List of British comedians

“Comedy? What's that?”

~ Oscar Wilde on British comedians

This is a list of comedians of British birth, famous mainly in Britain, or famous mainly not in Britain, or not famous in Britain, or not famous anywhere, or not even funny.

Many of the comedy panel-game regulars and sitcom actors may not be regarded as comedians by some people but they are included here because this page uses the word "comedian" in its broadest possible sense - that is, not "funny haha" but rather "funny peculiar".

Fictional comedians are not included unless confirmed to be real.

Comedians include the following categories:

Impersonators

Duke of Edinburgh, always ready with a witty remark and cheerful smile

• The Duke of Edinburgh: Spits regularly on (Spitting Images) and on "those bloody annoying peasants". Famous for his wacky impersonations of a human being.
• "Queen Maggie" Thatcher: Renowned for her hilarious impersonations of The Queen, including her satirical "We are a grandmother" remark - misintepreted by the British Press as Maggie thinking she was Helen Mirren.
• The Queen: Has impersonated a number of famous people and recently won an Academy Award for her impersonation of Helen Mirren in the film "The Actress".

Musical comedians

• Rolf Harris: "Don't Mention the Wobble Board", "Jake the Physically Disabled"
• Barbra Streisand: "Jewish Jokes" - although not strictly British or Jewish, Streisand was knighted in 2003 as "Dame Barbs of Bronx and Anglesea" and admitted to the British Club as "One of Us".

Radio comedians

• Alistair Cook (1802–2002): "The I'm Almost Dead Show", "Letter from America"

Satirists

• Boris Johnson: Satirical role in "Johnny and The Undead" (as the Undead)
• Sir Digby Jones: British satire "Right and Honourable" (2001); Economic satire "Laughing All the Way to the Bank" (2009)
• “Stormin” Norman Tebbitt: Previously a member of the ‘Carry On’ team, remembered for his hilarious signature line, "On yer bike"

Comedy panel game regulars

"Up the Parliament!" Yes, it's that hilarious team headed by Gordon Brown (leading from the rear, smoking the pipe)

A popular family entertainment over the decades has been the BBC1 radio programme Carry On Up The Parliament. At present that zany team includes:

• Gordon Brown: Also appears on: "Call My Huff"
• Alistair Darling: Also in "The Lord High Chancellor of the Exchequer's Half-hour"
• David Cameron: Occasional apearance in "The Mary Whitehouse Experience"
• Nicholas Clegg: A panellist also on "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Fucking Clue"
• Ann Widdecombe: Routinely haunts "Vampires are Fun" and "I Don't Give a Shit"

Film

• Richard Attenborough: "Gandhi: The Slumdog Millionnaire"

• Alfred Hitchcock: "39 of Those Things That Go Up"; "Doesn't Everything Look Tiny From Up Here?"

• Ronald Reagan: Mr. Bean. Whilst not 'Strictly British' but was posthumourously knighted (Garter and Suspenders) in 1987 by Margaret Thatcher for Services to Comedy.

Sitcom comedians

• Mervin King: Popular for his rendition of the Gilbert and Sullivan song, "I am the very model of a Bank of England Governor", Developed the TV sitcom role of "Mr. Bean-Counter"

Stand-up comedians

"What am I doing here? Slumming it! Geddit? No, really.. " His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales enjoys some banter with local peasants.

• Charlie Windsor: "As I was saying to Camilla, no really, this is hilarious..."

• Paul Dacre (Resident Comedian of The Daily Mail): "Next election I'm voting Socialist Alliance, ha, no really..."

• Constable Plod: "Hullo, hullo, what's all this then? Let's have your name, laddy. Whassat? Noddy? You tryin to be funny? Only comedian around 'ere is me. Lessee if my nightstick up your arse is comical! Here's bit o' a biff for you!"

(Sorry, that last bit should have been edited out, this is a completely fictional character and bears no resemblance to any officer of the police force whatsoever. - Superintendant Plod, no dammit, Brierly-Smithers, Special Masonic Investigation Force)

Comedy double acts

Blair & Mandy: "Ahh Pete, you'd never believe what I saw when I was walking into the parliament tonight."

• Blair & Mandy: “Alas Pete and Tone” (1999-2003), a daily half-hour skit on BBC2-TV; “Lord of the Flies” (2008); “International Disaster Man” (2007-).

• Bush & Cheney (not strictly British but famous in the UK for their hilarious routine "British poodles")

• Maurie & Charlie Saatchie (with side-kick Doris): Sketches included the BBC2 weekly programme “The Itchy and Saatchie Show”; Comic routines included "YBAs" (You Beaut Aussies), a send-up of famous Australian artists such as Barry ‘Bazza’ Mackenzie; Also constructed the comedy playhouse, “The Millennium Dome”. Later Maurie and Charlie sold off their variety act, "M&C Saatchie and Doris also", and after eating Doris they formed "The Satan Brothers".

The edgy humour of Currie & Major, performed regularly in parliamentary broom closets to select audiences

• Currie & Major: This pair broke away from the ‘Carry-On Team’ to develop a sadomasochistic cabaret “Edwina and Johnnie” (1991-93) which was well-patronised and featured the ‘Bad Ass Girl’ skit with Edwina in a brief leather cowboy outfit ‘riding’ Johnnie dressed as an ass; “Curried Eggs” and “Knitting Up a Storm” (1987/88); “The Grey Man” (1993-94), “The Invisible Man” (1995-). Both regularly appeared on “Spitting Images.”

Raconteurs and noted after dinner speakers

Never invite a raconteur to dinner!

These are not comedians at all. In fact, there is nothing closer to "anti-humour" than a raconteur (French: "one who huffs a raccoon").These unfortunate individuals - along with so-called bloody after-dinner speakers - should be immediately attacked if seen in public, or reported to your local police station where they will be invited to make a speech at the annual Policeman's Dinner and shot if not funny.

See also

• British Humour