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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. Sophia has inspired us to work on 40,588 articles since opening in January 2005. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent | ![]() A typical terrorist weapon - note that it is readily assembled from everyday household materials Vote for featured images » |
Today's Featured ArticleA hardboard has revealed that it suffered abuse at the hands of Rolf Harris for many years, frequently being "made to wobble" on television against its will. "He promised me a life in showbiz," the board told us, "and my eyes lit up. I had always been ambitious about my future. I didn't want to spend my whole life in the factory – the factory where I was made I mean. I wanted to be part of something big, perhaps a table or a cabinet. When Rolf said he was going to make me a star on stage, I thought he meant as part of the background scenery." Instead, the board revealed, Harris subjected it to decades of humiliating abuse, carrying it on stage in his licentious, hairy arms and "wobbling" it for his own and the crowd's enjoyment. "I never told anyone because I didn't think people would believe me. I just used to freeze and go stiff as a ... well, as stiff as a board when he grabbed ahold of me, but unfortunately that just made the sound even more effective." (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Selected anniversariesAugust 28: International Horniness Day.
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Writer and Noob of the MonthHoly cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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