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29 April Spain and Portugal go dark 27 April Reporter "Leon Sandcastle" gives his two cents on Shedeur Sanders' massive draft slide 26 April Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him 25 April Local Hyena Appointed Town Crier After Years of 'Crying' Out Guy who gets Absolutely Zero Pussy Affirms Logic and Reason 24 April Man goes to zoo, delivers speech about elephants 23 April Gawr Gura's execution date revealed to be May 1, 2025 Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian, guy! 22 April Chris Rock to star in Vatican comedy Head of Church Archives: April 2025 | Older Indigestions Refresh – add	Sarah Palin: 'Going Rouge' Hits Stores; Hints to Maverick Party ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- Sarah Palin begins her whirlwind tour of her newest book, fittingly titled Going Rouge. Sources tell that it was originally going to be called Story of an Average Maverick Hockey-Mom, but Palin refuted that title, calling it "anti-un-Americana." » Full story US briefly takes lead in war of religious insults ( listen) GAINESVILLE, Florida -- The United States briefly jumped ahead in the months-long battle between Muslims and Christians to give the other side gratuitous offense when Pastor Terry Jones designated next Saturday as the first "Burn a Koran Day." » Full story Tea Party supporters oppose plans to display severed heads of 9/11 victims at Ground Zero GROUND ZERO, New York City -- Supporters of the Tea Party movement have demonstrated in opposition to plans to "display the severed heads of 9/11 victims on spikes at Ground Zero." Supporters of the proposal, however, accuse opponents of being "misleading" and "hysterical." » Full story	From the Chief • Audio • Goldstein Award • Foolitzer Prize • Ask Cthulhu • Ask Hal 9000 • Tech Support Write a new UnNews story: Type your desired headline and then click on the button. Read Me First| Style Guide| Newsroom Stories with Audio UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg President Partons turkey UnNews remembers Phil Spector Strait Country is Rolling Stone's Gayest Album of All Time Tips to avoid the coronavirus North Korea to separate onto their own island (More • Podcast) Horoscope for This Month {{i|{ Week of the: Taurus Read this month's predictions UnFunnies for April 29 (show)

PoliticsMore US agreed to join Canada as 11th Province Democrats fight Republican agenda with disapproving tsk-tsks American base at South Pole accused of flying US flag upside-down Scooby-Doo Named Acting Director of Division of Enforcement Toilet paper scarcity in Germany Biggest WTO meeting ever held Boney M removes Neil Young cover from Spotify Governor Cuomo is screwed Christina Chandler announces her candidacy Russia declares Venus as a Russian Planet If Joe Biden isn't a creep, then he isn't a creep! U.S. warns Gerard Depardieu: Stay out of our elections	TechnologyMore 500 gigabytes of hentai found inside of Tesla's "Full Self Driving" source code Scorsese discovers Britney Spears Email song NASA fixes supercomputer by turning it off and then back on Tiktok's scientists train users to "scroll down" National dogeday ensues, Dogecoin price is pumping, everyone is rich Trolling AI "indistinguishable" from humans Lordy, there are tapes! Holiday shopping preview 2017 We need to talk about net neutrality New Amazon gadget may be last device you will ever need if you can figure out what it does Hasta la Vista, baby! Windows 7 predecessor terminated CNN becomes first TV network to broadcast in low definition	EntertainmentMore Stephen Root warns character actors of impending doom: "You're not safe either, Malcolm McDowell" If you don't watch this movie, we will do something Pleakley to Have Sex with Men in Exchange for Money New "Weird Al" album to be executively produced by an infant baby Richard Hammond joins One Direction Cliff Richard abuse allegations investigated by police Mick Jagger: Van Halen are wrinkly old men trying to relive their youth Scale Everest: Now’s your chance! Lindsay Lohan creamed in Liz Taylor portrayal Wii U on indefinite hold Population of men who identify as gay up nearly 200% in month following leak of Snooki nudes Editorial - Why SOPA and PIPA are good ideas	Original reportingMore Gawr Gura's execution date revealed to be May 1, 2025 Car crash foiled by kid's reflexes Asdfghjkldgfhdgjddhga Grover Cleveland pretty depressed after Trump takes his one cool thing KKK grand wizard woke up from a terrible dream last night 10-year old math prodigy just realized Santa can't eat all those cookies OH MY GOD WHAT THE FREAK Trump just won, so here's a special HowTo about dealing with the hard times that are coming NFL player Sam Darnold emerges from election anarchy, crowned GEQBUS Peter gets dementia to stop stupid cutaways on next week's Family Guy Springfield infant arrested for second Trump shooting Biden shits himself!
On This Day April 29, 2024 April 29, 2023	ReligionMore Toast seen in face of Jesus Billy Graham dies at 99: What other obits aren't telling you America setting up for a coup by Satanists, Angel says Apple plans electric religion Bats are eating my legs! Controversial gay admits to Christian feelings Conversion therapy leader admits to male practice; closes facility After 598 years, Catholic Church admits wrongdoings Low-ranking Syrian terrorist defects from NATO Did the Time Warp wreck Canadian's Pope chances? The new looks sweeping the Muslim world Obama forgets sister's holiday	HealthMore Countries Unveil Breakfast Cereal Plan 'Sunday Papers Podcast' Host Greg Fitzsimmons' Sex Tape Becomes Highest-Rated Film in India Latest Narcissism Wave Grips Los Angeles County, Women Urged to Stay Low for Now Hundreds of Patients Stuck in Oregon Hospital Beds California officials declare Elon Musk's ego essential UnNews Quarantine Guide 2020 The Who unveils plan to lower insulin prices Yang "a coronavirus carrier," says Trump Rush Limbaugh accidentaly ties wrong part of brain behind back, goes into cardiac arrest All 'girls' in sex chat room actually girls Man fighting for life after eating an entire Mickey D's Dinner Box Are we all going to die of Ebola?	CrimeMore British Peace Officers to be Armed with Fortnite Shock Hammers. Scooby-Doo Robbed at Gunpoint in London Mr. Krabs tax returns released Police seize $37 billion cash in Federal Reserve Bank raid Nixon admits 'I am a crook. No wait.' Mueller turns in report You're in big trouble, mister Enough is enough Lordy, there are tapes! GOP ends House Russia probe; Veselnitskaya admits to being Russian spy Bill Cosby found guilty of every crime FBI raids Trump lawyer Michael Cohen
UnMagazine	Headlines (Add) Click a headline to make a story! Roman gladiator escapes from tomb, goes on zombie rampage Real Timothee Chalamet at Chalamet lookalike contest actually Finn Wolfhard Noel Gallagher creates six-hour version of Chappell Roan song Robert F. Kennedy eats every last panda Eugene Krabs in exclusive interview reports how the Krusty Krab has been impacted by the tariffs	Uncyclopedia is made possible through contributions from readers like you. All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.

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Today a 0% chance of eruptions Wednesday a 57% chance of dust Tuesday a 57% chance of earthquakes Suggested Recreation While there is a 1000% chance of icicles Thursday, we suggest jumping off a cliff.

Global Warming Indicator Global Warming Indicator International Posts Special Weather Report: Climatologists expect Margaret Thatcher to thaw out this year. UnWeather Station Forecast Stats The odds of yesterday's forecast accuracy are about as good as today's stock market pricing index for crude oil.

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