User talk:SysRq/9

This is an ARCHIVED talk page. Please do not edit this, or I WILL kill you.

Alright, deal.

I think I said I was coming back sometime closer to this Friday, but my week has just opened up and I think it's safe for me to come out of hiding now. Good to be back, Englameristralia. That's all I got, rape away. sirsysrq @ 00:52 Nov 5

Can't rape you when you've already spoken...

Also go vote! Also, YAY! OBAMA WON!!! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:11 5 November 2008

Woo! Sys is back! Yay! (Good to see you feller). --UU - natter 09:05, Nov 5

Sissy, go vote! Hurry before we get more nasty people. Oh it's U.U... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:35 5 November 2008

WELCOME PARTY - TAKE YOUR PLACES! ~ 13:07, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Awweh, the gang's all here. Glad to be back, gize. Wuv. sirsysrq @ 14:23 Nov 5

Yay! *Hugs Sissy and never let's go* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:24 5 November 2008

Oh, you're online. And I see you're up to no good with your apostraphe use. For once, I as an American have a chance to correct a Brit. Oh wait, you're a Scot, so I guess it's not as sweet. But still. sirsysrq @ 14:28 Nov 5

Shouldn't that be "apostrophe"? People in glass houses and all that... ;-) --UU - natter 14:30, Nov 5

No you were right the first time. I'm British. I hate Scotland and everything about it and everyone in it, except me cos I'm not really Scottish. I said I wasn't English. And well said U.U.U.U.U (that's my favourit vowel. Ever!) SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:32 5 November 2008

(Moar like GLASS CELING! SUCK IT PALIN! SUCK THEM BOTH!) Hey, cut me a break. I'm using IE at school, I don't have a spell checker. In all actuality, I have attrotious spelling; Firefox just makes me sound smert. Also, edit conflict. sirsysrq @ 14:33 Nov 5

Not much of that made sense there, Sissy. And I didn't want Palin/McCain to win I certainly don't want them sucking me off. Although McCain does have experiance *Muses on that thought* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:42 5 November 2008

U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U. sirsysrq @ 14:48 Nov 5

Hey! SysRq's back. Look everyone, SysRQ's back! -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  14:57, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Hey! Mick's here! Look everyone, MiCK's still here! Hi buddy, nice to see you still around. sirsysrq @ 15:04 Nov 5

Twilight Lulz

Indeed great sysrq, there is a review for my article, however it was less than stunning, and the reviewer was clearly a twilight fan, and according to them the word "Gay" makes an article suck, so I will put it up again for you to review if you truly want to.

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Why?:Did I just read Twilight? - Old One
Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Why?:Did I just read Twilight? (resubmit for SysRq) - New one

^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 21:10, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

I shall indeed get to reviewing it. I think BlueYonder could have done a better job when it comes to giving advice to improving this article. I've never read Twilight, nor do I suspect young master Blue of having read it. His review doesn't seem biased, just not effective enough. But I'm not here to judge him (he's a fine reviewer and my choice for RotM I'll have you know), I'm here to judge your article. So I'll get to that at some point tonight. And by that, I mean tomorrow, most likely. =D sirsysrq @ 22:04 Nov 5

OI!

You've returned. You promised me music and Humiliation. I've yet to suffer either. And I Havn't had a love message yet which is undoing years of built up confidence. :( SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:32 6 November 2008

Aye, tonight, I shall work on ye song. The interview thing will take some more time, as I am still working out some problems with my feed. And you know I love you. I only haven't been to your talk page because I talk to you on Skype more than I do anyone else on this site. sirsysrq @ 14:08 Nov 6

I think you should say that louder... =D SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 17:07 6 November 2008

I talk to you more than I do anyone else on this site. sirsysrq @ 20:13 Nov 6

/Blushes. Flattery gets you everywhere. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:02 6 November 2008

Does this mean you'll keep editing our little project? | contribs | talk it out 00:37, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

I reckon. sirsysrq @ 01:47 Nov 12

UnSignpost: 3-ish November 2008

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Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

November 3^rd-ish, 2008 • Twenty-Third Issue • Better than things that aren't as good!

Address Change: Return To Sender? For those of you with your heads buried in the sand, or who choose to concentrate on writing articles, or who don't ever look at address bars, or who don't care: Uncyclopedia's domain name has been changed by evil communist oppressors Wikia. If you are one of those people, here's a brief summary of the incident: Sannse tells us Wikia have decided the domain is changing. We don't get any say in the matter, but do get to suggest ideas for the new name. Lucky us. Fuck.Wikia.Com is a popular suggestion with all except Wikia. Lots of people get angry, Zombiebaron sticks his undead head in briefly, Codeine adds a Bill Hicks clip railing against the evils of advertising, lots of people sign a petition threatening something vague if the change goes ahead. The change goes ahead. There follows an uncoordinated response, during which some users go on strike and do nothing, some users open the wiki up to vandalism, and some users get pissed off about it. The UnSignpost goes on strike for a week in solidarity, and doesn't, for example, miss another week due to the laziness of editors. Oh no. The change is of such profound magnitude, it even brought Mooses out of self-imposed exile. Briefly. Sort of. The community decides an uncoordinated response isn't working, and tries to get its shit together. There are even attempts to elect a Cabal to deal with the issues. The self-defeating nature of attempting to establish an Uncyc Cabal is not lost on some. Skullthumper solves the problem. Sort of. If you aren't one of those people, here's an even briefer summary: Shit happened. People got pissed. The world has so far failed to end. More on this ongoing situation as we get it. Probably. Glorious return to form for MrN! The UnSignpost is pleased to be able to report that, after a two-month self-imposed embargo, popular poopsmith MrN9000 has made a glorious return to using underwear references in his daily conversation! The dam finally burst at 23.06 on Oct 22nd, and all those who know him could feel and share the relief, the release of that pent-up tension and the sheer untrammelled joy of their favourite user with a pair of tits in his sig. Fellow poopsmith and genial man-about-town UU said of the momentous occasion: "you what? MrN? Oh yeah, him. Good bloke. Knows his underwear". Then he scratched his nose reflectively and wandered off. MrN himself was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press/we couldn't be bothered to interview him (delete as you think applicable), but the UnSignpost fondly imagines he would have smiled enigmatically, raised an eyebrow quizzically, nodded appreciatively, and said "PANTS!" predictably. The pants themselves were also unavailable for comment.

Check out these pages! ALL CAPS v Ban Magnet. Modus gets vaguely irked. Did we miss doing a Hallowe'en issue? From our logs: 09:26, 20 October 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.217.149.137 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're interrupting my essay writing. Unless you plan on writing my essay for me, fuck off.) 04:20, 22 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.15.244.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You, sir, have gone above and beyond the call of failure. Now that may sound like a compliment, but read it again, paying special attention to that last word. Yeah.) 18:03, 22 October 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.70.120.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Your friends do not interest us. Your sister does.) 04:57, 23 October 2008 Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs) blocked TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Intimidating behaviour/harassment: & Not The Good Sexual Kind of Harassment Either) Biopic of the Week Sexy, Pompey-supporting bureaucrat Codeine has probably banned you. If he hasn't, he probably will. Soon. Viewed as one of the most diligent and trusted admins on the site, Codeine has probably been here longer than you as well. And he'll probably be here long after you leave too. Deal with it. VFD kept article of the week French accent. Zo, you zink ze article iz zaveabeule? Zut alors! Well geurd leurck weez reewriteeng eet zen! Meurdeus, Preetiestpreeteey and 'yperbeule 'ave made a stert. Cajek ban of the week 00:43, 26 October 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Posting in the forums. You know better than to get involved in the community. Now get back in your cage.)

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Shoved through the letterbox for the one and only time by UU - natter 11:25, Nov 6

UnSignpost: 13th November 2008

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November 13^th, 2008 • Issue 24 • So close to journalism you'll be hard pushed to know the difference!

Uncyclopedian does something vaguely noteworthy in "real life" In an unprecedented development, Uncyclopedian 15Mickey20 has made a foray into media activity outside of the internets. Mickey, Uncyc's tennis correspondent, has been seen on popular-with-students-and-pensioners UK gameshow Countdown, operating under the pseudonym "Martin". Mickey has so far failed to live up to Uncyclopedia's proudest traditions, by actually being quite good at the game. Indeed, at the time of writing, he'd won several games, including what he modestly described as "an awesome numbers game, beating Carol". He also shamelessly mentioned his connection to the site in a recent episode, leading to quite literally no extra edits to the Countdown article - still, thanks for the plug, Mick! Having spent time in the company of such notable international icons as Des O'Connor (no, we don't have a page on him, so there's no link), Paul Zenon (nope, nothing on him either) and Suzy Dent (spotting a pattern here, non-UK readers?) Mickey is now Uncyclopedia's most prominent celebrity, and it's surely only a matter of time before he appears on Strictly Come Dancing or Celebrity Big Brother, and has a lurid kiss-and-tell exposé in Heat Magazine. Various "...of the month" award candidates - November's in-depth analysis Writer of the Month: There's a bumper crop of WotM candidates nominated this month for your voting delectation. The UnSignpost's own Gerrycheevers is the early favourite, having established a significant lead over this week's biopic star Mrmonkey72, several-time nominee SysRq, inactive-for-ages-but-funny Nydas, dark horse Knucmo2 and the multi-featured and multi-talented An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. But! There is still time, your votes can still make a difference! (Unless you've already voted, natch). Uncyclopedian of the Month: Controversial nominees abound here, as serial ban collector Cajek goes head-to-head with Wikia corporate mouthpiece Sannse. The hyperactive one with the light blue sig is in the lead at present. But! As with certain other popular recent votes, there is a third candidate inexplicably attracting little attention - Dexter111344, a site maintenance and VFD stalwart. Who will win? Only you can decide (and all the other people who vote, obviously). Noob of the Month: No-one. Yet. Find a noob doing something vaguely decent and nominate them please! Otherwise the UnSignpost may just have to bring back the ultimate dead horse for yet more flogging and nom Rcmurphy again. Useless Gobshite of the Month: Kip the Dip is out on his own for this one so far. Having proved an exemplary gobshite for months on end, despite being cruelly denied the recognition of this award, the UnSignpost feels that his time is now, and is abandoning all pretence at unbiased journalism: VOTE KIP FOR UGotM!

Check out these pages! Mad for Uncyclomania! Logical Merge? Hyperdeletionism From our logs: 14:58, 11 November 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.118.10.166 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (idiots never learn. That's why they're idiots.) 08:09, 6 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.203.113.117 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Didn't your mother tell you not to use such bad language? Inbetween all those dicks she was sucking, I mean. ) 05:04, 6 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.46.44.68 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yeah, I agree, this site is the worst. Tell you what, now you don't have to edit here ever again! Aren't I the best admin ever?) Biopic of the Week Mrmonkey72 is another stellar addition to the Uncyc ranks this year. This highly evolved simian's natural habitat seems to be UnNews, where he's settled with impressive speed, although he's not above writing the odd high quality article as well. And with a Foolitzer Prize and a WotM nom already under his belt, who knows how far he'll go? VFD kept article of the week Odd. Surely there's some potential here folks - one talented writer, or failing that anyone with enough time on their hands, might want to add copious sprinkles of funniness dust to this strange confection. Glorious Return of the Week Hey everyone, SysRq's back!

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MrN9001 12:55, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Thanks!

Reindeer thanks you for voting! Personnally I don't know what that guy was so worked up about. I just wanted to correct his mistake...

You big fag! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:13 17 November 2008

SysRq!

♥! Also, hi! I seriously need to get over my massive streak of writer's block/procrastination. Would you wanna collab with me? =D also, I really want to to get using Illogicopedia again, we need as many users as we can get as we've moved away from Wikia and we've got an article improvement drive on top of that =P —talk 15:15, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

Get off my turf, bitch! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:21 18 November 2008

Hey Fag, I actually just put up quite a few article ideas, and if you wanted to work one of those with me I would appreciate the help. Head on over to my werks page and look at the last three; tell me if you like any of those ideas or want to work on one with me. Good to see you. Cheers! sirsysrq @ 19:46 Nov 18

Oh my god you tottaly just blanked me! :'( SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:34 18 November 2008

Oh, you're here. I didn't notice. =D sirsysrq @ 21:22 Nov 18

OMG, a Fag/Sys collab? I'd like to see that. Actually, I'd just like to see anything by Fag or Sys. Get to work, guys! --UU - natter 22:23, Nov 18

er no. he promised to collab with me! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:24 19 November 2008

Damn, is there going to be a fight over me? please let there be a fight...... —talk 12:32, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

/Me slaps Sissy with a white glove. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:35 21 November 2008

Oh yeahh :P this should be interesting. Shirts off! Shirts off! xD —talk 12:37, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh, I had a great idea for an article! Practical Plumbing for the Desperate Housewife. What d'ya think of that as a concept? —talk 12:37, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

I don't know. The title conjours and amusing image of the red haired one from desperate housewives getting soaked from a burst pipe. But that could just as easily be a memory. What about my wag idea? You know cos I'm gay and it's all about me. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:42 21 November 2008

Orian, I can write articles with you and SysRq, y'know :P. I want to do the WAG article with you. I'm in dire need of a comeback article or two :P —talk 12:44, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh so it's like that is it. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:49 21 November 2008

I can take you both at the same time if you want... *cough* —talk 12:51, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh right so, what like a sandwich type thing (with Sissy at the bottom), Or two on one or... Geeze! Theres too many possibilities! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:55 21 November 2008

Sys, you have been officially gayed. Again. This happens rather alot, doesn't it? And also, yum, sandwiches! Filling, anyone? —talk 12:58, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

You want mayo with that filling? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:59 21 November 2008

Oh, I fill you. Oh god, that pun didn't turn out right. —talk 13:00, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

@ Fag's idea: I like it. Lots of room for innuendo. Let's do it. Make it under your namespace if you like, or we can do it at my place. We could also have intercourse. I mean, we could...get some work done together? Hm? Work on my plumbing? God, I suck at innuendo. sirsysrq @ 15:20 Nov 21

Gay cabal of uncyclopedia anyone? :P —talk 13:02, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Yeah! But not really. Gay people don't exist. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:03 21 November 2008

You guys, how about we just have a massive three way? Or we could all have sex with each other. On a serious note, I want to do a collab with both George and Fag, but not necessarily a three way collab (that could get messy). On an even more serious note, penis. sirsysrq @ 14:28 Nov 21

My names Orian! God, George just sounds so unsexy. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:13 21 November 2008

Ah, sorry. I just know you so much better as George. Hey, read this! (I dunno if you'll get it, since you're a Brit and all.) I think this may be my comeback article. sirsysrq @ 15:16 Nov 21

Who? I'll give it a read and see if I understand -- but don't count on it. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 17:15 21 November 2008

Don't worry, I'm English and couldn't understand it much either... anyway, here we are! —talk 18:03, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Sounds groovy. I'll take a look at it when I want to. sirsysrq @ 20:05 Nov 21

UnSignpost: 20th November2008

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Now with 20% more ninjas!

November 20^th, 2008 • #100/4 • Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

UnSignpost Stumbles past 6 month milestone Uncyclopedia's premier periodical, the UnSignpost, has somehow managed not to fade away and die for over 6 months, which should probably merit some kind of special edition, but meh. In true UnSignpost fashion, the editors noticed this about 2 weeks late - the Signpost having been so gloriously conceived (and never was a word more aptly suited to this juvenile-as-all-get-out publication) by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek back in early May. The first issue rolled off the presses on May 8th, bringing you such earth-shattering news as "Rcmurphy nommed for Noob of the Month again" and "Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed", as well as establishing Signpost tradition with "Spacefiller of the week" (something about Grand Theft Auto). The editor's office here at USP should probably have had a revolving door installed, having been occupied at various times since Cajek and Skull abandoned it by THEDUDEMAN, Gerrycheevers, Heerenveen and some other numpty - although this is small change compared to the number of delivery bots and boys that have thrust the latest issue, still warm, through your letter flaps. Over the months, many other contributors have helped to keep the UnSignpost in its deserved position of "only weekly-ish newspaper on the wiki" - possibly by being so lame that no-one wanted to bother doing another one. And, having brought you such shattering exclusives as "Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek", "Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce" and "RC takes home NotM", the UnSignpost shows no sign of speeding up. Maybe one day, the unstoppable forces of apathy will finally overcome those who still labour under the impression that people actually care about seeing block log entries and biopics arrive on their talk page weekly, and the UnSignpost will grind to a halt. But until then, it will continue to bring you all the old news you've already seen somewhere else, whether you like it or not! UnSportsPost By ace sportshound Enzo Aquarius. In response to quite literally some demand, your ever-topical, finger-on-the-pulse UnSignpost brings you all the latest sports news that's unfit to print! NFL - Detroit Lions lost again bringing their record-breaking award-winning losing streak to 9, with their last notable points scored in the 2004 season. Lions followers are confident their team can break through once the team's brains are reverted back to Windows XP Basketball Edition. Big thumbs up and grins boys! NHL - Unlike their Lion brethren, the Detroit Red Wings are in the lead, as always. Then again, their conference is full of NHL expansion filler, so what can you expect? But hey, San Jose is up as well, so uh...yeah...good for them. Good for them. NBA - LA Lakers are up with no losses in their belt, but anybody east of LA doesn't care anyways. Uhhh....132 points scored by New York...good job guys. Football/Soccer - See, there are so many freaking teams and conferences that you just can't keep track of all of them. Then again, Japan beat Syria 3-1. Talk about a non-stop action high-scoring game! MLB - Training time, the high-gravity chamber has been set, Goku will be pitching. It's also time to bring in the young blood who will only play 1 game in the 2009 season.

Check out these pages! Who judges the judges who judge the, er, turkeys?. Through the fire and the flamewars?. {{tl|merge}}?. From our logs: 23:37, 17 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.122.136.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking is bad. Even in New Zealand, or as we like to call it "Australia Lite") 23:32, 17 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 90.208.113.67 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Browser hijack links piss me off. When I'm pissed off, I ban dickheads. You are a dickhead.) 09:37, 17 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.19.184.109 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Those who can't do, critique. Poorly.) 04:13, 16 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 138.130.147.91 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ( * 04:11, 16 November 2008 (hist) (diff) Santa Claus‎ (←Replaced page with 'FUCK OFF!') -- I know one kid who's getting coal this year...) Biopic of the Week What is it you look for in a 'crat? Is it diligent banstick wielding? Is it a list of featured articles as long as Spang's talk page? Is it having his own award, that he deigns to bestow on those he deems worthy? If it's any or all of these, Mhaille's yer man. If it's not, I dunno, try Olipro, or something. Cajek ban of the week 08:03, 16 November 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a big dick ‎ (<Sawblade5> RAHB take care of http://en.uncyclopedia.co/index.php?title=Special:BlockIP&ip=Cajek) "Writer of the Month" of the Week. Last heard from in any capacity on this site in January 2007, Imrealized was your WotM for September 2006, with an unheard-of-these-days 19 votes (and Severian liked him so much he voted for him twice). And with a triumvirate of articles like Paradise Lost, Smells Like Teen Spirit and Rorschach Inkblot Acid Test, (not to mention WWJJD?) it's easy to see why. Cabal news of the week There is no Cabal news of the week.

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MrN9001 20:50, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

Review request reply (LULZ! ALLITERATION!)

Okay, first of all, how in God's name did you know my eyes are blue? You outside my window? 'Cause I've got a big dog, and if I so much as whistle she'll tear your lungs out. Second, really sorry, I'd love to review it, but I've never heard of that guy. I've actually been rather lax about reviewing lately; really need to get back to it. Sorry, mate. BlueYonder - CONTACT

No worries, buddy. Thanks anyways. It's hard to find bloody Americans on this goddamn shitty shit shite site. sirsysrq @ 19:02 Nov 23

And that's a bad thing because? ;-) --UU - natter 20:49, Nov 23

Fucking americans. Cluttering up the place. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:43 23 November 2008

You have no idea how much I'd like to say I live under that flag. BlueYonder - CONTACT

Actually, Sys, I took a look at that article, and although I'm a rare Brit who is vaguely aware of Rooney (enough to get the Cobain and Homosexual references anyway), I'm not sure I'm familiar enough with him to do the full review. I thought I'd drop by though, and say that I quite like it, and think you're well on the way, and it's nice to see another Sys article at long fucking last! I do wonder if you could be a little more subtle in places though - more undermining him by what he's saying that having him explicitly explain things. The bit about his public "apology" a little over half way springs to mind here.

I like the rambling, that fits, and I like the ideas you're mashing together, and I think this is going to be a very good piece to return with. Hope you get a full review, but maybe this will tide you over until you do! --UU - natter 20:52, Nov 24

Thanks babe. I'd still like a good review from someone else who knows who Rooney is, but that's good advice and I'll probably make a few changes now. Also, USA! USA! sirsysrq @ 20:55 Nov 24

*poke*

Just a gentle reminder that User:Fag/Practical Plumbing for the Desperate Housewife is awaiting molestation :P —talk 18:33, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

It will happen today, my friend. My attention thus far has been directed more towards other articles. I will go shower now and then I will work on said plumbing article. Cheers! sirsysrq @ 18:36 Nov 27

Hey, before you go, check out my Aristocrats article, it's finished ^^ —talk 21:45, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 27th November2008

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The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

November 27th • Issue 26 • The newspaper it's tough to swat flies with

Uncyc shall go to the Ball! The seasonal tang in the air, the anticipation on the faces of Uncyclopedians everywhere... it can only mean one thing: The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is upon us again! The popular annual celebration of all that's good about bad taste is hoping to provoke a slew of skewed satire and give those foolhardy enough to volunteer as judges a colossal headache. And a good laugh, of course. To whet the appetite, let's take a look at some of the cream of last year's competition: A bunch of aristocrats fucking. Awesome vid Pacific War The Bureaucrats (Joke) Why?:Use a wooden condom Yup, standards are that high, or low, depending on your point of view, sense of humour, religion, shoe size and taste in hats. So jump to it! If you can make the judges laugh even as they vomit up their own entrails, you could be in with a chance of winning the glorious title "Aristocrat en Regalia", as well as the undying jealousy of the other entrants you so satisfyingly routed. Or you might lose. Asked for quotes, organiser RAHB quipped "I'll probably get on it sometime tonight, if not tomorrow", while official judging type Modusoperandi added "my memoires are riddled with mind expanding shit". {{username}} claims millionth victim Stalking the articles, forums and userpages of Uncyclopedia like some kind of bad metaphor with legs, the notorious {{username}} template has claimed its millionth victim. The individual in question (who shall not be named because this publication is trying to write an article about {{username}} without actually using {{username}}) was innocently browsing through Uncyclopedia's debating rooms, looking in at the progress of such worthwhile literary endeavours as the incrementation project and the attention span test, when the vengeful template struck! "It was there, in front of me, an accusation that I was teh gheyz", the hapless victim told us exclusively. "Such hard-hitting slander had to be addressed, and addressed immediately, so I clicked the edit button, and launched into a passionate and vitriolic defence of my unquestionable heterosexuality post-haste!" Ironically, it was the length of this diatribe that finally revealed the subterfuge. "It took me some time to compose a suitable riposte, listing at length my many dalliances with members of the opposite sex, my subscription to Playboy and my utter distaste for the movie Brokeback Mountain - in fact it took so long that I was logged out from my account" said the sap. "So when I hit the preview button to behold my comeback in all its savage majesty, what should catch my eye but the <insert name here> message that betrays {{username}} abuse? I felt so embarrassed, the only logical course of action I could take was to sell my story to a newspaper with a global readership - you did say you'd pay me for this, right?" Shortly after this point, the interview was discontinued due to a disagreement between interviewer and interviewee. Asked for a final quote, we were told "fuck {{username}}, and fuck you too!" - a comment that speaks volumes about the suffering this terrible template is capable of inflicting on the unwary. {{username}} was unavailable for comment, and remains at large, ready to strike again.

Check out these pages! Don't be a dick? How do you measure up? "{{Oh dear}}"? Oh dear! From our logs: 12:14, 26 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 118.101.59.19 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Excess stupid detected. Initialising idiot smiting mechanism) 18:21, 25 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 198.20.32.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You only sort of suck, now. Come back when your sucking ceases.) 00:13, 23 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of A power level over 9000 ‎ (Vandalizing Cajek's userpage. You should be ASHAMED. Also, Skull said this bantime actually works. Let's see!) Biopic of the Week Holy Cheese, it's Necropaxx! From humble beginnings (starting out as just another notch on Famine's banstick), cheery, Grim Reaper looky-likey Necropaxx has stalked his way through the site, creating quality features, a bunch of images, and a growing portfolio of helpful reviews. Just don't diss the cheese, OK? He worships the cheese. VFD kept article of the week Yam - c'mon folks, it's tuber humo(u)r. "A yam will totally kick your ass if you call it a sweet potato. I'm not kidding." Doesn't that just make you want to rush in there and give it the magic rewriting touch it needs? Unactioned image request of the week User:Sycamore/Mephistopheles - "I kind of want it to be a bit like Goethe's character Mephisto, but maybe with a "Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones" quality - I'd really like something with the whole transformation from a poodle to the student bit or some of the character qualities here." for Sycamore. Anyone with photoshop feeling helpful? Cajek ban of the week 12:31, 24 November 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 17 minutes 21 seconds ‎ (What is this thing about blocking you anyway? And why aren't I in on it?)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 21:11, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

A Sandler thankings

THANK YOU FOR SANDLER VOTE!

BlueYonder is very grateful that you decided to vote for his Adam Sandler-related UnNews.

He is so grateful, in fact, that he has forwarded the event of your voting to Adam Sandler as the idea for the premise of a new movie. Be assured that you will be played by Scott Halberstadt and that there will be plenty of jokes about the nature of your genitals.

This template is made of 2% plastic and 98% sheer laziness. But you probably noticed that. BlueYonder - CONTACT

Andy Rooney

Hey SysRq,

AMAZING.

Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 23:20, 2 December 2008 (UTC)

OH MY GOD IT'S MDL!! *studio audience applause track* Where you been, buddy? Here to stay? You liked my article? Yay! sirsysrq @ 01:39 Dec 3

Many Thanks

For nomming my UnNews. It's really litle more than a quick reaction to the current British zeitgeist, and deserves something more - there are just so many more targets for satire here than I could achieve in the time I had available. Feel free to poke, add to and generally improve. Asahatter (annoy) 21:56, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

I thought it was a fantastic article, and I think it's going to do very well on VFH. Keep writing, buddy! I think you've really got potential as evinced by this most recent work. I look forward to your future articles, god knows this site needs more articles like the ones you write. sirsysrq @ 22:30 Dec 4

UnSignpost: 4th December 2008 (yea, we know it's late)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

December 4th • Issue 27 • Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Sycamore: How does he do it? An UnSignpost Special Investigation Sycamore. What words waft gently into the back garden of your mind when you hear that word? "Tree", perhaps, or "unusual, propeller-style seeds", if you're of a naturalistic bent. Maybe (although we admit it is highly unlikely), the words "song by really obscure Scottish rock band Deckard" will sneak in under the fence. But for those of an Uncyclopedia nature (and let's face it, that should include all those reading this, or the paperbot's malfunctioning again), the words are likely to include: "Scottish"; "omnipresent"; "recent changes fiend"; "reviewer extraordinaire"; "categories"; "ban patrol"; or possibly "who?" if you're out of the loop. But who is this masked Celt? Well, since changing identity from MMACKNIGHT‎ in March 2008, he's racked up an impressive 18,000 edits (or he will have by the time this paper is actually delivered - it's hanging at 17.940-odd at the time of typing). Many of these edits have been thanklessly categorising pages, voting for deletion, reverting and ban patrolling - the kind of soul-crushing work, in other words, that would sap the will to live of the average individual, but not our Syc. His efforts have not gone un-noticed. Indeed, he's been re-nommed for Uncuclopedian of the Month, even though he's already won the award. And despite the understandable reluctance of the non-existent cabal to swell their non-existent ranks, there is a small but significant groundswell of opinion gathering that this should be followed by the bestowing of a Banhammer on the cheery Caledonian. All of this is interesting, of course, and handily fills up column inches in this week's issue, but it doesn't answer the burning question: how does he do it? Once again spending no expense on uncovering the truth, your fearless UnSignpost has the answers, and they lie in his welcome message, and a gratuitous stereotype of his nationality. Yes, Jaffa Cakes and Irn Bru are the fuel of choice of this salutary Scot, and it would appear that the chemical reaction of these two volatile substances in his bloodstream creates an energy level easily the equivalent of at least a small-to-medium Hadron Collider. This is sufficient to cause in him a state not unequivalent to that Scientific Holy Grail, perpetual motion. So there you go kids: that's how he does it! Warning: Your safety-conscious UnSignpost would like to point out that Irn Bru is only known to have this beneficial effect on Scots. Those from less tartan countries would be advised to steer well clear - don't try this at home, kids! From the Cabal's desk Greeting citizens. This post does not exist. We are not addressing you from this paper. We do not exist. We do not sit in dark corners, smoking expensive cigars and smirk when we see you make mistakes. Mistakes on this site do not exist. We do not watch your every step with our ban hammers poised for actions. Mainly because your edits don't exist. We are not tired by your petty dramas and wonder when will you write some new classics. Simply because you do not exist. You are not reading this post. We will not meet again next week. This was not the cabal's weekly address to the citizenry. Keep the peace, obey the cabal. The cabal is your friend.

Check out these pages! TKF v BHOP: an acronymious battle The inevitable bandwagon A history lesson, and RAHB's penis again From our logs BUMPER SPECIAL: 07:24, 3 December 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You've got to stop taking vacations like this. They get in the way of the valuable contributions you make to our site.) 00:40, 3 December 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Fat hideous cunt (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Codeine why are you using socks to vandalize us) 18:25, 2 December 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.146.0.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (We love niggers. My best friend is a nigger. My wife is a nigger. And when I have a son, I hope he'll be a nigger rather than an IP) 19:57, 1 December 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.184.39.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Regardless of what your girlfriends may have told you, orgasms are real) 18:18, 1 December 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a Country/Folk musician ‎ (When I see your name on my block log, I think of a song lyric by Townes van Zandt, if that means anything.) 18:03, 1 December 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a penis ‎ (When I see your name in my watchlist, I think of penis. And that's not always a good thing.) 21:03, 30 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (That's for editing a year old topic and making RAHB think there was actually something exciting happening. Bastard.) 20:37, 30 November 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (That's for editing a year old topic and making me think there was actually something exciting happening. Bastard.) Biopic of the Week There's beautiful, there's downright gorgeous, and then, beyond even that, there's Prettiestpretty. Blessed with writing talent to rival her boundless good looks, she has edified us on the delights of the Queef, the significance of the Colossus of Barbie, and much more besides. Long may she lend her grace to Uncyc! Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week Tact: I love you too, honey, I just wanna finish this level. ... Well, I've been at this all night, and it's the first time I've gotten this far in the level, and I can sleep with you anytime I want. So shoo.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 19:10, 5 December 2008 (UTC)

Review

Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

Thankee muchly for the review...I was kinda running out of ideas for the article so i needed a fresh take...thanks for the genuine comments. Ill proofread it and stop keyboard mashing to get a date and generally do what uve said. Thanks!!! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Flare (talk • contribs)

Haha, thanks muchly for the award. And no problem. I'm genuinely interested in seeing how this article turns out. We always need new articles, as well as new, talented writers. I'm one of those guys that believes that writing is something that can be developed through hard work, despite my own God given talent that nothing can compare to. (Sarcasm is funny!) I'd love to see you stick around and really work at writing, because you obviously have some great ideas that can be developed into fine, quality articles. If you want, I can continue to coach you as you develop your writing for a nominal fee. If you're not interested, then just keep on writing and I'll watch from a distance. Good luck, buddy! sirsysrq @ 20:08 Dec 6

I don't know what you've written but Sissy's (that's what I call him cos he's a girl and I'm straight acting) right, stick around, have pie. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 22:58 6 December 2008

The AAN thingy sounds pretty cool if you could take the time to look at my stuff from time to time. I really do need to improve my writng scills (diliberate mistakes please dont hit me!) could you be more specific abot your nominal fees (its either a joke thats made a wonderful "whooshing" sound as its flown past my head or devious plot to steal my pies NO dont steal the pies nyooooooooooooo).....– Preceding unsigned comment added by Flare (talk • contribs)

Its spiled RITING dumass. And yeah, if you wanted to be my noob I'd love to adopt you. The "nominal fee" thing is a joke; Rule Number One around here is that we never stop joking. I mean it. We never stop. That's why a lot of people leave after a few days...we drive them away with our sarcasm. But I think you have some major potential and I would love to offer you constant advice, coaching, and my undying love and affection while you learn the ropes around here. I'll make with the templates and make things official. In the meantime, you can run down to the store and bring me some lunch. I said march! Oh, and do you get on IRC much? I'd love to talk to you there so I can better coach you. sirsysrq @ 21:57 Dec 7

umm...no I need to install some program thingys which I will have to do later...Ive started going over the article with a red pen of doom/spellchecker...Ill probs have most of the really obviously stuff out of there by tomorrow including the list which I have torn up, thrown at a wall, smashed down the wall, burned the wreckage and jumped on the ashes...me do good?...Flare 22:47, 7 December 2008 (UTC)

Yes, good. Like I said in the review, lists are bad. But remember that writing is to be the least of your concerns on this site. What you need is an image. We're gonna sex you up a bit, make you a userpage, a sig, and an IRC client. (Actually, these things should happen, but yeah you're still doing what you need to be doing: writing.) I think you can get on IRC using the web client as well, try clicking Uncyclopedia:Chat. Message me if you have success, and I'll get on to talk to you about my plans for your Uncyc future. sirsysrq @ 22:55 Dec 7

on CGI:IRC #uncyclopedia....Flare 23:09, 7 December 2008 (UTC)

So what am I invisible? Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:33 8 December 2008

Are you? sirsysrq @ 00:39 Dec 8

Can you see me pulling down your pants? Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 01:12 8 December 2008

Can I? sirsysrq @ 01:26 Dec 8

Can you feel it, it's so hard. I mean seriously, this belt buckle -- did you weld it shut? Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 01:29 8 December 2008

Did I? sirsysrq @ 01:32 Dec 8

Im sorry Orian I will have a pie thank you muchly....Flare 20:09, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

Hey. also if ever sissy isn't around feel free to ask me for help. Also also, could you click the "Christmas" box in my sig and read the story that I'm developing there. come round to my talk page and let me know what you think. Or here if you want, It's just nobody's talk to me in ages. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:19 9 December 2008

And on a completly unrelated note...

This made me smile:

Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:19 9 December 2008

Cute. =] sirsysrq @ 01:19 Dec 9

Isn't it? Also call me on skype. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 01:56 9 December 2008

Eh, too late. Schedule has been busy as fuck, English teacher is kicking my ass this week. I'll see when I can get on. sirsysrq @ 14:12 Dec 9

Oh shure blame you're inglish teechir. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 17:31 9 December 2008

UnSignpost: 11th December

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

I love it when the news comes together

December 11th • Issue 28 • The truth, the whole truth, and nothing

Colin breaks #uncyclopedia By SysRq At approximately 7:01 EST, Colin "All your base" Heaney officially fucked everything up yet again. IRC was engaged in what started out as a naturally occurring, all-caps LOL train. However, being the little faggot that he is, Colin decided to join in, effectively making it not funny anymore. This reporter, being an expert witness in cases of dipshittery, quickly came to the conclusion that "Colin makes everything suck." However, Uncyclopedia's resident shitstain did not stop there. He proceeded to incite bizarre and violent urges within members of IRC, causing them to commit unspeakable acts. This reporter, under Colin's influence, killed both of his parents; deadpidgeon and MrN9000 both became homosexuals as a result. Colin himself was then found to have been responsible for every case of unpleasantness throughout history: the Holocaust, 9/11, and abortion. As other users unknowingly joined the channel-turned-warzone, they too fell victim to Colin's faggotry. Users were eventually transforming into furries and fucking each other with "furry Disney dicks" just before this reporter relocated to a safer distance. Needless to say, there is now sufficient evidence that everything stupid and gay and unfunny is, in fact, Colin's fault. Chicks, man. By Regret Tenenbaum Hot Chicks. Just the words start your heart racing and your mumble mumble. Hot chicks have long failed to receive the ample, under-wire support they deserve here on Uncyc, and if it were not for one, soft-drink based, visionary noob, the femmes fatales of Uncyc would still be a saggy, wrinkly mess. Now all the babes, sexy ladies, foxy chicks, MILFs, and, yes, even magical anime girls, rest in the palm of your hand, throbbing with their new-found intellectual networking - WikiProject Hot Chicks. When asked how the aforementioned n00b came up with such a brilliant idea, he responded: "I don't know what UnSignpost is, my motivation for starting U[N]:WP Hot Chicks was because I thought it was rather humorous, I would like to be adopted, and in Soviet Russia, all your base are belong to YOU !!" (Doctapeppaman was promptly given a stern spanking for such irresponsible use of memes). The project has already succeeded in tagging several sexy talk-pages with the WikiProject Hot Chicks seal, thereby rating them on a random and baseless scale from A- to D-Cup, and the project will most likely be a success, considering the high ratio of users to perverts present on the site. Perhaps, one day, the project will achieve its primary goal - making every article without enough pictures of scantily-clad women into an article about cheesecake.

Check out these pages! Have yourself a neurotic little Christmas Will anyone notice another template around here? Lawyers struggling for work in global recession From our logs: 02:14, 10 December 2008 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.142.37.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hi. Welcome to Uncyc. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here. We did too.) 13:16, 8 December 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.43.6.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 15 years ‎ (congratulations! You'll be back when OJ is out of prison. Let me know he gets a parole before that) Codeine (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wild sweaty orgies" (If anyone's gonna write an article about these it'll be me. I've done the research.) Biopic of the Week Far more than just a definite article, THE is a veritable cornerstone of the site, spoken of in hushed tones wherever people gather together to discuss prolific authors with ALLCAPS usernames only three letters in length. From computer expertise and nature documentaries to frankly ludicrous amounts of UnNews, THE covers all bases. And he won the WotM at the twenty-ninth time of asking in January 2008. Vital Question of the Week If we put blatant space filler in this box, will anyone notice? Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week Week Box of the week - by far the most classic Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week, "Week Box of the week", was featured in the very first edition of the Unsignpost, and for some reason that only the classic writers of the most classic Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week know, Week Box of the week spoke not of boxes, as you weak-minded simpletons might believe, but of something higher - Dr. Skullthumper or Cajek's "humor juice".

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MrN9001 21:15, 11 December 2008 (UTC)

I still wub you!!!!

Yeah, IRC was eating up entirely to much of my time. I had to quit it cold turkey. I still read here, but RL has left me feeling less than funny of late and I've nothing really to contribute. Still, I check my messages and whatnot so if you ever feel like chatting or sumthin just drop me a note. Fag. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:37, 16 Dec

Meh. At least you should get on Skype or something. sirsysrq @ 00:40 Dec 17

Balls. I used to be on Skype but it was rotting my teeth and I had to switch to heroin. I'll check into it. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:33, 17 Dec

Cool. That's become my new hobby with Orian. We found a good source. sirsysrq @ 22:38 Dec 17

coaching and stuffs

hi...sorry i havent been in touch...ive been revising for exams latley... we talked awile ago about improvng my articles and stuffs and im letting you know im still interested about it...i really want to imporve...anyhow let me know........Flare 23:53, 16 December 2008 (UTC)

Sure thing. So, are you looking to work on that article some more or would you be interested in some creativity training? Perhaps you should get on Skype or IRC so that we can talk without trying to catch each other on talk pages. sirsysrq @ 00:42 Dec 17

/me runs naked through the chatroom screaming

Heya, did ya miss meeeeeeeeeee...? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:08, 17 Dec

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! Yesh I did! So, did you hear the news? Santa's coming! sirsysrq @ 01:09 Dec 17

NO?! And I just did something naughty... *starts crying* I'll only have coal this christmas... *sobs*

So who am I kidding?! I got me a LIMITED EDITION custom engraved iPod already!111!!!!eleven!! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:22, 17 Dec

Limited edition? What's that mean? And I just happened to buy my 80Gb iPod one week before they switched to 120Gb iPods that were the same price. sirsysrq @ 01:30 Dec 17

It's a bright shiny red 8GB nano with the gift giver's custom ordered laser engraving on the back wishing me happy christmas :) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:58, 17 Dec

Aww, how sweet. My question is, how are you going to fit any music onto 8Gb? sirsysrq @ 02:04 Dec 17

By adding only the very best. I've got an 8" laptop for the rest after the holidays ;) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 02:27, 17 Dec

I like having all 6000 of my songs for my fluctuating moods. I really do listen to all of it, too, that's the thing. =] And what? You're getting one of those gay netbooks? What the hell? I don't really like those; then again, I like running programs. That's why I'm getting a MacBook Pro for a graduation present. sirsysrq @ 02:42 Dec 17

What in the bloody hell is a netbook? I want something I can carry 100GB or more of stuff on and edit stuff that the weird Vista laptop bug disables and write stuff on while traveling. It's mighty heavy to drag a 4 kilo 17" laptop that's over a year old and can still run the newest graphics editing softwares across an ocean, ya know?! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 02:48, 17 Dec

Eh, I dunno. You just said '8" laptop' and I heard 'netbook'. What kinda notebook is it? And please tell me you're not running Vista on any of your machines... sirsysrq @ 02:51 Dec 17

Yes, a 64bit Vista is the mother of a lot of my troubles recently. I've got a 17" Acer Aspire 9300 series that's so pimped out it can handle CAD softwares and of course some of the newest games I like. The thing I was thinking of getting was one of those smaller Acer laptops that runs on XP, since it'd be good enough for me to drag along with me overseas... I travel a lot these days... My airmiles will soon justify a whole lot of first class toffery ;D Ain't it sweet? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 16:07, 22 Dec

who won the competition?

who won Forum:You've always wanted to be able to openly fight for my affection. Now you can.? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Docile hippopotamus (talk • contribs)

That depends on your definition of "win". If by "win" you mean "win", then Leddy won with this mess. If by "win" you mean "lose", then Kingkitty won. Oh, so did Colin. I would have posted the results, but nobody cares. Next year I'll figure something else out. Or perhaps this will become a twice-a-year type deal, I was pleased with the results. I dunno. But all awards have been handed out. Check talk pages. sirsysrq @ 00:52 Dec 19

One request here for Untunes

Would you please record UnTunes:Do They Know It's Kwanzaa? I really need a singer who will sing this song. I talked to RAHB and he doesn't have time, so can you? -- |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 07:26, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Aye, give me some time to do it, though. Today, I'm off to hear Handel's Messiah, and odds are I won't be back in time to really devote any time to this today. But I will do so soon. Looks like a fun one, I'm looking forward to recording this. sirsysrq @ 14:53 Dec 21

Merry Christmas

Bonner would like to wish you a Merry Christgame And a happy New Game P.S, You just lost the game (Bonner) (Talk)

Happy Hanukkah

PARTY LIKE IT'S 5769

if you're not Jewish, party anyway

Happy Hanukkah from Rabbi Techno
NOW START DRINKING

---

A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS!

	Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
	It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:26, Dec 21

Lo Saturnalia

PARTY LIKE IT'S SATURNALIA!

Io, Saturnalia!- Eat, Drink and treat your masters with disrespect!

Happy Hedonism from the Saturnalicius Princeps
NOW START DRINKING JAGERMEISTER WHILE WEARING UGLY SWEATERS AND SILLY HATS

---

I honestly thought Abortion was going to place first in the "bad taste" article contest, with Gay Jesus trailing slightly behind. Great work. --DrStrange 12:35, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Thanks buddy. Seems you and RAHB are the only ones that share that sentiment, though. sirsysrq @ 20:06 Dec 23

BITCH, PLEASE!

I'd just like to say to you, <insert name here> Merry/Happy/Already with the happy! Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus/Capitalism, bitch-nizzle! and other mildly offensive things that make self-respecting white-people cringe with disgust. -Colin "All your base" Heaney

STUFF THIS DOWN YOUR STOCKING!

	Yo you, yes you, I'm talking about you! It's that time of year again. Yep, time to spend hundreds of dollars on loved ones, dress up your house and raise your hydro bill and, most of all, time to fill each other's talk pages with templates that took us 2 minutes to make. SO STUFF THIS DOWN YOUR STOCKING!!!! and have a happy holidays!
	...or a Chappy Chanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, Tet, Ramadan, Festivus, or whatever you so decide to celebrate in order to get more gifts. Enjoy! Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate

During this season...

Yeah Happy/Merry whatever you believe/ride off to get presents from us at the Church of Assholes Who Make Fun of Churches of Assholes--Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:27, 24 December 2008 (UTC)

MerryChristmas!

	Merry Christmas, dudes!
	Santa "Metallica" Claus and Necropaxx want to wish you a very merry Christmas, and to always rock around the Christmas tree.
	Don't forget the egg nog!

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 19:42, Dec 24

Here's Your Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas 2008 From Sawblade5

Here's a Potato Christmas Tree For You!
Caution the Grue protecting this tree!

---

--—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Sawblade5 (talk • contribs) 07:58, 25 December 2008 (UTC)

Punch!

	Thanks for the card and Happy Boxing Day! So that's it for another year... now it's all turkey sandwiches and packing up the presents to sell on ebay. So take advantage of this last day to have the traditional punch-up with your family.
	-- sannse esnnas

Happy Christmas

That's right, I said happy Christmas. Screw the traditionalists with their "Merry" Christmas. I dated a Merry once and let me tell you, she was no gift (although she did know how to stuff a stocking ifyouknowwhatImean). Anyways, yeah I'm late and all but I hope your Christmas was enjoyable. I love you. Fag. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:19, 26 Dec