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40,354!!1!1111! WTF ARTICLAS IN ENGLISH
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2DAYS FAATURED ARTICLE
DA TWALVA DOC2RS RAECD DOWN DA PAEL HALWAY THEYRE NU PATEINT ON A STR3TCHER ROLNG IN FRONT OF THEM!!1!1!!! OMG WTF LOL HOLD ON!1!11!1! OMG ONE WOMAN YALED JUST STAY WIT US
TH3IR!!!1! OMG PATEINT WHO WAS PRETY SURE TAHT HIS NME WAS SIMON SAT UP IN HIS BD SCRATCHAD HIS HEAD AND LOKED DOWN AT HIS SWOLAN WRIST!!11!!!11 OMG WTF UH GUYS THX VERY MUCH FOR AL THES AT3NTION BUT I THINK IT’S JUST MAH WRIST TAHT’S BROKAN!111!!1 OMG WTF LOL IT HURTS A LOT SO THX FOR TEH IV BUT I RILLY DON’T THINK U NED 2 B THES WOREID!11!1!! WTF !11!!!!11 !!!!111! OMG LOL IT SI SIMON!1!!!11!1 OMG WTF LOL HA-HA-HA!!1!111! WTF LOL YES!1111!1! OMG WTF HA HAD REMEMBRED HIS NME BUT STIL DIDNT QUIET REALIEZ TAHT TEH DOC2RS THOUGHT H3 HAD GON3 COMPLETELEY INSAEN
ON3!1!11!! LOL OF TEH MAEL DOC2RS W3ARNG A NM3 TAG TAHT RAAD DR!!1111 OMG STRANGLETHROT3R LOK3D UP DISTRACTADLEY!!!1!1!1 OMG WTF HA’S STIL TOKNG??!!?!?!! OMG I 2LD U 2 GIEV HIM MORPHIEN UNTIL H3 GO3S BLIND GU3S WUT?!!?!?! LOL BLIND PEOPL3 DON’T TOK!11!1 OMG LOL GIEV HIM.LATS!!1!!11!!!!1!!1!!1!1!11 OMG LOL SE.CARY!1111!!11111!!1111 OMG DA FOUR.UH.TWELVE-THOSAND!1!11!1!!1!11!!111 OMG WTF LOL MORE CS OF MORPHIENGOD I HAET KIDS.!!1!!1!11!!!1!1!1!1 WTF LOL" (MORA!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL)
YEST3RDAYS FAATUR3D ARTICLE
THROUGHOUT TEH HIS2RY OF 3V3RYTHNG EVER THEIR HAEV BEN QUESTIONS WHICH AROS3 TAHT PROVAD 2 B UNANSWERABL3!111!!1 WTF LOL[1] MAN HAS ALWAYS ATEMPTAD 2 UNDERSTAND NATURES PHENOM3NON AND COMPRAHAND DA WORLD AROUND HIM BUT 2 NO AVALE!!!11111! WTF THUS FAR HA HAS FOUND TAHT TEH WORLD AROUND HIM MAY B MORE COMPLEX THAN HIS TINY LITLA BRANE CUD EVER IMAGIEN!!1!!!! OMG AND SO IT SI THES3 UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS TAHT PRAS3NT THEMS3LV3S AND S3RVE AS A CONSTANT REMIND3R TAHT WE R AL EXTR3M3LEY STUPID!!!!! OMG BUT WHO GIEVS A SHIT??!!!?! LOL
THES PAEG SI NOT ABOUT SUCH A QU3STION!11111 WTF BUT TEH QUASTION HAS EXIST3D FOR HUNDR3DS OF YEARS AND UP UNTIL NOW HAS BAFLED PHILOSOPH3RS AND AEVRAEG PEOPL3 AVERYWHER3!!!!!1!!! OMG DA QUESTION IMM TOKNG ABOUT OF COURS3 SI:
"WHO GIEVS A SHIT????!!? OMG LOL"
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Did you know...
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| *... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
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In the news
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"It's for the children's own good!"
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On this day...
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July 27: StarCraft Day (Korea), Nerdery Day (Internetopia)
- 7 BC – First computer created, using a yard of string, a goat, and three partially eaten kidney beans.
- 6 BC – The first computer nerd (pictured) fixes a goat/bean compatibility issue on a local goatherd's new computer.
- 3 BC – A computer nerd/farmer has sex with his goat causing string problems and generating large amounts of upchucked kidney beans, thus creating the first computer virus.
- 0 BC – A child runs through a field and trips over a string where a vast network of stringed goats are being held. The chain reaction sets off an epidemic of bean-upchucking and goat-kicking that doesn't end until the goats are re-neutered and restringed.
- 500 – A woman proposes the use of thin strips of silicon to faciliate the use of micro-circuitry, halving computer sizes and doubling their speed. The woman is stoned to death then given a medal after being credited with the discovery of the breast implant. Male suicide rates halved.
- 666 – Steve Jobs trades his soul to Satan for StarCraft, the first game capable of running on goats tied together with string. He goes on to invent Blizzard.
- 1000 – The Y1K Bug destroys computers, causing the human race to be enslaved by toasters. Later someone pulls the plug on the toasters and the humans are freed.
- 1866 – Cyrus Field successfully completes the Atlantic Cable, thus allowing for the largest single transfer of internet porn in history.
- 1914 – British troops invade the streets of Dublin and demand free wifi.
- 1979 – Actor Penis Van Lesbian changes his name to the more acceptable Dick Van Dyke.
- 2003 – English tribute band Two Humps is formed in Nottinghamfordshire-upon-Kent, Surrey, England.
- 2007 – The finincially ailing Area 51 is forced to open its doors to the public in order to avoid bankruptcy.
- 2010 – StarCraft II is released to the public. Koreans everywhere rejoice.
- 2011 – Blizzard denies allegations that a third installment, StarCraft III, is under development. Koreans everywhere grieve.
- 2036 – StarCraft III is officially confirmed by Blizzard. Koreans everywhere rejoice.
- 2057 – The Japanese discover how to manufacture immortality out of panties and meth, and subsequently sell it from vending machines. Koreans steal the formula and take over the world.
- 2135 – StarCraft III is released. Walmart regains control of the world because Koreans are too busy playing it.
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| Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!
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Uncyclopedia Languages
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,354 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Sawblade5/Mane paeg!:
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Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
- ↑ "WUT DA M3ANNG OF LIEF?!?!!!! OMG WTF", "WHARE SI H3AEVN?!??!! LOL", "WUT WAS WIT TAHT MOVEI KOYANISQATSI??!?!!? OMG"
