User:Funnybony/John Belushi stuff

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
John Belushi was to parties what Katrina was to New Orleans
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Funnybony/John Belushi stuff.

John Belushi (January 24, 1949 – March 5, 1982) was an Albanian American Blues singer, a member of the original Blues Brothers, and a fellow Mission of God Activist. Besides singing the blues, Belushi was also a Japanese Samurai delicatessen slicer, a college Animal House 'zit', a Toga Party campaigner, a National Guard fighter pilot, a stand-in Captain for the Starship Enterprise, a bit part actor of little consequence on the original cast of "Saturday Night Live", and finally, a dead-as-a-doornail speed-ball junkie jockey who was thrown from his horse and died at the young-old age of thirty-three.

Belushi was born in Chicago, nineteen and forty nine; yeah, he was born in Chicago nineteen and forty nine; and his mama told him, "son you lookin' mighty-fine". Well his first friend went down when he was only twenty-one; yeah, his first friend went down when he was only twenty-one, and his father told him, "son, you had better get a gun!" From that point on Belushi always said, "things just don't seem the same, babe, yeah things just don't seem the same!" And he began playing harmonica - after a fashion - although not in the tradition of Paul Butterfield or Stevie Wonder.

He had a younger brother named James who was much more organized and clever than John. Jim was able to converse with animals, dogs in particular, as well as being both an expert thief and a decorated police detective - which is a fairly normal combination. And, most importantly, Jim never rode a horse to his doom. But, in spite of James' longevity, his late elder brother, John, is still better remembered - as much for his portrayal of himself as the characters he acted-out. RIP.

Early life[edit | edit source]

When John was a child he used to pretend to be a fighter pilot.

John Belushi was the son of Agnes and Adam Belushi, Albino immigrants who fled Albino and moved to America in 1934. Yeah, they moved to America, in 19 and 34, and his mama told him, 'we is looking mighty poor!' Once settled in the United States Adam promptly invented Girl Scout Cookies, but having failed to patient his new new idea, he was sued by the Girl Scouts for Trademark violation. Losing the legal case and having no money Adam traded his eldest and most unruly son, John, to the Scouts committee in restitution. But John was unrivaled as a 'lil devil' and he was soon abandoned.

Wandering the mean streets at a tender age John grew up in the Blues town of Chicago along with with a younger brother James Belushi who ran away from home to join him. When John was a child he was always able to trick his younger brother into eating his vegetable when ever they were found in garbage cans. John picked up a drug habit at the age of 9 which he never mentioned to anyone. His was hardly a typical childhood, unless you dare to call John Belushi "typical."

Career[edit | edit source]

1975–1979[edit | edit source]

Belushi left Saturday Night Live in 1979 to pursue a film career. Belushi would make four more movies; three of them, 1941, Neighbors, and most notably The Blues Brothers were made with fellow SNL alumnus Dan Aykroyd.

Other movie projects[edit | edit source]

Dan Aykroyd wrote the roles of Dr. Venkman in Ghostbusters and Emmett Fitz-Hume in Spies Like Us with Belushi in mind, and the roles were actually played by Belushi's former SNL castmates Bill Murray and Chevy Chase, respectively.

Death[edit | edit source]

On March 5, 1982, Belushi was found dead-as-a-doornail in his room at Bungalow number 3, or maybe it was 4, anyway it was in a room of the Chateau Marmont Hotel on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, the entertainment capitol of America. The cause of death was a Speedball-martini, incorrectly stirred not shaken, a combined injection directly into his third eye of cocaine, STP, Demerol, Paint Thinner, Nitro-glycerin, liquid C4 and heroin.

On the night of his death, he was visited separately by friends Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy, Pee Wee Herman, Mick Jagger, Cary Fisher, Jane Fonda, Jerry Lewis, Capt Beefheart, and Robert De Niro, each of whom left the premises, leaving Belushi dead in the company of assorted others, including some girls as well as loan sharks and Russian mobsters. His death was investigated by forensic pathologist Dr. Ryan Norris and the famous firefighter Red Adair among others, and while the findings were disputed between suicide or murder or both, it was officially ruled a tragic accident.

Filmography[edit | edit source]

  • Animal House (1978)
  • The Rutles: All You Need Is Cash (1978)
  • Goin' South (1978)
  • Old Boyfriends (1979)
  • 1941 (1979)
  • The Blues Brothers (1980)
  • Continental Divide (1981)
  • Neighbors (1981)

SNL characters and impersonations[edit | edit source]

Recurring characters

  • Samurai Futaba
  • Captain Ned, one of Miles Cowperthwaite's cronies
  • Jacob Papageorge alias 'Joliet' Jake Blues, from the Blues Brothers
  • Jeff Widette, from the Widettes
  • Kevin (from The Mall sketches)
  • Kuldorth (from The Coneheads)
  • Larry Farber
  • Lowell Brock, from the H&L Brock commercials
  • Matt Cooper, from the Land Shark sketches
  • Pete, from the Olympia Cafe
  • Steve Beshekas (who was in real life a good friend of Belushi's since community college)
  • Frank Leary, one of St. Mickey's Knights of Columbus

Celebrity impersonations

References[edit | edit source]

External links[edit | edit source]

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:Funnybony/John_Belushi_stuff&oldid=6004641"