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Today's Featured Article Hello and welcome to our one hour special on the American Man, brought to you by cool, refreshing, Coors Light! In the next hour, you will learn the ins and outs of being a true man according to our sponsor, Coors Light. Silver Bullet! Many of these qualities are (or should be) entirely obvious to any man living in America, sitting on his couch with his dumbass friends, a plate of wings on the coffee table, and a frost-brewed Coors Light in his hand to wash it all down with. However, for those wishing to study the subtle mannerisms of the species, for lesser men hoping to become less of a wimp (or straight), or for annoyed girlfriends/wives who are sick of repressing their rage for their beastly better halves, we present the following crash-course in manhood as our sponsor, ice cold Coors Light, would have us do so. (Full article...) Recently featured: Unfomercials:Coors Light Presents: The American Man Spider-Man Brain rot My Brawl With Santa Claus on Christmas 1978 Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish? ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity? ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish? ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity? ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?	In the news 5202-6491 hcnyL divaD Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop Taylor Swift and Hailee Steinfeld set for Celebrity Deathmatch as Bills-Chiefs halftime show Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025) David Lynch dies, weird town to investigate (Pictured) Los Angeles Rams rest starters in playoff game to disastrous results Donald Trump given three Nobel Peace Prizes Donald Trump uses his get out of jail free card California's real estate market is on fire... literally. And in shambles. Steve Guttenberg comes to the rescue... without those goofy sound effects South Korea's president arrested for "accidentally" declaring martial law while ordering pizza, sentenced to play in the Squid Game Trudeau resigns after making a mess for a decade, Canucks rejoice Alcohol gets the Surgeon General's Warning for cancer; sparking "Dry January" chaos Jimmy Carter kicks bucket at the ripe old age of 100 Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump Google reveals least popular searches of 2024 Luigi arraigned for gunning down health insurance CEO; pleads not guilty Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • College football championship game • Another Josh Allen/Patrick Mahomes playoff game. Spoiler Alert: refs rig game for Chiefs again Recent deaths: TikTok • A CEO who died peacefully and surrounded by his loving family • Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright Upcoming deaths: The Kansas City Chiefs Refs season • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Israel–Hamas conflict • Laura Palmer On this day... January 20: Act Like You Care About Politics Day 1265 - The first ever House of Parliament is convened, first item on agenda is, "Do the peasants have too much rights?" 1783 - Britain formally splits from the American Colonies after the Revolutionary War: Britain says, "you'll be back." 1789 - George Washington makes speech declaring himself eternal Godking of the 13 colonies, is brought back to his senses with a stiff drink and a good nap. 1953 - Senator Alfred "The Lorax" Ramsey introduces bill to Senate to save the endangered Truffula forest from the Onceler. 2017 - Donald Trump is inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States, satire dies a slow and painful death. 2021 - Donald Trump is expelled as Joe Biden makes his return as the 46th President, promising to reinstate the legality of satire but subsequently failing. 2025 - Robot Hitler is inaugurated as the 47th President, liberals immediately call for a hundred stern op-eds. 2065 - Barron Trump's floating brain becomes President, Americans wish for the simpler days of Mecha Hitler.
Today's featured picture The cover of Grand Theft Auto: Vatican City, in stores soon. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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