UnNews:Peter gets dementia to stop stupid cutaways on next week's Family Guy

Friday, November 1, 2024

Hey, Lois, remember the time when.. umm.. uhh... Wait a minute, I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING! (Audiences will be heard around the world saying "about damn time" after this line is broadcast next week)

FOX - The company with a news network even more satirical than ours. Like, real thick layers of satire.

QUAHOG, RHODE ISLAND - In our more welcomed news stories to start November, FOX has announced that next week's Family Guy will have a catastrophic change on the rest of this series (when will it die, we really don't know). On next week's Family Guy, Peter Griffin will get dementia.

One main reason that this was made was to stop the stupid cutaways. "We're tired of it." said an anonymous Family Guy writer that we lulled here using 6 kilos of pure Peruvian. "Seth MacFarlane holds us at gunpoint and tells us to make 16 cutaways. I pray to God every day for a time machine so this show stayed cancelled after season three. Can I have the crack now?"

Family Guy's almost addicting (see what I did there) use of cutaways has been a topic of laughter over many years, South Park (also known as the second best animated Comedy Central cartoon) famously lampooned it in season 10, episode 4 "Cartoon Wars Part II", saying that all of their gags were made by manatees in a tank. Family Guy writers were very butthurt about the "roast" and shot up everybody at Comedy Central, including Trey and Matt, who were seen in their office trying to figure out how many George W. Bush jokes they could make in seven minutes. We've been there, guys, we've been there. Seth MacFarlane was the only man arrested however due to people actually thinking he makes all of the cartoon, well, he really doesn't, but shh, let's not get more people in those oversized prisons.

For what Family Guy will do now that their most easiest way of getting funny jokes out of braindead 40-years old who still listen to Limp Bizkit, see a lot of jokes about Kanye West, Emmy's, Conway Twitty, and whatever the men at the retirement home can think of on the spot.

In other close news stories, the newest Treehouse of Horror episode closes with "Til' Death D'oh Us Bart" in which Bart gets hyperrealistic bloodshot eyes and kills all his family (ay carumba), and in the newest Futurama, well, hehe, to be completely honest, who really is still watching Futurama if we all know it'll get cancelled again?

...

...wow, we didn't make one single stupid dementia joke.

...wow, we didn't make one sin- damn it.