Nagasaki

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Fourhorsemen2.jpg
The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

Pestilence
                 War

Death
               Famine

“There are Christians there? Fuck it, they’re still Japs.”

~ President Truman, August 1945

Nagasaki (population 0) was the southernmost major port in Japan, on the west side of the island of Kyushu. The city was named for drunk snakes (nagas full of saki), which were frequently eaten by the locals, which explains why they suddenly liked Dutch traders). It became unique as the only city in the country with a majority Christian population, due to the spread of Catholicism by 16th-century Dutch traders (who thought they were spreading Protestantism, but had the wrong books with them). The Dutch were particularly distraught by the violence of ruling warlords, and wished to educate the heathen with Christian values of love and peace so that they would learn, in time, to avoid the ravages of war.

Nagasaki as a port of call[edit | edit source]

The first contact with the Portuguese happened in 1543.  An early visitor was a Portuguese explorer who came from Portugal, weirdly enough. Like a bad rash, Portuguese ships started spreading into Japan regularly.  Japan had previously cut off its ties with China because they were pouting.  The Chinese had called Japan “tiny”, and the Japanese were sensitive about their proportions.  The Portuguese now served as go-betweens between the Japan and China, for a small fee of course.

Spanish Jesuit missionaries arrived in Japan in 1549.   The Japanese, fond of the missionary’s position, allowed them to stay in Japan. In 1569, the Daimyo of the Nagasaki region granted a permit for the establishment of a port for harboring Portuguese ships in Nagasaki.  The port was completed in 1571, under the supervision of the Jesuit missionaries.

The little harbor village quickly grew into a diverse port city, and Portuguese products imported through Nagasaki (such as tobacco, bread, textiles, cocaine and bootlegged DVD’s). Many of these being assimilated into popular Japanese culture. Tempura derived from a popular Portuguese recipe and takes its name from the Portuguese word, 'tempero,' seasoning, and refers to the 'tempora quadragesima', forty days of Lent during which masturbation is forbidden. The Portuguese also brought with them many goods from other Asian countries such as China, leading to the rise of dollar stores.  For a brief period after 1580, the city of Nagasaki was a Jesuit colony, under their administrative and military control.  It became a refuge for Christians escaping abuse in other regions of Japan, where they could abuse themselves.  

In 1596, a Spanish ship was wrecked off the coast of Shikoku, and Toyotomi Hideyoshi learned from its captain that the Spanish were the start of a Spanish invasion of Japan (at least that’s what the Portuguese translators told them).  In response, Hideyoshi ordered twenty-six Catholics to be strung up like piñatas in Nagasaki.  Portuguese traders were not punished however, and so the city continued to thrive.

When Tokugawa Ieyasu took power in 1603, Catholicism was still tolerated.  In addition, the Dutch and English presence allowed trade without religious strings attached, largely due to his bromance with William Adams.  

In 1614, when the new Shogun tired of the missionary position, Catholicism was officially banned and all missionaries ordered to leave, for real this time. The Portuguese had previously been living on a specially constructed artificial island in Nagasaki harbour that served as a trading post, called Dejima. With this new edict they were expelled from Japan completely. The Dutch were then moved from their base at Hirado onto the artificial island, where Dutch trade was strictly controlled.

Madame Butterfly[edit | edit source]

The city also became famous as the setting for the opera Madame Butterfly, about a young Japanese woman who is abandoned by her American husband. The man leaves her and their child, then later returns to Nagasaki and takes the child away. Madame Butterfly dies repeatedly – literally by her own hand, to wit her knuckles as used by Curly of the Three Stooges.

Fat Man[edit | edit source]

A different kind of butterfly, more carnivorous, flew over the city at 11:01 a.m. on August 9, 1945, with Fat Man in its talons. This man was not related in any way to Harry Truman (nor, apparently, was anyone living in the city); nonetheless Truman did not send the fatso plunging to his death without due consideration (after all, he was the offspring of Americans). Truman always calculated with military precision: he determined that if the Japanese did not surrender within 4487 minutes of the bombing of Hiroshima, they would need greater persuasion. There was no point in waiting 5000 or possibly 10 000 minutes to give the Emperor more time to surrender; and the weather would be overcast the next five days, which would mean a long time for the citizens of America to suffer in anxiety wondering whether the war would end.

Likewise, Truman calculated that a city with precisely the population of Nagasaki would have to be sacrificed: a smaller location might not be so awe-inspiring. He would not sacrifice one more life than was necessary to bring about surrender. American presidents, like their sailors, are always concerned with the effects their actions might have on people of other nationalities. Furthermore, there was a Mitsubishi shipyard in Nagasaki, and Japanese ships were killing hundreds of Americans.

Fat Man came to his end at precisely 11:02 a.m., along with thousands of other fat people, and thin ones as well. The citizens of Nagasaki had been living their ordinary lives, getting into pointless power struggles and arguments over the sushi and good (but now radioactive) Hiroshimese dishes of seppuku, not thinking about the pointlessness of pettiness in relationships. At 10:58 Tomoko Hakata had been scolding her daughter for irritating her with yet another whining episode, not fully appreciating that the child was trying to express something the mother had too often overlooked. By 10:59 Keiichi Morisato had broken up with Haruhi Suzumiya over a bad anime plot and rejoined his old flame, Belldandy. By 11:00 Keiji Mataroshi had slapped his best friend Hiroyoshi Shuya for interrupting him with a question that, unfortunately, Keiji did not wait long enough to hear. Shuya felt bad about the incident, but they would make up tomorrow, when he would have an opportunity to ask the important question again.

Aftermath[edit | edit source]

School's out. Where did the children go?

There was nothing after math in Nagasaki. Nor was there anything after science: science had ended everything. Geography was cancelled after science. Only history continued, elsewhere: the Emperor of Japan surrendered once he had a guarantee that he would remain monarch. Truman was re-elected by a grateful (American) public. The Americans and Soviets built 65 000 more, much more powerful Fat Men, in order to prevent war. 100 or 500 or 1000 Fat People were not enough to deter the other side. The Japanese believed that two would be more than enough.

Thousands of paper cranes were made by ordinary Japanese people, to help each victim recover from radioactive fallout. The crane-makers understood the importance of every life: Nagasaki reminded them of Madame Butterfly's tragedy at the hands of an unsympathetic military man. The opera was just a story, but the people of Nagasaki had understood all along that truth was much stranger than fiction.