User talk:Magic man/archive2

This is an archive. Don't edit it, punk.

Leave a message, or else...

And chocolate

Thanks.

Old(er) stuffs

Archive one - I come to the wonderful world of Uncyclopedia. Get yelled at alot (not really yelled but just told I was doing something wrong). Get some spam from spam man. And a dance from Dancing dude. I write some articles, revert some vandals, which gets me nomed for Uncyclopedian of the Month (I failed), and an honorary 2nd dance from Dancing dude. I start reviewing, writing requested articles, and getting the the UnSignpost. Halloween comes and goes, And I become 2nd in command for the grue army. I get thanked for voting on VFH, UGotM, and Uotm, judge the aristocrat's turkey day ball, join Imperial Colonization, and for some reason get a death threat from Poiz. Not necessarily in that order.

New(er) stuffs

• Archive three ~ I get "eaten", a penis lollipop finds it's way to my mouth, talking in Japanese, I judge the happy monkey competition, vote whoring, I adopt a noob, a poem-off between me, Al, and Mimo, I make two banners for the happy monkey competition which never get put up, I send off the IC Silver Age, I move Dinosaur on my own, voting thanks, talking in greek, I get into potatochopping, I get another article featured, April Fool's Day comes and goes, I spill coffee on my modem, Dinosaur gets featured and I get half credit, I get a "Pantsless Ninjastar", Another n00b gets banned for being a vandal, then comes back, and I get nommed for PotM. A bunch of other stuff happens, but none of it is interesting.

• Archive four ~ I am informed (by myself) that I am an asshat, make Lollipop a birthday card, show PoopManPoop a magic trick, get into the hall of shame (because I get UnNews:Old people more likely to die, study shows featured), my birthday comes and goes, make some Donald Trump related images for JelloMold, I put fruit (now fruits) up for VFH (it fails), write Uncyclopedia:What VFD is not for UN:REQ, get a "Yukky Ninjastar" from JackOfSpades, Aleister gets skunk featured, I get promoted to the rank of High General in the grue army, I listen to Elton John's version of Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, Lollipop tries to de-red my talkpage, more trump related images, I'm really unreliable over at UN:PR, I have my unbirthday, I get Visual puns featured and a whole bunch of people talk about it, I win reviewer of the month, I bother Skully with my quotes, I write an article for the UnSignpost, I get thanked for numerous things and Hypnotist and Inbox also get featured, but that's not reflected here, so don't go looking for it.

• Archive five (hey, that rhymes) ~ I call myself a dumbo, which is then confirmed by Lollipop, I sort of help write Horseshoes (game), I rewrite Fruit like twenty times, Shabidoo makes Lyrithya proud to be an Uncyclopedian, I collaborate with Black flamino11 on Sun (which later gets featured), I get Mini-golf featured with Mattsnow, my team and I get 1st place in the Uncyclopedia Summer Extravaganza, Lollipop writes UnPoetia:A Visit from Satanbear, I enter Hearing impairment in the PLS, I get Subliminal stimuli featured, Shabidoo asks me some pressing questions, Bizzeebeever tries to kill me with an axe, I become a poopsmith, I tell everyone that I'm a gymnast, Halloween comes and goes, I win UotM, I visibly bounce around talk pages with Shabidoo and Lollipop, I poopsmith incorrectly a couple times, I write Lawn mowers, I go back to my old signature, and I win WotM (but that's not really reflected in there).

You're an ass hole

You really are. --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:06, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Who is? 1234 ~ 02:14, 21 December 2010

Him --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:15, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Can you prove it? 1234 ~ 02:48, 21 December 2010

I have pictures if you want them. --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:58, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Please. I don't think I can believe you otherwise. 1234 ~ 03:06, 21 December 2010

There proof:

--Magic Snow man ☃ 03:54, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

O_o 1234 ~ 04:03, 21 December 2010

I know weird huh? And he always seemed like such a nice guy too... --Magic Snow man ☃ 04:07, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Rather hairy, that asshole... odd. 1234 ~ 16:49, 21 December 2010

Just another reason to hate him. --Magic Snow man ☃ 18:06, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

INVOLUNTARY ANAL SEX

BAHA. PENIS EVERYWHERE. Jenny? 02:36,21December,2010

I... Um... Wow... Thanks? --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:37, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

You should be honored, for you have experienced your very first Uncyclopedian rape. Jenny? 03:49,21December,2010

I am very honored. It's just... It was so... So... Quick... --Magic Snow man ☃ 03:54, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

M&M

Whoa! This must be the first time I edit your talk page. It feels so... so... bad. Anyway...

I was feeling bored so I made this template. Merry Christmas!

Why not? --M&M (christmas mood) 16:33, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, wow... Thanks. --Magic Snow man ☃ 18:03, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

This is it... the 100th UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

Dec 23rd, 2010 • Issue 100 • Now with added bragging rights!

The UnSignpost hits 100 By Chief So here we are, issue number 100. The newspaper with the most haphazard group of editors and paper... people in the world has successfully spammed talk pages 100 times. This makes now the perfect time to look back at the UnSignpost through the ages and see the motley crew of visionaries, drug addicts and lunatics who have made the UnSignpost what it is today: damaged beyond all repair. The UnSignpost had a beginning, like everything: it was in days of yore when Uncyclopedians fiddled in the street.... in knickerbockers, Mordillo was a new-ish administrator and everything had a rosy sort of tint to it; Uncyclopedia was indeed not as bad as it is today. Two enterprising young Uncyclopedians, Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper, came up with the idea for a newspaper, a newspaper that would tell lazy people what was going on on the wiki, thus encouraging them to continue being lazy. At first, Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper made beautiful music love UnSignposts together and even considered making the UnSignpost a twice weekly paper... yeah. However such a partnership could not last forever, as nothing does except jam, and eventually Dr. Skullthumper departed the UnSignpost. Last time someone asked him about the UnSignpost, he said, among other things: "We had no idea what we were doing" which reassures us that nothing has changed in the interim. Cajek pushed the UnSignpost onward and it was good, until it wasn't any more, at which point DJ Irreverent took the wheel. Nobody has seen Cajek for years now, so being rational people, we can only assume he is sailing round the world in a boat powered entirely by Mars Bars, though we can tell you that he once said "You know, those shoes you see on telephone wires?" which should give you some food for thought. However the DJ was unable to maintain the UnSignpost for long, and he was obliged to leave; after all, in accepting the responsibility, he opened up a can of worms. Then how could he let sleeping dogs lie after he let the cat out of the bag? After all, if you change horses in the middle of the stream, next thing you know you're up the creek without a paddle. Which explains why he left; the balloon went up. After the DJ went belly-up (yes I'll stop this now) Under user decided to have a go... he strapped on his pads and hit the UnSignpost for six (OK, I'm definitely done now) - six issues, to be exact, and then wandered off to get married or some such nonsense, leaving the UnSignpost in the hands of Gerrycheevers. Gerry maintained the paper splendidly until UU came back again and enlisted the help of some more hip and happening users to help him actually know things. UU remained in the editors seat, mostly, and writers like Socky, POTR and Guildensternenstein dropped in to help now and then when UU's creativity failed him. We can't list everyone who turned up as we hate most of them, but they are lovingly remembered on the main UnSignpost page. Finally the stress became too much for UU, and he fled the office via an upstairs window. When he woke from his coma, we showed him the UnSignpost and threatened to beat him with a stick if he didn't give us a quote on how excellent it was. He said, "Boringly, I love the ol' Signpost, and will probably return to it one day ... But I have written the most issues, across 3 separate stints on the paper, and sheer quantity has to count for something, right? Anyway, I'm glad to see Chief continuing all the proud traditions except late delivery, and am idly wondering how long it'll take before he too crumbles like a dry reed in the face of its relentless news-hunger". So hurrah for the UnSignpost, 100 issues to match up with the hundreds of writers with issues who have contributed to it. See you in issue 200! The UnSignpost:A few words from someone you don't know. By PuppyOnTheRadio Hang on. Did I read that last bit correctly? 100 issues? Wow! Given that it takes our beloved paper boys about 2 hours to deliver the Unsignpost, that means that's 200 hours spent delivering this, not to mention the time and effort put into making this unperiodic periodical over the last 2ish years. So that would mean it's a combined total of multiply by 2... carry the 1... take away the number you first thought of... 2 months worth of work that has gone into the creation of this glorious publication. And it's that attention to detial that makes the UnSignpost what it is.

Check out these pages! Still need more! It's coming! But How? But Why? Christmas Songs From our logs, best of Modusoperandi: 23:25, January 24, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.14.255.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (2 days for blanking, 1 day for not being pretty like me) 20:09, September 7, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) resurrected Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Consistent and focussed approach to awesomeness) 15:45, September 14, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.246.126.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanker: Go blank yourself! Hah! Do you see what I did there? I'm a font of wit.) 4:01, July 26, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Not A Good Username360 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (He asked me a question. Outrage!) 14:47, July 26, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 hours ‎ (I banned a guy for too long this one time. Then I had nachos.) 11:01, July 18, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.187.224.60 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You fill me with rage. Also, lust. *Blush*) 06:10, November 17, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Frozen Korpse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Yes, Mordillo is the worst. That's no reason to be rude.) 18:26, October 1, 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 205.144.32.250 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Excessive vanity. That's my gig, bucko! I'm devastating!) 19:45, August 11, 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Dxbn (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're a boob. Not the good kind, either. If you were, you'd have a nipple right 'there'. Just the thought of you being the good kind of boob makes me a little hard.) Biopic of the Week Rather than come up with another user to biopic, the UnSignpost has decided to biopic itself once again, making it the first... thing to have been biopiced twice! (Except {{USERNAME}}, but that doesn't count, don't ask why, it just doesn't) We here at the UnSignpost were absolutely flabbergasted when the news became known and an editor exclaimed "My gast is truly flabbered". We would like to thank the academy, you the readers, us the writers, the people who put the fillings into Mince Pies and the person who invented the Jelly Baby. However, The UnSignpost rarely votes on VFD, never contributes to the site except to spam talk pages and generally has been writing essentially the same thing for almost 3 years, which is exactly what it should be doing. If you regularly read the UnSignpost, get a job so you have less free time and stop being so limber and stress free; if you regularly write for the UnSignpost, get a job so you have less free time. Well done, UnSignpost, and may you persist in all the poor practices that have made you what you are today. Anniversary UnSignpost of the week Believe it or not the UnSignpost had a birthday, only the one, but here is the last time we devoted an entire issue to talking about ourselves and how awesome we are when you sit back and think about it. Mince Pie update It's all go over on Under user's page as the festive mince pie race gets into full swing. UU himself has consumed 39 festive treats at the time of going to press, lagging behind Roman Dog Bird who has guzzled a whopping 52 mince pies at the time of going to press. Meanwhile, ChiefjusticeDS has only managed 25 and is just happy to be involved in something that involves other people for once.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 06:50, 23 December 2010

Are you on!?!?

I'll be going to bed soon, And I need you to take my place against this annoying troll. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 02:05, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

To be fair, it probably wouldn't be doing that, or at least nearly so much, if you hadn't declared war on it. Folks will remain entertained so long as someone entertains them, otherwise they get bored after awhile. 'Tis the way of things. 1234 ~ 02:09, 25 December 2010

/me yawns --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 02:10, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

You like making more work for the administrators, eh? Lucky them. 1234 ~ 02:15, 25 December 2010

You just had to revert me... --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 02:16, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

Well, you do seem to like vandalism. Apologies; I'll stand out of this. 1234 ~ 02:18, 25 December 2010

Could you try to get an admin to end this foolishness? I've gotten all the flaming and stuff ut, and now he's just becoming an irritation. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 02:20, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

Roman Dog Bird is an admin, you know... aren't any on IRC, though. I already looked. 1234 ~ 02:23, 25 December 2010

Please tell him that I've gotten it all out and am ready for him to be banned. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 02:26, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

I'm here! What do you need? --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:30, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

Revert anything IP 92.8.44.42 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser) does. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 02:36, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

You may also want to generally be paranoid of any IP starting with 92 if you aren't already... it does like to come back. 1234 ~ 02:37, 25 December 2010

Ok, I'll see what I can do. But you do know he's banned, right? --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:38, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

Problem with proxies, that. Tend to come back. Still, this one tends to come back mostly just when antagonised, so meh. 1234 ~ 02:53, 25 December 2010

Well in that case, antagonise antagonise antagonise! See? I antagonised him. --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:55, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

Heh... but seriously, playing with the trolls is rather silly, at least when it makes a bigger mess. 1234 ~ 03:08, 25 December 2010

I know, I actually don't do it. And to tell you the truth, nothing against you Meganew, but I really hat it when people do. --Magic Snow man ☃ 03:11, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnReviews:Seven Kingdoms Conquest (2nd opinion)

I could see that you had committed to reviewing my article, but another user already did it. I'll still value your opinion, that's why I created this page just for you. Be in-depth please. --Scofield 10:21, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I'ma have a talk with him; that wasn't even an in-depth review, either. People, these days... don't even read the guides... although I should probably start reading them myself just so I can properly berate folks. Iffy, otherwise. 1234 ~ 15:16, 27 December 2010

Also, Magic man, a word - if you do book reviews, please don't up and vanish afterwards. I know I'm not a shining example, myself, but the 24-hour rule is there for a reason; if you can't do it, please leave a note, as otherwise it blocks things up in the queue.

If,however, you have died in the meantime and won't ever be returning, something of which we will probably never know, er... apologies for all the horrible things I have said, and stuff. But if you are still alive and reading this at somee point, uh, disregard that. 1234 ~ 16:33, 28 December 2010

Ya, I knew there would be something about that on here... Anyway, I'm really sorry Scofield and Lyrithya, my computer broke. I'll do the 2nd opinion one soon... --Magic Snow man ☃ 19:39, December 28, 2010 (UTC)

Aw, crap... you are alive. *hastily puts things back on the shelves and makes a hasty exit* 1234 ~ 20:48, 28 December 2010

Yippie, whoo whoo

The goat article is on VFH, and a goat is actually standing guard over the votes. It's kind of scary. Your pee review helped alot in terms of picking up the weak spots and rubbing my face in them. If you wish to vlote yes, thanks, and if you vote no, thanks for the review, and if you don't vote, thanks for the review and for not voting no. Goats. Aleister 14:34 27 12

Yippie, whoo whoo! Thanks, you pumped new life into the page on VFH! All the goats will visit you and say "Blaaaaaa Blaaaaaaaa, snufff, sniffle, Bleet, Blaaaaaaaa" and you will remember it forever! Al-I'd love to get it featured just because of that one guy-eister 1:45 29 12 MMX

You're welcome. --Magic Snow man ☃ 01:48, December 29, 2010 (UTC)

Random hug attack

*hug-tackles Magic man*

With huggles and muffins for all! And stuff. This is thanks, of a sort, for all them good things you've been doing, the improvement you've shown, the moustache you completely neglected to notice I'd drawn on you, the... er... nevermind. Anyways, keep it up, love. 1234 ~ 23:48, 29 December 2010

I... Um... Thanks? --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:27, December 30, 2010 (UTC)

^^ 1234 ~ 03:08, 30 December 2010

O_o --Magic Snow man ☃ 18:27, December 30, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost, UnSignpost, eat it right here...

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.

Dec 30th, 2010 • Issue 101 • The periodical with just a hint of pie.

Awards of the year By Chief As Christmas fades into the deep darkness of memory and the New Year hurtles towards us so quickly that experts have predicted it will reach us within a few days, thoughts inevitably turn to the Yearly awards. Well, the thoughts of we here at the UnSignpost do; if yours don't, then you aren't committed to this site enough. The yearly awards are: Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Potatochopper of the Year. These highly imaginative awards are hotly contested affairs with up to 3 Uncyclopedians being nominated for each! While voting will not be open until early January you can already begin to think about who you want to nominate. The voting will be open until the end of January, hopefully, maybe, if we remember/are nominated. So prepare for the excitement, bribery and boredom fun. Vote, vote and vote. In all seriousness, there are some really deserving users around here and if you can't think of anything, then you need to get involved. Now to balance that out: Bing boing whoopsie knickers. Lolpoo By Chief Those of you who frequently watch the village dump may have spied, nestled amongst imaginative topics like "I r haz a solushan 4 all teh speeling prooblams on Uncylopedia!!" and "MY PENIS IS BENSON", the topic about the Poo Lit Surprise competition. As the forum topic suggests, the competition is expected to start in January on the 18th. The PLS is arguably the biggest writing competition in Uncyclopedia and judges are still needed to help out, just check out the forum topic if this is something you want to do. The controversial, drama causing, admin harassing problem associated with the PLS last time was the issue of a cash prize for the winner, and clashes over various entries to the competition and the related financial consequences caused problems for the competition and contributed towards Mordillo's 200th mental breakdown of the year. This year crafty Scot Sycamore, who has been coerced into hosting the PLS, has decreed that the winner may nominate a charity to which an unconfirmed sum will be sent on victory. Any further winnings may be withdrawn from your bank account with your credit card and redeemed at most shops. The competition starts on January 18th and we are lead to believe will close 14 days later, however we cannot confirm this for reasons that we are unable to confirm at time of writing and going to press. It's that simple.

Check out these pages! It is complete! Got a problem? Moar votes plzzz From our logs: 16:41, December 26, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.10.118.29 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (What's that under the tree? Why - it's a gift you overlooked! Whatever could it be? Well, how about that - it's a ban!) 21:08, December 28, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.4.116.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Sets off my arsehole detector. Don't ask why I have one.) 10:28, December 25, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 143 seconds ‎ (Merry thing you don't celebrate old chap! Hope the presents you didn't get would have been fantastic!) 22:15, December 24, 2010 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.2.208.36 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Did I just accidentally start a gang war between myself and some kids from Scotland? Cool beans.) 18:20, December 28, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.32.12.212 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Simon IS a naughty boy but it's not for you to tell) Biopic of the Week Bananas, bats and beach balls, what do these things have in common? The answer of course is Lyrithya, who, let’s face it, is just plain weird. Obsessed with everything from masturbation to mastication and from coding to cunnilingus... OK I made some of that up, but the thing about Lyrithya is that you don't know what I made up and what is the whole gruesome truth. That aside, Lyrithya seems to successfully spend more than 24 hours on Uncyclopedia every day and seems to be attracting the attention of the majority of the user base, like a lone woman in a room full of sexually frustrated quasi-rapists, which she is. But why not go and say hello if you haven't already? The response will baffle you, but that's half the appeal.... isn't it? Newsroom UnTune of the week Won't Get Banned Again

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 21:40, 30 December 2010

Childrens picture book

Did you want to do with this what was done with UnBooks:Where do babies come from?. The basic layout of the book is the same - image then some accompanying text - and just requires a little tweaking. Upshot of it is that it brings it all down to one page, so minimizes reloading, but still keeps the same feel. And the hard work has been done in the book is written, and the code has already been done elsewhere. I would clean up that last image though - to clunky in movement. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 03:59, Dec 31 2010 UTC

Sorry to sound stupid, but I really didn't understand alot of what you were saying. Can you say that so I can understand it? --Magic Snow man ☃ 04:04, December 31, 2010 (UTC)

Give me a few minutes. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 04:47, Dec 31 2010 UTC

Okay, as an example I have put together this with content from your pages 1 and 2.  Obviously there'd need to be a little more wiki magic done to this - book made slightly larger and the images scaled down to around 220px so that animation would work in this format, but it looks more like a kids book and saves the horrible reloading of pages constantly.  Of course we can have it that we're only looking at one page at a time but still have the tabs to turn from one page to the next.  Also, this needs some significant proofreading before it's featureable from my end, and a few other little tweaks to make it really fantastic.  Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 05:12, Dec 31 2010 UTC

What Puppy said, on the proofreading and a couple of tweeks, which can be done while it's on VFH (I've voted yes knowing that some of the minor stuff will be polished). I wanted to say that I did not look at this page before it was nommed, so some of the similarities of a picture page with kids in this article, a collab with 90s Joe21, was coincidental (we have a guy pointing a gun at the camera too, and one of the pics even looks like your "hidden" ending. These went up before I read your book. Even the name "UnBooks:Arnold Walks in The City". . .--nah, just kidding). We were going to nom it, but I think it would have to wait until your page clears VFH, who knows how receptive the community is to picture stories. Nice work! Aleister 11:55 New Years Eve MMX

To Aleister: Thank you very much for all the praise of this article. And as for your article, can't wait to see it on VFH. I'll vote for it. To Puppy: Thank you for the help, but I don't think I want to do that book thing. Too close to your article. And to tell you the truth, when I wrote this I didn't have any articles in mind, it was just a cool idea I came up with. And as for getting it proofread, I'm having that done now. --Magic Snow man ☃ 04:48, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

I just got it proofread. --Magic Snow man ☃ 05:08, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

All good. Just an idea that I had and have put into practice in the past. I still think that it could be improved with a bit of layout tweaking, but then again, I'm a perfectionist. Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 05:19, Jan 1 2011 UTC

Here you go.

	World's Best Friend December 2010

Friendly award for a friend, I suppose. Congratulations. 1234 ~ 01:54, 1 January 2011

Yay! --Magic Snow man ☃ 04:48, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

	Magician of the month December 2010

Here you go again, Mr. Winner Fellow. 1234 ~ 05:41, 1 January 2011

Yayish! -- 05:49, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

Dance sign up page

I got it made here. --Dancing dude 14:58, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

Um... Great... -- 01:43, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Vote fur mah article!

Pweez? -- 01:42, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Ahhhh! It only needs three more votes before it's at ten! Which is about when an article usally gets featured! So please please please please vote  For. on my article!!!!!! -- 19:36, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

You whore. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 04:12, 3 January, 2011 (UTC)

I know right? I'm such a whore I even whored myself for votes. -- 04:27, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

Yes... you really did... 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 04:50, 3 January, 2011 (UTC)

Yes... I really did...

P.S.

Thank you for that comment about me doing well at whoring. I wasn't shure if I was doing it right (seeing as it was my first time. Well actually no, that's not true, I whored Aleister once for a vote on VFS (it didn't work). So ya, second time whoring for votes). But evidently, I was. -- 04:57, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

I can't say I approve of it, however. It's... begardly. Making it out like the only point of writing is to get features... 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 05:41, 3 January, 2011 (UTC)

Okay, I didn't see the extent of it before, but... don't you think you might really be overdoing it? o_O 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 05:49, 3 January, 2011 (UTC)

I don't remember that sandwich, but what probably happened is that I ate it instead of voting for it, which would have then seemed after-the-fact. The concept of whoring, to me, is just to ask someone to read a page that's "up" for a feature vote. So many pages get nommed, and not everyone keeps up with them. If I were ever to whore I really don't want someone voting for a page without liking it, say, for example, HowTo:Go into the light, which is more call-girl quality than whore quality. A call-girl with heels that she keeps on, the whore. But seriously, a good whore just points out her stuff by dressing the part, and it's up to the buyer-beware to approve or pass on to the next fine lady. Aleister 11:27 3 1 '11

To Aleister: I understand. And don't worry, I always made shure to tell them to vote for it if they liked it. To Lyrithya: Yes I think I did. I didn't mean to though, I was only gonna whore untill it got ten votes, then I was gonna stop. But I didn't realize it had ten votes untill much later. So yes I do think I over did a little bit. -- 15:10, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you

Thank you very much for your vlote at Writer of the Decade So Far. Very appreciated. There are so many good writers here, now and in the past (Have you ever read Hardwick's stuff!?), that it's nice to be even listed among the current crop. Thanks again. Aleister 11:30 3 1 '11

Your welcome. And I don't see why not, everything I've ever read by you I've liked. Which is more then I can say about most of the other writers here (I don't even like some of the stuff I've writen). -- 15:13, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks! Have you read HowTo:Go into the light, hint hint nudge nudge. On your UnBooks, per Lyrithya, why don't you change the name to just "UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city!" by cutting off the second section of the name, and see if you can win that vote back from our local stirrer-upper. And if you don't like some of the stuff you've written here, maybe go back and polish it. I've noticed that the more I write and read here, and then go back to read my older pages, better edits, links, and wording more-often-that-not emerge. Comes with the territory of continued writing I suppose. Thanks again for all the sketches of those naked girlfriends of yours. That one you say you like to call "Melinda" but "her real name is Julie" is particuarly intriquing. Aleister 13:55 4 1 '11

Well it's not really I don't like them... It's just they're not perfect (but with me they may never be). And about the name, I was thinking about renaming it "UnBooks:Penny hunt!" What do you think of that? -- 15:31, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

Just came back on for a few minutes and saw your note. You've really been working on the page, and I look forward to reading it anew when it's completed. Nice. It's fun to polish a page until it shines (like a penny!). I like the "Let's take a walk in the city" name because it describes the action, it shows what's on the pages to come and sets the stage very well. The children's picture book part isn't really needed. I see you've been given a challenge on VFH, and have taken the challenge! Way to go. The page will be much better for advertisty. And have you noticed that 90s Kid21 nommed the Arnold page you reviewed and helped suggest pics for! Lots of activity going on at Uncy the past few days, a real post-New Year's hyper fix, which usually occurs everywhere after January 1. Interesting phenomena. Aleister 4:34 5 1 '11

Very Interesting... Anyway, I have been working hard on the page. It's hard work (siting at my computer, typing in code) but I'm also enjoying it. And by the way, I'll vote for the Arnold page on VFH. -- 04:41, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

I won't interrupt anymore, except now! Hahahahheeheeheh ha ha. Hee.Ha. You were a part of that page as well as 90s Kid21 and myself, nice work. Eeek. Code. Until I wandered into this site I never really knew how to type in even the simplest of code, which is all I can do now but at least things emerge from it. Signing off for now, enjoy the coded music of the night. Aleister 4:58 5 1 '11

No wait! Come back! I need your help! I moved the first page, but now the rest of 'em won't fucking move! Can you move them for me? Move the second page to UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city!/2 The third to UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city!/3 And so on and so forth. Then the hidden on move to UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city!: Hidden epilogue Thanks. -- 05:09, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

It doesn't let users move more than a couple of things at a time - anti-vandalism measure, which is useful against certain vandals but also very annoying when trying to rename a pile of things. I moved a couple, but... yeah. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 05:26, 5 January, 2011 (UTC)

I made all the images 300px (except this one and this one which were much too big at 300px), I tryed to make the transitions much smoother, added two pages, a couple images, and moved the page to a shorter name. So let me ask you: Is the page better now? Will you go back to an Abstain or better yet a for? -- 05:49, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

It did seem better, though in need of a proofreading... I'll give it a proper look-through when awake. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 07:14, 5 January, 2011 (UTC)

Ok, when I have time I'll get it proofread. And then you can give it "a proper look-through". -- 17:02, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Actually, I was going to do that as I went, but the more look-throughs the better, really. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 17:21, 5 January, 2011 (UTC)

OK, well after you're don proofreading it, I'll run it through an online proofreader. -- 17:53, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

A... what? If that's what you've been using on your welcome messages, I'd advise against it. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 18:19, 5 January, 2011 (UTC)

A spell checker. And no I haven't been useing it on my welcome messages. -- 18:34, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Your web browser doesn't have one? O_o 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 19:10, 5 January, 2011 (UTC)

>.< I'm so confused... -- 19:13, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Ok Lyrithya, will you change you vote now? -- 20:22, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Maybe. It is rather improved from before, that's for sure. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 23:17, 5 January, 2011 (UTC) Oh, okay. Well I hope you decide to. -- 01:40, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

Listings of users

Hello. I notice you've added some users to the list. A suggestion, at least how I've been doing it, is to only add people who've been around for a reasonsable amount of time and who have made a solid impact on the site. We could list hundreds of minor users from all the past years, someone who was here for two weeks and made 60 minor edits. I've found and not added many of those. Just an idea for future add-ins, the ones you've put in seem fine, of course. I'm talking about past users from 2005 to now whose names you may run across in various places. Aleister 3:33 6 1 '11

Okay, thanks. -- 04:17, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.

Jan 6th, 2011 • Issue 102 • Just add Milk!

Wiki Update By Chief So it would seem, considering Uncyclopedia has successfully staggered its way into a new year (and its 6th birthday on Janurary 5), that everything is working as it should; this raises the question, why? Well, we at the UnSignpost love a challenge, so we have investigated the salt mines of Uncyclopedia to see the inmates users who are currently labouring in them to produce the site we all know and love. VFD is working splendidly and has recently held a minor games purge. If you missed out, shame on you. Watched over by Sycamore, it is edited continuously by a few others who have been hitting the random page button in search of crap to rewrite for months, if not years now. Over on UnNews, SPIKE is also labouring in the place of UnNews grandmaster, the right honourable Zim ulator. Meanwhile on pee review, Lyrithya and Black flamingo11 have been shouldering more responsibility than they know what to do with, reviewing and checking the infernal tables and generally filling the void left by somebody trying in vain to get a life. Now for a quick moment on the forums.... that's that over with. Recent changes is also empty because Socky has stopped categorising absolutely everything and everyone else is.... writing. Romartus is still shattering hopes and dreams on VFH and we hope to be able to bring you this exact same piece of news next year. The admins are of course splitting their time between overseeing the whole process and abusing their powers for giggles. If you work like a dog for Uncyclopedia and you haven't been mentioned here, it's nothing personal; it's just you aren't good enough our journalists are easily distracted by loud noises and flashing lights, so perhaps you live too near a lighthouse.... or a level crossing. From the desk of the Cabal:Compliance recommended for 2011 By Nobody It has not escaped the notice of the non-existent Cabal that Uncyclopedia has successfully survived another year, and the Cabal, of which there is none, orders all subjects to have a happy new year, or else. It would seem that you ignored our ruling of last year where we instructed you to comply at every opportunity and issued a decree banning drama. In 2010 we saw range blocks and epic ban sprees (to purge the ballot boxes and thus purify democracy), we witnessed mass deletions (necessary losses), we observed hundreds of forum topics declaring Wikia to be the worst (Wikia are to be obeyed despite this), we watched as you persecuted the weak, stubborn and female (to build the master race) and took note of your single success, that of closing the worst 100 reflections on 2010 before midnight on December 31st. This took you two years; it does not count. In short you have failed us again. So as 2010 fades into distant memory, we turn our eyes to 2011. We have the following advice: question nothing; you are meddling with powers you cannot possibly comprehend; remain indoors; do not attempt to remove the cameras from your dwelling they are for the protection of the community; drive safely; stay in school/work; shut the fuck up and go write an article; provide your bank details and PIN when asked. That is all citizens, you may now move freely about the complex.

Check out these pages! Writer of the Year Uncyclopedian of the Year Potatochopper of the Year It's here, but we're still confused! From our logs: 09:56, January 1, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Famine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (by blocking Famine, do I end world hunger? No need to thank me, just bring me a pork pie.) 12:35, January 5, 2011 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1.673 hours ‎ (For helping me with my email - smart arse.) 17:06, January 4, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.32.193.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (reverting admins and other experienced users for no good reason, also for annoying me on a tuesday, the worst day of the week to annoy me.) 23:05, January 3, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.32.193.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Stop that, on the path of the righteous edit warring is not, Swindon that way lies) 07:42, January 4, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.131.23.226 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (His habit of replacing words with "COCK," "JESUS" and "CHRIST" is so funny my hand slipped and accidentally hit the "BAN" button) Biopic of the Week This week, the UnSignpost has once again put off actually having to find out something about a user - going to their talk page, reading their articles; this is the same as work. Instead we have decided to biopic last year because that means we can make lots of generalisations and you all get to be included in the biopic, unless you joined in the last 6 days, in which case, where the fuck were you? In 2010, all sorts of fun things happened. We appointed new administrators, we reviewed lots, then we didn't review at all, we all left because of drama in summer, then we all came back again, then the FBI phoned An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and all the administrators started drinking even more, except Zombiebaron who came back and we all welcomed him, what a splendid fellow. We fought in the street, we fought on talk pages and we fought in the village dump, then we went to Wikipedia and fought there, then the servers broke so we all came back here and fought with Wikia. Then we sulked. Happy New Year! Mince Pie of the year UU ate more mince pies than anyone else over Christmas. Well done him, he wins at heart disease. We look forward to hearing of his premature death unloved and miserable thousands of miles from home.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 09:57, Jan 6 2011 UTC

Oh, right...

I forgot to mention - You, sir, are probably now some sort of member of PEEING. As in, those last two reviews were just fine, so you have the requisite and I moved you to the appropriate table and Chief can do all the stuff he does that actually looks pretty and official-like and that you lot probably care about. You may need to poke him, though. I dunno. I never actually joined PEEING; he approached me awhile back like he used to approach all the decent-looking reviewers who had managed five in-depth ones (back when there were any, anyway. I think you're the first in two months to qualify), but I refused.

Then he abducted me against my will. 1234 ~ 16:43, 8 January 2011

Actually Chief said I have to do one more then I'm in. So... Ya... -- 22:02, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

That was probably before the last one had been checked... the tables sat you have five. Pretty sure that's the requirement... isn't it? Ah, hells, I don't even know. I mentioned I'm not actually a part of any of this, right? 1234 ~ 22:18, 8 January 2011

Ya but he said some of them wern't in depth. -- 22:25, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, you've done 8 reviews, five in-depth, three not. YOU'RE BLOODY WELL IN, DAMMIT! 1234 ~ 22:27, 8 January 2011

Er... sorry. That... um... really sorry about that... *backs away* 1234 ~ 22:29, 8 January 2011

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO BLOODY MEAN DAMMIT! -- 03:41, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean it, really.

But seriously, you have enough - see here. It probably just wasn't updated at the time, or something; sometimes it takes awhile. Welcome to a wonderful realm in which people actually expect you to do well, or something. 1234 ~ 22:35, 8 January 2011

Oh no you didn't think I was being serious did you? Gosh! So many misunderstandings! -- 03:41, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

Oh and by the way, I guess you're right. Um... So... Ya... Now I'm a PEEING member. Yay! -- 03:50, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

If you had been serious, that probably would have meant I was being serious, too... er... that's a scary thought. And, er... yes. Yes, you are. I have no comprehension whatsoever why this would please you, but I'm glad it does... 1234 ~ 04:00, 9 January 2011

poem

I like your poem :) You could definately work on the meter a bit if you care about it, but I had a few friends read it (non uncyclopedia people) and its the only time they ever really laughed. --Shabidoo 13:53, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

Poem? What poem? I'm the only one who should make poems here. --~   13:58, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

To Mimo&Maxus: This poem. To Shabidoo: Well I'm glad that your non-uncyclopedian friends enjoyed my poem. And I agree, I think I could work on it some more. I've just been too lazy latley. Maybe soon... Anyway, thanks. -- 19:59, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

I'm sorry Lyrithya but I just couldn't resist this last bit of whoring. So anyway Shabidoo, If you liked that poem, you might like this. And if you like it, you can vote for it here. But don't vote for it unless you really like it. -- 00:03, January 10, 2011 (UTC)

No, that's reasonable and part of a conversation... nargle... you're like a robot sometimes... 1234 ~ 00:19, 10 January 2011

That might be on account that I am a robot. Must annihilate Lyrithya... -- 01:02, January 10, 2011 (UTC)

the grue army

actually how many members are in the army? it seems as if it should be called the grue militia...the finger that flames 00:19, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

There are thirteen active members (although Happytimes seems to be AWOL). And three allies. You, me, and Fudgemobile are the only ones who actually request plusses though. There used to be about eighty of us. But users kept dropping out, and dying going AWOL. So now it's down to thirteen (but bore like twelve). -- 00:32, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

You should put an ad in the paper, tell them how they get to see the world and more brown people to rape than you can shake a stick at...oh, thats the u.s. army, well just tell them that we have party cake, and that we are NOT lying... the finger that flames 14:41, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

Our team leader already wrote one. And it was already in the unsignpost. I wrote one too, we'll try to ge that on in the unsignpost in a month or two. -- 19:01, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

Dino

Thanks for strangling, slowly stangling I hope, the quotes on Dinosaur. Quotes seldom add to a page, and even then one or two are enough. You've done good work on dino, yay! I liked the Hitchcock thing myself, but maybe too esoteric for some readers (although "The Birds" is a classic movie, a sexual-tension film, not everyone knows it). Dino is looking very good. Aleister 18:44 11 1 '11

Well, when I feel like it I'll actually do something. Ya know, something that actually requires work. But anyway, thank you for saying thank you... -- 18:50, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

I thought you'd done a bunch on it. It seems to be almost ready for a final, unifying edit sweep. Puppy might want to do that, or I could, one of us had some reigns on Colonization at one time, then both of us did. Now, maybe Happytimes will return. What happened to him, do you know? Does anyone? Aleister few minutes later

Happytimes was a banana, right? So maybe someone ate her... -- 18:55, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

Bandwagonning, are we?

Luuuurg. 1234 ~ 03:26, 12 January 2011

Exactly! -- 15:21, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:I sneezed

1. Who cares?
2. Where's the joke?

Sincerely, Spıke ¬ 04:01 12-Jan-11

See my two comments on VFD -- 15:20, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

As far as I can tell, you didn't actually answer either, unless you reckon... mon, making things up is not inherently funny, you know. Haven't you read LotR? Author guy drones on and on about made-up stuff, and believe you me, it ain't that funny.

I'll be blunt - as I see it, your article really isn't suited to UnNews, or Uncyclopedia in general, the notion of which, at least, you should understand, considering you say in the section below that you added an ICU based on whether or not the article seemed to fit. I could give you an in-depth review explaining precisely why, but since it wouldn't be of any use whatsoever to the article itself, I'll hold off and leave it to someone perhaps a little less involved in this whole nonsense.

But your piece throws out conventions, conventions of news, of fluency, of satire, for a nonsensical ramble about a sneeze and whatever supposedly pops into the narrator's mind, reading more like a blog, or a series of Twitter posts, than anything. Uncyclopedia is not a blog... made-up or no. Things generally need to have a little more connection to something to be funny, for it is the connection to reality that usually does elicit laughs, not the absence.

On the other hand, that is generally precisely what Illogicopedia does - throws out conventions, often reads like Twitter, doesn't necessarily have any connection to reality, nor even try to be funny. A lot of it does wind up so, but it is not the overall intent. What I am saying is that this piece would be perfect there. It would fit in right dandy among the other Illoginews - with titles such as 'Bats are eating my legs', 'I'm trying to write an IllogiNews article, not really succeeding', 'This article exists', and 'Where does chocolate go? Find out by reading this crappy article!' you might get the impression that they are a random lot, and you would be right, but they also do not pretend to be any normal sort of news, just as yours does not. Perhaps you could take it and others like it there, in the future? Could save a fair amount of confusion, especially when mimicking the notions of other questionable articles... 1234 ~ 17:10, 12 January 2011

I'm sorry but I just don't see what's wrong with it be about how I sneezed. As kip the dip said, the theme this happend to me today has been done on UnNews before, so why not now? -- 17:22, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

Theme is one thing. Not having a joke is entirely another matter, but it all adds up to it would work on ?pedia. I thought I would put forth the alternative and try to save us all some drama in the future. 1234 ~ 17:34, 12 January 2011

I will refrain from right ing articles like that here anymore. But I'm not going to try to get this one removed. I will however try to make it better. -- 17:39, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for that, then, if I even take your meaning. 'Right ing'? 1234 ~ 17:49, 12 January 2011

"To try to get this one removed"? If you wish to submit it to Illogicopedia, it will be effortless to get this one removed. If you wish to try to improve it, go wild; you've gotten a free review from several people, on various talk pages and on VFD. Spıke ¬ 17:56 12-Jan-11

I don't know. Maybe I will submit it to Illogicopedia. But I know I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get it kept here. And yes, right ing. Because I'm a right er. -- 01:26, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

ICU tag

i dont know who is soley responsible for the placing of the tag but in the suggestions it tells me to make it longer, wich is completely understandbale but also there were several bullet points about funny, laughter and comedy is subjective i dont know if you did not find it funny and decided to tag me but one person may think im a complete retard and another may think its the funniest thing ever, Dane Cook is a prime example of that. so how do i make it go away? i will make it longer and i will make funnies but i think the bullet points about funny for everyone is a little unjust, it makes it seem as though if the great moderators and admins of the site do not approve of what i posted then it gets deleted and therefore takes it out of the realm of posting something for people to laugh at and just posting stuff to make the mods happy. anyway thanks for reading this far into my rant..reply if you want. i would also like to know what you yourself think i could do to make my article better, what you think could be added? im on a government computer at work right now so my access to pics and alot of shit is limited at best, i cant even see any pictures on this site for some reason. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Tj-nagasaki (talk • contribs)

Allow me to jump in here. While you're right in saying that humour is subjective, we do try to meet certain standards as outlined at HTBFANJS. I saw the article before Magic man added the ICU and would have done the same (only I went to make a cup of tea and forgot). It's not a matter of whether or not Magic man found it funny, more that it doesn't quite fit in with Uncyclopedia. Have a read of HTBFANJS, then think about what you could do to the article to improve it - believe me, we don't like deleting stuff and would love to see your article develop into something special. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:17, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

thank you, that helps me greatly i was thinking it was simply a matter of "big brother dosent like this so make it cease to exist" ill try harder. enjoy your tea when you make it again. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Tj-nagasaki (talk • contribs)

Plenty of water in the kettle - fancy a cup? By the way - if you add ~~~~ at the end of your comments, it'll automatically add your name, the time and the date. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:32, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

I'd like a cup please. Anyway, Tj-nagasaki, RabbiTechno is right, it's not a matter of whether or not I like it, but whether or not it fit's in here. As for the bullet points, I didn't write those. Those are pre-set. I just specified which pre-set message to put there. The only thing I personally wrote was the thing about how you needed to make it longer. As for how to make it better, I've actually never even heard of "Three Days Grace" before. But I think you could probably have a section about how their music has goten better over time. Maybe even have some fake (or real) names of their albums. Not shure what to do with pictures though. Like I said, I'm not an authority on this subject. But you do need some. Anyway, good luck. And I look forward to reading the article after it's done.

P.S.

U shud probly brshh up on ur gramor & speeling. I'm not verry goood at gramor & speeling myslef. Butt U shudnt try to B like me. -- 16:54, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery!

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Jan 13th, 2011 • Issue 103 • Leave to stand for 5 minutes before consuming

Voting Frenzy By Chief It's that month again, the famous voting month when Uncyclopedians gather to air their opinions on the year that has been, user contributions or lack thereof and lots of other things. The difference between this and the continuous monthly evaluation normally going on is that now we have Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year, RadicalX of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year to accompany our small selection of monthly awards/voting pages: WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Of course it is the duty of every Uncyclopedian worth his/her salt to vote and have an opinion on each and every one of the above. Having no opinion is not an option; we can't afford such luxuries, not when the very fabric of our society hangs by a thread made entirely of voting pages. The UnSignpost has spoken to experts in voting patterns and strategies and they have instructed us to encourage each and every one of you to vote for whichever candidate you wouldn't like to not unwin again! It's that simple! A quick round up on our yearly awards: over on WotY Mhaille, Sog1970 and Aleister in Chains are slugging it out blow by blow for pole position. On UotY, some Spunk bubble has stormed ahead with Lyrithya in second place and all the other deserving candidates scrapping on the floor for... er scraps. On PotY Zombiebaron has taken a convincing lead. Since we failed to ask him to comment he might have said: "Braaaains, I shall consume all brains," which leads this reporter to comment that Zombiebaron may well be on the wrong website. The best articles of 2010 voting opens on the 15th of this month and will give the hardcore voters among you a chance to get stuck in again, but this time into people's articles rather than the people themselves. Regrettable, we know, but you can always nominate them for something next month. As the voting frenzy continues, the UnSignpost will continue to watch from a safe distance and will be on hand to comfort all the winners when they realise the best years of their lives have been spent essentially bailing out the Titanic with a small mug. The very worst of luck to everyone, and indeed everything, competing. Uncyclopedia is 6! By Chief It's true, it is. Six years of crawling around the back streets of the internet begging to anyone for cash/servers/food, regardless of how useful they may or may not be. That's right, everyone, you are aboard the good ship Uncyclopedia, the only wiki that has sails and a rudder and that's a fact. The UnSignpost won't be doing anything like making up poems or getting emotional and tender about Uncyclopedia growing a year older, since some people have already shown off what big girls they are by doing just that. A quick review of said poetry: Olipro thinks it's cool and manly to swear (it isn't and his poem sucks because of it), Mimo&maxus thinks it's cool to be like Olipro (it isn't and his poem sucks because of it), and neither of them are very good at poetry (this is true and their poetry sucks because of it). Happy birthday Uncyclopedia! At least we here at the UnSignpost did the manly thing of putting on a pink apron and baking you a cake.

Check out these pages! PLS Q&A Stuff you could be doing! Another voting page! How does it happen? From our logs: 21:30, January 10, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.210.176.189 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (OMG! THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WITH A DYNAMIC IP! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!) 02:50, January 10, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Posting a comment on a locked forum topic. You monster!) 16:23, January 7, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked FuuuD: (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Nobody cares about you, your school chums and/or their love of anal (except Olipro, he's probably taking notes)) 00:23, January 12, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.112.44.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Lovely, perhaps next time you are on the wiki we could have crumpets and discuss your crippling stupidity) 03:40, January 7, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.130.126.254 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This is probably the sort of thing you'll find funny: YOU'RE REALLY SMART... (pause) NOT!!!!) Biopic of the Week Instead of trying to give you clues, this week the UnSignpost is just going to come straight out and tell you whom we are using for the biopic. We won't mention that he was adopted by ChiefjusticeDS but overcame this disadvantage to actually be quite useful. We won't mention the fact that he can sing, read and play music. We won't mention his featured articles, his Pee Reviews, his userboxes, his permanently broken user page or how annoyed it makes him if you spell the second part of his user name wrong. We won't dance around the issue any further; we owe it to those of you who have busy lives and those of you who are reading the UnSignpost while your home burns around you not to mince words, so we won't, we are through mincing words; our words are so unminced they are still going "Moo" and eating grass. So now we have dispensed with all that time wasting nonsense we can tell you immediately and without delay that this week the biopic is about John Lydon. Newsroom UnTune of the week Are We Human Or Are We Cancer?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 03:46, 13 January 2011

Don't do that, please

Yeah, some people really don't need to be greeted. Obvious sockpuppets who have been vandalizing this place for months are those people. Later. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 05:47, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

Okay. Sorry. -- 05:48, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

0_o

Where did you take this picture.... So I can avoid going there? It's creepier than Giygas xD. - Another n00b 18:21, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

Glad to know I ruined your day! Anyway, I took it in the deepest darkest forests of evil land. -- 19:03, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

What where you doing taking pictures in my garden? - Another n00b 17:05, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Stalking you... -- 20:15, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Cookie

I told you that I would give you a cookie. I was hungry so I took a bite but I can assure you it's very tasty.

Enjoy! --~   13:16, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you. -- 15:31, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Wait a minute, I think I left my gum on the biscuit. --~   15:54, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

EWWW! You are a poopie head! -- 19:38, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Double dipper! Where's my painting, you promised me a painting! Cookie looks good. Aleister 19:42 14 1 '11

Who you talking to? I didn't. But I'll make you one tomorrow. --~   19:45, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

I made one!

See? You're "In chains"! Get it? Oh! And I'm giving you a cookie. -- 20:11, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Beat this mr. Magician

We have a guitar too. --~   20:13, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Actually, I'd rather not start a flame war. -- 20:16, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Because you are going to lose, right? --~   20:17, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

No, because we'll both get banned. -- 20:18, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Both of them are great! Thank you. I owe you both poems. The guitar and the sun look like cookies too. I should go get a cookie. Ummmmmmm, guitar cookie. Aleister 20:18 14 1 '11

Tell Magic man that tomorrow I'll win him. No excuses. Bye. --~   20:21, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

How would this be/lead to a flame war? Looks like a perfectly legitimate artistic show-down to me... rather questionable one, but then again... 1234 ~ 20:27, 14 January 2011

Hmm... Well... I see yor point... Maybe tomorrow then... -- 20:30, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Tomorrow what? --~   08:10, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

I ment maybe have the show-down today. -- 21:38, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

I don't want to win you. You'll feel sad and I don't want this to happen. Poor Magic man. --~   21:42, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Actually, I wouldn't feel sad. -- 21:44, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Okay then. What about tomorrow, after lunch? --~   21:45, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

What time is lunch? -- 21:47, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

er... give me a help. --~   21:48, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

How? -- 21:50, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

er...COME HERE BUDDY. --~   21:51, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

WHAT?!? -- 21:53, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

What's so strange? --~   21:55, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

You just randomly yelled "COME HERE BUDDY". Why? -- 21:57, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Because you're my buddy. Right? --~   21:58, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Ya... But... Why do I need to come there? -- 21:59, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Cause I wanted to have some "buddy" talkin... anyway I'm going to sleep. --~   22:01, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Is it night where you live? It's not here where I live... -- 22:02, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Now It's morning. --~   07:21, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

You and me. --~   08:19, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Ok, I'll play. But we should probably QVFD all the images made for the throw-down. After we're done of corse. Anyway, this is you and me picking flowers:

-- 16:28, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

I look gorgeous. --~  19:05, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

Er... Okay... -- 22:39, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

UPDATE YOUR VOTE COUNT ON VFD

I'm only going to cover for you once a night. Spıke ¬ 02:46 17-Jan-11

PS--But thanks for your vote! Spıke ¬ 02:50 17-Jan-11

God, I can't balieve I forgot. Sorry

P.S.

You're welcome. -- 03:25, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

THANK YOU

THE MODERN DAY PICASSO! YOU HAVE TRUE TALENT MY FRIEND!

I must reward you in some manor... I will get you a gift soon. --99.239.60.14 22:44, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

Lol apparently i logged out while typing this out. It was me :P --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 23:04, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! PROVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- 01:42, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

What about me? I'm not Picasso? --~   19:36, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

No, you're Vango. -- 19:38, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Vango? Who's him? New artist? --~   19:39, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

You don't know who Vango is?!? -- 19:44, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Do you mean Van Gogh? --~   19:51, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Yes... I'm an idiot. -- 19:57, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Don't worry. Some people make years to understand that. --~   20:10, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

I'm still an idiot. -- 20:13, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Knowing yourself is a virtue. --~   20:16, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, but being an idiot isn't -- 20:34, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Van Gohn... Is that some kind of messed up porno or something? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 23:00, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

No. He's an artist. -- 23:19, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is the UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

Jan 20th, 2011 • Issue 104 • Whatever happened to Wagon Wheels?

PuppyOnTheRadio makes a discovery! By Chief Incredible, isn't it; we were pretty astounded ourselves... the UnSignpost actually has some news to report! Yes, everyone's favourite radio-fetishist canine has made the discovery of the century decade year week by coming up with a way to condense games down into one, two, three or even four pages as opposed to 167. This discovery has many benefits, none of which are likely to affect you, but it helps fulfil Uncyclopedia's green commitment by reducing internet congestion by quite a high number and it makes your work easier to destroy, thus breaking your spirit up to 50% quicker! This paper understands that the discovery occurred as PuppyOnTheRadio was sniffing spores, mould and fungus (as he does every Tuesday), when he accidentally sneezed mucus all over them. POTR then observed some remarkable effects as the games mould shrank down into one or two easy-to-manage pages piles. So if you witness some huge game purges going on, do not be concerned; it's just the administrators cleaning up after POTR; needless to say they hate him for this. You all think about that before you next consider doing something useful; all you have to gain is the eternal hatred of every active administrator, although if you really want that, he has posted some ads looking for help. Also yes, this paper is aware that the image accompanying this story is of Sigmund Freud as opposed to a real scientist; this is not because we don't know who he is, but simply because POTR has issues. Facebook for a day By Chief Those of you who arrived at Uncyclopedia on the 16th of this month may have noticed that the main page looked like Facebook. We here at the UnSignpost certainly did; we were celebrating the inevitable salaries, dental plans and offices with swivel chairs that inevitably come with people who have money being in charge when Zombiebaron told us it was just a reskin, what a jerk. The page has received high praise from the community, especially those who were in it. The brains behind it (and we use the term brains loosely) were Zombiebaron and Lyrithya, who spent a great deal of their seemingly limitless free time working on it. This newspaper can only assume they were both living off other people's money and not paying tax at the time, because if they contributed anything to society then they would have been slumped in front of their TV's, miserable and alone, frittering away their time on earth like the rest of us. Did we mention that they are probably in the country illegally? As per this newspaper's policy of forgetting to ask people for quotes in case they say something worth writing, we have simply observed Lyrithya (from a safe distance) to find out her feelings on the reskin. Don't do this, for your own safety. All she does is eat Cheetos and whine. Zombiebaron has once again obliged us by simply saying "Zombiebaron" in response to any question our reporters ask. All joking aside, the reskin was superb and a lot of hard work went into its creation, and not just from the two users mentioned. Others were involved in some of the jokes, creativity and stuff. Check the reskin out in the main page history if you missed it, or you can check out all the main page reskins in the reskin archive.

Check out these pages! The PLS..... again Wikia r teh suxx0rz!!!11!!one!! HELP!! Check out the toilet! From our logs: 6:53, January 13, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Ihatethisbloodysite (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (we're not too fond of you either) 11:09, January 17, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Uncyclopedia Is Racist Towards Niggers (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (COON!!!!) 23:58, January 18, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.238.88.224 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (It's captain gaylord! Thank you for saving us!) 16:37, January 19, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.196.51.46 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (With a pottymouth like that Santa won't be bringing you any gifts this year) 18:58, January 19, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked ChíefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Fuck ChíefjusticeDS) 12:58, January 17, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.12.66.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (partly for vanity, partly for cyberbullying, partly just for being from Luton.) Biopic of the Week Anyone who has ever strode into the Uncyclopedia IRC channel is probably familiar with our user for this week. Not only does he seem to have been there since the dawn of time, but he never leaves the place. He is always there; he is to the IRC what lying is to politics, what dilithium crystals are to the starship Enterprise. Yes, this week it's finally time for a biopic on Olipro. Olipro has been here since... a very long time ago and is a great mystery to everyone; most people have no idea he is an administrator, most people have no idea that he considers a morning wasted if he hasn't called 5 people cockjockey by lunchtime. Olipro is one of those mysterious creatures who occasionally tinkers with important pages, occasionally drops by to tell his favourite users that they were born out of wedlock, and, if you rub the side of his magic lamp, occasionally produces pages of code to make the mining maintenance of the site easier. Chances are he has effected you in some way during your stay on Uncyclopedia, if not get yourself into the IRC and tell him that his username sucks balls; that way you are guaranteed the full, untainted Olipro experience. Newsroom UnTune of the week Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 08:14, 20 January 2011

GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT TO TRY TO DELIVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a fucking idiot. -- 14:42, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

On the subject of "saying my article is better..."

I am going to say SORRY and that I put that in as an afterthought, never thinking that you would read it cause there really was no real reason for you to want to. Also I did not copy you on the subject of the article and only found yours after creating mine. (Really honestly and truly, hand on my heart blah blah blah etcetera etcetera etcetera...(I don't make a habit of lying to people))

P.S-obviously from your article, you have good taste.

from gargoyle13

That's ok. You should however, as a general rule, not do things like that.

P.S.

I actually didn't write the other one. But I like it. -- 22:52, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

me again

Hi there (again) I would like to enquire about becoming an Ally of the Grue Army. I don't want to become a full soldier-y person because I don't think I would be able to hack it.

So, if you wouldn't mind giving me a hand on becoming an Ally of the Grue Army then I would say thank you very much.

Also, if you reply to this one as well, I would then owe you two favours.

Gargoyle13

Ya you can join. I'll add your name to the list of allies. All you have to do is help us (the grue army) when there is a whole bunch of vandals, or if there is some other emergency like that. But if you would like, I could add your name to the reserves. They basically just do the same thing. Except you would get called into action with smaller emergencys. And you would actually be joining. Anyway, I'll add your name you the allies list. But if you want to join the reserves just tell me, and I'll switch your name over. -- 23:40, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

I want...

A painting. Please? --Dancing dude 15:43, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

What about my paintings? You don't want my paintings? That's it. You're my enemy now. --~  15:46, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

No! Two painting are good! You can give me one too! --Dancing dude 15:54, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Ya Mimo. We can both give him one. -- 15:55, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Hello

I hope you don't mind me playing with your sneeze article. I saw it was at -3 on the rickety scale and was about to be taken off of VFH. It likely won't pass, but maybe it laster a few more minutes. Please revert any and all. I didn't mean to step on any of the concepts you may have, but I wasn't sure if you did anything after the pee review and so worked on some of the points Lyrth mentioned (made the mother more loving, the pic caption, etc.). Thanks. Aleister 16:21 22-1-'11

No! I don't mind at all! Thank you. -- 16:39, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Hi. Sorry for being such an arse. Not sorry enough to remove it, however, for which I plead crankiness, or something. You should probably smack me or something, now... if you want to, anyway. Blargle... 1234 ~ 18:37, 22 January 2011

Sure! Smack! Crackle! Pop! And Smack again! OK, one more Crackle! Heeheeheeheeheeheeheee Thanks Magic man. I've got a couple of more small ideas for the page, will see what I can do. Here's a lifeline, if I'm not back in 10 minutes pull me back up. And Lyrithya probably knows exactly what I'm doing, procrastinating from writing that Poo lit page. Heeheeeheeheehee Aleister 21:16 22-1-'11

Yay! Procrastination!

P.S.

*Smacks Lyrithya and runs off laughing* -- 21:42, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

The new picture throws off the continuity of mistakenly covering your mouth while you actually had to sneeze. The other pic and the caption it ended up with was funny in that Tom was reenacting the sneeze but didn't bring his sleeve to his mouth. So I would say one or the other, and if the new one is kept you have to change lots of the page to acheive continuity. The new one is just gross, and the guy has a grey beard. He looks 43 more than 23, so you can make it that he's . . .oh, never mind, I wash my hands of the thing. Wash wash wash. There, clean, missed a spot, wash wash, there. Aleister 22:11 22-1-'11

I guess you're right. I just liked the caption... So... Simple... -- 22:14, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Simple, ah yes. And when I edited I kept that caption but added to it the points that Lyrithya (who has been well smacked I see) made in the pee review, and thus gave the news story more depth, as well as giving best friend Tom more depth (he didn't want to get his sleeve dirty when he reenacted it, and just ended up sneezing, so the story advances after the initial telling because this tells the reader that somewhere along the line you set up a reenactment, which is funny in itself.). Layering of jokes within jokes, if done right, seem to work, but if done wrong fall apart like the Hindenburg. Much of what we think of as comedy is unsaid, so much so in fact that maybe half the art, as in guitar playing, is what you don't play. I seem to be lecturing, so smack me too please. Thanks. Aleister 22:20 22-1-'11

Ok! *Smacks Aleister* Is that good? -- 22:23, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

OW! You smack harder than my mother, but she only has one side (she lost her left side in a fight with an armidillo, of all things. Total embarassment.) Aleister 22:29 22-1-'11

Does that mean she's split down the middle? -- 22:34, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Last time I looked she was split somewhere, mom and I have a thing about that but she asked me never to tell anyone. Hey, I'm reallllllyyyyy getting tired of not having a feature page, could you give Kitten Cookbook a read and see if it's feature worthy? This isn't whoring, because whores have pimps and accountants, and all I have is mom yelling at me to get back into her room. Ah jeez. Aleister 00:54 24-1-'11

Yeah, I'll give it a look through. -- 01:04, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Woo woo! Thanks for the vote, well, the weak vote. Serious thing, thanks for the push to take out a pop-up (there was one I wasn't really happy about, the kitten in the green thing). The 6 fingers one was gross and interesting enough, I thought, for readers who haven't seen it. Check out the front page, Todd Palin, and scan over the "embarrassing" thing. Hahahahhee heh? The page does end abruptly, but that seemed to fit on this one. The copycat crime thing. But yes, thanks, and more kittens will grow up to be cats because of you. Aleister 2:17 24-1-'11

Ha! A pop-up on the front page! That's a first! Anyway, I swear I hadn't read this comment before I posted that other one... -- 02:25, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, bad coding...

You could try using this: User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing - it's a template for making banners that I was working on and then gave up on and wandered off in the middle, and it's horribly coded, but it might be in a functional enough state to use... might. Probably isn't, but yours is doing weird things, so I thought I'd throw the idea out there. I dunno. Actually, from the other banner things, the only things you need to keep are the container for the positioning and the little x thing... your x was in a strange place. Still, better than I've done. 1234 ~ 03:24, 25 January 2011

Thank you. I'll see what I can do. -- 03:27, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Also, what PotR said. 1234 ~ 03:39, 25 January 2011

Cookie

Here, have a cookie, for being nice. I know, I know... my generosity is amazing... --Mr.Soot Gremlin -Talk 03:36, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Mr. Soot Gremlin has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thank you! I'll share with you. -- 03:37, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Cookies and thanks

My cookies be your cookies. Thanks for the push on Kitten Cookbook. Because of your weak vote, and spirited defense at Romartus' comments, I've added on a completly new section at the end, then added in some of Romartus' ideas, and out of the blue Zana came in and added a recipie at the end. The page seems OK to me now, how does it look to ya? And I saw you stopped Roman Dog Bird before he painted again, a lifesaver. Aleister 3:54 26-1-'11

Ha! Yes Roman Dog Bird needed to be stopped! Anyway, I'll give it a look through then I'll tell you what I think here. -- 03:55, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, much better. I'll change my vote to a regular for. -- 21:19, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost! Wheeee!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

Jan 27th, 2011 • Issue 105 • Do not try this at home!

Awards and Voting Update By Chief As the Uncyclopedian voting season draws to a close, the UnSignpost is proud to have spent a full ten minutes looking at the scores on the award pages so you don't have to! Over on Writer of the Year Aleister in Chains has taken a lead of two points over Mhaille and Sog1970 who are tied in second place with 9 each. It looks as though WotY is set to be a real roller coaster thrill ride as the frontrunners approach the final furlong, looking to be the first to vault the pommel horse of victory and ultimately hit it out of the park for a triple 20 score of 180, all without potting the black... or getting knocked off their broomsticks. Meanwhile Uncyclopedian of the Year is interesting, if only to watch Uncyclopedians revelling in a completely non-gay celebration of how fantastic everyone else is, all except the leader, ironically, who this newspaper maintains is a work-shy wank-stain on the pants of life. RadicalX of the Year is a Zombiebaron appreciation party and he leads his nearest competitor by 7 points. The Top 10 articles of 2010 is almost finished and the leaders of the pack are becoming apparent, with Suddenly, Raccoons leading the pack and Gay whales in Darfur and A wizard did it tying for second place. There has been some comment on this positioning: mostly screams of horror that an article comprising 6 words could possibly competing for best article of the year, sighs of resignation as it inches closer to actually achieving that end and the snorting guffaws of the people voting for it as they accidentally eat the ends of their fingers while eating crisps and try to cross busy roads without looking. UnSignpost Disclaimer: All scores are correct at time of writing, if they change, as they inevitably will, why not look at it as a metaphor for our inability to understand the universe as it changes around us and leave this story alone? Panic, despair and anguish By Chief It was a fine day, and then Wikia came. They destroyed that which we hold dear, had the tenacity to upgrade the site, kidnapped our children after we refused to pay them for piping all the rats out of town, turned all our clocks backwards 3 hours and worst of all they turned Mordillo into a newt... but he got better. Yes, this week has seen another Wikia update, and our roving reporters have taken to the streets, in flak jackets naturally, to investigate the chaos currently engulfing Uncyclopedia, as people wake up to discover the changes to bits of the site they never used. First of all we stopped by the Village Dump, where the peasants are revolting, and some people are quite upset about the new changes. Chief among those people is Dexter111344, starter of the forum topic Technical difficulties with Wikimedia updates in January 2011; we didn't bother interviewing him as he looked quite mean, though this periodical does observe that Dexter has been protesting against regular bathing for some time now and nobody else really wants to talk to him. If you aren't Spang, Olipro or Lyrithya you won't have a clue what is going on, so we have condensed it down into a suitably stupid phrase just for you "Shit dun' got fucked up". From here we dropped by Wikia headquarters and, once we had obtained docking clearance and the shield on the forest moon was deactivated, we were able to speak to Grand Moff Sannse about the changes. "DPL has changed with the latest version of mediawiki, it will need tweaking" she explained, clearly oblivious to the fact our journalist doesn't know what all those words mean and thinks DPL stands for Dragons, Pixies and Lions. Sannse went on to say that the userbase will need to contribute in order to get things back to normal, as our interview concluded she pointed out that "Trousers aren't needed, just knowledge," which will come as a shock to the active userbase who have been turning up with neither for several years now. Stay classy, Uncyclopedia, and watch out for DPLs. If you find something that is badly broken and adversely effecting the running of the site as a whole then contact an administrator or an Imperial Stormtrooper member of wikia staff, and no, minor aesthetic changes don't count.

Check out these pages: Best of 2010 Candidates! Alone in the Dark Scraggle Salamander Jewish Cuisine A Brief History Of Hot Bitches In Leather Kicking Ass Little Adolf's School Report Regular K Bond Villain BIBLE! From our logs: 07:01, January 22, 2011 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked Iwillkillyou333 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Not being Zombiebaron: This is a joke ban. Anybody who says it's not is a fucking liar. Now, start updating scores when you vote, or I will never ban you again. Ever!) 18:23, January 20, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.68.85.254 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (He is not God. God would be wearing a hat 14:56, January 21, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.44.241.22 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Crazy for "but sex," apparently. And bans.) 14:57, January 21, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 32 seconds ‎ (This Sycamore thinks he can just be "competent" and "Scottish". He'll have another think coming after I eat another jaffa cake.) 01:05, January 26, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked True mystery (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (YOU'RE A RIOT, TRUE MYSTERY, A REGULAR RIOT!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week Everybody likes magic; we here at the UnSignpost are firm believers in it as it delivers the periodical which you are currently perusing directly to your talk page every week! Brilliant stuff. The only person who likes magic more than we do is this week's user Magic man. He has even set up an award for the most magical user every month, because we are actually really short on silly awards like that. Besides that, Magic man has been a steady contributor to the site since June and has proved willing to help out where necessary; be it delivering the UnSignpost, frantically refreshing recent changes in search of creativity, sweeping, dusting, polishing and even writing articles. While he might not have penned thousands of featured articles, Magic man has proved to be helpful and more than willing to put in the hours, so by all means say hello to him and suggest he marry your sister when he has a free moment. Cajek Ban of the Week! 05:06, January 24, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (I am banning you because you edited Uncyclopedia) Newsroom UnTune of the week I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)

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1234 ~ 04:43, 27 January 2011

Considering what just almost happened...

Should I ever get banned(temporarily or permanently), you are to become head of the Grue Army until I get back. Understand? --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 15:02, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, I understand. -- 21:19, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

Is this any good?

I made an article in Userspace called School Vandalism. I was thinking of moving it to the Main space, as an intentionally poor article. Similar to Worst Article Ever, except based off of Real vandalism.

I don't know if this should be kept in Userspace or allowed to see the light of day, and I need someone else's opinion on it if this would be considered acceptable, even as a Vandalism article. - Another n00b 21:26, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

To tell you the truth, I kinda like it, but I don't think it will be kept if you mainspace it. But I must say, good coding! -- 14:19, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for your opinion. :-D - Another n00b 10:38, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

You're wecome. :-DD -- 14:19, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Comment

Walk in the city, I am crossing my fingers. Aleister 2:23 29-1-'11

Well, at ten it's iffy. If we (I say "we", but I guess I should say "I") get eleven maybe. I really can't say. This VFH nom has really been a rollercoster ride. First it was at eleven without any against votes, then it went down to seven with all the against votes, now back up to ten. I really don't know what to think. -- 02:42, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Only time will UnReveal the final flow of the page. If it stays at 10 you probably have it featured, but it's still on the razor's edge until it actually goes onto the que. Until then, go into the streets and riot or something. Ducks on sleds. Aleister 2:49 29-1-'11

This is gonna sound weird, but this conversation we're having reminds me about how I was talking about this series of continuity errors involving a flower in the movie ET. Not shure why though... -- 02:55, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Yay!! Aleister 18:39 29-1-'11

PARTY!! -- 23:11, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city! made it into queue!

Thanks for voting, And writing the article itsel...

-- 00:01, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Barnstars

I know Coronium said on VFD that he laughed at that one joke, but I don't think he'll laugh louder if we tell it twice. I wanted to move the whole section to a new article on FAQ, as it's all about FAQs and not at all about Barnstars, but we already have such an article, and it's all over the map: Some of this same thing, some prose, and finally some serious FAQs about Uncyclopedia. Spıke ¬ 01:52 31-Jan-11

Hmmm... Okay. -- 01:58, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Magic

Thanks for the Magic award! I will treasure it, and only use it to bake really good things on. It's one of the nice things here, and so new that it crinkles in the package. Thanks again! And I put some corny thank you things on my user page. Aleister 4:39 2-1-'11

Hey, you're welcome. You earned it. -- 18:34, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Whoops, that was me. I must've logged out. -- 18:38, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Master of disguise

Yeah, a hell of a lot better. Good work, you magical man. --Black Flamingo 22:21, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks. -- 02:52, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost is now served with complimentary tacos.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now with 20% more ninjas!

Feb 3rd, 2011 • Issue 106 • Can you feel the news melt?

Awards and the winners thereof By Chief Those of you who were rapt by the news from last issue were doubtless concerned by the news of Wikia updates, however life around the wiki appears to be proceeding as normal, albeit with more swearing and misery. Despite this last week being quite a slow one as far as news goes, the UnSignpost refuses to simply lie back and think of England. Our roving reporters have sat down with the yearly award winners to find out just how it feels to have no friends win a yearly award on Uncyclopedia! Our first stop was Zombiebaron, Potatochopper of the Year for 2010, and after turning down his offer of a plate of brains, we listened as he simply said "Zombiebaron Zombiebaron zombiebaron BRAINS!". Now accustomed to interviews with Zombiebaron, the UnSignpost had brought along former UotY winner and pretty lady Sockpuppet of an unregistered user to translate. According to Socky, Zombiebaron had this to say: "Well it's absolutely top hole, the chaps and chapettes singling me out for such a spiffing honour, really the whole venture is a jolly bit of sport which encourages the assertion that we must all pull together to make Uncyclopedia splendid and, of course, win the boat race. A glass of Iced tea anyone?" The UnSignpost suspects Socky made some of this up; everyone knows Zombiebaron hates Iced tea. Next we stealthily followed Aleister in Chains to work to find out just how he felt about being named Writer of the Year. He had this to say, to someone else: "Everyone nominated deserved the award. Seriously. It's like chopping a baby up bit by bit (dibs on the heart and some of the toes)," which means he is a whole 10% more stable than last years winner! It seems only fair that we should speak to Mhaille, repeat Writer of the Year loser and bureaucrat; he said, "I'd like to thank all the voters who for the fifth year running didn't get me a WOTY award and all the people who took time out from their busy schedule of not being on Uncyclopedia to come back and offer their support in our annual awards." What a splendid fellow. We here at the UnSignpost are all agreed that it takes real talent to lose as gracefully as Mhaille does. In an unprecedented turn of events, Useless Gobshite of the Year was jointly received by both Arsehole and Twattycake; Twattycake also picked up the Uncyclopedian of the Year award in a final evening of voting that will go down in history as having happened last weekend. We haven't asked them for quotes, though Twattycake did manage to say something about being incredibly grateful to everyone who voted for him. He then tried to consume our correspondent's "essence," so we haven't got anything more from him. The Top 10 of 2010 extravaganza also concluded with Suddenly, Raccoons taking the top spot, closely followed by A wizard did it, Filial Piety and Gay whales in Darfur. Mhaille, who won't stop following our journalists around, said "This years "Top" 10 shows once again that people of taste and infinite comedic writing talent must be found soon to stop this travesty from ever occurring again". The top ten extravaganza will continue for a while longer as each of the articles in the top 10 is once again highlighted on the front page. With that, Uncyclopedia's voting season draws to a close, leaving the UnSignpost bereft of filler material. Again. UnNews update By Zim After spending the last several months in a sensory deprivation tank, Reverend zim ulator has returned to his position at Uncyclopedia, though only on a part-time basis, the slacker. In his absence, SPIKE has been doing a great job of holding UnNews together. Kudos to him for a job well done, the slacker. There have been some grumblings about the UnNews podcast, more specifically the lack of updates since last summer. As of today, the podcast has been updated with UnNews' latest audios, dating back to January 24 2010. By the time this article is published, the list should stretch back to last August or so. Go check it out now; we'll wait. UnFunnies on UnNews main page are being changed again, after a hiatus. The cartoonist had been hospitalized with juxtaposition atrophy for the last several months, keeping him from his easel.

Check out these pages! Uncyclopedia MADE EASY!! I'm sorry! I can't hear you! This was a triumph Suck it! From our logs: 07:33, February 2, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.165.238.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanker: Take a week off. Get some air. Get a haircut. Go for a walk. Stop pissing me off.) 21:24, February 1, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Adsfsderaewfds (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bzahahahahahahahwahahh. Very eloquent of you sir.) 23:07, January 29, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Editing the wiki without due care, attention or care for my feelings, which you left in tatters as you departed leaving our song unfinished... I'm still not gay, that would be gay) 07:48, January 29, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 23 seconds ‎ (who the fuck are you, and what makes you think you can "write" an "article", eh?) 16:59, January 28, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.211.11.143 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Bad move - we lurve Asian women round here) 14:36, January 27, 2011 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10001 days ‎ (FU) Biopic Cop-out of the Week ChiefjusticeDS certainly is cool and worthy of a mention. Old school Featured Article New to Uncyclopedia? Have you had a look around and are wondering what to do? Why bother with all the glory of writing your own articles and having them featured? Why make useful contributions to other articles or help in the fight against vandalism? No. It's far more fun to beat other authors into the ground by telling them why their work sucks so much. Why not do a Pee Review, the last refuge of sexy cowards? The advantages to Peeing are wide and varied. For males, Pee Review can increase penis size, height, and even personal hygiene. For females improved breast shape along with better hair and more shoes are common side effects. Newsroom UnTune of the week I Will Possess Your Log Mordillo's musing of the Week "The Uncyclopedia community has disappointed me once more. Where else would you find an ungodly mishmash of the so called "top ten" as we have around here? Where else would an article about The Occult competes with an article about A Overview of the Wildlife in the Sahara, Gay Rights and Intercourse with Admins?. Even our great rival partner in crime cousin remote friend that other place makes sure to have some more consistency with their material. What have become of us? And then there are the Writer/Uncyclopedian/Schmuck/Whatever of the year. Enough to say that it's a waste of time. They're all sockpuppets of Mhaille by the end of the day. So, congratulations, Mhaille for your overall victory!" Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #873 You can't read. Random fact of the Week We have used all the custom userboxes the original designers of this periodical deemed to be safe, this is hardcore.

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1234 ~ 02:36, 3 February 2011

Grammar Police

Thanks for cleaning up the dumb parts of this article, including the shouting at the end. I've now rewritten the intro and done a section on Lynne Truss along the lines of my comments on VFD. I don't think Internals is terribly funny, but it does have a humor concept: mistaking the police to a computer programming language. I have no idea what to do at all with the History. You might want to take a hack at it. When it concerns history and we are all stuck, there is always Romartus. Spıke ¬ 01:36 4-Feb-11

Well... If you check the history, you'll see that I actually added the yelling, when I was still a noob. Don't know what I was thinking, but I took it out. So... Ya... I'll see what I can do. -- 01:52, February 4, 2011 (UTC)

And you took out a red-link. I didn't have a problem with that--it said that the grammar school was really obscure--but okay. Do more. I did not check the history, but if you are taking out stuff you were putting in a few months ago, that means you're--learning! Awesome. Spıke ¬ 02:52 4-Feb-11

Hooray for knowledge! -- 13:58, February 4, 2011 (UTC)

And as I see all the culprits have a watch on this page--What do y'all think about Section 2, now titled "Internal affairs"? It has a comedy plan, but basically only that one joke, and is a misfit with the rest of this article. Spıke ¬ 23:33 8-Feb-11

Lol

ΧΑ! Μπορώ να μιλήσω ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΟ ΠΟΛΥ? Man, your english hurts my ears. --~  13:07, February 9, 2011 (UTC)

Τι; Τα αγγλικά μου είναι κακό; Αυτό είναι είδηση για μένα, βλέποντας καθώς είναι η πρώτη γλώσσα μου ... -- 03:19, February 10, 2011 (UTC)

You just said: What? My english is bad? That's a new for me, seeing while it's my first language. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 17:27, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Er... I thought I said "What? My English is bad? This is news to me, seeing as it is my first language". So... Yeah... -- 17:33, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Did you do it with Google Translate? -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 17:38, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Yup. -- 17:43, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

To be fair, your english could be a little better. 1234 ~ 17:44, 12 February 2011

To be fair, shut up. -- 17:46, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

To be fair, τα ελληνικά σας είναι σαν τα μούτρα σας. Χάλια. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 17:47, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Heh heh heh... -- 17:50, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Do you know what did I just say? -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 17:51, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

According to Google Translate, "the Greek you are like your face. Rubbish."... -- 17:54, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

I said that your greek is like your face. Awful(That's how we call awful in greek. Sometimes.) -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 18:03, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah... I should stop using Google Translate, huh? -- 18:06, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

yep. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 18:10, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

*Sigh* -- 18:12, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

This edition of the UnSignpost brought to you in two's complement...

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

Feb 10th, 2011 • Issue 107 • The newspaper that you should really sign up for and read on your own talk page

Surprise! By Chief Is this a bag of poo I see before me? Indeed it is, good sirs and questionable madams; surprising, isn't it?! See how we have magnificently crafted the title of the competition here? We used the word poo, so it's sophisticated and funny! Especially if we set it on fire! Yes, it is Poo Lit Surprise time and it has been since January the 18th! However the UnSignpost won't let being some 23 days late to the competition stop the relentless march of journalism. The competition has been hosted this time around by sexy Scot Sycamore. When asked about the competition, Sycamore told our reporter "Things have gone pretty well with PLS. I've enjoyed reading many of the entries, and the quality has been very impressive - hopefully we'll see some great features from some very good new and old writers". Now in light of these comments, you may be thinking, "There's a man with his head screwed on correctly, I must pop round to his house for tea and muffins next time I'm out on a jaunt round Scotland," but we implore you not to do this, because Sycamore is, to be frank, snooker-loopy. After saying the above, Sycamore began to remove his clothing while saying, "As far as my personal experience goes, it’s been a challenge here and there - with some people wanting stuff that’s simply not feasible, capricious judges or general oversight to make sure special Uncyclopedians aren't walking into walls or playing with their faeces (a risk with several contributors). Overall I think I've been great and any problems have been someone else’s fault.." At this point our interviewer fled, just before Sycamore could provide an answer to the age old question about what Scotsmen wear under their kilts. The competition is due to provide definitive results by the 13th, but the fierce intensity in the competition id rivalled only by Mordillo's intense desire not to do any judging until late March (he claims he has life issues) and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user's desire to avoid allocating a clear winner (he clearly has life issues). The UnSignpost would like to extend its congratulations to everyone who participated in the PLS; as we always say, every single one of you is a winner; it's just that most of you won't actually be winners. Big News! By Chief First, a confession: I have just lied to all of you; there is no big news to report. Just about everyone has gotten over the Wikia update frenzy of a few weeks ago, there are no big awards left to report on, no controversies or pregnancies, or indeed pregnancies or controversies. We, well, I say we; it's just me really - which makes the meetings and functions really dull- have thought and thought and thought about what to put in this space. Should we tell you about Socky's idea to have yet another chance to vote in case you weren't completely sick of voting by now? Or should we look for a part of the site that nobody edits much, like UnTunes or UnScripts? We were stumped until we hit upon the idea of reporting on how you are all bunch of slackers who haven't done anything interesting this week, and it's true, everyone except Sycamore has been happy to just plod along being vaguely useful, and the UnSignpost is here to tell you that this is entirely unacceptable. We see you every day, adding things to QVFD, patrolling Recent Changes, writing articles and generally hanging about the place being limber and stress free; your attitudes are what reduced Mordillo to the burnt out husk he is today. Not that this paper encourages drama or vandalism; we just want to see the wiki fall into rack and ruin and be there to chronicle every glorious second of it! As the flames leap high into the night sky, the UnSignpost would be there, finally making use of the flak jackets we were issued last summer. Think of the coverage! We could interview Wikia representatives in their bunker at the heart of Skynet! We could run messages across the darkened fields of open warfare to... Fredd's house, the heart of the Uncyclopedian resistance. Imagine the pictures: Olipro executed by Wikia for a particularly groundbreaking piece of code that actually works! Lyrithya brutally murdered in the dead of night by nobody in particular! Not using that fecking dog image we've been using since issue 2! So to conclude, there is no way for us to fill this space this week short of encouraging a violent revolution. We hope the lot of you are satisfied.

Check out these pages! Blatant liberal bias! Wikia r teh suxx0rz A man with a plan Need an idea? From our logs: 03:46, February 8, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Mexicanswithoutborders (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (I hereby diagnose you with xxXtreme gay syndrome) 20:15, February 7, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.35.199.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (See peace in the embrace of allah) 15:34, February 5, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 178.212.247.172 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Who are you people? Why do you keep turning up? Will you buy me some chips?) 12:06, February 3, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 83.14.194.82 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Take a step back and literally fuck your own face) 12:02, February 3, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.51.59.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Rabbinic intervention to stop you screwing Virgin Mary) 09:16, February 4, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.187.239.89 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (congratulations, you tripped our "predictable twat" alarm!) 20:51, February 3, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 165.234.184.39 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Hurrah for penis, it shall lead us to the promised land.... or was that Moses?) Biopic of the Week The time has come for us to talk about Syndrome. A splendid fellow, by all accounts; he has written stuff, he has reverted vandalism and is generally a splendid fellow, did I mention he is a splendid fellow? His approachability, fondness for muffins and the fact he thinks the admins are cool and sexy meant there was no competition when it came to deciding who should receive the honour of an UnSignpost biopic. The sad part, however, is that Syndrome is around less and less these days, and this just will not do. So here is what we shall do, we shall go out into the streets and we shall buy muffins, except the admins who will simply look cool and sexy as always, and we shall hold the muffins aloft until Syndrome gallops into view. It's foolproof! Word of the week, provided by: Mhaille Shandygaff Definition: (Noun) A large spoon used to clear drainpipes: "Pass me a ladder, a bucket and the Shandygaff" OR (less commonly) (Noun) A beer mixed with citrus-flavored soda, carbonated lemonade, ginger beer, ginger ale, or cider: "Make mine a Shandygaff" Newsroom UnTune of the week 7 Shits

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1234 ~ 02:27, 10 February 2011

Answering your message

Hey Magic Man, you sent me a message about deleting How to Fool a Robot. It was my own article I'd just made up but it didn't go in the HowTo namespace, so I recreated it and zapped the old one. Sorry, I'm just learning how to use this Wiki, is there a better way to do that?

~ User Oldwes

Oh... I thought it was deleted by an admin for being bad or something. I didn't know it was your own wishes. Either way, there actually is a better way to do that. Up at the top there's a tab that says "move", click that. Then put in the new title, and click "rename page". Unless you're trying to move something to the UnNews namespace, then you should do what you did. -- 00:42, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, Magic ~ Oldwes

Any time.

P.S.

Hey, I just got an idea! I could adopt you through the Uncyclopedia Adopt-A-Noob program. Think about it and tell me what you think. -- 02:39, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

What?

Why is everything on this page so fucking red!? (talk) 00:30, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Well, I've never really thought about it. I guess because it's always been my favorite color. By the way, you're the Jack of Spades, I'm a magician, WE'RE A PERFECT MATCH! -- 00:49, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Holy Crap! We should do tricks! Am I your card? (talk) 00:51, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Ha! We could be like Pen & Teller, Siegfried & Roy, Bill & Tim! Well... Er... If you know who they are... -- 00:54, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

As long as I don't have to be in your hat. (talk) 00:58, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

No, that's where the bunny goes. I wouldn't put you in there with the bunny. He eats playing cards. -- 01:01, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

D: (talk) 01:03, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

But don't worry, he won't eat you! Well, he might... But hopefully not... Er... Yeah... -- 01:25, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Dick. Hey dick i'm talking to you. I said DICK I'M TALKING TO YOU

STOP BEING A DICK, YOU DICK-SMELL SOCK OF VIRGINITY! -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 16:56, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

DICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICK -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 19:05, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

You may want to reconsider who's the dick, mate. Seeing as you are the one yelling. -- 19:08, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

but... dick? I... I mean dicks, right? No? -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 19:09, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Er... What? -- 16:48, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Your sig is outrageous etc

MM, your sig image is so outrageously out of line I can't ignore it as hard as I'm trying to. It's breaking lines and it's just..err....big. Make it smaller please. Note to all other visitors of this page who tend to have outrageously big sigs, Imma gonna visit you soon too. ~ 19:02, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Ah yes. I figured someone would complain about this eventually. I'll fix it. -- 19:09, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Is 16px okay? I know it says 12, but most others have theirs at 16, and I don't think it breaks the line of text at 16. So you be the judge. -- 19:16, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

I'll pretend that you didn't ask it so I don't need to answer O_O ~ 21:19, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

12px tall is the limit. If 16px wide winds up at 12px tall... 1234 ~ 22:23, 15 February 2011

You see, this is what we like to call EXTREME STUPIDITY. Anyway, I don't think it's higher then 12px. -- 02:02, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

Eh, annoying is annoying. Anyway, that one's wider than it is tall, so it looks about fine. It's when people have really tall ones and holy crap it helps if I put my spellchecker back in english. Wait, what was I saying? 1234 ~ 02:21, 16 February 2011

Er... Okay? *Backs away slowly* -- 02:26, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

See, this is why Mordillo has these conversations... he's less... er... you know. *gestures vaguely* 1234 ~ 02:40, 16 February 2011

A message to everyone

ジャスティンビーバーは同性愛者であり、彼は下品な魚のペニスが子猫をレイプを使用しています。ダーティファッカー

Something about Justin Bieber? And if it's to everyone why is it on Magic man's talk page? (talk) 21:50, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

It's a secret. It's a fact about fishes and kittens. - 21:54, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

It says "Justin Bieber is a homosexual, he raped a kitten to use a vulgar penis fish. Datifakka". Odd... That you put this on my talk page. It really shows what the future of Uncyclopedia will look like. Scary isn't it? -- 02:06, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

Lurg luuurg unsignpost luuuuurg

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

Feb 17th, 2011 • Issue 108 • The newspaper that won't be interrupted by some kind of nocturnal omniv-

Who are these people? By Chief That's right, this week, Uncyclopedia has seen several old people reappear and start editing with the best of us. The first to appear was Codeine, who appeared on the wiki after previously dropping by only every few weeks to revert the anniversary pages and bemoan the general state of things; our forecasters are currently unsure whether we will see a full resurgence of Codeine, but they are hopeful that levels will continue to rise until everyone is crushed beneath Codeine's massive... mixed metaphor. Rcmurphy has also joined the wiki and can be sighted wandering around on recent changes, asking silly questions and trying and failing to create articles; we asked our forecasters what they thought about Rcmurphy and the chances of him staying here, but apparently they don't care about "some noob". Anyone who has not had a chance to speak to either Codeine or Rcmurphy should head to their talk pages right now and ask about their Mum and offer to adopt them, respectively. Be gentle with these two aged Uncyclopedians; remember, everything was far simpler in their day. When they were your age, all of this was fields, Mordillo was happy, the servers frolicked in a Wikia free wonderland and you were still a glint in your Mother's eye. We were lucky enough not to sit down with Codeine, but can predict with frightening accuracy that he would have said "Would you like a mint imperial?" if we had. You can't actually sit down with Rcmurphy because he has lost his 'sitting down and giving quotes to the UnSignpost' glasses, so we don't have a proper quote from him either. We can live with this and so can you. Remember, if you edit hard and eat your greens, you too could be just like Codeine and Rcmurphy in a few short years; how awesome would that be?! Suddenly News! By Chief So it was, with a mixture of relief and apathy, that the top 10 extravaganza drew to a close and it was revealed to everyone with no knowledge of the chronology of numbers which article claimed the top spot. Suddenly, Raccoons joins Dragon Warrior, AAAAAAAAA!, Captain Obvious, You Are Dead and the awkward tie from 2008 in the grand cupboard of Uncyclopedia where it shall remain as an example of how to write an Uncyclopedia article. The UnSignpost refuses to congratulate Hyperbole for writing Uncyclopedia's favorite article three years running, since doing so would run contrary to our aim of ultimately crushing him with the futility of his own existence. Hyperbole: You suck. In other news, the PLS scores have been added up; anybody who has been peeking at the results page while it was being created should report to Uncyclopedia HQ for the customary 15 lashes of the cat (the same punishment for reading this periodical before it is delivered), but should also be aware that ties in the PLS are unacceptable - don't ask why; they just are - and any ties have been broken with the help of the Power Rangers tie-breaker judges. If this upsets you, then just remember that it is all Socky's fault. The UnSignpost will have a full rundown of the winners and losers next week. A quick word on the forums: Poo. That was fun wasn't it? The final item of news for you this week is that Zombiebaron, everybody's favourite flesh-devouring chocolate flavoured snack admin, has taken it upon himself to propose an image manipulation competition which appears to take a very strong lead from the PLS in that essentially it is the PLS, but with images, not articles. We asked Zombiebaron if this was correct. "Zombiebaron," he responded emphatically. So if you think you have what it takes to chop potatoes with the best of them, then this is the competition for you. The UnSignpost will be following this new competition as it attempts to take wing and head for the skies and will be there to chronicle its rise and equally will be there to gleefully report every crushing failure! You can follow the competition here; now go and prepare, chop chop! BEST JOKE EVER!

Check out these pages! Srs biznss Cat cat cat Awwww Seriously, fuck this guy From our logs: 04:15, February 12, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Lairest (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Please read HTBFANJS: like mellow out, dude! peace and love and shit.) 14:52, February 11, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.74.26.175 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying is scientifically proven to be symptomatic of underdeveloped genitalia) 17:34, February 10, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 64.251.48.194 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Vandalism. Please grow up. Unless you're like a midget or something, in which case, grow out. Or round. Or down.) 20:50, February 9, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.139.210.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (I'm quite flattered by your huge man-crush on me. All I can say is take a number, get in line) 06:06, February 15, 2011 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (attending a college that rejected my application) Biopic of the Week: Aleister's mother's rotting skull A WIZARD DID IT It's fucking magical or something! Word of the week, provided by: RabbiTechno Schmekldekker Definition: (Noun) A Lithuanian shoe used for Morris Dancing: "I can't go to the Fête with you today Gunther for last night I split my Schmekldekker" OR (less commonly) (Noun) A Yiddish word for Condom: "I can't go to the Fête with you today Isaac for last night I split my Schmekldekker" Newsroom UnTune of the week Stinky Love Song

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 06:15, 17 February 2011

CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!!

Att:Dear Sir/Madam,

CONGRATULATION

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners Thailand International programs held on the 21/11/005. You have been approved for a lump sum pay out ofUS$550.000.00 (FIVE Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States dollars).

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.

This is not a scam!

To file for your claim, please contact our paying officer:
Contact Person:Dr Perry More (Lottery Director)
Email: perry_more@she.com

Whoa! What did I do? -- 15:17, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Hey everyone!

I'm about to go somewhere, and I won't be back till Monday. Er... I guess I should say I won't be on till Monday. So don't expect me to do anything till then. -- 16:46, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Whatever. Who's up for a party? --~  16:47, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

PARTY!! -- 03:27, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Hearts

I love you too! *Sniff* Let's get married in a lighthouse or somesuch.--Holy shit it's Neopowell 17:09, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! -- 03:28, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Sigs

How do you get your sig to blend in with the background? I just noticed that mine doesn't after posting here, which led to a sleepless night and some self-flagellation, followed by guilt foods and now a diet. I noticed the pic you use has a kind of a blue/white chessboard in the background, but I can't reproduce it. Please teach me the ways of the force blue/white chessboard before I become diabetic. ~  Talk 18:37, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

You need to save it with a transparent background - which means creating it without a colour background, and using a format that supports it... as in, not jpeg. Vector is best, but that'd require making it from scratch, probably... and png works just was well in practice. gif can work, too, but tends to be less optimal... 1234 ~ 18:50, 20 February 2011

Er... Yeah, what she said. Anyway, I'm sorry I never answered. I would've, but I was gone. But yes, when there is a "blue/white chessboard" that means the background is transparent. Yours has a colored background, the color of white, that is. -- 03:33, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Did you know?

– Preceding unsigned comment added by Another n00b (talk • contribs)

-- 01:05, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Lollipop

What flavour would you like? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:12, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Penis. I want a penis flavored lollipop. -- 22:14, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Nope. You don't get one. Too bad. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:41, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Why not?!? -- 22:42, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Because you attempted to start a flamewar. Only if you say sorry. But if I catch you trying to start a flamewar again, then you're banned from the shop. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:45, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

When did I try to start a flamewar? -- 22:47, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Well, it was actually Iwillkillyou333, but it's the taunting of the name "Lollipop". -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:09, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

I never taunted your name. I just laughed. And how do you even know it was at you? -- 00:47, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

Was Uncyclopedia hacked?

I clicked on "Recent Changes" and "Village Dump" and this weird thing came up, see for yourself. I think Uncyc might be hacked. Hope not. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 02:55, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

I'm getting it too and not being allowed to edit, weird code coming up. I was worried it was just my computer, so I guess not but some edits are getting thru. Aleister 2:58

Okay, now it works...but you never know what can pop up next...scary in a way. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 03:02, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

It goes off and on on recent changes, and I get it as I type this right now. It won't let me edit my talk page, and if this gets thru please pass the data on if you can still edit. Al

I told Chief about it. He hasn't answered yet, but it's going on and off as I type, the code goes on the bottom left. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 03:06, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

Oh thank god! I'm not the only person who suffers from this problem since the last few days. I though I had caught a virus from Encyclopedia Dramatica! Those god-damm EDiots! - Another n00b 16:16, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

Oh yeah, that was happening to me too. Especially when I clicked the "History" tab. Anyway, hope someone fixes it. Cheers! -- 18:10, February 23, 2011 (UTC)