Free Downloads!!
HEY DO YOU NOT WANT TO NOT NOT INCREASE RAM ON YOUR COMPUTER??? ARE YOU RUNNING OUT OF HARD DRIVE SPACE?? THEN YOU WILL LOVE[1] FREE* DOWNLOADS!!
It's so easy you don't even have to think! In fact, don't think! Just CLICK!
FREE* DOWNLOADS will not not be putting not less memory not off of your computer! AWESOME!!!!!
FREE DOWNLOADS are the best things that have ever happened to the internet! Get yours today!
Jeez, computer screen, how do I get my grubby little grabbers on them FREE DOWNLOADS??[edit | edit source]
Quit your jibber jabber, close your iTunes, and listen to this rap!
All you gotsa do is:
- Download
- Don't pay a cent[2]
- Enjoy your FREE DOWNLOAD!!
Isn't There More To It?[edit | edit source]
Well, I'm glad you asked! There IS more to it, but it's as easy as 1, 2, 3![3]
- Register with the FREE* DOWNLOADS software
- Download you FREE* MEMORY!![4]
- Tell 4[5] of your closest friends
- PROFIT!!!
These people are your new friends![edit | edit source]
Don't believe us? Sounds too good to be true? It is too good to be true! FREE* MOTHERFUCKING[6] DOWNLOADS!
But here to make you believe us anyways is an ordinary guy just like you!
“I was out of luck. My family wouldn't pay for my rent anymore, my car was repossessed, and I had nowhere to go. Then I heard about these FREE* DOWNLOADS. I got as many as I could carry and hustled down to the bank. I got instant cash! You too can have instant cash with FREE* DOWNLOADS! Oh god...why am I doing this? Will you please just feed me now? I have no money left...”
Non-important stuff that has nothing to do with your FREE* DOWNLOAD[edit | edit source]
- ↑
VictimsDownloaders may or may not retain the ability to feel love, or other human emotion after downloading free downloads. - ↑ Downloaders may or may not find themselves paying many many cents.
- ↑ 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and possibly 9
- ↑ "Memory" in this case refers to a potpourri of viruses which will nestle themselves into your computer's firmware
- ↑ thousand
- ↑ These downloads will not have sex with your mother
STILL Not Signing Up? Read Testimonials From Our Past Customers![edit | edit source]
"i wuz lookin to downlode lots a Toby Keith music but i wuz runin outa room. so i saw an add fore this here site and i did wut it sed, and now not only can i downlode moar Toby Keith i also get lots of emales that say luvly stuff like 'life is beutiful'. thanks free downlodes!"
Sharona Mae Jackson, Whispering Pines Trailer Park
"i AlWaYz Be ChIlLiN aNd GeTtIn Me SoMe HoTt SlUtT pOrN nAh MeAn? BuT iT aLwAyZ bE tAkIn SpAcE uP oN mY cOmP, sO i DiD wUt AnY HuStLa WoUlD dO aNd GoT mAh GaNgStA AsS uP oVeR tO dA fReE dOwNlOaDs SiTe. Yo MaN DiS sItE wUz dA sHiTt!! nOw dEy gIvE mE oLd PeEps PoRnO fA nO cHaRgE wIdDoUt Me EvEn HaViNg Ta LoOk It Up!!!"
D-Mac Gomez, Pleasant Summit Suburbs