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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
- ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
 - ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
- ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
- ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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On this day...
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March 31: Condom Appreciation Day
- 4000 BC - Babylonians create the first wooden condoms (Pictured), resulting in much fewer unexpected pregnancies and many, many, many more splinter-related injuries.
- 1865 - The modern condom is introduced, consisting of sheep stomach lining coated with sulfuric acid. It is quixotically not well received.
- 1939 - With the invention of latex, the modern modern condom is introduced, single handedly ending the Great Depression.
- 1961 - Condoms are mentioned on television for the first time, in an episode of The Flintstones entitled Put It Back In.
- 1970 - National No-Condom decade kicks off at Studio 69 in New York City.
- 2009 - The Pope claims that condoms increase the number of people with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, in a similar manner to how exercise is unhealthy and cheeseburgers eat people.
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