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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. Sophia has inspired us to work on 40,447 articles since opening in January 2005. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

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Today's Featured Article In mid-2005, Satan had started to publicly question and denounce Tyson's recognition as the "Baddest Man on the Planet." When Tyson learned of this via an interview, Tyson grinned at the camera. Soon after this interview, Tyson challenged Satan to a professional boxing match in order to see "who the baddetht man of the planet really ith." Satan accepted and arranged for the fight to happen in Hell. For Tyson this fight was for all the marbles: lose, and his soul would be damned to Hell; win, and his soul would be taken into the Kingdom of Heaven.(Full article...) Recently featured: Satan vs. Tyson A Splode Water UnNews:Canada's international reputation wreck found in the Arctic Ocean Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit Selected anniversaries August 3: Vague Day: Way too long ago – Some large lizards were forgotten off the face of the earth... or something... A long time ago – Some guy was born. A little more recent – Some guy did something important. The guy with the hair. hmmm – Uh... dang... <pffft> Way back when – The guy who wears clothes invented that thing that people use. A while ago – Two countries started a war. You know, that famous one with that big battle where a bunch of people died. I can't quite recall – I think there was a battle. Back before I was born – Some guy became the leader of some country. In the good old days – France was invaded by a certain foreign power. Sometime – Some lady called and left a message. That one time, at band camp – Some rich dude went and did something or other to this one website Then – Some famous guy or Some famous lady did something funny. The other day – Someone did something. The Other Other Day – this guy did something amazing A little later – This other guy went somewhere At some point – This one guy may or may not have done something that might be considered noteworthy in some circles. Like, whenEVER – 'kay, like you remember that guy from the commercial with the, um, thing on his head? No, the OTHER one. Well, he gets shot I think, no, actually I meant assaulted in some way, by some other guy, or girl, and it's was sooooo all over the TV, or radio? I guess it took place somewhere. Not too long ago – Poor people demolish a wall to create a bit more living space somewhere. Around 1995 – That TV show is cancelled. You know, the one with that guy, always wore a shirt... c'mon, help me out here. Y'know, that day – That guy, with the hat, and that other guy, they do those things they do, y'know, with the monkey, and the bar, and that hat they always used in the ... the uh, commercials. Two days before the Day after Tommorrow – Your Mom did something that she usually only does on Saturday nights up at Nob Hill. When was it again? – People could vaguely remember when is Vague Day Around that one time – You vaguely remember what happened that one night. A long time from now in a galaxy far, far away – Some dude invents some thing that does something that for some reason makes him meet some alien race somewhere. Sometime between the beginning and end of time – someone avoids direct answer Just recently – This joke about being vague got really old. around nowish – Something about something vague was vaguely reborn like that one guy long ago. Archived Anniversaries	edit In the news "It's for the children's own good!" Trump fires Zakk Wylde Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione" Epstein list predictions Starmer bans pornography nationwide (Pictured) Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!" Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Lawyer is unable to remember what the trial is about, defendant is convicted of burglary Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons: ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? Read More
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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