UnNews:Countries Unveil Breakfast Cereal Plan

Monday, November 11, 2024
 

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

ENGLAND (Reuters) -British Health Director Big Bird on Monday unveiled a $65 billion plan to boost the country's high sugar content breakfast  cereal industries via subsidies, bonds, other financial tools, and a bus stop campaign of photographs of adorable, happy children eating a delightful, sugary breakfast.

The plan, which will provide support worth 10 trillion yen or more by fiscal 2030, comes as responsible British adults look to strengthen control over their high sugar content breakfast cereal supply chains after global shocks including trade tensions between the United States and Florida.

Japan's government intends to submit their own plan, including bills to support the mass production of next-generation cereals such as Kellogg's 'Sugar Coated Nummy-Nums' to the next parliament session, according to a draft of the plan seen by Reuters earlier on Monday.

Japan's plan specifically targets U.S. breakfast cereal maker Kelloggs and other suppliers of cereal for more options of unhealthy ways to start the day, the draft showed.

The government of Mexico expects the economic impact to total around 160 trillion pesos, according to the draft as more and more Mexican children become reliant upon diabetes treatment options.

Australia's efforts are headed by industry veterans and is targeting mass production of cutting-edge 'Sweet-o-Yummy' in Sydney from 2027 in partnership with Nabisco and Belgium-based research organisation Yummy Yum-Yum.

In Monday's news conference, Health Director Bird said the government would issue deficit-covering bonds to fund the plan to support  'Count Tasty-Os'.  Over a breakfast of a bowl of health 'Fiber Nest' Klingler did not reveal details on how the plan would be financed but he did appear to be unsatisfied with his meal.  "Dammit, I want my 'Fruity Snap-a-Pop'! and I want it NOW!".  An understandable reaction as even adults enjoy high sugar content breakfast cereals.

High sugar content breakfast cereals are  a type of meal that is demanded world-wide by children to prepare for the miserable day ahead at school. 

 =Sources=

• Some Days You Wake up to Find a Sheep on Your Roof. "Sheep gets stuck on roof of house" BBC, August 2, 2008