User:Sawblade5/Mane paeg

WALCOME 2 UNCYCLOPADIA, TH3 CONT3NT-FRE ANCYCLOPEDIA TAHT ANYONA CAN EDIT 41,029!!1!1111! WTF ARTICLAS IN ENGLISH

POLITIS GM3S COMPUTARS

PEOPLA QUANET COERANT

SCEINCE HIS2RY AL

2DAYS FAATURED ARTICLE DA TWALVA DOC2RS RAECD DOWN DA PAEL HALWAY THEYRE NU PATEINT ON A STR3TCHER ROLNG IN FRONT OF THEM!!1!1!!! OMG WTF LOL HOLD ON!1!11!1! OMG ONE WOMAN YALED JUST STAY WIT US TH3IR!!!1! OMG PATEINT WHO WAS PRETY SURE TAHT HIS NME WAS SIMON SAT UP IN HIS BD SCRATCHAD HIS HEAD AND LOKED DOWN AT HIS SWOLAN WRIST!!11!!!11 OMG WTF UH GUYS THX VERY MUCH FOR AL THES AT3NTION BUT I THINK IT’S JUST MAH WRIST TAHT’S BROKAN!111!!1 OMG WTF LOL IT HURTS A LOT SO THX FOR TEH IV BUT I RILLY DON’T THINK U NED 2 B THES WOREID!11!1!! WTF !11!!!!11 !!!!111! OMG LOL IT SI SIMON!1!!!11!1 OMG WTF LOL HA-HA-HA!!1!111! WTF LOL YES!1111!1! OMG WTF HA HAD REMEMBRED HIS NME BUT STIL DIDNT QUIET REALIEZ TAHT TEH DOC2RS THOUGHT H3 HAD GON3 COMPLETELEY INSAEN ON3!1!11!! LOL OF TEH MAEL DOC2RS W3ARNG A NM3 TAG TAHT RAAD DR!!1111 OMG STRANGLETHROT3R LOK3D UP DISTRACTADLEY!!!1!1!1 OMG WTF HA’S STIL TOKNG??!!?!?!! OMG I 2LD U 2 GIEV HIM MORPHIEN UNTIL H3 GO3S BLIND GU3S WUT?!!?!?! LOL BLIND PEOPL3 DON’T TOK!11!1 OMG LOL GIEV HIM.LATS!!1!!11!!!!1!!1!!1!1!11 OMG LOL SE.CARY!1111!!11111!!1111 OMG DA FOUR.UH.TWELVE-THOSAND!1!11!1!!1!11!!111 OMG WTF LOL MORE CS OF MORPHIENGOD I HAET KIDS.!!1!!1!11!!!1!1!1!1 WTF LOL" (MORA!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL) RAC3NTLEY F3ATUR3D: GIEV A SHIT - DUNA - PO3TRY - UNBOKSSO UR WIEF WANTS 2 BCOME A MINIST3R (AND OTH3R SOLUTIONS 2 UR DALEY PROBLEMS) - BROTHEL - UNSCRIPTSSONG OF DA SOUTH ARCHIEV – VOTE FOR F3ATURED ARTICL3S YEST3RDAYS FAATUR3D ARTICLE THROUGHOUT TEH HIS2RY OF 3V3RYTHNG EVER THEIR HAEV BEN QUESTIONS WHICH AROS3 TAHT PROVAD 2 B UNANSWERABL3!111!!1 WTF LOL MAN HAS ALWAYS ATEMPTAD 2 UNDERSTAND NATURES PHENOM3NON AND COMPRAHAND DA WORLD AROUND HIM BUT 2 NO AVALE!!!11111! WTF THUS FAR HA HAS FOUND TAHT TEH WORLD AROUND HIM MAY B MORE COMPLEX THAN HIS TINY LITLA BRANE CUD EVER IMAGIEN!!1!!!! OMG AND SO IT SI THES3 UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS TAHT PRAS3NT THEMS3LV3S AND S3RVE AS A CONSTANT REMIND3R TAHT WE R AL EXTR3M3LEY STUPID!!!!! OMG BUT WHO GIEVS A SHIT??!!!?! LOL THES PAEG SI NOT ABOUT SUCH A QU3STION!11111 WTF BUT TEH QUASTION HAS EXIST3D FOR HUNDR3DS OF YEARS AND UP UNTIL NOW HAS BAFLED PHILOSOPH3RS AND AEVRAEG PEOPL3 AVERYWHER3!!!!!1!!! OMG DA QUESTION IMM TOKNG ABOUT OF COURS3 SI: "WHO GIEVS A SHIT????!!? OMG LOL" FEATURAD ONE YAAR AGO 2DAY THOMAS AQUINAS, FAATURED ON 29 JANUARY 208!!!1! OMG LOL SE DA F3ATURAD V3RSION!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL Did you know... ... I burning your dog? (Pictured) ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him? ... that I am Batman? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand? ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends! ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave? ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... I burning your dog? (Pictured) ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him? ... that I am Batman? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand? ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends! ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave? ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... I burning your dog? (Pictured) ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him? ... that I am Batman? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand? ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends! ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave? ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... I burning your dog? (Pictured) ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him? ... that I am Batman? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand? ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?

In the news He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico On this day... February 26: Famous Last Words Day 323 BC - “You assholes better not split up my Empire right after I die.” – Alexander the Great 1642 - “Sticking up for your beliefs ain't worth it kids.” – Galileo Galilei 1900 - “I should probably say something clever and biting yet also moving and oh shit my spleen.” – Oscar Wilde 1945 - “I can't move my legs, oh God I can't move my legs! Nah, I'm just fucking with you.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt 1955 - “Oh Scheiße, meine windel ist voll! Oh Gott, ich spüre, wie die wässrigen Poop-Flüssigkeiten meine hose hinunterrinnen.” – Albert Einstein 1963 - “Feels kinda stuffy, let's take down the roof of the car, will ya?” – John F. Kennedy 1968 - “Maybe there's still hope for white people after all.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. 1994 - “I still don't get why they called me tricky dick. My name's Richard, not tricky.” – Richard Nixon 2001 - “Goddamnit, maybe that seatbelt was a good idea after all.” – Dale Earnhardt 2025 - “Alright, time to pull out this pack of ciggies-- now, which kind of petrol did I need?” – You Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Jesus! Only 2 days left to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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