User talk:Fredd The Mahmauscher/archive 2

archive and rape

you're welcome and rape. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:36, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

ouch, my butthole hurts 17:39, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

archive template

I put the archive template on User talk:Mahm00shA/archive1. --Docile hippopotamus 07:16, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

thanks, doc! 07:58, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Glitches NO

Would you care for something from the honor bar? I'll pay ;) The Crazy Bitch, HouseMDfan 23:28, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

Oo, certainly! But let me pay, I'm very rich, you know ;) 03:54, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Rich in bacon? I wish I was rich enough to have a neat profile. The Crazy Bitch, HouseMDfan 22:27, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

mind if i help you with your profile layout? 05:37, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

Not at all! ^_^ And about that UnSignPost thing, is my name seriously in that thing? =O The Crazy Bitch, HouseMDfan 05:43, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

I'll be happy to help. And about USP, no, your name isnt really there, they are using the {{USERNAME}} thing that never gets old =D i wish my your name was really there, tho 05:51, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

My ego, it has deflated a little. D= So what's first with the profile? =D The Crazy Bitch, HouseMDfan 08:07, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

A pink background and some girly userboxes, I think. Take a look at this, it is a good example 08:12, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

Ohhh you had me going there. Cause I don't do pink =P Hmmm...well, I dunno the first thing about coding it to make it look like that. D: ~ HouseMDfan 04:54, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

just tell me how you'd like your page, and let me do the codes.. Or steal them from other pages, to be percise. 10:06, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

I'd like to just have it look normal with a table of contents to my userboxes and my talk page. ~ HouseMDfan 01:50, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

April 30th, 2009 • Issue 45 • The periodical that - Jesus Christ it's a lion get in the car!

UnSignpost Editors Too Busy Working on Anniversary UnSignpost to Bother with This Week's Issue By Gerrycheevers Since next week marks the incredible one-year anniversary of the storied UnSignpost, the editors are focusing all of their efforts on that issue and thus leaving this issue out in the cold. Rest assured that next week's 46th issue, marking the 46 weeks in the year on the Uncyclopedia calendar, will be "a bumper special issue" according to co-chief-editor Under user. The promise of a special bonus issue brings to mind several of the UnSignpost's more notable issues, such as the All-Kitten Issue and the Seventeenth Issue Spectacular. Reactions to the milestone were mixed in the community. "I feel the signpost has in many ways brought a little too much cabal propaganda to the site for my liking," said noted good-looking tree Sycamore. Were there a cabal, cabal authorities would currently be on the way to Sycamore's house to arrest him. Lucky for him there is no cabal. By the way, if you really thought this was the first anniversary issue, you suck.

Check out these pages! To pee or not to pee? Some more links. Are you still here? From our logs: Take your pick Biopic of the Week <insert name here> is certainly noteworthy. Old School Featured Article of the Week Nihilism. Word of the Week Brevity.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:10, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Papyrus article

Have you finished it? --Docile hippopotamus 08:01, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

nearly.. I just need some images. 08:06, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

Can I add a section, something like "People rumoured to be in possession of The Papyrus"? --Docile hippopotamus 08:20, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

you mean after it was stolen? If so, yes but try to stay in tone of the rest of the article, and dont go over the top 08:25, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

I've added it. What do you think? --Docile hippopotamus 08:47, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

I couldnt have done better myself :) 08:51, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

do we nominate it for VFH when it gets the pictures? --Docile hippopotamus 09:02, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

yes, but get a good pee first 09:07, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

Danke schön!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recent Writer of the Month campaign

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Sir Guildensternenstein

---

I'm a whore

vote for me please--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 23:29, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

The Papyrus

I notice there are no references to you in it. Did you take them out? --Docile hippopotamus 09:01, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

ya, Gerry said so. Take a look at the Papyrus talk page 10:03, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Ok. For the record you can have your name in their if you want, I've read good articles with authors names in them. --Docile hippopotamus 11:13, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

I may do that later, after the article gets off VFH. ...On an unrelated sidenote, where are you from? 11:25, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Australia. On another unrelated sidenote, have you seen Nile live? --Docile hippopotamus 11:57, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

they never came to Egypt, no band does anyway. But ive seen some of their live performances on youtube, if that is what you mean 12:07, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Reviewed Grapes of Wrath

Review here if you want to read it.

Saberwolf116 13:55, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

thanks buddy for your effort. Will do the rewrite, sooner or later. 14:00, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

:(

Your vote for Dragon Warrior has put it 1 ahead of me.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 21:13, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

I have voted. Your currently second place now CheddarBBQ. --Docile hippopotamus 02:57, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Holy shit, really? Thank u. although, i'm technically only 2nd if karl and dragon stay tied.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 03:53, 3 May 2009 (UTC)--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 03:51, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

no offence, cheddy, but dragon warrior literaly made me laugh my ass to oblivion, and i will vote for it best of 2009, or even the best of uncyclopedia. 03:56, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Wow. Maybe I should read it. And no offense. I don't wanna be a tyrant.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 14:40, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

it has to be said

--Docile hippopotamus 04:49, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

thanks, moyt ;) 04:51, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

why

Did you name yourself Mahm00shA? just wondering. --Docile hippopotamus 05:12, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

fine.. Basicly, mahmoosha is a nonsensial name. My real name is Ma7ammad, the Egyptian Arabic variant of Mu7ammad. <the 7 stands for the Arabic letter ح‎> Anyway, my mother used to call me mahmoosha when I was a kid; she is good at making up names for kids.. When I got to registering to uncyc, I asked her Hey mum, what was that stupid name you used to call me back in my childhood days? She replied Which one? Papapatamooza? Fgt'kant? Oozalampa? Oompa loompa? Mahmoosha? Atez-- I interupted her, saying yea, yea, Mahmoosha. Thanks.. Now go make me some french fries. And voila! I got my username. Then I capitalized the M and the A to resemble the MetallicA logo, and changed the os to 0s. And here I am... Your turn now, doc. 05:31, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

I was at home and needed to come up with a username because I was entering Forum:You've always wanted to be able to openly fight for my affection. Now you can. the night it closed, December 11. I was thinking about what I could name myself. I thought of an animal, hippopotamus, but I needed something before that, so I thought Placid hippopotamus and then thought Docile hippopotamus. I liked the name and entered in at User:Multiliteralist/SysRq and the revenge of the mutant zombie androids because I didn't know how to put my entry in my userspace, and the forum had archived by the time I was entering. --Docile hippopotamus 06:01, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

I named myself HouseMDfan because I'm a fan of HouseMD and it's the name I use everywhere. (I want to be popular! ;_; ) ~ HouseMDfan 06:06, 3 May 2009

just stay active, and you will be popular. Also, since you are a female and most regulars here are fat male nerds, with a bit of whoring and stuff like that your popularity will skyrocket. Trust me 06:13, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Well in my case, my family is Catholic and crabs are unusual, so I went with CrabPope --CrabPope 10:15, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

man, how about starting a forum for that? Forum:Why did you choose that username? what do y'all say? 10:23, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

after The Papyrus...

Any idea what you are going to work on once The Papyrus article is done? --Docile hippopotamus 07:27, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

my finals at college 08:34, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

So...

Are you a girl? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:35, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

fuck you, cant you read? You can? Then read my user page. 08:48, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Sorry. I was just confused by your South Park image... Please forgive me. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:51, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

itr rambo, buddy. Rambo has long hair. 08:53, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I see what you mean, but the pink on the cheeks got me mixed up. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:03, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

What can one say? Rambo is gay, thats it... :) 09:21, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

True. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:43, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

there, I replaced it by a more accurate one. 09:50, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

You can keep both if you want. Leddy has one of him regular and another one where he's dead, so I'd guess it wouldn't be a problem. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:56, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Papyrus article on VFH

Worth asking the other Mahm00shits to check it out? --Docile hippopotamus 11:00, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

of course! And check out my new sig!! Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:02 4 May '09

great sig my Egyptian friend. --Docile hippopotamus 11:04, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

want me to ask the Mahm00shits or you? --Docile hippopotamus 11:04, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

ya, moyt. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:08, 4 May '09

ok. I'll do it tomorrow. Must study now. --Docile hippopotamus 11:09, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

what does moyt mean? --Docile hippopotamus 11:09, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

isnt it how you Australians pronounce mate? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:10, 4 May '09

مترجم جوجل مثل أسوأ شيء في الوجود. اللعنة! أنا المماطلة. أوه نعم ، وهذه هي الكيفية التي الاستراليين يقول رفيقة --CrabPope 19:44, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

at least it makes some sense. And I see you used the russian one for your user page Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 02:26, 5 May '09

What the fuck?

Another sig change? What is that, 6? I've had 1 sig my whole time on Uncyclopedia. The only changes i MADE were the font, the tiny pic, and the links.--Cheddar (this is not my sig, bitch)

On Sig 3

How did you get the image to shrink in the sig? I can't seem to do that.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 00:38, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

socky did it for me Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 02:27, 5 May '09

Wow. I went to Scoky about 10 mins ago and left him a message asking if he knew how to do it. I guess he does.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:36, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

How did you get the time to look the way it does?

take a look at user talk:HouseMDfan I found it there Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 02:50, 5 May '09

Voat hoaring.. Sorta.. Sorta

Whatever it was - this article - it's gone. If you can get it back I'll take a look. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 07:26, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

its on VFH now. Take a look at it and voat Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 07:37, 5 May '09

As it stands now it would be an against vote, but if you kill the formatting you may have something to work with. Do you mind if I play around with it, refine it, or at least help you to do so? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 08:17, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

Id be very happy if you play around with it, and if it is featured, you might recieve some IRL cash :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:13, 6 May '09

Yet another useless award

Rabbi Techno awards you this lovely Mechanical Thing because you voted for something I wrote to be featured. Cheers!

hey

"grow the fuck up, boy. Leetspeak ceased to be cool back in like 1999. Unless you are an 11 years old blob, in which case I cant blame you, really" Really? Are you that much of a douchebag to think that your elitist and conceited attitude towards communication makes you older and superior to me? You are 18. You can't even legally drink yet. STFU. I don't want to have to argue on the fucking internet over something as stupid as this, because arguing on the internet is like having down syndrome, not matter how your day (of arguing or having Downs) ends, in the end you are still retarded. Please grow up, and respect other people and how they communicate.( unless it is just overly profane, then it is just fucking dumb) --REEFER 15:54, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

excuse me, were you saying something? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 15:58, 5 May '09

elitist? Me? Ha Ha! Ok ok, anyway, sorry for my harsh language, old one. Really, no hard feelings, sorry again.. Although I still believe you are younger than me. Again, sorry :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 16:05, 5 May '09

Believe what you want Mahm00shA.--REEFER 16:31, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

I already do, REEFER :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 16:35, 5 May '09

Of course you would.--REEFER 16:37, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

[www.encyclopediadramatica.com/wiki/Offended sure] :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 16:43, 5 May '09

Cut it out you two, or I'll shove my banhammer where the sun doesn't shine. Let's just summarize that I am the old git, OK? ~ 17:06, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Sir. Yes, sir. 750 push-ups, sir? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 17:13, 5 May '09

I'll put a fiver on me being older than all of you. Damn kids. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:08, 5 May

Older than me? You lose. Give me that fiver. ~ 17:12, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

You made a bet for a fiver with a Jew? Bad, bad move. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:15, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

hi, Metallica! Im Bart, Im a hundred years old and I drive the School bus. Therefor, Bart wins the fiver :þ Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 17:23, 5 May '09

cut it out you two, or I will... I will... I will what? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 17:13, 5 May '09

Haha Americans can't drink till they're 21! And yet they can buy assault rifles when they're 18 ... --CrabPope 19:06, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

You're Welcome

Your article ahs been whored to everyone that voted for Jenny, plus a couple others. YAY WHORING!!! Whore cHeDDaR 19:19,6May,2009

Hey

It's that time again! YAY WHORING!!!-- Whore cHeDDaR 01:07,7May,2009

Also, if you can find someone I haven't whore to yet, please do so, though I doubt thee will be anyone without a whore message from me YAY WHORING!!!-- Whore cHeDDaR 01:19,7May,2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

May 5th, 2009 • First Anniversary Issue! • Disdaining news in favour of blatant self-promotion

Self-Proclaimed Greatest Newspaper on the Wiki Reaches First Birthday By UU Can you believe it? We can't - particularly as we're only on issue number 46 - and yet it's true, the greatest piece of talkpage spam in the history of this shabby little wiki (and the most modest too) celebrates its first anniversary! Birthed in a blaze of optimism and creativity by fiendish evil genius Dr. Skullthumper and mythical user-in-exile Cajek at the start of May 2008, the UnSignpost was intended to shine a light into the dark corners of the wiki, keeping users up-to-date with anything worth keeping up-to-date with. In this special article, we examine what went wrong, where that glorious vision got corrupted, and how it has ended up in its current state. The early issues were churned out at a great rate by the founding editors, and Cajek was so enthused by the project that he suggested to Skullthumper that they should move to a twice-weekly release - fortunately, this suggestion was shot down in flames by the doc, or the paper may never have celebrated a second month, let alone a full year! Skullthumper was first to leave the Signpost behind for pastures new, perhaps feeling his work was already done. Looking back nostalgically now at those heady early days, Skull exclusively observed: "Well! Working on the UnSignpost in the beginning was a really fun experience, not gonna lie. Cajek and I were both super excited about it. I'm glad it existed through to today, entirely by the help of other people. The setup was seriously the most fun part. We had NO clue what we were doing, we were experimenting with formatting, content, and a bot that only worked half the time. To summarize: It kicked ass. I had no idea it was about a year ago that it started." With only Cajek powering it, the Signpost forged onwards, but was beginning to run into troubled waters - even Cajek's legendary enthusiasm was beginning to founder, and when he began to struggle for time, he asked DJ Irreverent to take the helm. We asked Cajek for a nostalgic comment about the Signpost, but he was unavailable, so instead here's a random line from one of his articles: "Also, don't be surprised if you go to jail for what society deems "gross", "horrible", and "Satanic": it's all part of being an ant keeper... and an ant "watcher"". The DJ managed to steady the ship (how long can we sustain this metaphor?), but struggled to handle the torch he'd been passed by his adopter (looks like we didn't sustain it very long - never mind!). Asked to comment on this turbulent period, the DJ exclusively remarked: "I dropped said torch like a ton of bricks as a good child should always do. I could not take on the family business, I needed to dance. Anyway, I wrote about 2 articles". So the pattern of users taking over the paper, only to burn out and abandon it again was becoming well established. Next in the editor's chair was UU, who lasted about 6 issues, before becoming so overwhelmed by the pressures of the paper that he went and got married in order to have a good excuse to get away from it for a few weeks. Recalling those halcyon days, UU told us exclusively: "I love the Signpost, and have had a great time working on it. It does get in the way of writing real articles though, as some users might testify, and it can be a pain to come up with stories each week - hopefully this issue might spark a few people to put some more ideas in the press room". Fortunately, UU had taken the foresighted step of questioning the staying power of one Gerrycheevers in a previous issue's "comeback of the week" box, and Gerry was so determined to prove he had what it took, that he took over the paper while UU swanned off around the world. Cheevers's time at the helm brought such classic issues as the all-kitten issue, and his exclusive dewy-eyed remembrances run thusly: "I'm proud for having successfully stolen this periodical from Cajek and Skull, and I look forward to many more years of turning forums into news stories, dredging up old features that nobody cares about, and of course making tedious Cajek ban jokes. I also demand a raise and Cajek's office!" Unfortunately, Cheevers's staying power lived up to UU's expectations, and Gerry took another small break. UU returned to the paper, and frantically enlisted contributions from the likes of Orian57 and Heerenveen to keep the wheels of news turning smoothly. Asked for comment on his input, Orian exclusively told us: "It's a been a great help in bonding together this community. And it's made things more interesting, what with everyone trying to do news worthy things just to get their names in the paper. Or something, I can't manufacture funny under pressure and this is pressure because you're gonna put this in the paper just to humiliate me now, aren't you?". Hv, meanwhile, exclusively commented: "It's amazing that our wonderful newspaper has lasted for so long, especially when you figure the us editors have had nothing to work with but "OMGZ THIS WIKI IZ D00MED" stories since about Issue IV. It's a great tribute to the us editors' ability to make Cajek-filled fluff pieces up on the fly. Maybe they we should try for the Daily Mail?". Gerrycheevers has been fully back on board since early this year, UU is still hanging around in between banning people and huffing stuff, and with other contributors still pitching in, plus a plentiful supply of Cajek bans to use as padding (see next story), it looks like the immediate future of the paper is in good competent human some kind of hands. Want to join the list of over 25 people who have contributed to the paper since its inception? Or want to join the ranks of hand-deliverers and paperbots that have been burned out along the way, and now line the wiki as lifeless husks? Give us a shout in the press room, and become part of the Uncyc furniture! Wish we'd gotten a quote from Cajek though. Bastard. Cajek 100 Ban Extravaganza By Gerrycheevers During the very same week that Uncyclopedia's most well-known journalism source (suck it, UnNews!) celebrates its first birthday with much cake and punch, one of its co-founders achieved his own personal milestone by being banned for the one hundredth time. Rumors of making Cajek an admin when he reached the milestone have thus far not proven to be true, although he may have magically gained sysop powers upon entering triple-digit territory and we just won't know it until he comes back from wherever he's hiding in a hailstorm of admin-related activity (whatever it is that they do). The milestone was reached largely thanks to users such as Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, who took to the streets in a grassroots effort to raise awareness, and Gerrycheevers, who went directly to certain sysops with demonstrably active bansticks pleading for a "Cajek-whooping." The landmark 100th ban was achieved yesterday, with the good Dr. Skullthumper blocking Cajek with an expiry time of "a milestone". The UnSignpost would like to congratulate Cajek, and also plead for his return. Cajek was unavailable for comment, and this reporter was once again chased off of the grounds of the Cajek Mansion, this time by the abstract philosophical concept of existentialism. From the desk of the Cabal Special By No-one The cabal is most displeased with this apparent so called "newspaper" or "voice of the people". What news could there be other than "maintain the peace and obey the cabal, should it exist"? What voice should the people have other than "Yes sir", "No sir" and "Of course, I'll send my sister post haste to your bedroom, Sir"? This useless rag might let people think that the Uncyclopedians have a modicum of freedom. We the cabal, do not exist. But if we did, we'd be most unpleased and just about prepared to clamp down on this operation. Obey the cabal, the cabal is your imaginary friend.

Check out these pages! 3,422 and going strong! No winner yet declared in 'not pointless' forum A blast from the past Best of From our logs: 09:23, 30 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a gay admin ‎ (you like rahb. rahb = penis. therefore you like penis. therefore you = ghey. this logic is irrefutable. also, morning mordillo.) 11:00, 15 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Slicktorine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbullying: We just don't care about you or your friends. Sorry. I suggest you ask him for a date. He's probably a really nice guy.) 02:46, 8 February 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 97.83.236.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fer the love of Christ, you make me think I actually have a life. You've been doing the same God damn thing since the summer. Just fuck off already.) 08:25, 13 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Tardman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (I love being a cunt, it makes my hair glow) Codeine (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wild sweaty orgies" (If anyone's gonna write an article about these it'll be me. I've done the research.) 02:14, 10 December 2008 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.142.37.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hi. Welcome to Uncyc. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here. We did too.) 04:57, 23 October 2008 Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs) blocked TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Intimidating behaviour/harassment: & Not The Good Sexual Kind of Harassment Either) 04:20, 22 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.15.244.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You, sir, have gone above and beyond the call of failure. Now that may sound like a compliment, but read it again, paying special attention to that last word. Yeah.) 7:41, 20 September 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Just got back. Haven't banned Cajek in a month. Gotta get my fix. CLICK. Aaaaaah yeeeeeahhh. That's gooood shit.) 19:36, 21 September 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Reggie4 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You have 2 cows. Both of them are banned.) 21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.) 23:56, 20 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Swampgas (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (congratulations, now you can add us to your list of sites you got banned from for being a bellend) 07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.) 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) Biopic of the Week 1 year old this week, the UnSignpost is the wiki-based newspaper vain enough to give itself a biopic! It has yet to write any featured articles, and hasn't even created a single featured image, but it's appeared on almost as many talk pages as a Modus one-liner, and is certainly the longest-lived newspaper on this wiki. Vive l'UnSignpost! Thankies of the Week The staff of the UnSignpost would like to thank all our readers for pretending to care long enough for us to reach this milestone. We couldn't have done it without you. (Well, we could, but there wouldn't have been much point). Retraction of the Week In last week's edition of the UnSignpost, the current swine flu pandemic was hailed as a blessing, and our editors expressed hope that the world population would be reduced, making references to particular groups of people as 'expendable'. We would like to express our deepest apologies for referring to this epidemic as 'swine flu', and we will henceforth refer to it by the disease's proper name: H1N1 influenza. We are truly sorry to any pigs or other members of the swine family who may have taken offense. Old School Featured Article of the Week Water Polo... With Sharks! is possibly the most difficult, dangerous, and exciting sport known to man. With only slight rules variations from normal water polo, such as the amount of hands you can have on the ball and there being sharks in the water, Water Polo... With Sharks! is the world's second fastest-growing sport, behind Texas Hold 'Em... With Rabid Wolverines! Pathetic Plea of the Week What has happened to all of the robots? The UnSignpost has gone through a seemingly endless supply of robots, and several unsuspecting and apparently bored users have also hand-delivered the paper when no automated bots were available. Lately, Sock and Dexter have joined forces to ensure prompt Signpost delivery, but surely the task of pasting the paper onto thousands hundreds dozens of talk pages will result in arm fatigue and dog attacks. Therefore, a plea: everyone create more robots! Old School 'Of the Week' Box of the Week This Week in Uncyclopedia, featured in issues 3 through three, took a look back at some of the greatest highs and crushing lows in the history of this silly wiki. Look for this box to make a triumphant return to the UnSignpost, along with other old favorites such as UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week and Reason For Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

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Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:12, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

BFF again!

I've nommed you on BFF again :D User:Zheliel/sigz2 07:42, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

how about me nomming you this time? :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 08:13, 9 May '09

pee

Worth putting bob the sperm and the papyrus article on the pee review? --Docile hippopotamus 00:52, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

sure, moyt :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 00:53, 10 May '09

Fishing...

Hi, are you a co-writing type? If you like my nonsense you might like to co something. I have a number of ideas and half-finished articles. -- Style  Guide 10:38, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

yeh, why not? It'll be fun :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:39, 10 May '09

OK, can you meet me in chat about 2-3 hours from now? The stuff gets kickstarted there pretty easily I've found. If not then another day. -- Style  Guide 14:56, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

In the begining there were no problems. And God saw it was good. But lo! Mahm00shA is on his cell phone browser. And he can not IRC. And God saw it was not good. Verily, he shalt not be available for the day, for he is buried in deep college-related shit. And thou shalt wait for the morrow. And there was darkness. And God couldnt see shit. And he said let there be light! Verily, the power was out. And still he couldnt see shit. Amen. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 15:12, 10 May '09

You speak english incredibly well for a non-native speaker, wait a minute - You're not really Egyptian at all, you fake! --CrabPope 17:15, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

of course I aint, cant you see Im actually an undercover fbi agent trying to trick you into telling me where do you keep your child porn collection. :)

You can plainly see he's a warewolf - a teenage wearwolf! OK, tomorrowish suits me fein. -- Style  Guide 17:28, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

by college-related shit I meant EXAMS. Finals throughout the whole month actually. And he saw it wasnt good. Ill try to be available tomorrow, though. Oh and just FYI, I failed ALL my midterms, midyears and practicals.. So most likely I'll be studying just to pass the fucking year Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:50, 10 May '09

Whore

Do I have to explain adoson? I don't think I do. Not get your mother-tossin ass over there and vote.-- Whore cHeDDaR 19:23,10May,2009

huh? Where? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:10, 10 May '09

At VFH. My article. Ya gotta know which one it is.-- Whore cHeDDaR 21:40,10May,2009

What Happened?

To us making a collaboration? Like we said we would like the week we "met?" The HowTo or whatever? We could make a HowTo:Get Down On Your Knees and Suck Cheddar's... or something like that. Whore cHeDDaR 21:45,11May,2009

By the way, I took your whoring advice. I whored to fewer people, and all whoring was unique. YA--- Actually, I think I'll let you say it this time adoson. Whore cHeDDaR 21:57,11May,2009

Ya know what sucks?

My User Failed Template is becoming very popular now, but I'm no longer able to proudly display it. I guess there's a negative side to being featured. Whore cHeDDaR 18:17,12May,2009

Time To Go

Ok, everybody, it's time for me to leave for a while, got some finals to study for and hundreds of pages that I'll be studying for the first time... So, goodbye everybody, I'll miss you. Goodbye Cheddy. Goodbye <insert name here>. A VERY BIG GOODBYE AND THANK YOU TO SOCKY. Happy birthday, Tags. Sorry, whomever I've ever pissed. Fuck you, moardildo :) I'll miss you all, guys. (even moardildo.. I've never though I'd be missing the Jew, but I do now.. *sniff*) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 04:19, 13 May '09

Aw... For reals this time? Who am I gonna go to when a need a shoulder to whore on? Whore cHeDDaR 17:17,13May,2009

im afraid yes, for real this time. The day of reckoning is night. And m00sh shalt be assfucked. And thou shalt weep for him, for he shalt be assfucked. Verily, he shalt be assfucked. Lo! He is being assfucked. And the LORD saw it was no good. And the LORD ascended on his throne and said let not m00sh be assfucked. And so it was. And m00sh was not assfucked. And thou shalt weep not for him. For he is not assfucked. (assfuckisis, 42:13) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 17:33, 13 May '09

Ow, my ass. So, you'll be back July 1st? That's like 1.5 months. I think. Yeah. That means that for 1.5 months, I'l have 1 less guaranteed  For. on my noms. I'll have to go back to whoring for money votes! NOOOO!!! yay Whore cHeDDaR 19:12,13May,2009

Oh and am I Cheddy AND CheddarBBQ? Does this means I get 2 goodbyes? Why don't a get a very big goodbye? Whore cHeDDaR 19:13,13May,2009

Something to Look Forward to

I'm planning on nomming you for UotM next month, 'cause I think you've done a bang-up job of getting the hang of things in a short amount of time as well as helping out other people as well as being nice about it too (except to the REEFER guy, but really, I don't blame you at all). The only reason I'm not nomming you now is that Socky has it pretty much wrapped down tight. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 03:43, May 14

YAAAAY thank you my friend, thank you very very much. Thank you. Also, thanks. Also also, muchos gracias. Also also also, danke schön. Also also also also, merci. Also also also also also, شكرا :) :) :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:55, 14 May '09

Tweet

Mr McElroy says thanks! his blog is teh funnies! 11:44pm May 14th from web tanks for teh voats! 11:45pm May 14th from web

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 09:41 14 May 2009

HowTo:Become A King

I read it. Putting it on pee review? --Docile hippopotamus 09:09, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

i dunno, its still rough and raw, and i dont have time for it, my finals begin after four days. Perhaps you could add some pictures, spellcheck the article and put it on pee if you want.. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:45, May, 15 '9

If you put it on pee review I can pee on it this weekend. Good luck with the finals. --Docile hippopotamus 10:19, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

What he said. Don Puttano cHeDDs 11:08,15May,2009

You graduated

• sniff* Looks like my little adoson is all grown up. Don Puttano cHeDDs 19:34,15May,2009

*sniff* I love you, adopapa! *sniff* and maybe you should consider adding your name to the big list of adopters, you are quite experienced now. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 05:26, May, 16 '09

I don't know. While I am now an experienced adopter, I still have had very little success on Uncyc. I don't know how much help I can be to n00bs, but still, you have more written than me, plus a religious following and Bless. and Smite.. I must've done something right. Don Puttano cHeDDs 05:35,16May,2009

you have a FEATURE! Thats more than enough. Now go add your name, make Italy proud! Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 06:10, May, 16 '09

Change Don't Assume Any Faith to Assume Mahm00shite Faith? --Docile hippopotamus 05:52, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

Done, moit :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 06:10, May, 16 '09

UnSignpost May 14th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

May 14th, 2009 • Issue 47 • And you will know our name is the UnSignpost when we lay our news upon you!

Wales Speaks Exclusively to UnSignpost! by UU It's the big one folks, the interview they all wanted, but we got: shy, retiring Wikimedia mogul Jimbo Wales has spoken exclusively to your UnSignpost. Wales (pictured right in happier times) took time out from his busy schedule of inserting further Liberal bias into Wikipedia to share with us his thoughts on the credit crunch, the Obama administration, the Pope's visit to the Middle East, and the future of Uncyclopedia, and the insight is literally devastating in its incisiveness. When pressed on these vital issues, Jimbo confided to us: "You kids get offa my pipe! Now, where's my lawn?" These are words that every user will interpret in their own special way - Jimbo, like all great orators, has the ability to make profound pronouncements that each and every listener will put their own unique spin on, so that it seems he is talking to them alone. Whatever pearl of wisdom you find in this oracular utterance, we are sure it is exactly what you were intended to find. Crowning Acheevement by UU UnSignpost co-editor, Imperial Colonization lynchpin and all-round star user Gerrycheevers has made Uncyclopedian history by becoming the first user ever to win all of the major monthly awards on the wiki: WotM, UotM, NotM, FPotM, and PotM. Plus RotM, although that's not really considered "major". This astonishing fact was pointed out by RAHB, proving quite conclusively that he must have no life whatsoever. When asked for comment, Gerry exclusively told us: "Well, I don't know what to say, really. I suppose my well-roundedness speaks volumes about my excessive amount of free time. My next objective will be to obtain a microphone and continue my quixotic quest to collect all of the awards". Rules < Funny: The Essay by UU Loveable Uncyc pyromaniac The Woodburninator, long known for his views on how "rules" and "funny" should relate to each other, has, in an alcohol-induced "moment of clarity", composed an essay on the subject. He encourages you to read it, and exclusively told us he questions the sexuality of everyone who doesn't. As a completely neutral wiki newspaper, the UnSignpost of course neither endorses nor doesn't endorse any of the views contained within the essay. It just agrees with some of them. Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it? by Joe9320 It has been about a year and a half since Uncyclopedia's once shining usergroup network stopped operating and became extinct. As ever in such circumstances, conspiracy theories have quickly sprung up to explain how this could have happened. Some say that when Chronarion left Uncyclopedia to focus on another project, he left it to the Wikia staff to do all the patrolling, which caused Uncyclopedia's domain name to be changed in October 2008, and the user groups were left to rot with no activity, like the Hittites did when they destroyed their own city and left. Others say that UNSOC killed off every other usergroup, from the Grue Army to UNATO, and had a monopoly on the usergroups. Whether the theories are true or not, the usergroups appear to have all but died. In January 2009, archaeologists from the Philippines dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader Necropaxx was heard to observe "UNSOC has about 3 or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers". The non-existent Cabal have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously.

Check out these pages! Rewriters, assemble! Confessions of a parody parodist Who needs publicity? From our logs: 18:42, 27 April 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I AM GOD (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Zeus called. He wants his title back. Something about missing having an excuse for incest.) 21:58, 13 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.47.141.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(seek the definition of life in the dictionary. Hint: it does not include so called venegance against humor wikis. Also, seek the definition of vengance. Creating wiki pages does not constitue as such.) 12:49, 14 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.41.56.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank pages, it's proof you have even less of a life than we do.) Biopic of the Week Colin "All your base" Heaney may possibly have the most annoying username to have to copy and paste into a Signpost biopic in all of Uncyclopedia. A mainstay in such helpful roles as VFD, Colin's accomplishments include contributions to the famed Al Gore colonization, having explosions in his sig that look rather cool when he signs a bunch of times in a row, and setting the record for most electrons used in a userpage and corresponding talk page. Go Colin! Cajek Sighting of the Week Co-founder of the UnSignpost Cajek was sighted this week in an alley behind his userpage, taking out the trash. He also updated his ban counter to a robust 117 and added electricity and magic to the iron fences surrounding the Cajek Mansion. Look for an exclusive fake interview with Cajek in next week's UnSignpost! Desperate Attention Seeker of the Week 00:55, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (The) 00:55, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (UnSignpost) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Had) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Better) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Run) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (This) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Series) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (of) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Bans) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Next) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Week) (There were more. We got bored copy/pasting them. Find the rest yourself)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:56, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

I took your advice.

I'm now officially part of the Ad0pt-A-N00b program. Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:50,17May,2009

Bless'd

Thou art bless'd by Ra for thou hath voted at the sacred temple for thy Zheliel. User:Zheliel/sigz2

>:D User:Zheliel/sigz2 09:50, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

Oi! My mate, Petie would just like to thank you! Why, only fuck knows, I’m just the messenger – don’t shoot me! Cos that’s the problem with you people, you’ve all got it out for us, just cos we don’t have jobs you think we’re like, or even are, the scum of the Earth! And we’re not, you know, we’re people too. Just because we don’t have your fancy foreign cars and, fuckin’, sued shoes or whatever. We’re only out of pocket because you’ve taken all the fuckin’ jobs first! If it bothers you so much why don’t you donate your job to Oxfam and we could pick it up for bargain prices? Eh? Bet you don’t like that idea though because then we’d be the ones looking down on you! you fucking, lazy, tax-stealing, jobless scum!

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:20 18 May 2009

Sorry, but...

...I changed a thing. Please don't do things like that, if you can help it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:37, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

not even das mahmauscher? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 00:30, May, 19 '09

Would you...

Would you like your sigs to alternate on the same page? If so, just add |1 in your sig code, like so {{User:Mahm00shA/sig4|1}}. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:58, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

thanks Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:10, May, 20 '09

moar thanks Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:10, May, 20 '09

even moar thanks Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:11, May, 20 '09

yet moar thanks Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:12, May, 20 '09

Hey, why isnt it working? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:13, May, 20 '09

You need to change it at your preferences. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:15, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

I did. Its {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Mahm00shA/sig4|1}} Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:19, May, 20 '09

Wait. Try removing the "SUBST:nosubst|" part. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:25, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

No wait. That'll just substitute it all. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:32, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

I may have the solution, but it involves making another sig page. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:32, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

do it then :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:39, May, 20 '09

I made the page. Now all you need to do is change your {{SUBST:Nosubst|... to {{SUBST:User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} and it should work. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:44, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks Mahm00shA 13:57, May, 20 '09

moar thanks Mahm00shA 13:58, May, 20 '09

Um, there's still something wrong. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:58, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Whats wrong?

You're flooding the page with code. Wait. You changed "sig4" to "sig5", right? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:00, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

no.. But i did it now Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:04, May, 20 '09

Okay. It looks perfect now. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:04, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

now, here is your big thanky, a hetero manhug, a bottle of 1599 whiskey and a ferrari :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:08, May, 20 '09

Test

Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:09, May, 20 '09

Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool

Testing is fun, isn't it. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:15, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

indeed :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:18, May, 20 '09

Test

Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:09, May, 20 '09

Test

Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:09, May, 20 '09

Thanks!

The doctor will see you now Oh, by the way, before we begin todays session, I'd like to thank you for supporting my recent featured article. Now, tell me about your childhood.--You know what the music means... Our time is up.

oh, nothing special really, just like everybody's childhood; mugged twice in dark alleys, molested by a 50 years old teacher at school, beaten to death by my father, laughed at by my mates, forced to eat mud by a bully, received a blowjob from a hot chick... You know, the typical childhood.. Now would you please check that rash on my wank shaft? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:22, May, 20 '09

UnSignpost quote

I'm writing an UnSignpost to do with Nile and I want a quote from you. The title is Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia! and I am writing that they have not invaded Uncyclopedia and it is a hoax. --Docile hippopotamus 09:39, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

nile the band or the river? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:41 May 21 '09

nile the band. --Docile hippopotamus 09:44, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

ok, how about this. It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:52 May 21 '09

Thats great. I will use it. Thankyou. --Docile hippopotamus 09:55, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 21st

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

May 21st, 2009 • Issue 48 • I've seen news you... people wouldn't believe

Glorious Cajek return story By Socky Something known as a "Cajek" apparently made some sort of return recently. According to eyewitnesses, he updated his ban counter, wrote a few articles, got some of his old articles deleted, did some nominating and voting stuff at VFH, and made several comments on user talk pages. This, seemingly, is about what he used to do, although few of our readers are old enough to remember his previous contributions to Uncyclopedia. Cajek exclusively told us the following: "Gotta go bye see ya". People disappearing, people reappearing, people with little time on their hands, bots unavailable By Socky & UU What happened to users like MrN9000, Dexter111344, GlobalTourniquet and DrStrange? Were they run over by a train? Did they suffer from a heart attack? Are they running from the law? Or are we just getting too worked up after a couple of weeks' absence? Whatever be the case, we here at the UnSignpost hope they are all right and will be returning to us in the near future. More recently, it has come to our notice that Gerrycheevers, Sonje and RabbiTechno have been missing for at least a couple of days. Perhaps there is a serial killer stalking and brutally murdering bright Uncyc talents? (Are we getting good at this whole "wild press speculation and fear-mongering" thing yet or what?) In the mean time, fortunately, several other users have made glorious returns to Uncyclopedia. As documented elsewhere, a Cajek is apparently back and doing stuff. MNM5150 has been doing some things around places, mostly the forums. Readmesoon has been spotted at VFH and a few talkpages. Yettie has been sporadically active. And Todd Lyons has been doing more stuff recently than he was doing less recently. A lot of users seem to be unable to contribute as their work/school requires them to spend their time on "useful" things. The more young adult users/little kids seem to be struggling with certain "finals", like Mahm00shA for instance. SysRq appears to be working on his graduation. Statistics show that Hyperbole's activity has been rather low, but recently increased dramatically. For how long this trend will continue is uncertain. UU has been here intermittently, but keeps proclaiming himself to be "busy". He commented "I don't have time. In fact, I may not even have time for banning and deleting today, things are going fucking nuts! [...] I have teetering mounds of work, and nowhere near enough time! Arrrrrgh! (I almost feel a second exclamation mark coming on, but nothing's that bad...)" He then proved himself to be a big fat liar by editing this story and various other bits of the UnSignpost. Additionally, while Wikipedia is being overrun by bots, they seem to have gone completely extinct on Uncyclopedia. This has led to our beloved Socky becoming partly mechanized in order to fill the role of paperbot. However, he is currently planning to get his bot operational so he won't have to tire his arse off every week. Porn! Porn! Pr0n! By Socky There has been somewhat of a controversy as of lately about the existence of supposed pornographic images on Uncyclopedia. Some support the view "Only if it's funny.", while others say "Meh." The controversy led Orian57 to put all his gay porn on QVFD. Optimuschris was quoted saying "I don't know what the fuss is all about, there's no porn on Uncyclopedia!" The discussion seems to have concluded in something like "If it's really bothering you and isn't funny in any way, delete it!" Mnbvcxz might also want to add that pictures showing prominent nudity could give rise to some legal issues, though he wasn't actually available for comment, so we can't really be sure. Usergroups! Usergroups! Usergroups! By Socky War is raging in usergroup land. IC, suffering major losses, has been grinded to a halt and was forced into defensive strategy, regressing to trench warfare. But UNSOC, with masses of new recruits, has declared an all out war against any potential competition. Meanwhile, a new powerful group has arisen, Der Unwehr, and they have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with. The Goa Tse Clan has gone into hiding and remains a mystery to most Uncyclopedians. "The End" is being foretold once more By Socky Since this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make it to the press, it was inevitable that there would be foretellings of "The End" and it being "near". On Forum:Count to a million, Orian57 was found stating "we could all die [...] then how stupid would we look?" A lot of users made somewhat eccentric speculations on how several issues were related to this "impending doom". Multiliteralist, Cajek and Optimuschris posted the following "articles" in response to a request to write something for the UnSignpost. Porn and the impending doom By Multiliteralist As we all know, the impending doom to all good things is caused by porn. This vile practice of drawing pictures of naked women has spread so wide among our young men that it is almost impossible to get them to do anything else. User groups and the impending doom By Cajek No wai, the impending doom is caused by user groups! Impending doom and porn By Optimuschris Our porn! The usergroups are coming, and with them...impending doom! Treasure these last few mumble with your porn for the end is nigh! First person article about porn and impending doom By Multiliteralist I was in a usergroup, watching porn. Suddenly I understood watching porn in a usergroup would do nothing against the impending doom. I got rather stuck, and forgot the reason. Later, I forgot about the impending doom as well. That's what watching porn in a usergroup will do to you. Suddenly I understood: if you are the first person in a usergroup, nobody can make you watch porn. My advice if you are in a usergroup and someone tries to make you watch some porn, avert your eyes! if you see porn, remember that the doom is impending. The perfect solution to problems with porn, usergroups, and the impending doom Form your own usergroup and make others watch porn!

Check out these pages! A "clever" forum topic? Has the world gone completely insane? What in the name of Sophia is a "clan"? Voting to close voting on a votey type thing? From our logs MOTHERFUCKING NIGGER LOVER SPECIAL: 21:34, 14 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Nevada" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 21:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 21:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Why is the fucking nigger vandal back? I figured he would have killed himself by now, the little waste of sperm......) 01:38, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "ROMAN DOG BIRD IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Anybody else here a nigger faggot? Oh, wait, we all probably are. *goes back to eating his god damn fried chicken w/ Colt 45 on the side*) 05:49, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.212.236.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fucking one trick pony. And stop accusing all of us of being black, you worthless little prick. You do realise how gay that makes you sound when you tell us to suck your dick, right?) 05:55, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "UNDER USER IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK 24/7" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, you're a clever little cookie, aren't you? I can't WAIT for you to do this me. Too bad I might not be up at the time...oh well.) 06:08, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "ROMAN DOG BIRD IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK 24/7" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, fuck it, I want to see what this little mongoloid can come up with instead, if anything. But seriously folks, in all seriousness, I'm as black as they get. A friend of mine told me this once.) 18:09, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Joseph Stalin" [edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [move=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) ‎ (Yeah, Bill Cosby pounded me up my gay nigger ass last night. It was HOTT.) 20:27, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.46.52.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Please end your life right now. Go take one od your father's guns, load it, put it in your mouth, and pull the trigger.) 20:30, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" ‎ (Oh God, first the nigger vandal returns, and then you're ugly ass shows up again to "torment" us with your worthless crap. You need to kill yourself as well.) 20:31, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" ‎ (No, really. Tie a noose, put it around your head, hang yourself. Simple.) 20:32, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Yeah, yeah, we know already, you little crybaby. What did we ever do to you? Oh, wait, all you can do is cry and moan and make pages with periods and then blank them. Speech is beyond you, I guess.) 20:33, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (And I've never been more serious about this whole suicide thing. I've been reluctant to tell you people to do so in the past, but I really don't care anymore. It's not like you're really going to do it. I'm sure you're having a blast doing this every day.) 20:37, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNNEWS SUCKS!" ‎ (I'm sure you're not as much of a lower life form as I think you are. You just love doing this, knowing how much it irritates us. Me especially, as I'm the only one willing to type out messages this long in response.) 20:40, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!" ‎ (I wonder what else you'll come up with. Are you just going to keep adding exclamation points? You must be one of the angriest people on the planet or something. You're worse than Idi Amin and God combined.) 20:40, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!" ‎ (And I'm sure shit like this has been done before. Originality certainly is dead. I mean, can you get any lamer?) 20:42, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!" ‎ (But really now, what if nobody deleted this shit? What if we let you and the nigger vandal just do what you always do? Would you assimilate the website so it's all the same shit? OH! What if you two got into a conflict?! That would be comedy bronze!) 20:43, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!" ‎ (God, just imagine you two going at it, two little twats who think they're the rebellious type going at it, with.....with......oh man....) 20:50, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.96.165.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yes it does. You're a real rebel aren't you? I bet you've murdered many blacks before and beaten up various others. I am TERRIFIED of you.) 20:51, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Kentuckistan" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (You're talking about how we're nigger faggots like it's a bad thing. Well, if you keep talking about putting your dick in my mouth, that clearly makes you gay. Don't try to tell me you like women. You haven't said anything to prove this.) 22:19, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Ohio" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, so it's a domination thing, right? You can't possibly be gay since you're making me suck your cock, but I'm the one enjoying it since I'm a gay nigger, which is the type of person you hate. Right, okay, but do you like women? Y'know, with the vaginer?) 15:50, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked ZooZoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Your mother is a nigger. You are what you hate.) 17:43, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.94.198.122 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (TYLER LIONS!!! YOU KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!!!!! AND MORDILLO IS A JEW, MY NIGGER!!!!!!!) 17:50, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Maryland" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 17:50, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 17:50, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Tyler Lions? Never heard a more niggerish name then that! Let's lynch 'em!!!!!!) 20:27, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Louisiana" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 20:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 20:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Well, you're finally listening to me! But Hitler's been long dead! How the fuck is he going to take out Mordildo? Don't talk for my nigguh hitler, man.) 15:42, 18 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Work" [edit=sysop] (expires 15:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=sysop] (expires 15:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Yo nigga, imma gonna break free from deese chains and fill yo cracka ass up wit mah dick, honkey bitch) Biopic of the Week MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER is the token black admin. Known for his rampant homosexuality and love of sucking the cocks of racist vandals, he's forever spoiling the fun of innocent, hardworking vandals by deleting their masterpieces about their friends, and then adds insult to injury by banning them with excitable and lengthy comments. Bastard. He'll probably get lynched by the KKK before too long. Cajek Notice of the Week He was banned a couple times. No, seriously. See for yourself.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:38, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you for supporting Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

To show my appreciation, I'd like to eat your snake.

—Guildensternenstein

---

(template courtesy of your adopapa) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:00, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

My Liege

I nommed the article as you requested my lord. By the way you should really archive this, it's lagging like a bitch.--CrabPope 14:05, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

you archive it.. I cant, im on my mobile phone. Also, thanks :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 12:22 May 24 '09

Hey Faggot!

Or alternatively, hi there! I noticed your name was listed on IC. I also noticed that our latest project is in need of some help. So I put two and two together and realized I should ask Modus. When he told me to get bent, I immediately thought of you. I'm setting an arbitrary deadline for this one at next week Saturday, so if sometime in the next week you can tear yourself away from your porn collection and maybe contribute a line or two it'd be appreciated. We're counting on you, <insert name here>! -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:30, 23 May Dictated; not read.

Hey!

What do you think to this? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:27 25 May 2009

I think it is very good, I read it like 4 days ago, and I liked it... Also, vote for my article on vfh. Gay whoring :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 15:34 May 25 '09

Which one's yours? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:54 25 May 2009

The HowTo:Become A King. That's helpful whoring. Don Puttano cHeDDs 16:33,25May,2009

Thanks!

Thanks for the vote! --Clemens177 06:53, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

you're always welcome, buddy. Good start :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 06:56 May 26 '09

hey

You asked if anyone is religious on WOTM. I am religious. --Docile hippopotamus 07:02, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

I was just asking, they were talking about gays and heaven. I wanted to tell a joke without offending anybody.. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 07:05 May 26 '09

Once upon a time...

You asked me for a pic. But then you VFH'd the article and the timing was tricky. I just wanted to let you know I wasn't ignoring you so if you still want pics for that article remind me what it was and I'll give it a go. --^Dame 23:33, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

oh, thanks a lot.. But being such a lazy arse, I dont revisit my old articles.. Still, ill tell you if i need chops for a future article.. Thanks anyway :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 23:37 May 26 '09

oh, and i have an article on vfh. Howto become king. Read n voat Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 23:41 May 26 '09

Voted, good job. Oh, and have you considered archiving? Your talkpage I mean, it's frigging HUGE. --^Dame 23:47, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Archiving is for bitches. Unless you archive 3 or more times, in which case you're awesome. unless you archive 12 or more times, in which case you are gay. Don Puttano cHeDDs 00:53,27May,2009

Thanks thank tank!!!

I have to thank you all again Because you voted for my page about my Nursery to get featured on the front page of the internet and that’s really awesome because Mummy got me a new toy! Although she did tell me never to pee in the sandpit again.

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 08:39 27 May 2009

Signature

Yeah, that'd would be cool. How do I get one? Any recommendations? "Clemens" is for Mark Twain, 177 is for the square root of pi. If that helps! --Clemens177 22:19, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Noted. Now, just take some time to look around the place, and tell me which sig style you want. :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:23 May 27 '09

UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

May 28th, 2009 • Issue 49 • The kind of news your momma warned you about

Going Portal by UU Under conditions of great secrecy, a select group of talented volunteers has been slaving away at the wiki-coalface, dedicating themselves to the selfless task of bringing Uncyclopedia a dedicated selection of portal pages. And now their tireless efforts are starting to bear fruit, with the first few being linked on the Main Page by noted twirly star of David, Mordillo. He proudly flagged them up as "new!", until Bradaphraser, more accurately understanding the IQ of the average Uncyclopedian, flagged then as "newd!" instead. What, some of you may ask, are portal pages? Well, rather than have us explain it laboriously for you (because that sounds like, you know, effort), why not take a look at the following highly sexy portals: Politics; Games; Science; History and Art. And with more to come including the intriguing concept of a Quaint portal from Cajek, one thing's for sure: there has recently been an increase in the number of portals on Uncyclopedia. What? Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia! by Docile hippopotamus Actually, Nile and Nile related articles are not invading Uncyclopedia - we merely wanted to say that to see if you, the reader, were gullible enough to believe it. And you were. More like, "Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia hoax!" Let's find out what Sir Edward Mahm00shA, professor of Egyptian history and archaeology at Oxford university exclusively had to say about this: "It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth". See now? Undeniable proof from Sir Edward Mahm00shA that the band is chilling with him and have not even mentioned invading Uncyclopedia. We also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he exclusively replied: "Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story". Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists - very afraid. To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal.

Check out these pages! A true Uncyc legend returns! Promise to make a vote, the whole vote and nothing but the vote Big audio dynamite From our logs: 19:47, 25 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 88.208.208.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yep, you're really trying, I see. Great, keep the laughs coming, Mr. Funny Man.) 09:37, 25 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.146.77.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You meant "make love to me, she dog") 20:43, 24 May 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.154.2.5 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Vandalizing articles, smearing dog shit all over Todd Lyons's car, etc.) 10:48, 23 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.211.138.192 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank, I'm running out of insulting ban reasons.) Biopic of the Week Todd Lyons has been on Uncyclopedia forever. No, seriously, he started editing in 2005 - and he's still here! He cut his article writing teeth on Dwight Schultz, and went on to write a further 98 of the buggers, while nailing his first feature with Fecal E.Coli, which started a run of 18.5 front page appearances up to the recent Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters. He's been an admin longer than most of our readership have been users. Put together. And he still has all his own teeth, he tells us! Blatant Filler of the Week This box here, which is blatant padding so the formatting of this issue looks about right. Cajek ban of the Week 22:16, 26 May 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Unacceptable username: ...too few recent bans for my liking....)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

The only newspaper to be delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:12, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Mr Onion69 is gay

I had to put it on QVFD. It's stupid, unoriginal, insults another user, etc.. Those are all things we don't want noobs to think is okay (especially etc.). I'm all for insulting other users, but be original. Winkler was never funny. Just like Chuck Norris. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:50, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

I think I may actually have been offended. But yeah. Sort of flattered to. :/ ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 03:05 1 June 2009

It just needs to be original. And insult even more gay people. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 03:07, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Im really sorry, orian, I swear i didnt mean to offend you. It was just a joke went bad. Sorry, honestly sorry dude. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 04:13 June 1 '09

Thanks!

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:49, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

you're welcome. Now, nom me :p Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 10:52 June 1 '09

Thanks!

For the nom on reviewer of the month. I really appreciate it! Staircase CUN^t 20:00, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey Grad Ado

Looks like your slightly racist UnScript is gonna be featured next. That'll make it the first of June. yay. Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:37,1June,2009

Oh, yea, and Im absofuckinglutely happy about it :) Btw, nom me for UoTM, I want to see how many will vote for me, without any whoring this time Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:55 June 1 '09

I was going to anyway, but seeing as I don't have a choice now... Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:58,1June,2009

Done. Don Puttano cHeDDs 23:00,1June,2009

IRC

Can you log on? Click #3 web based if you have no client. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:44, Jun 2

Just thought I'd keep you in the know

Cajek thinks you're my sockpuppet. Don Puttano cHeDDs 02:49,2June,2009

Don't worry, though. I have irrefutable evidence that shows Cajek is my sock. Him and RAHB. And Leddy and RDB are my gloves. Modus is my hat. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 07:07, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Dex, you're my condom :P Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 08:27 June 2 '09

What am I? What am I? Staircase CUN^t 08:38, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

My pants Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 08:43 June 2 '09

I saw you more as a cockring. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Omg omg! Mhaille posted on my talk page!!!1! Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:01 June 2 '09

So wait, is everybody on Uncyc just 1 person, ya know other than me? Or is everyone a computer and they're plotting against me because they feel threatened by humanity? AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Don Puttano cHeDDs 17:53,2June,2009

We're all either NXWave or Famine. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:59, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Just making sure. Correction: We're all either NXWave or Famine OR CheddarBBQ. I'm my own man. Don Puttano cHeDDs 19:25,2June,2009

I've actually been NXWave for 3 months now. Don't tell anybody though. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:42, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Bah

Can you please only use 1 signature at a time, it gets confusing. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:11, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

ok Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:22 June 2 '09

Aw, but I liked it that way. Don Puttano cHeDDs 21:27,2June,2009

no, the DJ is right. It gets confusing for some Moosh Show Some Love 21:28 June 2 '09

Aw man. Holy Shit that sig takes up a lot of space. Don Puttano cHeDDs 21:32,2June,2009

fixed Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:33 June 2 '09

CONGRATS!!!!

Your first feature!! Nice work gradado. Don Puttano cHeDDs 19:18,3June,2009

And you got rid of the vacation template. Does this mean you is back? Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:32,3June,2009

It was kinda useless. I couldnt tear myself away from uncyc Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:35 June 3 '09

I noticed. Oh and I have my finals tomorrow. Wish me luck. Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:45,3June,2009

Ra be with you :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:48 June 3 '09

Oh blessed be those who hath been graced by the divine presence of the Almighty Jesus Muhammed Buddha Allah Ra. Thank you, oh great Mahm00shA, foretold prophet of the powerful ruler. Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:53,3June,2009

It's funny...

I have an Egyptian taxi driver. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

can you get him to read the article? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:16 June 3 '09

UN:CHAT

I've started to get into this, seeing as it's a lot faster than boring page messages. Tell me anytime you can come on. Don Puttano cHeDDs 02:18,4June,2009

Thankies!

"Feeling any pain yet, Mrs. Davis?" Necropaxx is delighted to thank you for your For vote on his recent rewrite, Antbortion. Remember, kids, this is what happened to your would-be brother Jeffy. Go kick your parents for him, why don't you?

And good luck with UotM! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 15:32, Jun 4

UN:CHAT

You should get into Un:Chat with me. It's like talking through messages, but faster. I usually get on at about 10-11 pm my time, or about 1.5-2 hrs. from when I post this. Don Puttano cHeDDs 00:35,5June,2009

Also, it might be time to archive. Don Puttano cHeDDs 13:46,5June,2009

do the archiving. I cant do it from my cell phone and I cant get to my pc Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:03 June 5 '09

UnSignpost June 4th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!

Todd not Lionised by all? By UU Uncyclopedia's long-cherished status as the worst was given a massive fillip this week with the discovery that genial admin Todd Lyons has his own Facebook hate group. This considerable accomplishment has to be considered among the highest praise ever bestowed on an admin of this wiki. Kosher kvetcher Mordillo even opined that it makes him the #1 admin on the wiki, as "even Mhaille doesn't have a hate group!" Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings By Gerrycheevers As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism.

Check out these pages! Image spam Another one bites the dust Admin competence? From our logs: 01:08, 3 June 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.8.59.236 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (So far you've edited the pages 'your mom' and 'school'. Want me to try and guess your age?) 07:46, 2 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.17.189.150 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bored fuckes should go fuck boards. It's too early in the morning and I can't think of anything smart to say) 20:04, 30 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 174.117.160.23 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Cyberbullying: we don't want to hear about people you know and why you want to suck their dick. I know that's not quite what you said, but something about what you said implied it) 20:38, 29 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Da Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (PLEASE MASSUH WHIP ME, OH MAH GOD, I'M GETTIN' SO HOT, I'LL SUCK YO DICK!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week The very Reverend Zim ulator is the undisputed, acknowledged, and slightly puce master of UnNews. As such, reporting about him in a newspaper may be an act of such metaphysical self-referentialism that it creates a negative feedback loop, destroying the universe, or at least this wiki. But, in the name of bringing Zim's name to our readership, that's a risk we're willing to take. We'd normally link to a bunch of stuff he's done at this point, but just take a look at UnNews - as we mentioned, he's basically the guy who keeps it all tickin'. Rats off to ya, Zim! Old School Featured Article of the Week In a week when Obama is trying to reach out to the Muslim community, perhaps it is an apt time to consider how far he is going to have to reach. Will he ever be able to bridge the gap all the way to the readership of American Fundie Magazine? "The magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist", and is just as relevant today as it was way back in 2006. VFD kept article of the week Plan 11 from Outer Space has been referred to as "amusing", "pretty funny" and "hilarious". Go see why people thought it worth having around.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Delievered by Saberwolf116 03:00, 5 June 2009 (UTC)