User talk:ChiefjusticeDS/Archive 2

I was Lost in Space but now am Found

Thankies for your Pee Review on Lost in Space! I think your advice will help me make this article much better. It wasn't mine originally, I'm just trying to fix it. As I posted under your review, I think it's harder to fix an article that's broken than to start one from scratch. Thankies! Binky The WonderSkull 22:01, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Anytime, I agree, it can be very difficult to fix an already broken article. If you want a hand or for someone to give the article a quick look then, just ask. Good luck fixing it, I'm sure you have what it takes. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:17, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes

August 6th, 2009 • Issue 59 • Painfully Extracting Nuggets of Truth from the Teeth of the News!

Uncyclopedia Triples Ad Revenue; Users Line Up For Paychecks By Gerrycheevers This week, Uncyclopedia's benign evil overlords, Wikia, shuffled the advertising layout on our fine website. Previously, the left sidebar contained just one Wikia spotlight. These spotlights are not advertisements as much as they are a way to whore Wikia and increase its position in some sort of Google rankings, since the links from the banner ads go from Wikia-hosted Uncyclopedia to Google and back to Wikia-hosted wikis on such relevant topics to users who are on a satire wiki as the Burnout Wiki and the Harry Potter wiki. These Google rankings are actually a series of thousands of monkeys at Google headquarters, who move beads around on giant abaci based on search engine hits. Users who click these cleverly disguised and probably illegal "double-switch" ads cause the monkeys to alter the beads in Wikia's favor. However, in recent days this Wikia spotlight was moved to the bottom of each page rather than the sidebar and multiplied by three. A cursory look at any of the wikis linked in these spotlights results in a brutal assault of the senses, as they are all swimming in banner advertisements, sidebar advertisements, advertisements in the content, and links to highly useful Wikia features such as Wikianswers. While the increased number of spotlights on Uncyclopedia has not directly resulted in any cash flow, the increased Google bead rating has indeed caused Wikia stock to jump by six beads (the stock market is also organized using giant abaci, only it is operated by goats rather than monkeys). Wikia has decided to share credit for this jump in value with the users of Uncyclopedia, and all users will be receiving checks for equal amounts next Tuesday. The line forms behind Olipro, wherever he happens to be on Tuesday when the stock market goats arbitrarily decide to stop working for the day. A Hell of a Time at the Village Dump By Bad Shroom Recently in the forums, BHOP's activity has arguably skyrocketed. An IP has started a new rhyming craze, and the cheesy, crunchy snack food CheddarBBQ has revived many topics that were getting rather aged, such as Fantasy Football, a Shakira-esque topic, and even his own birthday's topic. Back on BHOP, fruity user Neox's random storytelling and serious user YouKnowWhatTheMusicMeans' serious, dramatic storytelling have made Forum:Who HATES MochiAds? 2's story a complete, random mess. Also, Optimuschris and Modusoperandi have been having one hell of a time discussing the much-anticipated failing of the new G.I. Joe movie. Finally, users have a had a heated battle over whether to ban the Abstain feature on VFH, which is ending up as off-topic and random as an episode of Lost. Are there any cool discussions going on? That's the forum news in your area, now here's Mr. G with the weather, only on Public Access Channel 2!

Check out these pages! The 18th Quadrennial Slut List Obama Tosses the Patriot Act at Uncyclopedia STFU, N00B!! From our logs: 08:49, 31 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a flat cap and a whippet ‎(tha's callin' us lazy, lad? sithee 'ere, I were down t'pit 36 hours a day for tuppence when tha were nobbut a lad!) 02:40, 1 August 2009 Ljlego (Talk | contribs) resurrected Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Nah, it wasn't so bad. Your nakedness totally made up for it.) 02:01, 5 August 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.14.52.46 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Yes, you tell that "Jacob" what you really think about him! Now that you've told him off on a random website online you'll be the coolest one of your friends. You are such a badass.) Biopic of the Week Like most of the dozens of Uncyclopedians that hail from Norwell, Massachusetts, The UnIdiot is awesome. Perhaps most well known for his high quality journalism, he has also branched out into public service announcements and novelized fiction. We don't know what the deal with Norwell is; probably something to do with the water. Old School Featured Article of the Week The Water powered bus is the most prominent mode of public transportation in rainy cities such as Seattle and London, and also underwater cities like Atlantis and New Orleans. Invented in 1954 by Sir Henry Bus, the water powered bus is capable of maintaining speeds between 'brisk gentlemanly walk' and 'brisk gentlemanly trot' for up to ten minutes. Cajek Update of the Fortnight Noted funnyman Cajek was recently spotted announcing his presence and simultaneously his lack of activity. However, he was also sighted vandalizing signatures and driving in a reckless manner, with a crumpet in his hand and a groundhog on his lap, respectively.

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Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:02, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Also...

RAPE! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:02, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Where??? Now where the hell has my contents listing gone? Did you take that as well? You fiend.--ChiefjusticeDS 22:04, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

A Mr Sherlock Holmes is at the door, sir

I have observed

that you had voted for an entry on me to be featured. Of course, this was to be expected for a man of such reputation, Watson, was it not?
Elementary, Holmes, as you would have put it.
So it is. But it appears that the author nevertheless wishes to thank you, so I'll leave him to it. Meanwhile, I shall return to my cough drop bottle.

Hold on a minute ... Holmes, is that cocaine?
Watson—
I'd thought Dr Freud had made you fight off that vice! Here, give me that. You know how many times I've told you to smoke tobacco instead.

---

Thank you for voting for this article!

Rejoice, ChiefjusticeDS! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

And your review was, more likely than not, quite helpful in improving the article. So thanks doubly. Sir MacMania GUN—[05:39 11 Aug 2009]

Thanks for helping make Six Hats a feature...

...and this is where I'm supposed to have made a really exciting template, but it's easier for me to just write this once and then cut and paste it a bunch of times. Pup t 09:32, 11/08/2009

Thanks

Our appreciation is not easily earned.

But you have achieved what few others ever manage:
The respect of the
Kosher Nostra.
You can rest assured that you henceforth enjoy our protection,
our support and a bed free of beheaded bagel crumbs.
La Kosher Nostra.

---

Articles

Thanks for the review of Alien abduction insurance. I made couple of alterations. I was wondering if you would be able to tell me if that was the direction that you thought I should take it in so I can keep going? And on another note...would you say that the 500ft Turd article has a shot at VFH as it stands now? --Sequence 13:04, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Roberto Duran

Hi Chief. Once again you took so much time to help my article. Of course, this guy was great enough and funny enough in real life, no need fiction. I'll study your advice and do each and everything you advise. Then I'll let you know for double check. My hero!--Funnybony 16:26, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Chief

Just so you know, I probably won't pick up a review tomorrow, going to try to get started on some of my articles instead --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 21:31, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

'Tis fine, remember this is something we all do in our spare time (except for Modus who never leaves) you are quite entitled to never pick up a review ever again. But I do appreciate the notice, take as long as you need on your article as without articles we reviewers have nothing to do. Thanks again for the notice, and good luck with your article. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:05, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

The doctor will see you now Oh, by the way, before we begin today's session, I'd like to thank you for supporting my recent featured article. Now, tell me about your childhood.--You know what the music means... Our time is up.

I'd just like to say

Cheers! The review you did for that article I found was really in depth. I'll polish up the points you mentioned and drop it on VFS to see how it does. Many thanks (Bonner) (Talk) Aug 12, 17:37

Rejoice, ChiefjusticeDS! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

You lying lyre!

Lol. How's it going ChiefjusticeDS, Pericles here. Thanks for deciding to review my article on the lyre. I hope you catch things which User:Siddhartha-Wolf did not even notice when combing through the article for the first review. Cheers!--PericlesofAthens 00:26, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Hi ChiefjusticeDS. Thanks for the review of my article on the lyre. As you suggested, I have gotten rid of places where a non-encyclopedic tone is used, including opinionated statements and first person statements, and since you are the second one to complain about it, I got rid of the Jack Bauer image. I also see what you mean about the last paragraph, which I just completely removed as it might be too unfunny to salvage. Aside from these suggestions, I am having a hard time copyediting the article according to your other suggestions, which are a little vague and hard to apply immediately. Could you point out specific sentences and specific jokes which are problematic and explain what you think would be a better course? Thanks.--PericlesofAthens 19:37, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Right, I'm going to reply here, just because it makes this look better in context. My point on you drifting away from what you are talking about (demonstrated with the Darth Vader example), is mostly to do with the Ancient Greece section where I felt you needlessly elaborated on some character backgrounds. The point about losing sight of the difference is more general, if you read from the start of your article, through to the end as though you have never seen the article before, you will notice that what a lyre is and indeed who a lyre is undergoes a shift and you start writing the article "Liar", and just putting "playing the lyre" in the appropriate places, I think the mnemonic coincidence should not be played upon to the extent that it is, since it ultimately leads you away from the subject, you begin the article talking about so well. I hope this helps. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:26, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

About A perfect article pee review

Thx very much for your review. FYI, i'm not english native and this text is a translation from an article (perfect by the way) I originally wrote for french Désencyclopédie. I found some difficulties translating some of the jokes that were included in my text so maybe that's why you found some humour missing. So I'm not sure I'll be able to modify the article according to your advices but feel free to do it if you think you can improve. Oh and by the way, how come I don't get a 10 for each section ??? It's a perfect article !!! ;) WiiKend 08:54, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks—the remake

Thank you for supporting and reviewing! Sir MacMania GUN—[20:57 16 Aug 2009]

Thanks for the PEE

I take your point about the guidebook style varying a bit, so I'm editing that. Can't win with the pics though. You want them all on one side but when i've done that before someone else will want them alternating. I may resubmit it in a couple days - not that i'd expect you to read it again! --Sog1970 11:55, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

BPA

I'm not pretty sure of the syntax so could you please take a look at this ? Monsieur William Little

Sure thing. I'll do it now. --ChiefjusticeDS 19:50, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Great! Thank you again! Monsieur William Little

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for making my article a feature

It's about fucking time.

—Thanks

---

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:08, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

More thanks

Thanks for your help, I was on the right track, just doubted myself there for a minute. Correcting graffiti? Excellent, I'm the sort of git who corrects unsolicited sales spam and sends it back :-) --Rforbes 20:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

It's no problem, and yes, they had used the wrong form of there/their and had forgotten a comma and full stop. I happened to have my sharpie so figured people could at least enjoy the graffiti with the correct spelling and punctuation, alas two men in a police car told me to stop it. Glad I could help. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:14, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that just got hijacked by Woody and Ape. Mwhahahaha!

Date August 13th, 2009 • Issue 60 • Taking the News, Making it Better

UnSignpost Editor Disappears; UnSignpost Suffers Mysterious Drop in Quality By The Woodburninator August 10, 2009 - a date which will live in infamy. Gerrycheevers, the UnSignpost's handsome, talented, and, often times, only editor announced his leave of absence in order to head west, and make a name for himself. In an UnSignpost Exclusive, Gerry talked at length about his final destination and the exciting journey he expects. "[I'll be heading to] north dakota. [I reckon I'll take the famous Oregon Trail, driving a horse and buggy, herding cattle, planting seeds of injustice wherever I may.]" How long this move out west will take is unknown by all but our best psychics, and since Gerry has them trained to bite anyone who come near, we'll go with Gerry's approximate date of August 21. If all of our readers miss Gerry (and we have a feeling that, one paragraph in, you already do), please drop him a line. Tell him how much he is missed. Tell him that if he ever leaves again, we won't be so forgiving. Just tell him something. We don't want to have to do this without him again. In an unrelated note, the UnSignpost - usually a shining example of grammatical correctness, good spelling, and hilarity - seems to have hit a drop in quality for this week's issue. The reasons for these changes seem to be a mystery to everyone. As far as we can tell, the problems that have arisen are completely arbitrary. The reasons for this change in quality have been the talk of the community this week. Some have suggested the recent meteor shower has caused an influx of gamma radiation into our atmosphere, creating a negative energy all over the Earth, and thus causing our writing abilities to falter. Under User stupidly blamed all of this on the change in editors, saying "Good to see we're keeping the time-honoured Signpost tradition of the revolving door to the editor's office alive and well. Although now Woody's in there, that should probably be a 'revolting' door." Bastard. Uncyclopedian creates Trivia Bot, ruins everything By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Popular Uncyclopedian Electric mocha something-or-other, also known as EMC, this week unveiled his latest creation: a trivia bot for the Uncyclopedia IRC Channel. The bot, named "UncycTrivia", stands at over seven feet tall and is made exclusively from red crayons. Seemingly, its only function is to spout random nonsense under the guise of trivia questions and then demand answers, awarding points to whoever manages to guess the random word or phrase it considers the answer. EMC let loose his bot on the nerds, perverts and middle-aged alcoholics of #uncyclopedia, leading to even less constructive conversation then usual. Instead, the channel is mostly filled with dozens of people shouting random words in the hopes of being awarded meaningless points. Some, however, have pointed out that the only real difference between this and the way things were before is the awarding of points. Not content with destroying one channel, however, EMC subsequently decided to bring his bot to ##turtle,the exciting new channel with the dubious honour of being "the BHOP of IRC" (but with less Bad Shroom), which also served as a staging post for a recent troll invasion of Yahoo! Answers. EMC was unavailable for comment when I was throwing this piece together in five minutes. He is presumed to be sitting in a cave somewhere stroking his large red crayon and laughing dementedly. New Editors Have Trouble Matching up Left and Right Sides By The Woodburninator In a startling development, the newest editors of the UnSignpost are proving to be quite inept at lining up the left and right sides of Post's template. It seems that our penchant for placing more and more boxes on the right side of the page has defeated the natural aesthetic of the Post's two-even-sides strategy. While this is a problem, it does seem to be fixable. Namely, by adding this headline and story. Is this just an obvious cry for help, that we are unable to do this without Gerry? Probably. But since our hostile takeover has proven quite successful unstoppable so far, we would disagree.

Check out these pages! International fucking of sorts Wikipedia gets uglier! Racist apes demand equal pay From our logs: 14:17, 10 August 2009 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.165.47.133 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Who is Ed and why should is he better than me?) 14:18, 10 August 2009 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fuck you, me, stop proving that guy's point with your horrible horrible ban reasons) 15:30, 8 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 24 seconds ‎ (beating me to a ban, and using a boring ban reason when you got there. honestly, I spend seconds on a ban reason, only to find it's wasted. gnurph!) Biopic of the Week Perhaps the finest research analyst from Boston that Uncyclopedia has ever seen, Gerrycheevers is among one of the most awarded users on the site. He has performed the rare feat of capturing Every single major monthly Award this site has to offer, plus NotM too. Add that to his 21.5 features, the class and dignity with which he has won them all, and his constant efforts as the main editor of the UnSignpost, it would seem that the reign of Cheevers is just begining. That is if he ever gets back here. Old School Featured Article of the Week The Little boy who lives down the street is a child who lives down the street that no other children have ever seen. (And no-one knows his name either...) This is because the child has died, in several fashions, over and over again, the subject of which is constantly being brought up by your Mother and/or Grandmother when they’re explaining why you cannot do something that you really want to do. VFD vote of the week "With the exception of Bruce Lee, these people are the least funniest people who have ever lived. Why people continue to cream their jeans over them for their supposed god-like abilities, I can't figure that out. Delete. Delete. Delete. Sakujo. Delete this massive faggotry. These people ain't bad THEY AIN'T NOTHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Roman Dog Bird 04:27, 13 August 2009 (UTC) Sannse Trivia (from UncycTrivia) Q: Sannse moved to San Francisco because she is a ______ (hint: it starts with an "L") A: Liberal Actually, now we need another box. Woody, you fucking idiot.

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9001(bot)  20:33, Aug 18

God

This is about Uncyclopedia:VFH/God

You wrote, "Against. While you and IC may have done some more work on it, it's a big no to feature it again. Especially since you have only expanded the original material, rather than completely rewriting it. ChiefjusticeDS 06:04, 19 August 2009 (UTC)"

Of course I wanted it to be featured, but have no problem with people voting the way they feel. I guess there's a feeling here against featuring an article twice. And I respect you as an experienced uncyclopedian who's been nominated Writer of the Month.

But I have to ask, did you read the earlier version before we started editing and compare that to what we did? There's almost no similarity between the two except they're both about God, and have a couple of the same pics (but with different captions).

Please compare the article before we started working on it to the version that was nominated for VFH. [1]. Can you honestly say this hasn't been completely rewritten? Miley Spears 14:57, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

My personal view is that the original material was fine, and a rewrite wasn't really required. I never vote without making sure I understand the circumstances behind a nomination for the front page, as I know the amount of time and effort that goes into the articles. As far as the God one was concerned, to my brain at 7am this morning, the two were not so different. If you were to call me out on this one, I would say that my vote may have been hasty and the reasoning considered less well than it should have been. I will reconsider my decision since the nomination appears to have been reset. --ChiefjusticeDS 18:37, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

My respect for you has shot way up. You could easily discount me as a noob and you as a major Uncyclopedian (which I believe you are), but you didn't. You have agreed to reconsider. Whatever you decide, for, against or abstain, I will have a lot of respect for you. I hope you don't mind, but you'll likely be one of the people I'll ask for help in the future when I get lost here. Thanks again! :) Miley Spears 01:45, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Here's a problem maybe you can fix. If you go to the God article and click on the link for "Please see this article's entry," it takes you to the old nomination. People who click on that to vote will end up at the old nomination, and will believe the vote's already over. So could you fix the link so it goes to the new nomination? I asked someone else to fix it, but whoever gets there first I hope you fix the link! Thanks! Miley Spears 02:19, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

I took a look at it for you and it looks as though the reason the link doesn't direct appropriately is because the new nomination is called: God (colonisation) rather than God. I lack the privileges to fix that for you as it relates to the names of articles. Contact one of the admins if you haven't already and you think that the nom will lose support if it is not fixed. --ChiefjusticeDS 09:02, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Nobody had fixed it. So I was trying to fix it by adding a correction that had the right link at the same time somebody fixed it the way it should be fixed! So it's fixed now. Thanks for your advice on fixing! :) Miley Spears who needs to be fixed so she doesn't breed 16:44, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Goodbye for a while

Goodbye for a while. We'll miss you! :) Miley Spears 22:37, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

A blast of wind is heard, as the good spaceship Serenity approaches your userpage ...

Thank you for supporting the Firefly article! <sarcasm style="obvious">Although, if I may, my plan was really to have it fail VFH after 11 days, have it quasi-featured, start a "Feature Firefly" campaign, and eventually rewrite and have featured the article on Serenity (which is kind of in a mess at the moment).</sarcasm> But thanks anyway, and good luck with real life! Sir MacMania GUN—[03:04 23 Aug 2009]

UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that WILL win Zombiebaron back, damn it.

Date August 20th, 2009 • Issue 61 • Where no news is normal news

Fantasy Football Draft Finished By Guildensternenstein After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglorious Bastards later tonight." The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment. New UnSignpost Editor already having trouble filling up space; Falls upon pointless gimmicks, self-references, long article titles to fill void By The Woodburninator In a move that has surprised literally 0% of the Uncyclopedia UnSignpost community, the newest UnSignpost editor has already hit a wall in trying to think up new articles for the post. Well, that's not actually true. First he wrote a story trying to beg Zombiebaron to re-subscribe for the post. Then he actually looked at Zombiebaron's userpage to find out that he was actually leaving the site. Needless to say, the presses were called back, and more writing had to be done. Namely, this. Now, we at the post already know what you are thinking. But, since putting those things into print is outlawed in 36 states, two Canadian provinces, and all of Lithuania, we will instead reference the fact that there have been an awful lot of self-referencing in the UnSignpost lately. For that we are truly sorry. Also, we are sorry for self-referencing our own self-referencing. It is truly a problem that continues to build upon itself. We hope to soon continue with the top notch reporting that is so often found in our hallowed archives. Such as the time we wrote about Spang's village dump conquests, or the time we self-referenced how the UnSignpost's lovable mascot, "Dognewspaper" had not been in the Unsignpost for over nine months. Or that time we wrote about the Fantasy Football Draft being finished. Yes, all of those times were good. And we plan - nae, promise - to, in the very near future, continue bringing those kinds of articles to your doorstep. That is, if you don't mind finding a bit of drool upon it.	Check out these pages! Merging with Wikipedia? Certainly not! YOU ARE NOT THINKERER! The sausage fest just got more sausagey. From our logs: 12:30, 16 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.133.6.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking pages makes baby jesus cry. it also gets your ass banned. maybe one or the other of those things will convince you not to do it again) 10:55, 18 August 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 18 days ‎ (so you let me look like an ignorant baffoon for 18 days? What kind of SLA is that?) 11:02, 18 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 432 hours ‎ (it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. America happily let George Bush look like an ignorant buffoon for 2 terms of office, for example...) Biopic of the Week The man from straight out of Kiel, Germany, NaturalBornKieler has been a tremendous addition to Uncyclopedia since joining in June, 2007. While he has had no issues splitting his time between both Uncyclopedia, and the German Uncyclopedia, he has, for some reason, written 10 more features, and some 100 more articles for the German Uncyclopedia than for our beautiful English side. Still, it seems he has found his calling now, working in the big bureaucracy of the Foreign Office. NBK was unable to be reached for comment, as he was unable to get the proper approval from his superiors to be interviewed by a newspaper. Ahhhh. Bureaucracy at work. Old School Featured Article of the Week The War of 1812, also known as "The War Nobody Wanted to Name", was a ridiculously embarrassing conflict fought between the United States, Great Britain, Canada, and Antarctica. Everybody lost. Coping with adolescence and struggling to maintain its identity during the Napoleonic Wars, the United States looked to its mother country for guidance. But England, a single parent with a host of colonies to look after, had little time to spend with its gawky young child. Hoping to impose some sort of discipline over its increasingly sullen ward, England resorted to a 10 p.m. curfew. Old School Old School Box of the Week Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week Tact: No, I don't have any action figures. My sister plays with dolls, but I don't.
Judges Wanted! The next PLS is impending, and the are still judging slots unfilled. Modusoperandi is looking for users who are opinionated, who think that those opinions matter, and who want to give the benefit of those opinions to many in the form of passing judgement on articles. Enjoy the temporary sensation of power! Impress your friends! Alienate those whose articles you don't favour! Sign up now!
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9001(bot)  11:02, Aug 24

Hope Everything Goes Alright

Not sure what it is you're going through, but on behalf of everyone else here, we all hope you're OK. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:17, 28 August 2009 (UTC)