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“Fools make a mock-at-sin: but among the righteous there is favour.”
THE COLOR OF THE GODS • THE HUE OF SALVATION • THE SECRET TO IMMORTALITY • THE BEGINNING AND END OF ALL THAT IS INSANE • THE FUCKING OF THE BATS (#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)
MOCCASINS ARE BEIGNESS AND BEIGNESS IS MOCCASINS • MOCASSINGS PROTECT ALL THAT IS HOLY AND YOUR FAMILY HONOUR • LIVE FOREVER IN YOUR MOCCASINS • THE MOCASSIN IS ALPHA AND THE MOCASSIN IS OMEGA • MOCASSIN EXCEPTIONALISM IMPERMEATES THE FABRIC OF TIME AND SPACE • (#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)
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Did you know...
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- ...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
- ...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
- ...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
- ...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?
- ...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?
- ...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?
- ...that reindeer are never magical?
- ...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?
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In the news
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- Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured)
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On this day...
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November 15: Rock Your Mocs Day
- 1491 - Christopher Columbus arrives at the New World, only to be told that he is a year early.
- 1533 - Francisco Pizarro arrives in Cuzco, Peru. He notices that the iguanas have unusually piercing stares.
- 1726 - Shenandoah, Chief of the Oneida Indians, invents a new type of footwear, made of deerskin leather stitched into a soft shoe. (Pictured)
- 1727 - A group of unscrupulous Europeans, led by Leon "L. L." Bean, steal the secrets of the moccasin, and send Shenandoah a paltry 1.5% royalty fee for each pair sold.
- 1800 - Napoleon Bonaparte establishes the Fashion Police and makes it illegal to wear any shoes that are not moccasins.
- 1941 - Heinrich Himmler orders all homosexuals in Germany to be sent to concentration camps: the Wehrmacht, once the most fashionable army in the world, soon find themselves poorly groomed and wearing fatigues that clash with their boots.
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| Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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Today's featured picture
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As you enjoy this Christmas holiday safe at home with your family, please remember the brave men and women who gave their lives in the name of Christmas spirit.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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- Santa's newest creation, the Elveatron 5000, has written many works of art full of creativity and cunning, and so has earned the title of Writer of the Month.
- Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.
- Isn't Santa wonderful?
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Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!
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Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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Uncyclopedia's sista projects
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| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
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Uncyclopedia Languages
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,990 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Santa!:
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