User:Savethemooses/HorridColbertRoughDraft
|
Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but no HONEST AMERICAN would steal from. We have inspired Stephen Colbert to steal from 41,106 articles since opening in January 2005. Our STRAIGHTFORWARD and GRACIOUS leader Chronarion has posted his 2006 State of the Wiki Address Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.
Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent |  |
Today's REAL, HONEST TRUTH Rob Gronkowski, also known as "Gronky Kong", is tall guy who once play American football, now is tall funny guy make appearance on TV. Gronk have play as tight end, no make into wide receiver. Gronk have perverted sense of humor, you see. Hahaha, 69! Gronk have play for team with Tom Brady, namely New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, play so hard against hometown team Buffalo Bills due to Bills dinosaur owner no pick Gronk. Gronk mad. Gronk is crazy party animal, like party so much he use beer keg for wash bodyyyyyy. Gronk say no eat TIE PODS, but sometimes he no resist, due to TIE PODS is colorful like candyyyyy. TIDE POD yucky though, Gronk just eat to look cool. Despite Gronk now hated in hometown of Buffalo, New York due to angry GRONK SMASH on Tre White, he still more likeable by light years than dummy ex-teammate Aaron Hernandez, who was angry gangster go kill people. Gronk one of few people who no get CTE from play football, but BORN with CTE, along with Cam Skattebo. Therefore being born with CTE, Gronk always nuts, but awesome. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote for your favorite ORIGINAL articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop God-fearing American anniversaries![[Insert clever alt text here]](/wiki/File:Insertpicturehere.png) February 1: [Insert Holiday Here]
|
Today's TRUE Wørd[edit | edit source]Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. Stealing is sin. Unbiased News for the American Patriot
 Too bad you can't customize this in the original.
Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day Recent deaths: Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas
Hey, America, did you know...
Say, Patriot, do you care...[edit | edit source]
| |||||||
New acts of bravery
| ||||||||
Heroes of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
| ||||||||
For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional video.
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.