Today's featured article (new every day)
|
|
Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
- ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
 - ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
- ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
- ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
|
|
In the news
|
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
|
On this day...
|
March 31: Condom Appreciation Day
- 4000 BC - Babylonians create the first wooden condoms (Pictured), resulting in much fewer unexpected pregnancies and many, many, many more splinter-related injuries.
- 1865 - The modern condom is introduced, consisting of sheep stomach lining coated with sulfuric acid. It is quixotically not well received.
- 1939 - With the invention of latex, the modern modern condom is introduced, single handedly ending the Great Depression.
- 1961 - Condoms are mentioned on television for the first time, in an episode of The Flintstones entitled Put It Back In.
- 1970 - National No-Condom decade kicks off at Studio 69 in New York City.
- 2009 - The Pope claims that condoms increase the number of people with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, in a similar manner to how exercise is unhealthy and cheeseburgers eat people.
|
|
