User:The Woodburninator/Archive3

Uhh, Candygram?

Someone mentioned something about some page that needed something putting on it. I think this might be it, so I'm putting some drivel on it. I believe such is the standard process. I shall now take my leave. --UU - natter 19:10, Jun 4

Drivleing? On MY talk page? How dare you! You watch yourself Mr. <sneer> Under User </sneer>. I'll take take this matter so far over your head, you will have to look up a moderate degree. GOOD DAY SIR! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:24, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Violation

Score: +1 rapes that are still staying and you can't do a damn thing to stop it

The above rape violates WP:OR, WP:RULES, WP:BEANS, WP:JIMBO, and WP:IGNORE ALL RULES!!!  RULE MAGNET! <03:17, 13 June 2009 (UTC)>

I'm striking out this comment because it I talked with Mordillo and UU and Modus about it, and they said that if someone tries to use WP:BEANS on my talk page, I should call the police to have them arrested. I'm sorry if I shouldn't do this, but it's what Mordillo said. Sorry If I can't. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:26, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

thanks

Thanks for taking care of that vandalism on Miss Manners. Also, you have a kind of timer at the bottom of your page that shows how long you've been here. I tried cutting and pasting, but haven't got it to work on my site. Any suggestions? --Clemens177 03:40, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

No problem with the vandalism. Happens all the time. The timer isn't hard. Mine is this: {{User:Tom mayfair/User Time|year=2008|month=6|day=10}} Just go to your "my contributions" tab, find out what day you made your first edit, and insert the right year, month, and day where it says to... Ahhh, screw it. I'll do it for you. Alright, looks like your first edit was April 28, 2009. Just copy and paste this onto your userpage: {{User:Tom mayfair/User Time|year=2009|month=4|day=28}} Hope that helps. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:53, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, buddy! --Clemens177 20:56, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

No problem. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:12, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Zen Rfanklib

Just delete Zen Rfanklib already. It's clear you guys don't want it around anymore. 24.231.171.131 20:26, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh, are you that guy who keeps blanking it? Whatever, I have no deletion power so you're coming to the wrong guy to tell you no. I'm sure one of the admins would be pleased to tell you no too. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:33, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Blessings

Woody!

YOU ARE LOVED! And in appreciation for your donation to The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association I am sending a sign of my personal love for you — your very own polyester prayer handkerchief, suitable for wiping the tears of joyous revelation. ~ B. G.

Cheers, --T. (talk) 14:03, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Something free from Billy Graham?! I must have done something he really liked. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:06, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Yes! Absolutely. And it's got nothing to do with the fact that he's dumping old merchandise that was manufactured in China using lead and melamine and writing it off as a corporate loss. ^_^ --T. (talk) 14:21, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Sorry? I didn't catch that over the sound of my ears bleeding. Did you say Jesus saves, or something like that? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:22, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

hehe, I'm a weirdo

Some moron made me an admin at this wiki, and hasn't edited it since July 2008, so I made a few... changes. Please write some random shit there, and let me ban you.   Le Cejak • <17:01 Jun 24, 2009>

Someone made you an admin somewhere? I'd watch out for an influuuux of vandals if I were you... --UU - natter 18:37, Jun 24

A very large influx of vandals even. The President of Iran WOODY! DeathLife? to the infidels! Go USA? 18:51, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Review this!

WOODBURNINATOR, IF YOU DON'T REVIEW MY ARTICLE, I AM GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU. JUST DO IT. IF FOR NO OTHER REASON, THAN FOR UNDER USER'S SAKE! THINK OF CHRONARION! |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill | 10:00, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

So, and please take this as constructive criticism (I'll trying not to be an ass), when asking for pee reviews, or asking anyone for anything at all, it's better to just try and be nice about it. I know that we are trying to be funny on here, but when you are asking for help, I would stop worrying about being funny. I think your sense of humor in these situations can come off as more degrading than funny. Like, if you came to me, and said "Hey Woody, I have this article on Pee Review that I want reviewed. It's been up there for a while, so do you think you could help me out with that?" I would definitely have given you a hand. Don't pretend to threaten me when you are asking for something. It doesn't really come across as funny. You don't have to try and come across as funny all the time. I've seen some of your sojourns onto Uncyclopedia:RadicalX's Corner. It seems that people aren't really being helpful towards you. I find that the people on this site are normally very helpful. I don't think many people are appreciating your attitude in some of these situations. So, my advice to you, is chill out for a moment, read over everything you write before you post it, make sure you sound polite when asking for help, and just be a little nicer to everyone. If not, I have a feeling that you have more than one admin watching what you are doing, so please change your ways in these situations. Just a bit of friendly advice. Take it, please. Oh, and like I said, ask politely and with some civility next time, and I will review an article for you. This time, however, I will not. The President of Iran WOODY! DeathLife? to the infidels! Go USA? 15:57, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

You sent the following message to Cajek that says this:

CAJEK, IF YOU TELL ANYONE ELSE ABOUT YOUR SUSPICIONS, I AM GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU. DON'T DO IT. IF FOR NO OTHER REASON, THAN FOR YOUR MOTHER'S SAKE! THINK OF YOUR MOTHER! The President of Iran WOODY! DeathLife? to the infidels! Go USA? 21:48, 26 June 2009

Now that makes a mockery of civility. Any questions? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill | 04:39, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Questions, no. But, perhaps I can explain to you that Cajek and I know each other fairly well. We can understand when each other are joking, and that the message I left on his userpage was part of a series of long-running jokes between us. As far as I know, this is the first time I have talked to you, Joe, so excuse me for not understanding any joke you might come up with. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:07, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Reqeust- Nicer this time

Woodburninator, can you PLEASE review this article?: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Joe9320/Rouge the Bat. Thanks. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill | 04:43, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

But you were still rude to me again in the message above this. No. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:08, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm trying to be nice, and you just walked away!

Hey Woody, I have this article on Pee Review that I want reviewed. It's been up there for a while, so do you think you could help me out with that? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill | 00:51, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

I HAVE A REQUEST, CHUMHEAD

YOU MISSPELLED "PRESIDENT" AND "INFIDELS" IN YOUR SIG YOU GIANT IRANIAN ASSHOOOOOLE   Le Cejak • <1:06 Jul 01, 2009>

I HUMBLY REQUEST THAT YOU CORRECT THOSE TWO ERRORS, SINCERELY BAN CA-MAGNET   Le Cejak • <1:07 Jul 01, 2009>

AFTER A WEEK, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING MY DIRECTIONS! HERE ARE SOME NEW ONES: CRADLE MY BALLS. THAT'S RIGHT, I WENT THERE.   Le Cejak • <0:49 Jul 08, 2009>

File:Ballcradle.jpg. Is that all? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 01:27, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD FOR AN IRANIAN. NOW, GIVE 'EM EACH A LITTLE SQUEEZE. (And put that picture somewhere on my userpage, if you're not too busy hiding votes!)   Le Cejak • <2:40 Jul 08, 2009>

Ta!

I, Orian57, extend my grattitude for (of?) your vote on WotM! No but seriously, guys. Thanks, it means something to me, more than it should probably.

Also what teh fuck is that new picture? your head isn't attatched to your body - are you dead! Don't be dead!    Orian57    Talk   11:54 1 July 2009

So, what?

Anything I say now you agree with me? ~ 14:41, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

Pretty much. Unless I otherwise bother to actually voice my opinion on a subject, you now have two votes on everything. Use my powers wisely. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:47, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

Can I call you minime?! ~ 21:06, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

That depends. Do you look anything like that beautiful man in the picture above, holding up the head of that ugly guy? I would hope, as your midget-clone, we would look somewhat similar. (Yes, I am orange)

On an unrelated note, do you agree with this? I made it after some people were saying bad things about some beautiful, beautiful redlinks. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:34, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

Agree with the concept, but what are you planning to do with the template? ~ 14:08, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Absolutely nothing. I made it as a cathartic way to get out my annoyance. It will probably just hang out in my userspace, gathering dust for the rest of time. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:19, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Then you get two dusty thumbs up from moi! ~ 15:24, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Hea Woody...

Just passing, but careful when listing redirects on QVFD. Do em using {{redirect}}, e.g. {{redirect|Stupid page}}. I almost deleted some of your mainspace stuff there! :P MrN 19:07, Jul 6

Oh, sorry. I actually know that, I just didn't think any of those links were redirects. My bad. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:33, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

Hey, I heard what you said about that thing with spam articles and QVD.

Anyway, here's a new article I made:A letter about Megan Fox. Tell me if it's funny.--Bad Shroom 22:07, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I do think it's pretty funny right now. I like the character you've created for the article. Just try and remember to always put a space after all periods. (I went in and formatted it. I hope you don't mind.) You should definitely keep up with that one. Tell me when it's a little further along, and I'll take another look at it. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 22:14, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the encouragement.I'll go add to it right now.Have a cookie.--Bad Shroom 22:16, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

Can you unprotect the forum that you just responded in? MrN9000 protected it because he thought it should be "preserved".--Bad Shroom 20:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

Twas a joke. Woody's not an admin, my penis is 9" long, and the page is not protected now. One of the previous statements was a lie. Also Shroom, talk to me next time I do something you don't like. Thanks. MrN 20:32, Jul 15

.....I'm guessing that the lie was "Twas a joke." I'm pretty sure Forums are serious business. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:37, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

Fantasy Football

Would you be interested? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:29, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Said yes before I even got the message. Fantastic idea. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 00:48, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

UnAnswer

Dear Mr Woodburninator,

After reading your essay, in which you raise many valid points, I feel that I have maybe been taking Uncyclopedia Articles too seriously and I am consequently manipulating the direction of the site in an unhealthy direction. Although I have to agree with your essay, I must also point out the risk of everyone taking your advice. I understand that these articles can be funny, I mentioned in my vote that I found the article in question funny but they can only be funny if the rules aren't constantly broken because if they are, then we make ourselves a new set of rules and new expectations and every article ends up about three lines long. I have to admit that some of my favourite articles are not conventional and in fact use awesome amounts of imagination and sometimes in a very short area.

Anyway, I have decided to change my vote to an abstain, rather than an against. Although I won't be directly supporting the article I can definitely say it's better than adding to it's demise.

I shall bookmark your essay in an attempt to remind myself that being serious can often be fatal to intornets.

--Sir Sunbeam no u F@H KUN 15:59, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Draft

It's going on now. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:43, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

League Info

League ID: 322847

Password: wilde

League URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/322847

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:45, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

0_o

Yes. I know its expressing vanity, but I keep it up for a reason. —Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 15:55, 23 July 2009

Its really not a good reason. (its for safekeeping) —Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 16:06, 23 July 2009

Thanks

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildy

---

You're up!

You got two choices now, and Big Ben is still available. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 18:17,25July,2009

Just to let you know...

UN:REQ is now on the sidebar. :) I also nominated {{reqaward}} at Uncyclopedia:Vote for awards, decorations and honours. The current template is just an example and I'm hoping to get some general feedback. Guildensternenstein seemed interested in the idea. If you have any suggestions, especially for images, I'd appreciate it. MadMax 18:08, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

By the way, I've also been talking to User:Pentium5dot1 about UN:REQ improvements. He said he'd probably be busy this summer but that he'll try to help out when he can. He was talking about making some interesting improvements to {{search}}... MadMax 18:12, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

I messed around with it a little bit. It looks nice, just a little bland. Does this look ok? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:33, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

{{Reqaward}}

Wow that's a lot better! I wasn't really sure between using a userbox or a fullsize template. Thanks. :) MadMax 19:45, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

Well, I think we should still get Zombiebaron or someone to take a look at it. I'm not the best at doing templates myself. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:58, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

I left at note at ZB's talk page. MadMax 21:12, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

Well according to ZB it looks like its ok to make it an "official" award. Apparently since I'm an Admin I kind of have a little extra leeway in this area. ;-) He did suggest changing up the image but I guess we can make cosmetic changes as we go. I was thinking of awarding the first one to User:Gerrycheevers who is the earliest user, at least that I remember, to create an article from the page. Along with being one of my favorite articles, Red Baron later went on to become a featured article and UN:REQ's first success story if you think about it. MadMax 01:47, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Your turn

Because SOMEONE forgot to tell you.--<<>> 18:21, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Whoa, sorry. I was busy doing writing things. Might be a while before I get to it. Work is calling. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:24, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Damn.--<<>> 18:26, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Actually, that only took me, like, 4 minutes. Gotta love work. *goes to look at depth chart* Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:31, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Hooray! I recommend Barry Sanders and James Lofton. Of course, I also recommend you don't take my recommendations, as they're 20 years old.--<<>> 18:34, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Bo Jackson is always the way to go. I don't even need to know which sport we are picking for. I'll choose Bo Jackson every time. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:55, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Believe it or not, Hershel Walker actually had him beat in bobsledding. Everything else, though, you're right.--<<>> 19:08, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Walker also had him beat for the title of "Most times being traded for 11 players when you've already begun to decline." Actually, he's killing pretty much everyone in that category. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:14, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Britannia shall have her revenge

You Treasonous wretches will pay! -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 16:23, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that terrorists never win.... Unless they're American. And you aren't an American. So you can't win. Ha! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:52, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Yo dude

Check out VFH! I know you want to! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:02, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Dude.

Dude, thanks so much for the nomination at WotM. Dude! I'm giddy. Thanks so much! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 00:17, Aug 6

My pleasure. You deserve it. In fact, I can't realize why you haven't been awarded WotM yet anyway. Regardless, you're welcome. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 00:23, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Dude, c'mon.

That was sorta messd up what you did at Uncyclopedia:Ban Patrol. I never did you harm (non-sexual speaking), did I? —Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 04:15, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

No, but it looked to me like you were ban-dodging again. I put you on there because of that, (and the part of getting rid of you was due to the alleged cyber-bullying). I saw the note you left on MrN's page. Let him decide what's up. I have no issue with you as long as you aren't cyber bullying. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 04:22, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Draft

It's your turn.--<<>> 00:03, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Hi, a request

I suck at using GIMP and photoshop and all of that shit. I can, however, write a pretty decent article. Hence, my latest article lyre, which is well-written, but the pictures are lame and bland because they have not been touched. I would love to submit this article for FA status on just the written content alone, but unfortunately that won't cut it. I noticed that you are very creative when it comes to image manipulation. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind fiddling with some of those images to make the article better. Any help at all would be enormously appreciated. Thanks!--PericlesofAthens 16:19, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Update, I just added a couple of funny pictures to the article. Now that I think of it, I would rather that you touch only the pics for the China and Greece sections; please, don't touch the Jack Bauer one. It's already perfect!--PericlesofAthens 16:58, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, but I will probably be on a lot less than I have been lately with my school year starting soon, so I don't think I have time for much image manipulation right now (although, I will take your request as a compliment.), but you can take this over to Uncyclopedia:RadicalX's Corner. It's our little image request area. Sorry I can't be more of a help. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 01:38, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

RE: tl;dr

Just kidding. I read it. I just have no idea what you're talking about. Don't take it personally. I usually have no idea what anybody on this website is ever talking about in regards to anything. --EMC ^[TALK] 19:02, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Then I could just talk nonsense to you, and get away with it? Hmmm......

Also, my point is this: I hate you all. Suck it, douche bags. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:04, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Draft

Your turn! Hurray! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:52, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Congrats on your nominations and I have a question

Congrats on Nominated Uncyclopedian of the Month and Nominated Writer of the Month.

Because of the above, you can probably answer my question. What's up with peeps, such as you, getting banned for a number of seconds? I'm guessing this is some sort of Uncyclopedia joke. I'm still used to Wikipedia, which takes bans VERY SERIOUSLY. Miley Spears - the n00b with the world's cutest tongue 02:21, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

I'll take the liberty of answering that, because I'm awesome and can do that. As a general rule, if you don't seriously screw up and you end up banned, it's probably a joke. Whenever an established user is banned, it's usually a joke. The admins actually take some amount of pleasure in banning each other, and there's a rather infamous user on the site with the dubious honor of having been banned over forty times. To summarize: yes. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:29, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Pretty much what Boomer said. Under user generally bans other people using nonsensical statements instead of a period of time. Hell, take a look at Cajek's userpage. I think he has well over 200 bans, but the guy is one of the most beloved writers around here. Most of the time an admin will let you know if you're doing something wrong before they ban you anyway, so you at least have some warning. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:54, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks—the remake

Thank you for supporting! Sir MacMania GUN—[21:14 16 Aug 2009]

Rally round the family, pocket full of shells!

Yo can you link me to whatever USP we're working on ATM? -- hopeless Ape (exemplify) (Riot Porn) 18:05, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/13-08-09 Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:19, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Q: Will we ever write 18th Century?

A: Nah, we suck. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:35, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh man. I completely forgot about that. But, given that I've been getting bored around here lately, that sounds like a wonderful thing to start up on. Keep me busy. Although, I warn you, with school starting in a week, I can only promise, like 3 or 4 days of good work on that. Past that, I won't be around nearly as much. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:04, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

AFX Time

--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 17:47, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Draft

You're up. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:28, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Mr. Irrelevant

Last pick! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:47, 20 August 2009 (UTC) Can I milk this one? Could be a real joy making this take a while. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:02, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

I'd really rather you didn't, and making an out-of-the-blue pick for no reason (like, say, Charlie Batch (Pit - QB)) would be funnier than taking forever. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:16, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

The unsignpost

it's hilarious ...oh, and tell the other guy too. ...and cradle my balls again.   Le Cejak • <23:41 Aug 20, 2009>

Draft Done

I've put players on their teams, so we're officially go on Yahoo!. Go to your team to edit your starting roster etc. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:24, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost

I took the liberty of adding my story to the UnSignpost. Thought I'd let you know, as you seem to be the only one editing it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:46, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildy

---

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:57, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

VANDALISM!

I only just now found it--page history says you left it there in, like, July. Man I suck. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:46, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

'Sincere Thanks'

Thank you very much for helping to make me August 2009's Writer of the Month.

This is hands down one of the best moments I've had on Uncyclopedia. And you helped make it possible. Thank you.

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~}

---

Thanks so much for the nom. It was a total surprise for me and made my week.

Here, have a cookie.

Necropaxx has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 23:48, Sep 3

Fallout 3

Is fucking amazing! It was frustruting untill I figured out teh arrow thing, and the glitched achievement was a tad annoying but after those teething problems it's awsome. I've actually completed the main quests already but it's still just amazing. That is all.    Orian57    Talk   02:41 4 September 2009

Dude, FO3 is one of my favorite games ever. Before coming to college/getting Madden 10, it was basically all I played. Fucking sick. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:44, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

... ...Sick? When the hell yo from dawg!? The fucking nineties or somethin man, that shit is whack!    Orian57    Talk   01:12 16 September 2009

It's actually more of a colloquialism between me and some of my friends--we're fully aware no one else says it nowadays. Sometimes it slips out into other places. But yeah. Fallout 3 is really good. Also, if you haven't already, buy Broken Steal, because it's worth every penny. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:39, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Oh I've completed teh quest line for Broken Steal and The Pitt, I'm currently downloading the other three DLCs, my internet has been slow though so it's taken most of the day just to download operation achorage. I just whent and moved teh hub around a bit and that actually seems to have made a difference, already 56% downloaded Point Lookout.    Orian57    Talk   14:54 16 September 2009

Damn! I've only bought Broken Steal thusfar, and I'm not even done with that yet, mostly because I haven't played it about a month, and mostly because I do all the side quests and get all the bobbleheads and extras and Easter eggs first. I'm a level 23 and haven't even gone to Little Lamplight for the main quest yet. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:41, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Attention Colonizers!

The brief era of peace we've been enjoying has once again been shattered by the IP horde. And since those pot smoking, tree hugging liberal faggots repealed the draft the IC forces are stuck with the likes of you. You are therefore ordered to report to the front lines at once for briefing. Once we have decided our plan of attack, we'll march into battle post haste. You're dismissed The Woodburninator. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:31, 11 Sep

UnSignpost, n'stuff

I wrote a story, so if you can pull together another one and fill those boxes out, we should be good to go for last week's issue. Hurray! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:43, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Well, normally I would jump on this sort of thing, but I am taking an extended break right now to work on school, among other stuff. But, what you're asking for it isn't a hard thing to do. I place my full 100% trust in your abilities to pull it off yourself. Good luck soldier. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 06:38, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Gotcha. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:38, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Okay, you mangy colonists.

I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:55, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

You sir

With the burning hat? When are you doing to write something? We need some of the old Woody magic? ~ 21:05, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

My college semester is finally over, which means I actually have time to now! Sort of. Also, looking for a job and planning a move, so there's still that. Plus one more semester of college, but regardless. I'll have you know I already rewrote the mediocre-but-still-better-than-what-we-previosly-had Martin Luther King Jr. (and might fix it up more), and am now trying to write UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure:One Ordinary Day, though it is taking me a while. The plan is for a fairly large number of pages. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:10, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

I can die happy then. /me shoots one in the head ~ 21:16, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Does anybody else remember when they used to use that as the final punchline for Loony Tunes cartoons? Then sometime someone got all PC and edited those endings out and I haven't seen it since. :sadpanda: -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:07, 19 Dec

Have I mentioned

That I love you? -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:07, 19 Dec

Not nearly enough anymore. Keep this up, and I might just think about leaving you. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 01:42, December 20, 2009 (UTC)

Why?

Why did you do a review on an article that I had already reviewed? Pup

I didn't like your review, that's all. It looked like you didn't like/didn't think Colin spent enough time on his article, so you didn't put all that much effort into your review. I understand that, since his article was fairly short/random. I don't care, really, and my purpose was not to offend you, but I thought he deserved a bit of a longer review, so I did one. Hope you aren't too upset about this. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:38, December 20, 2009 (UTC)

Okay. The choice to put near to no effort in the review was deliberate. The only reaason it's not vfd is that it is user space. I think there is merit in concept, but otherwise it has no redeeming value. Putting it up for review chokes the queue and the brevity of the review reflected that. Pup

I figured you felt that way. I just felt differently, so I did my own. No worries. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:48, December 20, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, wow. You guys took that seriously? I just put it up there for shits and giggles. Also: If that last bit in that sentence comes up as a redlink, I think I've found inspiration for a new article. sausage lol 21:52, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Happy New Month

Thanks For Buying Our Book! Me and Elmo take bodily functions seriously and If you enjoyed Menstruation: A Guide For Men, be sure to check out these other books in our series: Why Is There Blood In My Toilet? BOOGER! (With Oscar The Grouch)

Thanks for your continued support!--    21:50, December 31, 2009 (UTC)

UotM thanks

'Sincere Thanks'

Thank you very much for helping to make me December 2009's Uncyclopedian of the Month.

In the words of the immortal Sally Field, "You like me, you really like me!"

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~}

---

Idea for UN:REQ?

Left a message at Pentium5dot1's talk page in case you're interested? MadMax 06:49, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, you voted for my article on VFH and helped make it a feature.

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

And I'm too lazy to make a proper template for it. Thanks! sausage lol 18:59, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

THEN..............

Maybe Bormann has a copy of the Qur'an!--    15:49, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Kwick Kwestion

Hey, you voted against my recent feature saying you "just don't find it funny enough yet." Even though it's already been featured, what specifically do you mean by that, and what could I add to fix it? Thanks!--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 00:32, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Personal opinion. For me, the concept was SOOO good. I just thought the rest of the writing wasn't quite up to the concept that you came up with. I didn't laugh enough for it either. But others obviously disagreed with me, and it got featured, so congrats on that. Anything that gets featured is obviously pretty good. As to what I give you to make it better, I'm not sure if I am funny enough/have enough time to help. Sorry I can't give you more feedback right now. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:02, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, thanks anyway!--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 21:24, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

ATTENTION COLONIZER

Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!

EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!

For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:44, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you!!

Thank you!!

I stand here before you, arms outstretched and butterflies exploding from my zipper, in thanks for supporting me for Uncyclopedia:Writer of the Year.

Throughout 2009, many people had stupid ideas, and many of those people wrote those stupid ideas down, but apparently you agreed that no one thought of so many idiotic things, nor humiliated himself on such a regular basis, as I.

You pity me! You really pity me!

May 2010 be an even worse year for us all!

---

ATTENTION COLONIZERS: WE ARE RECREATING CREATIONISM

The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 05:25, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Passing on the baton

I've got to pass on the Unc of the Month baton to you. Congrats! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:05, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Don't forget

To cup the balls. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:42, 23 Mar

VFS

For your vote in VFS and as promised last time You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination. Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice. Rabbi Techno

oh yeah

i saw you kinda supported me on VFS last month...thanks! it was one of the big reasons i decided to come back and waste some more time around here. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 23:01, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

If that's the case, I couldn't be happier to have nommed you. Honestly, if you hadn't disappeared for a few months, my guess is you would have been promoted to Admin too (UU seemed to agree with me). Overall, I think you came out on top. I hear being an admin makes you smell funny. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 05:04, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

yes, i've noticed UU smells decidedly of burning haggis of late...perhaps that's the smell of oppression... SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 09:37, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Nope, it's a sign my cooking's getting better. --UU - natter 14:38, Apr 5

<3

Always wonderful to be nommed! nohomonohomonohomo • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 06:03, Apr 7 2010

no homo no homo - are you trying to say something there? Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 06:12, Apr 7 2010 UTC

It's an ancient Maori chant to ward off evil spirits. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 06:19, Apr 7 2010

Namely, Orian, HELPME, and possibly you. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 06:25, Apr 7 2010

Oh, he is definitely ghey. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 06:30, Apr 7 2010 UTC

I thought you double-used the <insert name here> template, but you actually mentioned me! Yay?--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 01:55, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

So.... When did I nom you for something? I'm so confused.... Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:20, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

Almost forgot you

Join this thingy and help make the place more interesting in its incoherence. Research, invention, actual writing - whatever you like to do, it's all welcome. -- Style  Guide 08:47, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Shoaib Malik

You may have heard that Sania Mirza is getting married. I thought you might get a kick out of this. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  20:47, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Skype

Can you get on Skype? You got a mic and all that jazz? I wanna hear your song. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:10, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Redskins Runningbacks

I remember last year at around this time you were complaining about the Redskins' management and how consistently terrible it is. Watching Chris Cooley talking about the Skins' plethora of washed up running backs (Portis, Larry Johnson, and Willie Parker? And (maybe) Brian Westbrook? What the fuck.) and the disgruntledness of Albert Haynesworth just now on NFL.com made me remember that. Just thought you'd like to know. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:04, June 4, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah.... Yeah.... I'm running out of bad expectations for them. The Orioles on the other hand.... You can NEVER think of bad enough expectations for them. *sigh* Sometimes, I hate sports. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 05:36, June 4, 2010 (UTC)

Fantasy Football 2010

It's back! Go here. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:43, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

UnAnswers and UnNews: together may they prosper

Hey! I answer stupid questions with stupid answers on that stupid UnAnswers wiki you hang out at. You owe me, putz! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:22, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I've seen you around Zim. I think you even answered one of MY questions. But an influx of good, funny people at that site would be very good for it. Actually an influx of good, funny writers for this site would be good us too...

Regardless, I can't really stand most of the "questions" that are asked over there. Most of them are just something like, "Grapes?" which doesn't really lead into many funny responses. I don't know if anyone else is annoyed by it, but I kind of am. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 02:00, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

It certainly isn't my favorite wiki, but I've had a bit of fun there. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:23, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I don't mean to sound like a pooper. The place isn't awful by any means. I'm just complaining this week. Ignore me. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:35, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

I've been trying to ognore you, but I can't. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:48, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

VFS

Is it seriously happening tomorrow, or were you just kidding? Saberwolf116 02:38, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

Haha, no it's not happening tomorrow. If it does happen, it would be around the first of the month when the admins vote on it, and like the 5th or something when everyone else is allowed to nominate people. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:57, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

Contest today, August 2nd (U.S. time) or 3rd (civilized world time)

(Come and play!) Happymonkey called for a writing contest which will start at 2:00 UTC (10 p.m. eastern time in the United States and other weird countries). Contestents will give each other an exact name of an article at app. 9:59 eastern time, and then we will write until 11:15 (3:15 UTC). We need at least one judge who will look at all the articles, say nay, or yay, or something, and tell us whatever they want to. Please sign up on Happymonkeys talk page, as participant or judge(s), and then we can pair people up around 9:30 eastern and let them know who they will give their page title to. (Inspired by DrSkullthumper's contest of a month or so ago). Aleister 16:05 2 8

Draft

You're up, I had to autopick for killyou. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:19, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Pick #2 for Woody is ready to go!--    20:32, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

So is pick #3! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:05, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Round #4 sir! --    21:01, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

Round #6 Woodmaster! --    09:42, August 15, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

I am eternally grateful! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:31, 10 August 2010

You're Up

Your turn in the Draft. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:17, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

Also, after you make your pick in the next round, message me on my talkpage, as I'll have four consecutive picks to make, including my own, due to Cheddar's absence. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:20, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

I meant after your pick in round 6, as after that it's Iwillkillyou, Cheddar, Joe, myself, then Gerry (which is actually five consecutive picks I should be making, not four), so yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:15, August 15, 2010 (UTC)

To everything turn, turn, turn (which, by the way, it's yours).--<<>> 11:18, August 15, 2010 (UTC)

Your turn. Pickings are slim, except for kickers. (Pickings are slim, but kickings aren't! Ahahaha...haha...ha...ugh.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:12, August 16, 2010 (UTC)

You're up again, I had to autopick for DrStrange. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:57, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

I made the league

It's on Yahoo!. Here are some important things to know:

• League ID: 512953
• Custom League URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/uncyclopedia_2010
• Password: guildy

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:38, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

Joyeux Noel

Thanks for voting for Evan Almighty! Hopefully you'll enjoy this free* existing** copy of Al Franken's Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations audiobook.

--Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 14:43, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

You're Up Again

Also, make your team in the Yahoo! league I set up. Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:13, August 21, 2010 (UTC)

It's that drafty time again!--    21:58, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

And Again

Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:18, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

And And Again

Uh Huh --    01:16, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

And And Again Again

Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:10, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

rhyming with agape

no man shall set a boundary to the march of a nation -Charles Stewart Parnell

no man shall set his hounds on me for arch-infatuation - Mymansion Wilde(Oscars's smarter brother)

So you don't like the R word that rhymes with cape ! well here it is anyway

==================RELANDSCAPE=================

⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 05:05, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

I have no idea who you are. But I like it. Nice to meet you. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:47, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Since nobody bothered to tell you...

It's your turn. We're within sight of the Finnish line! Go!--<<>> 11:30, August 30, 2010 (UTC)

And now for your kicker. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:25, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks

Thank you for the great belated birthday present! (Yes, August is my IRL birthday, I just hit the big 4-0.) Here, have some cake.

-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:19, September 1, 2010 (UTC)