User:Savethemooses/HorridColbertRoughDraft
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but no HONEST AMERICAN would steal from. We have inspired Stephen Colbert to steal from 37,621 articles since opening in January 2005. Our STRAIGHTFORWARD and GRACIOUS leader Chronarion has posted his 2006 State of the Wiki Address Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.
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Today's REAL, HONEST TRUTH I am a free man. I understand that the first person singular is un-encyclopedic in tone but this language is absolutely necessary to establish my status as a sovereign citizen, beholden to no laws or government whatsoever. You might say, "You're above the law? What are you, some kind of Jew?" Well, I'm here to tell you (and by my willful volition establish joinder with you) that no one is under any "law". You see, there is no government – only a giant maritime corporation with contracts called "laws" that the goddamn Feds have led you to believe control you. But they don't. The only real law that controls you is the natural laws of the universe and the Common law of the ancient English. All you have to do to reclaim your natural-born status as a freeman on the land is to say a few keywords to the police and the courts; they'll have no choice but to relinquish their kike-like grasp over you and cede to your superior logic and legal skills. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote for your favorite ORIGINAL articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop God-fearing American anniversaries April 19: Clitoris Awareness Day
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Today's TRUE Wørd[edit | edit source]Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. Stealing is sin. Unbiased News for the American Patriot
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA
Hey, America, did you know...Say, Patriot, do you care...[edit | edit source]
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New acts of bravery
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Heroes of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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