User talk:Funnybony/archive4

Vakra-tunda-maha-kaya-surya-kotir-sama-prabha / nirvignam-kuru-me-deva-sarva-karyeshu-sarvada //

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HowTo:Be absurdly funny and not just a content freak

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All information less important than Lord Ganesha goes below

1. Archive 1
2. Archive 2
3. Archive 3

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Would anyone be so kind as to RE-NOM Tony Jaa!?

Just for the heck of it. I would if I could. Cheers--Funnybony    20:33, Sep 1

It has been a week on Pee Review, right? That means you can nom it. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:49, 2 September 2010

Yeah, bro! But that's, like, so gnarly - to nom my own article - kind of a jinx. I mean, I wouldn't vote for an article by that arsehole, Funnybony.. opps, I guess I have in the past. But he's still an arse! Nomms away over Tokyo! Cheers--Funnybony    19:56, Sep 2

In that case, I'll skim through the article and possibly nom it. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:57, 2 September 2010

That would be awesome. Tony lives almost next door to me, so I know his story. Bloody amazing magical powers, you gotta watch a couple of the YouTube links I gave because seeing is disbelieving. And at the height of blow job heaven in superstar success Tony just drops world fame to become a monk (a few months back). But little do the elephant haters know that he's really in training, hehe! Hope you like it. BTW: What are you working on? Anything I can Nom? Cheers!--Funnybony    20:08, Sep 2

I watched the YouTube video and was rather astonished at the amount of henchmen rushing in compared to the amount of time separating one henchman from the next as they join the fight. Now that you mention it, I just completed UnDebate:Is it morally unacceptable to have babies?. It's based on a current event, maybe you'll like it. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:19, 2 September 2010

Socky, you're a gentleman and a hero! You GOTTA see THIS for a much better sampling - totally freakin' awesome!--Funnybony    20:32, Sep 2

Al, you're my guru

Finally I have another archive page. Thanks to your kind and simple explanation. Dude, Check out this NOM - one of my fav. and best. LOL. Tony lives close by me. Awesome VDO and sound track A MUST SEE AWESOME. How do I find those categories you created? Hey, check out THIS list of famous veges, a big CRM lady included. Dude!--Funnybony    22:06, Sep 2

As your guru, please meditate on the sound of one hand clapping. Ah, categories and, I don't know how to find them. Maybe. . .look on the bottom of your talk page! A mystery still. Do you know Jaa? If not, you should drop him a note and tell him to check the page out. I'll check out the famous vege people, I know of lots of them but may find some surprises. Thanks. Aleister 21:18 3 9

Thank You!

^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 18:02, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Them Bones Them Bones

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL!! Your vote of confidence is crucial for our continued efforts to realize the galactic potential of Judgment Inc. Teamwork will be essential in the pursuit of our goals and we appreciate your patience during this transitional phase of our growing company and it's subsidiaries. I can assure you that your sacrifices are being noted and the management team suggests that you to read the book of Job as many times as possible in order to make your life seem more like paradise by comparison. Don't forget that first born males are due by the end of the fiscal year so don't delay submitting your offering. Thanks!

--    11:12, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

Sept 9th, 2010 • Issue 93 • Our definition of "weekly" may not match yours

The pee is weak - must be time for Pee Week! By UU It's been an unusually long stretch without any kind of competition recently, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that! Co-incidentally, the pee queue is as long it's been in aaaaages, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that too! Yes, it would appear to be nearly time for the inaugural Uncyclopedia Pee Week! It starts on Monday 13th September. So, the questions must be asked: Do you have an opinion, and want to give others the benefit of it? Do you want to help people who are looking for help with their articles? Do you want to get a shiny new template award thingy? If the answer to at least one of those questions is "yes", you could be on your way to winning this soon-to-be prestigious competition! Just sign up here, and prepare to review as you've never reviewed before! The best of the 5.5 years super-extravaganza begins! By UU As we all know, there is nothing the average Uncyclopedian enjoys more than voting. Except possibly causing drama, but we'll gloss over that for the purposes of this article, because an unprecedented new opportunity to vote has arisen, thanks to amphibious serial-killer TKF. That's right, on the fifth of every month, a new vote will start to determine the best somethingorother of the 5.5 years that Uncyc has been in existence. This month's vote is already open, and it's for the writer of the 5.5 years. So get over there, vote, and make your voice heard! Again. Asked for his feelings on seeing his brainchild getting off the ground like this, TKF exclusively told us: "My grand-uncle used to tell me "He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!" and I feel that's somehow relevant to this situation." Anyone pointing out that by the time this finishes, Uncyclopedia will be around 6 years old will be asked not to point it out again. UnNews main page By Socky Someone suggested to completely revamp the UnNews main page and in an epic move of Uncyclopedia originality, decided to hold a vote on it. Some people farted.

Check out these pages! Wikia sucks, part 469 In other news, The Pope's a Catholic Insert lie here The very pinnacle of humour From our logs: 06:16, 8 September 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.137.241.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck. Flaxmere too.) 04:13, 31 August 2010 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 96.30.32.33 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (congratulations on bringing to our attention the fact you are a moron. you win a ban!) 05:47, 29 August 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Vertiqual (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Hey now, some of my best friends suck a lot of cock.) 18:46, 27 August 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mordillo (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Thank god I'm in Israel then!) 18:25, 27 August 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (According to my calculations, it's Shabbat in the 'Dam. Therefore, if you unblock yourself, you'll go to Hell. Ha ha ha!) 17:09, 21 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Magic man (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 Minutes ‎ (Update the score when you vote on VFH, cleaning up after you wears out my slippers) 02:44, 19 August 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked DarkWalrus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Poor edits, won't listen to advice, continuos ICU removal, smells really bad, etc. etc. god damn) Biopic of the Week It's time to cover a true legend of the wiki this week, a name that still inspires awed whispers wherever connoisseurs of pee are gathered together: the one, the only One-eyed Jack! OEJ, as he is more handily known, was for some time pretty much the only person who bothered to do any pee reviews at all. Fortunately, the ones he did were pretty awesome. And he had plenty of knowledge to back him up, having birthed some seriously good featured articles. But Jack didn't just write for features - he turned his hand to improvement - check his userpage to see just how many below-par articles across the wiki had the benefit of his gently healing touch, nudging their prose from lame to lollable with a deft sprinkle of goodness. Man, we need more people like this guy. Where is he now, anyways? Old-school featured article of the week go eat shit fuckers

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:58, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews

Thanks for your adds on the Pastor Jones email story! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:33, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Bro, I wasn't sure if some typos were intentional.. hope I didn't mess it up. Stay well!--Funnybony    15:47, Sep 9

Thanks and Stuff

He may be dead but Monster Party will live on thanks to your vote. Hooray for crappy video games!

--—John Lydon 12:07, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

If you are reading this you are The Last Man on Earth

If you are reading this you are the last man on earth. Photoshop no longer exists because women don't know how to use anything other than your credit card on the computer. Thank you for voting for The Last Man on Earth to be featured on the front page. If you are a woman and you read this, I thank you and hope you forgive me for the previous sexist comment. It was all in jest....most of it. --Dr. Fenwick 21:52, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

Iz ya?

Iz ya be pimpin' ho's mudderfudder? Obvizoly youse influenzed by Maniac1075. Congratz on youse multipled featurez homes.Aleister 19:17 12 9

Thanks!

You voted in support of antinatalism. The future totalitarian world government will make sure to have you sterilized. Thanks for participating in saving the planet! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:03, 13 September 2010

MINDFUCK

^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 20:55, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

Care for a spot of tea?

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you ever so much for your vote.

And no, my dear, I will never change this template.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:46, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

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Westmoreland

we were in danger of an edit conflict so the edits I was about to make are now on User:Sog1970/ westmoreland - feel free to chose which you like - or not. --Sog1970 16:00, September 17, 2010 (UTC)

Wow! I didn't know you were still on it. I was hoping for more anyway. Bravo. Great!!! I stop right now. Please let me know when you're satisfied. And DO delete anything you like, please. I'll do nothing more on this until I hear from you.. please! Cheers!--Funnybony    16:08, Sep 17

The more I've read about this knobhead, the more I hate him. I kind of knew he'd been in charge not quite what a blood-thirsty retard he was. Bizarrely, this makes me want to re-write his article with a bigger emphasis on making him a misunderstood hero. But this would tend to clash with the bits of perfectly justifiable anger. I leave it to you to decide as it's your thing, but to me he'd look more ridiculous made out to be a genius> why not let the readers decide what an utter twat they think he was? --Sog1970 20:50, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

I agree. This in HTBAFANJACFland, although he almost killed my arse, etc. But please do it that way, a numerical genius and story teller, or exterminator, and the intro needs such a joke (if not total rewrite. Material-wise this is as much if not more your article than mine. It's our article 50/50. And I'm glad to have gotten your creative juices flowing which is educational as a polish coyote - the best teachers of the absurd for having chewed off three of their legs yet still caught in the trap. So, honestly, I'll stop working on it until you straighten out the angle. I'm getting a huge laugh out of this. Excellent. Cheers!--Funnybony    21:04, Sep 18

I'm hoping it's a bit more consistent along the lines it is now. I may flesh out a few more of the bits I've ditted so far but I'll leave the last few bits to you. --Sog1970 22:37, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

I'd give you guys a standing ovation but if I stand up in the foxhole then I become the perfect target. Oh, what the hell. Yayyyyy! Clap clap clap, y ;;'v__________________________ Shot, so cold, mommy???

Al, dude! Can you believe it? Somehow this article brought out a burst of amazing creative energy from Sog and he literally set the world record straight for all eternity. "Wikipedia! Eat you friggin heart out!" And its all the more amazing because Sog's never even had a single FA before. Would you like to Nom it? Right now VFH seems pretty quiet. It's an exceptional article on a REAL subject. I'm stoked! Cheers!--Funnybony    13:06, Sep 19

I'm just wondering if there's room for this pic

General Westmoreland in dress uniform, circa 1970.

. Won't mean anything to people of the american persuation but his catch phrase was "We're gonna wind 'em up, put 'em in a field and bomb the Bastrds!"

--Sog1970 13:11, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

DONE!

I'd be honored to nom it. And renom it if it fails. Tweek it while it's nommed too, if you have more to add. Congrats to you boths. I will have to vote no on it, but what that shouldn't hurt it. Aleister 12:23 19 9

Well, I was really hoping. Great! I think this might be one of Sog's greater articles--Funnybony    13:38, Sep 19

Nommed. Did Sog mean to put the catch phrase in the photo caption, or was it that people who see the pic and know the catch phrase will think of it? Gook Al 13:40 19 9

Al, dude! I don't know. What does "catch phrase" mean, anyway? Should I remove it. It was just a guess. Thanks a mil. I hope people realize that Sog wrote most of it, and approved what he didn't.--Funnybony    14:27, Sep 19

Americanis(z)ed Spellings seem more appropriate somehow. --Sog1970 19:12, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

The trivia section does seem excessive, and listy, and may take away from the overall goodness of the page. Uncy hates lists!!! Al gotta rn

YAY - it's a feature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --Sog1970 21:49, September 24, 2010 (UTC)

Tantra

Some vandal, who may be high as we speak, is working on Tantra, putting serious stuff in without the funny. We better remind him that it's a feature page, and changes should be subtle or roflol funny. Damn vandals! Maybe some of the things can be put in as references/feetnotes? And congrats on William Westy, for sure a feature. It alone is worth a nillion dollars! Aleister 17:50 20 9

Yeah, some damn realist. I wrote him/her/it about the matter and was assured those were "option edits" rendered transparent by a single click or three. I told them, "You're warned, you motherfucker, you!" No sweat! BTW: I just got my first-ever YES vote from Codeine on THIS, cool! Cheers!--Funnybony    18:04, Sep 20

czmn damn hippies. Will take a look and try to save your data without blowing the lead. Or leading the blow. Congrats on Codeine, I forgot jet lag was up for feature. And. . .sporker, I point my finger at the sporker. . . Jack Dempsey. . .sporked. I don't know, I toyed with the idea of doing one. Have you done one before? Maybe I'll see how yours comes out. If I do one I'll draw the line at that though, it just doesn't feel right to me. But Dempsey is a great topic if you'll going to do one. Maybe I'll do someone on the same level of demseyness. Aleister 20:09 20 9

HEY, Tantra: I messed with it, you tweaked that, and presto! It's a little better. Yea! Bro!--Funnybony    22:34, Sep 22

HERE IS Jack Dempsey

Pard! How can Uncyclopedia have NO Jack Dempsey? SHAME! But lets do it together 50/50. Whattya say? I used to be on the New Mexico Golden Gloves team, so I know of him. Still, we need to Spork his boxing stats. A Sporked template at the bottom is fine by me. BTW: I did Roberto Duran which is also in dire need of your excellent editing and additions - it has FA potential if you edit it your way. Lets do them. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:33, Sep 20

Just saw this. No, you're doing really well with it, hilarious in many parts. If you'd like I'd be happy to add some in when you'd like me to, but no credit please. Nice work. And of course we need a Dempsey page, this is one baaaadddddd muddddaaa. And I'll look at Duran, and fiddle with him (I bet he'd like that!) for a few minutes. I worked on your additions to Tantra for awhile yes-erday. What do you think? Cheers. Aleister 18:18 22 9

Amazing that there wasn't already a Jack Dempsey page. I wouldn't dream of messing with it on the grounds that I know nothing about him except that messing with him would clearly be a good way to get yourself killed. Seems pretty good already - not sure you really need the entire ring history thing at the end though, it'll be difficult to make it a laugh-a-line funny. But the rest is excellent. --Sog1970 20:43, September 22, 2010 (UTC)

I agree! Sog! Sporked shit don't shine. So, how about now? If you see anything wrong or less than better, please dive in. I could never have written this before working once with you. Bravo! And Welcome to Jaaaaaack Demmmmmpsey! Cheers--Funnybony    21:15, Sep 22

Just reached 250 ditties

Hey, Bros! I made it to 250 with Jack Dempsey, a post-Sog, Romy, Al training, and it's by far my best one yet. After those three gurus of wit, I knew I could finally tackle Dempsey. I hope others agree. Anybody want-ta nom it, please fire away. OR fix the problem - if any. It follows ALL the FA non-rules. Maybe, even, Guildy likes it. That would make a full moon. I learned a ton from reading him too. Cheers!--Funnybony    22:34, Sep 22

Congrate on 250!! Damn! And thanks for the UnBooks nom! Hee hee! If I win you will get half the prize money, and it amounts to nillions! Although I haven't read it in the past few hours, maybe let Dempsey boil for a day or two! And a pee always helps because then we get a whole other point of view! More soon! Aleister!! 1:00! 23! 9!

250 was impressive. 251 is just fucking obscene. we have a word for people like you in Wales - I just can't remember what it is and anyway, you wouldn't understand it. I think I need to go to bed now. --Sog1970 22:28, September 24, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Photographs expose athletes' village shambles in Delhi

Needs a copy-edit; and the Chief is still not in his office; and I am not your mother. Too much melodrama, editorializing, and exclamation points, especially in the lead paragraph. A fun piece, but please make it read more like a real news story! Spıke ¬ 15:56 23-Sep-10

Good advice, Spike. That looks much better now. Thanks.--Funnybony    16:26, Sep 23

I did further work on the first paragraph and saved it on top of one of your edits--went back and tried to recode your work, but a couple of your new links might be lost. It's now in the 1-spot on the Front Page. Spıke ¬ 16:44 23-Sep-10

PS--UnNews:Urgent call on UN to stop 'alien invasion' was repeatedly vandalized by a Usual Culprit and protected by ChiefjusticeDS. I thought this would have been funner if you had made the lead deadpan and believable (but ambiguous) and then sprung on the reader in the second paragraph or so (after he had drawn his own conclusion) that global worthies are not talking merely about foreigners but E.T.'s!

Also, Froggy might not like the Chief's criterion--"add links until it looks super ugly"--but you could use a few more, especially in the dateline. Use 'em when it makes sense to do so. Spıke ¬ 16:30 23-Sep-10

Hey, looks twice as good after being Spiked! Thanks.--Funnybony    16:55, Sep 23

Your user page

Now you're treating as some sort of a VFH the fact that I gave your article the Front-Page lead? When it was the day's only article? What an attention whore! (Oh, that's right, you had already confessed to that.) Spıke ¬ 11:48 25-Sep-10

Oh, sorry, Spike. It seems I learn about a new Uncyclopedia law almost every time from you. When Zimbo was there it was the feature or lead article spot, so I started noting those as they didn't come easy. But if that bothers you, or shatters the Uncyclopedia law carved in marble, then I'll certainly stop. All my featured news articles previous to last April are not marked because I can't remember. I only have 6 FA's to my credit, as you can see in the Hall of Shame. So, what is thine command? Should I distinguish as "Lead Article". And what of the week-long features on HowTo? They are not FAs, but they are a HowTo Feature. Anyway, your being disturbed about it hints of some kinda complex complex, perhaps connected to the real world Spike. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:08, Sep 25

Oops, sorry it wasn't clear enough--I was kidding. Give yourself 5 extra Internetz. Spıke ¬ 12:18 25-Sep-10

Anyway, bro! You're right. So I just fixed them all. Thanks for getting that straightened out. You always matter!--Funnybony    12:24, Sep 25

Remember Me?

Hey, looks like you done been doing good here while I's been gone. First I got a chance to work on a book collaboration which took my writing time away from here, then second I had an accident and got a hand that wouldn't work very good. Ever try typing 60 words a minute hunting and pecking with your off hand? I tried, and it no work. But I can now move my fingers, sort of, and can lift 1 1/2 lbs. with my injured hand. Gosh, am I strong!

I wanted to let you know I'm writing a series of short news articles about the search for a diamond that was on board the RMS Titanic and may be the world's largest. If you'd like to see them I can email them to you. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:34, September 24, 2010 (UTC)

Wow! Welcome back. Glad you're getting better. Humm, the subject you suggest so harmful that to even talk about such a thing is bad luck, believe me. Not with a 10 foot pole (tall Polish dude) would I touch such a dreadful subject. Honestly. But good luck, and let me know of any other subjects we could collab on. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:03, Sep 24

Another crappy dust-gatherer to shove into the cupboard and forget about

Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ way!
In recognition of your fine decision to vote for Bulimic Barbee™ to become a Featured Article™ on Uncyclopedia™, the Crappel Corporation™ (USA™) are pleased to award you a FREE six month membership of their Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ Way weight loss program.
To demonstrate the benefits of our Diet™, please enjoy these delicious Lo-Cal™ Bulimic Barbee™ Potato Crisps™!

(Please Note: By accepting this FREE Introductory Gift™, you have agreed to sign up for a further two years on the Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ Way program (priced at just $3000 per month) once your six month free period has expired.)

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Alfred E. Neuman

I took a look at this and the first thing that occured to me was M.A.D as in Mutually Assured Destruction. I thought about writing it as though he were the genius architect of the cold war stand-off (hence the election poster), and MAD was the popular anti-commie rag of the time etc. You can kind of imagine where it might go. But then I hesitated, because that would be a complete turn around for this article and wouldn't leave room for much of what you'd already written. And since it's pretty bloody good, I decided to leave it to you. Good luck with it --Sog1970 22:45, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

What, Me Worry?

2 days! I like it when that happens (I've had two of those). Jack Dempsey, two questions: Is it nom ready? And did you misspell Gene Tunney's name on purpose (as Jean)? 2 Days, and it could have lasted four-ever. Aleister 9:52 27 9

I've nommed Dempsey after a three-round fight. Have also done some editing to the first third of the page or so, tell me if any of my edits are keepable and if I should go on or go take a shower (or both!). A fine page of fistacuffs. Aleister 15:30 27 9

Hi, saw you working. Do you mind if I sweep the sections of Dempsey I skipped yeserday? It's a very funny page. He would have enjoyed it, and then punched your lights out. Oh, and the frat is working on Weird, actually just Black Flamingo, so if you want to play there it's open for business. I forgot all about it. Aleister 12:00 28 9

Al, by all means continue. And pleasee DO share this article with me if its featured. I would like that. I prefer not to be a one-man show. My notable songs were all written with a partner. Lets keep it together. Cheers!--Funnybony    13:35, Sep 28

Glad you had the extra pic. When I edited it the pic on the page was a duplicate of the opening pic, so I deleted that. No idea how they got switched. And okay, if by some miracle it gets featured I thank you, and would be proud to share your limelight. Thank you. You are proof of a gentle and loving God. Aleister 21:32 28 9

Bro! You put more quality into Jack than all your three articles you credited me with combined. I much prefer collabs.--Funnybony    21:54, Sep 28

Liar, liar, thou pants they be on fire. Your shaping of Tantra with pics, writing, and urging the taking out of some things and adding of others made the page. Great edits on Inagaddadavida. And, ah, I can't remember the other, if there was one. Anyway, I wonder if any of Dempsey's kids are still alive, or his grandkids. They should lovvvvveeeee the page (hee hee) Al, few minutes later

Put a new paragraph in to give background to Dempsey's lifelong interest in shagging actresses. Seem okay? I haven't told you yet how nice the pic is at the top of your talk page. And would you be interested in collabing in the MadMax contest? It's a short window of less than a week long. I've started a page for it, one of the top 50 requested articles, but two heads are better than one at times, and my head is wondering what direction to take with the page. Cheers, rice, and beans, Aleister 10:48 29 9

Spam spam spam spam spam

Thank you from Black flamingo & Sog for joining the Kate Bush fan club. Now as promised, here is your own personal copy of that image, to treasure forever.

lol

Did you know you signed your Alfred E. Neuman page at the bottom? But what, me worry?Aleister 21:03 29 9

GAD! Al! How the heck did that happen!? Only possible on an Alfred E. Neuman article. Man, thanks for the heads up. It's gone. Jeez. How long was it like that? I have no idea how that happened??? Nuts! Anyway, with new pictures and radically reworked text and direction, keeping within the real time periods (last 70 years), and it makes me laugh, with lots of absurdly-funny shit. So It's ready for you or someone to make a clean sweep so we can FINALLY get the King of the absurd an FA for life, plus share another FA.. that is more cool by far. It makes me happy when I see FAs are collabs. That's two heads better than one. THIS is VERY IMPORTANT SUBJECT. Nothing is more important to Uncyclopedia than Alfred!--Funnybony    21:32, Sep 29

Damn, Jet Lag has beenthisclose for two or three days. Aleister 22:12 30 9

I just improved it further. It still has time.. BUT, ALFRED IS READY - Unless you say otherwise. I think its ready Alfred E. Neuman <--HERE. I spent 2 years on this article and recently tripled its content with post, Al, Rom, Sog training. It really is good in my opinion. Also, I completed Lunar Launch Saga with a cool ending. Cheers!--Funnybony    22:28, Sep 30

Clip: Meat made O'Donnell avoid being Hare Krishna

This AP wire is right up your alley: [1] Spıke ¬ 10:57 3-Oct-10

"Ford Says It Will Cull Lincoln Dealers"

If you need a story idea, this current news story about culling car dealers could be mapped onto that famous short story (so famous I don't remember the name) about the recluse who invited visitors to his island paradise, only to hunt them down). This is the Wall Street Journal headline, available to subscribers only, but Bloomberg has the same news for free. I will have a sequel tomorrow to today's currency-collapse story. Under the new system, we have lost the ability to file tomorrow's story today and post-date it; the new list tags each story with its creation date. (Used to be last-edit date but Olipro agreed with me that it was perverse to have stories jump around based on who edited--or vandalized--them.) Separately, I hope you don't mind my conversion of your late vote for me for the September Manny into an early vote for me for the October Manny. Spıke ¬ 17:35 5-Oct-10

I see you already had an idea for the day (though I think you went off your meds). Sorry to pass over the Hatchet II article in favor of Cabbage II, but I found it easier to make a capsule of it for the Front Page. Spıke ¬ 14:22 6-Oct-10

Hi Spike! Hope you're well. I just had visit from Bollywood, who think they can make a feature as good as Hollywood, and are pitching for a film I'm involved with. They want to have the script in A4 rather than US Letter format (that means, let them make the picture, not Hollywood). So a little serious competition always adds excitement. But it takes away from IMPORTANT THINGS, like UnNews. I been paying a bit of attention here, and I'll be back in gear tomorrow on UnNews, How about, "Honda Says It Will Cull Benz Dealers" OR how about "FED says it will cull banks!" OR, better yet, "FED holds dollars clearance sale - buy 1 for a penny, and get 99 free!". Hehe!. Hey, use my vote anyway you like. You'll always have it. Stay cool, Cheers!

My idea was to use the existing headline but tragically misinterpret it. Your ideas transform the headline, but the risk is it's only funny to those who have seen the actual headline. The Fed story could tie in with my worthless-currency/cabbage series. Spıke ¬ 19:39 6-Oct-10

PS--Unless you wrote the script in longhand, doesn't A4 versus Letter simply mean you scrounge the right paper and run the laser printer again (or pay a service to do so)? On "UnNews:Purple lucky rabbit’s feet to bring 'great events,'...", you are overdue for a Front Page capsule, but I'm having trouble with this one too--the humor is in the teleplay playing out inside your mind; I don't see how to turn the joke into a single paragraph for Front Page treatment. Spıke ¬ 23:35 6-Oct-10

Hi Spike. That article doesn't need front page treatment. Its Okay already. Absurd it is. BTW: Hollywood screen-play standard is US letter format, Europe & Bollywood it's A4. Simple - along with a ton of other established formating rules. Cheers!--Funnybony    09:29, Oct 7

At least we never subject you to arcane and inexplicable formatting rules.... Spıke ¬ 13:27 7-Oct-10

Jack punches out of a paper bag!

Hey, Jack looks so good on the main page that I had to turn off the computer and punch myself out in front of a mirror, just to see how bloody his opponents looked. Congratulations, nice work all around. Thanks for letting me be a part of it. You (and Jack) are truly proof of a gentle and loving God who pretends sometimes. Aleister 9:57 6 10

What a great template, one of the best. Your name should have been first, of course, but you are a humble and God fearing man. Fantastic pic. Alfred E., will look at long before the 9th, nice work as far as I saw last time. I must update your feature count at wotm, and vote for Spike somewhere or other. Away, Aleister 23:36 6 10

You have new messages

Sorry I haven't been around a whole lot lately. I finally managed to wrestle my way out of that Italian's guy trunk though so I should be around a bit more in the next few days. I'll tell ya, you borrow just a few grand and they act like it's the end of the world..... Whatever. If by "collaborate" you mean "use my mental powers to try and make people's heads explode, then yes, I did "collaborate" on my features. If you mean "collaborate" as in "someone helped me write them" then no, I didn't collaborate. Wait.... can cocaine collaborate? Because it certainly helped in the writing process. Cocaine is my collaborater! --—John Lydon 12:07, October 6, 2010 (UTC)

P.S. - Congrats on the feature. Very nice article.

Alfred

You edit conflicted me with "dry-heave" so I copied the edit's I made onto the end of the page, so now you have two pages on the same page! The luck never stops lucking! Anyway, I think the subtle way you present absurdity is very good, but has to be mulled over to understand, which is fine. My edits were slow to come, then I started to add, so it is just a quicky. I hope some of them help, and give you joy all the rest of your days, and that others make you dry-heave, a blessing in disguise if you want to comment on opera and the theater. Aleister 10:41 7 10

Great! Good stuff. I deleted the top version. And changed nothing since your edits. If you're going to check it out then I'll stop working on it. It's getting close to being over-perfect. But in gems there can never be over-perfect. And a perfect gem is the most pure thing known to physical science. Are you working on it more? Cheers!--Funnybony    11:25, Oct 7 11:25, October 7, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, thanks. What, me Edit? I hadn't planned to, there are a few minor points I didn't get, like that trademark symbol and the word after it? I don't want to break your style, it's good if understood. But Alfred E. would understand. Aleister 11:56 7 10

Ha! Thanks for your vote on Daddy Has Two Yachts. What did you think of it? And today is the day Alfred E. goes on VFH, a great day in the life of the planet. Human endeavor reaching its peak of perfection. Alfred E. Neuman being lampooned on a major comic website (the major comic website?), something the creators of MAD couldn't have forseen no matter how many spys versused spys. Fold Neuman along the dotten lines and find the hidden message! Aleister 11:31 9 10

Sure, bro! Cute. Not my fav article from you, but certainly feature worthy. Alfred is still laughing at the very idea. And he's hoping for acceptance from Uncyclopedia, when, it should be the other way around. If not for Alfred there would be no Uncyclopedia - not that there is anyway. Yes, New Moon is today 9th. I myself have a space movie, Lunar Launch - which had a PEE exactly one year ago by The Chief. Now it's worth a try so I'll Nom that myself. Good luck on getting Alfred to take Uncyclopedia not-seriously. Cheers!--Funnybony    13:25, Oct 9

Ah, Lunar Launch. Sounds good, Alfred can wait patiently. What, He no worry. Thanks, probably not my best page but the inter-connecting of everything in the story worked well. It's one of those that are best read twice, so go read it four times. Will vote for Lunar, I've read it in the past. Must go, see you in the innernests. Aleister 13:33 9 10

Bro! I'll nom lunar, but please nom Alfred by yourself - I would but I can't. He's more than ready, and was just waiting for New Moon. And Alfred loves you! Cheers!--Funnybony    13:47, Oct 9

Al, you're a wild-man (civilized wild man, that is). I didn't even know there was a "Playwright of the Month". Really! Live and learn. I hope others like the script-scene too, because, the really absurd thing is the actual Lunar Launch. Yeah, and the Pope shits in the woods. My Dad was a Pilot, so I asked him "how" (the fuck) did they dock with the command module. He had no clue! Hey, bro! Alfred is ready whenever you say so, dude! Cheers!--Funnybony    09:28, Oct 10

Just saw this. Of course Pope shits in the woods (idea! I've worked on that page, why don't we collab on it, expand it, and see what occurs????) Lunar Launch should fly, and as sure as the birds sing in the morn' Maniac1075 still writes here every day. Maybe Alfred needs a pee review so someone else looks at it--or just a tune-up to the start of the page. Can I go under its hood for a few more minutes? And thanks again for your votes on my pages, appreciated. Tis nice. Aleister 10:something 10 10

Yeah, bro! 4 sure. Please make it perfect. That's better than any review by far. Once you're satisfied with Alfred please Nom him for his own sake and the betterment of humanity. Q: Do bears shit in the Vatican? We already know the Pope shits in the woods when he goes camping. But how does a bear (bears) get into that big old church? How about UnNews headline, "Bear shits in Vatican". HAAAA! Hey, I just got another feather from HowTo to stick in Alfred's cap. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:19, Oct 10

That line about the Bear shitting in the Vatican is very good, both for UnNews and for a full article. Nice. Will take a peek in on Alfred, but he must be folded in order to see the hidden message. More soon, Aleister 1:05 10 10

Al, holy shit! You got double-feature on the front page! Never saw that before. COOL! Bravo. Cheers!--Funnybony    13:21, Oct 10

Thanks. Ya, DrStrange had a triple day run last January. Did you notice that you and I combined have four of the last six features? A nice run, which is why I hesitate to nominate Alfred right now. Too much of a good thing. The IP's may turn on us en masse and light a bonfire to burn our pages in. Maybe the Bear can squat on the throne of St. Peter. And wander out on the Pope's little balcony, and stand up on his hind legs as the crowd below cheers. Al minutes down the road

WAY TO GO, AL! LOVE THOSE EDITS. PLEASE DON'T STOP. ALFRED DOESN'T DEMAND IT OF YOU. Cheers!--Funnybony    16:32, Oct 11

Thanks, glad you didn't mind them. I'll do more later, not now, must do other things. Nice page on the bear in the Vatican. I linked the pope page and left a note in the summary box for you More later. Al moments later

You have aided in the fight against the manholes...

Lyrithya has deemed you worthy of a hug as thanks for voting for Crossbow on VFH. Thus, you may now consider yourself hugged. At this point, you may also want to consider checking your pockets so as to ascertain that everything is still there.

You have been rewarded with a hug. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101010 - 23:33 (UTC)

AWESOME!!!--Funnybony    16:33, Oct 11

UnNews:Pope still Catholic, but bear does not shit in woods

With a photo like that, it has to have the #1 spot! although it continues the long string of stories from kids who want to swear to a worldwide audience. If you like my headline in the feature list, consider renaming the story.

GOOOOOD! It has to have that title, because that's the specific joke, while the story is sober and tame. Stay cool! Cheers!--Funnybony    21:53, Oct 11

In the other story, on the NY gubernatorial candidate, my eyes glazed over from all the ideological labels in the first two paragraphs--and boil them down and you still get a GOP candidate making an anti-gay statement, which only gets funny when you read the real wire and compare it. Spıke ¬ 21:46 11-Oct-10

PS--As opposed to a week ago, there is now enough junk streaming in that you can consider the #1 slot a personal honor. Regarding the renaming, was your response an OK to Proceed? Spıke ¬ 22:38 11-Oct-10

Sure, Spike, however you think best is fine by me. Cheers!--Funnybony    22:46, Oct 11

And I was stumped on the Audio overnight--It seemed it would be fabulous to recite this lead dead-pan (and it was), but there was basically only one joke to it. But I minced some words, and the recitation of the history of the defecation site also begged for the dead-pan treatment. Spıke ¬ 12:15 12-Oct-10

HAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Great! BTW: That is, of course, much better. Please, if you have time, rewrite the article same as the broadcast, and we'll call it a collab. I love it! I'm on to older and worser things. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:34, Oct 12

I mostly did so before the broadcast; they are now nearly in alignment. Spıke ¬ 12:38 12-Oct-10

Great! And, for what its worth, I added you to my user page, and proud to have your name. We can collab like that any time you feel like it. My stories can always be better, and I appreciate when they are. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:51, Oct 12

Sorry

Didn't really get around to looking at the USE article properly. I will, I promise. Especially if you nag me a little. I'm just putting the finishing touches to User:Sog1970/Untweets: Noah, but after that no plans.--Sog1970 21:50, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

I put it here and wrote half an intro into how the United States of Earth could have come about (from a future perspective). I'm not sure it's very funny yet, or what you had in mind. So I've stopped temporarily - partly because I'm a bit pissed-up - too much Tetley Bitter --Sog1970 22:05, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

How do you think it's going? A couple of lines about completing the USE would finish my part. I wondered if it might be better to combine some of the shorter sections thereafter to make it seem a little less stop-start? I'll show you what I had in mind if I can find half and hour over lunch or something. Iechyd da--217.43.75.220 07:26, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, that was me. I'm sure you guessed.--Sog1970 07:27, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

I moved a few things round, but that'll probably be it. Do you want to move it back into the main space? That way you can choose whatever title you like. --Sog1970 18:00, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

Would you like a date? I've got a Disguise.

Just coming to whore "Disguise", at least a read. I guess asking for a reading is like a whore either flashing a potential john or strutting by in a revealing dress. Either way. Thanks. Your page about the homeboy talking the guy down from the ledge is really funny, that was a trip. I'd nom your bear in the vatican pic but don't know how, although for now it's residing well on main page. Working on the Chicago 7 page once in awhile, do you want to join that? I use Abbie Hoffman's name in some of my pages so must like his legacy. Maybe email discussion of the page. These seem to be random sentences. Lady GaGa makes music sound like a malted milk being made. One more random. Toes, what are they for anyway? Aleister 9:48 15 10

Bro, once I figured out how to remove the first joke, then I loved at the whole thing. Tricky-boy! Already voted. I agree about Romy. Are you going to Nom him for WOTM? Otherwise I will. Cheers!--Funnybony    09:57, Oct 15

Thanks! That was quick, but whores like quick. They call them "speed readers". More money that way. Except the really classy ones who know that takey longie time is better (I read about that in Tantra or somewhere). I worked on and polished Disguise for hours, and most people on VFH just talk about the mask. Did you find the hidden surprises? Another random: Can trees ever reach as high as the mountain, or are they content to root strong arms into the ground (Confucious, or Confusedcius, say) Lyhtieya wants to nom him too, maybe all of us can nom him at once, in November though, this one is your month for sure. Aleister a little clean-up and then onto the street again.

Sure, dude! I read it before reading your message. Once I figured out from Romy. It's super. Wikipedia can dream on... I also did a huge rewrite of the United States of Earth, that may be shaping up or down. Cheers!--Funnybony    10:12, Oct 15

Saturday Night Live

Al, bro, is there no Saturday Night Live page on Uncyclopedia? GAD! I think we need to spork the Wikipedia version so we have the bones, then remove the old body and make a new one one the same bones, like Dempsey. Man, Uncyclopedia might all go to heck if we don't have a SNL page - which even God would love to read. Lets do it! Cheers!--Funnybony    10:28, Oct 15 10:28, October 15, 2010 (UTC)

I've never seen USEarth, interesting first look, will read it in depth later (2010 gives way to 2011, then the apocolypse, then the post-apoc. look, a biscuit, then. . .reading it). Now it's a HowTo? Ah, Saturday Night Live, the problem I have is that the show is really bad. MadTV was much better. I seldom watch SNL, watched it during the election when Tina Fay was doing Palin, but that was just the first five minutes or so. So I don't know if I could do it justice, except in the negative. Thanks for having faith that I can help with it. I'll look at the wiki page and see what's there, but if you go ahead I'd be happy to jump in just for. I know that SNL used to have a following, I really can't understand why it still draws an audience. Aleister 10:38 15 10

To be honost I only ever liked the original cast, with JB, and Rosanna. Haven't really watched it since. That's why the only jokes I can think of all relate to the first cast. Maybe better wait. But USE is really happening. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:36, Oct 15

Well, maybe we can do a John Belusi page, or spork (but marked Spork), and you can work in members of the original cast into that. I think Lorne Michaels was the original producer, he's been with them for 70 years now. I wonder at the fact that they have 90 minutes a week to do anything they want and the vast majority is unfunny. Aleister 18:32 15 10

Al, I moved the JB work HERE.--Funnybony    10:05, Oct 17

Just came across this. Maybe you can kick your search engine, must be stuck or have something in its gears. The John Belushi page idea looks better and better, I really like your idea of making him live his characters. Aleister 10:39 18 10

John Belushi

Al, check it out - just an original non-spoker start...HERE. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:42, Oct 22

Will check later, I noticed you working on the page and crept out of the room. Is it fun? A drudgery? Does John speak to you as you write? Tell me, tell me, does he talk in your head, saying "No, WTF, don't give Akroyd so much credit!". Back later. Aleister 12:46 22 10

p.s. And two features by one person on the main page. I've never seen that before! Congrats!

Thanks

This is Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, delivering a message from LongLiverh3. He says, in between fantasizing about his teacher and gobbling nutmeg in a pathetic attempt to get high, that he thanks you for your vote. The asshole is too lazy to tell you himself, so he sent me.

~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 02:19, October 17, 2010 (UTC)

Alfred E.

Congrats on the feature! What, you worry? about it getting featured, and here it is! Thanks for your vote for Disguise, and your comment about it. I enjoyed working on that. I'll check out your new Sog page, and check out my newest page too. Have you decided to do Belushi at some point, using your plan to make him live the character? Nice. Enjoy the feature, Aleister 23:12 20 10

No, but thanks. Please remove me from any mention of the page. Alfred E. was a fine and sole work, I just added a few edits, not even close to a collab. You are really cool for suggesting it, but even Alfred E. would laugh at the idea. And it looks like someone else may get that two in a row thing. Damn, my i key is sticking and I have to go back over and over again to put those in. Grrrrrrr. Thanks again, thought that counts. Aleister 9:58 21 10

You are a Prince among men. Or a Duke among Indians. Or a Princess among Wookies. Or a Jew among Gentiles. Or a Leper among Stick-figure Lepers. If nice guy had a photo next to it in the dictionary, people would point to it and say "Isn't that Funnybony? Looks like him. Martha, come over here, look at this, isn't it. . ." Yeah. Aleister 11:02 21 10

Article

Are you serious? After your current run you're going to nom another page? I would never do that. No mas, no mas, give a rest, mon. Anyway, since you just had a success with Dempsey I'd change course and go with Punji Sticks, which seems colorful and has women lounging around. There are lots of things on VFH right now, so if I were you I'd wait (to let Cemetery have the first spot for a few hours) awhile. But that's if I were you. If I were you I'd also take a few weeks off and travel to India to see my old pals and gurus and such. Are any of them still there? Cheers' and things. Aleister 10:01 23 10

p.s. later. Ah ha, nice page. But your second paragraph in the lead of Punji sticks had my head spinning, it lost me about half a dozen times in the same minute (shakes head clear of snakes and flying spots). Would you mind if I put a hand in there for just a few tweeks for flow? Thanks.

I saved a few punji sticks from my service in the Queen's army during the troubles. We would run them down the middle of the haagis aisle at the grocers, where no proper englishman would go but where the irish and scots flocked to. Maimed dozens of the lepricaners without losing nary a man. Good fun, that. Aleister 16:19 23 10

Al, I did it! I made it all the way to VFH without stepping on a punji stick - hope it works this time. I need to add corresponding Wiki link. I wish all Uncyclopedia articles had Wiki link to the real article. And I appreciate spoofs on real subjects. Thanks for the editing, it made a big difference - as it always does. Now I won't nom anything for next 2 weeks during waning moon phase starting tomorrow until New Moon. Thanks again.--Funnybony    17:00, Oct 23

Man, you really did a lot. I was laughing out loud at your additions. Much appreciated. Lets see if she makes it. It's all about having irons in the fire. What is life without any irons in the fire? Cheers!--Funnybony    18:37, Oct 23

Punji sticks! It seems to have stalled, but is an unusual subject and maybe people don't really understand what they are. I'll try to tweek the lead to see if that would help. My two pages are just on the precipice, but hanging on with both hands to dry land. And at least one more topical one on the way. I was just kidding about too many pages on VFH, and now it seems lots of quality stuff is up there. I'll go stick myself with a punji again. Aleister 12:12 26 10

Oh don't worry, we'll drop to our usual levels soon enough.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

*poke*

Thanks for the votes on VFH, love. And I didn't screw up the one. Just for you... well, okay, it was actually more just laziness, but... ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 16:33 (UTC)

UnNews:Seventeen US nukes get away

You get the 1-spot for this; good photo, easy to assemble a funny lead, relates to an important story in the real news. I edited it a little--notably, the title; there's no need for a question mark as there is no doubt what happened (though there is on where). At your option: All the text about Gates's previous embarrassment--although I see where you got it in the CNN story--doesn't seem worth going into. Spıke ¬ 18:17 27-Oct-10 post-edited

Hey Spike! You're doing great. Much appreciated. Stay cool!--Funnybony    18:26, Oct 27

I've minced a lot of words, added twists such as calling DHL to pick up the warheads left on the runway, and am toying with doing an audio. My own story for the day, on the Mexican attack, goes straight from the straight to the absurd with few laughs in-between.

Your last piece, UnNews:Karzai admits receiving 'lorries of dollars' from Iran too, I found way too close to the facts. As I understand it, Karzai didn't receive cash, but his Chief of Staff did, and from the same country, and for the same reason. Apart from some amusing quotes, you have to really study the wire to figure out the differences between this UnNews and its source. Spıke ¬ 21:02 27-Oct-10

UnNews:Hurricane Shary misses Bermuda, deemed laughing stock

Hmm. Topical, and better than just a Russian-Reversal treatment. Only problem is that Paragraph 1 reads like a second paragraph of a news story. Fix it and I'll give it the 1-spot. Also, comment if you wish on my Forum:PF4Eva's "Shit That Pisses Me Off" namespace. Spıke ¬ 13:50 30-Oct-10

Too late. It's in the Lead. Damned Front Page redesign, however, doesn't yet see it in Recent news. Spıke ¬ 14:04 30-Oct-10

Thanks for the heads up, Spike. I fixed the opening sentence to be same as the real news. Hope it's better. Please make it best, bro!--Funnybony    14:09, Oct 30

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Awesome!--Funnybony    22:34, Oct 30

Je t'accuse!!! No {{News}}! No {{Date}}! You must have deleted them when you deleted the comments. No wonder it didn't show up in the headline list. Fixed now. Spıke ¬ 22:47 30-Oct-10

Oops! Yay Spike!--Funnybony    23:02, Oct 30

Election eve

I see you have uploaded a photo that suggests you are writing a pre-election story from the Obama point of view. Secret Agent submitted an anti-Obama story that I recently mercy-moved to his userspace (User:Secret Agent/President Obama declares himself dictator of the United States) as it was overtly political and not very funny--he seems to have agreed on his talk page.

If you would care to work on his story, I can guarantee you the 2- and 3-spots, for another point/counterpoint combo that will replace Paul Is Dead/Paul Isn't Dead. But make sure they are funny, and not just by exaggeration and caricature. The actual political parties are doing a lot of this, in dead seriousness, and it isn't funny. Spıke ¬ 13:45 31-Oct-10

(An Obama promise to save the planet to avoid an asteroid strike is absurd enough not to be mistaken for mere exaggeration. But remember that Obama did promise that his election would be seen as the moment the ocean levels stopped rising....) Spıke ¬ 13:46 31-Oct-10

Hey Spike! I agree with you removing that Obama "put down" article. I think plain old "bad mouthing" is not funny. Specially if it is obvious that the writer is simply an envious twerp. Such garbage article as Sam Worthington make me ashamed to be part of Uncyclopedia. That belongs in VFD as it stands. What do you think? Cheers!--Funnybony    14:06, Oct 31

The problem is not that he is a "twerp" but that he seemed to be doing electioneering. Again, our usual response is not to huff but to move to userspace for rework. He can take it to QVFD if he wants to kill it. But I am asking you instead to help rehab it as a counterpoint to your story. (PS--I've minced words in your story.) Spıke ¬ 14:11 31-Oct-10

When I was referring to "envious twerp" I was referring to a shit article on Sam Worthington, which is the kind of article that makes me ashamed to be here. It is so stupid, envious, and childish crap. Meanwhile, Sam Worthington is laughing all the way to the bank of world fame and fortune. I already wrote my election article just now. But I really take exception to articles like THIS, which I can't believe are allowed to exist here. Go see for your self if it is VFD quality. Thanks for the help. Y/s,--Funnybony    14:44, Oct 31

So submit it, why don't you. As for what I was trying to get you to do, never mind, I already did it and we have a new set of Front Page bookends. I took "2012" out of your headline for symmetry. Spıke ¬ 14:58 31-Oct-10

Now filed on VFD. Spıke ¬ 12:16 1-Nov-10

For you!

	Writer of the Month October 2010

Congratulations! --ChiefjusticeWii 07:10, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations well earned! And I'll take another look at Tony Jaa for you some time today. --Black Flamingo 11:52, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

And this!

This user is the

October, 2010

Playwright of the Month

Apparently, you're entitled to use {{PwotM|float|date}} or the userbox {{PwotM Userbox|date}} as a result. I don't actually understand this stuff, so don't ask me what's up with that, but a very well done to you on both of these awards, scriptwriter and writer. I'd say you've earnt them as well. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101102 - 02:22 (UTC)

Very well done, very well indeed

Congrats on both your awards. Well placed, I'd say. And much appreciation for voting for me for the BFF thing, which came my way and unexpectedly fell onto my talk page about half an hour ago. Thanks! Aleister 17:23 2 11

Well, it broached a topic kinda early, but just as well on a positive note. Jeez, I already made a lot more improvements to Punji Stick, removing both a gruesome gay joke and terribly cornball crap. But it just seems stuck on VFH. Maybe the subject is just too morbid. Like the article on Cancer just on VFH is a great article, but I'm superstitious about that subject, so dare not vote. Don't want to tempt fate too much. Maybe Punji Stick is the same - people think if the vote for it then they might step on a Punji stick. Anyway, I have three articles shaping up for VFH. I'll nom Tony Jaa because it has a Pee and I really made huge changes-upgrade. But it would be great if you could nom United States of Earth which is Sog and me on this 7th (New Moon day). I also made major overhaul of Mike Tyson which is already approved by MadMax, but is up for a Pee anyway - after which I'll nom it. I'm also waiting for Legocat to finish Annoying Orange article, so he can paste into his user page to work on. I left a funny Lego skit on your talk page (and below here). Yaosir!--Funnybony    17:48, Nov 2

p.s. And remember, you get to put this somewhere now:

Grand Cross of the Order

Thanks to all who voted for my Playwrite award and also to those who didn't vote against it

Excuse me, I have a couple questions...

Thanks for that Playwrite award. It's better than a feature any day.--Funnybony    17:18, Nov 2

Tony Jaa

Ok I've re-read it. It's definitely a lot better, so well done there. There are, however, still a few bits that Jaa with my personal taste (see what I did there?). Most of these are outlined in my review; the bit about him "simply overcoming" the speech impediment, for instance. Other parts include the elephants doing back-flips and the references to Joe Pesci. No offense but I'm not sure I can nom it just yet, despite how much better it is. Sorry. You can always try nomming it yourself of course, but I personally would like to see the back of some of the sillier, irrelevant stuff. --Black Flamingo 18:53, November 2, 2010 (UTC)

Dude! Okay, I addressed the things you just mentioned and also canned the "facts". Please recheck if you have time. In any case, because of your Pee now it is much better, and I can now nom it after New Moon (Nov 7). If you see anything you don't like please just delete it. No need to ask me. You reviewed it so it's your baby too. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:28, Nov 2

Ah, I didn't see this. Sorry. But you're right, it is much better. I just gave it a bit of an edit myself, nothing too fancy mind. Hope that's ok, feel free to undo anything and everything. If you're happy with it now then I guess we could give it a whirl on VFH. --Black Flamingo 00:08, November 6, 2010 (UTC)

Today's feature

Sorry to leapfrog your work with the National Enquirer story for today's 1-spot. (The 2-spot and 3-spot need to keep the Election Apocalypse point/counterpoint through the end of the day.) Once again, the difference between your rendition and the real news requires reading the source, so I didn't see a way to assemble a lead paragraph that was funny in its own right. Also, the photo was so long and narrow that, when moved to the Front Page under the 100px template, it would have been longer than the lead paragraph. Spıke ¬ 20:17 2-Nov-10

That's fine, Spike. You're doing a good job. Please keep it up. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:28, Nov 2

UnNews:Saudi "ink-pen nuke" blows up

This is cryptic and requires reading the source article to see the joke. I scrubbed it generally to make it look like news; added one absurdity: Obviously "this reporter" also perished in the blast. Also, the US government doesn't see terrorism anywhere and is eager to conclude that an obvious terrorist is really a "lone wolf." Illustration isn't compelling; find a better one and I'll give it the 1-spot tomorrow morning. Spıke ¬ 01:37 4-Nov-10

Thanks for the new pic. I kept working on it and had already assembled a paragraph for the Front Page, which picked up the new photo automatically. Election news will stay on top for now until a new concept comes along. Spıke ¬ 11:13 4-Nov-10

Way to go, Spike. That's a collaboration. Dude! I can't write a news that you couldn't improve on. And I hope you always do. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:18, Nov 4

Now with Audio. That's three for November, hint, hint. Hey--next time you edit {{RecentUnNews}}, don't let "bear does not shit in the woods" fall off the bottom. It's a classic. Instead, delete some other story in the lower half and give Bear a couple extra cycles. Spıke ¬ 12:38 4-Nov-10

AP--Qantas jumbo makes emergency landing in Singapore

Hey, this is almost your beat! Someone is having way too much fun! Get on it, Tiger! Spıke ¬ 16:39 4-Nov-10 PS--I've now done something with this, which is certainly not the same thing you'll do with it, if you do it. Spıke ¬ 12:16 5-Nov-10

Hey, Spike, that's good. You got it just right. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:42, Nov 5

Sam Worthington is counting on you, my friend...

The Christian Bale article was huffed a total of six times before I came along. --Matfen 22:58, November 5, 2010 (UTC)

Right! Even the Joe Pesci and Tony Jaa and Mike Tyson articles were huffed until I came along. But I need a collaborator for Sam. My take: It's not at all funny that he's an actor, good or bad. But it is funny that he's the son of god, a half human, who defeated the Kracken, then joined the Marines where he lost his legs, so he traded in his godly body for Navi body on Pandora, etc. What he really is it not funny (nor absurd). But what he was, and is now (last we looked) is highly entertaining. Please see the Joe Pesci article which shows how we turned the actor into his characters. Would you like to collaborate on this, Comrade Matfen? Welcome.--Funnybony    10:00, Nov 6

Siamese Uncyclopedia

• HERE--Funnybony    19:35, Nov 8

UnNews:What makes for a Facebook friend?

Thank you for the invitation in the Change Summary, but I don't know what to do with this one either. Not based on news (no, Yahoo is not news), doesn't read like news, is based on something; if I cared to click on your source, I would see exactly how you twisted the source. Especially, the mention of a popular comedian has me wondering to what extent you are writing comedy and to what extent you are merely reporting someone else's comedy. Should this be an UnNews Column? In whose voice?

The result is a goofy but dead-serious commentary on the issue of trying to fake one's popularity by amassing numbers. This is a real obsession, especially in Latin America, where social legitimacy has always been a currency, where no one uses BCC but everyone discloses their entire Address Book to everyone on it, and where any disclosure of your e-mail address will not get you the information you requested, but will get you interminable chain letters, about a year after the fact, and there is no way to cut them off without a rebuke that your associate will consider a personal insult. Spıke ¬ 19:39 8-Nov-10

HERE IS THE NEWS STORY SOURCE, YAHOO NEWS. Yes, it is an interesting news article subject. But I didn't want to just spork it, so I added my usual nonsense absurd truth. If it's already okay then no need to change anything. Stay cool.--Funnybony    20:03, Nov 8

UnNews:Iran mum on US mystery missile

The mystery missile sighted off the US West Coast would seem to be your department. I trust you know what it really was. Spıke ¬ 00:02 10-Nov-10

WTF? Man, Spike. What the heck? I have no idea. But perhaps Iran going silent a mere two hours later has some connection?--Funnybony    08:39, Nov 10

Ooh! nice tight headline. I fixed the dateline and extended your remarks in the 4th and in the final paragraph. Spıke ¬ 20:59 10-Nov-10

UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

Nov 11th, 2010 • Issue 94 • The Newspaper that shaves you closer!

The UnSignpost Rides Again! By Chief A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, the Rebels attained victory over the Imperial Empire and the last UnSignpost flopped onto talk pages. The drought came as Under user announced that he had a life to be getting on with, and at that point the UnSignpost simply stopped writing itself. Some people have suggested that these two events may be linked somehow, but until we see proof, we have resolved to live in ignorance. However as we hurtle towards the end of the year it would seem the magic has returned and the newspaper that confusingly contains neither news or paper will once again be arriving on talk pages weekly monthly annually whenever we can manage it. Newer recipients of the UnSignpost are urged to suggest ideas for stories in the press room; this helps as it means we don't need to pay attention to anything you people do every day. For now, please welcome the UnSignpost back into your homes and hearts... please? Speak up! By Chief For those of you who may be unfamiliar with The Article Whisperer, permit me to clear the waters somewhat with this bit of text I have, at great personal risk, copied off the competition page. It is: "An annual writing competition held by Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles", which I think we can all agree is absolutely splendid. Unfortunately, all our intrepid journalists were saving Kittens from trees and generally performing heroic deeds when the competition took place, but that won't stop us from talking about it. Lyrithya and Matfen were the biggest winners, or losers depending on how you look at it, each being Grand Champion of two categories. Competition founder MadMax was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, so we have made something up instead: "The competition was a great success and I would like to thank everyone who took part; especially ChiefjusticeDS who is absolutely fantastic and whom I owe many drinks", he might have said. The Article Whisperer is expected to take place again next year, and MadMax might have said "Take part or die", but probably not. The Aristocrat's By Chief & Mhaille Few competitions stir the loins more than The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, self described as Uncyclopedia's festival of frivolity and bad taste. The competition has three categories: The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball Best Bad Taste Article The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery If you aren't a writer (we are led to believe some people are not), then 3 Judges are needed for each of the above categories (see here). Seriously, this will be so much fun you will wish we did it twice a year... maybe. The competition opens on November 19th, so put on a stout pair of writing trousers and get going!

Check out these pages! Bed Never on Sunday Anything interesting happening? Zombiebaron That's so 2005 From our logs: 16:29, November 10, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 seconds ‎ (You're reviving the Signpost? Good luck! Now to think of a witty ban reason to get me in the "From Our Logs" section. Penis. That ought to do it. It would if I was editing it.) 04:27, November 10, 2010 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.181.83.75 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Normally you'd probably be reading a witty message from an admin. Obviously, I'm not one of those admins. Gotta tell you, you're missing out.) 10:36, November 9, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.42.244.217 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (List 350 reasons why I should care about your birthday, and I'll reverse the ban.) 08:10, November 10, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked EatPoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Alas, dear sir, you are afflicted with the stupid) 16:31, November 10, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 years ‎ (Stop being supposedly here and BE HERE. YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART) Biopic of the Week Do you hear that? Thought not, because this week we are taking a closer look at one of Uncyclopedia's true unsung heroes, Black flamingo. He has a whopping 12.5 feature credits; that's more than 5 feature credits and 6 feature credits put together! Not only that, but Black flamingo has been instrumental in keeping Pee Review afloat while you weren't. Respect this man immediately or I will punch a Zebra, that's how committed I am to getting him recognised. Head over to his talk page right now and doff your helm. Now, dammit! Don't make me fetch the Zebra. Old-school featured article of the week The term "Paul is dead" (PID) refers to an urban legend or a hoax perpetrated either on the musical group The Beatles by their fans or vice-versa. According to the legend, bass guitarist and singer Paul McCartney was replaced by a lookalike after his alleged death in an auto accident in the mid-60s. Proponents of this hoax cite obscure clues embedded within the Beatles' lyrics, symbolism in their album covers, and Wings as evidence that the "real" Paul didn't survive into the 1970s. This manuscript reveals the full chilling truth. I've read it, and it will blow your tiny mind.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

UnNews:Ohio teacher expelled for sleeping in class

I did a copy-edit of your article, got an Edit Conflict with you, and bulled my change through, walking on your change to "man-bites-dog" (which I like better than your replacement). I deleted your "US Supreme Court" transformation, as the result, to me, seems more ignorant than funny--that this would be heard by the Supreme Court breaks this reader's credulity.

Your Source still pointed to yesterday's missile-launch story, so I went to the Sandusky Register and pointed it to the real article--then, unfortunately, read the real article, which has several other excellent directions in which to pull this story, as I have now done. Spıke ¬ 21:55 11-Nov-10

Bravo, Spike!--Funnybony    08:18, Nov 12

Congrassolations

On all your pages creeping towards featurehood. Here's hoping they all make it! And are you in the market for a collab, I thought of a great idea a couple of hours ago and thought of you. More on that later, must run like the wind now.  For. your good work! Aleister 16:16 13 11

Bro! I'm getting long-overdue Mike Tyson ready for VFH, and it would be great if you could do your "Dempsey trick" on our hero Iron Mike. That would be an automatic collaboration. And it's ready for you now. Then I'll do any thing you like (almost anything). Whattya say?--Funnybony    17:09, Nov 13

USE features! And I still have no idea what it's about! --Sog1970 18:37, November 13, 2010 (UTC)

I'll play with Mike Tyson (as I have often in real life. He likes to win, and sometimes I have to throw the game or he'll get really pissed, and you don't want that, believe you me), thanks, and see if I add enough for a collab. Did you really want all those one-line sections? They seem, ah, unusual, ah, strange, ah, really fucked up man. The other thing I thought of, maybe not, you might see it as bad karma, but I'll run it by you soon. And congrats to both you guys on Un.States of Earth, a strange, ah, unusual, fucked up page. Aleister 22:18 13 11

p.s. Check out the new forum on Sog's 40th feature. With your USE collab he even gets a half-point over 40!

Bro! Where is the forum on Sog?

The Tyson concept was unusual. It involved an imitation bias. And giving his life in outline, followed by Fortunately OR Unfortunately. Each one is a joke. That's why they say (see code)...

Youth

Unfortunately.

To give the life stage, and leave the reader to ponder why is was good or bad. MadMax liked the concept. And when unregistered people started to add stuff he locked the page. He still likes it. BUT, if you think it doesn't work, then just consider you have the entire list to expand into paragraphs, like Dempsey. So either way is fine by me. Cheers! Hey! Didn't you recently have 3 FAs in a row? Man, never saw that before!--Funnybony    07:07, Nov 14

Ten. I had ten in a row, and was pissed because I didn't have eleven. Bastards. The concept of fortunately and unfortunately is interesting in an uninteresting sort of way. I didn't know if you had just given up on the page or not there. Will leave those alone or minor tweeks if I wield a scalper on the page. Hmmmmmm. Poor Robin Givens. Everytime I beat her up she kept yelling that I reminded her of Mike and wanted me more. Go figure. Aleister 11:37 14 11

Ten!? Right! Well, I've seen 10 in a row, but never 3 in a row. The Tyson page is an outline concept page that can be changed, enhanced, or left alone. Up to you. Dude!--Funnybony    11:47, Nov 14

DrStrange had three in a row, and something like six in nine days, which is why he won the second WotM in February. I had three out of four days, missed the hattick, BlackFlamingo just had three days in a row due to nobody changing the que! Would be nice if all of yours fell into place so you could have a real three in a row. I read the Tyson section again and liked it, knowing the concept. You have to have a discerning eye and a sense of some of the history to get everything. I'll try and make everything that comes before that worth Tyson's weight in chocolates, which it looks like that's what he's into now. 'Aleister minutes later

Diolch yn fawr iawn

Thanks for your overly kind words. I haven't really had time to think about the Amero thing yet,though I did read it. Is that for real? Actually, I'm now stuck on 60 hour working weeks and don't suppose I'll have much time for writing but I got three hours today and came up with this. Which I should be able to find some pictures for. No one ever PEEs my stuff any more because I think they asume I only put it there for a nom, but actually I really like a second opinion. So, hint, if you have ten minutes hint, fancy taking a look and telling me if it's any good? --Sog1970 21:31, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

Also

Thank you for voting my 40th feature this has enabled me to receive free electro-convulsive aversion therapy.--Sog1970 21:45, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

Beth syn cropian ar dy goes?

I really wish I'd kept up with learning Welsh, if I'd moved to Bangor earlier in the year instead of Yorkshire I might have been able to pick it back up again. Anyhoo....love the Invasive Airport Screening article from the other day, think with a tweak or two the Pamela Anderson image could do with on VFP.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

What is crawling up my leg?? --Sog1970 09:23, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

Michael J. Tyson

Do you like the new groundlings on the page? I'm feeling the need of an entire new section, and will play with that. The picture that Mimeo&Maximus put on seemed very funny, with a caption tweek, and at least on my laptop the page formatted well. Do you have a tight screen (oh, baby!) which compressed it too much? Congrats again on the current feature sitting on the main page, I can see the USofEarth from space! Aleister 12:00 15 11

p.s. Later. I pumped a couple of more steroids into Tyson. The last footnote on the page doesn't work now, and traps you outside the site too. Left it for you to check out, maybe it's just my computer. And reading about Douglas, he was a better fighter than I thought he was, so added appropriate "give him credit due" line on the page. The wikipedia page says that only one Vegas casino would even take bets on that fight. They underrated that guy for sure, ole fat Buster had the last laugh.

Al, you're doing a great job here. Made me laugh a bunch. Please edit to your hearts content. We both know about the same on this subject. I think the baby picture would work if changed to black and white and on right side of page. Awesome dude! Once this is ready then I'm ready for your next idea. BTW: do you remember welterweight champ Emile Griffith? I sparred with him in Vegas when I was 15. From the waist up he was built like an upside-down pyramid. Awesome guy. Really humble and nice for a world champ. He was in Vegas for his first defense after he killed Benny Kid Peret in his last fight. Benny called him a poof - big mistake - he was dead before the next day - literally. Please carry on and make Tyson as you like. Yey team--Funnybony    14:17, Nov 15

Thanks! If your screen isn't too condensed I really think the baby pic worked well where M&M put it and with the caption tweek, it balanced out the fat old man Tyson on the right. Can we go with that unless you really really really hate it (I've got a really really really good feeling about how people will like it), or how about we play a game of rock scissors paper jellyfish for it? You pick first. This Griffith guy coming at you like an upside down pyramid sounds kind of scary, I'm glad you got out of that game alive. And who is Benny Kid Ferret, and why did he die? Creepy, I'm a gettin outta here. /runs quickly to exit, throws it open, runs down dark back alley Aleister 13:36 15 11

Yeah. Read all about it HERE. We were both welterweights. I was 15 year old "The Golden Gloves Kid", but he was THE world champ. I was moving with my family to CA from NM and we stayed in the same Vegas hotel he was training for his next defense. I saw him eating alone at breakfast and asked my dad if I could talk to him. Pop says, okay. And Emile was so polite he had me sit with him for breakfast, and afterwards he took me to the gym he was training at (in the hotel) and I got to spar with him - strictly kid gloves. He was dynamite. One real punch and I would have been as dead as the "Kid". That death changed him and he was less aggressive in his career (mainly because no one called him a poof again after he killed Peret). If you search YouTube you can even see that fight. Benny never woke up. I was going to ask Emile about that, but just didn't. He was an awesome champ. Check him out. BTW: That baby pic is cool, but would look more real in B&W as a Tyson baby photo. But anyway you like is fine by me. Dude!--Funnybony    15:47, Nov 15

Al, watch THIS - touching.--Funnybony    16:14, Nov 15

Al, man you added a ton of material. I went through and fine tuned it all. But it needs you to fine-fine tune it. GOD! I love this line, "I think Jesus would have a toot with me and discuss stuff like "Why you acting like that, dumb mothafucka?". But, he would be cool. He would spar with me. No Christian ever did that and said "In the name of Jesus I spar with you!" HAAAA! Lots of laughs from the Al. And we both agree he was freakin' awesome boxer - a cross between a chain saw and a jack hammer. But, like all great men, he started fucking, and soon lost it. Even Dempsey was ultimately KOed by Poontang.--Funnybony    19:37, Nov 15

Thanks. I looked at all the stuff on Griffith, you had a very interesting encounter with him and also write about it very well. You bring the reader into your experience, nice. On the youtube vid, it was so sad how Griffith kept hitting on Peret's son at the end, feeling him up, nudging against him over and over, almost crawling onto him on the park bench. What a tragedy, that Griffith was so into the son of the guy he killed on purpose for calling him gay. Get a room! I'll go over Mike Tyson with a fine tooth-comb, and then when I have time I'll look at the page again too. Did you check that last footnote link, to see if it works on your computer? I'm still disgusted with that homo Griffith trying to boff Benny's son like that, and on camera too, and must log off soon to go mull over mans inhumanity to man. Aleister 13:19 16 11

I think...

I may have just ruined your Iranian UnNews article. Sorry. --Sog1970 09:19, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

Somebody hates this article enough to persistently vandalise it - good job! --Sog1970 09:44, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

That was the same 92 IP guy (under a different IP). The page covers a very important topic, yet seems to bury it quite a few paragraphs in before running with it. Maybe the news page can be chopped a little, and then Why?:Not an entire article about Islam's treatment of women. The concept that muslim men, starting with big Mo, treat women like they do is that they are deathly afraid of them, should be out in the memedom more, imnho. One thing that's always bothered meu about unnews is that all quotes are in italics, something not replicated in real newspapers, on the net, etc. A personal quirk. There, I've ranted. (and Sog, I've linked your great Egyptian Gods page to the lead of "Never on Sunday"). Which reminds me of an idea for both of you, why don't we work on the third great page of the Suddenly trilogy. There have been "Suddenly, Raccoons", "Suddenly, 'coons" and now how about "Suddenly, Ra" ? Just needs a marching Egyptian pic that can be photoshopped over three photos of events in history. How about a trio collab on that? Aleister 11:11 17 11

Yes, Stoning can certainly be a subject of an article. It's hard to feature UnNews because they're too short. Now there is no article on stoning. Muslims treat women really bad. The worst. Being born a female into Islam is a serious fuck up - by any standard. Should we do an article "Stoning"? - gruesome.

Italics, the only reason quotes are in italics is cause I thought that was the standard on UnNews. I'm ready to stop that. Its just more work anyway. Better ask Spike. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:31, Nov 17

Oh, stoning! I thought the whole time you were talking about muslim women getting stoned, man, and laying back and enjoying the music. Yeah, I think the italics are unnews standard, I tried not to use them in my few unnews'es and then they were put in, not sure. And I watched that Bennie guy's vid again and noticed he smoked. So Griffith didn't kill him, that was just a misunderstanding, a misperception. He died in the corner of the ring from smoking. Obviously. Aleister 12:37 17 11

WhatIs:The difference between stoning in Iran and California? <---here's an article. Hehe. Depends on where you live.

On Griffith, well, didn't he land several thousand punches between the time The Kid died and hit the canvas? Actually, first hand, my experience Griffith was a total gentleman, and Gil Clancy told him before that round, "Don't stop punching until he grabs or the ref breaks it up!" Neither of which happened. So he was following the instructions of his trainer, and also fighting for his own life. Benny The Kid would have loved to punch Griffith's lights out. Kinda like getting in trouble for speeding at the Indy 500. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:49, Nov 17

Aside from Parrant dying from smoking, poor lad, he did receive quite a pounding from the gay Griffith (hmmm, I wonder why he befriended your 15 year old self. "'bony, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"). The youtube vid of the last moments of the round shows quite a few punches thrown, but it looks like the last one, where his head goes way back and to the side, may have done the trick, and then the referee stopped it. The ref may have gone out for a smoke during that round, I can't tell from the vid. Aleister 11:58 17 11

In the heat of a fight 10 punches can get thrown in 2 seconds flat. The referee was afraid if he stopped too soon Peret's fan's would riot. And he felt so bad he quit after that fight. When I met him the last thing on my mind was his (or anyones) sexuality, of which I had no clue. He was like a demigod as undisputed world champ. And he was really nice, I suppose, because I was wearing a Golden Gloves jacket and treated him like the world famous champ he was. So I got to watch him train. It was really awesome. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:35, Nov 17

Yay! Those are nice memories. The sexual stuff was just joking. Your jacket and respect and attitude seem enough to make him treat you as an equal ("Come in the locker room, son, I want to show you my championship belts. Have you ever seen a belted champion naked?" ok ok, can't help myself). I best stop this now, but thanks for introducing me to this historical incident and all the vids. "Sonny, do you want to be my cut man? Here, let's practice" Aleister 13:05 17 11

Dude! I know you're kidding. I just want you to see my view of him as an African-American who really impressed me as a kid. He was wearing a suit at breakfast. And he didn't talk a word of "Jive" - he had no such thing as BNA like Tyson. He wasn't trying to kill anyone, and it broke his heart. He never recovered from that accident. But he's in the hall of fame with the best of them. Now, how about our other boxing collaboration on Tyson? It's pretty darn good now after all our combined edits. It's sitting on PEE for 2 weeks++ and is now qualified for VFH. Whattya say? Can I nom it?--Funnybony    21:11, Nov 17

Say wha? A suit at breakfast? He must have been up all night throwing dice in the back alley and stealing from white people. He snookered you, man, jive, say what? Word.

TYSON

Wait a bit if you would on Tyson, let me have 24 hours or so to work on it. I like to sculpt things over time, and haven't had the hours in on this. Thanks for letting me play with you on it! Aleister 1:19 18 11

Right on, bro!--Funnybony    08:25, Nov 18

You have features raining down on you like rain, or snowing down on you like snow (do you ever have snow there?). I added to Tyson, getting there. Put back the photo that M&M had placed there, like iz said, iz have a real good feeling about the photo and how effective it is, even in color (it could be Tyson as a kid, the hue is a bit dark). What do you think of the new sections and other stuff? If flowed pretty easily. Ah, just remembered, one question. In the opening, where "Iron Mohammed" was, what do the squigly lines say? Is that the "blessed his name" thing that must be used? If so, and even if not, that would be funny when he is mentioned again as the guard in the prison laundry! I thought "Iron Mohammed" worked there, but maybe that's too much for some parts of the world to take kindly too. Working on it today was actually lots of fun, thanks for the opportunity and the misplaced trust you put in me. More later, Aleister 12:28 18 11

Hey, Tyson is turning into an epic article, like Dempsey. I just checked all your changed, and added a tiny bit to the baby Tyson pic caption. Otherwise It's looking good. Let me know when to nom it. It's a serious collaboration now. Cheers!--Funnybony    13:38, Nov 18

Did some more on Tyson, and it is looking good. Put back the Eye of the Tiger stuff, as the section is named Eye of the Tiger and the twist is that Tyson tears out the eyes of the tigers (and then names them Buster, wishing he could do the same to Douglas). The caption of the baby pic seemed overtly racist to me, and the baby is dark enough, imnho, that it could be an Afro baby. Tried to make a good one. And put back the punching out of Dempsey's ashes (you took out the punching out of his ashes in the Dempsey article. I just find that extremely funny, so tried again to slip it past you in at least one of the two fight pages. Come on, wouldn't it be fun to punch out Dempsey's ashes? Be honest. Yes it would, and I would pay for the experience). Oh, and the opening pic seemed a bit dry now, so spiced it up just a little, seems funny to me and accents the point of his weight gain. What else do we need for the page? I dunno. Aleister 1:44 19 11

Bro! Wonderful! It's awesome now. Whattya say? We don't want overkill - it's long article right now, but just right. All your addition-subtractions are understood. Way to go. It's happening now. Big time. Tyson would be proud to read it. Although we shouldn't be anywhere near when he does. Stay well.--Funnybony    09:27, Nov 19

I'd love to see Tyson read it, if he's capable of reading. Maybe that first pic may get him to go on a diet. I've done one more very tiny tweek, just for language flow. So, yeah, seems fine. And for the Punji Stick page, don't be silly, no where close to a collab, although that was nice of you. I've put a note on my talk page and am using the feature template as a tray for condiments. Aleister 2:31 20 11

Thanks again for letting me play on your page with you. I read it again and it's really funny. You and I have cornered the boxing market, and maybe after a period of time we can do Joe Louis or somebody (Does Uncy have a M. Ali page?). If we do a third boxing page we can be a three-ring circus! And I notice you haven't been featured for a day or two. What went wrong? This must not stand! Aleister 12:34 22 11

Pesky Joe Pesci

Hey FB, I've been thinking about Joe Pesci and I reckon I've got some decent ideas for it. In other words, I'd love to try a collab if that's ok with you. I can wait to see how it goes on VFH if you want? --Black Flamingo 19:07, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

GREAT! If you look you'll see I moved the vulgar opening quote to the bottom quotes section. And took out the nonsense from the opening paragraph...now it reads more serious. But we do not want to parrot Wikipedia with drab boring content: Pesci's an actor=boring. Pesci's a psycho=funny. What do you think? I also deleted someone elses contribution of his famous victims. Making it also shorter. I think it's better already. But if we're going to Collab then I'll ask an Admin to pull the nom.. unless you really want to see it die... hehe!--Funnybony    19:18, Nov 16

I think the psycho idea is fine, I think we just need to talk more about his film career, ie. what he did on set and how he prepared for roles... that sort of thing. I have some decent ideas for Home Alone which I'll try to add later (unless you get there first, which wouldn't surprise me). And we should also go into depth abut Goodfellas and Casino etc. --Black Flamingo 11:35, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

That all sounds great! I'm going to go change my vote on the page just to try to keep it from being featured and see what you guys come up with. Masterpiece on the way??? Aleister 11:39 17 11

I added some stuff, removed some stuff. Hope it's ok. I'll leave executive decisions to you, so feel free to edit, develop or delete anything I add. I learned something pretty interesting during my research for this too, you know Pesci used to be in a band with Jimi Hendrix before they were famous? --Black Flamingo 19:25, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

GREAT! I haven't looked yet. But I was amazed to learn of a musical relationship of Pesci & Hendrix. Jimi was an acquaintance and we tripped out. I personally brought the unlabled raw-press acetate of Are You Experienced back from UK to USA and introduced Hendrix to late great John Peel (legendary & famous BBC DJ). I was involved with a group they both knew and loved. But Pesci? Jeez! That must have been before UK. Never-the-less I DID personally hear Al Pachino sing lead with Needle Park. I also heard Pee Wee Herman sing "I'm A Man" with Saxon. Cheers!--Funnybony    21:00, Nov 17

You've had a fascinating life my man. You also knew John Peel? I loved John Peel. --Black Flamingo 22:07, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

Cool, you know JP. He discovered us and sent us to London. Check out this John Peel BBC recorded quote:

“This (I Can Take You To The Sun by The Misunderstood) is to my mind the best popular record that's ever been recorded!”

~ John Peel, TOP GEAR (BBC Radio) Nov. 8, 1968

--Funnybony    22:24, Nov 17

Excuse me - and you're honoured to write with me?Sog1970

Yeah, Sog. The above stuff is not honour, it's just curious and a bit interesting. If any other Uncyclopedian ever shared a flat Jeff Beck and partied with Butterfield, Hendrix, John Peel, Viv Prince, etc , I wouldn't be surprised, and I'd be interested to hear about it. Hendrix himself only agreed to go to London on the expressed condition that he could meet Jeff Beck. Really! But around here (Uncyclopedia-land) those cats mean little. Here Sog, Hype, Guildy, and others are superstars. And excellence in any field is honourable, kind Sir! It is an honour to collaborate with you cats. Cheers!--Funnybony    08:00, Nov 18

UnNews:Scientists create and capture Antichrist

You have the 1-spot, replacing a talking-head piece of mine that was there for ten minutes. "If it bleeds, it leads (or breathes fire)." But keep working! The lead of this story is hidden in the second paragraph! The first paragraph is more or less the photo caption, isn't it? Spıke ¬ 12:32 18-Nov-10

Your antichrist page, Wow! Standing O! (and you partied with Prince? Just lost alot of respect for you, man. And the burning question: did he always party like it's 1999?) Aleister 12:51 18 11

Right on lead, Spike. Funny! Cheers!--Funnybony    13:41, Nov 18

Ra

I'd like to formally ask you if you would consider a collab on "Suddenly, Ra", and I've asked Romartus, Sog, and Mhaille. We'd need many writers, photochoppers, and Romartus and Sog's history expertise of the era and the God to do justice to Ra and to the third in the honored "Suddenly, Raccoons" series. Please, pretty please with high-grade sativa and a balloon marked "Yippee" on top? Aleister 13:11 18 11

Sure, pard! But I don't know anything about the subject. But I'll sure help any way I can.--Funnybony    13:44, Nov 18

Thanks, you can greatly help funny up the Ra pages, and it would be fun to do a short page with so many people. And this would get you to study other Gods than those sixteen armed elephants you honor, you pagan you (the best kind of hu-man). More on that later. Thanks for liking Tyson, are you satisfied with it? Maybe some more links and all. I loved the term "Trail of Ears" when that came, lolts (lol to self). I always hesitate to nom something early, just after finishing, since to me shaping comes with time and sudden inspiration. Although too much ruins a page, but a little more time for this one to cook? Suddenly, logging off soon. Aleister 13:47 18 11

If you still fancy nomming Egyptian Gods, I fixed it up along the lines of the pee it received and am now kind of bored with it. Actually, I didn't know anything about Egyptian gods before writing this and feel sure that everyone will know less once they read it. --Sog1970 20:39, November 21, 2010 (UTC)

Re: the above. "Ke itumetse gape" as they say. --Sog1970 22:36, November 21, 2010 (UTC)

Read All About It!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

Nov 18th, 2010 • Issue 95 • The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way she/he did!

Wanna cyb3r? By Chief Hailed by some as the final solution to the Uncyclopedia problem and others as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Uncyclopedia IRC channel has chugged along for almost the same amount of time Uncyclopedia itself has. We here at the UnSignpost have literally hundreds of stories to sort through every week and we have picked IRC for a reason, and not just because it is easy to spell. We chose it because the Uncyclopedia IRC is a community and often contains users who are never on the site (because they are lazy and idle), equally many users who frequent the site do not enter IRC (because they are idle and lazy), and those who do often prefer to do so in disguise. This is a disgrace, don't ask why, it just is. Our intrepid reporters have spent literally minutes on IRC this week in order to bring news of it to you, the uneducated and unwashed masses and to try and encourage you to make use of it. Whatever you want to use it for: reporting vandals, penis jokes, collaboration, penis jokes and incoherent babbling; IRC is there for you. It is also a way to get to know the dull uninteresting personalities behind the exciting usernames, but don't let that put you off. When our intrepid reporter delved into the IRC community and asked the first person breathing in and out for a quote about IRC they told us "..." which should certainly give you food for thought. If you have some time on your hands then why not learn how to windsurf? But if you are too idle and lazy then why not head on over to IRC and see the magic happening for yourself? I would and if I would it must be a good idea. Balls up! By Chief The stage is seated, the judges are set and the competitors are questionable in number, yes The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is almost upon us. The competition opens this Friday and entries will be accepted until December the 3rd which is... a little while after that. Our hard-hitting journalists will be present at the competition and will be speaking to entrants and judges alike over the next few weeks. Just think; if you take part your name could be in italic font in the UnSignpost! Think about how envious your friends and family will be! Remember, it begins on the 19th of November and we want to see blood! We need you! Shameless pleading by: ChiefjusticeDS The UnSignpost is like an office printer, in that it constantly breaks down, sometimes doesn't work for months at a time and occasionally spews out some slightly smudged pages. If you think you have something to bring to the UnSignpost be it your journalistic talent, ideas for stories or even just a warm and reassuring slap in the face, feel free to drop us a line in the press room. Also Meganew wanted us to mention the Grue Army in the UnSignpost, so we have.

Check out these pages! We're the worst in another way! Why?:Not Vote now! It's not as bad as you think! From our logs: 05:54, November 14, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked POPEYE FUCK U UP (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (1) You suck. 2) Stop sucking.) 06:10, November 17, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Frozen Korpse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Yes, Mordillo is the worst. That's no reason to be rude.) 17:01, November 12, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.109.64.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (I'll have some gay porn if you're going to the shop) 3:32, November 14, 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.0.147.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (I'M HAVING A FRIENDSHIP ANEURYSM) Biopic of the Week Know who it is yet? Know what time they were last here? No? Then you should probably be able to guess that this week we are looking at Aleister in Chains. Al has been hanging around Uncyclopedia for just under a year now, and in that time has picked up 25 feature credits and has earned the eternal hatred of many for his enduring good humour and incredibly annoying signature timestamps. If Aleister hasn't been responsible for a single one of your chuckles over the last year then you need to start reading some of his articles, that or cancel your afternoon appointments as you have died and failed to notice. I wouldn't recommend you post on his talk page or look at his user page as they are both just plain weird, offer respect, but don't doff your helm, you never know what might end up in it. Overlooked Page of the Week Things to do. Easing the pain in your pants since 2007. Newsroom UnTune of the week The Uncyclopedian's song

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeWii 14:25, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

Spike spikes Antichrist

Way to go, bro. It reads much better. That's a collaboration. Good stuff.--Funnybony    09:21, Nov 19

Pesci

I decided to give my comment here rather than on the VFH page because this is strictly a personal opinion and has nothing to do with the overall quality of the article - except for the subject. I have always felt that parody articles about famous people are a bit problematic. If you don't exaggerate the things they do in real life, you must fall back on what you have done in case of this Pesci article: mix his life and his movie parts. This might be OK, if the tone of the article was such that the implied author of the article actually could not tell the difference between those two - but that is hard to fake, because someone who cannot tell the difference probably couldn't type one word straight. That one has been done, too, I think several times. So, while the article may or may not be good inside the limits, I think even a totally imaginary subject is better than a celebrity subject. But as I said, this is a strictly personal opinion. Most people love to read about celebrities, parody or not. In case you want to continue writing articles about celebrities and suchlike, do study Guildy's articles, especially the ones about movie directors. Those are pretty solid. -- Style  Guide 14:53, November 19, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments. Spoofing a director is hard because they never play any roles besides director. But actors are way more fun. In my opinion the least funny thing about Joe Pesci (a character actor) is that he's an actor. The only things funny are his extreme portrayals. I always vote for Guildy based on his writing quality, but the humor is mostly too subtle, dry and sparse for me. It's impossible to find a type of humor all will like. Hopefully people will find Pesci to be a Funny Guy, and vote FOR. Otherwise Flamingo and I may be in deep shit with Pesci telling us, "You better get your own fuckin' army!" Now, a joke you may not have heard before: Two horses are at the race track talking. One horse tells the other, "Man, I was in this race once and got way behind. So I thought, 'there's no way I can win! Fuck it!' - when, all of a sudden, woosh, up the arse, and I won the race by a nose!" The other horse replies, "No shit!? That same thing happened to me once, and I also won the race by a nose!" A Grayhound over-hears them, so he comes over and says, "I heard what happened to you guys, and I gotta say, that exact same thing happened to me once too!" The two horses look at each other in wonder and one says, "Well, fuck me! A talking dog!" Cheers!--Funnybony    17:03, Nov 19

Main page extravaganza

You've got the main page covered with everything except the horoscope. And you probably wrote that too. Congrats, and thanks for entertaining the troops. Aleister 13:14 20 11

UnNews:Newsweek depiction of Obama as Brahman upsets some Hindus

You understand your "illustration" makes it impossible to feature this one? Spıke ¬ 13:55 22-Nov-10

That's okay, Spike. It's an insider Hindu joke that shouldn't be featured anyway, I just couldn't resist doing it. Cheers!--Funnybony    14:21, Nov 22

Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

Nov 25th, 2010 • Issue 96 • Putting the period in periodical!

Jimbo, Whales & The Worst 100 By Him again Those of you who regularly sit and stare at recent changes may well have seen a lot of tomfoolery with the site notice this week (that banner at the top which you dismissed two seconds after logging in). The reason for this is that somebody noticed that we are supposed to be a parody of Wikipedia and suggested we come up with something to parody Jimbo Wales' appeal. Zombiebaron duly obliged, then Lyrithya obliged too, then Olipro edited some code and the site notice you see today, or don't see, as the case may be, was created. Well done, them. Honestly, we have nothing bad to say about it. Except that I hate it as I do most things that come about through a process of honest endeavour. For those of you who didn't know, Jimbo does have an account on Uncyclopedia, an account he never uses, in rather the same way that I have a membership to a gym; I need one to be cool and so I have somewhere to hide when the black helicopters inevitably come for me. Jimbo is of course the co-founder of Wikia, which is rather like having helped build the Death Star except with less space and more super-lasers capable of destroying planets. Unfortunately, we haven't written a parody of the appeal yet. Well, we have, it just isn't very good. The team at the UnSignpost read both and after the laughter had died down we had a look at the Uncyclopedia one.... yeah.... but have our assurance, Uncyclopedia is working on improving it, and how could you doubt the people who brought you classics like Fisher Price and AAAAAAAAA!? The other item of news we have this week is that the reflections on this year are woefully lacking. Hurtling as we are towards the new year and the annual Cabal broadcast, you may want to consider adding an entry to the list in order that the administrators can sleep soundly at night. We refuse to believe that nothing of note has happened over the last couple of months because we've been here and can attest that something has happened every day. So get over there and do the editing, we'll be right behind you. Voting heats up By Chief The "of the Month" awards are in something of a state of flux at the moment as voters and nominators become increasingly unwilling to vote (or care) in some cases and more willing in others. "It's a sad indictment of the way we live," lamented Socky when our reporter spoke to him, though he did say some other things once we asked him some questions. This month on the Uncyclopedian of the Month award, Lyrithya has stormed ahead of competition, running up 16 votes at the time of going to press; we would say she was miles ahead of her opposition, but since she nominated both of them and voted for one of them we don't think she deserves it. When asked to comment, Lyrithya had this to say: "I hate you all". Meanwhile over on Writer of the Month, Romartus leads SPIKE by 7 votes. Neither of them were available to provide us with a quote, probably because we forgot to ask, but we took some of the things they said on the award page and through creative journalism summed up their thoughts: "This... is... my... award" is what Romartus said, though he may have said those words in a different order... and as part of different sentences. SPIKE just said "Yay," which was lovely. Things are far more exciting over on Noob of the Month where mega-noob rcmurphy and regular noob Putthatknifedown are neck and neck with 5 votes each. Things are of course far less exciting in the land of the other awards: Author of the Month is a gripping contest as gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Under user trudges towards the finish line arm in arm with gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Mhaille (he wrote a couple of lines for us once and they were amazing). Potatochopper of the month is also a rather subdued affair with nobody getting any votes, despite two people being nominated. Finally Reviewer of the Month has no nominations and thus, surprisingly, no votes so far this month. Why is this? We at the UnSignpost asked Uncyclopedia's dictator in-chief Mordillo what he thought; he agreed to consider the question after a stiff drink. We can only assume it was a strong one as we didn't hear back from him for 3 days. When he came back, he declared, "Uncyclopedia - UNITE! GO OUT TO THE STREETS AND DEMAND MORE BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE WELL SHAPED BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE THREESOMES WITH JEWS! and vote for NotM and RotM right? Trust us, we are the cabal, we know best". As Mordillo was being sedated, Socky bravely stepped in to fill his trousers and surprised everyone by saying "My thoughts on awards are that we should have a lot more of them and we should be a lot less serious about them. We could be having fun instead of worrying about drama. Voting will only lead to good results when not subjugated to logic." Socky went on to lay down his plans for ruling Uncyclopedia and restoring Germany to a dominant position in Europe; he left our interview early to annex Czechoslovakia, so thankfully we cannot bring you anything else from him this week. There is a point here, does Uncyclopedia need more awards? Or does it just need more contributors? All we know for sure is that you need to start voting NOW! Or tomorrow if you're a bit busy at the moment. Chief learns Latin; talks about lorums By Socky See {{lorum}} for a full transcript of his Latin writings.

Check out these pages! Mail Order Lobster When's your birthday? A surveillance camera!? From our logs: 13:58, November 21, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.112.195.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Enough time for you to go and have a bit pot of warm penises, just like you love them) 15:52, November 19, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.126.123.197 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck at vandalism. You should probably try your hand at cooking or painting or something instead.) 14:40, November 18, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.120.230.138 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (I dunno - you expose a paedo, then it's you who gets in toruble. Fuckin' liberals, eh?) Biopic of the Week Prowling the corridors of UnNews and VFD, SPIKE has earned the respect of his peers through a combination of three things: Hard work, immaculate record keeping and... hard work. SPIKE is often to be found speaking into a microphone for UnNews, saving condemned articles on VFD and generally trying to make the site a better place. While he may not have as many features as some people, he makes up for it through a huge amount of work; his userpage is a comprehensive list of achievements, good deeds and a lot of other information that you probably don't need but he is prepared to give at no extra charge. I need all of it, of course, as I am building a database which I plan to flog to a corporation at some stage. If you contributed anything to UnNews or nominated an article for VFD this year then this man likely got involved at some stage. Respect him and get back to work. Old-school featured article of the week Are you tired of being a small cog in the giant machine of what is, for all intents and purposes, an infinite and uncaring universe? Of course, we all are! "But how do I, a mere newborn babe/small child/university student/accountant/elderly person just steps away from death's door, whose gaping maw is opened wide in anticipation of my ethereal etherealness, the insignificant mote of dust that is me, passing through its opening en route to what will surely be a depressing and disappointing eternity, attain oneness with the universe today?" you ask. How? Here's how. Newsroom UnTune of the week Stalker An UnSignpost apology As you know, we at the UnSignpost make few mistakes, but it has been brought to our attention that we misquoted Mordillo and made him look like a bit of a weirdo in the story to the left; this is highly regrettable and we enclose his full quote here by way of apology. "the ongoing voting trend that is directed at obvious targets such as WotM and UotM are a cardinal warning sign that Uncyclopedia is not only the worst, it keeps deteriorating. How else would you define a community that is centered on awarding its writers and goody two shoes? What about young new fresh people that are hopefully insatiable redheads with abnormal fondness of threesomes with Jews and MORE blondes? What about the people who take the substandard manure that the above said writers produce and fit them into shape?! Are we all doomed to be old shapeless writers? Will Uncyclopedia become like Europe - ageing, overweight and smug? Where are all the young willing blondes amongst the population?!" Editors note: Mordillo then went on to say the bit our journalist was awake for in the interview. The UnSignpost bitterly regrets having him sedated against his will due to this misunderstanding. We will be sending a fruit basket round to him as soon as his screams of anguish as the doctor inserted the needle stop being quite so funny.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 01:01 (UTC)

Well fuck me, a talking dog

Hello. We'd better start whoring people to read Mike Tyson and consider a vote, the poor brute has been stuck on 7 votes for days now and is starting to tattoo the other side of his face outof boredom and frustration. Even Black Flamingo has forsaken Mike. A sad day, a sad day /shakes head, walks in circles In other stuff, that Gay Jesus thing was interesting. And your Joe Pesci sits neglected too. Enough to drive a man to drink. Aleister 1:50 27 11

Bro! If inane, embarrassing, shit articles sail through VFH, but good, worthy-subject articles fail... well, maybe we shouldn't play with juveniles. Perhaps I'll head back to Wikipedia where things have real value. I thought the Jesus article was plain stupid, if not mean; so stupid that I could not show it to anyone without them thinking me a jerk. I'm not interested in Christianity nor gay, but I'm plenty sick of both around here. It seems "Jesus" and "Gay" are THE key words on Uncyclopedia. Maybe this is really the YMCA..?! I'm not going to whore those articles. If I don't fit in, then I'm out. Cheers!--Funnybony    09:13, Nov 27

Maybe you just need a vacation, a break from Uncy. May I suggest a two-day three-night stay in the "Tomb of Jesus Bed and Breakfast" on the outskirts of Jerusalem, where gay waiters and bellhops will service your every whim. Here you can sleep on the slab that Jesus waited around on before he made his grand entrance, and roll aside the rock with the help of two gay angels, Enrique and Joey Two-Thumbs. Manna from heaven is served with orange juice every morning, and you too can feel like Jesus a'risin' when Doubting Thomas, the b&b's gay manager, puts his finger in the hole in your side. When you get back you will be refreshed, rarin' to go, and gay. Then, as most of us have observed and discussed at length around the Uncy sauna/salad bar that you have never written anything either Jesus or gay, Uncy's editors will eagerly await your takes on the subjects. I must now sign off to go to church, that new priest, who I hear has dedicated his life to Jesus, is to die for! Aleister 11:06 27 11

To turn seriously serious for awhile, imnho the gay jesus page is good, from one point of view, because it perfectly addresses the people of the world who cling to their private image of jesus, and use it to justify hate, war, meat eating, and all the rest. On Doc's page one Jesus turns gay while all the other Jesus' comment about that particular Jesus, saying, if effect, that there is no one image of Jesus but billions. As with Ramakrishna finally having to banish the last remaining image in his mind, the Divine Mother, and bursting through to enlightenment, the world's people are bettered when one of the major memes holding their limited worldview together--Jesus in this case as in many cases--is given more space by virtue of enlarging it. Hence the overuse of Jesus at Uncy, the subject is in desperate need of more space in people's minds! The gay stuff, I don't know why gay is so common here, it's just gay to be so focused on gay. Maybe, serious again, because gay people were so oppressed throughout recent western culture and religious culture that it, too, as a meme, enlarges its space everytime a new twist or angle is taken on it. Just realized how long this is, and my comments too! Aleister 11:40 27 11

Obligatory Message

This Sort Of Obligatory Message is now presented to a Lovely Person who voted to feature the Important Quest and everything that it dragged along with it. Thanks, mon. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101127 - 03:53 (UTC)

Comment

See my comment here please. In case you missed it. --ChiefjusticeWii 18:59, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

I'm glad you liked Yogi, but what ever was getting on your tits almost certainly isn't worth the expended anger. Save that for the likes of General Westmoreland who clearly deserve it more. --Sog1970 00:06, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Isn't Yogi Berra gay? I thought he and Mantle had an affair, which is what threw Mickey off his game at the end of '61. The left room for Maris (also gay) and his "best bud" Whitey Ford to cunoddle with the boys over in the front office. But what do I know. Aleister 10:40 28 11

Rock and Rolls

Do you see any room for a collab at Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? It would be great to have you play on the page, and I've let it linger for a long time. Maybe a couple of new sections would be perfect for this stalled elephant. What do you think? And me asking you isn't a response to the recent dust-up on rock and roll, it just reminded me to ask you. Please, pretty please with classic Fender equipment on top? Twanks. Aleister 10:43 28 11

p.s. I putzed around with it. One problem is that it needs a section or two in-between the lead and the induction of new members sections. A big part of the body of the page is missing there. And a couple of more events in the "events" section at the bottom. Most of the page is actually pretty good, if I maize say so myself, not having read it for quite awhile.

Of course, bro! I was going to mention your name in that appeal but wanted to ask you first. The main thing is that R&R is not a 'type of music', is a huge number of types of music, prominently from Elvis, who kinda invented it all, to the Rightious Brothers, Buddy Holly, etc., and all the blues and R&B guys who influenced the UK invasion, leading to the USA explosion, and ultimately covering everywhere between the Beatles and Prince and Micheal Jackson and Queen and Chuck Berry and Kiss; and not to forget The Supremes, Cindy Lauper, Joan Jet, Brenda Lee, and all the female rockers. It's a huge subject. To suggest that it needs a few more sections is the under-statement of the year. The best thing is to spork the Wikipedia article, to make sure we do it right, and then do the Jack Dempsey on that structure. Otherwise its too big a subject to do it justice from memory. In fact, R&R is so many types of music that if you just take only one genre, like "Psychedelic music" and that also has over 20 genres too. So why don't we experiment by doing Psychedelic Music, which is long over due, and about which we both know a lot. I think Romy knows a bunch about it too, and he could help possibly. British Psych was very different to USA Psych - like just compare the The Lovin Spoonful to The Who. Take a look at Psychedelic music. And I'll spork R&R from Wikipedia so we can trample on the record. Yea!--Funnybony    11:41, Nov 28

Eeeek. No, not Rock and Roll, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which would just touch on the overall history, too big a subject for the Hall of Fame page. A tight comedic summary there would do. I don't know enough about Rock and Roll to do the entire subject, although if you want to tackle it maybe a few people can collab. Sporks bother me, I know the Dempsey page worked well, and I've putzed around with the Chicago 7 which needs much more work, trails away. Aleister 11:58 28 11

Bro, are you talking about your R&R Hall of Fame? Or the vast subject of Rock and Roll? If you want to focus on any particular genre, let's start with Psychedelic music. R&R is too big a subject to do in one go without having facts straight. And the current version is just "revenge of the nerds". Cheers!--Funnybony    12:16, Nov 28

Yes, the Hall of Fame. Not the vast subject of Rock and Roll. And your psychedelic music page is great, I'd be happy to do a few non-collab edits or tweeks if you'd like. But since this is all started, if you do Rock and Roll I'll be one of many collabs, it's like a colonization page but with you as the lead. Any thoughts on the Hall of Fame page? Maybe you can take a quick look and come up with an idea or four. Aleister 12:21 28 11

p.s. Wowwww, what a beautiful pic on Psychedelic music!!! Did you create it? Thanks for posting such a masterpiece.

Shoop Obama

Got time for some minor shooping? Could you do an edit on Image:Obama1.jpg to give him stitches and Band-Aids? This is of minor importance, as my UnNews (in the 2-spot) is of minor importance, but it might be minor work to you and might be useful in the future if UnNews explores the Battered Obama theme. Spıke ¬ 11:58 28-Nov-10

Come on out Funnybony

That you? That elephant with a crown or something? You come out and fight like a man. What those things you wrote about me? I ever do you wrong? Funnybony, what kind of name is that? Like a funny bone or somethin? Just give me one punch, its all Im asking you. Come on out and show yourslef. Now how do you type this thing? cracker. Mike Tyson 20:28 28-Nov-10

This is the funniest thing that's happened all year! --Roman Dog Bird 20:30, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Awesome! HAAAAA! Great! I agree with Roman. Man, if I can meet Mike Tyson the first I'd do is tell him about my Golden Gloves career. How I sparred with then World Champ Emile Griffith when I was 15. He would think that was motherfucking cool! Because that makes me his GG brother. Now let's get together with the Champ, so I can tell how much I enjoyed watching the show.--Funnybony    21:10, Nov 28

UnNews LOVES Spike

That ain't no lie, bro!--Funnybony    22:39, Nov 28

Dumelang!

It's that shit Rock and Roll article? We could always write a rock 'n roll article and show how good that might be. Also, is this sort of thing still offensive to Americans? I was more than a little inebriated as I wrote it, which is why I spelled the title wrong. I was quite faithful to the original rhyme scheme however. God knows where the pictures will come from. I was reading the original to my son - it's over 50 years old! which makes me feel ancient. Not as ancient as you, obviously....--Sog1970 23:26, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Sog, being ancient has it's advantages provided one has learned their lessons and survived lifes trials. The heavier the tribulation the more lessons learned. The only reason I call R&R article shit is because the writers are talking shit. What else? Sure we could do a spoof on R&R - but we can't be acting like jealous nobodies. Lille people are only qualified to judge little people, and great people are qualified to judge great people. What's so cool when an ant tosses grains of sand on an elephant? It's pathetic. And I lost some respect for our top most writer because of the R&R travesty - as funny as dead babies. For a start any article on R&R should start with a pic of Presley. It doesn't have to be a history of rock, and we should not tell readers what to think. I'm game.--Funnybony    00:14, Nov 29

Let's do it then, it sounds like fun. Can't see why it can't be done in a more subtle way than the other one and still be funny. Did the Dr Seuss thing make any sense? --Sog1970 08:31, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Sog, Sure, lets do it. But it can't be a childish envious pathetic rant like now. So childishly negative. I'm not going to remain quiet when my world-renowned friends are being bad mouthed by little people who aren't notable enough to shine their shoes. Bad mouthing is never funny, and depending on who is doing the name calling it is pathetic more or less. The right way to make fun of R&R is like your sentence here from Yogi, "He played out almost all of a hugely successful baseball career at the New York Yankees and became one of the twentieth century's greatest philosophers despite quitting school in the eighth grade." Like this, by praising them, followed by introducing a stupid fact that contradicts what was just said. We should not tell the readers what to think. We should do like you did with Yogi. Spinal Tap didn't have some talentless dweeb come up and say, "Rock stars are stupid! Rock stars are stupid!" That's pathetic. But it showed the stupidity, it didn't tell us. Also, calling hugely successful talent with bad names is likewise not friggin funny. So to do justice we have to avoid bad mouthing totally successful people. We also need Aleister's help because he knows the music scene. Question is what is the definition of R&R, when a single genre, like Psychedelic music, has 20 subgenres? R&R is hardly a "Type of music" - it's 200 types of music. Its a life style, it came from the blues, and spread in all directions, with Presley really giving meaning to the name R&R. So - kind Soggy, please start her up. How about we make it a lecture by John Peel on BBC Radio? Like I did with Lord Monckton? Let John tell the article in a lecture on R&R. Yeah--Funnybony    17:05, Nov 29

Tyson

What about Little Richard? Why Presley, who just stole the stuff and ran with it. He had something, that's for sure, and translated the music into "white", and the hip thing. Well, okay, Presley fucked over Tiny Dick, and Chuck Berry too. And what happened to the pucnhing of Jack Dempsey's ashes and slapping Muhammad Ali upside the head, not to mention the tickle fight with Joe Louis. Dude! Bummer. Did Tyson intimidate you? Was that it? Man. /walks away to find Tyson to kick his ass Aleister 00:50 29 11

Well, I felt like it was wrong to tell people what to think about Tyson, and those parts seemed a little over board. But they are option edits and you can revert them. That's always the case. Presley, really put the roll into rock and vide versa, everybody copied some body, but Rock and Roll, as such, started with elvis, or at least he made it popular as a genre. He's the King. Nobody argues with that. But making fun of rock stars is easy if you just show dumb real stuff and do not tell the reader what to make of it. Like Spinal Tap. Cheers!--Funnybony    01:07, Nov 29

Elvis forever. Did you see the movie "Elvis and Nixon" (I think that was the name). Good film. Tyson got to you. How'd he do it? Women? Tigers? What'd he do to you? I loved those parts, of course they were over the top. My thinking was Tyson wanted to be the best, so he'd have to punch out Dempsey's ashes and have a tickle fight with Joe Louis, and then force Ali to give him an autograph when he didn't want to. It's like me counting coup on Jimbo Wales's talk page, you've got to punch those ashes out if the guy isn't there. Now let's go dig Elvis up, steal his body, and get those hipbones up on the mantel. Rights next to Garcia's skull. Collect all ten! I best add that to the R&R Hall of Fame page somewhere. Aleister 1:17 29 11

Thanks! I've edited that section again to make it easier on Tyson while keeping the "jokes" (which nobody except Tyson's friends will laugh at). Does it seem okay to you now, or is more needed? And I can feel the energy building towards the Rock and Roll page, and if you and Sog really work on it both wikipedia and wikileaks may have to close down from shame at not having the best Rock and Roll page in the known (and unknown) universe. Aleister 13:17 29 11

Hey Al, sure, that's fine. Like I said, my edits are always option only. Did you read my message to Sog on R&R?--Funnybony    17:13, Nov 29

I did, and I would be happy to join in as a minor player. Thanks for the invite. I saw you want to pull Mike Tyson, what ideas do you have for improvement? Let's chat, man, over arab coffee and other goodies, and come up with great plans and greater pipedreams! Aleister 20:08 30 11

Well, it really doesn't need much to be ready again. Just double check that we have no "sniping" because there is a lot we spoofed that was spoof worthy, and, perhaps some that is not spoof worthy. We should not snipe whatever real greatness he showed to become one of the most famous people on earth. It also needs to be free from any temporary handicap caused by my unassociated objection to a "misnamed article". Yeah, bro!--Funnybony    20:59, Nov 30

Concious, to know that overlap on one subject should not affect another. I like the page very much as it, but there is always room for improvement. I was a little uncomfortable, actually, with the lead, which most people might read and then quit reading, should be a real punchy lead with maybe less bad attitude stuff (maybe one sentence and then accent other stuff to come on the page). But maybe best if both of us take a few days away from it. I'll start now. . . .Aleister 21:09 30 11

Rock and Roll

Your comments on the Rock and roll article indicate that you don't understand the satire, which can happen. Multiliteralist describes it well, if impatiently, in the VFH nomination page for the article. We are satirizing the pompous elitist asshole who takes for granted that his low opinion of this great historical musical style matters. I am a huge and if I say so myself very knowledgeable fan of rock and roll, and I find people who hate it to be right imbeciles, generally.

I often have written in the Unreliable Narrator style, where the author-character is the one being satirized (rather than the actual subject) and it is very often too subtle for some readers. It is similar to Michael Jackson, though a different apporach. Please try to re-read it with that understanding, but I hope having to have the joke exlained to you won't spoil the humor for you... -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 00:03, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Globe, thanks for the explanation. But lets start with the Jimmy Page caption. It's as funny as a dead baby. Have you guys actually met Jimmy? Or is your music expertise confined to the audience? Name one rock star on Jimmy's level who is your friend. Jimmy and most are not Pompous dicks any more than Kirk Douglas is Spartacus or Bobby De Niro is a taxi driver. The thing many people miss about R&R is that its "show business". What you are trying to explain was done perfectly by Spinal Tap, and musicians all laughed. But Uncyclopedia's R&R article is not funny. Simply your article needs a name change.--Funnybony    08:24, Nov 30

BTW: This is not about R&R. I had the same objection to the Sam Worthington article, and I know nothing about acting. But I know that what it took for him to land and achieve his goals is a global success of no small measure. I just don't like sniping articles because they sound envious. Call the article Rock and roll snobs, or some such, and then you wont have to change anything except the Jimmy Page picture, who, I assure you, is not a snob. Would the audience rather Jimmy comes on stage appearing like St Thomas Kempis and recite the Lord's Prayer? No. Then why snipe a genuine talent for being extra-ordinarily good? I loved Spinal Tap, and no one had to explain it to me. But current R&R article is unshowable to anyone in music. It sounds like the snobs are the authors. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:28, Nov 30

And this you have written is fine: We are satirizing the pompous elitist asshole who takes for granted that his low opinion of this great historical musical style matters, so, why call it "Rock and Roll"? And what of the talent with a HIGH opinion? And what if it's the world that says something matters? Call your snipe "pompous elitist assholes" and leave R&R to be spoofed correctly. So that musicians will also laugh.--Funnybony    20:36, Nov 30

(F.B., did you see my new post in Tyson, above? Thanks) The dynamic here seems to be an author who had a vision for a page and wrote it up, and someone who loves the subject and wants a page which will do it justice. Both are valuable. As Sog and Funnybony and maybe myself and others have discussed doing a very good R&R page would you be willing to change the name, and then help on the new page? That may be a good solution, although I'd say Funnybony and Sog should take the lead for sure. As for loving something which is thrashed, I have great respect for L. Ron Hubbard and his writings (not so much for Scientology as an organization, but if you can afford it then it's one of the best things someone can do. I'm not a Scientologist myself, but know and have worked the material), yet I haven't gone in and tried to change the Hubbard articles here, which are very inaccurate and ranty. I would suggest if people like the two mentioned want to do a R&R page (maybe in a user space?) it may be nice to sit back and watch the show unfold! Aleister 20:40 30 11

The Jimmy Page joke is actually very funny - it says so on the article talk page. As you can see, humor is subjective. I am 100% certain your blanket statement that musicians would not laugh at this is incorrect. I bet as high a percentage of musicians - even the highly paid ones you think I'm somehow jealous of (huh?)- would laugh as non-musicians. This is not envious sniping at all. It's just a style of article that you don't relate to and it happens to be attached to a subject you are emotional about. There are innumerable articles on this site where the subject is not the target of satire this way, and many of them are highly regarded. Whether or not this one is a funny article is not a function of its chosen style - it is funny if it makes you laugh, and it clearly makes some people laugh. The worst thing to do would be to try to re-hash the success of Spinal Tap (which I consider great satire). No, I would personally object to ruining the subtlety of the humor here by changing the article title to focus on the author's attitude. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 06:40, December 1, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Globe,

Well, there is no sense in arguing about what is or is not funny, because that will always vary. One time I met this guy and we were talking, I told him, “Hey, you want to hear a good Jewish joke?” He replied, “Fuck no! I’m Jewish” And I really respected his reply.

The question is the title. You say everyone will laugh at your insults, but the article got voted out of VFH and I only get one vote. So you can’t argue with that. You have misappropriated a subject name that you have filled with petty-minded sniping and insults. And the majority of people didn’t like it. Some felt it was misnamed. So that was the verdict. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:27, Dec 1

UnNews:Apple unveils iWeapon

Here again, sort of hard to boil out a catchy lead paragraph--or understand where the humor is without comparing it to the Source. Having done so, tell me: If the gunner can program the round to detonate 0.1 second beyond the target, could his disaffected Commanding Officer not pre-program the gun so that the round detonates 0.1 second before the trigger is pulled? Spıke ¬ 22:27 30-Nov-10

Spike! HAAAAA! Funny! Please add that feature. Maybe hard to get a lead paragraph, but headline no problem: # "Apple enters weapons trade with smart ordnance." I just thought the obvious more for Apple would be from smart phones to smart ordnance.. you know, smart bullets that can peek behind doors?--Funnybony    22:46, Nov 30

What am I, your mother??? Is the above headline a little catchier? Spıke ¬ 23:00 30-Nov-10

Hey, maybe you are my Mom!? Perhaps a DNA check is in order. If so, you owe me a lot of back allowance. And sure, the new news title is twice as good. Yo bro!--Funnybony    11:39, Dec 1

That's silly

Retitling your story and tightening up the first paragraph doesn't earn me a "collaboration" as noted on your user page; it's simply part of the job of preparing the Front Page. But the story could stand for you to reread it and delete parts that are there as part of the spork and don't actively contribute to the laughter. Spıke ¬ 22:33 1-Dec-10

Blessing or cursing

Spike is Funnybony's mom? Damn, strange things afoot 'round these parts. Hello, can you take a quick look at this gemmy thing to see if it passes your Jesus-rant test? I know you don't like the Jesus pages here, but nothing wrong with Mary strutting her stuff, is there? And the page is deeper than it looks on a glance. But, yeah, your blessing or curse would be an indication if it's too Jesusee or gay (not much gay in it, if any. I can put some in if you'd like). Thanks, Aleister 13:49 1 12 (Happy December!)

p.s. There is one gay. But only in a footnote, so not very much gay. Like one of the shades of the rainbow, but you can't tell the rainbow is there because you only see a little orange hue, until you open the door and walk outside and the whole damn gay rainbow pokes you in the eye.

Hey, Never on Sunday is funnnnnnny. Really. I'll vote for that. That's an interesting list of religious whores who WILL work on Sunday. Who wants a Christian whore anyway? Good one. But be sure to leave a note on the article's talk page telling that the "joke is funny", like they did on Rock and roll. - Hehe. I like the Tyson first Para. That's whats funny about him. Not his boxing, that's great. But the chip on his shoulder is funny. What do you think? Cheers!--Funnybony    15:03, Dec 1

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UFFL Week 12 Update By CheddarBBQ Now that it is so far into the season that everyone not involved with the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League, as well as many that are involved, could not possibly care, what better time for an update? After eleven gruelling weeks, it seems that on top is the one and only Doritians, Take II, with an impressive W-L-T of 9-2-0 and a current six-game win-streak. They are also the only team to currently have a clinched playoff spot. For those not aware, the Doritians, Take II are the follow-up to Cheddar's Doritians last year: an Eagles-based team that performed, to put it frankly, shittily. When asked to comment about his surprising victory, Mr. Cheddar claimed, "GET RAPED SON." Elsewhere in the league, there is currently a tight race for 2nd between the Oklahoma Boomers (who are currently in first point-wise and have the season record for highest score in a game with 168.14 points), The DC RacialSlurs, The Dudes, and Lepus Muerte. The real secondary story revolves around league commissioner and possible Nazi-supporter Rosenkrantzenpants. While last year, the German team took the overall victory with quite ease, this year's team is not so magnificent. After many losing streaks and strokes and bad luck, Rosenkrantzenpants has barely been able to pull itself past an even Win-Lose ratio. However, despite a poor record, he maintains 4th place point-wise. The Well-Dressed Pickles again still have yet to win, most likely due to having six of the worst players in the league (two of which are out for the the season) and a refusal to edit the line-up. The Bearasorta Vikings aren't doing much better. Also, you should watch The League on FX. It's a damn funny show. Aristocrat's Update By ChiefjusticeDS The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rumbles on, and as the closing date looms like a fat man over a large cake, the question on everyone's lips is "What's the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball?". In case you have recently returned from an Uncyclopedia hiatus or have been hiking through the Amazon Delta wearing nothing but a pair of slippers, I will explain once again: the ATDB is a festival of frivolity and bad taste, highlighting all those fine, fine contributions we never want to see featured. The UnSignpost sat down with competition judge Lyrithya to find out what, if anything, there was to know. "I would like people to stop asking me for help," Lyrithya moaned before our journalist could open his mouth, "Two people have so far already" The UnSignpost infers from this that the competition is truly a desperate one this year; some entrants have clearly been pushed to the limits of their sanity and have begun searching Uncyclopedia's back alleys for writing tips. To round off our interview we asked Lyrithya who she thought would win. "That guy," she said emphatically, indicating a nearby vending machine, "His article is excellent." Whose article she really means shall remain a mystery until the results become known on December 10th. The competition closes for judging this Friday at 00:00 GMT, so if you want to enter, you need to do so soon. The UnSignpost will be there to bring you the results when the judging has happened unless something more exciting happens. Unlikely, but we live in hope. The Grue Army By Meganew For almost a year, most of our classic usergroups remained in pieces. Groups like the Uncyclopedian Forces, the UnAnarchist Party, the UnFire Department, and yes, even the Grue Apocalypse. The economy also dramatically collapsed, with commerce reaching an all-time low. However, one group stands out among all: the Grue Army. After their leader High Gen. Grue went AWOL, the once-proud Grue Army was left belly-up with only 4 of the original members still in. The decision to revive the group was made and Meganew has been seen wearing Patton-esque General's clothing ever since. Some newer users had joined up with the group already, but it wasn't enough to equal a full-scale revival. Therefore, the leaders decided on an unusual plan of action: pick who they thought would be the 10 best candidates for the group. After some of the candidates decided not to join, the plan was expanded to all of the twenty users originally selected. Some have responded and have become active Grue Army members, deep in-the-cave reserve members, and allies. Some people have questioned the need for another group of people who don't do much, but are happy to tell others what to do, as we already have site admins for just such a job. This has been a shameless advertising promotion from the Grue Army, Join Today!!!

Check out these pages! Fap fap fap!! Celebrate Mediocrity!!!!!!!!! Ever get that "not so fresh" feeling? From our logs: 05:45, 25 Novemver, 2010 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked ISLAM WILL DESTROY YOU IMPERIALIST SWINE LIKE DUNG (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (ZOMBIEBARON WILL DESTROY YOU ISLAMIST FANATICS LIKE DUNG) 06:27, 24 November, 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked I will blank a userpage (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (cute) 07:42, November 28, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 99.35.10.15 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Such spirited hi-jinks and individuality.... I MUST DESTROY) 17:33, November 30, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.77.131.29 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Here's yet another reason for you to hate Jews) 21:01, November 30, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Avianion (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (cyberbullying. also, coming from Halifax, which should have some kind of law against it.) Biopic of the Week It seems only proper that this week as we pass the 5th anniversary of its featuring, the UnSignpost should take a look at perhaps the biggest in-joke Uncyclopedia has ever seen: Euroipods. For those who don't know, Euroipods was intended to parody the marketing campaign for www.euroipods.com, which ran from mid to late 2005. However, despite the effort, detail and effort that went into creating the article, some users couldn't understand what all the laughter was about. Stories of the clashes on the talk page of Euroipods are still told whenever veteran Uncyclopedians gather round a modem to compete in tales of blood-chilling terror. The article spawned several spin-off articles, since creativity is next to regular bathing on the list of things Uncyclopedians will avoid if at all possible. All hail Euroipods, may it stand forever as proof of our commitment to being the worst. Old-school featured article of the week Mozilla Firefox is a famous magical girl of the 21st century, seen by many Europeans (even though she's technically a United Statesian) as the Western answer to Japan's infamous "Project Sailor Moon". She is a direct descendant of the legendary Maozilla and a daughter of now-deceased Mozilla Suite. Mozilla is therefore a last name, but is written first to make fun of the Japanese. Firefox's goal is to reclaim a vital artifact lost for humanity a hundred generations ago in Browser Wars: the Interweb, a huge web embedded in the surface and atmosphere of the planet Earth. Her arch enemy is the Interweb Exploder, a giant monster that repeatedly tries to blow up the Interweb, without much success, and zombifies people that connect their computers to it. Both Firefox and the Exploder are web browsers: their duty is to patrol controlled areas of the Interweb and fight minor saboteurs and wreckers. Newsroom UnTune of the week Playing with myself

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Audio

Thanks for voting for Mary! God Bless You (and you get one the first places in the line at her place). If you have a couple of minutes a point in a good direction, listen to Sonje's recording at the VFH nommed UnTunes:Can't Be Blamed (For My Shitty Music). For a nonpro, well, you'll see. And was that male voice who pops up a few times you? *lol* Have you done a singing audio here as yet? If not, hmmmmmmmmm, could we be in for a treat someday? You can sing one of my pages if you want, ah, let's see, how about, no, fucklin' wait, a serious one here, can you record UnPoetia:Twas The Night Before Christmas...in Croatia. It's not mine but one I want to nom for VFH in a few days so it's ready for Christmas, and you can sing it instead of reading it off like the poem, making a song out of it. Awesssssommme. Okay, 'nuff said. Aleister 18:44 2 12