UnNews:American base at South Pole accused of flying US flag upside-down

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US Commandant J.S. Smith proudly poses with the official South Pole flagpole, which was ceremoniously planted at the South Pole in late 1957.
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22:36, 31 May 2024 (UTC)

SOUTH POLE, ANTARCTICA: A new political scandal is brewing in the Hallowed Halls of Congress over the proper display of the flag of the United States. Enraged members of Congress are now taking a deep hard look into recently revealed revelations that the Amundsen–Scott South Polar Station (a secret US scientific installation secretly built in the deepest and darkest parts of Antarctica) has been improperly flying the flag upside-down for many years now, almost from its very inception in 1956. This is in despite of US flag regulations which specify that the flag should be flown in such a manner only as a signal of emergency or extreme distress.

The scientists and researchers and itinerant groundskeepers at the base defended the long-time practice, saying that US flags at or near the South Pole have always been flown that way simply because it is more convenient to align any flag, no matter from which part of the world, with the local force of gravity. The scientists, being scientists, also denied any direct involvement or even passing interest in contemporary politics, and claimed that they have absolutely no knowledge of recent events since they are effectively cut off from civilization as we know it.

As can be seen in this original undoctored photo of the Amundsen–Scott South Pole station, the US flag flying over (or under?) the main building is clearly oriented upside-down. Democrats everywhere are demanding answers.

In a hearing yesterday at the Senate Subcommittee on the Weaponization of Flags, Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) viciously accused US Commandant John J.S. Smith (in command of the station since January 2017) of simultaneously disrespecting the US flag (burning it, however, is okay) and sympathizing with Donald Trump's ongoing efforts to steal the 2024 presidential election, the 2020 presidential election, and the 2016 presidential election. Senate Democrats also accused the Commandant of doctoring photographic evidence by forwarding to Congress hand-generated photographs of the base's flagpole orientated with the South Pole facing upwards, instead of with North at the top like in all proper maps and globes.

US House Representative and part-time astrophysicist Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX-18) condemned Commandant Smith for failing to take into account that people who regularly hang by their feet from the bottom of the world should have long-since learned by now which way is up, and therefore have no excuse for blatant acts of vexillological inversion. She is also calling on Biden to issue an FBI warrant for searching all areas of the base for hidden caches of Confederate flags, "Dont Tread On Me" flags, bibles, guns, bootleg copies of the Constitution, and other such subversive right-wing paraphernalia.

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