User:Zombiebaron/MainPage

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Today's featured article


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All straight mans of every age,
Would you like to get fucking AIDS?
Have sex with us and you will see
In our town of faggotry!

This is faggotry!
This is faggotry!
Straight men scream in the dead of night.
This is faggotry!
Everybody make a scream,
AIDS and orgy till the gods gonna die in sight
It's our town, all the straight men scream,
In the town of faggotry.

I am the one having sex with your dad.
Cock with warts and eyes glowing red.

(Full article...)

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Selected anniversaries

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October 26: International Time Travel Day

  • 1822 - In theaters this summer: The Rock discovers the secret to time travel, goes back in time to kill Hitler, only to realize Hitler wasn't born yet.
  • 1921 - Highlander comes forward a billion years and impales Sean Connery on a parking meter, revenge ensues.
  • 1988 - Bill and Ted build a time machine out of a phone booth for access to space porn.
  • 1988 - Proto-Emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, avoids being killed by a time-traveling jet engine by sleeping on a golf course/is killed by a time-traveling jet engine.
  • 1994 - First Time Cop trained; turns into serial killer, but accidentally destroys own grandmother, creating a paradox called Doctor Who.


Archived Anniversaries

Word of the day[edit | edit source]

sex
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is powerful.

In the news


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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

Recent deaths: Trump's pet slothRobert RedfordU.S. Federal GovernmentJane GoodallThe Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane KeatonGaza WarDrew StruzanWindows 10D'AngeloYouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley

Upcoming deaths: DEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefsCapitalism in NYC • 2025 Major League Baseball season


Need advice? Ask Cthulhu!

More Current Events at UnNews News


Did you know...

  • ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?

Do you care...[edit | edit source]

  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?


Read More

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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