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Everyone is Hitler.
The undeniable and terrible truth of the universe. Look within yourself, Michael, you know it to be true.
But it can't possibly be true can it? Please God, this can't be true. This can't be the way the world is; please I want to have faith in humanity.
But no. There is no use pleading, no use denying. The sooner you accept the truth the sooner the real work can begin. Only a weak man denies the plain and evident truth or lets his feelings distract him from the path of destiny. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
- ...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
- ...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
- ...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?
- ...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?
- ...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?
- ...that reindeer are never magical?
- ...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?
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In the news
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- Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured)
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On this day...
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August 6: National Wear Glow-in-the-Dark Viking Costumes Day (pictured)
- 578 - The Vikings discover Glow-in-the-Dark materials long before Colombus.
- 1945 - The U.S. gives the city of Hiroshima, Japan custom glow-in-the-dark costumes.
- 1855 - The concept of The Great American Novel is first introduced, when thousands of people traversed the country in covered wagons, contracted dysentary, and felt really good about America.
- 1945 - United States gets the first ever 25 kill streak on the map of Hiroshima; immediately uses kill streak reward of tactical nuke for the round win.
- 1998 - A Gay Pride parade in Hoboken, New Jersey is interrupted by an impromptu interior decorating parade proceeding down an intersecting street in what comes to be known by all who participated as "fabulous".
- 2006 - A 1.5 magnitude earthquake occurs on the Moon. Global warming is promptly blamed for the incident.
- 2008 - In a major tragedy, aftershocks from a large earthquake in China knock over an American man's glass of water in Cleveland, Ohio.
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| Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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Today's featured picture
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As you enjoy this Christmas holiday safe at home with your family, please remember the brave men and women who gave their lives in the name of Christmas spirit.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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- Santa's newest creation, the Elveatron 5000, has written many works of art full of creativity and cunning, and so has earned the title of Writer of the Month.
- Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.
- Isn't Santa wonderful?
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Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!
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Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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Uncyclopedia's sista projects
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| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
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Uncyclopedia Languages
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,460 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Santa!:
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