UnNews:US agreed to join Canada as 11th Province

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Wednesday, April 9, 2025

In a surprise move, master negotiatior and artist of the deal, Donald Trump has agreed to join the United States of Canada and Greenland as 11th province. Trump announced that this was is all part of the master plan to ensure that the tax dodging penguins henceforth start paying taxes equal to that of other american tax payers. Trump has promissed to start taking French lessons immediately. King Charles has rescinded the invite to Trump for a state banquet since he is now, a mere state governor.

A man calmy tips a trash can over and runs away with a caption reading "Canadian Riot".
Example of a piece of propaganda USCG citizens are likely to see in the following months online.

Following the event, Donald Trump has announced the following adjustments should be made to the United States in honour of this historic moment as part of Executive Order 69420:

  • Every nuclear family in the United States of Canada and Greenland is subject to 1 (one) liter of maple syrup, free of charge. Elon Musk fought tooth and nail to not let anyone else touch his collection of maple syrup he had been hiding beneath the floorboards in the White House, but eventually gave in to Trump's cause after losing a thumb war to the president.
  • All ICE agents are to be equipped with the resources necessary to construct a rapid maple syrup taste test for individuals suspected of being illegal aliens. Everyone in the United States of Canada and Greenland are subject to deportation if they do not score above 85% on a maple syrup taste test.
  • Social Studies in every school are to be replaced with Syrup Studies.
  • All insulin devices are to be recalled for replacement with syrup injection devices instead.
  • All shampoo & conditioner products sold in the United States of Canada and Greenland must contain at least 10% maple syrup content starting on May 14, 2025.
  • Propaganda emphasizing compelled behavior inspired by traditional Canadian social norms are to be installed at high density throughout the country, and all Internet services in the United States of Canada and Greenland must have at least 1% of internet traffic promote traditional Canadian social norms.
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