Worst 100 Movies of All Time
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| Contents: 100-91 • 90-81 • 80-71 • 70-61 • 60-51 • 50-41 • 40-31 • 30-21 • 20-11 • 10-1 |
Films are great. They are beautiful. They are one of the defining points of humanity, an avalanche of brilliant artistic expression and only half-artificial feelings which provoke all manner of emotion and action. "Movies" (mooo-vee in American) as the public refer to them, are an entirely different matter. Made for a quick buck by Hollywood moguls, written by cretins and spoonfed to the half-witted audience, they should be wiped from the face of the earth. Yet despite the collective evil contained in the disturbingly loose phrase "movie", some are surely worse than others. And hence, the editors at Uncyclopedia have slapped together a list, but not any list. According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100 movies ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks on hand.
Theological studies into suckiness quotient[edit | edit source]
Many have tried to decode God's vision, and from that the true meaning of His teachings on earth, by studying this list of terrible movies. While this has been hotly debated throughout the last thirty years by theologians of all denominations, a few incontestable patterns have emerged. For example, Vin Diesel can dramatically increase the suckiness quotient of a movie should he make an appearance, and the suckiness caused in increased tenfold if he has any audiable lines of dialogue. German director Uwe Boll has a similar effect, with the productions he is involved in being contaminated by terrible quality almost automatically. Nicholas Cage or Seth Rogen can do something surprisingly similar.
Lack of nudity seems to be regarded by God as a clear sign of a bad movie, not so much in a movie where the main character appears to be slutty, as it would just be regarded as mildly disappointing, but in particular in movies where the main lead is hot, yet sensible, and "wouldn't normally do that kind of thing". When it's proven that he/she doesn't actually do that kind of thing, the sense of disappointment and frustration can be intense, or at least enough for pissed-of theologists to negatively interpret the film. Funny animals are a paradox; although they can increase the suckiness of most movies, the level of lack of nudity increases (funny animals typically appear in such movies) and thusly the level of suckiness from funny animals ceases to become a primary factor: the negative effects from this become negated themselves. Also, any film in which Rutger Hauer or Clint Eastwood appears does not suck. Period. If any movie has Jean-Claude van Damm in it is automatically sucks no matter what.
100-91[edit | edit source]
- 100. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
- Michael Bay's sequel is borderline rubbish, albeit numerous attempts at being "awesome" (see robots, Megan Fox).
- 99. Clerks 3
- Following the highly successful Clerks 1 and 2, the unofficial Clerks 3 was released in Iraq and Africa to mainly negative press.}}
- 98. War on Terror: The Musical!
- Directed by Kenny Ortega, director of the High School Musical films, War on Terror: The Musical! was released in 2006 and was produced by Disney, who were aiming to "open the eyes of young children to a whole new range of products!" Its plot was loosely based upon the actual War on Terror, with Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush both being main characters, but with more "jokes" and songs. Although much money was spent on the project, the film was seen by only a fraction of of High School Musical's "preteen girl" audience, the rest of whom refused to see films that didn't feature Zac Effron. War on Terror: The Musical! was also panned by critics, although it won two MTV Movie Awards, one being Best Song for Go Go Go, Jihads!"
- 97. Honey, I Filed a Divorce
- Another Disney production, this film attempted to take the popular Honey, I Shrunk the Kids series towards new, more realistic directions following the commercial failure that was Honey, I Ate the Kids. Despite remaining a family and divorce lawyer favourite, critics and mostly sane people hated it.
- 96. Batman and Robin
- Probably the most notoriously bad movie, Batman and Robin was the brainchild of Joel Schumacher, who also gave the world Batman Forever. The film became known for its terrible dialogue, such as the phrases "The Bat is in the house!" "I gonna pop a Bat-can in yo ass" and villain Mr Freeze's immortal line "See you when I freeze hell over, dickface!" Upon viewing, Batman fans attempted to siege Schumacher's house, but he had already escaped to Russia.
- 95. Satan Claus (aka A Devilmas Adventure)
- Marketed as a children's comedy, Satan Claus drew dissapointing controversy upon its depiction of violence, blasphemy and explicit nudity. Critics disliked the film and it did poorly at the box office.
- 94. Zelda
- The Movie
- Critic Roger Ebert described the film as "Like Lord of the Rings with a stupid hat on. It also has more giant spiders, a stupid hat, really screwed-up blobs of jelly that electrocute people, a stupid hat, and people using gems like money. Did I mention the stupid hat? Unless you've seen it you really can't grasp just how stupid this hat is. Man …" As with many of the films on this list, fans of Zelda considered suicide.
- 93. Fast and the Furious
- Vatican City Drift
- The ninth Fast and the Furious featured the Pope as a pimp in a race, and Vin Diesel got the role once again.
- 92. Mr Keating Goes To France
- Mr Keating Goes To France was originally meant to be a low-budget sequel to acclaimed science fiction film Dead Poets Society, the movie that bored several thousand schoolchildren to tears during its first screening. In order to alleviate this, Mr. Keating Goes To France spliced new footage of Robin Williams running around Paris stealing bicycles to flashbacks to the first movie, overdubbed by Williams in silly high voices, but was then remarketed as nothing more than a Robin Williams vehicle. Predictably, critics disliked the film, although it was praised for the astounding special effects featured in the scene in which Williams runs through Paris naked.
- 91. Dat Wind in dem Willows
- Despite the "not to be fucked with" status of the original Wind in the Willows, this serves as the 'modern' version. It still features an annoying frog but this time he's a Jewish Rapper.
90-81[edit | edit source]
- 90. El Burro ataca por Detroit 4
- Citizen Burro
- Considered the best movie ever to come from San Vicente Chicoloapan, Estado de México and done on a shoestring budget as a vehicle for local deputy's girlfriend Coralia Magali Xiomara María de Lourdes Consuelo San Ramón de la Garza y Garza Díaz de Bonilla Treviño de la Fuente. The previous three installments of El Burro Ataca por Detroit were a moderate success in the soft porn/horror/romantic comedy market, but this fourth episode tried to enter the arena of political commentary with disastrous results.
- 89. 2001: A Spice Odyssey
- Christopher Columbus directs this Spice Girls vehicle, in which the Spice Girls travel through an eerily product placement-filled version of space and encounter aliens who kidnap Posh Spice (Avarada Keesh).
88.
- 87. Citizen Kane 2
- Citizen Kaner
- Kane (Chris Tucker) is resurrected by mad scientists desperate to know what the fuck 'Rosebud' is. When he tells them it's his sled they bury him next to Orson Welles. Made in 1993 as a "quick buck" picture, the film exploited the original Citizen Kane to such a degree that many critics refused to review it, instead sitting in a corner grumpily.
- 86. 23
- The Move-E
- With the help of Martin Luther Bling, a fictional character not referring to any other existing or non-existing person, Michael Jordan (Michael Jordan), and LeBron James (LeBron James) fight against crime, to ultimately destroy the master of all (white) evil: Guy Titty. The computer game of the same name which the film was based on became rather popular, and actually was rather good. Director Steven Spielberg always denied he had directed this movie, or even came up with the story.
- 85. Godot!
- Michael Bay's action comedy adaptation of Samuel Beckett's classic existentialist play, which starred Eddie Murphy as Ray Vladimir, Martin Lawrence as Charles "Chuckie" Estragon and John Lithgow as Robert Godot, was "doomed to fail".
- 84. El Hombre Transformado, La Película
- The Spanish version of William Shatner's theatrical musical interpretation of his highly acclaimed recording "The Transformed Man" fared much better than it did in English-speaking countries. This version includes a controversial scene in which an army of babies riding dogs pillages a small French town.
- 83. OMG Sharkz!
- A "teen girl flick" featuring Ashlee Simpson and Lindsay Lohan fighting for survival against a deadly mechanical shark. The dialogue captions are entirely in Internet-speak.
- 82. OMGWTFLOLBBQ Sharkz!
- The mild success of the above led to this less-popular sequel, in which Ashlee's sister Jessica Simpson discovers the horrifying secret that the mechanical shark is really a large chicken.
- 81. Bob Saget
- Life Lessongs
- A self-produced comedy from auteur Bob Saget, which received equally low critical and box office reception.
80-71[edit | edit source]
- 80. Breakin' II
- Electric Hybrid Boogaloo
- An attempt to introduce the classic Disney character Herbie to the American environmentalist. Called a walking, talking product placement by critics, the film backfired instantly.
- 79. Three Hours of Primate Carcasses
- A unique look at death and decay from the perspective of a poacher's camera that was left on by accident. As Hollywood accepts any old crap as art these days, it wasn't hard for this film to make the jump from worthless amateur video footage to worthless dead animal fetish pornography, and finally to worthless cinema.
- 78. Netizen Kane
- A man running the world's most influential blog must face his personal demons: loneliness, the perils of success, and receiving a mere six eProps on his last post, which contained only a broken link to www.rosebud.gov.
- 77. Goldilocks and the Three Bears
- In 1972, an annonymous New Zanzibarian director made his first feature film, an adaption of the childeren's story of the same name. Due to the restrained length of the of the story, much of the film was unrelated filler material which led to negative reviews from critics.
- 76. Hotel Motherfucker!
- A crudely directed action comedy directed by James Gunn which starred Samuel L. Jackson as the tenant of a hotel where hilarity and sex often ensues.
- 75. Artefactz
- At a flea market, Andy Dick buys something that's haunted or important or … something. Anyway, it's noted for the scenes where Andy still has semen on his mouth when the shooting starts. Filmed on a $5,000,000 budget, it made $9.50 total, and was removed from the theater and placed in the national archives after the only guy who ever paid to see it saw it. He committed suicide soon after.
- 74. Gone With The Wind Redux
- A failed remake of the American classic, which featured considerably more fart jokes and stereotyping. Roger Ebert said, "It strikes me as odd that this film was actually made by someone, even if they were a Mexican child."
- 73. Oh Shit, The Robots Are Coming To Get Us
- A Hollywood explosion-orgy-fest just barely based on Isaac Asimov's original sci-erotica novel of tedious length. One of the many notable changes is in the opening teaser, when robopsychologist Susan Calvin (played by Yeardley Smith) inexplicably transforms herself into a giant killer robot and destroys most of Cleveland.
- 72. Fly Me to My Doom
- The terrifying true story of the Rat Pack.
- 71. Star Wars Episode VII
- The Fallen Hero
- Why this was made, only SuperShadow and Satan know.
70-61[edit | edit source]
- 70. De Lift
- Made in the Netherlands and spoken in French, this film tells the tale of an elevator gone horribly wrong when someone who requested the sixth floor of the municipal abattoir ends up on the seventh.
- 69. Driving Miss Daisy 2
- The Undertaker
- The touching story of Miss Daisy's final drive.
- 68. The Unusual Suspects
The NYPD arrest an eclectic group of individuals with no criminal records and place them in a lineup. These include an Irish chef who can cook only potatoes and soda bread; an overtly heterosexual born-again Christian Republican actor; an intensely introverted 65-year-old Spanish panhandler who cannot speak English; a man who plays Santa Claus all year round in Central Park; and a thalidomide sufferer with no arms or legs and an IQ of 30; Together they attempt (and fail) to find the exit after they are let go.
- 67. Cop Wars 2009
- The LAPD take on the NYPD in a futuristic, apocalyptic and post-colonic dyspepsia. As the film was made in 1973, little of the film ended up accurate when 2009 actually came.
- 66. Exploding Willy
- This movie was an adaption of the real life 1970s event where Oregon police blew up a beached whale. Significant changes were made to the "plot", so that the film followed an intelligent, anthropomorphic whale which escapes from Sea World but is unable to survive without human help. Eventually it dies of starvation and washes up on an Oregon beach, where its carcass fought for by the mob and is eventually detonated in New York's Times Sqare, leading to a twenty minute long shootout. The film's constant themes of pointlessness drew a negative response from critics.
- 65. Triumph des Kanalisationsystems (Triumph of the Sewerage System)
- A vintage German documentary by director Leni Riefenstahl about the rebuilding of Germany's sewerage systems in the post-war period. Despite acclaim abroad, it was slated by impatient American audiences.
- 64. The Big Polański
- The anarchic adventures of an aging hippy and a Polish film director as they avoid capture by Interpol.
- 63. Close Encounters of the Third Reich
- Made as a 60's exploitation flick, Close Encounters of the Third Reich is best described as its DVD case does: "Adolf Hitler returns in a UFO, and he's pissed."
- 62. Titanic vs Godzilla
- A strange at best sequel to the popular 1998 movie. At the end of the original Titanic, Bruce Willis (played by Leonardo Di Caprio) destroys the iceberg after drilling into it and planting a nuclear bomb in its core. But the RSS Titanic is far from safe. Blown off course, it heads into Japan, home of the notorious Godzilla. Although the film's miniature effects were praised by critics, its plot, dialogue, acting and dialogue were written of as "ridiculous".
- 61. Meatspin The Movie
- A drama/suspense film featuring two hours of spinning meat all up in your face. The film's soundtrack has one song on it.
60-51[edit | edit source]
- 60. Herbie Does Dallas
- An ill-conceived car-porn movie. Famous for its autofellatio scenes. "Getcha motor runnin'."
- 59. Paper Factory Blues
- A look into a paper making factory, and the infamous events that happened there in 1984 when the paper mixture, or pulp, was not the right consistency, blocked up a machine and put the factory at a standstill for three days. This pioneering documentary revisits the factory and its workers, allowing them to reflect upon the experience and how it has influenced their lives.
- 58. I Couldn't Give A Shit About What You Did Last Summer
- A comedic horror sequel, which features terrible teen humor in spades. Its plot revolvs around a bunch of apathetic college kids managing to avoid a psychopath by never being around when he visits or bothering to return his calls.
- 57. Donnie Fargo
- Donnie Darko appears in Tangent Universe Minnesota as Jerry Lundegard's son. "Where's mom?" "She got hit by a jet engine son, eh?"
- 56. Roe vs. Wade 2 – Final Decision
- A dissapointing adaption of a slightly-less-than-average court case, which starred the cast of Ghostbusters as the Supreme Court in order to gain some recognition. The film was also remembered mostly for that awesome lobby scene where the evening news employs special bullet-time effects to make the scene look a whole lot more interesting than it really is.
- 55. The Matrix Resuscitation
- Agent Smith is revived by the Machine Overmind after being killed by Neo. Neo and Agent Smith eventually discover their shared Source and kiss and make up with each other. They ally and proceed to fight a program more evil and powerful than the Architect, Super-Techno-Mecha-Jesus GX, while the Wachowski Brothers earn billions just taking a shit on collector's editions of classics by Asimov, Pohl, and other Science Fiction authors.
- 54. Red Dawn of the Resident Evil Dead Poets Society of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band of Four Blues Brothers Grimm
- (USA, 1970) When there's no more room in Soviet Russia, the dead will walk the USA and depend on each other to be your inspirationally fatal mistake. A splendid time is guaranteed for all. No curse they can't reverse. Because they're on a mission from God in a yellow submarine who came to bury their mother, and her killer. Groovy.
- 53. Die Hard 5
- Nursing Home
- Officer John McLane (Bruce Willis) returns to serve out a plate of whopass to all who want it. This time round the movie takes place in his local retirement village, where him and all the other actors past their peak hold an uprising against the nurses.
- 52. Casparblanca
- In a rare "double whammy", Lionsgate Films decides to make a remake of the classic film Casablanca and the heartwarming tale of Casper the Friendly Ghost. The movie cost $70 million to make, and included such elaborate measures as biogenetically reconstructing Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, and then killing both of them. The movie grossed over $3.47 and some string at the box office, and made $200 in DVD sales.
- 51. Police Appendectomy III
- Hightower gets an acute pain in his side and is rushed off to hospital by Maloney. Hilarious slapstick ensues.
50-41[edit | edit source]
- 50. April of the Penguins
- An unexpected and unwanted sequel. The penguins are back, and guess what, they still can't fly.
- 49. The Making of … Duke Nukem Forever
- A documentary covering the long awaited game which is now out, kind of defeating the point of this one. Thus, the film ends after a decade of continuous footage. Some high points include the making of the innovative "aliens invading earth and taking all the women" plot, and the voice actor for Duke himself keeling over from starvation and exhaustion after recording more than a million Dukeisms in one long week. The end is still unbeknownst to all those who have watched it, because everyone who has watched the film has either committed suicide or walked out of the theater early.
- 48. Andy Warhol Controls the Universe
- Mr. Warhol hits new experimental heights in this film about a filmmaker making a film about a film whose filmmaker filmed it entirely with the lens cap on.}}
- 47. Speed 3
- 8 Miles Per Hour
- A disasterous second sequel to the film Speed, maybe moreso than Cruise Control, the first sequel. The plot revolves around Eminem (himself) and Sandra Bullock (herself), who are stuck on a runaway motorized lawnmower.
- 46. Blank 180 Minutes
- Since its initial release, this minimalist title has been the biggest-selling title on VHS ever. The plot, although far superior to Uwe Boll films, is sub-standard. The 1984 sequel (Blank 240 Minutes) received worse reviews still.
- 45. Alien vs. Predator: Requiem for a Dream
- A little town in the hills of Colorado will become the battleground between two of the deadliest extra-terrestrial lifeforms – the Predator, a lonely, TV obsessed alien, and his son Alien, his girlfriend Bitch, and his drug dealer friend. After learning that he will make an appearance on a TV game show, Predator tries to lose weight so he can fit into his prized red dress, and becomes hooked on diet pills. Meanwhile, Alien and his friends are taking heroin and cocaine. One at a time, the inhabitants of the town become targets of the Alien and the Predator, including the local sheriff, an 87-year-old prostitute recently returned from Turkmenistan, and several gay anti-Semitic black Buddhist necropedozoophile priests. Though the National Guard is called in, they are unable to stop the deadly creatures, and a plan is set in motion to destroy the town with a nuclear device.
- 44. Paul Allen vs Predator
- Can $21 billion protect you from an invisible alien hunting machine?
- 43. The Texas Shawshank Redemption Massacre
- Rather than being a kind of rubbish double-parody as the title would imply, The Texas Shawshank Redemption Massacre was actually a series of non-chronological clips from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Shawshank Redemption, two far better films, spliced together incoherently in a Malaysian sweatshop. Despite receiving negative reviews, it was a box office success due to its crafty marketing strategy (see title) which drew in crowds expecting to see a shallow parody. As Roger Ebert commented, "It's like a train crash. You want to look away but you can't."
- 42. Inuyasha Movie 18-Back to the Sengoku
- Kagome visits her cousin in Hill Valley, California and brings along the rest of the group just for kicks. As if the culture shock of being in another country in the 21st century isn't enough, they somehow get sent back to the year 1985, and have to either track Doc Brown's time machine (before it gets destroyed) or get a flight back to Japan so they can take the well back to the Sengoku period and then back to modern times, all while cracking stupid "where's the beef" and New Coke jokes. Meanwhile Naraku shows up and possesses Madonna, planning to destroy Kagome in her past by trying to seduce her dad before he meets her mom. Unbearably cheesy tween-written crossover fan fiction at its worst.
- 41. Armenian Beauty
- An alledgedy true story of one man's desperate search in this post-Soviet republic for any girl who doesn't look like the backside of a cow. Due to the warning "Images of ugly women may offend" being displayed on the poster, few people went to see it, and critics slammed it.
40-31[edit | edit source]
- 40. Kill Bill and Ted's X-rated Adventure
- Bill and Ted are having an excellent adventure through time, but someone wants to stop them.
- 39. Carry on Molesting
- Made in 1965, the seventeenth Carry On film dealt with darker subject matter, such as a guy who can't stop fondling strange women in public. However, critics noted that the distinct Carry On-style handling of the plot wrecked the tension, driving the film into the ground.
- 38. American π
- A semi-psychotic mathematician discovers the perfect mathematical theory for getting high school chicks naked.
- 37. All Your Base Are Belong To Us
- A historical documentary about the frenetic negotiations between Khrushchev and Kennedy to avert a third world war.
- 36. The Eragon Movie
- An absolute insult to Chris Paolini (the author of the book), who was later convicted for strangling the director to death in his sleep.
- 35. Twilight
- All of them.
- 34. My Hero Zero
- A live action version of one of the least popular Schoolhouse Rock episodes. Coming in at just under three hours of mostly mathematical propaganda of the alleged utility of zero, it unsuccessfully anthropomorphized the plucky number into a superhero of unbelievable proportions, until he was tragically slain in the act of illegal division.
- 33. 4chan
- Titled simply 4-Chan rather than proposed title "4CHAN 4CHAN 4CHANNNNN 44CHANNN 44444CHNNA", it follows a day in the life of those who post on the /b/ board and mostly the rest of it is hentai. The film was condemned by critics for its gruesome and sickening content, and earned an NC-17.
- 32. The Land Before Time MMMDCCCLXXXVIII
- Dear God, Please Let The Goddamn Comet Show Up And Kill Them All Already: Rather than go out and have formulaic adventures, Littleneck and his friends decide to stay home and eat tree stars for two hours. Then, they go off to visit their cannibal friend, the little T-rex. Only, now he's really big. And hungry. Littleneck gets his head ripped off, Toyota Sera learns she has paranoia schizophrenia, and Spike eats Ducky, very messily. Everyone else is shocked, and distressed, until the sharp-tooth eats them too. Interestingly, nobody noticed the difference between this and the other fifty sequels until late 2010.
- 31. Hurricane Katrina: The Movie
- A "disrespectful" look at Katrina bragging about her damage in New Orleans, and how much she loved Atlantis and wanted to turn a real city into one.
30-21[edit | edit source]
- 30. Dictionary: The Movie
- A twelve hundred hour movie defining every word in the English language. Directed by Peter Jackson.
- 29. Zac Efron
- the Movie
- A twelve hour compilation of every movie and TV show Zac Efron has ever appeared in. Because he is known as the "worst actor in history", this straight-to-DVD release has been banned by the European Union.
- 28. Farscrape
- the Skin-cutter Wars
- All great wounds heal, but this one's gonna leave a scar. Four hours of random people skidding on the ground.
- 27. Columbine
- Full Throttle
- Everyone's favorite little rascals Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold are back in a hilarious new adventure that will send them across the world.
- 26. Shaving Ryan's Privates
- What happened after Private Ryan was saved.
- 25. Get Beat Up And Die Cryin'
- Story about a crappy rapper who's worth 50 cents.
- 24. Signs of Anti-Semitism
- Graham Hess loses his faith when his wife is killed by a Jewish rabbi but a inevitable Jewish invasion forces him to confront his crisis of faith while protecting his family.
- 23. Big Momma's Cider House Rules
- An orphaned young man raised by Michael Caine goes undercover as a overweight black woman at an apple orchard. He teaches valuable lessons to the apple pickers in a slightly humorous way (by way of featuring vagina jokes) but when he learns that Delroy Lindo rapes black women, he decides to be white again and becomes an abortionist.
- 22. Super Mario Bros. 3
- The brothers must unclog the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom's drains, while Bowser is getting central bypass surgery.
- 21. Uwe Boll's The Sims
- Uwe Boll directs an adaptation of The Sims, a film that is spoken completely in Simlish and features randomly placed naked girls.
20-11[edit | edit source]
- 20. Eating Pasta in a Space Suit
- An instructional video on how to eat pasta in a space suit.
- 19. V for Mandela
- The story of one man and his will to save a broken country. He also wears a mask and has a jukebox.
- 18. Mountie Fightin' and the Fowly Fail
- An absurd saga about two Canadian policemen who fight about who destroyed the Peking duck they were cooking.
- 17. Honey, I Hate the Kids
- A gritty look into domestic violence with Rick Moranis.
- 16. Romeo and Juliet II
- The Payback
- Romeo and Juliet are back! They're going to make their families come together … or there'll be hell to pay!
- 14. Dumb and Dumberest
- Pro-Abortion Argument
- "It's Baby Geniuses, only way, way retardeder," proclaimed Roger Ebert upon seeing this film, in which Baby Lloyd shoots Baby Harry in the crotch with a flare gun and the two trek to the nearest hospital.
- 13. DragonForce
- The Movie
- It's utter chaos as the big-bads from every single fantasy adventure game ever made escape into the real world. The fate of the world rests in the fingers of Herman Li and Sam Totman, as DragonForce attempt to save the world with high pitched vocals, tediously long guitar solos and pacman sound effects. Contains over four hours' worth of mindless shredding.
- 12. Super Size Me
- The Musical
- America's favourite documentary didn't make enough money the first time through, so the guy who stared in the previous movie came back and did it all again while singing. Opera gave it a 10/10, which is why its on this list.
- 11. Snakes on a Plane
- The title is pretty much self-explanatory. As the title suggests, the movie involves lots of snakes on a poor-service airplane which allows snakes to be transported in addition to human beings. This movie has a lot of nipple biting, snakes, mothers-giving-birth-to-baby-on-airplane scenes and Samuel L. Jackson.
10-1[edit | edit source]
- 10. Lady Gaga
- The Movie
- Enough said.
- 9. Grim Ripper Superstar
- The Film
- Adaptation of the Black Metal Opera with the same name, written by Varg Vikernes during his time as a backing singer in Abba, it highlights the difficulty the main character, The Grim Ripper, has in finding true love, due to the fact that he ultimately has to kill all his soul mates. The film was most successful in Iran, grossing over 20.000.000 Iranian Rials.
- 9. House of Tax
- Four hours of Paris Hilton running from the IRS naked. 98% of viewers turned to stone after three minutes of the film. The other two percent were instantly blinded.
- 8. Yu-Gi-Oh
- Internet
- This movie is yet another satirical approach at the great and popular series Yu-Gi-Oh, which is about grown men playing children's card games – IN AMERICA!
- 7. Pokemon
- The Movie
- Herman MacPikachu (played by Sylvester Stallone) and Edward J. Charmander (played by Nicholas Cage) journey to Bombay, India to become movie stars! Unfortunately, they never get there due to a rampaging Godzilla coming the opposite way.
- 6. Alien vs. The Beatles
- The world's favourite thriller about aliens combined with the world's favouriee band equals utter garbage. Paul bursts out of a girl's chest. John is impregnated by an alien. Ringo is a facehugger. George has a crush on Ripley. Only for Beatlemaniacs … since I'm one, I think I'll go see this film.
- 5. MUSICAL! The Musical
- We open on a giant musical flying in; a thousand Vietnamese orphans swarm the stage, and the music starts. "Musical, Musical, Musicallittyittytittyittytwittyusical!"
- 3.14. Hannah Montana Movie
- Pretty self-explanatory.
- 3. Home Alone 6
- A fifth sequel to the once funny franchise, in which the writers completely abandon the concept of having a child as the central character, or making the film good.
- 1. Disaster Movie
- Honestly, that movie sucked.
- 0. Lady Ballers
- An insult to America, to intelligence and also to the common sense Republicans.[1]
