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Today's featured article Intelligent Mathematics (colloquially Intelligent Math) is the assertion that "certain features of the mathematics and numbers are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as logic and reasoning." It is a teleological proof of the existence of God. The idea was developed by a group of American theological scientists who recognise the nature of absolute truth. They have determined that modern mathematical thinking is flawed, and that science is currently feeding us false information. (Full article...) Recently featured: This page does NOT exist Bubbles the Clown Nevermind Trump vs. Biden Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries December 5: Unwanted Advertising Day (U.S.) 1897 - Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he wants you to listen to Adele's brand new album, ready for the holiday season! Her lung noises make you feel sad, give her money! 1922 - The Coca-Cola Company debuts its famous Polar Bear mascot for the holiday season! The crisp, refreshing taste of our caramelized fizz water attracts even vicious arctic predators! 1998 - 100 billionth e-mail with subject line "Viagra is food for the soul" opened: Sponsored by Viagra: Penis Yours Big Penis Women Fuck™. 1970 - British funny-makers who are very popular with 18 to 34 year old internet income dispensers make funny skit about SPAM®! What a funny sketch! Spammity-spam! Hilarity! Buy our products. 2009 - Famous Chihuahua mascot of Tex-Mex food-service provider Taco Bell, Gidget, dies after one too many lines of cocaine. The fame went to his head! Commemorate this tragedy by buying one of our Doritos Locos Tacos (in cool ranch or fiery red spicy)! 2012 - Everyone decides that it's okay to put Twitter hashtags on commercials. Is this who we are as a species? Is this the reason why God has condemned use to die? Archived Anniversaries	Word of the day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is powerful. edit In the news South Korea's president tries to order pizza, declares martial law instead Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom... and Hunter (Pictured) President-elect turkey pardons himself Trump gets away with January 6th Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix boxing match Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon! Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... only for him to pull out Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA Obama smears poop on daycare Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America 2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs" Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump dance" Recent deaths: The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • Democrat party • Tony Todd • The Chicago Bears' and Cincinnati Bengals' seasons • Boxing • The American criminal justice system Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Alabama football's championship chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay • Joe Biden • Donald Trump Need advice? Ask Cthulhu! More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ...that your baby boy would one day walk on water? Do you care... ...that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted? Read More
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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