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Today's featured article Pandemonium erupted in a South-East Melbourne suburb when a homeless man wearing nothing except a beard ran wild after police attempted to give him a bath. The man, a local transient, is well known to police as a serial offender, having already been charged multiple times with loitering, affray and creating a public stench without a permit. The public ordeal, which was captured on video by amateur voyeurs, shows the man running from police after an attempted sanitary-based intervention. After escaping the clutches of local police, he assaulted several on-lookers with his malevolent odour; some of whom suffered bloody noses and required medical attention. Police then attempted to recapture the man, only to lose their tentative grasp on the naked man's soapy body. Futile attempts at spraying the man with a can of deodorant failed to subdue the stink and an observer was seen buckling over in pain after getting the deodorant in his eyes. After a brief chase, the exposed man fell over and police officers closed in to apply a healthy dose of hygiene with a few swift strikes from their cleaning sticks. However, the man refused to go down without a fight, and police officers could be seen running away from the stinky bum as he continued his dash for freedom. After several minutes of police following the man at a safe distance, the chase came to an end when the man collapsed under the weight of his own intolerable stench. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop Selected anniversaries June 13: Double Entendre Day ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
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Word of the day[edit | edit source]Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is powerful. In the news
 Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG and Stranger Things 5 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's breakup • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly Upcoming deaths: DEI • Google's ad monopoly • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? More Current Events at UnNews News Did you know...Do you care...[edit | edit source] | |||||||
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies - various causes, including Kashmir earthquake and Niger
Disasters Emergency Committee - Earthquake relief, Niger aid
UNICEF - relief for Asian earthquake (Pakistan, India, etc.)
American Red Cross - relief for Hurricane Katrina, to build a New New Orleans
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