Nissan

Nissan is a absolutely horrendous and rancid car manufacturer from Japan, notable for being one of Japan's be three automakers, which also include Toyota and Honda, as well as being one of the only Japanese manufacturers that can make people cry, the other being Mitsubishi, which it fittingly is partnered with.

History

Nissan was founded 1958 as a noodle company originally called Nissin, primarily known for producing microwavable ramen noodles for white college girls. However, the founder then decided to rename his company "Nissan" because "Nissin" sounds stupid, and decided to start making cars instead because cars are much cooler and faster than dumb old ramen. Unsurprisingly, most of these cars are driven by white college girls. Also old people. Lots and lots of old people.

For some reason, Nissan decided to form an alliance with French automaker Renault, also known for making terrible-class cars. Mitsubishi, undoubtedly also a terrible car manufacturer, decided to scoot it's way in too. Today, this alliance stands as one of the world's most unreliable car groups, second from the shitshow Stellantis are all involved in.

Vehicles

Good Nissan??? (Still overrated though)

Nissan makes one, maybe two at max, good cars, which is the GT-R, known for being old as shit but still a quite nice new-looking car. Nissan has also produced the Skyline, the GT-R's granddaddy, which sadly today is sold as just a crappy Infiniti with Nissan badges in Japan. Other models include the Altima, a sedan for old people who don't know how to drive; the Rogue, a generic compact SUV for white single moms; and the Versa, which in fact is not versatile at all and is just a trashy little subcompact sedan. Outside of North America, Nissan also has sold the Almera in the United Kingdom, popularly driven by chavs in road rage videos on YouChube.

Aside from shitty cars, Nissan also sells shitty commercial vehicles. Around the world, Nissan markets its NV vans, NT trucks, and NP pickups, all named after the great mythical lands of Nevada, Nunavut, and Nepal respectively.

Subsidiaries

Nissan currently owns the following brands:

• Datsun, originally founded as Nissan with a cooler name, discontinued, then reintroduced to countries such as India, Indonesia, and Lebanon among other countries that I would not want to live in to be enjoyed upon many Ahmeds around the world.
• Infiniti, Nissan's polished trash luxury brand to compete with other Japanese luxury brands such as Toyota's Acura and Honda's Lexus, primarily bought by black people.
• Nismo, a "performance" sub-brand which sells Nissans with red trims and black wheels. Though fast, these cars can still be found along the side of a freeway with flairs.

Comprehensive Automotive Reference Source

This article is part of the Wonderful Japan series