UnNews:Governor Cuomo is screwed

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

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Doesn't look like Harvey Weinstein to me but he is!

This was Cuomo's closest election. Yeah, and he still won by a 14% margin.

Albany, NY - In 2010, Andrew Cuomo (D-NY), officially known as King Andy I of the House of Cuomo, First of his Name or simply King Andy, was elected governor of New York, winning re-election in 2014 and 2018. He seemed like a pretty good governor, in fact, until some shady shit came out in 2021. Apparently, Cuomo is in deep trouble, and will be sent to the principal's office. That principal is Attorney General Letitia James, launching an investigation to see what Cuomo has done. He has committed 2 grave crimes, and a 3rd beginning to come to light.

Nursing home deaths cover up

Coronavirus disease 2019 began ravaging New York on March 1, 2020, and quickly, everyone looked to NYC as they became the epicenter. No matter where it came, it stopped off at NYC to visit. Everyone approved his leadership and praised him, and he had many parties due to his successes. Even gave him enough taxpayer money so he could write his own memoir. Until January 28, 2021, when shady shit was detected. Turns out he underestimated the death toll by as much as 50%. This caused more fatalities. Cuomo is being labeled as an "indirect murderer of thousands", and "must be imprisoned immediately for his actions". Cuomo denies it, but of course people like AOC say he did it. His emergency powers were stripped, with a 43-20 vote in the Senate and 107-43 in the Assembly, more then half of who voted for were Democrats, so even they think Cuomo fucked up now. It's not even just that though...

Sexual harassment accusations

He has sexually harassed 5 women and was inappropriate with a 6th. More are yet to come. The first was in December 2020 and everyone thought she was lying but in the last two weeks 5 women came front. Cuomo, being the conceited baby he is (like Donald Trump), denies these accusations. But the Attorney General is on the scene. King Andy then made frivolous excuses to defend this.

Some allege that Cuomo created that executive order to allow men and women and trans people to go into whatever bathrooms they wanted... as a loophole so he himself could "legally" rape as many women as he wanted in the ladies' room just by wearing a wig and skirt and claiming to be a woman. This pissed off the many people who had taken advantage of this new law to have as much consensual sex as possible. Sure enough, several incidents of harrassment have been reported in the ladies' room for an individual named Andrea Curry who may or may not be linked to Cuomo.

Tappan Zee Bridge Controversy

The old Tappan Zee Bridge, built under scarce resources, was a national treasure until being knocked down for Andy's new bridge

The New Tappan Zee Bridge (aka the Mario Cuomo Bridge) was built in 2017. It is on I-87 and I-287, and Cuomo ordered poor construction. This is because he was so greedy to have a bridge named after his daddy. An oopsy in September 2016 injured 5 people and caused the nearby Indian Point nuclear power plant to go ker-plewie for about the 20th time. After his sexual assault allegations, this all came to light.

What the fuck was the Tappan Zee?

Good question.

Basically, it was a historic suspension bridge that went across the Hudson River, goes from Westchester to Rockland, and carried multiple super-duper-looper-pooper important roads on it. This one was literally built from a deck of cards due to the Korean War hogging up all the steel resources, making it all the more impressive as it carried heavy traffic for 52 years. But King Andy just had to demolish that historic bridge to put that modern, ugly behemoth of a steel bridge so his daddy could have his name on that thing. The new bridge doesn't even work; the "deck" of the bridge is just a fancy hologram, sending truckers and commuters careening into the goddamn river.

TL/DR: Andy Cuomo replaced a bridge that looked like it didn't work but did... with a bridge that looks like it works but doesn't and so happens to be named after his pops.

Sources

• CBS News "New York attorney general announces lawyers who will lead Cuomo investigation" ', March 9, 2021