UnNews:Christina Chandler announces her candidacy
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Friday, September 11, 2026
RUCKERSVILLE, VIRGINA - In a YouTube live stream that many consider shocking, confusing and downright hilarious, Christina Chandler has officially announced her presidential campaign. It all started when Christina left a tweet yesterday asking her loyal legion of followers to watch her on YouTube tomorrow where she stated there will be a special surprise in store. After a intro that was poorly drawn and animated, she then went into a speech where she stated that...
“ | "For years. I, a high-functioning autistic god honest person have been a victim of trolling. I remember the days when I won a contest and all the attention was on me... and it was nice attention at that. Nowadays when I get attention it's like... when you going to draw your comics Christine? when you going to finish my commission Christine? and then they have the nerve to yell at me? calling me a terrible person when I'm a nice guy. I'm not a bad guy at all. I'm not! I'm going to show the goodness of my heart and make the world a better place for me by running for president! | ” |
The announcement did not get the expected applause or praise that she expected. Instead fans expressed confusion and doubt with some expressing anger and some calling him variations of the R-word. She then fielded a Q&A session which mostly consisted of his loyal fanbase asking him "why she was doing this in the first place" and expressing doubt that "she would become president", some even posted laughing emojis and said that they would "bet their life savings and win it all back cause it was never going to happen."
She answered all the questions with half-explanations and poorly thought up sentences. One response that stood out in particular was...
“ | You trolls have made my life sad! Especially that fuck who had the nerve to write an article on E-cyc-lo-pee-dia Dra-dra-dra-mati-ca[1] which I have tried to take down but they won't take it down! Then the trolls had to make forums and wikis about me and there's nothing good said there about me! I am Sonichu! If I knew how to transform into him you trolls would be in trouble! Especially GameStop and Target! | ” |
The fans then proceeded to throw laughing emojis at his face which made him very mad to the point where he flipped over his computer and proceeded to make several holes in the wall. She then picked up his computer, looked at it menacingly and said...
“ | You will hate the day you messed with Christina Weston Chandler, just you wait. I'm going to make you dead! | ” |
Her mom then asked him what she was doing and in a rush, ended the live stream presumably so his fans couldn't see something embarrassing happening, probably getting her diaper changed or something.
When we asked him for comment on how his presidential campaign would be run, she said "Shut up you troll!".[2]