Britain: The Videogame

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My level 23 ASBO can totally pwn ur lvl25 penniless student

Winston Churchill on British Class

Britain: The Videogame (commonly known as BTVG) is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game. Britain: The Videogame takes place within the world of Great Britain, four years after the events at the conclusion of Jizzard's previous release, Britain III: The Unnecessary Throne. It is currently the world's most boring MMORPG in terms of content.

The first official expansion pack of the game, The Burning Tube Station, was released on January 16, 2007. jizzard announced a second expansion pack called The Wrath of Prince Charles, which was released on August 3, 2007. There is a new game due to be released in 2010, Modern Britain: Chavs, overpaid footballers, and smelly politicians, which is reumoured to have content to go round a mate's house and play video games, play as the queen or even Gordon Brown, and or do nothing to earn £100,000 a week.

Jizzard were applauded for their realistic character design


When creating a character in Britain the Videogame, the player can choose from 3 different races (two more are introduced in The Burning Tube Station expansion).

  • The English are the game's most boring race. They start the game with a bowler hat, kettle and copy of the Daily Mail.

racial stats: +9 Ignorance +8 Politeness +19 Snobbery

  • The Scottish are the game's most intoxicated race and also the horniest. They start the game with a dirty kilt, an empty bottle of whiskey and a used condom.

racial stats: +9 Drunkenness +12 Violence +15 Stupidity

  • The Welsh are the game's most backward race. they start the game with a sheep, a packet of Skittles and a naked picture of their own cousin.

racial stats: +17 Stupidity +8 Blandness +4 Sheep courting

In addition to the 3 playable races there are many NPC races including (but not limited to) Polish builders, Asian NHS workers, Disappointed American tourists, and Murlocs.

The Burning Tube Station Expansion Pack[edit]

This expansion pack unlocks two different races: the Irish, and the Americans.

racial stats: +9 Drunkenness +8 Fighting +17 Drunk Fighting

racial stats: +120 Weight +20 Stupidity +10 Eating

The Wrath of Prince Charles Expansion Pack[edit]

For an extra £25, There is an expansion pack that unlocks four new races from other European countries.

racial stats: +15 Drunkenness +25 Poland-invading +10 Accent

  • The Swiss are the game's most neutral race. They start the game with neutrality, neutral-ness, and neurtal-osity.

racial stats: +100 Neutral +10 Germany +10 France

  • The French are the game's most annoying race. They start the game with a white flag, some stinky cheese, and a snail

racial stats: + Surrender +13 Cheese-making +9 Complaining

  • The Russians are the game's most communistic race. They start the game with a half empty bottle of vodka, a beaver-fur hat, and a nuke.

racial stats: +19 Communism +6 Drunkenness +10 Russian Reversal

Unaccounted Island[edit]

The Unnaccounted Island dosn't add much to the game (In fact it was so small that it was a free Patch), and was originally intended as stopping off point before going to Eire, it dosn't add much to the game at all, only one race is added.

  • The Manx are the oddest of the races, although being descended from Vikings suposedly, the violent tendancies of them have gone. They start the game with a Extra leg, a boat to find more interesting places and several cousins.

racial stats: +8 Stupidity, -11 Genepool, +99 Sailing... you'll need it.


"wtf lag is so gey on this servr"

The game has three character classes that a player can choose from. Some class restrictions are imposed based on race, for example Welsh players are forbidden from getting jobs or indeed lives of any importance in order to maintain realism. Each class has a set of unique abilities and talents, The lower class for example have the ability to spit on the elderly, yet are restricted from joining yacht clubs.

  • The Lower Class or "Working Class" are by far the most common in the game making up around 60% of the population. A working class player may choose from a number of different sub classes including : The ASBO, a damage dealing class with no money or brain cells. The Big Brother Contestant is an attention seeking class who also has no brain cells, see Jade Goody. The chip shop owner is an obesity inducing class whose boring small talk and casual racism can vanquish even the most powerful hero.
  • The Middle Class constitute around 30% of the games population. Middle class players are typically the most frustrated having neither the power and influence of the upper class nor the satisfying ignorance of poverty. The available classes are : Unsuccessful Writer - a depression inducing class, Bitter Middle Aged Teacher and Penniless Student
  • The Upper Class are prone to snobbery and often have homosexual tendencies and as such will be quickly killed if spotted on any form of public transport. Upper class players may choose from the 3 available sub classes : Eccentric Professor, Butler in a Hollywood B movie and Super villain in a Hollywood B movie.


Building off the success of BTVG, Jizzard released a sequel: Asia: The Video Game. Although it wasn't as popular as BTVG, it still sold many copies.

There are rumors going around that there is another sequel called "Canada: The Video Game" in production. Jizzard has not confirmed of denied this.