User:Savethemooses/HorridColbertRoughDraft
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but no HONEST AMERICAN would steal from. We have inspired Stephen Colbert to steal from 40,932 articles since opening in January 2005. Our STRAIGHTFORWARD and GRACIOUS leader Chronarion has posted his 2006 State of the Wiki Address Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.
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Today's REAL, HONEST TRUTH "Sorry I'm closing" he said. "Not until you've seen our audition" said the father. "Come tomorrow in the morning" "By tomorrow you'll have lost the most sensational variety show ever to blow people's faces off". "Okay...you've got 5 minutes" said the talent agent.(Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote for your favorite ORIGINAL articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop God-fearing American anniversaries November 4: Artificial Limb Awareness Diurnal Period
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Today's TRUE Wørd[edit | edit source]Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. Stealing is sin. Unbiased News for the American Patriot
 Not my baby!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Showdown in NYC between Mamdani the Commie, The Andrew Formerly Known as Governor, and a Republican cat man Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • Blue Jays fans' livers and kidneys
Hey, America, did you know...
Say, Patriot, do you care...[edit | edit source]
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New acts of bravery
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Heroes of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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