Babel:Fp

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"Sorry I'm closing" he said.

"Not until you've seen our audition" said the father.

"Come tomorrow in the morning"

"By tomorrow you'll have lost the most sensational variety show ever to blow people's faces off".

"Okay...you've got 5 minutes" said the talent agent.(Full article...)

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Selected anniversaries

Red states voted for Bush while blue states voted for Hussein. People in Yellow states threw their votes away by voting for Ross Perot.

November 4: Artificial Limb Awareness Diurnal Period

  • 200 - Oedipus: One Bad Mothafucka released by Mythic Records, goes triple platinum.
  • 1600 and something - Descartes decides the mind is separate from the body, through logical reasoning and skeptical doubt.
  • 2001 - God wins Mega-Ball lottery. Fix suspected.
  • 2009 - List of people who steal lists is stolen.
  • 2012 - Mexicans win gold, silver, and bronze in Olympic Lawn-mowing.


Archived Anniversaries

Word of the day

orgasm
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.

In the news


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Not my baby!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Showdown in NYC between Mamdani the Commie, The Andrew Formerly Known as Governor, and a Republican cat man

Recent deaths: Trump's pet slothRobert RedfordU.S. Federal GovernmentJane GoodallDiane KeatonGaza WarDrew StruzanWindows 10D'AngeloYouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISSJune LockhartNick MangoldJamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna GodchauxDiane Ladd

Upcoming deaths: DEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefsCapitalism in NYC • Blue Jays fans' livers


More Current Events at UnNews News


Did you know...

Do you care...

  • ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?


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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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