User:Sawblade5/Mane paeg

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WALCOME 2 UNCYCLOPADIA,
40,531!!1!1111! WTF ARTICLAS IN ENGLISH

BGINERS GUIED · TEH BIG FIEV · STYLE · QUASTIONS · H3LP · DONATIONS

CAETGOREIS · FAATURED CONTENT · A–Z IND3X

2DAYS FAATURED ARTICLE

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DA TWALVA DOC2RS RAECD DOWN DA PAEL HALWAY THEYRE NU PATEINT ON A STR3TCHER ROLNG IN FRONT OF THEM!!1!1!!! OMG WTF LOL HOLD ON!1!11!1! OMG ONE WOMAN YALED JUST STAY WIT US

TH3IR!!!1! OMG PATEINT WHO WAS PRETY SURE TAHT HIS NME WAS SIMON SAT UP IN HIS BD SCRATCHAD HIS HEAD AND LOKED DOWN AT HIS SWOLAN WRIST!!11!!!11 OMG WTF UH GUYS THX VERY MUCH FOR AL THES AT3NTION BUT I THINK IT’S JUST MAH WRIST TAHT’S BROKAN!111!!1 OMG WTF LOL IT HURTS A LOT SO THX FOR TEH IV BUT I RILLY DON’T THINK U NED 2 B THES WOREID!11!1!! WTF !11!!!!11 !!!!111! OMG LOL IT SI SIMON!1!!!11!1 OMG WTF LOL HA-HA-HA!!1!111! WTF LOL YES!1111!1! OMG WTF HA HAD REMEMBRED HIS NME BUT STIL DIDNT QUIET REALIEZ TAHT TEH DOC2RS THOUGHT H3 HAD GON3 COMPLETELEY INSAEN

ON3!1!11!! LOL OF TEH MAEL DOC2RS W3ARNG A NM3 TAG TAHT RAAD DR!!1111 OMG STRANGLETHROT3R LOK3D UP DISTRACTADLEY!!!1!1!1 OMG WTF HA’S STIL TOKNG??!!?!?!! OMG I 2LD U 2 GIEV HIM MORPHIEN UNTIL H3 GO3S BLIND GU3S WUT?!!?!?! LOL BLIND PEOPL3 DON’T TOK!11!1 OMG LOL GIEV HIM.LATS!!1!!11!!!!1!!1!!1!1!11 OMG LOL SE.CARY!1111!!11111!!1111 OMG DA FOUR.UH.TWELVE-THOSAND!1!11!1!!1!11!!111 OMG WTF LOL MORE CS OF MORPHIENGOD I HAET KIDS.!!1!!1!11!!!1!1!1!1 WTF LOL" (MORA!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL)

YEST3RDAYS FAATUR3D ARTICLE

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THROUGHOUT TEH HIS2RY OF 3V3RYTHNG EVER THEIR HAEV BEN QUESTIONS WHICH AROS3 TAHT PROVAD 2 B UNANSWERABL3!111!!1 WTF LOL[1] MAN HAS ALWAYS ATEMPTAD 2 UNDERSTAND NATURES PHENOM3NON AND COMPRAHAND DA WORLD AROUND HIM BUT 2 NO AVALE!!!11111! WTF THUS FAR HA HAS FOUND TAHT TEH WORLD AROUND HIM MAY B MORE COMPLEX THAN HIS TINY LITLA BRANE CUD EVER IMAGIEN!!1!!!! OMG AND SO IT SI THES3 UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS TAHT PRAS3NT THEMS3LV3S AND S3RVE AS A CONSTANT REMIND3R TAHT WE R AL EXTR3M3LEY STUPID!!!!! OMG BUT WHO GIEVS A SHIT??!!!?! LOL

THES PAEG SI NOT ABOUT SUCH A QU3STION!11111 WTF BUT TEH QUASTION HAS EXIST3D FOR HUNDR3DS OF YEARS AND UP UNTIL NOW HAS BAFLED PHILOSOPH3RS AND AEVRAEG PEOPL3 AVERYWHER3!!!!!1!!! OMG DA QUESTION IMM TOKNG ABOUT OF COURS3 SI:

"WHO GIEVS A SHIT????!!? OMG LOL"

FEATURAD ONE YAAR AGO 2DAY

Featured.png THOMAS AQUINAS, FAATURED ON 29 JANUARY 208!!!1! OMG LOL SE DA F3ATURAD V3RSION!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL

Did you know...

*... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
  • ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
  • ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
  • ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
  • ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
  • ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
  • ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?

In the news

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Trump pictured holding up his project in front of his friends. They're all delighted.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Bill Cosby's TV sonOzzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBARCartoon Network/Adult Swim/Toonami on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp

Upcoming deaths: DEIPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid GameMAGAJoe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates • Comcast

On this day...

FOR THE KING

August 19: Battle of Knockdoe Day

  • 1501 - The de Burghs and Fitzgeralds agree to have a glorious battle in Knockdoe next year.
  • 1502 - Ulick Burke too hung over to remember what day it is; Gerald Fitzgerald "super pissed" that he didn't show up.
  • 1503 - Gerald Fitzgerald too hung over to attend the battle; Ulick Burke calls him a damn hypocrite.
  • 1504 - The Battle of Knockdoe: a bunch of Normans and Irish chop each other to pieces, probably forever altering English history or something.
  • 1919 - Afghanistan gains independence from the United Kingdom, bringing an end to the Second Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1952 - Jonathan Frakes, actor who portrayed William Riker, born in order to commemorate the 448th anniversary of the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1991 - Collapse of the Soviet Union: Mikhail Gorbachev placed under house arrest while watching docudrama about the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 2005 - Lonely tourist kisses the Blarney Stone, ends up in extended makeout session.
  • 2010 - The parish of Lackagh, former site of the Battle of Knockdoe, found to be infested with stinking drunken Irishmen.
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

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Artist representation of the famous Charge of the Chainsaw Brigade, a pivotal moment on the road to victory which demonstrated the wisdom of bringing Canadian lumberjacks into the war.

Image credit: Asahatter
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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


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  1. "WUT DA M3ANNG OF LIEF?!?!!!! OMG WTF", "WHARE SI H3AEVN?!??!! LOL", "WUT WAS WIT TAHT MOVEI KOYANISQATSI??!?!!? OMG"