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UnNews Religion Section

Welcome to UnNews Religion Section. Spirituality in the news.

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UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.

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Religion in UnNews}}}

Stop dressing like whores, you whores!

BNEI BRAK, Israel -- Local conservative rabbis are sick with worry, anxiety and unease at the increasing popularity of practical, comfortable fashions; more so even than the worry, anxiety and unease that causes their usual kvetching. After much bickering they have responded with the tact, sensitivity and delicate touch for which fundamentalists of all stripes are known; by burning down stores that sell offensive clothing and spraying bleach on women that Rabbi Yosef Elyashiv refers to as "...those nasty whores with their whore legs, whore skin and whore bulges. Whores!". more...

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Religion News Quote of the Moment}}}

“...those nasty whores with their whore legs, whore skin and whore bulges. Whores!”

– Rabbi Yosef Elyashiv on women

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If there's one thing that the intolerant won't tolerate, it's intolerance of their intolerance.

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Religion in UnNews}}}

Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

WARNING: This column is written for, and addressed to, America's Christians only. Well, maybe devout Jews too, as long as they're Christians, but no one else. People of other faiths, or no particular faith at all, probably won't comprehend the looming danger or see anything to be concerned about. Also, no Catholics. No Jehovah's Witnesses, neither...and don't even get me started about Mormons.
This is a three alarm, calling all cars, red alert wake-up call for people who are serious about their Judeo-Christian religion. The end of our religious freedom in America could be at hand.. more...

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Religion in UnNews}}}

Haggard feels "fabulous!"

DOLLYWOOD, USA - Pastor Ted Haggard, recently outed by a drug-pushing "massage"-giving male prostitute as a male prostitute renting "happy ender" meth addict, is finding his new life to be easier than he thought it would be, back when he hated fags. more...