UnNews:Car crash foiled by kid's reflexes
Friday, March 21, 2025
Accident, MARYLAND – A local child narrowly escaped being struck by an automobile whilst in pursuit of a sports ball that had been thrown a tad too far across the road at 12:30 a.m. in the afternoon. The child, identified as 4-year-old David Sean Murray, sustained only a scraped knee, which he insisted was a battle scar from his daring escape. The ball, however, remained completely unscathed, undeterred and quite possibly the true hero of the story.
In an exclusive interview with the victim of the near miss, David revealed more about the tragic event: he had humbly begged his father for ice cream during a tense game of basketball with his playmate, identified as nursery student Harrison "Harry" Peters. After indulging in one particularly scrumptious serving, he promptly demanded a second. Before David's very eyes, however, his multi-purpose Adidas sports ball was tossed just a little too far, sending David into full-blown panic mode. "It struck fear into his very soul", claims eyewitness and neighbour Connie Lingus when interrogated about the incident.
An UnNews correspondent attempted to interview David's father for a full first-hand account of the car crash. Alas, he was in no condition to spill the beans—being comatose at the time. His response, however, given during a brief moment of consciousness, was bizarrely insightful:
| “ | My name is Edwin. I made the Mimic. It was difficult to put the pieces together. But unfortunately, something went so wrong, and now I can't do anything, but sing this stupid song. | ” |
Professional attempts to decipher the unfortunate background of "The Mimic" have yielded forth two conclusions: either it's the result of one too many sedatives, or it's yet another thing Edwin Murray's insurance doesn't cover. Neighbourhood rumours, on the other hand, postulate that "The Mimic" is simply the working title of his new band, hence the rhythm-like nature of his response. Experts remain baffled and continue to investigate.