UnNews:500 gigabytes of hentai found inside of Tesla's "Full Self Driving" source code
July 28, 2024
SOMEWHERE, OKLAHOMA
Two weeks ago, William Wankerson, a native Oklahoman, downloaded the source code for Tesla's full self driving car into his computer through an open-network port and found over 87 hours of anime-style pornographic content hidden deep within the source code of the self-driving program. Additionally, there were also 34 photos of Elon himself photoshopped onto nude photos. Allegedly, Mr. Wankerson discovered this a week earlier but required a week of "investigating" before he was ready to reach out to UnNews.
Tesla always had something wrong with their "cars"; this wasn't an opinion held only by elite car enthusiasts, it was common sense. Considering the conduct of the Tesla CEO over the past several years, including his fetish for metallic dildos, refusal to address the cobalt mine in his backyard, and blowing up Malaysia, it took way too long in retrospect for Musk and his kind to be revealed as incompetent car manufacturers.
With this info, we at UnNews contacted Mr. Musk to ask if he knew about this. For some reason, he immediately blocked us, leaving us a voicemail message where he denied all the claims. Oddly, most of them weren't asked by us. Some of them concerned his labor activities, and now with that info, we now know that Elon's a big, big fan of apartheid. While the other ones were what the media usually ask him, so that's boring. In summary, it was a failure and now we're now blocked from Twitter X. Thanks Musk...
When we attempted to send a message to X's social media department, we got two messages, a "we'll get back to you soon", and a poop emoji. Knowing that, it's safe to say we'll never know why there were photos of Elon Musk's head place onto bodybuilders. Not. You see, yesterday, we snuck into Tesla headquarters to see if we could steal the plans for the self-driving car and find out who. We did, and now, we will finally know who ordered that. It...was...Elon Musk! So now we know that not only is he a nepotist, he's also a nepotist! Well, that's repetitive...
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Twitter now auto-replies to press emails with a poop emoji" NPR, March 26, 2023
- Anna Iovine "Twitter scraps press email's auto-reply poop emoji" Mashable, July 22, 2023