occasionally being forced to dance for her amusement. Lyrithya proposes that we scrap the current system, just like she always does, and then we bring in a brand new one which nobody except her understands (see the abuse filter for details). Lyrithya is also to be congratulated for making Modusoperandi be serious for five minutes, something which science, constant pain, and the ingratitude of man has failed to do for around twenty years. In other news, Joe9320 has declared that Imperial Colonization has risen and that "This will mark the Stupid Ages of Imperial Colonization." This correspondent has to agree that this will certainly be the case if Joe9320 runs it. While he was declaring things that nobody will remember in five minutes time, Joe also declared himself Lord of Uncyclopedia and all its dominions, may those who defy him drink eternally from Satan's grotesque member. Or words to that effect. Zombiebaron and Thekillerfroggy celebrated the sixth anniversary of the featuring of Euroipods by defacing the logo with a blue calculator in exchange for money and referring their friends to do the same. Such jollity flew straight over the heads of most of the userbase, whom Thekillerfroggy condemned as being far too young to remember when, like he can, this was all fields. Happy sixth birthday, Euroipods. We baked you a free cake. You just have to pay for it, and get your friends to do the same. This barrel? Oh no, we haven't even thought of scraping the bottom of it. Finally, this forum still exists, and users have flocked from miles around to vote for it. The UnSignpost has no comment to make on this, except to ask these people: Who are you? How did you get in when we changed the locks? Try not to get too concerned. Remember, Wikia is a reputable company and certainly isn't a transparent front for a greedy Dragon which hates you. Honest. Competition Ahoy! By Chief Those of you who absolutely love writing competitions have happily had very little to complain about for the last couple of weeks as the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball has enthralled and thrilled you for literally hours. The competition closed for judging last Saturday. Needless to say this is a long time to wait perched upon the edge of ones seat, as Shabidoo confesses himself to be, so it is just as well that the vast majority of the judges have decided to help out by failing to turn in any judging. The UnSignpost wises to remind competition judges that failure to complete judging on time can have a number of detrimental effects including sudden blindness, ostracism within the community and believing oneself to be an Ostrich. So unless you want to be hurtling 'round the wiki flapping your tiny wings in a futile attempt to take flight this time next week, I'd get on with it, and we do mean you, Wilytank. Thought we wouldn't notice, didn't you, and as for new admin, Black flamingo11, he has absolutely no excuse. Get to it you worthless peons; if you had lives you wouldn't even know this competition exists! MadMax has proposed a second edition of The Article Whisperer to commence immediately after Christmas. Let us take a brief moment to explain why you are ideally suited to not only take part but why taking part is a brilliant idea. First of all, MadMax has the power to crush you like a dry reed, and secondly because MadMax has the power to crush you like a dry reed. The Article Whisperer is a competition held by UN:REQ to get some of the most requested articles on the site written down and made shiny. Head over to the forum right now and try to spare some time to volunteer to write or judge this, the most useful of our writing competitions. If you don't, MadMax will kill a Panda. In your house. Possibly.

Check out these pages! There is no need to panic Lolwut? UnNews Articles 40 minutes of outrage and panic It's nowhere near over 9000! From our logs (New Admin and Mordillo Special!): 11:00, December 1, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Black flamingo11 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Figure out how to unblock yourself! QUICK! THIS PITCH MEANS THE GAME! SLIDE DIMAGGIO! SLIDE!!) 20:04, December 1, 2011 Black flamingo11 (Talk | contribs) resurrected Black flamingo11 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (I think he has learned his lesson) 13:57, December 4, 2011 Romartus (Talk | contribs) blocked Kelton2 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Inserting nonsense/gibberish into pages: One month ban wasn't enough. Try three this time. ) 18:16, December 4, 2011 Romartus (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Kelton2 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 Days (Inserting nonsense/gibberish into pages: Ok three days. It's Christmas) 15:58, December 6, 2011 Romartus (Talk | contribs) blocked 66.240.56.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't care who fancy. This isn't a dating website (yet)) 15:24, December 1, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 90.221.171.90 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Your future reads:"no trip to the moon anytime in the near future".) Biopic of the Week Because we have to get the UnSignpost Dog into this issue somehow. UnSignpost Q&A I'm in a homosexual relationship with my cousin and I'm worried that my family and friends will find out. That's half the problem as I've a anger problem at my girlfriend who I blame for making me apparently impotent and some violence has taken place between us. Thankfully it's nothing too serious, just some good hearted vicarious punishment for my frustrated sexuality. The truth is I don't enjoy sex with her and I'm racked with terrible feelings of guilt for the casual sex with my cousin. Now I'm eyeing up quite few animals on the farm (sexually) and I'm wondering whether to let them both down gently, or continue with my covert sexual operations. Also I have a child with my sister which I keep in a shed. It's not really like a human being as I have never let it see the outside world and keep it company with my dogs. Do you have any ideas on how to get me out of this mess? - Anonymous Have you considered beating them all to death with a Polo mallet and then throwing them into the canal? Obviously this would be after slicing them up into small easily manageable pieces. That's what I did. - USP Do you like cows? - Lyrithya Moo - USP Newsroom UnTune of the Week The Christmas Song Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #1,824 The constant unreasonable demands of this periodical.

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:23, 8 December 2011

Re: Roman Dog Bird

Frosty, I need to ask you a question. What the hell is Roman Dog Bird's problem? ---Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:40, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

Um... Can you be a little more specific (it's of my belief he has many problems) ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:43, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

Please start the uncyclopedia in Tamil language

Now i understand what is uncyclopedia and how to contribute to it. I wanna to contribute the uncyclopedia in Tamil (தமிழ்) language. So please start the uncyclopedia in Tamil language. Thank you --Sodabottle 07:33, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

uhhhh, maybe you should get some help from the meta wiki if you want to start a new language project, I'm not very good with starting new projects. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 03:14, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

Ban Patrol Archive

Thanks for notifying and moving the latest ban patrol notifications. How do you do that? I have been looking on the ban patrol page for the right button! Thanks. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:42, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

How did you edit my talk page, I've always wanted to do that! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:43, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

Oh wait. You copy that and paste it on to the archive page and then delete the stuff there for the next batch of notifications? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:47, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

Oh I thought that was joke... Its really simple, if its under a BPC header than move it to the archive along with the header, if not leave it. As an admin you can check it... ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:48, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

I am still learning this 'tech stuff', I admit it. Thanks Frosty. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:23, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 08:25, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 15 December 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

December 15th, 2011 • Issue 149 • I demand satisfaction

Weekly news round-up By Chief This week, in lieu of doing any actual news gathering the UnSignpost has swooped around the monthly awards pages and a couple of other pages to keep you updated. We've clicked on literally ten links taking immeasurable risks in the process. First up is Uncyclopedian of the Month which is entirely given over to praising Bizzeebeever for whatever it is he does around here. While we've certainly heard of the fellow we aren't quite sure the 'cut of his jib' as Thekillerfroggy might say is suitable for a serious award such as this. Bizzeebeever commented that he thought "Giving away an award this cheaply sorta devalues it" and for once the UnSignpost finds itself in total agreement. Bizzeebeever currently leads the pack with nine votes to Pentium5dot1's two with slime beast Xamralco bringing up the rear as always. Writer of the Month is also less of a competition and more of a 'let's all vote for Nikau' party. Nikau currently leads with thirteen votes. Naturally, since it is a party half of the userbase haven't been invited and Frosty has chosen to have a party all on his own at the bottom of the page, it's just like we've gone to Australia to meet him. On a serious note don't actually go to Australia; it's full of spiders who hide under toilet seats and drop down on you from trees... while you're on the toilet. Predictably N00b of the Month is also not much of a competition either with Jonny appleseed leading by virtue of having the most sensible username, his fellow competitors Gleep and Ferric AlFerrous had nothing to comment. Probably because we didn't ask. Meanwhile Reviewer of the Month, Potatochopper of the Month and UnBooks:Author of the Month have two nominees between them and have accumulated a total of one vote due to some despicable against voting on Potatochopper of the Month. Users should be aware that the annual awards will open next month to the delight and general acclaim of all. It is the solemn duty of every Uncyclopedian to vote on every single one these awards and yes, we do mean you <insert name here>. The UnSignpost will be there as always, always the bridesmaid but never the bride etc. etc. N3wz! For the win!! By Douchebag McSpackypants The Cabal HEY GUIZE!!! It's me again! Back to bring you more lolicious news and totally s1337 anecdotes! SEE WHAT I DID THERE, IT'S LIKE SWEET AND 1337! HOW S1337 IS THAT!! I totally LOLed @ Uncyclopedia this week as Magic man proposed a competition entirely based on Walruses. THAT'S SO ORIGINAL! Another tip-top totally important story is that Sockpuppet of an unregistered user bumped a forum topic from 2008 to the top of the list in order that he could add some kind of template to it! I'VE DONE SO WELL AT FINDING NEWS THIS WEEK! I've even put a totally hilarious picture over at the side (LOL)!!! So last time I talked about mince piez (Moar internet slang; I'm still hip!). So there I was hanging over the oven as the giantess shook me vigorously AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!! HAHAHAHA... Signal interrupted New message incoming There is no need to panic. Help will never come. Emergency breathing apparatus will not be necessary at this time. Report all dangerous subversives. Expect no mercy this Christmas. Thoughtcrime does not entail death, thoughtcrime IS death. Informants are not everywhere. Secret meetings of which you have no knowledge do not guide this wiki. Nobody cares about your articles. Our vigilance is ceaseless. Continue to as though everything were normal, which it is. Administrators will not tolerate levity of any kind. Bans protect you from that which would do you harm. Accept our reality. Location scrambled. Message ends Signal re-established, original transmission resuming -and if that Rabbit hadn't appeared when it did... well let's just say I'd probably be serving jail time right now! See you next time p33pz!!! Sodomy and Turkeys By Pup Turkey and sodomy. A pairing as seemingly natural as faecal incontinence and free-balling, but at Uncyclopedia we do this with a somewhat less messy outcome an an annual basis - the Aristocrats Turkey Day Ball. This year saw some wonderful entries that promoted strong familial bonds and understanding in the main category - the Aristocrats joke. The tasteless equivalent of the best actor Oscar this year went to Black flamingo for his Aristocrats (class). Tied for second place were Xamralco and Thekillerfroggy for their works on Deleted Scenes and Mementocrats accordingly. We approached Black flamingo for a quote, but in the style of Brando we ended up talking to a Indian instead. Not the one he rode in The Wild One though. In the following category - the equivalent of the Oscar's Best Dance Direction award - was for the Best Bad Taste article. The not-too-shabby Shabidoo won the day with his uncovering of the skeletons in the family closet with The things your family doesn't know, making us wonder about his home life. Following this were Thekillerfroggy - making him the only individual to make the top three in two categories - and some other guy. Finally, the The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery, or The picture one category was hotly contested this year. Magic man streaked ahead of the pack, much to the distaste of the remainder of the pack, Zombiebaron and Mimo&maxus. Special mention here must go to Black flamingo, however, for not competing and still managing to outrank SPIKE, for his less impressive non-entry. Check out all the entrants at Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball. Do it while your mother is in the room.

Check out these pages! TAW! Modusoperandi Roman Dog Bird There is still no reason to panic Working on it From our logs: 14:08, December 13, 2011 Romartus (Talk | contribs) blocked Babablacksheep (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (Baaahhhnnnn) 22:52, December 10, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked SPREE SPREE SPREE SPREE SPREE (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN) 14:18, December 10, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 109.151.40.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Judging from your actions, I would've never guessed a Frenchman invented IQ tests.) 16:50, December 9, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Sog1970 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ (Shouldn't retired users be playing golf or something?) 21:23, December 13, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked ARTWORK (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Cease and desist, I am featuring and should not be disturbed) 19:46, December 8, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.143.173.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (He likes to poop in his pants and look at girls ) Biopic Mince Pie Update of the Week It's the all important coverage of the all important Mince Pie eating competition which you are all interested in! The competition kicked off on ChiefjusticeDS's userpage on November 29th after one of the competitors decided that greed could carry him through an extra two days of competition. The competitors are: last year's champion and general all-rounder Under user whose rate of consumption is unfortunately not matched by his rate of editing as he consistently falls behind and then leaps into the lead when he remembers he owns a computer. ChiefjusticeDS last year's big loser is engaged in a duel with Under user, one that he appears destined to lose due to severe indigestion and heart disease. The current leader is Roman Dog Bird who has eaten an awful lot of Mince Pies. We aren't sure how many but we're pretty sure it's a lot. Anyone who wants to win a free Mince Pie or an out of date Lion Bar is welcome to go over and count them. Just drop the actual numbers into the press room. Keep your eyes glued to the competition, it literally can't get any more exciting. UnSignpost Q&A Are you a pedo? - GEORGIEGIBBONS Answer: We here at the Unsignpost Q&A Department pride ourselves in extensive background checks to prevent the hiring of any pedophiles. At the same time however, most of our security staff think pedophiles are people with unusual sexual infatuation of feet, so pretty much, just keep your distance from our office. Why do you think I work from home? - USP How do I ask a question here? - Magic man Consult one of our helpful staff at the office. If you want help quick, dress up like a 12 year old child and talk with a higher pitched voice. It may result in unexpected outcomes but hey, you'll get your answer. - USP Newsroom UnTune of the Week General Hill's March The Lobsterbacks are coming Yes - the Imperial Colonisational experts are back, and now taking on missionary positions under the lead of a new head priest. Experience the wonder and excitement of working on a colonised article. Yes, You too could be part of the brave new world. Puns like the above are also welcome. Sadly.

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--ChiefjusticePS3 10:25, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

Hello Frosty!

I want to put my article Shanty Town on VFH again. I mean, it has'nt been taken down from VFH yet, but the number of votes are decreasing and it looks bleak. Can, you, by any chance, give my article a pree review? Please? I want to see what's wrong with my article, edit it, then put it up for VFH again (it has'nt been taken down yet, but there is a high chance it will be soon).

Many thanks, adopter Frosty!

--POP!GoesTheWeasel 15:11, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

Hmmm the health is decreasing, as its been on VFH for a while and no-one knew is voting on it. I'm not much of a reviewer, but if want a review ask dis dude he's a top notch reviewer. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:35, December 16, 2011 (UTC)

You Created A Minecraft Article?!

Dude, I love you. --POP!GoesTheWeasel 14:07, December 17, 2011 (UTC)

It was mainly to annoy the sysops by creating a bunch of articles they'd protected from creation, because every attempt made sucked badly, but thankyou. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:20, December 17, 2011 (UTC)

YOU WILL MAKE AN ACCOUNT OR FACE MY WRATH, um... please? ~Sir Frosty

Tee-hee. >:) - The Masked Crumpeter 08:30, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

Oh come on please??? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 08:31, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

What, and give up my anonymity? – Preceding unsigned comment added by 66.105.218.18 (talk • contribs)

YES! I want to call you something other than "that random IP that fixes stuff" >_< ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 10:07, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

You may call me anything you like, just don't call me "late for the orgy!" – Preceding unsigned comment added by 66.105.218.17 (talk • contribs)

I made a petition, you will join, I am relentless! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:31, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

You also get more penifits from joining, you get to move pages, edit the semi-protected stuff and you get a name, is fast and free (it's not a scam I promise) ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:35, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

Italy

Mamma mia! You voted for Italy on VFH and it was featured!

Thanka youa! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 12:34, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

I like pizza, thankies. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:32, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

Hey, you.

I find you a really nice guy, so I fucked some shit up and nominated you for World's best friend award. Hope you nominate yourself. --POP!GoesTheWeasel 14:10, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

Well that would be a little silly, wouldn't it? Seeing as you're already done that, hehe. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:40, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

Blah

The page you are referring to is currently under investigation by local police officers and schools. The content has not been deemed as 'satire' but as racism. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Drumnadrochit (talk • contribs)

Thankyou for your concern, I regret to inform you that vandalism is totally pointless. And that I really don't care how racist it is, chill, its not fact it's friggin lies. Just because you got mad and decided to blank it, doesn't mean everyone else will. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:57, December 21, 2011 (UTC)

That's fine. Vandalism has its place, especially in combatting racism. And we will keep doing it. So enjoy the battle, your work will be cut out. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Drumnadrochit (talk • contribs)

A battle? Honestly, it took me 2 seconds to revert your piss poor attempts of blanking that page, and it will take roughtly the same length of time for an administrator to ban you from the site, I mean is it really worth the effort? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:11, December 22, 2011 (UTC)

No you are right, there are far more important things to do aren't there? Ever thought of using your amazing skills for the good of all humankind? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Drumnadrochit (talk • contribs)

I have and do, human kind is not being harmed by this article, however so I don't see the problem. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:17, December 22, 2011 (UTC)

"human kind is not being harmed by this article" yes it is. locally in drumnadrochit, but I doubt people like you or whoever started the page off has the foresight to see what harm the kind of information that has been placed on there. It is *not* satire, most of it is *not* funny. And the whole point of this ant-wiki set-up is to be funny. However on this page, it is not funny, and it has affected some people. So think on and that goes for the ground-breaking idjits that set up Uncyclopedia too. Humour? Really? No.– Preceding unsigned comment added by Drumnadrochit (talk • contribs)

We have procedures to deal with unfunny articles. Perhaps if you actually READ the information at the links posted in your welcome message, you would have found more out about them. In a nutshell, here they are: If the article is unfunny and less than a paragraph long, it can be listed on QVFD. If the article is unfunny and more than one paragraph long and is less than a week old, use the ICU template. If the article is ICUd and is not improved in a week, it gets deleted. If the article is unfunny and is more than a week old, nominate it on VFD. If you can get at least four other Uncyclopedians to agree with you that the article is trash, it gets deleted. Blanking and edit warring just gets you a ban. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:29, December 22, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 22 December 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

December 22nd, 2011 • Issue 150 • Merry thing you may or may not celebrate!

The Footlitzer Prize is a thing! By UPjcm So, last week our great Chief talked about the pitiful state of Uncyclopedia's awards without even mentioning the most pitiful of them right now. If you read the title, you'd know that I'm talking about the very prestigious Foolitzer Prize. For years, the Foolitzer distinguished the good fools from the bad fools, and it's in such a pitiful state that there's only been five votes this month. Five votes! We need to do better than this, people. Not just for me, but for Uncyclopedia America. "Why should I care about a stupid feature on a stupid site?" a stupid person may ask. Journalistic parody is the most important form of parody out there. Anyone can write an article, but it takes skill to write an UnNews article. We should be trying to reward those skillful bastards, not ignore them. Without UnNews, nobody would take us seriously. Oh, wait. The point is that the Foolitzer needs our love. The hardworking writers that bring us smartly crafted misinformation every day need our love. We need to give them that love. Otherwise, we'll end up being worse than we already are, and do you think little Sophia's self-esteem can afford that? Do the right thing, people. You've got two days. Why two days? Because you just do. VFH By PopGoesTheWeasel & Chief Hello, there. I want to talk about VFH. Those three little letters words. VFH is running low on votes and we need your help. I mean, VFH's aim is to get 20 votes per article, but it can only manage around 9. This makes me having a vagina more realistic and I don't even have a vagina. Incidentally vagina is a very funny word. "How can I help?" you ask. Well permit me to hit you with some totally real and non made-up facts. Every 5 seconds a that VFH has low voting numbers Thekillerfroggy kills a Panda. An actual real Panda. After campaigning fiercely in Xamralco's sitting room he agreed to go and vote. On VFD. Does he have any idea how many deaths he caused? Let me hit you with some more facts. Every time the number of articles on VFD increases Zombiebaron kills a Dolphin. Do YOU have any idea how many deaths you cause when you vote VFD? Now look. You can save a Panda with just a click of a button. Vote! That's all. On VFH. Would you rather save a Panda or kill a Dolphin? Well? Which is it? Did you know that every time you fail to answer a rhetorical question the UnSignpost is forced to kill a Panda? Our articles are dying. Look at the number of votes being devoured, not to mention articles being taken down from VFH because they mysteriously had "low health". And you all know who is causing the health to deplete? It's the Pandas Dolphins! I MUST KILL ALL OF THEM! Why? WHY? BECAUSE IF I DON'T THE WORLD MIGHT END</big?> You wouldn't try and trick me would you? They watch us, they watch us all! THE END IS COMING! The truth will find you! It found me and I'm really quite passionate about it so please, vote on VFH. If you can find the time feel free to kill the Dolphins as well. KILL THE DOLPHINS!

Check out these pages! LOL Huff and Puff Come on, own up Colin Still going From our logs: 19:44, December 21, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 hours ‎ (That's how long I was in the cell, beeeeyatch!) 18:49, December 20, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Ashishsunnywalia (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (You seem like a really lame guy. It's nothing personal.) 02:47, December 20, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.71.111.38 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (YOU'RE A LOSER! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU! A WORTHLESS LOSER! AT EVERYTHING YOU DO!) 01:24, December 17, 2011 Black flamingo11 (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.117.180.147 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (Pics or it didn't happen) 16:06, December 21, 2011 Romartus (Talk | contribs) blocked Bucknut (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Vanity Van is departing now. ) 21:14, December 16, 2011 Romartus (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.173.113.106 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Drama reverter. Stuff a turkey for a week. ) THIS BOX HAS BEEN DELIBERATELY LEFT BLANK Except for this notice, stating the box has been left blank, of course. That was put there deliberately. Of course, by putting these notices in this box, it no longer remains blank. THE BLANK BITS IN THIS BOX HAVE BEEN DELIBERATELY LEFT BLANK. THE NON-BLANK BITS HAVE BEEN DELIBERATELY NOT LEFT BLANK, BUT THERE IS NOTHING OF WORTH IN THEM ANYWAY Newsroom UnTune of the Week The Christmas Song This is Important In the spirit of laziness/the season the columns this week are of unequal lengths. Bah Humbug.

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:48, 22 December 2011

Hi Frosty

Just thought I'd let you know that when TKF closed some VFD nominations, he forgot to add the requisite templates to the talk pages for the pages which were kept. I'd do it myself, but the last time I tried to sweep up around here, Lyrithya banned me for an hour. I also would've left a message for TKF, but...his goddamned talk page is 500,000,000 bytes long. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 25 '11 15:45 (UTC)

No problem

I'll keep that in mind, had to scrap that whole section because it was completely not funny. srs business not allowed -Fatalis67

Ok cool. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:28, December 27, 2011 (UTC)

Tripped face first into a bar

Hello Frosty. This is your season! And this is a note to lots of people, asking them to join into a Walk into a bar collab (and if Iz missed you, you are more than welcome to "Walk into a bar" too!). If you want to join in, make up your best "Walk into a bar" jokes and we will have the bestest "Walk into a bar" page on the innernests! Aleister 16:00 28-12-'11

Its summmer in Australia, so not really :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:29, December 27, 2011 (UTC)

Re: The Pages I'm Following

Uh Frosty, I'm sure that this is really no big deal, but I was looking over the list of pages I was following and there was one page I wasn't following listed there. Is it a redirect, or has somebody figured out my password? Tell me, because I'm a bit freaked out. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 21:06, December 27, 2011 (UTC)

The Battle of the River Mole

Hi Frosty, prepare for some winging:

I think our new page is going to be shut down because the admin doesn't understand the parody. It's early days (three to be precise) and my friends and I are new users, but I think we have had a fairly good stab at parodying medieval history.

The admin --RomArtus*Imperator, appears to disagree with us. He thinks it's vanity, (despite only naming David Bowie, Judi Dench and made-up anglo-saxon kings), he also fears that if not vanity, it's some sort of local in-joke. I question the relevance of this, but also think that of all places for a fake medieval battle, a river in south east england seems fairly logical. If we aren't allowed to name places in England and parody them, why does New Jersey make the grade? Are we all supposed to laugh at the bizarre NY vs NJ joke? It's lost on me, I live in England.

Our disputes with the admin are on the below pages:

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Talk:Battle_of_the_River_Mole&s=wldiff&diff=0&oldid=5382371

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User_talk:Zarathustrauk

Any help will be appreciated.

Kind regards --Zarathustrauk 11:21, December 28, 2011 (UTC)

Since the above post, one of my friends has felt compelled to reference Chuck Norris in order to appease the poor taste of the admin. If we put some other low-brow crap into the article will it be allowed to stay? --Zarathustrauk 11:26, December 28, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay in responding, I'm on holidays until this Saturdy, is in I'm away :D I am answering via phone which is slow as hell out here. Ok, what you should do is tlk to Romartus and ask (politely) if he could move this article to your usersapce to work on, that way you have all the time in the world to work on it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 22:25, December 28, 2011 (UTC)