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Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden, billed as Capitol Punishment, was an undisputed president-elect championship boxing match between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. It took place on Tuesday, November 6, 2020, on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, D.C. The South Lawn was briefly renamed the "Presidential Lawn" for the fight. It sounds fancier.

The fight is often regarded as the biggest moment in American politics history, and arguably the most publicized sporting event of all time. It's estimated that the total viewership for this fight was 3.7 billion. It was the first time two presidents ever fought each other with their fists and not their words.

The bout was highly anticipated by many people all over the globe, including American citizens that were non-sports fans and also weren't into politics.

Biden won in ten rounds by knockout. Trump dealt with the backlash that came from getting his ass beat. The criticism and insults online caused Trump to deactivate all his accounts on social media temporarily. (Full article...)

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Selected anniversaries

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November 20: Sophia Day

  • 10,000 BC - Sophia, the Greek Goddess of Wisdom, invents boobs, which are like an ass, but on the front this time.
  • 500 BC - Greeks invent philosophy, made from the words "philos" meaning love, and "sofia", which means Sophia Loren.
  • 403 - The Hagia Sohpia, known for its majestic curves and giant stonking domes, is completed in Constantinople.
  • 1917 - World War I: Battle of Cambrai: The Allies make surprise attack on the German Trenches, a young Adolf Hitler is caught jerking off to pictures of sheep at the barracks.
  • 1970 - Sophia Loren wins the Academy Award for Best Actress For Life, for a candid home video which was mistakenly submitted to the Academy.


Archived Anniversaries

Word of the day

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Kim Kardashian gets ready for a facial

Ongoing: Eurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael-Hamas conflictUnited States presidential election aftermathNBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump dance"
Recent deaths: Quincy JonesThe Most Mysterious Song on the InternetDemocrat partyTony Todd • The Dallas Cowboys' and New York Jets' seasons • Boxing
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir PutinKate Middleton • The Chicago Bears' and Cincinnati Bengals' playoff chances • Noam ChomskyGoogle as a monopoly • ColdplayJoe BidenDonald Trump


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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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