UnNews:National dogeday ensues, Dogecoin price is pumping, everyone is rich
Tuesday, April 20, 2021
Dogecoin prices are through the fucking roof! Woo hoo! Everybody's rich. Now I can finally buy that million-dollar mansion; that thousand dollar boat -- no, yacht; no, cruise ship; the Denver Broncos; a Learjet; The Complete Works of Ludwig van Beethoven on 180 gram vinyl on my new sound system; and last but certainly not least, that 200-inch 16K HDTV.
Ladies and gentlemen, forget everything I said. Dogecoin just dropped in value after a Monday high.
You inbred barbarians! Don't know a good thing when you see one. You had your chance to invest in a cryptocurrency based on a cheap, outdated meme.
Wait, I've got it! I'm gonna start my own crypto! It'll be based on the Wellerman sea shanty. Everyone loves that song. If I play my cards right, it would debut in 2024, while the meme is still popular.
I'm gonna be rich!
- Tom Wilson, Anna Irrera, Gertrude Chavez-dreyfuss "Dogecoin cryptocurrency slumps after hashtag-fueled surge to record high" Reuters, April 20, 2021