User:Sawblade5/Mane paeg

WALCOME 2 UNCYCLOPADIA, TH3 CONT3NT-FRE ANCYCLOPEDIA TAHT ANYONA CAN EDIT 40,267!!1!1111! WTF ARTICLAS IN ENGLISH

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PEOPLA QUANET COERANT

SCEINCE HIS2RY AL

2DAYS FAATURED ARTICLE DA TWALVA DOC2RS RAECD DOWN DA PAEL HALWAY THEYRE NU PATEINT ON A STR3TCHER ROLNG IN FRONT OF THEM!!1!1!!! OMG WTF LOL HOLD ON!1!11!1! OMG ONE WOMAN YALED JUST STAY WIT US TH3IR!!!1! OMG PATEINT WHO WAS PRETY SURE TAHT HIS NME WAS SIMON SAT UP IN HIS BD SCRATCHAD HIS HEAD AND LOKED DOWN AT HIS SWOLAN WRIST!!11!!!11 OMG WTF UH GUYS THX VERY MUCH FOR AL THES AT3NTION BUT I THINK IT’S JUST MAH WRIST TAHT’S BROKAN!111!!1 OMG WTF LOL IT HURTS A LOT SO THX FOR TEH IV BUT I RILLY DON’T THINK U NED 2 B THES WOREID!11!1!! WTF !11!!!!11 !!!!111! OMG LOL IT SI SIMON!1!!!11!1 OMG WTF LOL HA-HA-HA!!1!111! WTF LOL YES!1111!1! OMG WTF HA HAD REMEMBRED HIS NME BUT STIL DIDNT QUIET REALIEZ TAHT TEH DOC2RS THOUGHT H3 HAD GON3 COMPLETELEY INSAEN ON3!1!11!! LOL OF TEH MAEL DOC2RS W3ARNG A NM3 TAG TAHT RAAD DR!!1111 OMG STRANGLETHROT3R LOK3D UP DISTRACTADLEY!!!1!1!1 OMG WTF HA’S STIL TOKNG??!!?!?!! OMG I 2LD U 2 GIEV HIM MORPHIEN UNTIL H3 GO3S BLIND GU3S WUT?!!?!?! LOL BLIND PEOPL3 DON’T TOK!11!1 OMG LOL GIEV HIM.LATS!!1!!11!!!!1!!1!!1!1!11 OMG LOL SE.CARY!1111!!11111!!1111 OMG DA FOUR.UH.TWELVE-THOSAND!1!11!1!!1!11!!111 OMG WTF LOL MORE CS OF MORPHIENGOD I HAET KIDS.!!1!!1!11!!!1!1!1!1 WTF LOL" (MORA!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL) RAC3NTLEY F3ATUR3D: GIEV A SHIT - DUNA - PO3TRY - UNBOKSSO UR WIEF WANTS 2 BCOME A MINIST3R (AND OTH3R SOLUTIONS 2 UR DALEY PROBLEMS) - BROTHEL - UNSCRIPTSSONG OF DA SOUTH ARCHIEV – VOTE FOR F3ATURED ARTICL3S YEST3RDAYS FAATUR3D ARTICLE THROUGHOUT TEH HIS2RY OF 3V3RYTHNG EVER THEIR HAEV BEN QUESTIONS WHICH AROS3 TAHT PROVAD 2 B UNANSWERABL3!111!!1 WTF LOL MAN HAS ALWAYS ATEMPTAD 2 UNDERSTAND NATURES PHENOM3NON AND COMPRAHAND DA WORLD AROUND HIM BUT 2 NO AVALE!!!11111! WTF THUS FAR HA HAS FOUND TAHT TEH WORLD AROUND HIM MAY B MORE COMPLEX THAN HIS TINY LITLA BRANE CUD EVER IMAGIEN!!1!!!! OMG AND SO IT SI THES3 UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS TAHT PRAS3NT THEMS3LV3S AND S3RVE AS A CONSTANT REMIND3R TAHT WE R AL EXTR3M3LEY STUPID!!!!! OMG BUT WHO GIEVS A SHIT??!!!?! LOL THES PAEG SI NOT ABOUT SUCH A QU3STION!11111 WTF BUT TEH QUASTION HAS EXIST3D FOR HUNDR3DS OF YEARS AND UP UNTIL NOW HAS BAFLED PHILOSOPH3RS AND AEVRAEG PEOPL3 AVERYWHER3!!!!!1!!! OMG DA QUESTION IMM TOKNG ABOUT OF COURS3 SI: "WHO GIEVS A SHIT????!!? OMG LOL" FEATURAD ONE YAAR AGO 2DAY THOMAS AQUINAS, FAATURED ON 29 JANUARY 208!!!1! OMG LOL SE DA F3ATURAD V3RSION!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL Did you know... *... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ...that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ...that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ...that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?

In the news The car has been in the works since February/ Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile (Pictured) Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on Trump joins in for threesome, blows load Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out Elon Musk breaks up with Trump Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime Recent deaths: Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly Stallone Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits On this day... July 3: International Hot Pocket Day 1775 – In the American Revolutionary War, George Washington goes to Cambridge, Massachusetts and takes command of the Continental Army, known for their delicious breakfasts. 1776 – The Declaration of Independence is peer reviewed. 1870 – Oscar Wilde graduates from Maudlin College, Oxford, with a double-first in Modern Classics and Flower Arranging. 1885 – "He who hath smelt it, dealt it" ruling in federal court sets new legal precedent. 1890 – The moderately severe United States Potato Shortage of the 1880s is resolved when Idaho is accepted as the 43rd U.S. state. 1978 – Conceptual artist Humphrey Crawford exhibits his piece Oil, urine and diesel on canvas (pictured). 1996 – Jeff Goldblum finally begins to figure out how to take down the aliens. 1983 – After a wild night of passion between a Pop Tart and a mediocre plate of Italian food, the Hot Pocket is conceived. Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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