User:Mattsnow/Talk page archive 2

FACT ALERT: This user is wanted dead or alive. Preferably, dead. Please. -New World Order

What this user has been barking in April and May 2011

KEVILLIPS!

I added some names on the list that are already here (blue links) I have one hell of an idea for an article (don't add it to the redlink list, I'll start writing it soon; Leslie Nielson.) Count me in bro, if I think of some other comedians, I'll add them to the list. I think it would be cool to put it in alphabetical order, as it could get complicated as more names are added. And I guess I'll have to use a red hot crowbar as torture device for you then! XD Mattsnow 20:56, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

Forget the alphabetical order thing, I just did it. Mattsnow 21:20, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

I'd do Carrot Top if I didn't hate his guts and am just as lazy. Aleister 21:43 2-6-'11

LOL, I don't know Carrot Top, but I sure know about your legendary laziness :P Mattsnow 21:46, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

There is already a Carrot Top page, but not a very good one. On your guys magic list is there a section for suggested rewrites? Now I must go nap. Aleister 21:50

Note to self:

I figured there could be some kind of notation - maybe put a copy of the blue link in the red link section with a note to rewrite. I envision the blue links to be on the portal, and the red links to be on some sort of requested article list. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:56, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

Eerrr, do you want to rewrite them all, or I can do that with only those that suck? Mattsnow 21:59, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

It would be nice if they were all reviewed and if the person thinks it needs a rewrite maybe slap an ICU template on it? This is kind of a two or three pronged project - organizing what we have and filling in gaps of what we don't and cleaning up what we have. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 22:18, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

• Portal:Comedy very rough still wip with embedded unmade templates and left over TV stuff Getting better Launched! --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:43, June 3, 2011 (UTC)
• Medium list without the wip portal (moved again) --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:43, June 3, 2011 (UTC)
• --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 14:24, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

There already is a page on Leslie Nielsen. I was sad when he died. He was one of the funniest actors ever. Airplane is my favourite movie of all time. Speaking of Airplane, is there an article on that? -- >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 00:56, 3 June 2011

I was too. His roles in Naked Gun, Scary Movie and all were so amazing. That's a cool project Kevillips has there, I'll help. Mattsnow 01:27, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

Superhero may have been a bit boring. Nielsen made it funny with his deadpan. Like there's a funeral scene and he thinks he's fucking his deceased wife, but he's fucking the wrong dead woman. Then he comes out and says to the other dead woman's husband, "you had such a beatiful wife". And there's no article on Airplane? Surely you can't be serious! -- >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 01:30, 3 June 2011

Please don't call him Shirley. Aleister 3:14 3-6-'11

“Ever seen a grown man naked?”

~ The captain

--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:17, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

And this is the coolest thing about Airplane!. It was a spork! I forget the movie's name, but I saw it a few months ago, and the film is sporked almost scene for scene from this 1950's film. Had me almost rolling on the floor (I've only fallen on the floor lol once, and that was while watching another film I can't remember the name of). Aleister 3:21

“I can't stand it anymore! I gotta get out of here! I gotta get out of here!”

~ Panicy lady

-- >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 03:27, 3 June 2011

I think that's also an exact line from the movie I'm talking about. And it wasn't a comedy, it was supposed to be a drama. Airplane! was a spork! Aleister 3:29

p.s. Here it is, a 1957 film Zero Hour!

It's a spoof of the film Zero Hour. It's also a spoof of the Airport films. -- >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 03:38, 3 June 2011

Exactly, but on youtube there are scene by scene comparisons, and it is practically the same script. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 18:21, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

Same thing with Police Academy and the Naked Gun. -- >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 18:31, 3 June 2011

Heya

How are you holding up man?-- -> That's Poop Man Poop 18:04, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

I'm good, I go fishing a lot these days. We took our quota today. On vacation. Online, I am helping Kevillips with the Comedy Portal project (see conversation above) If you want to help, that would be awesome! It's great you are here on Uncy, you are motivated, it shows! (Kicking back with a beer) I'll drink one for ya! Mattsnow 00:39, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

As I was saying, the fishing is good here, check out today's fishing, I shot this in my sink before we slaughtered the fish (arranged them) Mattsnow 01:03, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah I saw the comedy portal thingy. I am looking into it and it sounds pretty cool. But haven't yet got back to writing stuff. Will try to contribute as soon as I put on my writing shoes. Nice fish man.You know what they say, gut em and eat em, then beat em. -- -> That's Poop Man Poop 08:32, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

And yeah, my birthday's on the sixth. Normally, telling people about your birthday is just not cool, but i figured how will you know you know. when's yours?-- -> That's Poop Man Poop 09:47, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

In October. Happy birthday in advance! You're turning 64? Mattsnow 01:37, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

64? Are you fucking kidding me? Now that's random. No I don't feel comfortable discussing me age sorry. Ask Zombiebaron he might be able to guess.-- -> That's Poop Man Poop 11:03, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

Beatles song "When I'm 64" --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 11:14, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

ICUs

Don't be using them on articles more than a week old. Use a {{rewrite}} on those fellas instead. Thank ya! -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 00:40, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

I may have said "icu" my bad. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:44, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

OK, I got that, TKF. (opens a beer) Mattsnow 00:46, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

Dave Chappelle

Dude you slapped a rewrite on Froggy;s rewrite of David Chappelle. How do you think he noticed your icus. LOL, before you go to fix it, Jack already done did. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:15, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

I done good? (talk) 01:18, 4 June 2011

I thought he huffed the ICUs then was too lazy to change it to rewrite.. Fawk, I guess he put his at the bottom. Mattsnow 01:28, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

What we have here is a failure to communicate. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 01:30, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

Yep, and unfortunately I don't even know how to go on IRC yet. True. Don't laugh. I'm a n00b alright. Mattsnow 01:36, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

I am too drunk to pSS JUDGEMENTpass judgement

• version you slapped rewrite on
• version you had put ICU on
• Number of edits between tewo - One Million

LOL --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:40, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

LOL! Are you sure there was a change? Nah, it was too subtle, that is why I didn't notice it XD. Just rewrite after the rewrite. (No!!) I'm gonna work a bit on the George Carlin article, I am declaring it for the sake of good communication. Continue to make your O so insignificant edits on Dave Chappelle. Mattsnow 01:52, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

Racist!!--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 02:14, June 4, 2011 (UTC)lol

footnotes

sobriety edit

LOL! I was a bit wasted too. Great job on the Chappelle article! I really like that guy. Mattsnow 02:50, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

100% Portal People

<insert name here>, I put together a behind the scenes access panel to make it easier to get to parts of the portal the real guts of the projects are all on subpages and the "portal" is mostly a skeleton. User:Kevillips/Comedy:portal-parts--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 17:07, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

Great! For now I am concentrating on the rewrite of George Carlin, slowly but surely. Mattsnow 02:13, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

A Joke Or Two?

Hi, I'd like to know if you could write a joke or two on the Lupus article. I know it's on VFD and you argued that there were no jokes. (I counted three jokes but that could be an exaggeration on my part.) Part of the reason I snubbed it was the possible dearth of punchlines (or 'zingers'). --Stilicho 18:40, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

Boyfriend

That's a nice concept you've instigated there. Good show, old bean. Matfen and I have knocked out a second section which seems pretty good too. I reckon we should lose the ATM joke though, it's a bit cheap and doesn't really fit with the tone. We might be able to rework it as a prose-based joke later on, what do you think? --Black Flamingo 20:14, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

Hahaha! I just read the artcle, it is great! Grandad is one hell of a bastard. I totally agree the ATM joke was too easy, I was also kinda worried the beginning was a bit out of topic, I'm glad you could advance with what I wrote, if I add nonsense, feel free to huff, I'm gonna add some when something good happens between my ears, which is, sadly, rare. :) Mattsnow 22:41, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

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June 9th, 2011 • Issue 124 • The only periodical that remains aerodynamic at high speeds!

It's serious business By Chief To celebrate the creation of a new ignorable policy, the UnSignpost is covering all the srs biz that has taken place on Uncyclopedia this week. Once again, Lyrithya and her unending quest to "improve" the wiki takes the top story; not content with replacing the potato logo originally created by Rcmurphy, she has created a forum (yes another one) in which she displays the new logos she has created, all wonderful and three dimensional. Dr. Skullthumper appears to have been so entranced by the the shadowing on these new logos that he is currently proposing that we allow Lyrithya to do whatever she wants, then we can only assume it will begin to rain marshmallows and then Jesus will return so that he may bless the new logos in person. Everyone loves the new logos except for Lollipop, whose home-grown logo offerings have been snubbed... one of these days he will probably buy a gun and then kill every single one of us. The Ministry of Love has a new topic on it. This is news in its own right, but it would be just plain lazy for us not to tell you what it was. In other news, Sycamore has called for all Real Nigga's to report to the Village Dump. Sycamore, who was born and raised in West Philadelphia, was unable to justify this course of action as he had one little fight and has been forced to go and live with his Aunt and Uncle in Bel Air. The UnSignpost is sure that hilarity is certain to ensue and predicts that Sycamore may well be writing horrendously bad rap music in as little as three years time. Finally it seems that the in-fighting, backstabbing and constant evil that emanates from all the current admins (with the possible exception of Modusoperandi) has not discouraged users from wanting to be just like them. The UnSignpost wonders why anybody would ever aspire to be part of a group that not only has Olipro in it but also boasts a whole one and a half women and she is maladjusted. The crippling deficiencies of Uncyclopedia's admin group haven't stopped Joe9320 from asking to be one; on being asked why he wants to be an admin, he cited no reason at all. He just does and, apparently, so should you. Also, Magic man wanted to be in the UnSignpost this week, so he is. VFS/B By Chief When Uncyclopedians aren't looking at depraved Horse porn or voting on articles referencing Horse porn, they are to be found gazing in wonder at VFS to see just what those barmy administrators have come up with next. Well, sort of. Currently VFS is not given over to the process of sandwich voting, but to a vote on whether to hold nominations for a preliminary round of voting for the people to administer the results of further voting, but only if there has been a vote first. In short, the admins are deciding whether or not to have some more bureaucrats. Since all of you have read Jimbo Wales fantastic works: "The Pricing of Index Options When the Underlying Assets All Follow a Lognormal Diffusion" and "Me and my ample piles. Of Money" you all know the ins and outs of the role, but we will remind you anyway. Bureaucrats give out user rights; if Uncyclopedia was a city the users would be the citizens, the vandals would be the criminals, the administrators would be the Police and Bureaucrats would be the people who send Police officers annoying notes about filling in forms and the importance of chilling their packed lunches. Currently the vote is plus four in favour so it looks like voting on sandwiches will be suspended for another month, a tragedy which two months ago seemed a very remote possibility. We would urge you to vote but you all know the form by now, just remember that Bureaucrats tend to go... missing. We sat down with absentee Bureaucrat and hilarious moustache owner Mhaille to get his opinion of the vote: "If you master the 5 D's no amount of balls on Earth can hit you" Mhaille responded before beating our reporter savagely with a sack of wrenches, so there is some definite food for thought there. Cross your legs folks, it looks like there will be another vote coming to your computer screens very soon.

Check out these pages! Piffle! Wiffle! Wibble! Pibble! Piffle Wiffle! From our logs: 20:33, June 5, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.180.53.111 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (You may fire when ready..... /robot voice/ commence primary ignition...... WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH) 02:04, June 3, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) resurrected #59221 ‎ (HOW COME NO ONE EVER UNCHECKS THIS BOX ANYMORE) 02:05, June 3, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (because you havent been banned yet somehow. i hope this happens RIGHT AS YOU PRESS THE SUBMIT EDIT BUTTON) 02:06, June 7, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Sickmyduck1 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ ([insert joke here about lacking penis size]) 11:20, June 7, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 194.80.21.164 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You seem to be unable to recognise that the repeated deletion of your articles means they're crap and we don't want them. Perhaps this ban will help?) 11:29, June 4, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.208.51.136 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (BUY SOME SPAM!! CUT PRICE SPAM! LEARN HOW WEIRDO MAKES NO MONEY AND LOSES HIS FRIENDS FROM HOME!!! BEST OFFAR EVAR!) 21:47, June 3, 2011 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 201.229.215.186 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (EminemEminemEminemEminem) Biopic of the Week Well, nobody was looking forward to being biopiced in the UnSignpost than Lollipop. Lollipop came to Uncyclopedia in 2010 under the guise of Maniac Mcpee, whose very first article was deleted. Lollipop reacted as all of us would have done and created a hate page to explain just how much he hated the offending administrator; this page was then taken, completely rewritten and went on to become a featured article. Lollipop has not shut up about it since. As much of a blessing as a curse, Lollipop has hurricaned his way around the wiki, alternately thrilling and irritating administrators and users alike, but do you know what makes us want to biopic him? It's not the cash he gave us, though that certainly greased the wheel, no, it's his enthusiasm; you just can't demoralise him. Every time you turn around he's there being derided on a talk page or forum and then the next day he's back with something else. He just won't quit! So well done, Lollipop, you're the guy we all love to hate to love. Thought for the week On Uncyclopedia at a glance why do we have a stat for "Pictures of boobies" but not one for "Pictures of Cake"? Think about it (That's sort of the point) Newsroom UnTune of the week Still Alive (Bin Laden 2011 Cover)

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:13, June 9, 2011 (UTC)

Collab

Any ideas for a Canadian collab? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:09, 12 June 2011

Guys I had an idea for an article that is kind of in-universe and out there. But how about UnAmerica It could be mainly about Canada not being the United States. It could touch on the McCarthy era House Unamerican Activities committee, but in stead of them looking for communists, they could be looking for Canadians masquerading as Americans. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:14, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

LOL, I posted exactly the same thin on your TP with some suggestions, Loli. Where are you from, Kevillips? Are you from the glorious motherland known as Canada? Mattsnow 21:21, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

“Shut up you American! You always talk and you talk and you always say, "let me tell you something", :I just wanna say this". Well you're dead now!”

~ Grim Reaper from Monty Python's the Meaning of Life on Americans

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:20, 12 June 2011

Stop edit conflicting me! You are from the US, I guess! Which State? Mattsnow 21:22, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, and i've relegated it to two ideas. A TV station (eg. CTV, TSN, Global, CityTV, CP24, SUN-TV, Rogers SportsNet, etc.) or a city. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:24, 12 June 2011

Minnesota

As I have mentioned before. My city of birth is further north on the globe than Toronto and Guelph. My dad lives on a lake that borders Ontario, north of Lake Superior. Last winter I violated your territory on foot, after I drove a snowmobile to the shore. Currently I am in Kentucky, but will be relocating back there this summer sometime. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:33, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

I was in Kentucky once. Saw some hicks. Went to a Cracker Barrel. Had some clam chowder. Tasty. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:35, 12 June 2011

Tourists always seem to go to the Cracker barrel. We do trot out the hicks on the weekend. Gotta give ther people what they want. During the off-season, we all wear tuxedos and tiaras.--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:40, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

No Cracker Barrels in Canada. We do have a restraunt called Montana's which is a Cowboy themed restraunt. Montana's is famous for their ribs. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:44, 12 June 2011

It's a shame I didn't have my hunting rifle when you trespassed lol. Do you like fishing? (I am on vacation and I've been doing that for 2 weeks! I hear Minnesota is a great state for nature lovers. (But it will never beat mosquito infested Canada!) Mattsnow 22:09, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

Ever gone to Muskoka? It's nice there. My family has a cottage up there. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 22:12, 12 June 2011

No, I went to Toronto and Ottawa. Do you fish? Mattsnow 22:14, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I fish. Usually rent a boat and fish for trout. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 22:17, 12 June 2011

Northern Minnesota is pretty much like western Ontario, seeing as how they are adjacent. As I said my dad lives across from Quetico Park in Ontario near the US Boundary Waters canoe area wilderness and my mom owns nearly an entire lake, chock full of fish, Crappies, Bass and Pike, and 3/4 of the shoreline. It's the old family homestead from my great grandparent's day. So I am not short of convenient fishing opportunities when I am up there. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 23:08, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

That's great! I am coming back from 10 hours of fishing, it really is the right time here, we caught 7 pounds! Ok, back to serious business (editing). After all, internet is serious business. Do you think it would be a good idea to check articles for the comedy portal and rewrite them MILDLY. No one-week thing like I did with the George Carlin one (I love Carlin). Like one-hour retouch, max. Mattsnow 23:33, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

It can't hurt to check them. But I think using a lens with fuzzy focus is best at first, so we can focus on the glaringly sucky ones. I get bored fishing unless they are really biting. I used to bring books, now depending on where I am, 3G is an option, or a really long cord. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:56, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

Well where I fish, you would not get bored! I will check the blue links on the portal and spend some time on small edits and formatting in the following days. I'm with you, K lips. Mattsnow 01:03, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

I usually bring a battery powered radio. Can't risk bringing an iPod or iPhone along. Trust me, I lost a nano that way. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:11, 13 June 2011

?

How about you...you heard about the thing? --ShabiDOO 15:28, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

The big rocky guy from the Fantastic Four?--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 15:39, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

Pretty awsome dude...but this is bigger than that. --ShabiDOO 16:01, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

What thing? Lance Armstrong morphing in the Incredible Hulk? Mattsnow 01:06, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

Doping in sporks

Hi, I must exchange money for pleasure, the way of the world. Aside from that, I just voted for your moping on storks page, had thought I'd voted for that already when I categorized the pictures. Nice pictures. Barry Bonds-like pictures. The coping with pork page is really good, congrats and dayglow paint to you! Aleister 17:07 13-6-'11

Congrats on the feature

I was one of the first to vote for it. Good job. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:06, 13 June 2011

Thanks to you Lollipop and Aleister. I also want to thank my millions and millions of fans worldwide and my dog! Mattsnow 01:26, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

Re:Pee Review

I don't know. I'm sort of biased when it comes to reviewing my articles, but maby next time I'll do that if I make another article.

--Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 00:38, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

I think he meant reviewing other people's articles. That's how the exchange works - others review yours and you review others'. Not necessarily the same others, but in general, mind. 1234 ~ 08:57, 14 June 2011

Days of hour lives

Hellollllooollo. Things seem to be going well with you, even with Rand Paul knocking on your door. I've got a great Alex Jones bit on my user page, he opened up the can of worms yesterday and squished around in it. Two whoring whores: I've done some work on the "Anaconda Plan" that's on VFD, and Lyrithya, who put it up for a vote, has switched her vote (iz went back to the original page and then worked on it from there). Could you take another look? Thanks. I'll work on it some more too, add another section or two. And since I'm here, have you read Chicago Seven, on VFH right now? If so, I'd like your thoughts, criticisms, and hatemail. If not, wow, are you in for a treat!!! It's your lucky day!!! I wish I hadn't read it yet, then I could read it too!!! Woo hoo!!!Aleister 18:55 15-6-'11

Thanks for the VFD thing on, I forget the name of the page. Anaconda plan, yeah. In seriousness and deep thought, have you read my "Chicago Seven" page. I would like your thoughts on it, it seems you are becoming one of the members whose opinions people value, which is a shame for you. They will bother you like this all the time. That is a hell of a thing to have to carry around. Aleister 21:35 16-6-'11

OK, you got me by my feelings lol, I'll read it tonight and give you feedback! :) Mattsnow 21:38, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, and thanks for the vote. Please dig deep into it, like a pizza'pie. I know the length was of question (have you seen Romartus' pages!!! Everything he's ever touched should be featured, imnho) and I discuss that on Guildy's page. The sex-while-stoned story actually is true as to how the national guard acted from the roof and came up with the excuse to break up the faithful rally, and this article is, I believe, the first time this will be in "the literature" (but no one will believe it, since we are uncy!!). Your vote is worth a thousand pictures. Aleister 23:32 16-6-'11

I'll dig deeper into it, I'm trying to come up with an article about the assholes that rioted in Vancouver over their hockey team loss at present. The govt could announce martial law: no problem, but a hockey team doesn't win a shiny piece of metal: RIOT! I didn't mean tyour article was too long "byte-wise", I meant there are one or 2 passages that feel "long" because there aren't much jokes in them. And it's cool to see that Mimo will have a feature! As for me, features don't mean as much to me now, I like laughing at what I write or what I read. I reread your article on Kucinich's wife yesterday lol. Did you know he passed a bill to stop the war in Libya yesterday? Mattsnow 00:15, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

No, it actually passed? Good, do those hockey rioters proud (or were you against them? If you can't riot over a hockey game then what can you riot about?). Ah, if you can point out those sections I'll funny them up, thanks. Yes, Mimo!!!!! And thanks extremely much about the Dennis wife lol, knowing people still read it is better than a feature. On the Vancouver page, go, girl, I'll look forward to seeing it when it's done. Aleister 00:47 17-6-'11

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Just like Grandma used to make!

June 16th, 2011 • Issue 125 • Adopt a mad Bear today... please, they're closing in.

CURSE YOU! By Chief It's time for the mid-month, mid-week, midnight round-up of Uncyclopedia, named this week for the mutual love and admiration currently flying back and forth on the Village Dump. The big news this week is that VFC has opened for voting, with almost every active administrator being nominated along with <insert name here>. After a whole day of voting, Zombiebaron has taken a commanding lead, racking up 14 votes, with Thekillerfroggy and Modusoperandi sitting in second and third. Our correspondent described the scenes on the page as "Sickening" as the leaders compete to see who can be the most dashing chap and concede victory to his fellows in the noblest manner possible. The UnSignpost was able to talk to Zombiebaron about the race: "Zombiebaron," he stated confidently on being asked whom he thought would prevail; on being asked who he would like to see stripped naked, smeared with Jam and fed to killer ants, he responded "Zombiebaron," and when pressed as to why he conceded that the matter was indeed "Zombiebaron". Moving on from the sickening gayery taking place on VFC, the village dump brings us the conflict and hatred that made Uncyclopedia as doomed as it is today. First PuppyOnTheRadio suggested that admins should not protect forum pages while discussion was taking place, in return the administrative body suggested that PuppyOnTheRadio should probably put some clothes on before going outside. Elsewhere on the dump, Dr. Skullthumper is doing his best to keep himself in pointless busy-work by proposing that we recategorise everything into a set of new categories within a new namespace which in turn will be within a new namespace. The practical upshot being that Dr. Skullthumper has a reason to haul himself out of bed every morning, a truly noble goal; this entire wiki having being founded around a very similar aim. Finally it seems that the Worst 100 Reflections on 2011 list has ground to a halt and has become Roman Dog Bird's very own personal playground and, as amusing as it is to watch him make entries about his bowel movements, his friends bowel movements, and bumsex, there aren't that many reflections on 2011. Since we passed the halfway point of the year a few weeks ago it was with some dismay that we discovered that we are still 66 reflections away from completing the task before the annual Cabal broadcast at the end of the year. This is a large crisis. Everybody should spend at least 10 minutes of the coming week running frantically around their house panicking about the impending crisis and the consequences of such a large crisis. Someone should also add new reflections to the list, but not before completing the requisite ten minutes of panic. Skully's formspring declared "national pastime of Uncyclopedia" By Dr. Skullthumper In a bizarre twist of social networking, local user Dr. Skullthumper has created an account on the popular website formspring.me. Almost immediately the famed Uncyclopedia administrator was bombarded with questions about his sexuality, his sister, and propositions of considerable indecency. So amusing were his answers that for several hours wiki contributors ceased editing altogether to think up more clever questions to ask him. "I was looking for a place to gloat about my ban," says Equivamp, a self-proclaimed sufferer of Erectile Dysfunction. "But I was too scared to come on IRC. That's where all the rapes happen. Luckily I found one of the dozens of links to this guy's formspring that everyone's been talking about. Finally, a place to insult Uncyclopedia safely!" But even such a positive story as this brings humanity's dark side to light once more. Kip the Dip has revealed himself to be one of the most prejudiced users in Uncyclopedian history, believing the entire website to be constructed for his people alone. Several anonymous users have taken to slandering the almighty goddess Lyrithya, who continues to shower us with holy goods such as proper bloody code and images that don't look like they were shat out of MS Paint. And as for Skully, the sheer amount of time he has spent answering questions has forced him to forgo sleep for several nights in a row now. Despite these setbacks, Skully says he will "continue to do what must be done", and "hurrrrrrrrrrrrrghCOFFEE".

Check out these pages! Useful! Confusing! Modusoperandi! Ratings! From our logs: 05:38, June 15, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Meepsheep made this account to upload goatse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Clever! Verrrry clever. And foolish! Now you're at my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my NOTHING) 04:39, June 13, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.236.184.66 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (If you like graffiti so much why don't you buy some spraypaint and draw a giant cock on your front door) 08:41, June 14, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (The cabal wishes it: It does honest, I was at the last meeting and we talked about this while the tea was going round) 18:28, June 11, 2011 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.158.24.53 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (we are a humour site, we are not concerned with the truth) 01:18, June 13, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 99.68.16.64 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (I know what you dream about at night.) 20:57, June 14, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.208.56.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (uuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh) Biopic of the Week As the UnSignpost staff gathered in the Theatre of Dreams next to the local Bingo hall, it came to our attention that the biopic has been doing rather well recently. It has actually covered actual users who are actually editing the wiki or who have actually edited the wiki at some point in the past. In fact we decided that we had done such a good job that the biopic this week would be all about what a splendid job we made of the biopics for the last few weeks. I mean, there you all were reading the UnSignpost and pairing your socks when BLAM! There was the biopic and it fed you when you had no food, it clothed you when you were wearing parachute pants and it didn't judge you the same way everyone else does. The biopics from the last few weeks have contained less than two grams of saturated fat and cost you nothing, in fact they gave you the gift of laughter which, according to intellectuals, is the greatest gift of all; frankly you ought to be paying us. This biopic even comes with a picture of a traffic cone! It's so stripy and orange and stuff... By the power of Greyskull! You shall not best me Skeletor! So there. Newsroom UnTune of the week Ur So Phat and you don't even like food

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

:)

Im glad I didn't watch the game last night. It started at 2am where I am and even my closest friends were not going to stay up to watch a game they don't understand until 5 in the morning. :) Were you going for Vancouver or Boston?!?! --ShabiDOO 16:26, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

For Boston, Vancouver is too far away! They eliminated the Canadiens first but they showed a lot of heart! The Vancouver people are really sore losers with the riot thing. Well, it happened when the Canadiens won the Stanley Cup, I guess we are not better. You must be in Europe then and your friends don't understand the game lol. Mattsnow 20:47, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

Oyi

Awesome picture man, the NoTM one. Haha I can't stop looking at it and laughing. -- -> That's Poop Man Poop 15:06, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

Well I'm here (at least I think I am in the right place)...

Yep I'm pretty well known for being loud. And I guess writing is my forté, although I have had many different other lives besides that... I'm also into music in a big way. Not just goth (although I admit that is what I prefer). Yeh things like formatting. Generally I look at other stuff on here and see how they did it by clicking on edit. There are a whole load of other things that I'd like to know however; like how to include tables, charts and other types of stats.

Also I'd like to fix my sig, yep. Not entirely sure how to pimp it how I want it however...

D-Void 04:32, June 18, 2011 (UTC)

First thing first, you managed to make it here. Mattsnow 04:36, June 18, 2011 (UTC)

Yo man!

You might not get in Heaven like I said but you will have some virtual tits and beer as a reward for voting for my article. Enjoy. --Mimo&maxus 09:35, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

)

Noobs

Are you still here? Amazing. Nice work with Mimo's feature on VFH, and talking of, I didn't even know Welcome Party for Noobs was nommed. Can't find it's VFH archive page anywhere, a black hole may have opened up. How did it do, any votes at all? There were lots of format errors on it, and probably on the VFH version, so I've tweeked it as well as adding that mascot pic which hasn't shown up on any main page yet. Noobs! And that thing about your great hockey unnews not showing up on the main page was one of the oddest things I've seen here. An' they be many a odd ting a'romin' her'bouts fer sur'. Aleister 12:43 19-6-'11

It did pretty poorly, I remember voting against it. It didn't last a day I'm afraid. It may be cool to have a link to it on the welcome message, but I guess people just didn't see it on the front page! Mattsnow 16:31, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

No wonder I missed it. The thing was out of format when it was on VFH too. Maybe it was so bad that it didn't get archived, I'll search for it, thanks. I remember playing with it with Zana Dark. Did you meet Zana before the death-ban? Aleister 19:30 19-6-'11

I always used to called myself the male Zana Dark. Then she went around putting useless templates and not signing her posts. Stupid, stupid, stupid. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:44, 19 June 2011

This user page has been vandalized.

I wasn't that stupid was I?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

No I didn't meet her. Lollipop, you consider yourself the female Zana Dark? LOL Mattsnow 03:48, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

MALE Zana Dark. Zana Dark was female. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 03:53, 21 June 2011

I consider myself the Eunuch Zana Dark, as I am a eunuch. The only one in my city, as far as I've been able to find out. Aleister 11:17 21-6-'11

My iguana Jett calls himself the Iguana Zana Dark, but I reminded him he dosen't have an Uncyclopedia account. He wants one. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:40, 21 June 2011

With my portal work, I am kind of a Andro Zana Noir too. She did a lot of the portal backbones/ --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:43, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

More writers needed

I've been asking people to help rewrite this page but we still need more. Want to add some? --Black Flamingo 13:18, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

Ban Patrol 101

Admins don't like it when you report IP's with one edit generally. -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:14, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

It really depends on the edit, but generally, yes. Apple? 1234 ~ 09:38, 20 June 2011

Apple pie in the morning! Mattsnow 09:52, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Can I get an apple too?-- -> That's Poop Man Poop 12:45, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Hey

I think this is a msterpiece man. Good job.-- -> That's Poop Man Poop 16:29, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks bro, this shit really did happen lol Mattsnow 03:44, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, and helicopters

I hold no responsibility for any dicks blown off by your sheer awesomeness for voting for this. --Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 07:27, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

I wrote an article!

Omg aren't I just amazing for deciding to write an articles finally. Anyway after everything Ive done for you, could you be a good fellow and review this for me? -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 08:14, June 22, 2011 (UTC)

It was about time! lol, I am addicted myself, I'll review it in the next couple of days. Mattsnow 18:01, June 22, 2011 (UTC)

Catch it. Kill it. Bin it. It's the UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

May contain traces of humor!

June 23rd, 2011 • Issue 126 • The only periodical that will burn your house down... with lemons!

Experimental Vectors By Chief This week Uncyclopedia stands on the brink of a momentous decision, a decision that will shape the future of the wiki and possibly society as we know it. Also, Lyrithya is proposing that we introduce the Vector skin as the default skin for the whole wiki. As is the custom on our planet a vote is currently happening in a forum, which isn't really news as everything around here is eventually resolved in that way. The vote currently stands at eleven votes in favour, with the people voting for praising Vector's enticing indentation and stylings and the against voters complaining that Vector isn't compatible with Windows 95 and doesn't display properly when loaded on a monitor last used to observe the 1969 Moon Landings. For voter and skin fetishist Ljlego launched a staunch defence of Vector, saying, "I hated Vector when I first saw it on Wikipedia," while against voter and Republican Aleister in Chains has complained that the skin doesn't work when he loads it on his ZX Spectrum; he has also found the real problem with the skin, namely, "Those huge tabs at the top, they look ridiculous. " Shabidoo, meanwhile, has decided to abstain, having been unable to make up his mind; his uncertainty about the new skin springs from a belief that, "This skin is much better than the last one." What a weirdo. The UnSignpost staff has switched to Vector and report that they have, on several occasions, found money in the street on the way home; who in their right mind would refuse to switch now? Vector does have several deficiencies which are, of course, all Lyrithya's fault. The much loved and coveted things to do page has disappeared from the sidebar, meaning that unless you search for it, you cannot find it. Incidentally, Science proves that searching for articles in the search box causes Cancer in 75% of everyone who does it. There are no other problems, except that the toolbox is set to be closed as default, Pee review is now below the facebook page link (this makes it appear less important), it doesn't make sandwiches, the edit button is on the wrong side, to watch pages I click a star (this is blatant Zionism), when I click the search box I type in a box inside the search box, and there is no link to the UnSignpost on the sidebar. If you have yet to try out the Vector skin go to your preferences page; you know you are there when the box with your optional real name in it appears. Click the gadgets tab and then select 'experimental Vector skin' from the list. Enjoy. Incidentally my real name is Archer, Leader of the Gorgonites. Fails QA By Him yet again Now while the UnSignpost staff are currently contemplating a weekly box devoted to Dr. Skullthumper's latest fad for Uncyclopedia, we felt we absolutely had to cover his latest dalliance into saving us from the eternal fires to which we are so rightly condemned. QA is something you are no doubt familiar with; for those of you who aren't here is how to find out. The new revelation is the QA log; this is a splendid log for those of you who love to sit and stare at recent changes. Now you can stare at recent changes and the QA log. It basically catches people sneakily removing maintenance tags from articles in order that they may be punished for their anarchic tendencies. Dr. Skullthumper has said all of the above in forum, but that's what the UnSignpost is for - we read the forums and write a brief summary with more jokes and less whining. The aforementioned Physician would like feedback from users on how his new device works, so in short he would like you to go to his forum and tell him just how splendid it is that he has taken time out from his splendid schedule of splendid masturbation to splendidly improve this splendid site. Some of our readers have written to us to tell us what they think about this new tool: "Zombiebaron," said an anonymous letter. "Who is this?" asked RabbiTechno after phoning our hotline. "Please rush me my portable Walrus polishing kit. 4 Super brushes guaranteed to clean even the trickiest of sea-bound mammals." read a coupon sent to us by Under user. "Wow. Now that is VERY useful." read an email from MrN9000, titled "Re:The purpose of toilets" and "Help me. I'm trapped in a post office." wrote Mordillo, who hasn't been seen since March. The QA log is live and watching all of you at this very moment and reminds you that thoughtcrime does not entail death, thoughtcrime IS death.

Check out these pages! Ratings! Worst! AGAIN! METAL GEAR? METAL GEAR!!! From our logs: 01:08, June 19, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked WeStoppedTheRocket (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (i've heard (well, okay, seen i guess) it before! i don't wanna here (again, see) it again!) 12:49, June 19, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 132 seconds ‎ (you are my all-time favourite fascist dictator) 15:29, June 21, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.46.201.230 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Hell yeah! You showed that talk page. Hit it again! Keep it down!) 15:15, June 19, 2011 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (EVERYONE LOVES IT!) 00:08, June 18, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.8.195.146 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (My dog just died from your lack of humour. Murderer!) 22:39, June 20, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked What now, bitches? (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (cute) Biopic of the Week Uncyclopedia has a problem. Uncyclopedia has NoNamesLeft. Now having NoNamesLeft is not the huge tragedy that it may first appear. To have NoNamesLeft is to have NoMoreStupidity. Confucius say: He who have NoNamesLeft have most names of all. Of course NoNamesRemaining is not just a rather snappy saying , no it is also the Moniker for a complete lunatic who likes to edit Uncyclopedia, likely to the severe detriment of the other duties and responsibilities in his life. Having been on Uncyclopedia for two months, he has racked up over 2,000 edits and three featured articles, along with a whole set of other articles that have caused Aleister in Chains to fall unequivocally in love with him. If you fancy asking him just how he will pay the heating bill for next month you can visit his talk page. Don't hold your breath for a response though; he's probably far too busy. Things you already know weekly round-up Zombiebaron and Modusoperandi lead Thekillerfroggy in the final round of VFS, nobody writes UnTunes any more, <insert name here> is still great fun, more people need to vote on VFH, everyone secretly loves the Power Rangers, you will go blind if you keep doing that, Zombiebaron, Nachlader is occasionally funny, obeying orders without question is fun, the two columns are now similar lengths. Mission Accomplished. Newsroom UnTune of the week Oo Aa Iiee

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

You voted for visual puns, which got featured!

-- 01:06, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

Welcome to the Hall of Shame

Hi Matt. Well, you did it. So I added you to THE Hall of Shame. Well done!--Funnybony    15:28, Jun 26

My life's goal has been fulfilled! LOL, I didn't even know this existed. I read some of your articles and they are bood Funnybony, but I had to vote against the UnNews on VFH right how, it was juuuuusssst short. I should have abstained maybe. Anyway, looking forward to read your stuff! We should write some New World Order related articles. (I won't do like I did on the Bohemian Grove article, I actually like Alex Jones) Cheers! Mattsnow 19:06, June 26, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Matt,

Looks like you have another number for the Hall of Shame. When your next article is featured just visit the HOS page, on your entry just click your total number (now is 3) of FA articles) and then add your next FA, and increase the total number...that will move you above the 3s on the list. Rising Shame.

Here are some of my NWO articles:

• UnNews:FED Sues Uncyclopedia, Demands NWO Evidence Removed <---Find your self?

• United States of Earth
• Amero <---THIS ONE, PERHAPS, YOU COULD IMPROVE THE HUMOR. PROBLEM IS, IT’S NOT A VERY FUNNY SUBJECT – BEING REAL, AND ALL...

I’ll take a look at the Grove article, too. It's really important to make that awesome. Cheers!--Funnybony    08:09, Jun 27

Oh, I wanted to mention one thing about this place, quality is superior to quantity. When I first came I felt inclined to vote for long, boring, often unfunny articles, thinking there was more work put in. But then I saw some of the funniest articles were short - this, Suddenly, Raccoons, was a top 10 of last year. So here it is better to judge articles on humor, not length. Especially with UnNews. And keep rocking!!!--Funnybony    09:12, Jun 27

The Un-Sigh-npost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

June 30th, 2011 • Issue 127 • Kills 99.9% of bacteria.... IN SECONDS!!

Breasts By Chief You know what the problem is? You will shortly, because if there's something the UnSignpost does brilliantly, it is editorialise on matters of little or no significance to you or the people you know. The problem is the days of the week and the dates of the month are conspiring against the UnSignpost. As the UnSignpost team sat down on Sunday to play monopoly and, if there was time, lay out the foundations for this splendid periodical, some bright spark suggested that we cover the conclusion of VFS. What an excellent idea, we all agreed, and had completed an entire specialist 3D issue on that single topic, complete with free poster and balloons, when it was realised that we won't in fact know who has won until Thursday evening, by which time this periodical will have been dispatched and our team of journalists will once again be at home wanking themselves raw. So we binned that spectacular issue and persuaded our least able journalist to write the story instead; this was especially useful as we only have to pay him in hugs and Jelly Babies. So VFS trundles on into its final laborious stages; some of you may remember voting a long long time ago when it was still exciting and you checked the page every day to see how your favourite candidate was doing. Now the only people checking VFS every day are Thekillerfroggy and Zombiebaron, and only then because they are winning at the moment. Obviously all that is needed to recapture the attention of the average Uncyclopedian is a header proclaiming the existence of breasts and, of course, exclusive interviews with other Uncyclopedians! Regrettably only one of those is available right now and this being the UnSignpost you can probably guess which one. "Well I do have a plan," said Thekillerfroggy when we interviewed him about his tactics for being the winner. When pressed, he revealed that "Well I can't reveal too much but I can say that my plan involves being the winner." Clearly TKF is playing the long game, but how about Zombiebaron? "Zombiecrat!" replied Zombiebaron when we asked how he would counter TKF's ambitious strategy to be the winner, which roughly translated means that Zombiebaron plans to be the winner as well. Third placed candidate Modusoperandi is currently sticking to his usual duties: sticking the occasional template on Ban Patrol and posting on the forums where he is occasionally racist; the best and wisest man any of us have ever known. The other obvious problem here is that we don't have any particularly active Bureaucrats (thus why we are holding this vote) to give the newly elected users their rights on Friday morning. However this is a minor detail since the voting is the fun part of any VFS and you all enjoyed that... right? Forest Fire By Chief As we were saying last week, Dr. Skullthumper really needs a hobby, preferably one that involves very long compulsory breaks from his computer. However, undeterred by such scathing criticism, Dr. Skullthumper and Lyrithya have decided, in the name of quality, to reform the maintenance templates, leaving a queue of articles on the timestamped maintenance categories as long as the list of women that Dr. Skullthumper isn't sleeping with. When we arrived to question the good doctor, Lyrithya demonstrated her commitment to the project by immediately saying "It was Dr. Skullthumper's fault," which at least shows she is a team player. Of course Dr. Skullthumper is far too busy to answer our questions, especially when there are problems to be solved and edit counts to be raised, so he has proposed another forest fire week because if there's anything more fun than sorting through hundreds of articles, it's tagging hundreds of them with templates. For those of you who have never seen a forest fire week it is essentially a week (duh) where users are encouraged to tag crap articles with a tag that gives them 7 days to live. All splendid and wholesome; the only issue being that for reasons best known to himself, Dr. Skullthumper has posted this idea in BHOP, so you actually have to go there in order to read it, sorry. Of course such an idea assumes that tagging articles is fun and I'm sure you will agree it is, if you are doing it once or twice a day. Once the seven days are over you'll wish that there was no Uncyclopedia, no internet and ultimately no choice! So hurry over to cast your all-important votes, and speed us on our way to misery and clerkly drudgery!

Check out these pages! Modusoperandi Zombiebaron Uncyclopedia is the worst Why? The community cake is a lie Whatever this is From our logs: 07:33, June 28, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 217.206.228.109 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (Finally, a good old-fashioned page blanking, well done to you sir for defying convention so radically) 19:43, June 27, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked TheHelloGuy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (LulzSec attacking wiki security? Of course it's insecure, it's bloody MediaWiki!) 09:16, June 27, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 178.168.31.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (werespambotmanwolf) 03:20, June 26, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) ‎ (if i'm resurected does that mean that i'm a zombiezombiebaron?) 14:05, June 24, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 117.120.16.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (Ass-cheese is all very well at work, but you have to switch off sometime) 12:26, June 23, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 119.155.6.23 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I'm cleansing the internet of inferior lifeforms, starting with spambots.) Biopic of the Week There is no biopic this week. Try not to think about that too much. OMG! Cajek edited the wiki this week, see below. Cajek Ban-Smackdown of the Week 16:14, June 25, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 13 seconds ‎ (Hello. I don't believe I've blocked you before. ) 15:35, June 25, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 253 seconds ‎ (Editing the wiki without due care and attention) 02:58, June 25, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a poop ‎ (uuuuuunnnnnnnnngggggggghhhhhh *poop*) 01:17, June 25, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a flock of trouts ‎ (Because.) 00:11, June 25, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5000000 years ‎ (WHY HAVENT I DONE THIS YET) 22:37, June 24, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a jubilation ‎ (OH MY FUCKING SHIT IT IS CAJEK!!!!!!!!!) Newsroom UnTune of the week The Star and Eagle Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #6,425 Just to pop down to the shops for... porn.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

Bohemian Grove

Hiya Matt, congrats on further features. Boo Hoo Grove is really close. Making fun of Alex Jones is what most people do... so here we should make fun of those people by stating the obviously absurd, like I did in this line of recent UnNews, ...because the state apparatus and security forces are illegally under the control of Libya’s government, they also control the traffic cameras, and they refuse to hand the Tripoli footage over to our International court, - Haa, well, of course, the state apparatus and security forces are under the control of Libya’s government - who the fuck else? But we are bombing Libya as if there was no law there. It's totally insane. So by making fun of the absurdly obvious you can get the best out of Bohemian Grove, too. I'll go over it today and see if I can add more funny - just for fun.

In a second point I wanted to say - what I had on my mind - to tell you, anyway, what I was thinking to convey is about my meaning to say that I was thinking to point out about big articles. The number of jokes packed into an article determines how funny it is... not length. If it is a long article then you need many jokes. Anyway, you already know that, because I mentioned it before, what was on my mind about putting high percent of absurd into articles - is what I wanted to tell you, or something...ahh, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, we were talking about HowTo:Be absurdly funny and not just a content freak. You might like this. More soon.--Funnybony    08:19, Jul 2

Hi Matt, how about these option edit ideas - anything useful?

The "Creme of Care" erotic ritual at the Bohemian Grove in front of the New World Order's big bird, Moloch.

The Bohemian Grove is a secret closet-gay snob’s resort that means a lot of things to a very few people. For some envious wanna-be aficionados, such as reality theorist, Alex Jones, it is the "Wise Old Owl’s Club,” but for the very, very few insiders it is an upscale gentlemen witch’s den situated in the steamy jungles of Northern California. The Bohemian Grove club house, which is almost invisible, surrounded as it is by glowing neon “Beware of the Owl” signs and heavily armed FEMA guards, is only visited by elitist world leaders, counterfeiters, peeping toms, and soggy-biscuit loving demon worshipers, who all congregate there to plan our future and generally engage in occult rituals such as dressing like hobbits and roasting marshmallows over burning human effigies.

With secretive members who rank highest in the world's food chain, the Bohemian Grove has become a subject intentionally encouraging numerous speculations and stealth trespassing by the less intelligent commoners of the human race. For extreme reality theorists, especially those who suffer from acute inferiority complexes, such as Alex Jones, the Grove is the roof, nay, the temple spire, of all evil and madness that is barfing upon humanity. It is the very Portal to an Over world which is inhabited by owlish forces hell-bent on establishing a New World Order.

Bohemian Grove members only exist to help Moloch control unwanted population growth and establish a fascist autotrophia in which 99% of unlucky mankind (the vast minority) will be financially enslaved by the other 1% of lucky mankind (the tiny majority) through a globalist led “One World Government.” The "Grove" clearly represents the simple fact that 1% of the human race is much smarter than the remaining 99%. In this regard neither Uncyclopedia nor envious reality theorist, Alex Jones, are trying to insinuate anything, but, heads up! It's coming. Very soon.--Funnybony    12:54, Jul 2

Hahahaha!!! That' good! I'll keep that for when I finally stop being lazy and rewrtite it. Cheers! Mattsnow 02:31, July 4, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Matt, if you allow I can do a complete "option editing" of the entire article - then you can go finish it off. I'm also out of ideas on Unobtanium so ShabiDoo is editing it - then I'll finsh it off. Collabs can work pretty good like that and often produce great articles. I am also a fan of Alex and know this subject. You have already set up the entire article. Let me loose on it and you can be as lazy as you like and still get it featured. Whattya say, bro?--Funnybony    15:56, Jul 5

Go ahead bro, and have your way with it without worries: I'll archive it so we have the earlier version. Can't wait to see the result! Mattsnow 16:27, July 5, 2011 (UTC)

!!!

Hey Matt...I was just curious what are you going to do with all those leftover sheep? --ShabiDOO 16:08, July 5, 2011 (UTC)

We're gonna have them for dinner tonight, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, so on :D Mattsnow 16:27, July 5, 2011 (UTC)

Well thats boring :( --ShabiDOO 18:12, July 5, 2011 (UTC)

LOL, thanks for that nice forum on n00bs, I'll do my best to help future n00bs! That was appreciated! Mattsnow 01:45, July 6, 2011 (UTC)

Shabalabalabalaba doooobidobidobi shumulumu xjxjxjxjxjxjx! --ShabiDOO 17:27, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry

Hey, I was the guy who said I'd do your George Carlin Review. Sorry, but I forgot about 4th of July weekend and it's been, well, hectic. Anyways, I was pretty much done but it turns out someone finished it already, which is fine, since it was my fault I didn't do it on time. Anyways, sorry about that, and thanks for picking up the Falkland review. Much appreciated. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   01:11, July 6, 2011 (UTC)

LOL, no worries bro! I didn't report you to the cyberpolice! I'll finish the review tonight or tomorrow. Mattsnow 01:45, July 6, 2011 (UTC)

It's free and it always will be; it's the UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

July 7th, 2011 • Issue 128 • Why not have some Yoghurt?

The Final Solution By Chief The year is 2011, as you are obviously well aware, and Uncyclopedia once again faces a crisis that could very well shake the very foundations of the wiki and destroy the comedic soul of the userbase. Ha, fooled you, here is a story about a forum that nobody except Lyrithya has replied to. You all recall that last week we covered Dr. Skullthumper and his latest dalliance with quality control. Well, it seems that Sockpuppet of an unregistered user took exception to these changes, and he is determined to make a stand for justice, democracy and the American Belgian way, whichever way that may be. So you all know how we have too many articles, you should because you have all been told, and that all of these articles suck, however Socky contends that the way to solve this is not through shipping all the articles to Cajek's prison island but rather by considering each and every one in turn. A noble aim but it simply is not practical; does Socky not realise that these are necessary losses without which democracy cannot be purified? Clearly he does not. The UnSignpost decided not to have an interview with anyone this week as it involves all sorts of complex logistical work and what can be charitably described as begging but rather has elected to have people answer any question with a random line from their talk page that they have said; we aren't completely unprofessional. The first person we didn't sit down with was Socky himself, to inform him that we were running this story. "That's... partially nice and partially creepy to hear." he responded. Asked why he opposed the reforms he said "The dark side is always my choice." which at least explains why he lives underneath a power station. Finally we asked what his proposed solution would be: "All I can say is that it's Arabic and I have a hunch it has "Allah" in it somewhere," he said enthusiastically (we imagine). We failed to ask Uncyclopedian every man Frosty what he thought about the conflict, he responded by saying "They are actually both kinda awful, so whatever. I cant be bothered." albeit he did say this on Tuesday... to someone else... about something completely different. Dr. Skullthumper rebutted Socky's accusations of Article Death Camps by saying "I've been an uptight fucker because I was on my periods" to RAHB, in 2008. Hopefully this will all accumulate with some kind of massive fight, hopefully with lasers... in space; this correspondent certainly hopes so. Competitions By Chief We here at the UnSignpost were out of writing material this week, and that doesn't just mean we have run out of pens, it means that VFS has concluded, nobody is really fighting about anything and most crucially there have been no writing competitions. Usually you can't move for Uncyclopedia competitions begging people to write something funny in the name of fun and games and with the promise of a shiny template should they do particularly well. Well Thekillerfroggy certainly noticed and it seems that every person who has ever hosted a competition ever was just waiting for him to ask since they are now all fighting over who gets to hold their writing competition first, by being incredibly gallant and insisting that everyone else go first. It's like watching a group of middle aged women discuss who will get to have the last Malteser: "Oh I really shouldn't, no you do it, you haven't had a Malteser in such a long time, I know I love them and being in charge of them but you asked nicely, oh do go on Mavis." You get the idea (obviously in this analogy Maltesers are writing competitions). We list the ideas floating around on the forum below for your laziness convenience: 1) The PLS, last hosted by Sycamore in February. 2) The Article Whisperer last hosted by MadMax in October last year. 3) The Happy Monkey Competition hosted by Shabidoo in March. 4) Some hypothetical competition possibly hosted by Ljlego at some theoretical point this summer. One thing is for certain, one of these will happen, be sure to keep an eye on the forums to see what is being held when, that way you can not take part as a conscientious objection rather than just through ignorance.

Check out these pages! Kip The Dip Do you speak Shabidoo? Romartus leads the way From our logs: 23:58, July 1, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked 27.3.18.100 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Look at the cute little revert warrior...) 08:27, July 1, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 137 minutes ‎ (it's not Retardpedia, you say? What the fuck was I ever doing here then?) 19:15, July 1, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 108.67.107.232 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Why do people take so dang long to blank a page? Honestly. It's just edit -> select all -> backspace.) 16:30, July 3, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.228.244.123 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (It's my userpage, the important part being that it is mine, If I want to fill it with hentai and fairies that is my own crap decision and you should let me roll with it.) 01:09, July 5, 2011 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Olipro sucks (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Your Mother) 11:27, July 4, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.250.163.61 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Are you stupid? This is a legitimate question based on the nature of your contributions.) Biopic of the Week What can one say about Joe9320? That he hasn't already said himself, it is not an exaggeration to say that Joe9320's biggest fan is Joe9320. That said, you should not let this, or his... unique userpage put you off Joe. Joe's biggest commitments right now are the Goa Tse clan, being made an admin and being Joe9320. Joe has been around since 2008 and should be afforded a level of respect for causing very little in the way of real problems in that time, accruing a stunning 8 blocks as he wheels from forum to forum explaining why he rocks and why we should all agree that he rocks. So those of you with supposedly limitless free time can swing past Joe's userpage and once they have enjoyed that for a little while can swing by his talk page and speak to the man himself. Good luck to you; there be monsters. Old School FA The GPS is today becoming a never-ending source of delight to exuberant male drivers, for two main reasons: Their total lack of ability to ask for directions. Their insatiable desire for new, expensive and totally unnecessary toys. The GPS fulfils both of those basic male needs. The GPS will essentially connect to several geographic satellites which are able to coordinate the driver's local position, destination and how to bridge the gap between the two. At the next roundabout- HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Newsroom UnTune of the week Can't Stop Him Now

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

Da Grove

Yo bro! I finished my option editing. Please see it HERE. If you like what I have done please finish it off and replace the old article. Once replaced I'll reNOM it on VFH and it will 4 sure get featured this time... no need to wait. I don't need to be credited as a collaborator so I can Nom it, and the FA credit goes to you. All I did was what others have done for me from time to time - option editing. Whattya say, dude?--Funnybony    16:49, Jul 7

BWahahaha!!!! Nom it and say it was a collab between me and you uptop. One half credit each if it works! I have to go for the afternoon, but don't forget to say it is a collab! Awesome work, we'll do this more often! XD Mattsnow 16:56, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

!HFV no etov ruoy rof sknahT

.segassem nataS wollof lanimilbus yna dragersid esaelP !sdrawkcab ti daer uoy ,yeH !sdrawkcab egassem siht daer ton oD !sdrawkcab egassem siht daer ton oD ZELUR GNIKSAMKCAB

Slithy Tove 00:53, July 9, 2011 (UTC)

40th Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my 40th featured article.

It also happens to be my third featured UnNews.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:51, July 9, 2011 (UTC)

---

Yo!!

Please don't edit (or screw up, for that matter) HowTo:Work at Target. It is good the way it is, although I can't seem too understand why you would vote  Against. it. Aimsplode 21:22, July 9, 2011 (UTC) I liked it, it just would look better with pics I think. Mattsnow 02:03, July 10, 2011 (UTC)

Team article

Hey, Mattsnow. I was wondering if we can do a collaberative article? You know, I present ideas to you, and you present ideas to me.

I already made up a name of an article. It's called, Why?:Al Qaeda is Fake.

--Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 15:55, July 10, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll keep that! You should go in UN:REQ. These are "requested" articles, there is a ton of ideas there! Mattsnow 20:55, July 10, 2011 (UTC)

˙ʞǝǝʍ sıɥʇ sɹoop ǝɥʇ ɟo sɔıɹʎl ǝʇonb ʎluo oʇ ʎɹʇ oʇ ƃuıoƃ ɯɐ ı 'ǝsnɟuoɔ oʇ ɹǝpɹo uı--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:28, July 11, 2011 (UTC)

How do you get those letters? By putting your monitor upside down? XD Mattsnow 00:37, July 13, 2011 (UTC)

Will you go out with me?

Also, I've put our little collab in mainspace, and requested a review. It needs work but I think we've got a decent start. By the way, I insist on sex on a first date. --Black Flamingo 21:30, July 11, 2011 (UTC)

Whoa, you're easy lol! Can't wait to see the Pee Review, Good job with the pics! Mattsnow 00:37, July 13, 2011 (UTC)

Falklands

So I wasn't able to find any better pictures, but I added another section and tweaked it a bit more. I think it's pretty much as finished as it's going to be, so if you still want to nom it, please, do the honors. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   17:41, July 12, 2011 (UTC)

I just did! Great job with the additions, the article is awesome! I really hope it does well! Also, don't forget to put links. There aren't any at present. Mattsnow 00:37, July 13, 2011 (UTC)

This is not spam...

...this is the greatest opportunity of your life. Summer extravaganza tournament. Teams of 2 or 3 users. Lasts month of August. Tournament wont be the same without you. Don't be an outcaste. CHECK IT OUT. --ShabiDOO 19:18, July 13, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

July 14th, 2011 • Issue 129 • The Engines cannae take it Captain!

Now You're Gone By Chief This week the UnSignpost is the bearer of sad sad news. A person close to us all, an integral cog in the workings of the wiki has taken a leave of absence and now there is nobody to take up the slack. Yes it is with a heavy heart we report that Sannse is hardly ever here these days. For those who are interested there will be a small service on Sunday where we will all have a minutes fresh air in honour of Sannse, on the plus side Lyrithya hasn't edited the wiki in four days at the time of going to press! This forum by super sensitive Ljlego details his intentions to force Lyrithya into a holiday, buy tampons and grow a vagina, not necessarily in that order. For those of you who don't know what a holiday involves it's a very expensive way of going to stay somewhere with unreliable internet, too much spicy food and to be molested by foreigners who smell of spicy food. Ljlego doesn't make it clear why exactly he thinks that Lyrithya needs molesting but it's most likely because she makes a prettier lady than he does. Dr. Skullthumper, who just can't stay out of the UnSignpost these days, has diagnosed Lyrithya with what he calls "Uncyc Fatigue" a condition that in its final stages renders one completely incapable of caring about anything to do with Uncyclopedia. By that prognosis just about every woman in this correspondent's life has suffered from "Uncyc Fatigue" and not, as I incorrectly assumed, "Chief Fever". Romartus called for calm saying that we should "Let Lyrithya decide what she wants to do without pressure". So we should all just sit back and wait for the first corpse to turn up; cut to pieces in an alleyway with "Shifty Eyes" daubed in blood on a nearby wall. In other news the forums have exploded with suggestions for writing competitions, with ideas like "You write an article with your eyes closed!" and "You write an article about pants and then we all vote on which pants article is most pants and the winner can add a picture of some pants to their signature!!!" being floated for your approval. If you want to participate or support an idea then make a point of telling the person suggesting it, or they are liable to forget all about it. The PLS is the one that is most likely to happen and it needs fools with time on their hands willing volunteers to make it worthwhile, speaking of which do a Pee review. What you should all be doing. By Magic man Hi there, my name is Magic man. Some of you may know me as god, some of you may not. In this day in age, it's hard to know what to do; you've got the media, your boss, and all your friends at school (don't try to deny it, I know most of you are still schoolchildren) telling you different things: What to like, what to wear, who to be friends with, not to follow them home. To be quite frank, it annoys the hell out of me when people tell other people what to do. Unless I'm the one doing the telling. So after reviewing all the opinion columns, listening long and hard to everyone opinions I have come to this conclusion: Give me all your money. Really, I'm a great guy and very deserving. All my research does point to everyone giving me all their money, so that's another reason, right there. What's that you say? you think I'm lying to you just to help myself? Noooooo! What would make you say that? I mean, have I ever lied to you? Okay, maybe. But that doesn't mean I'm lying right now. Really, I'm not. Huh? What now?! You say you're to poor, old, ugly, lazy, selfish, stupid or short to give me money? Well don't worry your pretty little head you poor/old/ugly/lazy/selfish/stupid/short bastard you! Because if you can't give me money, give me your children! Don't have children? That's alright, I'll take anything! Blowjobs, pie, plastic penises, lollipops, whores, a collage college degree, attention, bananas (actually on second thought, don't give me bananas, I hate those things...), goldfish, human eyes, or hair pieces. Really, anything, except for bananas, remember, I hate those things! Give today.

Check out these pages! Site Notices We the people Extravaganza! POO! Fails QA From our logs: 11:11, July 12, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 213.226.63.143 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Haha! You're so funny and original, your talents are wasted here.) 08:22, July 10, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.142.73.215 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (Confucius say: Fuck you gaylord ) 08:29, July 12, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.17.9.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (nice spamcruft, bro...) 20:42, July 7, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Hotelle (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Please find yourself a more purposeful occupation than making a list about a yuky doody bigger.) 20:31, July 7, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (Giant pile of useless fail) 10:27, July 8, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 195.194.21.180 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (hey, you remember the last time I banned you for being an idiot? good times, man, good times. ) 07:25, July 12, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.133.97.72 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 months ‎ (SERIOUSLY GUY, I HAVE TO ADMIT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE BANNED) Biopic of the Week The biopic for this week focusses on a user who has taught us all a thing or two about being Uncyclopedians and just a little bit about being human... ha ha just kidding, this week the biopic is about Shabidoo. Now let me start us off by saying that I don't hate Shabidoo how could one hate a user who persists in his enthusiasm for all aspects of the site? You've all seen him on the forums talking about his views and hosting competitions and writing and checking pee reviews. What a splendid fellow. However... His userpage, I've been there and he lists several users that inspire him; I am not on this list. He lists several users who are "Great Behind The Scenes"; I'm not on that list either. We here at the UnSignpost can only conclude that being "Great Behind the Scenes" involves doing sexual favours for Shabidoo and probably involves freakish dancing and harnesses. So if you fancy meeting Shabidoo, one of Uncyclopedia's great innovators, then you had better be prepared to strim his hedge at some point, if you know what we mean... Word of the Week Symmetry Newsroom UnTune of the week My Humps (Acoustic)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

UnBooks:A Day in the Life of a Prime Minister

I have a concept for a Canadian article. The article would be about a day in the life of Stephen Harper, written in the style of a children's book. You're welcome to join in. Cheers. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:52, 14 July 2011

MMMM, thanks for the offer but I'm not too sure, since I am pretty biased against the guy. Great concept though! Who do you have on the team so far? Mattsnow 19:57, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

I might bring Todd Lyons in, and possibly Kevillips. But it dosen't matter if you're biased or not. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:52, 14 July 2011

We can try that, ok, I'M in, but in AugustI'll participate in the competition, will you? Mattsnow 22:13, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, i'm on the purple team. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:36, 15 July 2011

Request

Hey, Matt. I have made a recent article called Zombie Americans, and I need some advice on how to expand the page. There are no pictures right now, because I'm requesting some from that RadicalX's Corner page. I just need some few keen advices on how to spice it up with humor.

--Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 22:41, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

I like the concept of this one, it's great you seem to know some about American apathy. A thing I would recommend is to cut down on the swearing a bit and pay attention to your prose, using beautiful synonyms sometimes, etc. It's amazing how a well-written article can make it funnier. How about you submit it to a Pee Review after some more work and say I'll pick it on (I will) There is also a bunch of typos as of now. Do that and I'll be happy to help you with ides on a Pee Review bro! Just szend me a message when you put it on Pee and I'll pick it up shortly. Mattsnow 22:55, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

Pee Review

I posted my new article on Pee Review again. Review quick before that giant duchefuck decides to review it again! --Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 15:14, July 15, 2011 (UTC)

Re:Pee Review

Yes, it is true that I have autism. I basically use incorporate that mental dissability into my humor when I'm making Uncyclopedian articles. So that's why my articles don't really come up the same as others. Oh, and I'm turning 16. --Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 18:23, July 15, 2011 (UTC)

Purple spleen

You are hereby awarded the

Purple Spleen

For heroic work in cleaning up the Uncyclopedia one article at a time.

--EMC

For your heroic efforts in combating vandalism and crappy edits. (Don't eat the spleen. I found it in a dumpster.) --EMC ^[TALK] 21:27 Jul 15 2011

New Boyfriend

So, uh, I was adding a few lines here and there and ended up accidentally re-hauling pretty much the whole thing. How's it looking from your end? --Black Flamingo 00:33, July 16, 2011 (UTC)

Zombie Americans

Alright Mattsnow, I have done what I can to edit my article, Zombie Americans. I would like for you to find some mistakes, and then fix it. If you do; one I nominate Zombie Americans to the Featured Nomination Page, I'll give you some credit.

--Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 15:17, July 16, 2011 (UTC)

PS: How do you change your signature, because I made my own custom signature here; and when I copy it into my preferences, it doesn't work.

A Black Flamingo is in love with you...

His name is Diego, also known as Black Flamingo 11 to his online customers, and he wanted me to tell you that if you go out with him, he will give a night of passion you will never experience again in your young, metabolism-worry-free years, banging you like a chisel on marble, first harder and harder and then softer when the work is almost done.

P.S. You should probably pay him up front. He can get moody when we has to wait for payment in the mornings and will most likely steal your wallet rather than wake you up. Don't make that mistake like I did.

I know just the guy to make Black Flamingo talk

Hope you enjoy. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   16:06, July 16, 2011 (UTC)

Oh boy, what did I get myself into? I didn't know he was such a creep... Mattsnow 13:08, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

How d'you do, ma'am? /lifts top hat. --Black Flamingo 13:47, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

You should run Matt, the lifting of the top hat is a common sign of a Black Flamingo preparing to drag it's victim away to a cheap motel with a big bed and plentyyyy of lotion and oil. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   18:19, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

I am reminded of a Saw scene, think we can set him up so he contemplates his sins before his demise? Mattsnow 18:37, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Not while he is still in possession of that top hat, no. It's like cocaine for Sherlock Holmes or something. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   18:55, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

A question of taste...

Look...I just want you to know that I am not going to get all jelous. You can do what ever you want with who ever you want, I just want you to know that I'll always love you. I may fall out of love with you...with time..and I take rejection well. So...fly away bird...fly away free. Theres enough love for the two of us in my fragile little heart. Tweet tweet. Tweet. (gets some gun powder). xoxox --ShabiDOO 21:21, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

What is going on Shabidoo? I don't quite get it my friend! Are you mad at me?!?! Mattsnow 21:34, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Why would I be mad at you? I'm happy for you and Black Flamingo. Seriously. Ill be fine. Dont worry about me. Like...for real. (looking for the semi automatic). --ShabiDOO 21:39, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Could you be a little more exlicit? Is it because I expressed my opinion along with Oliphaute's that it may be better to have a 2 person team? You think I don't like Magic Man? Consider I voted for on his Visual Pun article and on Hypnotism. What is going on? I just don't get it Shabidoo, it seems like another person is writing. Are you on IRC? We could discuss, Why aren't you mad at Olîphaute then? Mattsnow 21:46, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Oh yeah. All the ladies want a fat slice of flamingo meat. --Black Flamingo 21:49, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Oh dear. What I wrote here on your page is a total joke. Take a look at your talk page...search for clues...and maybe it will all make sense :) --ShabiDOO 21:53, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Man I'm pissed. I have been trying hard to steer clear of drama here. Mattsnow 21:56, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Dios mio. Okay...see how in the last section...it says that Black Flamingo is in love with you. I was insinuating that I am also in love with you and that Black Flamingo can have you. You then assumed I hate you. There is not drama. Everything here is a joke, including the quib about chicks wanting Black Flamingo meat. To be honest...there hasn't been any real drama on the site for a while (at least anything I'm clever enough to notice). The sites actually pretty dead the last bit. (unless theres some geeky stuff going on at IRC i dont know about). to reiterate...NO...i have no problem with you. You are one of the cheeriest nicests people on the site. I also just shot your dog. Sorry. I really do like you. Did he have a name? --ShabiDOO 22:01, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Wow, I just realized Shabidoo did nothing wrong here at all! Sorry about that, I guess I have a problem since I am on Oxicontin since my jaw is broken. I guess it makes me se things, please answer in a serious way! Please! What an asshole I am! Mattsnow 22:05, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Mmm...Oxicontin is nice. Demerol is nicer. When you come off it and realise your dog is gone...you might realise I did something wrong. Ill be gone by then. Matt...its nice to have you here in Aleisters absence. :) --ShabiDOO 22:09, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Wow I am so sorry, I had a broken jaw in an horrendous accident and I can just recently "chew" if you want to call chewing soup "chewing". I am so sorry and as I review the text I just don't get where I paranoied things... It's just not a good time to make "hardcore" jokes with me I guess, I am on meds all the time to escape the pain the metal plate in my jaw induces... So sorry about that! I like you a lot Shabidoo. I feel shame. Let's forget this! Mattsnow 22:15, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah it was all a joke, lol. Except the part where Shab said he hated you, obviously. --Black Flamingo 22:18, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

My shame is greater than your shame. Flamingos shame is greater then even ours. We are all shamed. Hope you feel better Matt. JESUS you broke your Jaw? Wholly shit. WHAT WERE YOU DOING!? --ShabiDOO 22:21, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

I took my med one hour ago, it is composed of morphine and codeine. Wow, it made me hallucinate things, I tok 2 mg instead of 1. The prescription is 3 a day! 0.0 I gues I'll have some leftovers! Anybody want some? So sorry again! I'm gonna go on Shabidoo's page to apologize! Mattsnow 22:26, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

You Ok?

If you are too tired or in too much pain, you can withdraw from the USE tournament....I hope you heal fast. I know what you're feelin'...I've had my experiences with pain..gawd....I've had over 60 stitches in my life, and about 20 staples. Broken two toes...sprained my rotator cuff twice...almost cut the tip of my pointing finger off...broken my chin...cracked the crown (no joke) of my skull..and nearly sliced my artery in my wrist with an oyster shell (their sharp, believe me). But those don't hurt anymore. You can tough through it. If you want to change your entry to the USE, I'm always here, and so is Joe, since he is the headmaster, and I'm just a judge. Again, I hope you feel better soon, the tournament would not be the same without you. ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 18:32, July 18, 2011 (UTC)

LOL, I'm alright, I have Oxicontin, they are gonna remove the plate in my jaw next week. I don't know if you ever took Oxycontin, but it is one hell of a drug lol, you are worse than drunk but actually don't really realize it! :) Don't worry about me, I'm gonna be good for the tournament, I even just finished an UnNews yesterday when I had the brilliant idea to take 2 pills instead of one, hence my totally numb conversation I had with Shabidoo above lol, man I was out of it! Like the words had totally different meaning or something. I like reread the paragraphs 15 times and I could hardly make sense of it, and now I see this was a really obvious joke. lol At least he forgave me! I guess I'll stick to the proper dosage, this stuff has a healthy cocktail of morphine and codeine in it, but I'm scheduled to stop it in a week. I can't wait for the tournament, finally, one that will work! Thanks for caring though, :) Mattsnow 18:49, July 18, 2011 (UTC)

PS Goddamn, I am rereading the conversation with Shabidoo, I really was on Mars or something LMAO!!

LOL Ok, just making sure. Remember, we don't want any drunks in the competition.... Anyway, hope you get better soon, and enjoy the competition.

Now that I'm a Co-Hoster/Founder, I can actually change things about the tournament. Remember, comments to me go here, lol. Again, enjoy the competition, and I don't see whats so funny about this convo.... ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 19:18, July 18, 2011 (UTC)

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS

Admittedly, I hate a lot of old memes, but Monkey Boy Steve Ballmer's antics isn't one of them. I still love that Developers Remix video and watch it a few times a year (most recently a few weeks ago). Anyway, sorry to see your nom crash and burn so horribly. The meme still has fans, but it's not likely to see the front page here. --T. (talk) 19:35, July 18, 2011 (UTC)

It's not me who wrote the thing, so I don't care, but the fail was so epic it was funny LOL. Mattsnow 19:39, July 18, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I know, it's probably as old as the meme. Glad you found it amusing cuz I felt the failquake coming from a mile back. It's one of those things where you know it's doomed, but you're glad someone else did it so you can chuckle from a safe distance. =) ~ T. (talk) 19:48, July 18, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: Avoid all contact with eyes.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

July 21st, 2011 • Issue 130 • Are you flirting with me?

Voting (again) Senseless rambling by ChiefjusticeDS So as we approach the end of the month the monthly award competition should really be heating up and showing us all the great expanses of talent of which Uncyclopedia can rightfully boast. We are pleased to report that this is exactly what has happened; the awards pages are packed with votes and edit summaries complaining of edit conflicts while voting, or at least they would be... IF WE LIVED IN OPPOSITE WORLD! In reality visiting an awards page feels rather like trekking around Chernobyl, sans Ukranian soldier who refuses to take pictures of you in front of all the landmarks; strange mutated beings (nominees) stagger out of the shadows begging for just one vote. However they await in vain as it would appear that all of you have forgotten that voting is actually the most fun you can have on Uncyclopedia, especially with your clothes off. One need only survey the lesser awards like Author of the Month and Potatochopper of the Month to see that this is clearly an issue in need of resolution. Dr. Skullthumper had this to say of the voting problem: "How so, where?" so we can all be assured that it is at the top of his to-do list of urgent issues to be resolved. The UnSignpost would like to be the first to recommend a solution; we suggest that we hit the award pages hard and fast with a major leafleting campaign, which when followed up with a proposal to propose a discussion on the issue of awards pages with few votes to be considered at some hypothetical point in the near to distant future by a committee of individuals elected through two junior sub-committees, will be a considerable force to be reckoned with. Since investigation is rumoured to be a part of the remit of the UnSignpost we outfitted several of our fearless reporters with pens and paper and sent them to find out what you think. Our first call was to the home of <insert name here> who, may we say, could do with mowing his lawn once in a while, and putting some clothes on before dancing to Blondie in the front room. "I was actually just going to vote on all the awards, no worries guys" said <insert name here> and we can only hope that <insert name here> does exactly that, since liars are regularly incarcerated on Zombiebaron's prison island, where the piteous cries of "No Zombiebaron here?" never stop. To update on the awards that have amassed some votes Noob of the Month, Uncyclopedia's favourite award, is exceptionally close this month with one candidate having assailed the dizzying heights of 4 votes and his nearest competitor tailing him at the similarly disorientating altitude of 3 votes. Uncyclopedian of the Month is a Frosty appreciation party and he leads his nearest competitor by 8 votes. Writer of the Month is a much more subdued affair with Mattsnow leading the pack with a massive three votes. The obvious resolution to this and indeed all problems on Uncyclopedia is that we all start voting as much as humanly possible, I'm going to go and do it right now; <insert name here> promised he would and I am inspired by his example, we hope you will be too. Football Uninformed rambling by ChiefjusticeDS It's American Football Season! Or so we are reliably informed on this forum by Guildensternenstein. The news is obviously that fantasy football is about to start again, for those of you who don't know how it works you are probably best to look it up on wikipedia or something because we here at the UnSignpost haven't a clue. Guildy has said "I need a minimum of 6 guys" and he would like about 12 people to sign up for fantasy football as well. The UnSignpost would also like to extend the offer of the post of "Pretend Sports Correspondent" to someone who can, occasionally, keep the expectant world up to date on the goings on in the league. If you want to participate then you had better sign up soon as there are only about three places left at the time of going to press, a working knowledge of American Football is not essential, just ask Neox and the "Well-Dressed Pickles" who managed to go the entirety of last season without winning or editing the line up, despite it containing six of the worst players in the entire league. Anyone interested in reporting on the fantasy football should submit a report to the press room from where, after some minor editing, we will place it into the next issue and claim it as our own.

Check out these pages! Extravaganza Bradaphraser Still not dead Lol whatever From our logs: 01:30, July 20, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Fnoodle (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (stealing admins' jobs. he's like one of them whatchacallits..... mexicans!) 18:50, July 19, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Mattsnow (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 seconds ‎ (Doing what I asked people to do in the UnSignpost; this means he read it before Thursday, this is tantamount to pissing in my face.) 08:31, July 19, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.17.151.155 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Theres a party in my pants. But you aren't invited....) 18:10, July 18, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Wanting to be an admin) 20:52, July 14, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Colin "All your base" Heaney (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (too gullible to live) 20:53, July 14, 2011 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) resurrected Colin "All your base" Heaney (Talk | contribs) ‎ (too rare to die) Biopic of the Week Mattsnow should have seen this coming, he should have known that a biopic is the result of hard work, diligence and sincerity... However in his case we have made an exception. For those of you who don't know Mattsnow was noob of the month two months ago which just goes to show that we really do just give it out to anyone. He has written several featured articles; just goes to show that VFH should probably be renamed Bribe for Highlight. He has done pee reviews too and I'm told those are quite good, needless to say I don't believe that, it just goes to show that Pee Review standards have really fallen since my day. We beg of you not to vote Mattsnow in Writer of the Month this month, remember a vote for Mattsnow is a vote for so-called "quality" and "humour". Unacceptable. Go on, speak to him if you want but don't come crying to us when he's as nice as everyone says he is. Newsroom UnTune of the week I Love You Cajek ban smackdown of the week! 11:45, July 15, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 12.3456789 seconds ‎ (For not being around enough.) 15:32, July 15, 2011 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 07.152011 seconds () ‎ (July 15: International "Ban Cajek" Day celebrations) 19:30, July 15, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 seconds ‎ (international ban Cajek day, you say?)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Double Header

Hey, bro! You got a double header, the Grove and Rand featured in a row. Congrats!! Damn if Ron Paul isn't making a lot of sense. I just saw that in the last couple months Ron Paul has received more contributions from On-duty military people than all the other GOP possibles combined. Still he will have a hard time getting the Nom because the NWO hates his guts almost as much as he hates theirs. I mean, Rick Perry was "the guy" invited to the Bilderberg Meeting, so he's the candidate (it would seem) - ugh! But Ron Paul sure is educating people in the process. Cheers!--Funnybony    07:02, Jul 23

Collabs: Hi Matt, just a note to mention that collab writers each get 0.5 of a HOS score point. If it's two writers or ten writers, each one gets a half point. On Grove Nom is written: Funnybony added so much to this article, I hope we do more collabs on Conspiracies. I changed the nom text to say it's a collab, because it is. Talk Mattsnow 01:48, July 8, 2011 (UTC). So, to avoid confusion over what is a simple matter, your HOS listing should say, Bohemian Grove (with Funnybony), and that would bring your score to 7. I know you want to do it right, so I'm just letting you know cause you're a new member just like I was a few years ago. Hey, lets do that again (collab, I mean). Well done. Cheers!--Funnybony    09:17, Jul 24

Cool! I may have one you'll be interested in retouching if it fails VFH, for now I don't write much, I go out and cycle a lot! I'm in an intellectual laziness and physically intense period LOL And Ron Paul is the only decent candidate, along with Dennis Kucinich, but the media is just ignoring him. Mattsnow 04:46, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Eh! I just went to the Hall of Shame, it is not me who added the articles, I knew about the 0.5 thing and I would have mentioned you, but I can't edit it! Do you have to be an admin? It was specified on VFH that it was a collab... WAT DO? Mattsnow 04:55, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Hey there, bro. To edit your HOS entry just click on the total number of your features, that is now "7.5" and then you can edit your listing and your total. I wonder how Ron Paul is going to get to the media when the media belongs to the NWO, and they must have told the media, "If Paul gets any PR you're all fired!" Bummer. I'm pretty sure Rick Perry will be GOP stooge in 2012. But if Paul did get elected he would probably end up as Kennedy and Lincoln, breaking his head on the NWO. Have fun on the road. In Nepal they have this one called, "suicide ride" which is a bicycle route to the summit of Everest...interested? Cheers!--Funnybony    07:01, Jul 25

Done! For Paul I pretty much agree although I am not following the race as religiously as I did in '08, when I learned about the NWO! I even took part in a protest/rally for the 9/11 truth movement here, we walked 250 miles from Montreal to Ottawa, garnering signatures for a petition for a new investigation of 9/11. I was interviewed on French radio here! I met the coolest people ever there! Cheers! Mattsnow 14:19, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

PEEING

So, it's come to our my attention that you've been doing lots of good reviews lately without really getting any thanks or praise for it. This ends today. Would you like to join PEEING? It's great, you get to... well, you don't really do anything that you're not already doing, but it does make you eligible for RotM and stops tigers from eating your babies. Probably. If that sounds like something you'd be even marginally interested in, just add your name on this page under "Fresh Stains". Keep up the good work! --Black Flamingo 22:02, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

Done! I also nommed Boyfriend, I really have an inspiration draught for the time being! Mattsnow 05:17, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Did you hear about Jack Layton?

He stepped down temporarily as leader of the NDP party. Due to his pancreatic cancer. As much as I dislike him, I hope he fights it. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:28, 25 July 2011

Ah? I didn't know that. I gotta say, I really don't have a favorite politician, they're all for the war. I hope he gets through it though. I would be lame to do an UnNews about it. :) Mattsnow 21:48, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Updates to UN:REQ

Hi Matt. I just finished updating UN:REQ and it's actually running a lot faster on my computer. I'd appreciate it if you could let me know how it works for you. Thanks. MadMax 06:06, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

More class than 9000 schools: It's the UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

July 28th, 2011 • Issue 131 • Happy Thursday

Forest Fire Spreads, Users Divided By Chief Now when it comes to deleting crap articles everybody on Uncyclopedia is on the same side, with the possible exception of Jupiterfox. We want crap articles out in order that we can effectively breed a wiki fit for kings and whoever else might stumble by. It is in the name of pruning the grand bush of humour that Forest Fire Week (or FFW if you are on a tight schedule) has come to be once again. For those of you who have been living under rocks on the surface of Saturn with only the UnSignpost to provide you with news Forest Fire Week involves tagging articles with a tag (duh) and then deleting them after seven days no matter what anyone else says. Such is the attraction of sending articles into the great infinite that there is a scoreboard on the forum detailing which of the Schutzstaffel participating users has captured the most deviant articles. The amount of tagging is truly tremendous with about 7% of all Uncyclopedia's articles winning themselves a tag. The scoreboard for most articles saved from Forest Fire Week tags is somewhat more subdued with Shabidoo leading the way having saved three, and Thekillerfroggy and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user following along behind having saved 1.5 and 0.5 articles respectively. Those of you looking for a bit of a hoot will not be disappointed to learn that the whole forum is a bit of a giggle as some users sit and sulk because they hate Forest Fire Week but feel too polite to tell anybody. Nobody will be surprised to learn that this is yet another brainwave from Uncyclopedia's head innovator Dr. Skullthumper who has a vision for Uncyclopedia and it is an Uncyclopedia that remains aerodynamic at high speeds due to the lack of poor articles attached to it. As always the UnSignpost has foregone actually speaking to him, mostly because we don't want our archives to be burned to the ground in the name of quality control. But just remember the good doctor is convinced "Our ancestors would not be proud of us" so we must be going right somewhere. Forest Fire Week ends on the very day that this splendid periodical has been delivered to you; users are instructed to return to their caves and await Dr. Skullthumper's next brain fart, it won't take long, it'll probably be recommending some kind of cyber upgrade for your brain that will turn us all into Cybermen. Then Doctor Who will have to murder everyone with plastic explosive, before having a final showdown with Dr. Skullthumper as he attempts to escape the exploding factory in his personal Zeppelin. It could happen. Users Return. Everything is Ruined. By Chief So you've been away from Uncyclopedia for a while, doing.... the garden. After a while you sit down and say "Hey my life is pretty average at the moment; I've finally managed to fit 17 crayons into a single nostril. I'll swing by past Uncyclopedia and all the freaky losers there!". So you do and everything has changed, what was right is now wrong that which once wore parachute pants... continues to wear parachute pants. Yes it seems Uncyclopedia isn't what it used to be as literally two users have reappeared to inform us that everything has gone wrong all of a sudden. Yes you should all be ashamed of the mess every single one of you have made of their favourite pages. There isn't really a point to this story, it is more a public service announcement. The other point of this story is to inform you all that our principal editor will be unable to write any news next week due to the impending arrival of several "friends" wishing to discuss some of his unfortunate financial liabilities. The UnSignpost therefore requires somebody to write the whole thing next week, attend the tedious meetings and... well that's pretty much it. If interested you should simply write the UnSignpost, it's easy; help us manage an issue every week for an entire year. It beats having real life goals.

Check out these pages! Do we? Name Game Uncyclopedia Unacceptable Most Visited Summer Extravaganza From our logs: 08:31, July 23, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 195.188.227.42 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Removing content from pages: That's so unoriginal I don't even have to type it out, it's on a drop down list; you sir are about as original as the next fifa game, i.e. not at all. IT'S JUST FOOTBALL DAMMIT!) 04:45, July 24, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 66.90.104.57 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite () ‎ (You must be this "piece of shit who eats pieces of his own shit" i hear so much about) 23:16, July 25, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.100.64.227 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't kill the nazis, please.) 12:59, July 26, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 71.134.147.97 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You seem to be doing something wrong, seeing as I'm banning you. You figure it out, I'm too lazy.) 04:36, July 27, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked TheHappySpaceman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Make better nominations. Also, times new roman??? geez what did you go to private school or something) 09:35, July 24, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Mikefish (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Masterfully done sir, to top it off perhaps you would like to try dangling your genitals in boiling water, it's great!) Biopic of the Week “I can't let you edit that Dave” ~ Fnoodle Well the UnSignpost has already done a biopic on Fnoodle but at the risk of constantly talking about Dr. Skullthumper and his freaky freakness, we are going to do it again now. The reason for this because alongside a whole host of pointless things you don't want to know about, Fnoodle now also delivers the UnSignpost, bans people and deletes articles. This is a splendid outcome, if you want to live in a Terminator film, shortly we will hand over too much power to Fnoodle, he will become self-aware and we will have to live in sewers to escape his humour purges. This of course is all part of the plan to have the wiki run not by humans who just moan about everything and clog up recent changes with new articles and voting, but by a race of sentient machines. So beware he of the daft username, he knows not what he does... well not at the moment anyway. Newsroom UnTune of the week I'm Ready To Bowl Right Now

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, July 28, 2011 (UTC)