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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. Sophia has inspired us to work on 41,099 articles since opening in January 2005. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

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Today's Featured Article Rob Gronkowski, also known as "Gronky Kong", is tall guy who once play American football, now is tall funny guy make appearance on TV. Gronk have play as tight end, no make into wide receiver. Gronk have perverted sense of humor, you see. Hahaha, 69! Gronk have play for team with Tom Brady, namely New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, play so hard against hometown team Buffalo Bills due to Bills dinosaur owner no pick Gronk. Gronk mad. Gronk is crazy party animal, like party so much he use beer keg for wash bodyyyyyy. Gronk say no eat TIE PODS, but sometimes he no resist, due to TIE PODS is colorful like candyyyyy. TIDE POD yucky though, Gronk just eat to look cool. Despite Gronk now hated in hometown of Buffalo, New York due to angry GRONK SMASH on Tre White, he still more likeable by light years than dummy ex-teammate Aaron Hernandez, who was angry gangster go kill people. Gronk one of few people who no get CTE from play football, but BORN with CTE, along with Cam Skattebo. Therefore being born with CTE, Gronk always nuts, but awesome. (Full article...) Recently featured: Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Osu! Maxipad Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit Selected anniversaries February 3: Fuck a Groundhog Day 1834 - Wheeling Jesuit University is founded, alumni annoys everyone they meet by complaining about Wheeling Jesuit University. 1870 - The Fifteenth Amendment is ratified, guaranteeing voting rights for all people in about ninety or so years. 1933 - Adolf Hitler steals Austria, other Europeans demand he gives it back, but he covers his ears and goes "nananana." 1966 - The Soviet Union hides people inside tiny compartments to operate probes which land on moon. 1993 - Bill Murray finally escapes from a 10,000 year long time loop, will have to live with the knowledge he has fucked a groundhog at least twelve times. 1995 - First woman to pilot a Space Shuttle accidentally lands it on Europa, a moon on Jupiter. Archived Anniversaries	edit In the news Too bad you can't customize this in the original. Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April (Pictured) Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • Some big shot musical award • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota Recent deaths: The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont Not dead: Eleven Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons: ... that I think you know what's happening today? Read More
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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